Original subtitles

Oh, my God.

No, hey, no, no, no. Stop. [ Laughs ] Stop.

One of the more harrowing parts

of complex heart surgeries

is the moment we wean the patient

off the cardiopulmonary bypass machine.

Oh, Lucas!

We start slowly warming the patient.

- You're up early. - Couldn't sleep.

As the patient's temperature rises...

we check to make sure all of the air

has been removed from the heart.

Good morning!

- Hey. - Morning.

Coffee for the road?

- Mm. - You can bring it back tonight.

Thank you.

Anybody want a weed whacker?

The house on the corner's giving away a bunch of stuff for free.

Oh, I'm gonna be late, but I'll see you tonight.

- Bye! - Bye.

She took my mug.

Apparently, she'll bring it back. Tonight.

I found some good bridesmaid dress options.

If you're looking.

Those dresses belong in a museum.

They're free. And go away.

You think that I could officiate?

'Cause I've always wanted to do that.

I barely know you.

Oh, I'm sorry, are you gonna do it?

Trey and I still have a lot to figure out.

Yes! I'm in the mix.

Once the aortic cross-clamp is removed,

all eyes are on the heart for that moment of truth.

Will it start to beat?

Hey, can I borrow a shirt?

I need to bring some more clothes over here.

Uh, help yourself.

Thank you.

You know, I'm gonna go make breakfast.

Uh, meant to tell you-- We are out of the good granola.

Really? I just bought some.

I know. Been on a yogurt kick.

I'll get some more.

Oh, is that Kai?

Will you tell them I said hi? When are they coming back here?

I've got this documentary I want to show them.

Yeah, can I talk about this a little later?

Yeah. Um, they're about to go into a meeting,

so I just-- I've gotta--No, of course, of course.

To be continued.

Oh, uh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

I didn't know anyone was here, um, doing this.

Morning, baby. Meet Taya.

Taya is Seattle's most highly regarded Reiki practitioner.

R-Reiki. Uh, of-- of course.

Reiki, you know, it's an energy healing technique.

It clears the mind, promotes relaxation, improves focus.

I thought I'd give it a try before my surgery today.

- You want to go next? - Uh, no, no, thank you.

I was just, uh, looking for my raincoat.

It's in the hall closet.

And it's not like my workload has just evaporated.

My paperwork has doubled with the clinic.

Oh, please complain more about data entry to a chief resident.

You want to make it a contest? Because I work two jobs,

I moonlight in general, plus I'm a mom.

That's like four jobs.

Well, I feel like I have seven.

I'm having recurring dreams

about intern rotation assignments

when I should be dreaming about... hot nurse.

What? Hot.

Nurse. Hot. What?

Carlos. Oh, wait, quick. Hide-- Hide me.

Oh, my God. What is happening right now?

Carlos and I had a-an interaction

at the intern house party.

A quality interaction?

Very high quality, yes.

And afterwards, he gave me his number.

So, what's the problem?

He thinks I'm cool.

So? Look at me.

Okay, well, just take off the bike helmet.

Okay.

- I'll tell you when he's gone. - Oh, gosh.

Hey, have you assigned someone to supervise me today?

Right, I knew I was forgetting something.

I have to got to look at microscopes

and then a compliance meeting, whatever that is,

so somewhere between that and the hundred other things

I have to do, uh, I will get you a supervisor.

Do that first. Owen, I-I--

I called the medical commission.

- And said what? - I asked them for an appeal,

and they granted me one.

They're sending a preceptor.

He will assess me, and if I pass,

they will temporarily reinstate my license.

You just decided that? You didn't even talk to me about it?

You and I are broken. You know it, I know it.

I'm pretty sure the entire hospital knows it.

If I can practice medicine again,

maybe we can stop resenting each other.

Alright, when are they coming to assess you?

Today. He's downstairs right now.

So, about the supervisor.

Porter's with Ndugu. Millin's with Dr. Webber.

Griffith and Yasuda, you're with, uh, Shepherd.

And Massey's on scut.

As a gentle reminder,

I will be in the OR today with the Dr. Fox,

so do not page me, call me, or attempt to find me.

Uh, what if our patient is dying?

Take that attitude and channel it into saving them.

Move.

I've come to return my interns.

Pretty sure there's a no-return policy.

All my surgeries have been canceled.

Only thing they'd be learning is how to be the viper of Seattle.

Well, I see that a possible teaching opportunity--

- Where do you want us? - Look, just give me a second.

Dr. Schmitt, we're late.

Oh, I'm-- I'm so sorry, Dr. Fox.

I just need to reassign these interns.

Who wants to come fix a penis?

Totally. I'm in.

Consider them reassigned. Let's go, fellas.

Let's go.

Uh, Natalia Asaki, 32, post-op day two from right craniotomy

for resection of a metastatic lesion

from the primary esophageal carcinoma.

Well, your incision is healing well, Natalia.

No sign of infection.

Will I be able to travel soon?

Honey, you just had brain surgery.

Let's not rush anything, okay?

Our friends chipped in

to give us a divorce-honeymoon.

We want to go to Europe to see the sunsets.

Sunset is Natalia's favorite time of the day.

Mm. It's the magical hour when the sky becomes a painting.

My wife and I took a spectacular trip recently,

and yes, it really does feed the soul.

See? Our trip is doctor-recommended.

When can we book our plane ticket, Dr. Webber?

Well, we need to get a PET scan first.

And then we'll re-stage the cancer,

and we'll go from there.

Thank you.

Venice first.

If there's gelato, I'll follow you anywhere.

Yes.

Barbara Collins, 45,

presents with double vision and headaches.

A CT revealed a tumor in the center region of the brain.

Today, we will do a trans-ventricular

endoscopic approach to resect it.

And once removed, we'll send it to pathology

to determine if the mass is benign or cancerous.

And there it is. Our baby sister finally has cancer.

Took you long enough.

Dr. Shepherd, meet my sisters, Didi and Paula.

They flew in from Boston last night to offer their... support.

We never miss a cancer diagnosis.

We don't know for sure that it is cancer.

I'll need to obtain tissue first.

She has it. We've all had it.

I had breast cancer, Carol had skin cancer,

and Paula had butt cancer.

We all get it, and then we make the best of it.

That's right. Yeah.

Barbara, you can finally come to cancer camp.

We go every year with our chemo girls,

but this one never could because--

- No cancer. - No cancer.

Oh, I forgot. I brought champagne.

Huh?

Our mother was fertile for 40 years,

and she finally gave up sex when Barbara was born.

Is your other sister on her way?

Carol? No. She's, uh...

Oh, no. Ladies,

meet Carol.

She died 15 years ago.

Well, she kicked the cancer, but then she fell off a ladder.

She was always the clumsy one.

Your sister's in that box?

- Yeah. - Yep.

Well, we take her everywhere.

She loved meeting new people.

Yeah.

It's nice-- nice to meet you.

- Aww. - See, that's nice.

Good for you.

Yeah.

Oh. Bailey. Hey. Look, I want to apologize

for Owen and I fighting in front of you and Ben at dinner.

Cappuccino?

Fine.

Honestly, your pie was the first thing

that Owen and I agreed on in months.

I mean, the best pie ever. The most tender crust,

and the filling was sweet, but not too sweet.

I mean, what is your secret?

You know, you're my boss now. You don't have to butter me up.

No, I dreamt about your pie, truly.

You can just ask for what you want, Dr. Altman.

Owen is being evaluated by the medical commission today,

and he's trying really hard to fix this,

and if anything goes wrong,

he can't be reevaluated for another six months.

I'm still waiting for the question.

Would you supervise him, please? No.

What happened to I'm your boss and I can ask for what I want?

Doesn't mean I have to say yes. I'm busy.

And I'm rooting for him.

Mm.

Okay.

Link.

What are you doing right now?

Gerald Lien, age 60,

a history of increasingly painful, curved erections

that led to a diagnosis of Peyronie's disease.

Okay, so who can tell me

the pathophysiology of this disease?

It's an inflammatory condition

that can cause a bend in the penis,

and it's thought to be caused from repeated injuries

due to athletics, accidents, or sex.

Correct. Okay, let's go meet Gerald.

Gerald.

So nice to see you again.

This is Dr. Schmitt, Dr. Kwan, and Dr. Adams.

They're gonna be assisting me today.

Gerald first came to me about six months ago,

when his symptoms first started,

and we weren't able to help him surgically

because we needed to wait until the progression stabilized

and there was no further curvature.

You had to wait six months?

Uh, sorry. Please just fix it.

You can fix it, right? So I can stop avoiding my wife?

Today, Dr. Fox will resect the plaques that have built up

and then place a xenograft to repair the damage.

Gerald, are you sure there isn't anyone you want to call

and let them know you're having surgery today?

My wife and our friends think I'm at a conference right now,

where, in about three hours, I'm gonna pull a muscle,

which will require me to be in bed for a couple days.

Understood. Alright, Schmitt, Kwan, Adams,

let's go and study his penile ultrasound,

and I will see you in the O.R.

Thank you, Dr. Fox.

I'll need her latest scans so we can go over

my approach and positioning--

Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd? Didi and I were wondering

if you could tell us where we could get some coffee.

Uh-- Uh, there's a cafeteria downstairs,

or Dr. Yasuda could grab some from the lounge.

- Oh, that would be great. - Oh.

Sure. Two coffees, coming right up.

Actually, three.

Uh, and Carol takes hers with cream and sugar.

She always had a sweet tooth.

Okay. Sure.

Thank you, Dr. Yasuda.

Mm-hmm.

How do I get coffee for a dead person?

Same way you get coffee for a living person.

Pour it in a cup.

You worried she'll get mad at you if you screw up her order?

It looks like a... Boomerang.

- How does he pee? - Sideways?

As you can see, the ultrasound shows

a build-up of fibrous plaques,

and these plaques can contain calcifications

or completely ossify, which means--

The tissue can turn to bone.

Correct. It's worth noting this is not an ortho case.

It's very complex.

So be sure to carefully review the ultrasound studies.

Be extremely prepared. Then get him up to pre-op.

So, he's got bone...

In his bone.

Nope.

Penile surgery can be bloody and messy,

and if anything goes wrong, this man's erectile function

will be permanently impaired.

So, let's hear 'em.

All of 'em, right now.

Get your jokes out now.

Not one more after you set foot outside that door.

Captain Hook. Gargoyle gherkin. Bendy straw.

Get back to work.

Today, I'll be assessing your clinical skills,

bedside manner, - and diagnostic knowledge. - Yeah.

I want you to pretend I'm not here.

Do everything like you normally would.

Yeah. Mr. Williams, I am Dr. Hunt.

I am here to take a look at that cut.

- Can you tell me how it happened? - What's he doing here?

Oh, sorry, I should have introduced myself.

I'm Dr. Lincoln.

You-- You killed the Tank.

Mnh-mnh. I don't want him touching me.

Dr. Lincoln is an excellent surgeon,

but he is just here to observe today.

Observe what?

Wh-- Well, I am in a probationary period.

Not because of any malpractice or anything,

more bureaucratic stuff.

I assure you, I am a fully board certified trauma surgeon,

more than capable of sewing up a small head laceration.

So, when you're ready--

I'll wait for another doctor. Not you.

Mr. Williams, I really need to close that up

before it becomes infected, so--

Mm, I'll take my chances.

Alright.

So, the PET scan won't take long.

You can go back to planning your trip once we're finished.

Our first stop is the island

where Monet painted "San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk."

He's one of my favorite painters.

Do you have a favorite place in Europe, Dr. Millin?

I have never been,

but I've always wanted to go to Paris someday.

Ooh!

She has a case of the somedays.

The what? Natalia always says

that there are seven days in a week,

and someday isn't one of them.

When you live in "someday," you waste today.

I had a real bad case until I met her. She knocked it out of me.

The last time he used the word "someday,"

I made him sleep in the guest room.

Also known as the porch. She made me sleep on the porch.

Oh, God, she's bleeding! Hey, Natalia, hey.

I need suction and a crash cart, and page Dr. Webber! Now!

It's okay. Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Into this. Can you breathe?

You know Peyronie's disease is actually really common?

Affects 1 in 11 men.

Worried you got a kink in the hose?

If you bring that hyena home again tonight,

I am sleeping in my van.

How is that a threat?

Her name is Cara.

Yeah, Cara from internal medicine.

Did she wear her stethoscope in bed?

What does that even mean?

Is she why you're worried you have Peyronie's disease?

- You're worried about Peyronie's? - No.

I don't trust anyone who doesn't cut.

You know, maybe I'm not interested in "trusting" her.

The people need sleep!

Are you kidding me? I have to get out of here.

I understand.

Seems like it's going well.

That woman is yelling in his face.

Well, it's not you for once.

This is me trying to be encouraging.

It's a UTI.Owen: You're probably right,

but I need to do a full work-up,

just to make sure that nothing else is going on.

It burns when I pee, and I have to go all the time.

It's textbook UTI.

Just give me the antibiotics, and I'll free up a bed.

We can't. I need to take your vitals and take a urine sample.

And how long will that take?

That depends on how busy the labs are,

but I promise we will get you out of here as soon as we can.

Okay, I'm already missing the study group for my logic class,

and then I have an econ paper due at 5:00 p.m.,

and my restaurant shift starts at 7:00.

I don't have time for this.

I'll just use my friend's leftover antibiotics.

No, no, no. I wouldn't recommend that.

Okay, what's next?

We just need to send off your type and screen,

and then we'll be ready to go.

Okay.

Uh, can I ask you something?

- Now that it's just you and me? - Of course.

If things don't go smoothly in there, could it be permanent?

There's always the possibility of tissue damage,

nerve damage, or more severe erectile dysfunction,

but that only happens in 20% of the cases.

And Dr. Fox is excellent.

Oh.

My wife's name is Gloria, but I call her Glow

because she... just glows.

She was a history professor before she retired.

She loves big concerts, dive restaurants,

and the ocean, and I didn't tell her

because I didn't want her to feel sorry for me.

Or look at me differently.

So, what if I'm in that 20%?

How long have you been married?37 years.

I don't think that your condition will be permanent,

but your marriage sounds like it is.

Right.

I'll be back in a few minutes to take you to pre-op.

Right there. Natalia's esophageal tumor

has eroded into the aorta and the posterior mediastinum.

Tumor's everywhere.

So, her heart's bleeding out.

Essentially, yeah.

Can you resect it?

I wouldn't know where to begin.

You paged me?

I need a second opinion.

Large esophageal mass,

which has eroded into the aorta and pericardium.

Sorry. Uh, you don't think

a-a descending stent graft would work?

That won't help her.

Well, so what do we do now?

Nothing. Best thing we can do

for Natalia is, uh, give her pain medication

and help her go peacefully.

How much time do I have?

It depends.

Could be anywhere from a few days

to a few hours.

I'm so sorry, Natalia.

We'll make sure you're comfortable.

Whatever you need.

Thank you.

When Elliot gets back, we can walk him through this.

We know that these conversations can be difficult.

No.

Just let us plan our trip.

Natalia, your husband needs to be prepared.

He needs to say goodbye.

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't need that.

We cannot handle that.

Please.

Let us... plan our trip.

I talked to Nurse Staci, and I got the full download.

- The full download? - Yeah. Carlos.

Okay, dogs, not cats.

Star Trek, not Star Wars. That's good, right?

And then, oh, he went to Costa Rica last year

just to see the sloths.

- Isn't that so cute? - This is stalking.

I really don't want to be implicated in a stalking case.

Listen, you and Nico broke up over a year ago.

- I have surgery. - Oh, my God.

Will you just talk to him? It's not a big deal.

No. I am not you.

Why is it that every time someone like me feels insecure,

a very good-looking, charming person is like,

"Just do it. It's not a big deal.

It's fun. It'll be easy"?

Oh, and he hates vampire shows!

I know you're scared of vampires.

So, you got kids?

Yes.

- Okay, what do we got? - Edgar Reyes, 38,

MVC, unrestrained driver with blunt trauma to the chest.

Got diminished breath sounds bilaterally,

satting at 80%.

BP is 95/40.

Intubated and needle decompressions done in the field.

You ready? On my count.

1, 2, 3, let's go.

Okay, let's bring in the X-ray.

Okay, sats are dropping.

I'm seeing extensive subcutaneous emphysema.

Plate's already in.

Alright, here we go.

Damn it. Deviated trachea.

I can't make out if there's a hemothorax

with all the air in the tissue.

Okay, there's no oxygen getting to his lungs.

Systolic's falling. We should call for bronchoscopy.

He'll be dead by then, especially if he has a ruptured airway.

Get me a 10-blade, gloves, and betadine.

- What the hell are you doing? - He might have a tracheal injury.

We need to do something before he codes.

So wait for the bronchoscopy so you don't go in blind.

We don't have time for me to check all those boxes, okay?

Somebody page Dr. Ndugu!

Who can tell me why I am injecting the penis

with papaverine to induce an erection?

Hello?

The penis must be erect--

In order to place the correct anatomic markings.

Correct. 15-blade.

Dr. Kwan, should I make the incision

on the long or short side of the curvature?

Short side.

Correct.

Here we go.

Oh, nice blood flow.

Suction, Kwan.

Kwan.

Blue? Kwan.

Blue.

I would have bet my money on the other one.

Oh, crap.

Eyes on the field, Schmitt.

Someone get that intern off my O.R. floor.

Adams, get him out of here.

If I leave, can I come back?

Now!

So, there's a chance I won't remember anything

- when I wake up? - Well, there is a chance,

but I'm very, very good at my job.

Oh, don't worry, honey, you'll be fine.

The doctors told Paula

she'd never be able to eat spicy food.

And I eat hot sauce on my eggs every day.

And remember when they forgot to give Didi her nipple?

Who needs two nipples?

Yeah, see, there. - It all works out. - You know what?

We really need to get her into the operating room.

Her pulse is thready. But I will update you as soon as I can.

Okay. Mwah. We'll be waiting for you.

Yeah, all three of us.

What's wrong with my pulse?

Nothing. It's perfect.

But sometimes, we need our space.

You're right. You are very good at your job.

Woman over P.A.: Pathology, extension 2479.

Pathology, extension 2479.

Mr. Asaki, is everything alright?

Natalia sent me to get hot chocolate.

She only does that when she knows

that things are gonna get worse.

It's her tell.

Coughing up blood is not a sign of recovery, is it?

There are always unforeseen complications

with any kind of cancer.

Is she dying?

This is really a conversation

you should be having with your wife.

Do we at least have a month?

A week?

Do I have today?

I just need a minute.

I don't want her to see me like this.

I don't want to cause her any more pain.

Oxygen saturation still dropping, Hunt.

It's at 62%.

Tube's in. Ambu bag.

We had to do the clamshell to get a better visualization

of the tracheal repair.

Okay. Sats are rising.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Patient is hemodynamically unstable.

He needs an exploration and a definitive tracheal repair.

Alright. Okay. Let's go.

Woman over P.A.: Dr. Erica Newton to Trauma 2.

Dr. Newton to Trauma 2.

Dr. Millin? Are you alright?

We're Natalia's doctors,

and she is dying, and we are standing here doing nothing.

You gave her pain meds. That's not nothing.

She trusted us.

We should be doing everything we can think of to fix her heart.

I mean, isn't that what you would want if it were you?

Or your wife?

I wanted to become a surgeon because we heal people.

You don't just prescribe them medicine and wait to see if it works.

You wheel them to the O.R., and then you open them up,

and then you fix them.

That's our job. And right now, we are failing.

We are failing Natalia, and we are failing Elliot,

and I don't know what to do with that.

The worst part of this job is the powerlessness you feel

when you know there is nothing you can do.

Yes, we could take her back to the O.R.,

but all we would be doing is killing her faster.

The best surgeons, the best,

learn how to live with the worst part of this job.

Ready?

Ready.

Wait. If I die--Barbara--

If Carol can die from putting up Super Bowl decorations,

I can die from brain surgery.

If I die, do not let them carry me in a box.

I don't care. Let them throw me out the car window.

Okay.

Dr. Seip to oncology. Dr. Seip, report to oncology.

Where's your preceptor?

Gone. He said he had what he needed.

Ha. Yeah, was that before or after

you did an intracavitary intubation in the E.R.?

You know what, Bailey?

I thrive on order and protocol. I'm a solider.

The chain of command is in my bones,

but I also know when to break the rules to save the patient.

My license wasn't suspended

because of my ability to practice medicine.

It was suspended because

I fundamentally disagreed with the law,

because I did what I thought was right.

I want to get my license back,

and of course I want to fix things with Teddy,

but if I had done anything differently today, that patient would be dead.

I did what I thought was right, and I don't know how to do this job any other way.

Hey, none of those words you just said

is a thing that your wife or any of us don't know.

Have you tried apologizing

for all of the things that you got wrong

instead of constantly defending the things you got right?

Dr. Andorka to the NICU.

Dr. Mary Andorka to the NICU.

Is he in a lot of pain?

I'm sorry. And-- And you are?

Gloria. Glow. Gerald's wife.

Oh, I wasn't aware that he had called you.

He didn't. He has no idea I am here.

I've-- I've known all along.

He doesn't seem to remember

that I handle all of our insurance payments.

You never said anything to him?

I thought I should wait until he was ready to tell me.

And then months went by, and he didn't,

and I respect that.

I respect his pride enough to pretend.

Well, the surgery turned out beautifully.

Thank you.

Oh, you don't want to stay? See him?

I just needed to know that he was going to be okay.

I'll wait for his call.

Hmm.

♪ No matter what the cost or the distance ♪

♪ No bounds between our hearts ♪

Natalia...

your pain may increase over the next few hours,

and we'll adjust your medication to help, alright?

Thank you.

♪ You can't bear ♪

♪ No mountain I won't scale to meet you ♪

♪ My love will find a way to reach you ♪

♪ From the breeze kissing your cheek ♪

♪ To the gentle smile of stranger ♪

Can we go to that restaurant in Venice?

Oh, with the mussels in the pie?

- It's our first stop. - Yeah?

We can sit outside, right at dusk, so we can see...

The sunset.

And walk all along the canals.

The pigeons might get us, but who cares, right?

Yeah.

♪ I ♪

And someone will take our picture right by that tower.

♪ I ♪

The wind will be blowing your hair around,

and you'll keep asking for another one.

Then we'll go to Florence.

We'll go to Lake Como.

We'll keep going until we run out of money.

♪ Rivers will dry ♪

We'll see the sunsets every day.

We'll see the sunsets every day.

♪ Sun will rise and fall and still ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ Here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

Okay, spit it out.

Say whatever you want to say. Come on.

Fine.

I fainted when I saw a penis bleeding like a fire hydrant.

We found it.

We found the one thing

that makes Dr. Benson Kwan squeamish.

Are you happy?

You know, I lost out on a surgery today

because you passed out.

Then I had to drag your sorry ass in here--

heavier than it looks, by the way--

and, uh, babysit you.

The way I see it, you owe me.

Fine. I will do your progress notes for a week.

Two weeks.

What?

Nothing. Just, uh, sizing up the competition

and liking my odds.

Shut up.

Did you get all the tumor out?

I did. And the pathology report came back.

It was a colloid cyst. Your tumor is benign.

- Say it again? - Barbara doesn't have cancer.

Oh, don't worry. You'll get it.

You still got time, huh?

Yeah, you'll probably get breast cancer like me,

and then you can do a tummy tuck when they do the mastectomy.

I don't want cancer!

And no matter what you say, or how positively you say it,

having cancer is not fun.

Didi, you were exhausted all the time,

and I know you hated losing your hair.

You love your hair.

And, Paula, I hated watching you throw up all the time

and then boast about how skinny you were.

I hate everything about cancer.

I don't want it, I've never wanted it,

and you need to stop making me feel guilty for being healthy.

I love you both so much,

and I love that you somehow turned

the most horrible disease that can happen to us

into something positive.

But I still don't want it.

And you have to stop carrying our dead sister around in a box.

That is very weird.

It is.

We stay positive because,

the truth is, it's the only way we can deal with it, right?

But you're right. Cancer sucks.

I hate cancer, too.

And while we're telling the truth,

there's something else you need to know.

That's not Carol. I left her in Reno in 2007.

We've been carrying around cat litter for 15 years.

No. Stop it.

Cat litter. Stop it.

Stop it.

I heard what happened.

I'm sorry.

I am sorry that I made decisions that affected your life,

my life, and the life of our kids.

I'm sorry that we had to flee to L.A.

I'm sorry that I couldn't bring myself to face it

or even talk about it with you,

all the while you supported our family.

I'm sorry that my surfing partner was attractive.

You were right. I distracted myself with her attentions,

and then I pretended like I wasn't doing that.

I am sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

Wait, stop. It, um--

It's my turn.

I'm-- I'm also sorry.

I'm-- I'm sorry that I wasn't as supportive

as I could have been when you were struggling

with the possibility of losing your career.

I'm sorry that instead of talking to you,

I chose to drink.

I'm sorry that instead of accepting

that we are all less than perfect,

I chose to lash out, and I'm sorry,

because I know that nothing you have ever done

was meant to hurt me or the kids or you

or-- or our somewhat chaotic life.

You did it because you believed it was right. And I love you.

I always have, and I always will.

Also, um, Dr. Patel called.

And, um, you passed.

And I would really love it if you would return

to chief of trauma effective immediately.

Congratulations.

I would kiss you, but I'm chief,

and people can see through the window.

Did you never examine penises

in the Caribbean?

What about your urology rotation?

Once again, it's not about the penis.

I didn't expect that amount of blood in the field

and forgot to eat breakfast.

I saw you eat a bagel and a sandwich.

I don't want to talk about it.

Natalia died.

I'm sorry.

Yeah. Me, too.

Let's go.

Both of you. Come on.

Did you hear about Kwan?

- No. - He passed out in surgery--

I meant, "No, I don't want to talk about this."

Uh, do you have a problem with me?

No, no. Just had a long day.

Really tired. Didn't get any sleep last night.

You sure that's it?

Your fiancé's calling.

Hey. Perfect timing. Just got off my shift.

You ready?

Yeah.

I'll see you at home.

♪ Energy has got me flowin' freely ♪

Sorry, What did you say?

♪ It's easy when you just wake up glowin' like diamonds ♪

Sorry. Sorry, I had to follow up

on the solo penile placation grafting I did today.

You didn't need to include the word "solo" in that.

Dr. Fox let me place the graft,

and it was flawless.

That's great.

No, it is great.

I-I'm not Glasses anymore.

Somebody passed out in the O.R. today, and it wasn't me.

It was Kwan. We all heard.

I am a successful chief resident,

and I deserve to claim it.

Right now.

Why are you telling me this?

What unit is Carlos on?

Okay, thanks.

♪ I feel alive, vibin', flyin', yeah ♪

Carlos.

Hey.

Would you wanna grab a drink with me?

I'd love that.

Okay. Let's go.

I'm... on a double shift.

Right.

But tomorrow works?

Alright then. Tomorrow.

♪ Ladi dadi ladi dadi dadi, ladi dadi ♪

♪ And I'm only goin' up from here ♪

How'd the surgery go?

Oh. I had an intern pass out on the O.R. floor

when I cut into a penis.

Ooh, Lord, have mercy.

What is it, baby?

When we went to Kyoto,

we met a Reiki healer

who talked about using Reiki for pain management.

I remember.

Catherine...

I know something's wrong.

And I know you're trying to protect me.

But whatever it is, I'm ready to hear it.

My cancer is progressing.

Acceptance letters,

medical scans, the next morning's news--

We all have moments in which we want to hide from the results.

♪ But they're not talking ♪

Hey.

♪ It's quiet in the streets ♪

Hey. Uh...

can I stay at your place one more night?

What, you're heading back home?

I'm, uh-- I'm gonna check into a hotel.

You are?

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've worn out my welcome.

Now you think you've worn out your welcome?

You've been stealing my clothes and eating my food for years.

At least at my apartment, we both have bathrooms.

That was different. You're Meredith's sister-in-law,

I was her sister. You didn't have a choice.

Hey.

Just because Meredith moved,

nothing has changed between us.

We are still there for each other, okay?

Okay.

♪ I can still see the light ♪

But get your own cereal.

Yours will still taste better. I can't explain it.

♪ The light ♪

Come on. Let's go home.

♪ I can still see the light ♪

♪ If I know one thing ♪

♪ It's that all my plans are nothing ♪

♪ But wishes in the wind ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

But instead of closing your eyes

and delaying the inevitable...

♪ And my future rearranges ♪

- Mm, mm! - What is happening?

- Oh, no. - You know you want to.

- I really, really don't. - You do.

Oh, come on.

Mm, fine.

Yes!

You're next.

♪ When it gets darker, it gets even harder ♪

Nope. Not my color.

Ohh. Do they all smell?

Like dead people.

And cabbage.

Absolutely. Yeah.

- Here. - Okay, thank you.

Alright.

...find someone to hold your hand...

You look...

Bad.

Yes. Alcohol now. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers.

Actually, may I, uh...

Are we gonna be invited to your wedding?

We better be.

As I said, we're figuring things--

Are you kidding me?! Come on!

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

You're obviously invited.

We'll get back to you.

...and face it with you.

Captions by VITAC--