Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:48,247
(Fantasy language)
2
00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:50,382
(Fantasy language)
3
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:52,584
Seriously, her pussy is, like,
falling out.
4
00:00:52,584 --> 00:00:54,186
Someone needs to feed that thing
5
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:55,254
Before it eats her shorts.
6
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:59,791
(Fantasy language)
7
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,994
What are you faggots talking about?
8
00:01:02,994 --> 00:01:04,530
No. You must be mistaken.
9
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,165
We're not gay.
10
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:08,667
You choads were checking out
my ass, weren't you?
11
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,202
I-I-I wasn't.
12
00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,371
Well, at least I'm not gay.
13
00:01:13,739 --> 00:01:16,074
Fuck you.
14
00:01:21,947 --> 00:01:25,083
Come on. Stick it in the hole!
Yeah!
15
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,084
I got one more.
I got one more.
16
00:01:26,084 --> 00:01:27,153
Bring it.
Bring it, baby.
17
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,086
Bring it, baby.
Bring it, baby.
18
00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:29,087
Push it. Push it.
19
00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,489
Let me see you stick it.
20
00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:32,958
Oh, that's such a bulge.
21
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:34,793
What is that, like, 100 pounds?
22
00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:35,794
No, it's 40.
23
00:01:35,794 --> 00:01:36,795
Oh, okay, I got it.
24
00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:37,663
Come on.
Bring it down.
25
00:01:37,663 --> 00:01:38,930
I got one more.
I got one more.
26
00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:40,065
Let's see that bicep bulge, baby.
27
00:01:40,065 --> 00:01:41,400
Here we go.
Here we go. This is it.
28
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,202
I wanna see your bulge.
I wanna see your bulge.
29
00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:44,203
It's a flex-off.
30
00:01:44,203 --> 00:01:45,704
Oh, my God.
31
00:01:45,704 --> 00:01:47,072
Yeah. You feel that?
32
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:48,940
Oh!
33
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,609
Oh, man, I felt your bulge.
34
00:01:50,609 --> 00:01:52,811
Oh, God. My sweater's all nasty.
35
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,448
What's up?
36
00:01:56,448 --> 00:01:59,718
Yeah, one English lit 435 paper.
37
00:01:59,718 --> 00:02:02,554
The freudian interpretation of
the bell jar.
38
00:02:02,554 --> 00:02:03,555
Yeah, put it...
Put it there.
39
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:05,391
The football team thanks you
40
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,992
For keeping me on the field.
41
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:08,794
Our pleasure.
42
00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:10,429
Which is why I went ahead and
got you guys
43
00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:12,030
A little token of my gratitude.
44
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:13,565
Call it something special
45
00:02:13,565 --> 00:02:15,467
For being so contingent.
46
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,635
Yeah.
47
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,337
Uh, consistent.
48
00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:22,274
Yeah, whatever.
49
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:23,309
You're gonna love this.
50
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,876
We can pledge next semester?
51
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:35,086
Oh, please.
52
00:02:35,086 --> 00:02:37,289
Oh, lower it down.
Lower it down.
53
00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:38,657
Oh, use my shit, bro.
54
00:02:38,657 --> 00:02:39,491
Oh, my God.
55
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,092
That's what bros are for, bro.
56
00:02:41,092 --> 00:02:42,093
You got that much game?
57
00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,094
Oh, yeah.
58
00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:44,129
Man, you shave your...
59
00:02:44,129 --> 00:02:46,265
Dude, yeah, man.
Chicks dig it.
60
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,666
Oh, Jesus, that was good.
61
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,201
Oh, my.
62
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:50,536
Where was I?
63
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:53,405
You were about to give us $300
for the homework.
64
00:02:53,405 --> 00:02:54,506
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
65
00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:56,408
Anyway, I thought, like, this time,
66
00:02:56,408 --> 00:03:00,279
Something instead of money.
67
00:03:00,279 --> 00:03:01,447
No way, man.
We said 300.
68
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:02,448
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
69
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:05,183
Hold up, Frodo and Frodette.
70
00:03:05,183 --> 00:03:06,552
Oh, burn!
71
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:09,087
Oh, yeah!
72
00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:10,622
Anyway, yeah, so I made some calls
73
00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:12,424
And, like, I could get you guys
74
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:14,626
Into what promises to be...
75
00:03:14,626 --> 00:03:16,928
Wait for it...
76
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:22,868
The best party of the decade
77
00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,135
Tomorrow night.
78
00:03:24,135 --> 00:03:25,737
We're listening.
No, thanks.
79
00:03:25,737 --> 00:03:27,839
Yeah.
No.
80
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:30,208
No.
Yeah.
81
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,611
Right.
Well, maybe you guys have heard
82
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:36,282
Of the Hollywood fucking hills.
83
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:39,451
Anyway, yeah, my boy's working
the door,
84
00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:42,588
And I can't go because, uh,
85
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:45,056
Well, I'm fucking both of your moms
86
00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:46,191
In the ass.
87
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,793
Oh, burn!
88
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,861
Oh, it burns so good.
89
00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:51,497
Jk, bro, jk.
90
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,199
I mean, this is probably going to be
91
00:03:54,199 --> 00:03:56,402
The most pussy there's ever been
92
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,970
In one place guaranteed.
93
00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,038
Oh, yeah?
94
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:02,308
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no B.S., bra.
95
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,810
Thanks for the offer, but we want the money.
96
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:07,245
The money?
97
00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:10,782
Okay. All right.
Hey, it's your call.
98
00:04:10,782 --> 00:04:12,050
I mean, I just thought maybe
you guys,
99
00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:14,085
Like, actually wanted to get laid
100
00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,554
And go to a party
101
00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:18,957
Before you graduate...
Or die.
102
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:20,158
Oh, double burn.
103
00:04:20,158 --> 00:04:21,293
Twice.
104
00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:24,262
Yeah, have fun staying at home
105
00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:26,865
With your whack pack of super
nerd shut-ins.
106
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:27,866
Oh!
107
00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:28,667
Doing whatever, man.
108
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,969
All right.
I'll get the cash.
109
00:04:30,969 --> 00:04:33,305
Wait!
110
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:37,676
An opportunity like this
111
00:04:37,676 --> 00:04:39,411
Only comes once in a lifetime.
112
00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:41,279
You let him gyp us out of $300.
113
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,548
How's that an opportunity?
114
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,416
It's time we stopped playing
video games.
115
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,218
We need to get some tail
physically, not digitally.
116
00:04:47,218 --> 00:04:49,388
We speak Elvish, okay?
117
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,389
Nobody even wants to be
118
00:04:50,389 --> 00:04:51,390
In the same time zone as us,
119
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:52,658
Let alone a Hollywood party.
120
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:54,393
I'm not going, man.
No way.
121
00:04:54,393 --> 00:04:56,795
Dude, don't take your blue
balls out on me
122
00:04:56,795 --> 00:04:59,264
Just because your girlfriend
locked her pussy up in Fort Knox
123
00:04:59,264 --> 00:05:00,799
And gave the key to Jesus.
124
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:01,767
Shut up, dude.
125
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:04,069
No, I'm not going alone.
You're going.
126
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:05,604
Well, then we're not going,
127
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:06,938
And we're out three bills,
128
00:05:06,938 --> 00:05:07,739
So that's great.
129
00:05:07,739 --> 00:05:10,442
Fine. I'll go with the clan.
130
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:13,044
The clan?
Yeah, let's see.
131
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,546
Kwan barely speaks English,
132
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:17,182
Marcus' condition doesn't allow
him to talk to girls,
133
00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:18,850
Doug's restraining order
134
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,852
Canvasses all of Los Angeles.
135
00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:23,455
I'm pretty sure that includes
the Hills.
136
00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:25,857
Look, I'm sick and tired
137
00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:27,459
Of you moping around all the time.
138
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:29,127
You need to get laid.
139
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:30,128
Whatever.
140
00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:32,063
No, no.
141
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:33,331
Just because my grandma
142
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:34,866
Has a better sex drive than
your girlfriend
143
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:37,202
Doesn't give you an excuse to
be a cock.
144
00:05:37,202 --> 00:05:38,604
Forget about my relationship.
145
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,071
Look, you're either going solo,
146
00:05:40,071 --> 00:05:41,072
Or you're not going at all.
147
00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,340
And if you do decide to go,
148
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:43,575
I'm gonna laugh my ass off
149
00:05:43,575 --> 00:05:45,977
When you get kicked out.
150
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,047
Speak of the devil and she appears.
151
00:05:49,047 --> 00:05:51,082
And in her mormon undergarments,
no less.
152
00:05:51,082 --> 00:05:52,384
Shut the fuck up, man.
153
00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:54,352
No, dude. It's time to draw a
line in the sand
154
00:05:54,352 --> 00:05:55,554
Or move on.
155
00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:56,888
Your virginity's not getting
any younger.
156
00:05:56,888 --> 00:05:58,223
You gonna finally have the talk?
157
00:05:58,223 --> 00:05:59,224
I've been trying.
158
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,258
Hey!
159
00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:01,259
Hello, Ed.
160
00:06:01,259 --> 00:06:02,428
Hey.
161
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,529
Loser.
162
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,730
Goodbye, Ed.
163
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:07,699
(Fantasy language)
164
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:10,936
Yeah.
So I was wondering.
165
00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:12,471
Maybe we could go to nona's tonight
166
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:14,473
And hang out with their youth
group for a while.
167
00:06:14,473 --> 00:06:16,642
I don't know, Kim.
168
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,910
What do you not know about?
169
00:06:20,278 --> 00:06:24,082
I think just maybe we should talk.
170
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,752
Okay. What's the matter?
171
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:27,986
The same thing that's been the matter
172
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,955
For the past three and a half years.
173
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:30,889
The sex thing again?
174
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,558
Look, I know it's a broken record.
175
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,293
It's just, I have to...
176
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:36,928
I have to lay down the law.
177
00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:38,430
The law?
178
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,131
I don't wanna go through
college a virgin.
179
00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:41,600
You know what?
180
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,535
Just go back to your porn stars
and your hand lotion.
181
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,936
Leave Emily Addison out of this.
182
00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:47,272
Ross, just met me at youth
group tonight.
183
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:48,674
Arghhhh!
184
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,678
Okay.
185
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:55,146
Maybe after, we could do some
under the clothes touching?
186
00:06:58,049 --> 00:06:59,651
If you're good.
187
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:03,755
All right.
See you later.
188
00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,156
Fuck!
189
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,461
Hey, get to work.
190
00:07:09,461 --> 00:07:11,329
I'm not paying you $4.99 a minute
191
00:07:11,329 --> 00:07:12,464
Just to get to know you better.
192
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:14,566
Hey, Doug, fuck you, okay?
193
00:07:14,566 --> 00:07:16,001
If you weren't our webmaster.
194
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:19,170
You'd probably be working at
a drive-through somewhere.
195
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:20,271
Burger boy.
196
00:07:20,271 --> 00:07:21,807
Hey, there is nothing in the law
197
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,609
That says I cannot spend money
where I work.
198
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,977
Now suck titty.
199
00:07:35,053 --> 00:07:37,589
Okay, ladies, let's slay us a dragon.
200
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:38,924
Kwan, sign on.
201
00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:43,028
Kwan-ho, let's go.
202
00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:45,330
Marcus?
203
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,331
Artemis at the ready.
204
00:07:46,331 --> 00:07:48,967
Let's go.
205
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:52,504
Look, I know I helped your ass-burgers
206
00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:54,506
To get into character, Balakas,
207
00:07:54,506 --> 00:07:55,941
But lay off the R.P.
208
00:07:57,576 --> 00:08:00,345
Hey, no, no, no.
209
00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:01,613
What are you doing?
You're pro.
210
00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:03,582
You don't need me to talk you
through this.
211
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:07,886
Fucking Doug.
212
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:10,488
Seriously, after the game, dude.
213
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:12,490
Look, my dick needs attention.
214
00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:14,760
Fat ass.
215
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,628
Oh, you wanna play?
216
00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:18,564
I can do that.
217
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:23,702
Time for a raid.
218
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,543
Shit.
219
00:08:31,543 --> 00:08:33,111
Take that, bitch!
220
00:08:44,455 --> 00:08:46,257
Marcus!
221
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:47,659
Hear me! Hear me!
222
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:48,994
Hear you? Aye.
223
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:53,832
Yeah!
224
00:08:56,735 --> 00:09:02,774
Aah! Ha ha ha!
225
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:10,849
Douglas J.K.
226
00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,723
That was hella funny.
227
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,691
Whoo! And I recorded that shit, too.
228
00:09:19,691 --> 00:09:22,828
Upload. That's gonna get so
many fucking views.
229
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,597
Fuck this! I'm gonna kick your
fat fucking ass.
230
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,198
Ladies, I just did an epic raid.
231
00:09:27,198 --> 00:09:28,934
Let's do this.
232
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:31,670
Is it beating fast for you, Gina?
233
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:32,838
Oh, yes, it is.
234
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,172
Get out here, snack boy.
235
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,340
You're about to get a long
overdue ass-whupping.
236
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,075
Oh!
Oh!
237
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:39,410
That fat ass will jerk off forever.
238
00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:40,846
Lick my dick.
239
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,981
Yes, lick kwan's penis, you dick.
240
00:09:42,981 --> 00:09:46,317
(Fantasy language)
241
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,089
No.
No.
242
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,093
You know, he's like your little brother
243
00:09:55,093 --> 00:09:58,797
That, like, never gets laid, you know?
244
00:09:58,797 --> 00:10:01,366
Oh... Oh...
Hey, what the fuck?
245
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:02,500
You're on the clock.
246
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,735
Not cool.
247
00:10:03,735 --> 00:10:06,404
You should never intentionally
wipe a raid.
248
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,806
I'm gonna report you to buck.
249
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,074
I'm the best webmaster
250
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,809
That the Porndarosa's got.
251
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,143
You gotta be nice to me.
252
00:10:12,143 --> 00:10:13,344
By the way, funboy,
253
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:17,415
Buck said that you better get
current on your bill
254
00:10:17,415 --> 00:10:19,751
Or he's gonna fire your ass.
255
00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:21,753
The last time buck fired someone,
256
00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:23,755
He literally fired a shot at them.
257
00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:26,257
At their ass.
258
00:10:26,257 --> 00:10:28,727
Log out.
259
00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:31,229
Hey, guys?
260
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:32,698
Guys?
261
00:10:35,233 --> 00:10:37,769
Guys? Look, I'm just fucking
around, guys.
262
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:40,238
Come on.
Porno's off. Let's go.
263
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:42,774
Guys?
264
00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:44,642
Damn that shit.
265
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,265
Whoo!
266
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,736
Whoo!
267
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:18,676
Play it cool, guys.
268
00:11:21,079 --> 00:11:23,081
What was I thinking?
We don't belong here.
269
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:24,515
Marcus, need a drink, man?
270
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:25,583
What do I do to get one?
271
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,352
Turn around.
Ask the waitress.
272
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:30,989
What can I get you?
273
00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:32,690
You don't need to get me anything,
274
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:33,959
I don't think.
275
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,761
Wait, maybe you do.
276
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,228
He'll have a Jack and coke.
277
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:52,677
Maybe we should split up.
278
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,179
We won't attract as much attention.
279
00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:55,080
Good idea.
280
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,282
The museum.
Come on.
281
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,957
I got enough data stored in
my spank bank
282
00:12:05,957 --> 00:12:07,392
To jerk off for the next four years.
283
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:08,927
Are you blind?
We gotta get out of here.
284
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:10,028
They know we're not supposed
to be here.
285
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:11,396
We're gonna get our asses kicked.
286
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:12,998
I'm fucking one of these chicks tonight.
You watch.
287
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,599
Get it through your head, Ed.
288
00:12:14,599 --> 00:12:15,867
No chicks are gonna touch us.
289
00:12:51,236 --> 00:12:52,871
She's not wearing any underwear.
290
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,072
I know.
291
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:58,810
Oh.
292
00:13:10,822 --> 00:13:12,858
Oh, God.
293
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,792
She's doing coke.
294
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,864
What does she want?
295
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,673
Oh, shit.
You scared me.
296
00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:30,675
How did you get in here?
297
00:13:30,675 --> 00:13:33,211
Oh, I, uh...
298
00:13:33,211 --> 00:13:34,545
It's okay, darling.
299
00:13:34,545 --> 00:13:37,916
Listen, you kind of caught me
white handed here,
300
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:41,319
So you know what that means.
301
00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,787
I'll give you a little bump.
302
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:44,555
No, thanks. I...
303
00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:46,357
Come on. It's good.
304
00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:48,894
Wait a minute. Wait.
You're Mellony Adams.
305
00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:51,829
You were in Thunder Run 3.
306
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:52,830
Holy shit.
307
00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,966
That piece of shit?
308
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:56,968
Oh, my God.
309
00:13:56,968 --> 00:14:00,171
You killed my sister.
310
00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:01,572
And now you have to...
311
00:14:01,572 --> 00:14:03,674
Face my wrath!
312
00:14:03,674 --> 00:14:06,244
Best catch phrase ever. Yeah!
313
00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:08,446
God, what...
No, no, no, no.
314
00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:13,118
Listen, you try to be typecast
at my age,
315
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:17,122
And you take every fricking
loathing line
316
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,526
And you try to make it into
this... Something.
317
00:14:21,526 --> 00:14:24,095
Except... Except...
318
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,830
For these lines.
319
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,568
Oh, man.
320
00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,872
Whoo! Damn!
Whoo-hoo!
321
00:14:34,872 --> 00:14:36,474
Try it.
322
00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:38,643
It's really good.
323
00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:45,416
Whoo!
324
00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:47,852
It's so good,
325
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:50,021
It make you wanna move,
doesn't it? Whoo!
326
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,489
No, it hurts.
327
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,262
Listen, what's your name?
328
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:58,063
Ed.
329
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,664
Oh, yeah? Ed?
330
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,202
I know we just met, Ed,
331
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:06,337
But would you like to drink
332
00:15:06,337 --> 00:15:09,574
A little champagne with me?
333
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:14,379
Whoo! Yeah!
334
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:35,566
You don't belong here, asshole.
335
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:37,468
I beg your pardon?
336
00:15:37,468 --> 00:15:40,105
He's talking to you, poindexter.
337
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:44,075
Look, we're gonna throw you
the fuck out
338
00:15:44,075 --> 00:15:45,543
Unless you do something for us.
339
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,378
Like what?
340
00:15:48,779 --> 00:15:50,715
Kind of hot in here, though.
341
00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:53,418
I think I'm overdressed.
342
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,420
Ed, could you help me with that, please?
343
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,356
Oh, that's no problem.
No problem.
344
00:15:58,356 --> 00:15:59,557
Here we go.
345
00:15:59,557 --> 00:16:02,227
Wow, my friends are never gonna
believe I did this.
346
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,794
This is fucking insane.
347
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:07,265
Well, it's good to get a little
crazy sometimes, darling.
348
00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:09,800
Yeah. This may be a little off subject,
349
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,237
But you haven't heard of any
of those new cell phones
350
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:15,273
That have cameras and record videos.
351
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:18,176
I don't know.
I must have one.
352
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:21,912
Oh, shut up and grab my rocking tits.
353
00:16:21,912 --> 00:16:24,082
That's what I call a catch phrase.
354
00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:26,084
Whoo!
Whoa!
355
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:28,786
Whoo!
356
00:16:28,786 --> 00:16:30,988
This is gonna be fun.
357
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:35,326
See that sizzling hot blonde
chick over there?
358
00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:41,099
The one next to that huge MMA
looking motherfucker.
359
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,034
Affirmative.
360
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,402
Here's what you're gonna do.
361
00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:48,373
You're gonna walk your puny
little ass over there,
362
00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:49,807
And you're gonna ask her,
363
00:16:49,807 --> 00:16:52,410
Can I get all up in that labe?
364
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,281
Labe? Are you referring
365
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:58,416
To that lady's labia majora?
366
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,651
Hey, we call it labe for short.
367
00:17:01,919 --> 00:17:05,123
Kwan.
368
00:17:06,591 --> 00:17:08,193
Oh, yes!
369
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,960
Yes, right there.
370
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,962
Oh! Oh, yes.
371
00:17:11,962 --> 00:17:14,499
Holy shit, you better be
recording this.
372
00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:15,700
What?
373
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,701
Nothing.
374
00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:21,272
Oh, yes, Ed.
375
00:17:21,272 --> 00:17:23,108
Teach my pussy.
376
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:25,443
Sex me, Ed.
377
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,145
Sex-Ed.
378
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:29,080
Teach my pussy.
379
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,449
Yeah!
380
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:33,651
♪ you know you gals, you kind of sexy ♪
381
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:35,586
♪ don't let no man tell you
that you ain't nothing ♪
382
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:36,921
♪ they're trying to abuse you ♪
383
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:38,223
♪ and make you feel like... ♪
384
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,925
♪ you can do way, way better
than that ♪
385
00:17:40,925 --> 00:17:42,093
♪ you can do way, way... ♪
386
00:17:42,093 --> 00:17:44,929
Oh, man, Ron's gonna fuck that
kid up.
387
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:47,265
No doubt.
388
00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:50,168
Um... Hello. Hi.
389
00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:52,570
Um, those gentlemen over there
390
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,872
Are asking me to ask you, um...
391
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:57,208
If I could get up in your labe.
392
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,076
Excuse me?
393
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,511
If I could get up in your labe.
394
00:18:00,511 --> 00:18:02,747
But I think they were referring
to you labia majora
395
00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,949
Or the fold of skin on the
outsides of your vagina
396
00:18:04,949 --> 00:18:06,217
Encasing the vulva.
397
00:18:06,217 --> 00:18:08,353
Oh, my fucking God.
398
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,420
Ron, did you hear
399
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,888
What he was just telling me?
400
00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:13,458
What's up, babe?
401
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,895
What?
402
00:18:17,895 --> 00:18:19,397
Aah!
403
00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:22,267
♪ from there, you can do way,
way better than that ♪
404
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:26,404
♪ you can do way, way better
than that ♪
405
00:18:26,404 --> 00:18:29,307
Pshht.
What a dick.
406
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:51,529
Motherfucker!
407
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:55,132
Shit, is that Mellony Adams?
408
00:18:55,132 --> 00:18:56,467
Aah!
409
00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,305
Oh, my God.
I fucked Mellony Adams,
410
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,339
And I have proof.
411
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:03,140
Best night of my fucking life.
412
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,176
Oh, my God. Wait until Doug
hears about this.
413
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:07,011
Roll up the window, man.
414
00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,146
What are you doing?
415
00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:12,317
Oh, my God. Marcus needs to
go to a hospital.
416
00:19:14,252 --> 00:19:15,420
You okay?
417
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,954
Did I get to see her labia?
418
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,693
I deem the knockout to be worth it.
419
00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:25,430
Dudes, we hung out with actual girls.
420
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,897
I'm glad you're okay.
421
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:29,400
He's okay.
He's okay. Whoo!
422
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,369
Best 300 bucks we've ever spent.
423
00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:33,704
Epic win!
Epic win!
424
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,039
Epic won.
425
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:37,442
♪ me and my wang ♪
426
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,577
♪ just hanging out on the porch ♪
427
00:19:39,577 --> 00:19:41,446
♪ drinking a beer ♪
428
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,814
♪ hand down my pants and doing
my thing ♪
429
00:19:43,814 --> 00:19:46,517
♪ I'm drinking a beer and
playing with my wang ♪
430
00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:50,154
♪ whoo hoo-hoo hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
431
00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:55,993
Oh, where the fuck you guys go?
432
00:19:55,993 --> 00:19:57,194
Oh, nowhere,
433
00:19:57,194 --> 00:20:00,064
Except the most epic party in history.
434
00:20:00,064 --> 00:20:02,267
Bam! Go ahead.
Take a look.
435
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:04,969
Wait. Is that...
436
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,471
Is that...
Mm-hmm.
437
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:07,938
Mellony motherfucking Adams.
438
00:20:07,938 --> 00:20:10,841
Maybe you've seen her before
in every movie ever made.
439
00:20:10,841 --> 00:20:12,977
I hope you enjoyed your
masturbatory evening
440
00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:14,745
In solitude, Douglas.
441
00:20:14,745 --> 00:20:15,546
Okay, fuck you guys.
442
00:20:15,546 --> 00:20:17,081
Why didn't you invite me?
443
00:20:17,081 --> 00:20:18,249
Next time don't ruin our raid.
444
00:20:18,249 --> 00:20:19,550
Maybe you'll get an invite.
445
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:23,488
Oh, I've gotta go to sleep.
446
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,622
I think I have a concussion,
447
00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,824
And I'm extremely inebriated.
448
00:20:26,824 --> 00:20:28,092
Me, too.
449
00:20:28,092 --> 00:20:30,828
Good night, dick.
450
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,968
All right, you guys got me.
451
00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:39,837
I'm a douchebag.
452
00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:40,771
I'm sorry...
453
00:20:40,771 --> 00:20:44,542
That you forgot your fucking phone.
454
00:20:44,542 --> 00:20:46,210
Oh!
455
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,647
You know, it'd be a goddamn shame
456
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:52,450
If this video were to somehow
make its way
457
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:55,453
To the worldwide web.
458
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:02,460
Holy fucking shit.
Did last night really happen?
459
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:05,262
Yes, it really happened.
460
00:21:05,262 --> 00:21:06,997
I boned Mellony Adams?
461
00:21:06,997 --> 00:21:08,165
Yep.
462
00:21:08,165 --> 00:21:10,267
And Kwan was there, too?
463
00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:18,409
I'm trying to eat.
464
00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:28,353
Yep. I got it all on my phone.
465
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:31,489
Look, you guys can watch it back
a million times if you want,
466
00:21:31,489 --> 00:21:33,223
But it has to stay between us, okay?
467
00:21:33,223 --> 00:21:34,825
We can get into a shitstorm
of trouble
468
00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:36,126
If anybody sees it.
469
00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:38,195
Fuck that. I want the world to
know what a stud I am.
470
00:21:38,195 --> 00:21:39,497
I boned Mellony Adams.
471
00:21:39,497 --> 00:21:41,499
It doesn't get any non-gayer
than that.
472
00:21:41,499 --> 00:21:43,233
I'd rather bang Halle Berry.
473
00:21:43,233 --> 00:21:45,102
Britney! Britney!
474
00:21:45,102 --> 00:21:46,504
Or Eva Mendez.
475
00:21:46,504 --> 00:21:48,138
Emily Addison.
476
00:21:48,138 --> 00:21:50,207
You guys are just jealous that
I dabbled the dipstick
477
00:21:50,207 --> 00:21:52,209
In some Hollywood cream-sashine.
478
00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:53,444
Okay, Ed, come on.
Seriously.
479
00:21:53,444 --> 00:21:54,445
Think about it, okay?
480
00:21:54,445 --> 00:21:55,446
We only got into that party
481
00:21:55,446 --> 00:21:56,447
Because of Delaney's buddy.
482
00:21:56,447 --> 00:21:57,882
We weren't really invited,
483
00:21:57,882 --> 00:22:00,117
So technically we can get arrested
for trespassing.
484
00:22:00,117 --> 00:22:05,022
Not to mention, we kind of filmed
a sex tape without consent,
485
00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:06,591
So there's always that.
486
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,192
What good is bonking a babe
487
00:22:08,192 --> 00:22:09,794
If I can't tell anybody?
488
00:22:09,794 --> 00:22:12,763
It's enough that we know, right?
489
00:22:16,734 --> 00:22:19,704
Oh, my God.
It is you. Sex-Ed.
490
00:22:19,704 --> 00:22:22,339
Oh, my God.
And you're Kwan-Zai.
491
00:22:22,339 --> 00:22:24,074
Oh, and you poor baby.
492
00:22:24,074 --> 00:22:25,209
Got your jaw broken
493
00:22:25,209 --> 00:22:26,744
Without having any of the fun.
494
00:22:26,744 --> 00:22:29,146
Actually, it's just a contusion
of the zygomatic bone
495
00:22:29,146 --> 00:22:32,082
With some secondary bruising
on the left mandible.
496
00:22:32,082 --> 00:22:34,485
Whatever.
497
00:22:34,485 --> 00:22:35,753
Well, we look forward
498
00:22:35,753 --> 00:22:38,022
To seeing more of you in action, stud.
499
00:22:40,057 --> 00:22:41,526
Come on.
500
00:22:43,494 --> 00:22:45,763
Fucking Doug!
501
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:50,468
Hey! Hey! Hey, dude.
502
00:22:50,468 --> 00:22:52,837
Hey. Hey. Hey.
503
00:22:54,505 --> 00:22:55,506
Hey, you!
504
00:22:55,506 --> 00:22:56,507
Hey, sweetie.
505
00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:57,642
What the heck, Ross?
506
00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:58,909
You don't answer my texts now?
507
00:22:58,909 --> 00:23:00,778
When? Oh, Nona's.
508
00:23:00,778 --> 00:23:03,347
Yeah, Nona's I waited there
for two hours
509
00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:04,348
Looking like a jerk.
510
00:23:04,348 --> 00:23:05,950
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
511
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,084
Let's do it tonight.
512
00:23:07,084 --> 00:23:08,285
I have study group.
513
00:23:08,285 --> 00:23:10,888
I promise I'll make it up to
you sometime, okay?
514
00:23:10,888 --> 00:23:12,156
Num-num!
515
00:23:14,224 --> 00:23:16,427
Bye.
Num-num.
516
00:23:16,427 --> 00:23:19,296
Dude, no one turns me away like that.
517
00:23:19,296 --> 00:23:20,297
Dude.
518
00:23:20,297 --> 00:23:22,299
You wanna try it again?
519
00:23:22,299 --> 00:23:23,501
Yeah, let's get back.
520
00:23:23,501 --> 00:23:24,969
Oh, man, did you moisturize
this morning?
521
00:23:24,969 --> 00:23:27,071
Yeah, every morning.
Of course I did.
522
00:23:31,742 --> 00:23:34,679
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
523
00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,781
Hold up. Hold up.
524
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:41,552
Doug, bend over so I can burn
your fucking balls.
525
00:23:41,552 --> 00:23:42,987
Oh, hey! Hey, man!
526
00:23:42,987 --> 00:23:44,421
She was about to stick her
whole foot in her mouth.
527
00:23:44,421 --> 00:23:46,190
You get on that Pornderosa
site right now
528
00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:47,424
And take down that video.
529
00:23:47,424 --> 00:23:49,594
I don't know what you're
talking about.
530
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,328
You post last night's sexcapade
531
00:23:51,328 --> 00:23:53,564
On a fucking porn site you work for.
532
00:23:56,066 --> 00:23:58,068
You figure that all out by yourself, Sherlock?
533
00:23:58,068 --> 00:24:01,405
But once again, you're only
half right.
534
00:24:01,405 --> 00:24:03,474
You see, a video of that great quality
535
00:24:03,474 --> 00:24:04,742
Deserves its own website
536
00:24:04,742 --> 00:24:06,844
So that everyone can see it
in all its glory,
537
00:24:06,844 --> 00:24:08,479
And I would hate to deprive people
538
00:24:08,479 --> 00:24:10,180
Of that now.
539
00:24:10,180 --> 00:24:13,050
I'm gonna shove that mouse
right down your fucking piehole
540
00:24:13,050 --> 00:24:14,719
If you don't take it down right now.
541
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:17,187
I'm afraid you douchebags
are a little too late.
542
00:24:17,187 --> 00:24:18,723
Check it out.
543
00:24:18,723 --> 00:24:20,858
You're an overnight celebrity,
my friend.
544
00:24:20,858 --> 00:24:24,294
Over three and a half million
hits and counting.
545
00:24:24,294 --> 00:24:26,463
Holy shit. Awesome!
546
00:24:26,463 --> 00:24:28,966
No, not awesome.
Take it down!
547
00:24:28,966 --> 00:24:29,767
Okay.
548
00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,335
That's it.
Get rid of this.
549
00:24:31,335 --> 00:24:34,171
No, no, no. I'm never gonna
get that kind of pussy again.
550
00:24:34,171 --> 00:24:36,574
Guys. Guys. Guys!
551
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,243
The God damn cat's out of the bag.
552
00:24:39,243 --> 00:24:41,478
This thing is viral.
553
00:24:43,814 --> 00:24:46,416
Hey, must be some of my fan club.
554
00:24:46,416 --> 00:24:47,585
Answer it, Marcus.
555
00:24:47,585 --> 00:24:49,554
Got to let them come to me.
556
00:24:55,459 --> 00:24:57,528
Like that, Satchmo?
557
00:24:57,528 --> 00:24:59,930
'Cause Vinny here,
558
00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:03,601
He can serve up sex real quick.
559
00:25:03,601 --> 00:25:05,202
All right, everybody over here now.
560
00:25:05,202 --> 00:25:07,404
Sit down. Come on.
561
00:25:07,404 --> 00:25:09,039
Sit down!
562
00:25:21,318 --> 00:25:23,588
Hmm.
563
00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:25,623
I don't know, Danny.
564
00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:28,593
Which one do you think is
the mastermind?
565
00:25:30,995 --> 00:25:34,999
It sure as hell ain't Jackie
Robinson over here.
566
00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,268
Or Jabba the Hut.
567
00:25:39,469 --> 00:25:41,038
Or Wang Chung.
568
00:25:44,541 --> 00:25:47,211
Maybe...
569
00:25:47,211 --> 00:25:50,114
Just maybe...
570
00:25:50,114 --> 00:25:53,117
It's the little prick who
fucked my client
571
00:25:53,117 --> 00:25:55,119
On the Internet.
572
00:25:56,486 --> 00:25:58,288
Maybe...
573
00:26:00,057 --> 00:26:02,827
Just maybe...
574
00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:07,331
The prick didn't know that
fucking my client
575
00:26:07,331 --> 00:26:10,234
Was like you're fucking me!
576
00:26:13,137 --> 00:26:14,739
You all right?
577
00:26:16,373 --> 00:26:17,742
You sure?
578
00:26:22,446 --> 00:26:24,448
Where are my manners?
579
00:26:24,448 --> 00:26:27,451
Huh?
580
00:26:27,451 --> 00:26:30,387
Was I raised in the woods?
581
00:26:30,387 --> 00:26:31,521
Mm-mmm.
582
00:26:31,521 --> 00:26:34,191
No.
583
00:26:34,191 --> 00:26:35,926
Well...
584
00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:40,130
Let me introduce myself.
585
00:26:41,298 --> 00:26:42,733
I'm Benny Silva.
586
00:26:42,733 --> 00:26:44,735
I'm a talent manager,
587
00:26:44,735 --> 00:26:48,038
And my client is Mellony Adams.
588
00:26:48,038 --> 00:26:51,709
You had sex with her against
her will,
589
00:26:51,709 --> 00:26:53,778
Recorded it and put it on the Internet.
590
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:54,912
It wasn't against her will.
591
00:26:54,912 --> 00:26:56,413
She totally wanted my rod.
592
00:26:56,413 --> 00:26:58,282
No speaking out of turn.
593
00:26:58,282 --> 00:27:00,818
Shut the fuck up!
594
00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:08,025
I could have all of you
arrested for trespassing,
595
00:27:08,025 --> 00:27:11,161
Making pornography against
the will of my client,
596
00:27:11,161 --> 00:27:12,429
Defamation.
597
00:27:12,429 --> 00:27:17,267
The list goes on and on.
598
00:27:17,267 --> 00:27:18,769
Hey, man, it was them.
599
00:27:18,769 --> 00:27:19,937
I had nothing to do with it.
600
00:27:19,937 --> 00:27:20,971
I wasn't even there.
Come on, brother.
601
00:27:20,971 --> 00:27:22,239
I had nothing to do with it...
602
00:27:22,239 --> 00:27:23,808
Shut up!
603
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,043
Then why was it uploaded
604
00:27:26,043 --> 00:27:28,445
From your fucking computer?
605
00:27:30,881 --> 00:27:35,085
Nobody likes a snitch.
606
00:27:36,553 --> 00:27:41,658
And I sure as hell don't want
to see
607
00:27:41,658 --> 00:27:45,295
A group of fine young men
like yourselves...
608
00:27:48,465 --> 00:27:51,468
Going to jail.
609
00:27:51,468 --> 00:27:55,840
So that's why I'm offering you
610
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,374
Another option.
611
00:27:57,374 --> 00:27:59,343
Whatever it is, we'll take it.
Anything.
612
00:28:01,879 --> 00:28:05,615
You are going to pay me a half
a million dollars
613
00:28:05,615 --> 00:28:07,051
In the next 30 days.
614
00:28:07,051 --> 00:28:10,220
Or you're going to end up
615
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:14,391
A bunch of pretty little
jailhouse bitches,
616
00:28:14,391 --> 00:28:17,862
Dead in a ditch,
617
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,064
Or both.
618
00:28:28,806 --> 00:28:32,442
Accidents happen.
619
00:28:53,764 --> 00:28:56,500
Oh, God, we're so fucked.
620
00:28:56,500 --> 00:28:58,135
It's not so bad.
621
00:28:58,135 --> 00:29:00,337
I mean, half a million sounds
like a lot,
622
00:29:00,337 --> 00:29:01,738
But there's five of us.
623
00:29:01,738 --> 00:29:03,673
We could donate blood.
624
00:29:03,673 --> 00:29:05,910
Or a kidney.
Black market kidneys
625
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:09,446
Sell for an average of $20,000.
626
00:29:09,446 --> 00:29:11,648
Unless you got 20 extra kidneys
stashed away,
627
00:29:11,648 --> 00:29:12,749
That ain't gonna work.
628
00:29:12,749 --> 00:29:14,919
We could rob a bank.
629
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:16,653
Rob a bank to not go to jail.
630
00:29:16,653 --> 00:29:18,055
Yeah, that's brilliant.
631
00:29:18,055 --> 00:29:21,258
Yeah, hey, at least I'm coming
up with ideas here.
632
00:29:21,258 --> 00:29:23,527
It's your great ideas that got
us into this in the first place.
633
00:29:23,527 --> 00:29:25,863
You could have stayed at home
with your girlfriend
634
00:29:25,863 --> 00:29:27,431
And not had sex again.
635
00:29:27,431 --> 00:29:29,433
No, fuck you.
Fuck you.
636
00:29:29,433 --> 00:29:30,968
No, fuck Kwan.
637
00:30:07,004 --> 00:30:08,873
Actually, I'm the one getting
screwed here.
638
00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:10,307
I'm just saying.
639
00:30:10,307 --> 00:30:14,144
Technically, I've sustained the
most serious injuries.
640
00:30:14,144 --> 00:30:16,881
Shut up. Everyone shut up please.
641
00:30:18,682 --> 00:30:20,150
Damn, if we were chicks,
642
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:22,319
We could strip our way to a
half million no problem.
643
00:30:22,319 --> 00:30:25,155
I'd make extra 'cause I
wouldn't shave my bush.
644
00:30:26,823 --> 00:30:31,495
What? It's a great way to half
a mil.
645
00:30:31,495 --> 00:30:33,864
Why not just go all the way
and make a porn?
646
00:30:33,864 --> 00:30:37,101
You could star in Hot & Hairy
Volume 69.
647
00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:38,835
That's it!
69.
648
00:30:38,835 --> 00:30:40,437
You gonna grow a vagina?
649
00:30:40,437 --> 00:30:42,239
No, dude,
650
00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:44,374
We can't strip our way to a
half million,
651
00:30:44,374 --> 00:30:46,310
But we can screw our way to it.
652
00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:47,978
We've just got to make more
sex tapes.
653
00:30:47,978 --> 00:30:49,846
That's the complete opposite
654
00:30:49,846 --> 00:30:51,148
Of what we should do.
655
00:30:51,148 --> 00:30:52,849
Dude, dude, all we have to do
656
00:30:52,849 --> 00:30:54,985
Is find some willing has-been
celebrities
657
00:30:54,985 --> 00:30:57,454
And convince them to have sex
on camera.
658
00:30:57,454 --> 00:30:59,423
It's insane exposure.
659
00:30:59,423 --> 00:31:01,691
All anyone's been talking
about all day
660
00:31:01,691 --> 00:31:02,960
Is Mellony Adams.
661
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,695
Just the pervs on campus, man.
662
00:31:05,695 --> 00:31:07,264
Not actually.
663
00:31:07,264 --> 00:31:09,233
I mean, she's trending pretty hard.
664
00:31:09,233 --> 00:31:11,501
Top five searches on the Internet.
665
00:31:12,970 --> 00:31:16,840
Okay. Why can't they just make
their own tapes?
666
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,342
I mean, why would they need us?
667
00:31:18,342 --> 00:31:19,876
'Cause we've got a proven
track record.
668
00:31:19,876 --> 00:31:21,011
Our video has...
669
00:31:21,011 --> 00:31:22,046
17 million.
670
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,914
17 million hits.
671
00:31:23,914 --> 00:31:26,650
Think about it.
Exposure.
672
00:31:26,650 --> 00:31:29,253
I don't know.
673
00:31:29,253 --> 00:31:31,755
Doug can set up the websites.
674
00:31:31,755 --> 00:31:33,823
We'll watch the cash roll in.
675
00:31:33,823 --> 00:31:35,225
I just...
676
00:31:35,225 --> 00:31:36,893
You got any better ideas?
677
00:31:37,761 --> 00:31:38,895
I didn't think so.
678
00:31:38,895 --> 00:31:41,698
Where can we find a chick
679
00:31:41,698 --> 00:31:42,832
That's desperate enough
680
00:31:42,832 --> 00:31:45,135
To bang her way back to fame?
681
00:31:47,871 --> 00:31:50,274
I know of a venue that will have
682
00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:53,243
Several of those female individuals
in attendance currently.
683
00:32:00,117 --> 00:32:01,918
There's Shelby Jones.
684
00:32:03,988 --> 00:32:05,255
She played a Valkyrie Berserker
685
00:32:05,255 --> 00:32:06,923
On Blood & Breath Swords,
686
00:32:06,923 --> 00:32:09,059
Seasons two through five.
687
00:32:11,595 --> 00:32:14,999
Dude, I'll totally Rragnarok
her world.
688
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:19,369
Hi, Mrs. Jones.
689
00:32:19,369 --> 00:32:21,471
I really like it in episode 312
690
00:32:21,471 --> 00:32:23,073
When you beheaded the evil hydro
691
00:32:23,073 --> 00:32:25,409
After drinking the invincibility potion.
692
00:32:25,409 --> 00:32:27,344
Thanks, kid.
693
00:32:27,344 --> 00:32:29,879
So you want an autograph or...
694
00:32:29,879 --> 00:32:31,381
Oh, will you have sexual intercourse
695
00:32:31,381 --> 00:32:33,117
With my friend Ed and allow
us to videotape it
696
00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:36,020
So that we can make money and pay
off someone who's blackmailing us?
697
00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:39,056
Christ. You little shits get
weirder every year.
698
00:32:39,056 --> 00:32:41,325
Sorry, sorry.
He's just joking.
699
00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:44,628
He's just acting out a scene
in episode 478.
700
00:32:44,628 --> 00:32:47,431
You know, when the evil prince
comes...
701
00:32:47,431 --> 00:32:49,866
That's crazy.
There's no episode...
702
00:32:49,866 --> 00:32:51,035
Shut up.
703
00:32:51,035 --> 00:32:52,969
It'll be a tremendous for
your career.
704
00:32:52,969 --> 00:32:55,972
Just let Ed and I do it, okay?
705
00:32:55,972 --> 00:32:57,241
You got to find the right chick,
706
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:59,743
One who's washed up.
707
00:33:02,212 --> 00:33:04,348
Desperate, but still kind of hot.
708
00:33:05,415 --> 00:33:09,053
Someone with a bit of a sexy
background.
709
00:33:11,655 --> 00:33:14,124
Forget it, man.
This isn't going to work.
710
00:33:14,124 --> 00:33:16,193
Let's just go pack for jail.
711
00:33:17,327 --> 00:33:18,462
Bingo!
712
00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:22,366
Jillian Baines.
713
00:33:22,366 --> 00:33:23,767
Lieutenant Commander Zolara
714
00:33:23,767 --> 00:33:25,635
On orient five seasons one
through four.
715
00:33:25,635 --> 00:33:27,771
Zolara was a completely
realistic android
716
00:33:27,771 --> 00:33:30,107
With six times the intensity
of normal human strength
717
00:33:30,107 --> 00:33:31,341
And telescopic vision.
718
00:33:31,341 --> 00:33:33,743
She died saving the starship
hyperion
719
00:33:33,743 --> 00:33:36,146
From a quantum singularity.
720
00:33:36,146 --> 00:33:38,282
Fascinating.
I've heard about her.
721
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:40,550
The show's creators killed her
character off
722
00:33:40,550 --> 00:33:43,019
After some nude photos of her
surfaced...
723
00:33:43,019 --> 00:33:44,154
Which I still own, by the way...
724
00:33:44,154 --> 00:33:46,423
Plus she is a total drunk.
725
00:33:46,423 --> 00:33:48,192
Never showed up to the set on time.
726
00:33:51,027 --> 00:33:54,164
Ahh... Yeah.
727
00:33:54,164 --> 00:33:55,699
What are you doing?
728
00:33:55,699 --> 00:33:58,435
Excuse me?
729
00:33:58,435 --> 00:34:01,171
Look at all these dried up
old hags
730
00:34:01,171 --> 00:34:02,539
Trying to cling to the last
bit of money
731
00:34:02,539 --> 00:34:05,475
They can make for a job they
did 10 years ago.
732
00:34:05,475 --> 00:34:08,478
But you...
You're in your prime.
733
00:34:08,478 --> 00:34:10,347
You just need the right opportunity.
734
00:34:10,347 --> 00:34:12,282
Are you trying to sell something?
735
00:34:12,282 --> 00:34:14,684
Because I can call security,
all right?
736
00:34:14,684 --> 00:34:17,154
You got to register three weeks
in advance
737
00:34:17,154 --> 00:34:19,223
If you wanna be a vendor here.
738
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,424
The only thing I'm trying to
sell you
739
00:34:20,424 --> 00:34:22,626
Is a chance to reinvigorate
your career.
740
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:28,132
Do you have an Uncle
741
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:30,066
That's the head of a studio
or something?
742
00:34:30,066 --> 00:34:32,669
Better. I'm the studio, the agent,
743
00:34:32,669 --> 00:34:34,504
And the costar.
744
00:34:34,504 --> 00:34:37,006
You ever heard of a little thing
called the Internet?
745
00:34:37,006 --> 00:34:38,842
Are you retarded?
746
00:34:38,842 --> 00:34:40,477
Like a fox.
747
00:34:40,477 --> 00:34:41,945
Did you see that little video
748
00:34:41,945 --> 00:34:43,213
With Mellony Adams?
749
00:34:43,213 --> 00:34:45,482
Yeah. It's blowing up everywhere.
750
00:34:45,482 --> 00:34:48,084
It's on TMZ, Entertainment Tonight,
Extra.
751
00:34:48,084 --> 00:34:50,420
Everybody's talking about it.
752
00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:53,823
I would kill for that kind of
coverage.
753
00:34:53,823 --> 00:34:55,024
You don't have to kill.
754
00:34:55,024 --> 00:34:56,826
I'm the guy in that video.
755
00:34:56,826 --> 00:34:58,962
You?
756
00:34:58,962 --> 00:35:00,297
Me.
757
00:35:00,297 --> 00:35:04,534
You know they're calling you
Sex-Ed on the blogs.
758
00:35:04,534 --> 00:35:06,203
Oh, yeah.
759
00:35:06,203 --> 00:35:09,339
So you're offering...
760
00:35:09,339 --> 00:35:11,575
A refresher course.
761
00:35:11,575 --> 00:35:13,410
Hmm.
762
00:35:18,782 --> 00:35:21,651
All right, I'll fuck you.
763
00:35:22,819 --> 00:35:27,491
But it's gonna take a lot of
liquid courage.
764
00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:32,496
Show's over.
765
00:35:40,737 --> 00:35:43,139
Aw, damn it. It's not the
right mount.
766
00:35:43,139 --> 00:35:45,642
Tripod shots are 75% steadier
than handheld,
767
00:35:45,642 --> 00:35:47,477
And that number goes up to 350%
768
00:35:47,477 --> 00:35:50,414
For shots zoomed in more than
four times.
769
00:35:50,414 --> 00:35:52,616
Shut up.
Get the lube.
770
00:35:59,823 --> 00:36:01,024
Ooh.
771
00:36:01,024 --> 00:36:03,727
You know, if Ed can't do this
whole thing by himself.
772
00:36:03,727 --> 00:36:07,197
I can always jump in and take
over, you know.
773
00:36:07,197 --> 00:36:09,299
Sorry, fat-ass.
This is a one-man show.
774
00:36:09,299 --> 00:36:11,067
Just get the website together, okay?
775
00:36:11,067 --> 00:36:12,302
All right, come on, guys.
776
00:36:12,302 --> 00:36:14,638
She's gonna be here any second.
Let's go.
777
00:36:20,977 --> 00:36:22,746
Hello.
778
00:36:22,746 --> 00:36:24,548
So...
779
00:36:24,548 --> 00:36:28,852
Who wants to fuck the hottest
robot in this quadrant? Huh?
780
00:36:28,852 --> 00:36:30,854
Huh? You?
781
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:32,088
Ooh.
782
00:36:32,088 --> 00:36:34,023
Somebody's ready to launch.
783
00:36:34,023 --> 00:36:36,159
Over here.
Over here!
784
00:36:36,159 --> 00:36:39,496
Oh, yes.
There's my stud.
785
00:36:39,496 --> 00:36:43,199
So you gonna fuck me like Mellony?
786
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:44,734
Are you?
787
00:36:44,734 --> 00:36:46,670
Hell, yeah.
788
00:36:50,139 --> 00:36:51,140
Action!
789
00:36:51,140 --> 00:36:53,042
I don't wanna film this.
790
00:36:53,042 --> 00:36:54,478
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
791
00:36:56,613 --> 00:37:01,084
My mission is to find out what
happens
792
00:37:01,084 --> 00:37:04,754
When you stick your probe balls
deep.
793
00:37:06,256 --> 00:37:08,157
Party time, space girl.
794
00:37:08,157 --> 00:37:10,694
Yeah. Huh?
795
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:17,534
Okay.
796
00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:20,236
Ooh, robot on robot sex
797
00:37:20,236 --> 00:37:22,839
Is hot and heavy.
798
00:37:22,839 --> 00:37:24,908
Oh, yeah, baby. Ooh.
799
00:37:24,908 --> 00:37:26,042
I was sent to study
800
00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:27,911
The sexual reproduction rituals
801
00:37:27,911 --> 00:37:29,613
Of your species.
802
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:31,915
Huh? I'm a fucking android.
803
00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:33,350
I don't have a species.
804
00:37:33,350 --> 00:37:35,184
Excuse me, but technically speaking,
805
00:37:35,184 --> 00:37:36,453
Androids can build other androids
806
00:37:36,453 --> 00:37:38,187
And therefore be classified
as a species.
807
00:37:38,187 --> 00:37:39,956
Get out of the shot.
808
00:37:39,956 --> 00:37:40,957
All right. All right.
809
00:37:40,957 --> 00:37:42,091
Where was I?
810
00:37:42,091 --> 00:37:44,193
Oh, yeah.
I was about to insert
811
00:37:44,193 --> 00:37:46,896
My hard disk into your V-Drive Unit.
812
00:37:48,465 --> 00:37:50,467
Oh, God.
813
00:37:50,467 --> 00:37:53,470
Next mission, you're gonna
drill for oil
814
00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:55,472
On the moon.
815
00:37:55,472 --> 00:37:56,806
Negative. Negative.
Negative.
816
00:37:56,806 --> 00:37:59,809
No, no. We are going to stick
to cave exploration
817
00:37:59,809 --> 00:38:01,077
On this expedition.
818
00:38:01,077 --> 00:38:03,413
Fine. Yeah, give it to me.
819
00:38:06,416 --> 00:38:07,784
You've penetrated.
820
00:38:07,784 --> 00:38:10,554
You've penetrated my force field.
821
00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,422
You're gonna have to make a
direct hit
822
00:38:12,422 --> 00:38:14,157
To make me cum. Yeah.
823
00:38:14,157 --> 00:38:16,025
Stay on target.
Stay on target.
824
00:38:16,025 --> 00:38:17,761
Aah! Aah! Aah!
825
00:38:17,761 --> 00:38:20,564
Ohh...
826
00:38:20,564 --> 00:38:22,766
Oh, God. Look at the size of
that thing.
827
00:38:24,901 --> 00:38:28,338
Kwan-Zai!
828
00:38:48,592 --> 00:38:50,594
Hey, Ross, it's Kim.
829
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,797
Uh, just calling to say hello.
830
00:38:55,799 --> 00:38:58,702
So where have you been,
silly goose?
831
00:38:58,702 --> 00:39:02,439
I've just, you know, been
worried sick about you,
832
00:39:02,439 --> 00:39:06,376
And, um... All right, well,
just call me
833
00:39:06,376 --> 00:39:09,713
When you're not too busy, I guess.
834
00:39:09,713 --> 00:39:11,581
Bye.
835
00:39:15,819 --> 00:39:17,821
Arghhhh!
836
00:39:20,990 --> 00:39:23,893
Holy fucking shit.
837
00:39:23,893 --> 00:39:27,163
Up to 17 million hits in only
three days.
838
00:39:27,163 --> 00:39:28,732
Unbelievable.
839
00:39:28,732 --> 00:39:31,267
Taking into account the exponential
nature of these videos
840
00:39:31,267 --> 00:39:33,637
With a minimal coefficient of 16.3,
841
00:39:33,637 --> 00:39:36,406
And now with two videos,
842
00:39:36,406 --> 00:39:37,507
If you refresh the screen,
843
00:39:37,507 --> 00:39:41,611
We should have 17,274,000 hits now.
844
00:39:47,684 --> 00:39:49,953
That mans with the advertising
revenue
845
00:39:49,953 --> 00:39:53,590
Growing at a rate of 14.43 per 300k,
846
00:39:53,590 --> 00:39:56,793
That we will be able to come
up with the money.
847
00:39:56,793 --> 00:39:59,195
We just need to keep producing
videos.
848
00:39:59,195 --> 00:40:00,329
We need to find some new girls.
849
00:40:00,329 --> 00:40:01,865
Where do we go to find them?
850
00:40:01,865 --> 00:40:04,067
Uh, guys.
851
00:40:04,067 --> 00:40:06,402
I don't think that's gonna be
a problem.
852
00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:04,127
We need to hang out more, Ross.
853
00:41:04,127 --> 00:41:06,596
I feel like I haven't seen you
in forever.
854
00:41:06,596 --> 00:41:09,065
Yeah, I know.
I've just been really busy
855
00:41:09,065 --> 00:41:11,635
With studying, school, and stuff,
you know.
856
00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,737
Yeah, well, you should come to
my study group.
857
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:16,072
I think it would really help
you concentrate.
858
00:41:16,072 --> 00:41:18,908
Like, I really don't see how
you get anything done
859
00:41:18,908 --> 00:41:22,111
Living in that house with a
bunch of losers.
860
00:41:24,514 --> 00:41:27,050
Ross?
861
00:41:27,050 --> 00:41:28,652
Ross?
862
00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:30,887
Have you heard anything I
just said?
863
00:41:30,887 --> 00:41:32,522
Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Studying.
864
00:41:32,522 --> 00:41:33,690
We can do that sometime.
865
00:41:33,690 --> 00:41:35,358
Yeah, look, I gotta get back
to work...
866
00:41:35,358 --> 00:41:37,994
Uh, studying for work.
867
00:41:37,994 --> 00:41:38,995
Okay.
868
00:41:38,995 --> 00:41:40,396
I gotta go, okay?
869
00:41:40,396 --> 00:41:42,532
Bye.
Yeah.
870
00:41:42,532 --> 00:41:44,534
Uh, Ross?
871
00:41:44,534 --> 00:41:46,903
Isn't it that way?
872
00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:49,238
Yeah.
Guess so.
873
00:41:49,238 --> 00:41:50,707
Thank you.
874
00:41:52,909 --> 00:41:56,045
Okay, so who's up to bat?
875
00:41:56,045 --> 00:41:59,949
Former reality TV personality
Debbie Ballard.
876
00:41:59,949 --> 00:42:01,851
She's the one that ate that
bull cock
877
00:42:01,851 --> 00:42:03,953
To win a challenge.
878
00:42:07,724 --> 00:42:10,627
Sorry, Kwan. She's actually
got a special request.
879
00:42:12,596 --> 00:42:15,398
Nope. Black.
880
00:42:15,398 --> 00:42:17,266
Classic mud shark.
881
00:42:19,435 --> 00:42:20,469
Marcus.
882
00:42:20,469 --> 00:42:21,738
I can't.
883
00:42:21,738 --> 00:42:23,272
Sure, you can.
It's easy.
884
00:42:23,272 --> 00:42:27,577
In, out, in, out, in, out.
885
00:42:27,577 --> 00:42:28,578
I can't do it.
886
00:42:28,578 --> 00:42:29,846
It's gonna be outside,
887
00:42:29,846 --> 00:42:31,347
So it'll help you with your
claustrophobia.
888
00:42:31,347 --> 00:42:33,382
We're actually going for some
better production value.
889
00:42:33,382 --> 00:42:35,284
Seriously, I don't think I can.
890
00:42:35,284 --> 00:42:36,886
You can and you will.
891
00:42:38,554 --> 00:42:41,057
Okay.
892
00:42:42,091 --> 00:42:44,093
Okay.
893
00:42:44,093 --> 00:42:45,895
Good.
894
00:42:45,895 --> 00:42:48,297
Better dust off your cock, Knave.
895
00:42:48,297 --> 00:42:49,298
You're on deck.
896
00:42:49,298 --> 00:42:51,567
No, not happening.
No way.
897
00:42:51,567 --> 00:42:53,803
Yes way.
898
00:42:53,803 --> 00:42:55,071
You know how much money we'd make
899
00:42:55,071 --> 00:42:57,506
If you lost your cherry on camera?
900
00:42:57,506 --> 00:43:00,176
Virgins are big business, dude.
901
00:43:00,176 --> 00:43:01,510
Like, I don't care.
902
00:43:01,510 --> 00:43:02,846
Look, I don't mind helping
you guys out,
903
00:43:02,846 --> 00:43:06,616
But I will never, ever have
sex on camera, okay?
904
00:43:06,616 --> 00:43:08,017
Shut the fuck up, you two.
905
00:43:08,017 --> 00:43:10,754
We're gonna be late for
Marcus' scene.
906
00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:13,356
It's time to build the course.
907
00:43:17,961 --> 00:43:20,997
Challenger, in order to win this,
908
00:43:20,997 --> 00:43:23,900
You must up that bucket with water.
909
00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:26,736
That doesn't sound hard.
910
00:43:26,736 --> 00:43:28,337
You have 30 seconds
911
00:43:28,337 --> 00:43:30,874
While I shoot at you with a
paintball gun.
912
00:43:32,308 --> 00:43:33,476
Go!
913
00:43:33,476 --> 00:43:34,510
Ow! Ow!
914
00:43:34,510 --> 00:43:36,680
Ow! Ow! Oh, God!
915
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,347
Move it, you loser.
916
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:42,618
I'm coming.
917
00:43:45,354 --> 00:43:46,355
Move it!
918
00:43:46,355 --> 00:43:47,590
I'm coming. Oh, God.
919
00:43:47,590 --> 00:43:49,759
I'm coming.
Come on!
920
00:43:49,759 --> 00:43:51,227
Come on, you pussy!
921
00:43:55,031 --> 00:43:56,165
Hey!
922
00:43:56,165 --> 00:43:57,734
I'm coming.
923
00:43:58,768 --> 00:44:01,104
I'm coming.
Four!
924
00:44:01,104 --> 00:44:02,038
One!
925
00:44:05,809 --> 00:44:07,176
You did it!
926
00:44:14,250 --> 00:44:16,019
Come claim your prize.
927
00:44:16,019 --> 00:44:17,821
Okay.
928
00:44:18,788 --> 00:44:21,490
Time to go head first.
929
00:44:21,490 --> 00:44:22,992
Yeah!
930
00:44:22,992 --> 00:44:24,193
Whoa.
931
00:44:24,193 --> 00:44:27,731
That's it.
Munch away, brother.
932
00:44:27,731 --> 00:44:29,799
Like mashed potatoes and gravy.
933
00:44:29,799 --> 00:44:32,001
Oh! Oh, yeah.
934
00:44:32,001 --> 00:44:33,937
I can't breathe.
935
00:44:33,937 --> 00:44:36,339
My pussy's got all the oxygen
you need.
936
00:44:36,339 --> 00:44:38,374
Actually, there's only 6.8
ounces of oxygen
937
00:44:38,374 --> 00:44:39,809
In the average vagina.
938
00:44:39,809 --> 00:44:41,210
That would last a man my size
939
00:44:41,210 --> 00:44:44,147
About 12 uninterrupted
minutes theoretically.
940
00:44:44,147 --> 00:44:45,248
Shut up!
941
00:44:46,282 --> 00:44:49,052
Yeah! Yeah!
942
00:44:50,553 --> 00:44:53,122
Aah! I'm gonna blow!
943
00:44:53,122 --> 00:44:53,923
What?
944
00:44:53,923 --> 00:44:57,026
I'm a squirter. Yeah!
945
00:44:57,827 --> 00:45:00,964
Aah! Aah!
946
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,365
Aah!
947
00:45:07,837 --> 00:45:09,472
My inhaler.
948
00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:10,740
My inhaler.
949
00:45:10,740 --> 00:45:12,008
My inhaler.
950
00:45:13,442 --> 00:45:14,643
So is she.
951
00:45:14,643 --> 00:45:17,380
My inhaler!
952
00:45:19,648 --> 00:45:21,217
Oh, my God.
That's that guy.
953
00:45:21,217 --> 00:45:22,651
That's Ed.
954
00:45:22,651 --> 00:45:24,387
I heard he boned Raven Simone.
955
00:45:24,387 --> 00:45:25,822
Yeah?
Yeah.
956
00:45:25,822 --> 00:45:27,090
And tea-bagged Meg Ryan.
957
00:45:27,090 --> 00:45:28,324
Fuck, yeah.
958
00:45:28,324 --> 00:45:30,693
I mean, you got to make sure
to moisturize.
959
00:45:30,693 --> 00:45:32,028
It's the most important thing.
960
00:45:32,028 --> 00:45:34,463
Dude, I only use lotion for
when I masturbate.
961
00:45:34,463 --> 00:45:36,866
Dude, you're not even capitalizing
962
00:45:36,866 --> 00:45:38,134
On what lotion can do.
963
00:45:38,134 --> 00:45:39,468
I mean, dude, check out my muscles.
964
00:45:39,468 --> 00:45:40,636
Let me get some of that.
965
00:45:40,636 --> 00:45:42,038
Get some.
Get on that.
966
00:45:42,038 --> 00:45:44,040
Why would you even be waiting
on anything?
967
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,541
I mean, just do it.
968
00:45:45,541 --> 00:45:48,411
Right?
969
00:45:48,411 --> 00:45:49,545
So soft and...
970
00:45:49,545 --> 00:45:50,579
Ed!
971
00:45:50,579 --> 00:45:51,647
Ed, dude!
972
00:45:51,647 --> 00:45:53,416
What's up, brah?
Come here.
973
00:45:53,416 --> 00:45:55,651
Yeah, bring it in, Ed.
Bring it in.
974
00:45:55,651 --> 00:45:56,719
Yeah, what's...
975
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:58,154
Hey. Oh, dude,
976
00:45:58,154 --> 00:45:59,789
You should come by the house
tonight.
977
00:45:59,789 --> 00:46:01,891
Oh, man, it's going to be a rager.
978
00:46:01,891 --> 00:46:03,692
Oh, man, we're gonna have kegs,
979
00:46:03,692 --> 00:46:05,428
Drugs.
980
00:46:05,428 --> 00:46:06,529
Sluts. Sluts.
981
00:46:06,529 --> 00:46:07,797
Definitely sluts.
982
00:46:07,797 --> 00:46:09,198
All right,
983
00:46:09,198 --> 00:46:12,768
Who's the next contestant on
"Fuck Me Famous"?
984
00:46:15,071 --> 00:46:17,173
We're still getting a shit ton
of fucking emails.
985
00:46:17,173 --> 00:46:19,742
I just got one from a Liz Cooper.
986
00:46:19,742 --> 00:46:21,010
Liz Cooper played Coach Shearson
987
00:46:21,010 --> 00:46:22,912
In seasons two and three of
Hoops High.
988
00:46:22,912 --> 00:46:25,281
Okay.
Uh, Katie Mayer.
989
00:46:25,281 --> 00:46:27,016
Katie Mayer played Janey the
secretary
990
00:46:27,016 --> 00:46:28,852
On the first season of Chicago
Sons.
991
00:46:28,852 --> 00:46:30,619
Holy shit.
992
00:46:30,619 --> 00:46:33,823
She just sent us a nice little
photo of herself here.
993
00:46:38,394 --> 00:46:39,595
Look at that ass.
994
00:46:39,595 --> 00:46:40,629
Marcus!
Ross?
995
00:46:40,629 --> 00:46:42,198
Asperger.
Uh, Marcus?
996
00:46:42,198 --> 00:46:43,833
You're acting really weird today.
997
00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:46,102
Did you take your medicine?
998
00:46:46,102 --> 00:46:47,236
What, nothin'.
Oh, hi.
999
00:46:47,236 --> 00:46:48,872
Hey, babe, what's going on?
1000
00:46:50,273 --> 00:46:51,340
Hi.
1001
00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,576
Uh, what's going on here, Ross?
1002
00:46:53,576 --> 00:46:56,379
Oh, just hangin' out.
1003
00:46:56,379 --> 00:46:57,780
Bein' dudes.
1004
00:46:57,780 --> 00:46:59,615
Looking at dirty porno on the
Internet.
1005
00:47:00,616 --> 00:47:02,218
Jk, no we're not.
1006
00:47:02,218 --> 00:47:05,388
We're playing card games and such.
1007
00:47:08,257 --> 00:47:11,427
Oh, well, well.
What have we here?
1008
00:47:11,427 --> 00:47:14,030
Looks like our friend Jillian
Bane
1009
00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:17,100
Just got a series regular gig
on the new CSI: Jersey.
1010
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,301
She's going to be playing
1011
00:47:18,301 --> 00:47:21,604
A junkie hooker-slash-police
informant.
1012
00:47:21,604 --> 00:47:22,939
Huh. Wow.
1013
00:47:22,939 --> 00:47:24,707
She went from not working for
the past six years
1014
00:47:24,707 --> 00:47:28,044
To getting a series regular gig
on a big network show.
1015
00:47:28,044 --> 00:47:31,480
Wonder what caused that, Ross.
1016
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,681
What?
I wouldn't know.
1017
00:47:32,681 --> 00:47:33,849
I don't know.
1018
00:47:33,849 --> 00:47:35,251
Yeah, um...
1019
00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:38,621
Ross, can I talk to you outside?
1020
00:47:38,621 --> 00:47:39,923
Of course.
1021
00:47:43,626 --> 00:47:45,294
Dick.
1022
00:47:45,294 --> 00:47:48,031
Hey, if I'm not getting laid,
nobody is.
1023
00:47:52,735 --> 00:47:55,071
So, uh, what's going on?
1024
00:47:55,071 --> 00:47:56,439
You're not answering my texts,
1025
00:47:56,439 --> 00:47:57,974
Your phone goes straight to
voicemail.
1026
00:47:57,974 --> 00:47:59,943
I mean, if I didn't know any
better,
1027
00:47:59,943 --> 00:48:02,845
It's like you're trying to
avoid me.
1028
00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:04,313
No. I'm not...
1029
00:48:04,313 --> 00:48:05,414
I don't know.
1030
00:48:05,414 --> 00:48:07,450
I've just been really busy with,
you know,
1031
00:48:07,450 --> 00:48:10,819
School and studying and other
stuff.
1032
00:48:10,819 --> 00:48:13,256
But, hey,
1033
00:48:13,256 --> 00:48:15,624
You know you're the most
important thing to me, right?
1034
00:48:15,624 --> 00:48:17,860
Right?
1035
00:48:17,860 --> 00:48:20,229
I'm sorry I've been a bit
distant lately.
1036
00:48:22,165 --> 00:48:24,767
Um, I was on the hill just now
and I saw Ed,
1037
00:48:24,767 --> 00:48:26,202
And, you know, palling around
1038
00:48:26,202 --> 00:48:29,072
With, um, Delaney Mulroy and,
um...
1039
00:48:29,072 --> 00:48:31,174
Anyways, he gave me a letter
for you,
1040
00:48:31,174 --> 00:48:33,776
Told me to give it to you.
1041
00:48:33,776 --> 00:48:35,178
Really?
1042
00:48:39,348 --> 00:48:41,417
"Ross dog, sex ed here.
1043
00:48:41,417 --> 00:48:44,320
"I'm taking a little vacation
from fucking on camera.
1044
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:45,521
"Me and Delaney are going to
slay
1045
00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:47,190
"Some sorority gash all weekend.
1046
00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:49,225
"But the show must go on.
1047
00:48:49,225 --> 00:48:51,327
"We've only got 200k left to
make.
1048
00:48:51,327 --> 00:48:52,962
"So make sure to shoot a few
videos.
1049
00:48:52,962 --> 00:48:54,430
"Man up, brah!
1050
00:48:54,430 --> 00:48:55,431
Sex Ed, out."
1051
00:48:55,431 --> 00:48:56,665
Oh, fuck.
1052
00:48:56,665 --> 00:48:58,434
Hey, watch your language.
1053
00:48:58,434 --> 00:48:59,602
Sorry.
1054
00:49:01,470 --> 00:49:04,207
Hey, I'm gonna skip my third
period psych class.
1055
00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:05,774
Do you want to go grab a bite
to eat?
1056
00:49:05,774 --> 00:49:07,043
Yes.
1057
00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:08,477
Fuck, yeah.
Me, too.
1058
00:49:08,477 --> 00:49:10,013
I'm starving.
1059
00:49:10,013 --> 00:49:14,250
Get some. Get some.
Yeah.
1060
00:49:14,250 --> 00:49:16,452
Come on, dawg.
Kill it.
1061
00:49:16,452 --> 00:49:18,721
I can do this.
I'm the game master.
1062
00:49:18,721 --> 00:49:19,755
I got this.
Oh, come on.
1063
00:49:21,557 --> 00:49:22,992
Hi, guys.
1064
00:49:22,992 --> 00:49:24,560
Is now a good time?
1065
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,329
Well, can't you see that I am
bus...
1066
00:49:31,334 --> 00:49:33,302
Ahh.
1067
00:49:33,302 --> 00:49:34,103
Well...
1068
00:49:34,103 --> 00:49:35,804
Hi.
Ohh.
1069
00:49:35,804 --> 00:49:38,507
Isn't this special? Huh.
1070
00:49:38,507 --> 00:49:43,279
We got the whole fucking band
here.
1071
00:49:43,279 --> 00:49:46,049
Ross and the skid marks.
1072
00:49:46,049 --> 00:49:47,983
Now, you...
1073
00:49:47,983 --> 00:49:51,654
Got some really big, hairy balls.
1074
00:49:51,654 --> 00:49:53,989
To keep taking advantage
1075
00:49:53,989 --> 00:49:56,792
Of those desperate girls on
videotape.
1076
00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:58,194
No, no, no, Danny.
1077
00:49:58,194 --> 00:50:00,729
Uh, "Mr. Silver."
1078
00:50:00,729 --> 00:50:03,099
Mr. Silver, look, they...
1079
00:50:03,099 --> 00:50:04,667
They're contacting us, okay?
1080
00:50:04,667 --> 00:50:07,236
We've got all these low-rent
actresses emailing us.
1081
00:50:07,236 --> 00:50:10,005
Now, Mr. Silver, he's lying,
1082
00:50:10,005 --> 00:50:11,240
Your majesty.
1083
00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:13,109
I saw Ross talk to a girl.
I did.
1084
00:50:13,109 --> 00:50:15,078
Jillian Banes at the comic
convention.
1085
00:50:15,078 --> 00:50:17,246
I know. I know.
1086
00:50:17,246 --> 00:50:20,983
Now, that drunk bitch's career
ended years ago.
1087
00:50:20,983 --> 00:50:23,552
She was already dead in the water.
1088
00:50:23,552 --> 00:50:26,455
Nobody was ever going to cast
her again in anything.
1089
00:50:26,455 --> 00:50:30,426
Not until the whole world sees
1090
00:50:30,426 --> 00:50:36,332
Her getting her cyborg bush
plowed online.
1091
00:50:36,332 --> 00:50:38,434
It's kind of weird, I know.
1092
00:50:38,434 --> 00:50:39,968
Mmm...
1093
00:50:39,968 --> 00:50:43,739
So that's why you shit stains
1094
00:50:43,739 --> 00:50:49,545
Are going to keep making your
videos with my new clients.
1095
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,349
Oh, there's no need to worry,
fellas,
1096
00:50:53,349 --> 00:50:56,452
There's enough to go around,
okay?
1097
00:50:56,452 --> 00:50:59,488
Yes.
1098
00:50:59,488 --> 00:51:01,724
And the muff scuba diver,
1099
00:51:01,724 --> 00:51:04,593
You're going to get another
chance.
1100
00:51:06,762 --> 00:51:08,431
Ichiro,
1101
00:51:08,431 --> 00:51:11,667
Get ready to get back in the
game, son.
1102
00:51:11,667 --> 00:51:16,038
And even your dungeon master's
high-cholesterol ass
1103
00:51:16,038 --> 00:51:19,975
Is getting on the pussy treadmill.
1104
00:51:19,975 --> 00:51:21,277
What does that even mean?
1105
00:51:21,277 --> 00:51:22,911
Oh, yeah.
1106
00:51:22,911 --> 00:51:24,413
And your cameraman,
1107
00:51:24,413 --> 00:51:26,982
He'll have to dip his wick, too.
1108
00:51:26,982 --> 00:51:28,884
That's a fucking promise.
1109
00:51:28,884 --> 00:51:30,353
The chat room trolls
1110
00:51:30,353 --> 00:51:34,390
Are suckers for lily white
virgins.
1111
00:51:35,391 --> 00:51:36,592
Ross?
1112
00:51:36,592 --> 00:51:40,296
Oh, now, what do we have here?
1113
00:51:42,097 --> 00:51:43,466
Hi. Kim.
1114
00:51:43,466 --> 00:51:46,535
Mmm. I'm Ross' old friend, Danny.
1115
00:51:49,037 --> 00:51:51,106
You're very, very attractive.
1116
00:51:51,907 --> 00:51:53,041
Are you an actress?
1117
00:51:53,041 --> 00:51:54,443
No.
1118
00:51:54,443 --> 00:51:57,780
Have you done any acting, uh...
1119
00:51:57,780 --> 00:51:59,081
Online?
1120
00:51:59,081 --> 00:52:00,983
Look, that's enough.
1121
00:52:00,983 --> 00:52:04,553
Oh, she's more than enough.
1122
00:52:04,553 --> 00:52:07,856
I'd really love to stay and
chat a while,
1123
00:52:07,856 --> 00:52:10,058
But I must get going.
1124
00:52:10,058 --> 00:52:12,161
Kim, huh?
1125
00:52:12,161 --> 00:52:13,362
I'll be in touch.
1126
00:52:15,264 --> 00:52:17,233
You start tomorrow.
1127
00:52:18,534 --> 00:52:20,269
Tomorrow?
1128
00:52:20,269 --> 00:52:22,070
Start what?
1129
00:52:22,070 --> 00:52:23,138
What? Uh...
1130
00:52:23,138 --> 00:52:24,307
What was that?
1131
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,941
Uh, we don't really know him.
1132
00:52:25,941 --> 00:52:27,843
He's just one of Ed's friends.
1133
00:52:27,843 --> 00:52:30,279
He seems like a real slime ball.
1134
00:52:30,279 --> 00:52:32,080
Okay, can we go eat now?
1135
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,616
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1136
00:52:33,616 --> 00:52:34,850
Okay, okay.
1137
00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:40,055
Holy shit, man.
Was he for real?
1138
00:52:40,055 --> 00:52:41,724
He's trying to Jack us for our
fucking sex tapes.
1139
00:52:41,724 --> 00:52:44,026
With his own docket of
unemployed entertainers.
1140
00:52:44,026 --> 00:52:45,328
This could be bad.
1141
00:52:45,328 --> 00:52:46,962
Never thought I'd say this, guys,
1142
00:52:46,962 --> 00:52:49,632
But I think we need Ed back.
1143
00:52:51,267 --> 00:52:52,835
Guys,
1144
00:52:52,835 --> 00:52:55,238
I peed my pants again.
1145
00:52:57,606 --> 00:53:00,008
She's here.
Who is it?
1146
00:53:00,008 --> 00:53:01,344
It's Meg Lingbren,
1147
00:53:01,344 --> 00:53:02,545
The actress that played Natalie
Bernard
1148
00:53:02,545 --> 00:53:04,280
On the show Sin City P.D.
1149
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,915
Oh, yeah.
I remember that show.
1150
00:53:06,915 --> 00:53:08,651
Holy shit.
1151
00:53:08,651 --> 00:53:10,586
Oh, my God, is it that Showgirl?
1152
00:53:10,586 --> 00:53:11,854
Uh, no.
1153
00:53:11,854 --> 00:53:14,189
The hot detective?
1154
00:53:14,189 --> 00:53:15,991
No.
1155
00:53:15,991 --> 00:53:17,293
What?
1156
00:53:17,293 --> 00:53:18,794
Who is...
1157
00:53:20,996 --> 00:53:22,231
It's not the...
1158
00:53:22,231 --> 00:53:23,799
It's the chief.
1159
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,370
How's it goin'?
1160
00:53:27,370 --> 00:53:31,340
So, which one of you boys is
gonna fuck me?
1161
00:53:31,340 --> 00:53:33,376
Answer, answer.
1162
00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:35,744
Ed, answer, answer, answer.
1163
00:53:35,744 --> 00:53:37,313
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1164
00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:40,283
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1165
00:53:40,283 --> 00:53:42,751
Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!
1166
00:53:42,751 --> 00:53:43,952
Sex Ed's phone!
1167
00:53:43,952 --> 00:53:45,254
Ed!
1168
00:53:45,254 --> 00:53:47,022
No, no, no, this is Delaney!
1169
00:53:47,022 --> 00:53:48,457
This is Delaney!
1170
00:53:48,457 --> 00:53:50,493
Sex Ed's busy pounding some
brew dogs!
1171
00:53:50,493 --> 00:53:52,961
Put him on the phone, Delaney!
It's important!
1172
00:53:52,961 --> 00:53:54,763
All right, all right.
1173
00:53:58,233 --> 00:53:59,635
Shit!
1174
00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:02,971
There's only one thing to do,
guys.
1175
00:54:02,971 --> 00:54:04,773
What?
Put 'em up.
1176
00:54:04,773 --> 00:54:06,008
Okay.
1177
00:54:06,008 --> 00:54:07,776
One, two, three.
1178
00:54:07,776 --> 00:54:09,044
Oh! God damn it!
1179
00:54:09,044 --> 00:54:10,178
Okay, okay, okay.
1180
00:54:10,178 --> 00:54:11,179
One, two, three.
1181
00:54:11,179 --> 00:54:12,214
Motherfucker.
1182
00:54:12,214 --> 00:54:13,316
Yeah, okay.
1183
00:54:13,316 --> 00:54:15,618
One, two, three.
1184
00:54:15,618 --> 00:54:17,520
Yes.
1185
00:54:22,090 --> 00:54:23,526
Take all the time you need, man.
1186
00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:25,060
It's okay.
It's all right.
1187
00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:51,987
Son, it must be late there.
1188
00:54:51,987 --> 00:54:53,055
What's the matter?
1189
00:54:56,892 --> 00:55:00,363
They're with you always in your heart.
1190
00:55:01,630 --> 00:55:05,734
Through the most troubling times.
1191
00:55:08,771 --> 00:55:09,805
Kwan.
1192
00:55:56,151 --> 00:55:58,253
It's our biggest hit yet.
1193
00:55:58,253 --> 00:56:01,289
I guess people like seeing you
have giant knee-shooter jugs
1194
00:56:01,289 --> 00:56:02,825
Block out the sun.
1195
00:56:02,825 --> 00:56:04,860
This isn't cool, man.
I mean, look at Kwan.
1196
00:56:05,761 --> 00:56:07,896
Now, we've gotta call the cops.
1197
00:56:07,896 --> 00:56:10,833
Impossible. Marcus, how much
are we short?
1198
00:56:10,833 --> 00:56:15,504
$171,453.44.
1199
00:56:15,504 --> 00:56:17,239
We fucked our way into the tunnel,
1200
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:18,641
And now we can see some light.
1201
00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:21,343
Yeah, whatever you say, Sex Ed.
1202
00:56:21,343 --> 00:56:22,945
What's that supposed to mean?
1203
00:56:23,979 --> 00:56:27,550
Wait. D-bag Silver just emailed
us.
1204
00:56:27,550 --> 00:56:30,052
We got another client.
1205
00:56:30,052 --> 00:56:31,186
Who is it?
1206
00:56:31,186 --> 00:56:32,621
Oh, this should be interesting.
1207
00:56:32,621 --> 00:56:34,890
Says here plushy fetish.
1208
00:56:34,890 --> 00:56:36,459
I got this.
1209
00:56:36,459 --> 00:56:37,726
Yeah, yeah totally.
1210
00:56:37,726 --> 00:56:39,628
Show us how it's done, Sex Ed.
1211
00:56:39,628 --> 00:56:41,730
I will, virgin.
1212
00:56:41,730 --> 00:56:44,332
Fuck me, Bucky!
Fuck me!
1213
00:56:44,332 --> 00:56:47,035
Yeah! Yeah, dick me, Bucky.
1214
00:56:47,035 --> 00:56:48,471
Dick me, dick me!
1215
00:56:48,471 --> 00:56:50,105
I'm gonna dick you!
1216
00:56:50,105 --> 00:56:51,306
Bucky, fuck me!
1217
00:56:51,306 --> 00:56:52,908
Oh, she's got some serious issues.
1218
00:56:52,908 --> 00:56:54,510
She played cheerleader Abby
Collins
1219
00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:56,211
On Lakeway Heights for six seasons.
1220
00:56:56,211 --> 00:56:59,114
After the show was canceled,
she played another cheerleader,
1221
00:56:59,114 --> 00:57:03,285
Darcy Cummings, on Thousand
Palms for four seasons.
1222
00:57:03,285 --> 00:57:05,220
Yeah, I love it when you talk
dirty to me.
1223
00:57:05,220 --> 00:57:06,388
Talk dirty to me.
1224
00:57:06,388 --> 00:57:08,390
Okay, um...
1225
00:57:08,390 --> 00:57:09,525
You like bucky, bitch?
1226
00:57:09,525 --> 00:57:11,494
No!
No?
1227
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:13,562
No, say it like Bucky.
1228
00:57:13,562 --> 00:57:14,797
Say it like Bucky.
1229
00:57:14,797 --> 00:57:17,566
You like Bucky, bitch?
1230
00:57:17,566 --> 00:57:20,135
No, chirp like a chipmunk!
1231
00:57:20,135 --> 00:57:21,670
Chirp, motherfucker!
Chirp!
1232
00:57:21,670 --> 00:57:24,439
Yeah! Yeah!
1233
00:57:26,174 --> 00:57:28,644
Dude.
1234
00:57:33,582 --> 00:57:35,317
Yeah!
1235
00:57:35,317 --> 00:57:36,585
Fuck me, Bucky.
1236
00:57:36,585 --> 00:57:38,921
Fuck me! Yeah!
1237
00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:42,758
Yeah, dick me, Bucky!
Dick me! Dick me!
1238
00:57:42,758 --> 00:57:45,528
Ross, Kim's at the door.
1239
00:57:45,528 --> 00:57:46,895
Ross, Kim's at the door!
1240
00:57:46,895 --> 00:57:48,230
Cover for me.
What?
1241
00:57:48,230 --> 00:57:49,565
I'm not here.
No.
1242
00:57:49,565 --> 00:57:51,366
All right, get going.
1243
00:57:51,366 --> 00:57:52,901
Hey, guys.
Hi, Kimberly.
1244
00:57:52,901 --> 00:57:54,302
Where's, uh...
1245
00:57:54,302 --> 00:57:55,704
What happened to you?
1246
00:57:58,473 --> 00:58:00,609
Okay, whatever.
Where's Ross?
1247
00:58:00,609 --> 00:58:04,212
He's not here right now in
this room.
1248
00:58:04,212 --> 00:58:05,548
Not right now.
1249
00:58:05,548 --> 00:58:08,450
We'll tell him you stopped by.
1250
00:58:08,450 --> 00:58:09,552
What are you wearing?
1251
00:58:09,552 --> 00:58:11,820
Black people clothes.
1252
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:13,822
What was that?
1253
00:58:13,822 --> 00:58:16,525
We are performing a live action
role playing exercise.
1254
00:58:16,525 --> 00:58:18,060
Yeah.
1255
00:58:20,495 --> 00:58:23,198
Okay, okay, you guys have fun.
1256
00:58:24,366 --> 00:58:25,801
Tell Ross to call me.
1257
00:58:25,801 --> 00:58:27,369
Okay.
1258
00:58:27,369 --> 00:58:28,837
Bye.
1259
00:58:31,774 --> 00:58:34,710
Oh, God, I almost had a fucking
heart attack.
1260
00:58:45,287 --> 00:58:46,722
Dude, brah!
1261
00:58:46,722 --> 00:58:49,357
Oh, man.
Way to pound it, Sex Ed.
1262
00:58:49,357 --> 00:58:51,093
Yeah.
1263
00:58:51,093 --> 00:58:52,294
What a freak.
1264
00:58:52,294 --> 00:58:54,096
And I think I almost threw my
back out, too.
1265
00:58:55,931 --> 00:58:58,066
What's wrong with you?
1266
00:58:58,066 --> 00:59:01,469
Oh, my God. Kim almost busted
us, man.
1267
00:59:01,469 --> 00:59:02,805
Oh, my God.
1268
00:59:02,805 --> 00:59:04,272
If she would've known I was
in here,
1269
00:59:04,272 --> 00:59:06,775
She'd have grabbed a knife and
killed us all.
1270
00:59:06,775 --> 00:59:07,810
She would have.
1271
00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:10,345
Hey, there, chirpy chippers.
1272
00:59:10,345 --> 00:59:12,314
Where the hell do you think
you're going?
1273
00:59:12,314 --> 00:59:14,082
I wasn't done with you.
1274
00:59:14,082 --> 00:59:15,350
Sorry, babe.
1275
00:59:15,350 --> 00:59:18,120
This squirrel's busted his
last nut for the night.
1276
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:21,089
You're a goddamn chipmunk,
not a squirrel.
1277
00:59:26,294 --> 00:59:27,295
Hey, babe!
1278
00:59:27,295 --> 00:59:29,297
Oh! I've missed you.
1279
00:59:29,297 --> 00:59:30,298
So you're here.
1280
00:59:30,298 --> 00:59:31,934
Give me a kiss, num nums.
1281
00:59:31,934 --> 00:59:33,268
How you doing?
So you're here.
1282
00:59:33,268 --> 00:59:34,870
Yeah.
Um, I was just...
1283
00:59:34,870 --> 00:59:36,739
I was coming back 'cause I
want to give you a note.
1284
00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:37,840
Well, I'm here now.
1285
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,474
You can just tell me what it
says.
1286
00:59:39,474 --> 00:59:42,778
Well, no. I think you'd really
like what's in it.
1287
00:59:42,778 --> 00:59:44,980
Oh.
Yeah.
1288
00:59:44,980 --> 00:59:46,314
Okay.
1289
00:59:48,684 --> 00:59:50,986
Oh. Oh, it...
Yeah.
1290
00:59:50,986 --> 00:59:51,987
Yeah?
1291
00:59:51,987 --> 00:59:53,488
You know, I think it's about
time.
1292
00:59:53,488 --> 00:59:54,723
Yeah?
1293
00:59:54,723 --> 00:59:56,825
Yeah, me... me, too.
1294
00:59:56,825 --> 00:59:59,094
Look really, me, too. I...
1295
00:59:59,094 --> 01:00:02,430
But not now.
Like, not here, I mean...
1296
01:00:02,430 --> 01:00:03,999
Maybe somewhere special...
1297
01:00:03,999 --> 01:00:06,268
Hey, Ross, you want
to be my sex chipmunk?
1298
01:00:07,502 --> 01:00:08,771
Oh, hi. I'm Mandy,
1299
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:10,673
And I love girl-on-girl.
1300
01:00:10,673 --> 01:00:12,407
I don't know her.
1301
01:00:12,407 --> 01:00:13,809
I don't know her.
1302
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:16,712
Really? Kim!
1303
01:00:16,712 --> 01:00:18,613
What's her problem?
1304
01:00:21,549 --> 01:00:23,585
Atten hut!
1305
01:00:23,585 --> 01:00:26,488
Ten hut, general Dougie, sir.
1306
01:00:26,488 --> 01:00:28,056
At ease, ladies.
1307
01:00:28,056 --> 01:00:30,693
Now drop and give me 69.
1308
01:00:30,693 --> 01:00:33,295
Oh, yes general Dougie, sir.
1309
01:00:33,295 --> 01:00:36,598
Right after I examine Corporal
Gina here
1310
01:00:36,598 --> 01:00:39,567
For any detonative devices.
1311
01:00:39,567 --> 01:00:41,136
Corporal Gina,
1312
01:00:41,136 --> 01:00:44,272
Are you hiding any illicit
contraband?
1313
01:00:44,272 --> 01:00:46,675
No, sir! Ma'am.
1314
01:00:48,110 --> 01:00:51,279
I think you have to be
court-martialed
1315
01:00:51,279 --> 01:00:54,983
For bad, bad, bad behavior!
1316
01:00:54,983 --> 01:00:57,485
Oh, yeah. Let me pull out my
soldier.
1317
01:00:58,954 --> 01:00:59,822
Aah!
1318
01:00:59,822 --> 01:01:00,989
Oh. Oh.
1319
01:01:00,989 --> 01:01:02,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1320
01:01:02,357 --> 01:01:03,625
No other male soldiers in this,
all right?
1321
01:01:03,625 --> 01:01:05,027
Don't ask. Don't tell.
1322
01:01:05,027 --> 01:01:07,295
God damn it, Doug, I'm cutting
off your credit.
1323
01:01:07,295 --> 01:01:09,197
Buck.
1324
01:01:09,197 --> 01:01:10,198
Hi, sir.
1325
01:01:10,198 --> 01:01:11,233
God damn it.
1326
01:01:11,233 --> 01:01:15,070
You owe me $7,000 worth of
Jack-off time.
1327
01:01:15,070 --> 01:01:17,973
I'm not gonna extend no more
credit to you, boy.
1328
01:01:17,973 --> 01:01:19,975
Buck, I'm good for it.
1329
01:01:19,975 --> 01:01:21,376
Oh, I know you are.
1330
01:01:21,376 --> 01:01:25,180
In fact, I got a little
proposition for you.
1331
01:01:25,180 --> 01:01:27,082
Lexa, Gina...
1332
01:01:28,583 --> 01:01:29,584
Get on out of here.
1333
01:01:29,584 --> 01:01:31,386
Aw!
1334
01:01:33,221 --> 01:01:34,823
Bye, Dougie.
1335
01:01:36,658 --> 01:01:38,693
I've seen your website.
1336
01:01:38,693 --> 01:01:41,329
I know what you're doing.
1337
01:01:41,329 --> 01:01:43,631
The one thing I don't understand,
though,
1338
01:01:43,631 --> 01:01:48,470
Is you work for
www.Pornderosa.Cum.
1339
01:01:48,470 --> 01:01:51,874
And your deal memo stipulates
that anything you do
1340
01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:55,110
In terms of content producing
1341
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:58,446
Belongs to me along with all
assets.
1342
01:01:58,446 --> 01:01:59,681
What?
1343
01:01:59,681 --> 01:02:03,251
Yep. I want a piece of the action.
1344
01:02:03,251 --> 01:02:06,354
Doug, I'm willing to let all
this slide
1345
01:02:06,354 --> 01:02:10,258
If you just partner with me on
a little side project.
1346
01:02:10,258 --> 01:02:11,860
I'm listening.
1347
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:16,799
I wanna do a live, pay-per-view,
Internet fuck fest
1348
01:02:16,799 --> 01:02:20,735
With that young virgin, Ross.
1349
01:02:20,735 --> 01:02:22,805
One night, one hump,
1350
01:02:22,805 --> 01:02:24,372
$1 million.
1351
01:02:24,372 --> 01:02:26,641
Buck, I don't know if he will.
1352
01:02:26,641 --> 01:02:27,876
He's a pussy.
1353
01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:29,544
He's scared to fuck on camera.
1354
01:02:29,544 --> 01:02:31,780
Every single one of your movies
1355
01:02:31,780 --> 01:02:35,918
Has over 25 million views.
1356
01:02:35,918 --> 01:02:40,388
If we can get that young, sweet,
virgin boy
1357
01:02:40,388 --> 01:02:46,028
To pop his cherry and sell the
live stream for $5.00 a pop,
1358
01:02:46,028 --> 01:02:49,097
That's a whole bunch of clams.
1359
01:02:49,097 --> 01:02:50,498
I think you can do the math.
1360
01:02:50,498 --> 01:02:53,368
Okay, buck, let me get back to
you on that.
1361
01:02:53,368 --> 01:02:55,503
Oh, and, buck?
1362
01:02:55,503 --> 01:02:57,806
Can you please put Lexa and
Gina back on?
1363
01:02:57,806 --> 01:02:58,807
I mean I've already gotten
started.
1364
01:02:58,807 --> 01:03:00,608
I gotta finish up.
1365
01:03:00,608 --> 01:03:03,311
You fucking pervert!
1366
01:03:05,447 --> 01:03:06,714
Thanks, Buck.
1367
01:03:06,714 --> 01:03:08,817
Now where were we, ladies?
1368
01:03:09,852 --> 01:03:11,586
Open up, brah! Come on!
1369
01:03:11,586 --> 01:03:12,787
Go away!
1370
01:03:12,787 --> 01:03:14,089
You've gotta talk to me,
home slice.
1371
01:03:14,089 --> 01:03:16,859
You're always the problem, Ed.
1372
01:03:16,859 --> 01:03:19,962
You're talking crazy.
Just let me in.
1373
01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:32,407
Come on, man.
1374
01:03:32,407 --> 01:03:35,443
She was bound to find out what
you were doing.
1375
01:03:36,644 --> 01:03:39,747
Yeah, but I wanted to explain
it to her myself, man,
1376
01:03:39,747 --> 01:03:41,416
When the time was right.
1377
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:44,052
When's the time right to tell
your girlfriend
1378
01:03:44,052 --> 01:03:45,153
That you're making porn videos
1379
01:03:45,153 --> 01:03:46,721
To pay off a psychopath?
1380
01:03:46,721 --> 01:03:50,859
You mean tell her that you are
making porn videos.
1381
01:03:50,859 --> 01:03:52,327
Look I may be the star,
1382
01:03:52,327 --> 01:03:53,962
But we're in this together,
brother.
1383
01:03:53,962 --> 01:03:57,432
No. No, you dragged me into
this shit.
1384
01:03:57,432 --> 01:03:59,834
Now she's gone.
1385
01:04:00,869 --> 01:04:02,504
Maybe that's a good thing.
1386
01:04:02,504 --> 01:04:04,839
What?
1387
01:04:04,839 --> 01:04:08,610
Look, Kim's a nice girl.
Too nice.
1388
01:04:08,610 --> 01:04:12,247
She's held your cock hostage
for four years.
1389
01:04:12,247 --> 01:04:13,916
Maybe secretly you wanted to
get caught.
1390
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:15,117
Now you're free.
1391
01:04:15,117 --> 01:04:16,751
Being free sucks.
1392
01:04:16,751 --> 01:04:18,586
You just gotta give it a try.
1393
01:04:18,586 --> 01:04:21,456
No. I want her back.
1394
01:04:21,456 --> 01:04:23,358
You're too much of a goddamn
pussy!
1395
01:04:23,358 --> 01:04:25,293
I give up.
It's too much work.
1396
01:04:25,293 --> 01:04:29,197
You ever stop to think if I
wanted your help, Ed? Huh?
1397
01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:33,068
You ever think that maybe some
of us are happy the way we are?
1398
01:04:33,068 --> 01:04:34,937
Some of us don't have to go
around showing off
1399
01:04:34,937 --> 01:04:36,371
Every single second of our lives,
1400
01:04:36,371 --> 01:04:38,240
'Cause we don't actually hate
ourselves.
1401
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,742
Fuck you.
You're jealous.
1402
01:04:40,742 --> 01:04:42,177
Jealous of what, Ed?
1403
01:04:42,177 --> 01:04:44,879
Jealous of you fucking drunk
sleazebags
1404
01:04:44,879 --> 01:04:46,714
And chicks who are borderline
retarded?
1405
01:04:46,714 --> 01:04:48,783
Yes! Exactly.
1406
01:04:48,783 --> 01:04:50,352
God, dude, look at you.
1407
01:04:50,352 --> 01:04:52,354
I don't even know who you are
anymore, asshole.
1408
01:04:52,354 --> 01:04:54,722
Who are you calling asshole,
cock?
1409
01:05:01,729 --> 01:05:02,797
Unh!
Ow!
1410
01:05:02,797 --> 01:05:04,732
Oh! Aah! Aah!
1411
01:05:04,732 --> 01:05:06,068
Ow! You're a whore!
1412
01:05:06,068 --> 01:05:07,635
Aah! Unh!
1413
01:05:09,371 --> 01:05:10,372
Jerk!
1414
01:05:19,948 --> 01:05:21,449
I'm sorry.
1415
01:05:21,449 --> 01:05:23,218
All right, brother.
1416
01:05:23,218 --> 01:05:24,752
Let's see how well you do
without me.
1417
01:05:24,752 --> 01:05:26,188
Fuck you!
1418
01:05:26,188 --> 01:05:29,591
I'm done with all of you for
real this time!
1419
01:05:32,794 --> 01:05:34,796
What is the problem?
1420
01:05:34,796 --> 01:05:37,165
Oh, Ed's out for good.
1421
01:05:37,165 --> 01:05:39,901
So, yeah, we pretty much have
to come up
1422
01:05:39,901 --> 01:05:42,070
With the rest of the cash on
our own.
1423
01:05:42,070 --> 01:05:43,938
What are we short?
1424
01:05:43,938 --> 01:05:47,342
We need to generate $98,000
in the next four days.
1425
01:05:47,342 --> 01:05:49,144
So according to my calculations,
1426
01:05:49,144 --> 01:05:51,213
We need to make two more movies,
1427
01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:52,847
And that should put us over
the mark.
1428
01:05:52,847 --> 01:05:54,182
Okay, okay.
1429
01:05:54,182 --> 01:05:55,950
Uh, well, you're gonna have to
do it, Marcus.
1430
01:05:55,950 --> 01:05:57,152
'Cause Kwan's...
1431
01:05:57,152 --> 01:05:58,686
I respectfully decline.
1432
01:05:58,686 --> 01:06:01,256
I did my part, and I'm
traumatized for life.
1433
01:06:01,256 --> 01:06:02,824
Trying to get the taste of
female ejaculate
1434
01:06:02,824 --> 01:06:04,359
Out of your mouth
1435
01:06:04,359 --> 01:06:06,028
Is like trying to get skunk
spray off clothing.
1436
01:06:06,028 --> 01:06:07,029
Brush it off, man.
Doesn't matter.
1437
01:06:07,029 --> 01:06:08,263
You're the only one.
1438
01:06:08,263 --> 01:06:09,897
Frankly, I believe Ed has a point.
1439
01:06:09,897 --> 01:06:11,933
You're the only qualified
person yet to contribute,
1440
01:06:11,933 --> 01:06:14,502
And now you're single.
1441
01:06:14,502 --> 01:06:16,438
And factoring in your virginity,
1442
01:06:16,438 --> 01:06:18,606
Which increases the coefficient
by 4.2.
1443
01:06:18,606 --> 01:06:21,143
And if we carry over the 8,
then that's... whoa.
1444
01:06:21,143 --> 01:06:23,011
What does it say?
What does it mean?
1445
01:06:23,011 --> 01:06:24,212
According to my calculations,
1446
01:06:24,212 --> 01:06:25,513
I believe that if you were to
perform,
1447
01:06:25,513 --> 01:06:27,582
We will only need to make one
movie.
1448
01:06:27,582 --> 01:06:29,317
That's impossible.
1449
01:06:30,618 --> 01:06:31,919
Oh! What about Doug?
1450
01:06:31,919 --> 01:06:33,155
Yeah, tell Kwan to get
1451
01:06:33,155 --> 01:06:34,489
Our next starlet on the phone.
1452
01:06:50,272 --> 01:06:51,706
Hey, wake up.
1453
01:06:51,706 --> 01:06:52,807
Ow. What...
1454
01:06:52,807 --> 01:06:54,276
Doug, you're up.
What?
1455
01:06:54,276 --> 01:06:55,843
You're up, man.
It's your turn to make a video.
1456
01:06:55,843 --> 01:06:57,745
We've got Anna Williams for you.
1457
01:06:57,745 --> 01:06:59,214
Who?
1458
01:06:59,214 --> 01:07:01,249
Uh, that chick that fell down
a well 20 years ago.
1459
01:07:01,249 --> 01:07:02,250
You have to have sex with her.
1460
01:07:02,250 --> 01:07:03,685
Me?
Yeah.
1461
01:07:03,685 --> 01:07:07,422
Oh, no. I'm, uh...
I'm all tapped out.
1462
01:07:07,422 --> 01:07:08,656
Dude, what?
1463
01:07:08,656 --> 01:07:09,857
No, you've been waiting for
this forever.
1464
01:07:09,857 --> 01:07:11,126
Come on, get up.
1465
01:07:11,126 --> 01:07:12,527
You've gotta give me a warning,
1466
01:07:12,527 --> 01:07:13,961
Or I'm gonna take care of
myself first.
1467
01:07:13,961 --> 01:07:15,830
Besides, it's 3:00 in the
afternoon.
1468
01:07:15,830 --> 01:07:17,232
Just get Ed to do it.
1469
01:07:17,232 --> 01:07:18,566
I'll take care of the next one.
1470
01:07:18,566 --> 01:07:19,801
Ed's not available.
1471
01:07:19,801 --> 01:07:21,736
Okay, you do it.
1472
01:07:21,736 --> 01:07:23,405
No.
1473
01:07:24,206 --> 01:07:25,473
Okay, fine.
1474
01:07:25,473 --> 01:07:27,375
Oh, I got it.
Perfect.
1475
01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:28,776
Couple of these will do the
trick.
1476
01:07:28,776 --> 01:07:29,844
Pop 'em quick.
1477
01:07:29,844 --> 01:07:30,845
Hey, whoa, whoa.
1478
01:07:30,845 --> 01:07:31,979
Isn't one enough of those?
1479
01:07:31,979 --> 01:07:33,415
Better safe than sorry.
Mmm!
1480
01:07:33,415 --> 01:07:35,850
I wonder how long it takes for
these things to kick in.
1481
01:07:35,850 --> 01:07:36,951
Oh!
1482
01:07:36,951 --> 01:07:38,453
All right, whatever.
Let's go.
1483
01:07:38,453 --> 01:07:40,155
All right.
Come on. Come on.
1484
01:07:40,155 --> 01:07:41,423
Oh!
1485
01:07:43,891 --> 01:07:45,360
I don't feel too good, man.
1486
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,129
My heart is beating really fast.
1487
01:07:47,129 --> 01:07:48,363
You'll be fine.
1488
01:07:48,363 --> 01:07:49,731
The side effects include diarrhea,
1489
01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:51,233
Flushing of the face, heart
palpitations,
1490
01:07:51,233 --> 01:07:52,600
Stroke and coma.
1491
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:53,901
Like I said, you'll be fine.
1492
01:07:53,901 --> 01:07:55,470
Go get her.
1493
01:07:55,470 --> 01:07:58,406
Go for it.
Hey, come on over here.
1494
01:07:59,774 --> 01:08:01,976
Hi.
Hi.
1495
01:08:01,976 --> 01:08:03,578
Whoo!
1496
01:08:06,848 --> 01:08:08,583
Mmm!
1497
01:08:10,485 --> 01:08:11,919
Whoo!
1498
01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:18,826
You okay?
1499
01:08:18,826 --> 01:08:19,994
I'm... I'm good.
1500
01:08:19,994 --> 01:08:23,198
Ahh.
Okay, good.
1501
01:08:25,667 --> 01:08:26,934
You just relax.
1502
01:08:26,934 --> 01:08:28,002
Okay.
1503
01:08:28,002 --> 01:08:29,671
Yeah?
Yeah.
1504
01:08:29,671 --> 01:08:30,738
Mmm!
1505
01:08:30,738 --> 01:08:33,275
Ooh! Do you like what you see?
1506
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:35,143
Ooh, yeah. Spank me.
1507
01:08:35,143 --> 01:08:36,411
Yeah.
1508
01:08:39,381 --> 01:08:41,583
What am I supposed to do now?
1509
01:08:41,583 --> 01:08:44,018
Shit! Doug.
1510
01:08:44,018 --> 01:08:45,153
Doug, wake up.
1511
01:08:45,153 --> 01:08:46,888
Don't clap. Don't clap.
1512
01:08:46,888 --> 01:08:48,656
He's still functioning.
He's good. He's just passed out.
1513
01:08:48,656 --> 01:08:50,325
It says we only have to worry
1514
01:08:50,325 --> 01:08:51,759
If his erection lasts more
than four hours.
1515
01:08:51,759 --> 01:08:54,996
Eww. Are you sure he's not dead?
1516
01:08:54,996 --> 01:08:56,798
No, keep going.
1517
01:08:56,798 --> 01:08:58,766
Okay. Okay.
1518
01:08:58,766 --> 01:09:00,968
Should I take his pants off?
1519
01:09:00,968 --> 01:09:02,270
Yeah, sure.
Take 'em down.
1520
01:09:02,270 --> 01:09:04,772
Get comfortable.
1521
01:09:04,772 --> 01:09:05,907
Come on, big boy.
1522
01:09:05,907 --> 01:09:07,209
Ooh!
1523
01:09:07,209 --> 01:09:13,715
All right. Looks like we are
uploaded.
1524
01:09:14,982 --> 01:09:16,684
Fuck!
I can't believe it.
1525
01:09:16,684 --> 01:09:18,320
Why do I always miss everything?
1526
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:19,787
I can't believe you let this
woman fuck me
1527
01:09:19,787 --> 01:09:20,788
While I was in a coma.
1528
01:09:20,788 --> 01:09:22,890
Yeah, she's going pretty wild
here.
1529
01:09:22,890 --> 01:09:25,760
Ooh! Ooh, you like that?
1530
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:26,994
You like that?
1531
01:09:26,994 --> 01:09:30,698
That might as well have been
a rock she was humping.
1532
01:09:30,698 --> 01:09:33,235
You didn't feel anything?
Anything at all?
1533
01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,637
No! God damn it!
1534
01:09:35,637 --> 01:09:37,205
Ohh!
1535
01:09:37,205 --> 01:09:38,573
Ooh!
1536
01:09:38,573 --> 01:09:40,908
I'm the first virgin that's
not a virgin.
1537
01:09:40,908 --> 01:09:42,043
Stop it.
1538
01:09:42,043 --> 01:09:43,645
It's true.
1539
01:09:43,645 --> 01:09:45,146
Now I know what parents feel
like
1540
01:09:45,146 --> 01:09:46,748
When they adopt kids.
1541
01:09:52,587 --> 01:09:55,423
Well, we're up to 3 million
hits already
1542
01:09:55,423 --> 01:09:57,058
With Douglas's video.
1543
01:09:57,058 --> 01:09:58,593
It's good, but not good enough.
1544
01:10:03,298 --> 01:10:04,499
Yeah, asshole.
1545
01:10:04,499 --> 01:10:05,733
Hey, at least I got to have sex,
1546
01:10:05,733 --> 01:10:07,235
Even though I don't remember.
1547
01:10:07,235 --> 01:10:08,570
You just got a face full.
1548
01:10:08,570 --> 01:10:10,638
We're totally fucked, guys.
We have no star.
1549
01:10:11,473 --> 01:10:12,674
I hate to say it,
1550
01:10:12,674 --> 01:10:14,542
But no one can do it like Ed.
1551
01:10:15,877 --> 01:10:17,479
We have three days to come up
with 80 grand
1552
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:19,046
Or else we go to prison,
1553
01:10:19,046 --> 01:10:20,782
Which means we're fucked.
1554
01:10:22,116 --> 01:10:24,386
African-American men are 12
times more likely to die
1555
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:26,053
In prison than other ethnicities.
1556
01:10:26,053 --> 01:10:27,989
Think, think, think, think.
1557
01:10:27,989 --> 01:10:29,957
There is one way.
1558
01:10:29,957 --> 01:10:32,059
Doug, you're not starring in
another video.
1559
01:10:32,059 --> 01:10:34,829
No. Porndarosa.Cum.
1560
01:10:34,829 --> 01:10:37,164
They want to do a cross-promotion
with us.
1561
01:10:37,164 --> 01:10:38,165
Why didn't you fucking say
something?
1562
01:10:38,165 --> 01:10:39,367
Will they pay us?
1563
01:10:39,367 --> 01:10:40,435
Yeah.
Not chump change, either.
1564
01:10:40,435 --> 01:10:42,737
We're talking one mil...
1565
01:10:42,737 --> 01:10:45,473
Hundred thousand dollars...
1566
01:10:45,473 --> 01:10:48,042
If Ross agrees to lose his
virginity
1567
01:10:48,042 --> 01:10:52,146
On a live stream pay-per-view
at the porndarosa stages.
1568
01:10:52,146 --> 01:10:53,848
But I knew he was too much of
a pussy to do it,
1569
01:10:53,848 --> 01:10:55,750
So that's why I didn't say
nothin'.
1570
01:10:55,750 --> 01:10:57,919
Yeah, I mean...
1571
01:10:57,919 --> 01:10:59,587
Well...
1572
01:11:02,189 --> 01:11:03,825
Say we're sorry to who, Danny?
1573
01:11:06,093 --> 01:11:07,895
Actually, yeah.
1574
01:11:07,895 --> 01:11:09,397
Yeah. Why don't we just find
her house,
1575
01:11:09,397 --> 01:11:10,832
And I'll beg for forgiveness?
I mean...
1576
01:11:10,832 --> 01:11:12,567
And we apologize for recording
Ed
1577
01:11:12,567 --> 01:11:14,101
Slamming his penis into her
vagina
1578
01:11:14,101 --> 01:11:15,370
While she was intoxicated
1579
01:11:15,370 --> 01:11:17,339
Under a mix of narcotics and
alcohol.
1580
01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:18,873
I've got a better idea.
1581
01:11:18,873 --> 01:11:20,875
You guys stay here.
I'll apologize for us.
1582
01:11:20,875 --> 01:11:23,711
But just in case, uh...
1583
01:11:25,079 --> 01:11:27,549
Tell Porndarosa yes.
1584
01:11:27,549 --> 01:11:29,384
What? Really?
1585
01:11:29,384 --> 01:11:31,285
It's our plan "B."
1586
01:11:31,285 --> 01:11:32,687
Danny's second option.
1587
01:11:32,687 --> 01:11:36,524
If Melanie doesn't drop the
charges, then...
1588
01:11:36,524 --> 01:11:39,327
Call Porndarosa and tell them
to set it up.
1589
01:11:54,141 --> 01:11:56,043
Deliveries to the service
gate on the side.
1590
01:11:56,043 --> 01:11:58,580
No, I'm here to see Mellony
Adams.
1591
01:11:58,580 --> 01:11:59,881
Is she expecting you?
1592
01:11:59,881 --> 01:12:01,015
No.
1593
01:12:01,015 --> 01:12:03,851
Then call her manager and make
an appointment.
1594
01:12:03,851 --> 01:12:05,186
I need to talk to her.
It's important.
1595
01:12:05,186 --> 01:12:06,754
Please step away from the gate.
1596
01:12:06,754 --> 01:12:08,656
Security will be down shortly
to escort you off the property.
1597
01:12:08,656 --> 01:12:10,525
No, no, no.
No, no. Just, uh...
1598
01:12:10,525 --> 01:12:12,560
Just tell her that I'm the guy
1599
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,629
That put her on the Internet.
1600
01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:28,009
So...
1601
01:12:28,009 --> 01:12:29,343
Ross.
1602
01:12:29,343 --> 01:12:30,812
So, Ross, um...
1603
01:12:30,812 --> 01:12:33,448
What is it that you wanted to
talk to me about?
1604
01:12:33,448 --> 01:12:36,651
Um, uh, just, uh...
1605
01:12:36,651 --> 01:12:38,420
I just wanted to see you and...
1606
01:12:38,420 --> 01:12:39,621
Wait.
1607
01:12:39,621 --> 01:12:43,057
Are you... are you the one that
I fucked?
1608
01:12:43,057 --> 01:12:44,158
What?
1609
01:12:44,158 --> 01:12:49,063
Are you the one that I fucked
from that video?
1610
01:12:49,063 --> 01:12:50,465
Okay, look, things are...
1611
01:12:50,465 --> 01:12:53,134
Things are a little fuzzy from
that night.
1612
01:12:53,134 --> 01:12:55,002
Don't really remember.
1613
01:12:55,002 --> 01:12:57,405
And I haven't really gotten
myself, you know,
1614
01:12:57,405 --> 01:12:59,607
Up to watch that video, so...
1615
01:12:59,607 --> 01:13:01,008
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.
1616
01:13:01,008 --> 01:13:03,144
That was... that was Ed.
It wasn't me.
1617
01:13:03,144 --> 01:13:04,512
Can I have a muffin?
1618
01:13:04,512 --> 01:13:05,880
Sure.
Yeah, um, so...
1619
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:07,248
Can I have an orange, too?
1620
01:13:07,248 --> 01:13:08,349
Yeah. No, help yourself, darlin'.
1621
01:13:08,349 --> 01:13:09,350
Thank you.
1622
01:13:09,350 --> 01:13:12,219
Um, Ed? Ed?
1623
01:13:12,219 --> 01:13:16,157
Oh, um, okay. So...
1624
01:13:16,157 --> 01:13:20,728
Well, you can tell Ed...
1625
01:13:22,664 --> 01:13:26,133
That I said thank you for me,
please.
1626
01:13:27,602 --> 01:13:29,136
Thank you?
1627
01:13:29,136 --> 01:13:31,873
He saved my life.
1628
01:13:34,542 --> 01:13:36,978
What? You're not mad at us?
1629
01:13:36,978 --> 01:13:38,546
Oh, I was.
1630
01:13:38,546 --> 01:13:40,815
I definitely was.
1631
01:13:40,815 --> 01:13:45,152
But I also realized that having
sex with your...
1632
01:13:45,152 --> 01:13:46,688
Your friend Ed
1633
01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:51,959
Was the best thing that's ever
happened to me.
1634
01:13:51,959 --> 01:13:56,698
Okay. You see, I had hit rock
bottom.
1635
01:13:56,698 --> 01:14:00,301
I needed to take a really long,
hard look at myself
1636
01:14:00,301 --> 01:14:02,036
And... And change.
1637
01:14:02,036 --> 01:14:04,672
But...
1638
01:14:04,672 --> 01:14:07,241
I'm 27 days clean.
1639
01:14:07,241 --> 01:14:08,643
I know, it doesn't...
1640
01:14:08,643 --> 01:14:09,977
I know that doesn't seem like
much,
1641
01:14:09,977 --> 01:14:13,280
But I'm actually really excited
about it.
1642
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:15,717
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1643
01:14:15,717 --> 01:14:17,184
But what about the money?
1644
01:14:17,184 --> 01:14:18,452
Why are you blackmailing us?
1645
01:14:18,452 --> 01:14:19,587
What?
1646
01:14:19,587 --> 01:14:21,188
Blackmailing you?
1647
01:14:21,188 --> 01:14:22,824
You know, the...
1648
01:14:22,824 --> 01:14:24,225
The half-million Danny demanded
1649
01:14:24,225 --> 01:14:27,128
To not send us to jail and,
like, kill us?
1650
01:14:27,128 --> 01:14:28,462
He did what?
1651
01:14:28,462 --> 01:14:29,797
Yeah, he's gonna send us all
to jail
1652
01:14:29,797 --> 01:14:31,165
If we don't come up with 80
grand
1653
01:14:31,165 --> 01:14:32,066
In the next two days.
1654
01:14:32,066 --> 01:14:34,301
Okay, no, no, no.
Danny is crazy.
1655
01:14:34,301 --> 01:14:35,402
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
1656
01:14:35,402 --> 01:14:37,204
And I'm sorry if he hurt you.
1657
01:14:37,204 --> 01:14:39,073
So will you help us?
1658
01:14:40,341 --> 01:14:43,110
Look, I am... I am...
1659
01:14:43,110 --> 01:14:46,047
I am so flattered that you came
here to talk about this
1660
01:14:46,047 --> 01:14:47,549
And get it all out...
1661
01:14:49,283 --> 01:14:52,486
But I can't help you, sweetie.
1662
01:14:52,486 --> 01:14:54,589
I can't go back into that world.
1663
01:14:54,589 --> 01:14:56,090
I'm working on me.
1664
01:14:56,090 --> 01:14:57,592
I can't get involved.
1665
01:14:57,592 --> 01:14:59,694
I have to work on me.
1666
01:14:59,694 --> 01:15:02,630
That's what comes first.
1667
01:15:02,630 --> 01:15:05,066
But, um...
1668
01:15:08,102 --> 01:15:09,704
Please, I...
1669
01:15:24,886 --> 01:15:26,387
You got some news, partner?
1670
01:15:26,387 --> 01:15:28,189
We're ready to do this.
1671
01:15:28,189 --> 01:15:29,624
Under one condition:
1672
01:15:29,624 --> 01:15:30,925
I am the producer
1673
01:15:30,925 --> 01:15:33,294
And I alone handle all of the
money.
1674
01:15:33,294 --> 01:15:35,396
I'll also need an unlimited
lifetime supply
1675
01:15:35,396 --> 01:15:38,866
Of live two-way Jack-off
access on Porndarosa.Cum.
1676
01:15:40,768 --> 01:15:43,537
You drive a hard bargain, partner.
1677
01:15:44,772 --> 01:15:47,008
But you got yourself a deal.
1678
01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,643
Yes!
1679
01:15:48,643 --> 01:15:50,645
♪ gettin' porn money ♪
1680
01:15:50,645 --> 01:15:52,379
♪ gettin' porn and money ♪
1681
01:15:52,379 --> 01:15:56,017
Lifetime supply. Yeah.
1682
01:16:16,704 --> 01:16:18,272
Tickle, tickle!
1683
01:16:18,272 --> 01:16:20,174
Tickle, tickle.
1684
01:16:20,174 --> 01:16:22,509
I want to spank you.
1685
01:16:22,509 --> 01:16:24,912
Okay, come on, Ross.
1686
01:16:24,912 --> 01:16:26,313
Come on, Ross.
You got this.
1687
01:16:26,313 --> 01:16:27,849
Come on, come on.
1688
01:16:27,849 --> 01:16:29,784
One drink.
Take a little drink.
1689
01:16:32,019 --> 01:16:33,454
Blech!
1690
01:16:33,454 --> 01:16:34,789
Let's roll.
1691
01:16:38,259 --> 01:16:39,593
Howdy, partners.
1692
01:16:39,593 --> 01:16:41,696
I'm Buck Hollister, president
of...
1693
01:16:41,696 --> 01:16:45,266
What the heck?
Get the fuck outta here.
1694
01:16:45,266 --> 01:16:46,567
What are you...?
1695
01:16:46,567 --> 01:16:50,104
President of Porndarosa.Cum.
1696
01:16:50,104 --> 01:16:52,006
I'd like to thank you all
for tuning in tonight
1697
01:16:52,006 --> 01:16:54,341
To watch some hot fuck action
1698
01:16:54,341 --> 01:16:57,611
With one of the hottest young
cock stars in the biz.
1699
01:16:57,611 --> 01:17:01,082
Tonight, we got a special treat.
1700
01:17:03,751 --> 01:17:05,086
We're ready for you.
1701
01:17:05,086 --> 01:17:05,953
Okay.
1702
01:17:05,953 --> 01:17:08,022
You ready? You excited?
1703
01:17:08,022 --> 01:17:10,257
You are going to be waist deep
1704
01:17:10,257 --> 01:17:13,094
In some lady's vajayjay in,
like, 30 seconds.
1705
01:17:13,094 --> 01:17:14,128
Yeah.
1706
01:17:14,128 --> 01:17:15,496
I'm excited.
I'm excited for you.
1707
01:17:15,496 --> 01:17:17,464
Hey, I'd be out there if I could,
1708
01:17:17,464 --> 01:17:20,167
But can't go back on set.
1709
01:17:20,167 --> 01:17:22,369
Oh, jerk off once in the corner
1710
01:17:22,369 --> 01:17:24,305
And suddenly you're public
enemy number one.
1711
01:17:24,305 --> 01:17:25,873
All right. All right, got it,
Scotty.
1712
01:17:25,873 --> 01:17:27,842
All right. Thanks, man.
1713
01:17:28,876 --> 01:17:30,577
Fuckin' crazy, man.
1714
01:17:30,577 --> 01:17:32,714
Suck it up, suck it up, suck
it up.
1715
01:17:37,018 --> 01:17:38,920
Okay, you got this.
You got this.
1716
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:40,187
We're gonna witness
1717
01:17:40,187 --> 01:17:42,456
America's favorite virgin,
Ross Ganz,
1718
01:17:42,456 --> 01:17:46,327
Pop his cherry tonight live on
videotape!
1719
01:17:46,327 --> 01:17:49,530
I chi ooh la goo chi koopah!
1720
01:17:49,530 --> 01:17:50,932
What the hell did he just say?
1721
01:17:50,932 --> 01:17:54,368
I don't, um...
Do you have to go potty?
1722
01:17:54,368 --> 01:17:55,536
I don't know.
1723
01:17:55,536 --> 01:17:57,872
Jeez.
1724
01:17:57,872 --> 01:18:00,207
Well, here he is... Ross.
1725
01:18:00,207 --> 01:18:01,675
Come here, boy.
1726
01:18:01,675 --> 01:18:03,010
Hey.
1727
01:18:03,010 --> 01:18:06,613
So let me get this straight,
partner.
1728
01:18:06,613 --> 01:18:09,550
You're a virgin?
1729
01:18:09,550 --> 01:18:11,252
Uh, yes. Yeah.
1730
01:18:11,252 --> 01:18:13,888
A virgin!
1731
01:18:13,888 --> 01:18:16,958
Whoo! Well, we're pretty
fucking classy
1732
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:19,426
Here at Porndarosa.Cum,
1733
01:18:19,426 --> 01:18:21,162
So what we did is went out
1734
01:18:21,162 --> 01:18:22,663
And got you an extra special
1735
01:18:22,663 --> 01:18:24,365
Little hussy to bang.
1736
01:18:24,365 --> 01:18:27,634
Are you ready to meet your
lucky starlet, stud?
1737
01:18:27,634 --> 01:18:29,303
Let's just get this over with,
man.
1738
01:18:29,303 --> 01:18:30,471
Right.
1739
01:18:30,471 --> 01:18:34,108
Well, you know her from the
magazines.
1740
01:18:34,108 --> 01:18:38,880
Let's all please welcome Miss
Emily Addison!
1741
01:18:40,181 --> 01:18:41,248
Holy shit.
1742
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:49,423
Hey, Ross.
I'm a big fan of yours.
1743
01:18:54,728 --> 01:18:56,397
Ohh!
1744
01:18:58,465 --> 01:19:00,567
Saddle up, cowboy!
1745
01:19:00,567 --> 01:19:05,306
Time for some fuckin'!
Yee-haw!
1746
01:19:09,210 --> 01:19:10,812
Whoa.
1747
01:19:12,413 --> 01:19:13,948
Uh...
1748
01:19:16,617 --> 01:19:18,352
Whoa.
1749
01:19:19,353 --> 01:19:21,088
Uh...
1750
01:19:55,056 --> 01:19:57,124
Wait, wait, wait.
Aah!
1751
01:20:00,261 --> 01:20:01,829
Wait.
1752
01:20:06,667 --> 01:20:07,801
What?
1753
01:20:07,801 --> 01:20:09,803
You don't like me?
1754
01:20:09,803 --> 01:20:11,505
Yes. Yes, I do.
1755
01:20:11,505 --> 01:20:13,174
I just...
Holy shit, I do.
1756
01:20:13,174 --> 01:20:15,642
I just...
I-I-I don't know.
1757
01:20:15,642 --> 01:20:17,178
Get to it, kid!
1758
01:20:17,178 --> 01:20:18,812
You're gettin' paid to fuck!
1759
01:20:18,812 --> 01:20:20,681
Shut up!
1760
01:20:20,681 --> 01:20:21,883
Fuck this!
1761
01:20:21,883 --> 01:20:23,284
My God, this is insane.
I can't.
1762
01:20:23,284 --> 01:20:25,887
I can't do this. I can't.
1763
01:20:25,887 --> 01:20:28,355
I... I... I can't believe
these words
1764
01:20:28,355 --> 01:20:30,357
Are actually coming out of my
mouth,
1765
01:20:30,357 --> 01:20:32,426
Considering I've probably
masturbated to you
1766
01:20:32,426 --> 01:20:34,295
Over 1,000 times.
1767
01:20:35,897 --> 01:20:37,331
I know everything about you.
1768
01:20:37,331 --> 01:20:39,700
Oh, my God.
You're awesome.
1769
01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:41,302
I, uh...
1770
01:20:41,302 --> 01:20:43,037
I even have this little shrine
1771
01:20:43,037 --> 01:20:46,073
I made dedicated to you.
1772
01:20:46,073 --> 01:20:47,841
It took some pretty huge...
1773
01:20:47,841 --> 01:20:50,677
Stuff. Shut up!
1774
01:20:50,677 --> 01:20:53,047
You know what?
The truth is
1775
01:20:53,047 --> 01:20:55,249
Me and my friends are only
making these tapes
1776
01:20:55,249 --> 01:20:56,417
Because we were threatened
1777
01:20:56,417 --> 01:20:58,385
By that Hollywood agent Danny
Silver,
1778
01:20:58,385 --> 01:21:01,455
Who's a fucking slimy cocksucker,
1779
01:21:01,455 --> 01:21:03,624
And I hope you're fucking
watching, motherfucker!
1780
01:21:03,624 --> 01:21:06,627
He threatened to beat us up and
have us arrested
1781
01:21:06,627 --> 01:21:10,197
And even kill us if we didn't
come up with 500 grand.
1782
01:21:10,197 --> 01:21:12,733
Well, here's your 500 grand
right here, motherfucker!
1783
01:21:12,733 --> 01:21:13,935
Come and get it, 'cause I quit!
1784
01:21:14,969 --> 01:21:16,603
You can beat me up.
I don't care.
1785
01:21:16,603 --> 01:21:18,105
Whatever, man.
All right?
1786
01:21:18,105 --> 01:21:19,740
Because we are done working
for you.
1787
01:21:19,740 --> 01:21:20,741
We're done!
1788
01:21:20,741 --> 01:21:22,143
You bitch!
1789
01:21:22,143 --> 01:21:24,078
And I'll have you know,
1790
01:21:24,078 --> 01:21:26,613
There's only one girl I want
to lose my virginity to.
1791
01:21:28,882 --> 01:21:30,717
My ex-girlfriend Kim.
1792
01:21:30,717 --> 01:21:33,087
And she wouldn't be watching
this,
1793
01:21:33,087 --> 01:21:35,089
Because she's not that kind
of girl.
1794
01:21:35,089 --> 01:21:36,590
Like all you little perverts.
1795
01:21:36,590 --> 01:21:38,292
She's pure,
1796
01:21:38,292 --> 01:21:41,095
And I love that about her.
1797
01:21:43,697 --> 01:21:46,033
It's all this bullshit that
caused us to break up!
1798
01:21:46,033 --> 01:21:48,035
Fucking shit!
1799
01:21:48,035 --> 01:21:49,436
Hey, Kwan.
1800
01:21:52,239 --> 01:21:54,241
Come here.
I'm not done with you.
1801
01:21:54,241 --> 01:21:55,642
Look, I know you're watching,
Ed.
1802
01:21:55,642 --> 01:21:57,144
All right?
1803
01:21:57,144 --> 01:21:59,580
I just want to let you know
you're not a frat guy.
1804
01:21:59,580 --> 01:22:01,915
Come on, you're a ninth level
paladin
1805
01:22:01,915 --> 01:22:04,351
That's led the clan on countless
adventures.
1806
01:22:04,351 --> 01:22:05,552
Come on, dude.
1807
01:22:05,552 --> 01:22:08,055
If I had a fucking dollar for
every time you talked
1808
01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:10,591
About how much Delaney was a
cocksucker,
1809
01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:13,660
Man, I'd have, like, between
84 and 130 dollars.
1810
01:22:13,660 --> 01:22:15,596
Hey, brah. I might've said one
or two things.
1811
01:22:15,596 --> 01:22:18,332
Seriously. Delaney doesn't even
like you, man.
1812
01:22:18,332 --> 01:22:20,334
He just hangs out with you
because you do his homework.
1813
01:22:20,334 --> 01:22:21,568
You know what, fuck this!
1814
01:22:21,568 --> 01:22:23,670
I hope you're watching, too,
Delaney.
1815
01:22:23,670 --> 01:22:25,672
Because I'm gonna tell the Dean
on your punk ass!
1816
01:22:25,672 --> 01:22:27,641
Get him off the fuckin' set!
1817
01:22:27,641 --> 01:22:29,943
He's blocking the action!
1818
01:22:29,943 --> 01:22:32,346
Time to take out the garbage.
1819
01:22:32,346 --> 01:22:33,680
Recycle.
1820
01:22:33,680 --> 01:22:34,815
You can sit.
1821
01:22:34,815 --> 01:22:36,083
Ed!
1822
01:22:36,083 --> 01:22:37,218
(Fantasy language)
1823
01:22:37,218 --> 01:22:40,021
(Fantasy language)
1824
01:22:42,089 --> 01:22:44,925
Unhand him, you ghouls, at once!
1825
01:22:44,925 --> 01:22:47,561
Aah!
1826
01:22:47,561 --> 01:22:50,031
You guys are killing my boner.
1827
01:22:50,964 --> 01:22:53,100
Marcus, wake up.
1828
01:22:54,435 --> 01:22:57,038
Yo, what the fuck happened?
1829
01:22:57,038 --> 01:22:59,240
Got knocked out again, buddy.
1830
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:01,675
You... you're black.
1831
01:23:01,675 --> 01:23:04,211
No shit, bitch.
1832
01:23:04,211 --> 01:23:06,847
Damn, who the fuck served me?
1833
01:23:06,847 --> 01:23:08,849
Dude, all those blows to your
head
1834
01:23:08,849 --> 01:23:10,317
Somehow cured your asperger's.
1835
01:23:10,317 --> 01:23:12,719
Boy, you really are a pussy.
1836
01:23:12,719 --> 01:23:15,556
You can't even get it up for
a million dollars.
1837
01:23:15,556 --> 01:23:16,957
You mean 100,000.
1838
01:23:16,957 --> 01:23:20,594
Doug made the deal for a million.
1839
01:23:20,594 --> 01:23:21,728
He did?
1840
01:23:22,729 --> 01:23:24,131
You motherfucker!
1841
01:23:24,131 --> 01:23:25,266
You were gonna keep 900,000
for yourself?
1842
01:23:25,266 --> 01:23:27,468
Not really. I was just...
1843
01:23:28,702 --> 01:23:29,936
Come here!
1844
01:23:29,936 --> 01:23:31,138
I gonna get you!
1845
01:23:31,138 --> 01:23:33,340
That's some shit.
1846
01:23:33,340 --> 01:23:35,976
Now these motherfuckers up in
here better get ready
1847
01:23:35,976 --> 01:23:37,411
For an unholy beat-down
1848
01:23:37,411 --> 01:23:40,447
The likes of which ain't nobody
ever seen.
1849
01:23:40,447 --> 01:23:41,448
Gotcha
1850
01:23:42,749 --> 01:23:43,850
What you gonna do, bitch?
1851
01:23:45,419 --> 01:23:48,089
The motherfucking buck stops
here.
1852
01:23:52,025 --> 01:23:53,494
God.
1853
01:23:53,494 --> 01:23:54,728
Whoa.
1854
01:23:56,963 --> 01:23:58,299
Hey, Danny.
1855
01:23:59,766 --> 01:24:01,001
You got a minute?
1856
01:24:01,001 --> 01:24:03,137
Can it wait?
1857
01:24:03,137 --> 01:24:04,405
Mmm...
1858
01:24:04,405 --> 01:24:05,839
I'm trying to do some business
over here.
1859
01:24:05,839 --> 01:24:07,841
Well, it's, um...
1860
01:24:07,841 --> 01:24:10,644
It's kind of important.
1861
01:24:11,912 --> 01:24:14,448
All right.
Make it quick.
1862
01:24:14,448 --> 01:24:18,419
Well, you're my manager, and
as an actor,
1863
01:24:18,419 --> 01:24:20,321
Us actors feel like it's good
to scratch
1864
01:24:20,321 --> 01:24:22,789
Our management's back every
once in while.
1865
01:24:22,789 --> 01:24:24,057
You know what I mean?
1866
01:24:24,057 --> 01:24:25,992
Uh-huh.
1867
01:24:25,992 --> 01:24:27,694
And as your best client,
1868
01:24:27,694 --> 01:24:33,066
I feel like I kind of owe it
to you.
1869
01:24:35,602 --> 01:24:38,038
And you know how I roll, baby.
1870
01:24:38,038 --> 01:24:39,906
I'm kind of kinky.
1871
01:24:39,906 --> 01:24:42,276
Mellony, Mellony.
Mmm.
1872
01:24:42,276 --> 01:24:44,478
What did I do to deserve this?
1873
01:24:44,478 --> 01:24:45,279
Turn around.
Both laughing]
1874
01:24:46,580 --> 01:24:48,782
Turn around.
Whoa!
1875
01:24:55,556 --> 01:24:57,224
Stop it.
Look at this!
1876
01:24:57,224 --> 01:24:58,759
You see that?
1877
01:24:58,759 --> 01:25:00,227
That's called a contract, baby.
1878
01:25:01,662 --> 01:25:02,696
A contract...
1879
01:25:02,696 --> 01:25:04,097
One of those little bitty things
1880
01:25:04,097 --> 01:25:06,032
That you could never get me,
seven years.
1881
01:25:06,032 --> 01:25:07,301
In seven years,
1882
01:25:07,301 --> 01:25:08,902
You couldn't get me one of
those things.
1883
01:25:08,902 --> 01:25:11,472
And I just wanted you to look
at all those zeroes
1884
01:25:11,472 --> 01:25:13,240
That are going to be all mine.
1885
01:25:13,240 --> 01:25:14,241
That's mine!
1886
01:25:14,241 --> 01:25:15,542
And none of yours!
1887
01:25:15,542 --> 01:25:16,643
Stop it!
1888
01:25:16,643 --> 01:25:18,212
Uh-huh.
1889
01:25:18,212 --> 01:25:19,980
Oh, and guess what, Danny?
1890
01:25:19,980 --> 01:25:22,115
You're fired. Uh-huh.
1891
01:25:22,115 --> 01:25:24,050
You're fired, and I never want
to
1892
01:25:24,050 --> 01:25:26,187
Ever, ever, ever see you ever
again.
1893
01:25:26,187 --> 01:25:27,788
Shut up!
1894
01:25:27,788 --> 01:25:29,623
Listen to me.
1895
01:25:29,623 --> 01:25:31,358
I should leave you with a
little something,
1896
01:25:31,358 --> 01:25:32,659
Though, shouldn't I?
1897
01:25:32,659 --> 01:25:34,361
I'm gonna give you something
before I leave
1898
01:25:34,361 --> 01:25:35,996
Just so you remember me by,
okay?
1899
01:25:38,098 --> 01:25:39,633
So you just stay there,
1900
01:25:39,633 --> 01:25:41,468
And I'm gonna give you
something to remember me.
1901
01:25:41,468 --> 01:25:43,737
It'll be real good, okay?
1902
01:25:43,737 --> 01:25:45,239
Stay down.
1903
01:25:45,239 --> 01:25:46,473
Fuck you!
1904
01:25:46,473 --> 01:25:48,742
You feel that! Uh-huh!
1905
01:25:48,742 --> 01:25:51,011
Yeah, it feels good, right,
baby?
1906
01:25:51,011 --> 01:25:53,214
Yeah!
1907
01:25:57,884 --> 01:25:59,686
Sorry I'm late for raid.
1908
01:25:59,686 --> 01:26:01,688
Who said you were welcome?
1909
01:26:01,688 --> 01:26:03,357
Yo. What up, sexy?
1910
01:26:03,357 --> 01:26:04,558
Don't call me that anymore.
1911
01:26:04,558 --> 01:26:06,092
The guys kicked me out of the
frat
1912
01:26:06,092 --> 01:26:08,495
As soon as our videos got
taken down.
1913
01:26:08,495 --> 01:26:09,896
So what?
1914
01:26:09,896 --> 01:26:12,433
I figured I would bring you
this from the P.O. Box.
1915
01:26:14,835 --> 01:26:16,370
Ahem.
1916
01:26:16,370 --> 01:26:18,171
"Ed is the grossest guy I've
ever slept with,
1917
01:26:18,171 --> 01:26:19,573
"Rock bottom...
1918
01:26:19,573 --> 01:26:21,575
What was I thinking fucking
that guy?"
1919
01:26:21,575 --> 01:26:22,843
Yeah, I already know all this
stuff.
1920
01:26:22,843 --> 01:26:23,844
Skip to the end.
1921
01:26:26,112 --> 01:26:28,582
"This letter is to inform you
that Danny Silver
1922
01:26:28,582 --> 01:26:29,983
"And all parties have been
arrested
1923
01:26:29,983 --> 01:26:31,985
"On extortion charges, among
other things.
1924
01:26:31,985 --> 01:26:34,921
"And to inform you that the
estate of Mellony Adams
1925
01:26:34,921 --> 01:26:36,457
"Is dropping all charges.
1926
01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:39,493
All money you made is yours
to keep"?
1927
01:26:39,493 --> 01:26:40,527
Yep.
1928
01:26:40,527 --> 01:26:42,195
Holy shit. We get to keep all
that money?
1929
01:26:42,195 --> 01:26:44,831
Oh, shit.
1930
01:26:44,831 --> 01:26:46,333
I'm sorry I betrayed the clan,
brother.
1931
01:26:46,333 --> 01:26:49,270
I promise I will never be in
the wrong again.
1932
01:26:52,005 --> 01:26:54,408
(Fantasy language)
1933
01:26:58,679 --> 01:26:59,680
Hey.
1934
01:27:02,483 --> 01:27:05,185
Um, I saw your pay-per-view.
1935
01:27:05,185 --> 01:27:07,654
Look, I'm sorry.
1936
01:27:07,654 --> 01:27:09,890
Just kiss me.
1937
01:27:11,758 --> 01:27:15,496
Um, I think it's about time
I gave you a real kiss.
1938
01:27:22,035 --> 01:27:23,236
Oh, yeah.
1939
01:27:23,236 --> 01:27:24,738
I'm sorry I made you wait for
so long.
1940
01:27:24,738 --> 01:27:26,573
Oh, I'm sorry for pressuring
you so much.
129351
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