All language subtitles for Grown-Ups.1980.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(CHORAL SINGING)

(ENGINE STARTS)

Bleeding garden is in a state.

- MANDY: Oh, a broken cup here.
- Eh?

It's broke.

You should've wrapped it up
in paper.

I did.

I'll get some concrete down.

Do you want a Jaffa Cake?

Once it's done, it's done, innit?

Here. It's your sister.

Oh, no.

Hello, Mandy.
I couldn't find it.

- You settling in, are you?
- Yeah.

You've had a lovely day
for it, Mandy.

Oh, Mandy.

Hello, Dick.

Oh, isn't it big?

Where is it, Mandy?

- It's upstairs.
- Darling.

(SO LONELY BY THE POLICE
PLAYING QUIETLY ON RADIO)

(TOILET FLUSHING)

That's better.

I see you've got a little
shower, Mandy.

- Yeah.
- GLORIA: This your room?

No, the other one, with the
wardrobe in.

GLORIA: Oh, that's beautiful.

Wallpaper's pretty, Mandy.

No, it don't match
the curtaining.

- You going to redo that?
- Yeah.

I'll give you a hand.
I'll move in for the week.

I like this room.

MANDY: It's the spare room.

GLORIA: Eh, Mand,
this my room, is it?

GLORIA: When are they coming
to do your cooker, Mandy?

- MANDY: Monday.
- Hey, look, Mand,

I'll be able to wave to you
from the office.

It's only five minutes.

We should have got something
cold in.

If I had've thought,
I could've brought you

something hot out.

Here, come on, Dick, drink up.

MANDY: You shouldn't have
bought all this, Glor.

Wasting your money.

What else have I got
to spend it on?

Got to have a housewarming,
ain't you?

- Do you want tonic, Mandy?
- MANDY: No.

Here, I think I'll just see to
that bed before I sit down.

- No, Glor.
- It's all up there, is it?

Headboard, wheels?

- Only take me five minutes.
- MANDY: No, leave it.

Look at him lying there.
He'll be there all night.

MANDY: Glor, where you going?

Just going to the toilet.

I was coming out
of a shop doorway.

I could feel him behind me.

Probably just walking home.

Not going that fast,
he wasn't. I started running.

Nothing is going to happen
to you round here, Glor,

not with all these houses.

There wasn't a soul about, Mandy.

I tell you what,
I'm not going down

that bus station on me own.

- Oh, don't be so stupid.
- I'm not, Mandy.

He's not going to be out here
waiting for you, is he?

You don't know.

You'll have to take her, Dick.

GLORIA: It's only a stone's throw.

- Didn't you get no savs?
- No, they only had roe.

It's all right
if there's a man with you.

What about me, then? I've got
to walk back on me own.

MANDY: No.
Who's going to jump on you?

I'll tell you what, Mandy.

I reckon you've come up
trumps here.

- Private next door.
- I know, I've seen.

It's private
all the way up there.

DICK: Yeah, but it's council
from here down, innit?

Here, come on, Dick, drink up.

Do you want another one, Mandy?

- No.
- Oh, I'm having one.

Oh, that's better.

Give us a fag, Dick.

That's a beautiful house
you've got.

When are you going to have
a little baby?

I can't wait, I can't.

I tell you what, I'm going to
sit on the long seat.

You don't know who's getting on
this time of the night,

squashing you in.

You'll be all right.

I don't like it.
It's all right for you.

Here, have that.

- What do you want?
- What?

For your housewarming.

Dunno.

We'll have to wait and see,
then, won't we?

All right, then?

Are you cold?
Do you want to sit on the bus?

Well, you can get on
if you want.

That's all right.
I'll wait here with you, Dick.

Hey, come on, link me arm
and call me Charlie.

Seems funny, don't it,
sleeping in a strange room?

It's nice, though.

- I mean, a home of your own.
- Yeah.

We can start a family now,
can't we?

What if there's ghosts?
It might be haunted.

(DICK BLOWING AIR)

Don't.

(MANDY LAUGHING)

(ANOTHER NAIL FOR MY HEART
BY SQUEEZE PLAYING ON RADIO)

WOMAN ON PA: Would Dr. Bhanji
please go to Casualty?

Dr. Bhanji, please.

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)

Do you want it with milk
or cream?

WOMAN: Milk, please.

WOMAN: That's 23.

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

Here you are.

You should have heard her
last night, Mandy.

I was only washing me hair
when she started.

"Do it upstairs," she said.

Now, how can you
wash your hair upstairs?

You can't get your head
under them bath taps.

It's easy in the kitchen.

You've got a spout
on both taps,

you can get your head
right under.

- How many does he have?
- Two.

Won't be long, Dick.

Then she started on
about me hair lacquer.

It's all right, I'll do it.

Didn't like the smell
of me hair lacquer.

Well, I don't like it,
it's horrible.

Well, you got to have it,
ain't you?

Otherwise your hair's wispy.

I don't know why you wear
hair lacquer all the time.

It's ever so old-fashioned.

You've got to look smart
for work, Mandy.

You can't have it
just any old how.

It's all right, Glor,
I can cook me own tea.

- All right. I'm only helping.
- Well, you ain't.

The smell of that's
making me hungry.

Well, why don't you go home
for your tea?

All right.

Have you got everything?
Knives and forks?

- Yeah, they're in there.
- Salt and pepper,

- where's that?
- It's in there and all, Glor.

Don't let that get cold,
Mandy. Take it in.

I'll just put a bit
of toast in.

MANDY: I don't want no more, Glor.

GLORIA: It ain't for you,
it's for me.

MANDY: I thought you was going
home for your tea.

Can you spare an egg, Mand?

MANDY: Of course I can spare
an egg.

I'll bring you some up tomorrow.

- I don't want any.
- WOMAN ON TV:... to board up

their shops in readiness

for the Front's march
on Sunday.

The council has advised
local residents to...

♪ Don't know when ♪

♪ But I know
we'll meet again ♪

♪ Some sunny day ♪

This carpet could do
with a sweep.

I want to get a Hoover.

They are dear, aren't they?

I'll get her a Hoover.

(CHEWING LOUDLY)

Glor!

I've got to chew it, ain't I?

Look at him laying there,
set for the night.

Don't you get too comfy,

you're coming down
that bus station with me.

No, I'm on earlies this week.

- Don't be stupid, Dick.
- I've got to get up at five.

Take no notice. He's on lates.

He's trying to get out of it.

MANDY: He's not going down
that bus station

with you again, Glor.

GLORIA: Well, it's early yet,
isn't it?

- MANDY: He's not.
- GLORIA: All right.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

- There's flowers here, Dick.
- Oh, yeah?

Look at all this rubbish.

You want to get this
cleared out.

Who does?

You do.

If you want it done,
you can do it.

- Hey, look, Dick.
- What?

- MANDY: That's Mr. Butcher.
- DICK: Who?

MANDY: You remember,
from school.

DICK: Oh, yeah.

That's why I need some more.

WOMAN: They're usually
in the car.

Oh, bloody hell, Dick,
they live next door.

Hello, Mr. Butcher.

- Hello.
- That's Mr. Butcher, innit?

Yes, it is.

It's our old teacher.

- Oh.
- MANDY: Told you, Dick,

- didn't I?
- DICK: Yeah.

Ralph, come here a minute.

- What's the matter?
- Some of your ex-pupils here.

Hello, Mr. Butcher.

(BUTCHER GRUNTING QUIETLY)

Don't remember us,
does he, Dick?

DICK: At school
when you first come.

MANDY: Oh, yeah,
that's right, yeah,

because we didn't have you
till the fourth form.

- Settling in, are you?
- Yeah.

Good.

Well, come on, then.
Lunchtime.

- Cheerio.
- Bye.

- Oh, Dick, fancy that, eh!
- Come on, it's cold.

Hey, Dick.

What are you, nosing?

No, I'm not nosing,
I'm just having a look at 'em.

Plenty to do here.

- MANDY: It's funny, innit?
- DICK: Yeah.

MANDY: I wouldn't have thought
he'd have been married.

DICK: I hated him.

MANDY:
He used to wobble about.

DICK: He was always going on
about my teeth.

MANDY: It was him that used
to be drunk.

- DICK: No.
- MANDY: It was, Dick.

DICK: Just them funny noises
he used to make.

MANDY: Look at him
in his slippers.

He remembered me.

- Of course he didn't.
- He did.

It's funny, innit,

him going to bed next door
to us?

Funny him getting his oats,
old Butcher.

Aw.

Can't wait to tell Sharon.

She's coming here tomorrow
after work,

have a look at the house.

You never told me
she was coming round.

Well, I'm telling you now,
ain't I?

She ain't seen it yet.

I'm going out.

That's all right.
You don't have to stop in.

I ain't sitting here all night
staring at her ugly mug.

Oh, no.

Who let you out, then?

MANDY: Well, what do you think
of it?

It could do with a good clean.

Well, we want to get
an Hoover.

We've been waiting for you
to come round.

MANDY: Did you find it
all right?

Yeah, nearly missed the alley.

What, the one before
the station?

No, after the station.

DICK: Well, there's only one.

No, there ain't, Dick,
there's two.

- Where?
- Well, there's one

- before the station.
- MANDY: Yeah, that's the one.

- Yeah. There's another one.
- There ain't.

There is, Dick.

If you go over that big bridge
near Wincheap.

- Yeah?
- You walk up Gordon Road,

there's another alley.
It brings you right up

down the back here.

Yeah, top of Oxford Road.

MANDY: Yeah, that's right.

Well, she never come that way.

Which way did you come?

I came over the bridge,

through the station
and down the alley.

Oh, you don't want to do that.

You've come down
the right alley,

but you don't have to go over

that bridge to get to it.

Oh. Well, that's the way
I came, anyway.

Do you want to take
your coat off?

SHARON: You'll have
to get new wallpaper.

MANDY: Oh, no, Sha.
It's all right, this.

The carpet's too small.

Yeah, well, we want to get
a fitted.

What you been doing
with yourself, then?

What's it to you?

You warm enough, Sharon?

SHARON: Yeah, I'm all right.

- Well, do you want a fag?
- SHARON: Yeah.

- There you are.
- Oh,

I'll have one of these,
don't like them.

- Do you want a cup of tea?
- I'll have coffee.

DICK: Ain't you going
to pass them round, then?

You're always on the cadge.

Tight arse.

- You courting?
- SHARON: Don't be stupid.

Are you?

Mind your own business.

Do you want to come
and have a look at me kitchen?

Yeah, okay.

It all needs doing up,
don't it?

MANDY: Yeah.

It's filthy.

This is our bedroom.

It's nice, isn't it?

Oh, you brought
the old curtains

- from Reed Avenue with you.
- Yeah.

Well, I want to get the same
wallpaper to match again.

I want to do in here first.

Yeah, you got a lot on.

Yeah, well, there's two of us.

Oh, well, he'll never lift
a finger, will he?

Glor said she'd lend us
a hand.

- Oh, did she?
- Yeah.

- She been round?
- Yeah, she's been round twice.

This is the spare room.

- It's cold, isn't it?
- It's nice and big, though.

Be all right
for when we have a baby.

Yeah, it's big.

Oh, Sha, guess who we've got
living next door?

- Who?
- Go on, have a guess.

I don't know.

- Butcher.
- What butcher?

Mr. Butcher.

- School?
- Yeah.

- Oh, no. Next door?
- Yeah, I saw him yesterday.

I hope I never see him.

- Who'd marry him?
- Well, she's ever so plain.

I bought half a bottle
of vodka for us tonight.

- What, you made of money?
- Oh, hark at him.

He's the one that goes down
the pub nearly every night.

I bleeding don't.

MANDY: Well, you go there
enough times in a week.

Did you get a few beers in
for me, then?

- No.
- DICK: Nice, that is.

I thought you'd be going down
the pub.

Yeah, well, I might.

SHARON: He was queer,
wasn't he?

Who, Butcher?

He was always drunk.

There you are, I told you.
That's what I said.

He weren't drunk.

- SHARON: He was.
- He weren't.

He just used to make them
funny noises

like he was going to puke.

He used to make me feel sick.

I got some chops for our tea.

Do you want peas or beans
with it?

Don't mind.

He remembered me, all right.

- He didn't.
- DICK: He did.

- You shouldn't have told him.
- That's her,

can't keep her bleeding
mouth shut.

MANDY: He's been lying there
all afternoon.

Yeah, I was up at five.

You might have laid
that stair carpet down.

You should get started.

- What on?
- SHARON: This house.

I'll bet Reed Avenue
ain't the same

without us, is it?

No.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Who's that?

I don't know who it is, do I?

- GLORIA: Hello, Mandy.
- MANDY: Oh, hello, Glor.

GLORIA: Quick,
me arms are dropping off.

- MANDY: What's that?
- GLORIA: Shut your eyes, Dick.

I've got a little surprise
for you.

Guess what?

It's an Hoover, innit?

Mum said it'd be a load
of rubbish.

She said they wouldn't be
getting rid of it

if it was any good,
but I know it's all right.

I've just done all round
my desk at work with it.

I'll have to get some bags
for it, won't I?

I'll fetch you some up.

No, you don't have to do that.

Nice paper, that,
isn't it, Mand?

Yeah, it's a shame
to waste it.

There you are.
That's all right.

There you are.

- Oh, isn't it lovely, Dick?
- Yeah.

- Hey, do a turn with it.
- It's just what we needed.

I was just saying to Sha,
wasn't I?

Yeah, it could do
with a good clean.

It only wants a wipe over.

Any tea in the pot?

MANDY: We were just going
to have our tea.

- Oh, what you having?
- Chops.

Come on, ain't you
going to have a go, Mand?

- Plug it in.
- GLORIA: Are you stopping

- for tea, Sha?
- Yeah.

You've come up from work,
have you?

- Yeah.
- GLORIA: I could half go

a bit of toast meself.

You can have a bit of bacon
with it and all, if you like.

No, a bit of toast will do me.

I don't want to eat you
out of house and home.

DICK: That's all right, Glor.

MANDY: Right, does this
let the handle down?

- Yeah.
- We haven't got

one of those at home.

We've got the other sort.

MANDY: Press this?

- GLORIA: Go on, Mand.
- DICK: Yeah, go on.

(HOOVER WHIRRING)

MANDY: Oh!

MANDY: Oh, it's lovely,

- isn't it, Dick?
- DICK: Yeah.

- Ain't it, Sha?
- Yeah, it's all right.

Oh, I'll go right through
with this tomorrow.

- It's good, ain't it?
- Yeah.

Oh, ta, Glor.

You'll be able
to use that, Dick.

- What?
- I said you'll be able

to use it.

(HOOVER WHIRRING)

GLORIA: That was a lovely bit
of bacon, Mand.

I enjoyed that.

- Do you want one, Sha?
- Ta.

Dick?

Yeah, I'll have one of them.

GLORIA: I'm going up Carol's
tomorrow night, babysitting.

Take them up a bar
of chocolate each,

keep them quiet.

- You courting, Sha?
- No.

She's going out with a bloke
from the underwear department.

Oh, trust you.

Look, you've made her
all embarrassed.

I'm not embarrassed.

MANDY: What's happened
to Roger?

Is that his name?

I've seen him.

Who's that? Roger the Dodger?

GLORIA: Are you still
on the sweet counter,

are you, Sha?

Yeah. I want to move.

- Where to?
- SHARON: Dresses.

Personnel don't like me.

I've been two years on sweets,
and it's not fair.

'Cause some of the girls,

they've only been there
a couple of months

and gone straight on to dresses.

GLORIA: Oh.

Is Roger still in
the furniture department?

He works there as well,
does he?

- Yeah.
- Oh!

- Does he get the discount?
- Everybody gets discount.

That's handy, Mandy,
you ever want a wardrobe.

Yeah, what's his second name, then?

- What's it to you?
- I might know him.

- SHARON: You don't know him.
- Don't be so stupid.

- DICK: Yeah, I know him.
- Do you?

DICK: Yeah, he works
in the furniture department.

Oh, she just said that.

Yeah, ugly bloke.

- He's married.
- Oh, shut up, Dick.

Mmm. There's sugar
in this coffee.

Oh, you've got Dick's.

I ain't drinking that.
She's had her mouth in it.

Oh, don't be so silly.

Which side of the cup
did she sip?

MANDY: Take no notice.

GLORIA: Be wedding bells
for you next, then, Sha?

SHARON:
No, I've got more sense.

GLORIA: Yeah, you and me both.

Are you going to crack open
that vodka, then?

No, not yet, we're still
drinking our cups of coffee.

You got some in,
have you, Mand?

No.

I've only got a bit,
just for me and Sha.

Thought you were going out, anyway.

Never said I wasn't.

- He is, aren't you?
- Yeah.

GLORIA: You go and have a drink with your
mates, Dick,

leave us to have a chinwag,

three girls together.

I thought you was going home, Glor.

I haven't seen Sharon
for ages, have I, Sha?

Met our new neighbors yesterday.

GLORIA: Yeah,
what they like, Mand?

He was our old teacher
at school.

No. What's his name?

Mr. Butcher.

- She wouldn't remember him.
- No.

Butcher. What did he teach?

Religious knowledge.

No, we had Flicky Fleet.

- Yeah, we had him as well.
- We did, and all.

Flicky Fleet never took RK.

He did!

I had him.

- He used to like me.
- We had Motram.

MANDY: Yeah, we had her,
but we had Flicky and all.

Butcher took over from Flicky.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Mondays and Fridays.

DICK: Flicky Fleet
took Geography.

MANDY: He didn't, Dick.
He took RK.

Oh, he won't remember.

I was always hopping off, anyway.

Yeah, I know you were.

I wonder if old Hughes
is still headmaster?

- Piggy.
- Dirty old bugger, he was.

MANDY: Yeah, he was and all,
used to get us in his office.

SHARON: I had to sit
on his knee.

He used to throw things
on the floor

and make you pick them up.

He did that to me once.

- Was minis them, and all.
- I never wore no mini.

MANDY: Oh, you didn't,
but we did.

He was all right, old Piggy.

All right if you was a boy.

MANDY: Oh, Sha,

- who was that teacher?
- Who?

The one that took old John
Booker back to his house.

- He weren't bent.
- Oh, course he was, Dick.

SHARON: He gave him his tea.

He was just helping him out
with his drawing.

Oh, we didn't half
take the mickey out of him.

You used to go out
with John Booker.

Yeah. He was good at painting.

He had ginger hair,
didn't he?

MANDY: Yeah.

You should have stuck
with him.

MANDY: He's in insurance now.

GLORIA: Is he, Mand? Where?

I dunno, but it's not
in Canterbury.

SHARON: Went to London.

- Oh, did he?
- He was a right creep.

GLORIA: I wonder
if it's changed much?

DICK: Yeah, kids these days.

They all smoke nowadays,
don't they, Dick?

We used to smoke.

GLORIA: We wasn't allowed
to smoke.

Nor was we. Never stopped us.

I ain't been up that way
for ages.

I wonder if old Butcher
is still up there?

Oh, yeah, I wonder if he is?

I bet half of them are dead.

- Who?
- Teachers.

Pity he's not dead.

That's not a very nice thing
to say, Sharon.

(SNICKERING)

What are you laughing at?

You.

Intercept!

Well done!

Jesus loved his enemies,
did he not?

- Come on.
- STUDENTS: Yes.

Who ruled the country
that Jesus lived in?

- STUDENTS: The Romans.
- The Romans.

But he forgave them.

What did he say on the cross?

Not you. Foster.

FOSTER: Father forgive them

because they know not
what they do.

- Say that again.
- FOSTER: Father forgive them

because they know not
what they do.

BUTCHER: Is that right, Wendy?

- Yes.
- BUTCHER: Say it.

WENDY: Father forgive them
'cause they know not

- what they do.
- BUTCHER: 'Cause?

'Cause they know not
what they do?

- Caroline, say it.
- CAROLINE: Forgive them,

Father, for they do not know
what they do.

For they know not
what they do.

Hello.

Everything taking shape?

- Oh, yeah.
- Good.

Cheerio, then.

Is that you?

Hello.

BUTCHER: The tea's still warm,
I think.

What tea?

BUTCHER: What?

What tea is still warm?

The tea.

CHRISTINE:
There isn't any tea.

The tea I made.

Oh, you've made some tea,
have you?

Well...

it must have gone for a walk
in the garden.

I shouldn't think it has.

- What's that? Scotch mist?
- CHRISTINE: No.

It's a teapot...

without any tea in it.

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

GLORIA:
There are the elephants.

He's lost a tusk.

Here, half past two

when they came home,
Carol and Eric.

I don't know why you put up
with it.

GLORIA: Well, you can't leave
three little children

their age on their own,
can you?

Where'd they been?

GLORIA: Don't know,
some do at a posh hotel.

I've missed this,
not having me clock.

You want to keep that, Mand.

What's the time, Glor?

I reckon 20 to eight.

Then Mum started,

said she'd been worrying
herself sick.

MANDY: What's she doing up?

She says,

"You're asking for trouble
walking the streets

that time of night."

You're old enough to be out
on your own, ain't you?

Well, I would normally
get a lift, wouldn't I?

But he was so drunk, Mandy.
Two blokes brought him home.

Oh, what you brought this
with you for?

I think it's horrible.

I know, but Dick said
his Mum used to love it.

Aw.

Eh, Mand, one of these blokes
says to me...

Ever so handsome he was,
smart bloke.

He said, "If I'd have knowed
you was here, darling,"

he says, "I wouldn't have
gone to Dover."

- There's a nail here.
- GLORIA: I dunno who he was.

I don't know why you had
to give them their tea.

GLORIA: Well, I wouldn't have
minded if they ate

the cheese on toast
I made them,

but they wouldn't
look at that.

I had to eat that.

Then Mark
said he wanted sardines.

Well, they never had
no sardines,

so I opened up
a tin of pilchards.

Then he says,
"I don't want them," he says,

"I don't like
the tomato sauce.

I only like the pilchards."

Then little Sandy starts.

She says she likes
the tomato sauce,

didn't like the pilchards,

so I had to stand there,

separating the tomato sauce
from the pilchards.

Come on, Dobbin.

Oh, no, Glor.

That's too much, innit,
with the deers and all?

Put it on the sideboard.

It's like a farmyard in here.

You should hear that
little Rod's language, Mandy.

He kept saying that F-word.

Then he kept saying things
about my bust.

I didn't know where to look.

I don't know
where he gets it from.

But they're lovely kids, really.

Oh, it's me maracas.

(HUMMING)

Where are you going
to put them?

On here.

I think she's got
a cheek, Glor.

I mean, I wouldn't ask someone
to come and babysit

and keep them hanging around
till gone half past two.

Well, I won't mind when I do
it for you, will I?

I'll just go and sleep up
in that little back room,

stop the night.

There's a nice
little soap dish, Mand.

It's not a soap dish,
it's an ashtray.

You put a bit of soap
in there,

what you're not going to use,

stand it on the side.

Well, Dick's been using it
as an ashtray.

Where is he, anyway?

Yeah, that's what I'd like
to know.

MAN: Oh, no!

(ALL CHEERING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

CHRISTINE: We're playing you
on Wednesday.

- Oh, yeah?
- CHRISTINE: Mmm.

Hockey?

Netball.

(RALPH CLEARING THROAT)

RALPH: Saw Barbara
at lunchtime.

I tried to phone her
at lunchtime.

She was having her lunch.

CHRISTINE:
This was after lunch.

Mmm.

Well, she was probably
taking a class.

Within the lunch hour,
but after lunch.

I've got to finalize
the arrangements

for the match.

Got any marking?

A little, yeah.
I'll do it later.

Mmm.

BUTCHER: What's for afters?

Pineapple rings.

That's all?

Cream.

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

I tell you what, Mandy,

you'd save on your gas bill
if you had these doors shut.

That wants a new bolt.

No, I like having
the space, Glor.

But you've got the same space

whether they're open or shut,
ain't you?

And you've got the extra room.

Yeah, but I wouldn't be able
to hear the telly, would I,

when I'm doing me cooking?

Well, you can have a little
radio out there, can't you?

There you are.

MANDY: It's ever so small
in here now, Glor.

Ah, but that would make
a nice little dining room,

you know, Mand.

MANDY: Well, it is a dining
room already.

Here, look, it's too small.

I think it's cozy.

Let's have a look in here.

MANDY: It's the brown, innit?

GLORIA: You could have it
done in another color.

MANDY: Oh, no.

GLORIA: You could have it
done red.

No, I like the brown.

It's just that
with the doors closed,

it's too much, innit?

It's too dark.

You could have glass
put in there.

Oh, yeah.

That'll cost a bit,
wouldn't it?

Have it done a panel
at a time.

MANDY: Mind you, Glor,
it'll be all right

for when we have a baby,
won't it?

Yeah, you can shut the doors,

you can keep them in here,
out of harm's way,

whilst you're doing
your cooking.

That's right.

You'll be able to suit
yourselves, won't you?

Yeah. Well, you've got 'em
if you want 'em.

That's it.

That's better.

L-shaped, innit?

I don't like that there.

I'll have it on the sideboard.

BUTCHER: Get me a biscuit.

Just a minute.

BUTCHER: I want a Garibaldi.

What are you doing?

I'm sorting out
the electricity bill.

I'll have a bourbon.

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

I bumped into our friend
from next door this evening.

He hasn't got a great deal
to say for himself, has he?

They never have.

CHRISTINE:
Do you remember them?

Well, I don't remember him.

Oh, you remember her, do you?

BUTCHER: No.

I don't remember her.

(GRUNTING)

There you are, you see?

That's the most
famous picture there.

Oh, yes, I've seen that.

There, you see,
the newspapers of 1934

would insist
on euphemistically

referring to him as a surgeon,

but he was in point of fact
a Harley Street gynecologist.

Of course, we didn't have
wombs in those days, did we?

Thank you.

He did in fact
take four photographs,

but only those two came out.

Oh, what a shame.

I suppose it could be true.

Of course it's true.
No doubt about it.

But is there any actual proof
of the monster's existence?

Of course there is.
There's abundant proof.

You know what your trouble is,
don't you?

You've got no faith.

I know where you get
that from, as well.

You get it from your aged,

ecclesiastical dinosaur
of a father,

that's where you get it from.
No faith, no belief.

I think that was uncalled for.

Pottering around his parish.

Faith, hope, charity,
unidentified flying objects,

paranormal phenomena, telepathy,

ectoplasm, life after death, God.

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

Going to tackle that marking?

BUTCHER: Look, I shall tackle
that marking

in my own good time!

Do you mind?

I've lost my place now.
I don't know where I am.

(GRUNTING)

Found it?

BUTCHER: I've started
a new chapter now.

Oh, good.

(BUTCHER GRUNTING)

(KEY TURNING)

- Is that you, Dick?
- DICK: Yeah.

(EXCLAIMING)

Bloody hell, what's going on?

- Key don't fit.
- Oh, give it here.

Well, that's the wrong one.
That's the key to Reed Avenue.

Get in.

Oh, you got it all out.

Yeah, I have.

I thought someone was trying
to break in.

Who, a rapist?

Well, it could have been anybody.

It could have been a burglar.

We ain't got nothing to nick.

- Where've you been?
- Where do you think I've been?

I suppose you've been
spending all our money,

buying other people rounds
of drinks.

Look at you, you've had a few
and all, ain't you?

You going to stand there
moaning all night?

No, I'm not.
I'm going up to bed.

What's the matter with you?

I'll tell you
what's the matter with me.

I wouldn't have minded
going out for a drink tonight.

But what have I been doing?
I've been stuck here

unpacking this lot
with Gloria.

You don't think about me,
do you?

And make sure you turn
this light out.

I had a game of pool
down there.

I nearly won.

Pity you didn't, then, innit?

Think I'm going to stop
taking this soon.

What for?

It's early days yet, innit?

I don't want to leave it
too late, Dick.

Start thinking about it soon.

We got enough on our plate,
haven't we?

Oh, Dick, your breath.

Do you know, sometimes I think
it would be really nice

if some of these
were in English.

"We was half-way across
Atlantic Ocean,

"when in the distant
we saw a boat.

"At first, we didn't take
much notice,

until we got a bit closer

"and never saw nobody.

"Then we got a bit worried.

"I wonder if the boat
has a mutiny.

"So as we got right up
to the boat,

we lowered a small boat
and went board."

She's not the only one.

"We saw the name of the boat.
It was called Marie Celeste."

(GRUNTING)

Is the end in sight?

No.

Ah. "I am one of the crew
of the ship Dei Gratia."

Well, that's something.

"I am writing
my strange account

"of the ship Marie Celeste.

"When I boarded the ship,
there was no life at all.

"Nothing was out of place,
but everything was shipshape.

"My story is that
I think they passed through

the Bermuda Triangle."

There you are.

One of the great mysteries
of the world

solved in six lines.

(GRUNTING)

Here it is in two
and a half lines.

"The crew of our ship
was sailing

across the Atlantic.

It was about 3:00 p.m.
on the 5 of December."

I think Tracy must have
gone down with the ship.

You find a use for this?

- I beg your pardon?
- Wood.

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

That's no use to anybody.

I'll probably burn it.

Well, make sure
you mind my shed when you do.

Oh, no,
I'll do it up the garden.

BUTCHER: Can't do that.

They'll be down on you
like a ton of bricks.

Who will?

BUTCHER:
The authorities will.

- Will they?
- Yes.

(GRUNTING)

Woo-hoo!

Hello, Dick.

Oh, hello.
You must be Mr. Butcher.

That's right, yes.

My little sister lives here,

your new next-door neighbor.

She's told me
all about you, Mr. Butcher,

about being up the school.

I used to go there, you know.

Of course,
that was before your time.

- Mandy in, is she, Dick?
- Yeah, she's in there.

Doing your garden,
are you, Mr. Butcher?

Yes, yes.

That's a nice little
garden, ain't it, Dick?

Yeah, she's in there.

I'm gasping
for a cup of tea.

- Do you want one, Dick?
- Yeah.

Do you want a cup,
Mr. Butcher?

No, I'm all right, thank you.

- GLORIA: Are you sure?
- Yes, thank you.

All right. Well, ta-ra,
nice to have met you.

Woo-hoo, Mand!

(DOOR CLOSES)

You going out later on?

Of course we're going out.
It's Saturday, innit?

Where are you going, Dick?

- Dunno yet.
- Going for a drink.

Oh, good, I fancy a drink.

Might be meeting
some friends, Glor,

- going out with them.
- Oh, are you?

What time you meeting them?

I don't know, I'll just
meet them down there.

Yeah, there's a crowd.

Down the Waterloo?

I dunno.

Oh, well,
I'll sit in and watch telly.

It would be nice
to watch the color.

I'll be gone by the time
you get back, mind.

I can't sit here all night.

Here you are, Dick.
Go on, have one.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo, Mand!

Hello, Mand,
you got five minutes

to nip down the town with me?

I've seen this frock,

I don't know
whether I like it or not.

I put a deposit on it,
but I don't know

whether it suits me or not.
I can't see it from the back.

MANDY: No, sorry, Glor.

I've been down there
once today.

Oh, I don't know what to do.

Well, come in, anyway.

I'll have a cup of tea.

I'll nip down there
in the week.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo!

(BBC NEWS THEME
PLAYING ON TV)

Hello, Dick.
Here I am again.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE)

I can't stop!
I'll see you later! Ta-ra!

- Milk or cream?
- Cream.

(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo!

Don't look at me like that.
It's not my fault, is it?

Well, she's your bleeding
sister, ain't she?

Yeah, but she won't take
the hint, will she?

No, she won't, will she?

She's soft in the bleeding
head, isn't she?

Don't get no peace
in your own home.

You don't have to tell me,
Dick. I know.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo!

Oh, bloody hell.
I've had enough of this.

You've got to have
a word with her.

MANDY: I dunno why you don't say

something to her, Dick.

- Well, what can I say?
- GLORIA: Hello, Mand,

just thought I'd pop up
for five minutes.

- Hello, Dick.
- Hi.

GLORIA: Any tea in the pot?

You can't stop here, Glor,
'cause we're going out.

I only popped in
for a cup of tea, Mand.

- What time you going?
- In a minute.

As soon as we've had our tea.

I'll just sit here
till you go.

- Now look, Glor!
- What?

You are going home,
ain't you?

- Yes.
- Right.

GLORIA: I'll just come
with you so far,

keep you company.

MANDY: You going down
the bus station?

GLORIA: Yeah.

Ta-ra, then, Glor.

GLORIA: I'll tell you what.
I'll buy you both a drink.

No, you won't.
I'll buy me own beer.

You keep your money
in your pocket, Dick.

Come on, I'll treat you.

I thought you was going home.

I'll just pop in
for a quick one.

Yeah, I know what
your quick ones are like.

GLORIA: What do you mean?

You start with one,
then there's another

and then there's another one.

Before you know it,
you've stopped all night.

I only want to come
for a drink.

What's the matter with that?

We're going on our own, Glor.

GLORIA: But you will be on your own

after I've gone, won't you?

Eh?

Come on.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

GLORIA: When are you going
to have a little baby, then?

Girl in accounts
is having one.

I dunno.

Can't wait,
I can't, to get knitting.

We've been talking about it.

GLORIA: Have you, Dick?

- I fancy getting a dog.
- GLORIA: A dog?

What do you want
to get a dog for?

Get a little pup.

- Chew all the furniture up.
- Nah.

It's going to cost a bit
to feed, innit?

It costs a bleeding sight
more feeding a baby.

GLORIA: Well,
you get family allowance

with a baby, don't you?

You have to buy a license
for a dog.

MANDY: We don't want to get the dog

until we have got a baby,
do we?

Something to play with.

They got a list up at work
about a trip to Paris.

MANDY: Are you going to get
your round in before you go?

- You ready for one?
- MANDY: Yeah.

You ready for one, Dick?

- Was it bitter?
- Lager.

- Do you want some crisps?
- MANDY: No.

Can I have a pint of lager, please?

- What's the matter with you?
- She ain't going to go

till she's got her
round in, is she?

We let her in
to have one drink,

you tell her to go
and buy another one.

Where's the sense in that?

I told you
when we come in the pub,

we should have let her
bought a round

but you wouldn't have it,
would you?

I don't want her
buying my beer.

She'll go after
she's had this one.

Well, she'd better
bleeding go, or I'm going.

It's all right, she'll go.

Do you want tonic, Mand?

Yeah.

- Here.
- MANDY: Ta.

I got you a double.

MANDY: You got a double,
and all?

Yeah, not going to get you one

and not have one meself,
am I?

You're going home
after you've had that drink,

- ain't you?
- Yeah, all right, Mandy.

I ain't never been to Paris.

It'd be exciting,
wouldn't it?

You'd better take it easy,
you two, on doubles.

- I can take me drink.
- So can I.

MANDY: Mind you,
you've had three, ain't you?

Well, same as you. I've
only had the same as you.

- I know, but I can take it.
- GLORIA: Well, so can I.

When have you ever seen
me drunk?

MANDY: Of course
I've seen you drunk.

- When?
- You was drunk

at our wedding.

GLORIA: Well, that was
a celebration, wasn't it?

Everyone gets drunk
at a celebration, don't they?

MANDY: Keep your voice down.

You're getting just like her.

Oh, it's bloody charming,
that is, isn't it?

I'm not going home.

Now, look here, Glor,

you said you was having
one drink here

with me and Dick,
then you was going home.

You don't know
the half of it, you don't.

What's that supposed to mean?

GLORIA: Never you mind.

MANDY: What's going on there?

- As if you didn't know.
- MANDY: I don't know.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Ain't she been talking
to you, then?

What about?

Coming up.

MANDY: No.

She's only been going on
about me coming up.

(SOBBING)

Glor.

I'm not even allowed
to visit you now.

MANDY: Don't be so stupid.
She don't mean it, does she?

GLORIA: She bloody does.

She gets on my bloody nerves.

MANDY: You got some tissues
in there?

Perhaps you ought
to stay with her.

I'll see you later.

Don't be so stupid.

(GLORIA SOBBING)

MANDY: Come on, now.

I've had enough of it,
I have.

I shall end up in Chartham
if I have any more of her.

MANDY: Don't be so silly.

I don't know why you don't
find yourself a flat, Glor.

I'm looking, Mandy.
I've had a look in the paper.

I'll find somewhere.

Where's she going to find
a flat round here?

MANDY: Oh, shut up, Dick.

If I stop in, it's wrong.
If I go out, it's wrong.

Bloody hell.

You're getting yourself
in a state, you are, girl.

(SOBBING) I can't help it.

MANDY: Come on, you're in
a pub, now, remember.

Look at you.

You don't have to put up
with it.

MANDY: Shh!
Keep your voice down, Glor.

Come on.

DICK:
Here, have one of these.

Come on, get some
of that drink down you.

I only come up
a couple of times a week.

(SOBBING)

Anyway, the bus comes,

me and Dick standing
on the pavement,

she walks out in front of it.

What the bloody hell
is she doing?

The bus had to swerve
round her,

and she's trying to get on,
she's put her foot up,

she slips down and she ends
up in the gutter.

Anyway, we get her
on the bus, get her sat down

and she's screaming
her head off.

She only wants me and Dick
to go home with her.

I said,
"I'm not coming home with you

at this time of night.
"I've got to come

all the way back again."

You want to tell her.
I would.

Been busy?

No. It's dead.

MANDY: Is it?

I wish I were
still on sweets.

Have you seen Roger?

Yeah, I've seen him.
See him every day.

Can't avoid him.

What, are you chucking him?

Yeah, I might.

Maureen's late back again.

Been talking about
starting a family again.

SHARON: It makes me sick.

He's not having it.

No, he wouldn't.

Likes your money coming
in every week.

Oh, well.

I'll be seeing you.

- Yeah, see you. Bye.
- MANDY: Bye.

I think I'll stroll round
the corner for a quick one.

Oh, well, hang on a minute
and I'll come with you.

No need to drag
yourself out.

I won't be long.

Oh, it's all right,
I fancy a drink.

DICK:
Be all blokes down there.

Don't be so stupid.

What's the matter with you?

She ain't coming round,
is she?

I dunno.

We'd better get out quick,
in case she does.

Come on, then,
if you're coming.

Hang on, Dick.

Do you want a boiled egg, Dick?

No, I bleeding don't.

I reckon Dell had seven,
you know.

He never.

I was counting with you,
and you had your six,

and I thought he had seven
and Linda said he had seven.

Yeah, he might have done,

but he definitely
never had eight.

Bloody mad, the pair of you.

Alan only had one,
didn't he?

I don't blame him.

They don't half stink,
Dick, them pickled eggs.

I proved my point, though,
didn't I?

Yeah, but he must have had
32 in the film, Dick.

Don't be so stupid.
It's trick photography.

Hazell thought it was
Marlon Brando, didn't she?

Hazell don't know
her arse from her elbow.

Do you think he looks like
Burt Lancaster, old Dell?

No.

Don't look nothing
like Burt Lancaster.

He's too fat.

He's only fat 'cause of
all the beer he drinks.

I drink more beer than him.

I had two more than him.
He turned one down.

Mind you,
when she said Marlon Brando,

I couldn't remember.

It was Burt Lancaster.

Everybody agreed
it was Burt Lancaster,

except her.

I'm gonna stop taking this
at the end of the month.

No, you ain't.

I don't want to leave it
too long, Dick.

We want to have a family
when we're young.

You ain't coming off
that yet.

I wouldn't get pregnant
straight away, would I?

You will with me, girl.

Takes a while, doesn't it?

Yeah.

We'll talk about it
next year.

I've made me mind up, Dick.

You've done what?

I don't want to wait
till then.

You've made your mind up?

What the bleeding hell
are you talking about?

I've told you, Dick.

I'm coming off the pill.

Yeah, and I've told you
you're not till I say so.

Well, it's me that's
going to have the baby.

- No, you ain't.
- Yes, I am.

Bloody hell,
you wanted to have a baby

when we was at Reed Avenue.

I was going to come off
the pill then.

It was different then.

What do you mean
it was different?

We've got our own home now.
We can have a baby.

Bloody hell, Dick,
your dad's been dead

- over six months now.
- Now, you listen.

We'll have kids
when I say so,

and you'll stay on the pill,

even if I have to ram it
down your bleeding throat.

Oh, yeah,
I'd like to see you try.

- Oh, would you?
- Yeah.

Look, Dick,
I'm going to have a baby,

and the only way
you're going to stop me

is by going without it.

Well, that's no problem.

I'll get it somewhere else.

Oh, yeah,
where are you gonna get it?

(DICK BURPING)

MANDY: Nice and dry, is it?

Hello.

Hello.

No, I'm just putting it out, actually.

Have you got
a washing machine?

CHRISTINE: Yes, I have,
as a matter of fact.

I haven't. I have to go
down the launderette.

Oh, dear.

I suppose you've got
a tumble dryer and all?

No, I just trust to luck.

Look at all this glass.

It's dangerous, isn't it?

Yes, I think it is, a bit.

Especially if you're gonna
have kids about the place.

Oh, yes, definitely.

You haven't got any children,
have you?

No, we haven't, actually.

We're gonna have a baby.

Oh, congratulations.
When's it due?

Oh, no.
I'm not pregnant yet.

I'm planning on it, though.

I see.

Well, you don't want to
leave it too late, do you?

I mean, you want to start
having a family

when you're young.

Shame about this greenhouse,
isn't it?

Yeah.

I think I'll get my husband
to pull it down.

It's no use to us.

Apparently, the greenhouse
is coming down next door.

It's been coming down
for years.

Well, it's coming down
for good now.

They want the space
for a play area.

Oh, yes?
She's expecting, is she?

No, she isn't, actually,

but they are planning
a family.

I bet she is.
I bet she's pregnant.

CHRISTINE: She isn't.

(GRUNTING)

It's us who ought
to have the greenhouse.

Well, why don't you
put it to them?

Ask her or ask him,

if you think
you can make use of it.

Grow some tomatoes,
whatever you grow.

Offer them
a couple of pounds.

I don't want a greenhouse.

What are you talking about?
You just said you did.

I know.

I'd just rather have
had the play area.

- Go on.
- No.

Well, I'm bleeding
telling you,

make me a cup of tea.

Make your own bloody tea
for once, can't you?

What's the matter with you?

I'm doing me housework.

You've only got to put
a bag in a cup.

You ain't getting that
bleeding thing out, either.

Well, when else
am I going to do it?

It's the only day I get.

Look,
I get one day off a week.

If you don't want to
hear it, go out.

- Get out of here.
- Get off.

Don't you do that to me.

- You're pushing your luck.
- Yeah, so are you.

I'll make me own
bleeding tea.

(DREAMING BY BLONDIE
PLAYING IN SHOP)

- What do you think of this?
- No, it's too big.

Doesn't go with the skirt.

How much is this skirt?

£7.99.

It's cheaper than
the bloody top, innit?

- Yeah, it looks cheap.
- It's nice, this skirt, Sha.

I don't know
why you don't try it on.

I wouldn't be
seen dead in that.

They're coming back, minis.

I don't care.

I reckon
if you've got good legs,

- you should show them.
- What for?

(DREAMING BY BLONDIE
PLAYING IN SHOP)

Waste of time.

That's better, isn't it?
It's tighter.

It's too small.

Let's have a look
at that one.

I thought you didn't like
that one.

Well,
I might as well try it on.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo!

(SOFTLY) Oh, bloody hell.

What you doing here?

Just come round.
Kettle's on.

That's all we need, isn't it?

Look at Dick.

I bet he's in a right
stinking mood.

- Get in here.
- Get off.

SHARON: Don't slam the door
in my face.

MANDY:
Don't be so bloody rude.

- Come in, Sharon.
- DICK: Where you been?

She's been sitting here
for two bleeding hours.

She's staying the night.

She's even brought her
nightie with her.

Right.

What's this about you
stopping the night here?

Thought I would, Mand,
if that's all right.

- Well, you can't.
- Well, I can't go home.

- Why not?
- She's chucked me out.

- Don't be so stupid.
- She has, Mandy.

MANDY: Look, Glor, what
goes on between you and Mum

is nothing to do
with me and Dick.

GLORIA: All right.

MANDY:
You're not stopping here.

All right, Mandy.

I don't know why you
don't say nothing to her.

What are you talking about?
I told her but yap, yap, yap,

all throughGrandstand.
I turned it off.

She don't take
no bleeding notice.

What you doing?

Making us all
a nice cup of tea.

- Well, don't.
- That's all right, Mand,

- I don't mind.
- Well, I do.

Go and sit yourself down.

Gloria,
I can make my own tea.

All right, please yourself.

- You all right, Sharon?
- Yeah.

Gloria, you're not
stopping here tonight.

Don't take it out
on me, Mandy,

just 'cause you've had
a row with Dick.

What have you been
telling her?

- I ain't said nothing.
- GLORIA: Yes, you did.

Can't keep your bloody
mouth shut, can you?

We'd better leave it there,
then, shall we?

DICK:
What are you talking about?

The kettle's boiling.

Gloria!

Now, you leave things alone
in my kitchen.

Mind my kidneys, Mandy!

I hardly touched you.

You go pushing people.

Lucky I'm not expecting.

MANDY: Don't you make
yourself comfortable.

You're not stopping here.

Why not?
You've got plenty of room.

Look, Glor, this is our house

and we don't have no bloody
privacy here these days.

I can have a cup of tea,
can't I?

No, you can't.
And you're not stopping here

for the evening, neither.

I'm having a night
in on me own with Sharon.

- DICK: Oh, are you?
- Yes, I am.

Yeah, well, I live here
and all, you know.

You said you was going out.

It's nothing to do with you.

You going out on your own,
are you, Dick?

MANDY: You mind your own
bleeding business.

He'll do
whatever he wants to.

Oi! Get some tea.

If your sister ain't out
of here in five minutes,

I'm bleeding
clocking her one.

I never bloody
invited her here, did I?

DICK:
You want me to hit her?

- Is that what you want?
- MANDY: Yeah, start throwing

your weight around. That'll
do a lot of good, won't it?

DICK:
Well, you get her out, then.

- Where are you going?
- Upstairs.

- Gloria!
- I'm going to the toilet.

Right, when you've done
in there, you're going home.

Bleeding football results
will be through in a minute.

(TOILET FLUSHING)

(FOOTSTEPS IN HALLWAY)

She's gone in that
bloody spare bedroom.

Gloria!

(RUNNING UP STAIRS)

MANDY: What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?

GLORIA: Don't you push me!

What do you think
you're doing?

DICK: Right!
You two, get down here now!

GLORIA: Pushing me
down the bleeding stairs.

There's something going
on here I don't know about.

MANDY: Well, it'll make
a change for you,

wouldn't it,
you nosey parker?

Right, you shut your mouth.
You two, get out.

GLORIA: That's nice,
isn't it? Charming.

MANDY: She's stopping here.

You're asking for it,
you are.

Don't you talk to my sister
like that, Dick.

You mind your own business.

You'll get a back-hander
and all.

Don't you threaten me, neither.

Come on, Sharon,
get your coat on.

Don't start bringing her
into it.

She's staying here.
Come on, you're going home.

I'm not leaving you here
on your own with him, Mandy.

- Get her out.
- Get your coat on.

- I can dress myself.
- Will you put it on?

- You put it down!
- All right.

- What you doing?
- Go on, get out!

This is your doing, Dick!

- MANDY: Out!
- GLORIA: Mandy!

- Out!
- Mandy!

(GLORIA SOBBING)

- I'm not having that.
- GLORIA: Mandy!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Don't you answer that door.

Mandy!

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

She's gone round the back.

Mandy, what are you doing?

- Go on, go on get out!
- Gloria, go home!

(SOBBING) Mandy!

- Gloria, will you go home?
- DICK: Leave her!

(SOBBING)

Mr. Butcher!

Mr. Butcher!

Can I help you?

- I want Mr. Butcher!
- Excuse me!

- Mr. Butcher!
- CHRISTINE: Ralph!

- Mr. Butcher!
- CHRISTINE: Ralph!

Will you come down here
and open this door, please?

Gloria, you open this door!

Piss off, you!

MANDY:
Don't tell me to piss off!

Mr. Butcher!
Oh, Mr. Butcher, please!

CHRISTINE:
What are you doing?

She's after me!

CHRISTINE:
Will you come down, please?

- What are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything.

- Mind out of the way.
- MANDY: Where is she?

- Christine, come here!
- CHRISTINE: I don't know.

- Christine!
- DICK: Mandy!

- What's going on?
- She's a bit aerated.

- What?
- Glor. I'll get her down.

Can I go up?

- Where's the toilet?
- It's there.

- Gloria! She's in here.
- She's in the bathroom.

Bloody locked the door.
Gloria!

I'm warning you,
there's gonna be hell

- to pay for this.
- Mind your back!

Dick, will you stop
pushing me around?

I'll push you down the
bleeding stairs in a second.

BUTCHER:
Now everybody stand still.

- Shut up!
- Ralph!

Come on, girl, out you come!

BUTCHER: What's going on?

Gloria, I'll break
your bleeding neck.

- You! I'm talking to you.
- Shut up!

Don't you talk to me
like that.

- Ralph, will you be quiet?
- Don't you start.

MANDY: Will you come out
of there now?

I will not be abused
in my own house.

Gloria, I'll break this door down

and tear your bleeding
head off!

- Now get out here!
- MANDY: Gloria!

- I won't. It's outrageous.
- Ralph, just hush.

- Gloria, come on.
- Gloria!

GLORIA: I'm not coming out
while he's there, the bully.

- Who?
- GLORIA: You.

MANDY:
Don't be so bloody stupid.

GLORIA: He tried
to punch me in the face.

Of course he didn't.
He only said that

because you make him
so bloody angry,

- didn't you, Dick?
- Yeah.

GLORIA: Liar!

Look, nobody is gonna
hurt you. Come out.

GLORIA:
You liar, get out of it.

Gloria, come on.

GLORIA: I'm not coming out
while he's there.

MANDY: Oh, God.

Why don't you wait downstairs?

- Yes, go on.
- MANDY: Go on, Dick.

Look, Gloria,
I ain't going to hurt you.

You're being very silly.

GLORIA:
Tell him to go, Mr. Butcher.

BUTCHER: I've told him once.

GLORIA:
Well, tell him a-bloody-gain.

- Get down those stairs.
- MANDY: Go on!

Yeah, all right.
There you are, Glor.

- I'm going downstairs.
- GLORIA: (SOBBING)

Get back to your own house.

Now, Gloria,
Dick's gone downstairs.

GLORIA: No, he ain't.
It's a trick!

- Oh!
- He has.

- GLORIA: He ain't.
- He has.

I told him to go
and he's gone.

GLORIA:
I don't believe you.

You've got no faith, woman.
Faith, hope, charity.

- Ralph!
- There you are, Gloria.

Now,
Dick's gone downstairs.

- Haven't you, Dick?
- DICK: Yeah.

- GLORIA: I can hear him.
- Dick, get down them stairs!

- Go on!
- Yeah, all right. I'm going.

There you are, Glor.

I'm going down the stairs, look.

There you are, all right?

- He's gone.
- There you are, he's gone,

- hasn't he, Mr. Butcher?
- Yes.

MANDY: Now,
if you come out now,

I'll take you home.

- What's she doing?
- (GLORIA SOBBING)

GLORIA: I can't go home,
I told you.

I don't mean home.

I mean our house next door,
our home.

Just come out.

(GLORIA SOBBING)

GLORIA:
Is Mrs. Butcher there?

Yes, what of it?

I want Mrs. Butcher.

(MR. BUTCHER
GRUNTING QUIETLY)

Here I am.

- GLORIA: Mrs. Butcher?
- Yes.

(GLORIA SOBBING)

GLORIA:
Can I have a cup of tea?

Yes, of course you can.

Gloria, that is it!

- Christine.
- What?

- Don't put the kettle on.
- What is the matter with you?

- Christine!
- MANDY: Gloria,

I've had enough of you
and your bloody tears today.

(MANDY RATTLING DOOR)

Don't do that
to my door handle.

- You'll break it.
- Right, I'm sorry.

I should think so, too.

Now, look,
your brother-in-law

has gone away.
Everything's quiet,

and there's absolutely
no reason

why you shouldn't come out.

This is a decent
Christian household.

There you are, Glor.

There's no need
to make her no tea.

CHRISTINE:
It's perfectly all right.

She'll be down in a minute.

CHRISTINE:
It's no trouble at all.

- Can you hear me?
- Listen to Mr. Butcher.

- I've put the kettle on.
- She's on the verge

of coming out.
Do you mind?

GLORIA: I heard that.

Come on, then, Glor.
Come on.

- GLORIA: No.
- Glor, please.

Mrs. Butcher?

Yes.

GLORIA:
Will you wait for me?

Of course I will.

GLORIA: Honest?

Cross my heart
and hope to die.

(MR. BUTCHER
GRUNTING QUIETLY)

(GLORIA SOBBING)

GLORIA: All right, then.

There, see?

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

(GLORIA SOBBING)

Give me your bags.

(SOBBING)

Come on.

(GRUNTING)

MANDY: Come on.

I don't take sugar,
Mrs. Butcher.

All right.

- Where are you going?
- A cup of tea.

- No, we're gonna go now.
- No, no, no, no, no.

She can have her tea
next door.

She's perfectly
welcome around.

If she wants a cup of tea,
she can have one.

This way, come on.

- He's still there!
- God, Dick!

MAN: Get out of here,
you silly cow,

or I'll break
your bleeding neck!

No!

What are you playing at?
Get off me!

I'll give you a right-hander,
I will.

Mandy! Leave her alone,
you silly cow!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Now, you don't let go of me,
I'll hit your husband.

Christine!
Come down, Christine.

- Come down, Christine!
- Piss off!

- I'm not trying to hurt her!
- Get your hands off of her!

- I am not...
- Leave her alone, please!

I'm not trying to hurt her,

I'm just trying
to get her out.

All right?

- Now, come on, Glor.
- All right.

Come on.

I feel sick!

Don't you bloody be sick
all over the carpet!

DICK: She can't be sick!

Right. Now,
you listen to me, Gloria.

- Are you being sick?
- Shut up!

Gloria, we'll take you
next door now.

You can have a nice cup of tea
with Sharon and Mandy.

I'm going out.
I won't be there, see?

I'm not going next door.

- Yes, you are.
- I'm not.

Yes, you are, girl.
Now, come on.

- Gently, gently.
- I'm not hurting her, am I?

Come on. You just pull
yourself together,

now, and sit up.

CHRISTINE: It's all right now.

- Come on.
- CHRISTINE: Sit up.

- Up you get, now.
- Come on.

Come on, up you get,
that's it.

- That's better.
- That's it.

There you are.
There you are.

- Now, then...
- That's it.

That's better.
Now, come on.

- No!
- Stand up.

- Gloria...
- Come on, Gloria, stand up.

- Will you get up!
- Get out!

I've tried reasoning with her,
it don't work.

She's got to get down.

All I'm trying to do
is get her out of your house!

Leave her!

For crying out loud!
All right! All right!

I've had enough!
You sort it out!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Bloody hell, Glor!

All right.

All right, all right.

Come on, Glor.
You come home with us two.

Will you just leave her
a minute, please?

Tell her she's got to go,
Mrs. Butcher.

"She"? Who's "she"!

Don't you talk to me
like that!

CHRISTINE: That's enough.

MANDY: She's bloody 32 years
of age

and she's behaving
like a bleeding kid.

Please, just will you...

She's bloody
eight years older than us.

Listen, we'll just sit here

and wait till you're ready.

Oh, yeah, we'll wait
all bloody afternoon for her.

Come on.

SHARON: These her things?
MANDY: Yeah.

(GLORIA SOBBING)

Who are you?

Sharon Jackson.

Oh, yes.

I thought I recognized
you, yes.

Mandy, get yourself
next door.

Come on, Sharon.
We've done our best.

They can sort it out now.
Come on.

Dick!

Dick!

Right.
I'm not surprised if...

CHRISTINE:
Will you please leave her?

Will you leave her alone?

...round the bloody bend,
you are!

What the bloody hell do you
think you're doing to me?

That's it!
I've had enough of you!

Will you just pull
yourself together?

Leave me alone!

Will you pull
yourself together?

Now, get out!

- Don't talk like that to me!
- I will!

Don't you ever step foot
in my house again,

you bleeding cow!

Get out!

Mind out the way!

- Bloody cow, she is!
- Come on, Mandy.

Bloody hitting me.

You all right?

Slapped me
right in the face.

Dick!

(DOOR SLAMMING)

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

Is that Venice?

Yes, yes, that's right, yes.

I never been there.
Recognize it, though.

On one of our holidays.

I was going to cook their
dinner for them tomorrow.

They've only gone off
with my overnight bag.

What am I going to do now,
Mr. Butcher?

I see you've got one of them
showers upstairs.

They've got one of them
next door.

Not as big as yours, though.

Oh, yes?

Never had a shower.

There we are.

Oh, thank you.

Are you feeling better?

- Yes, thank you.
- Good.

You drink that up.
That's it.

Would you like a biscuit, Gloria?

Yes, please.
I haven't had me tea.

Oh, dear.

Am I stopping you watching
the sports, Mr. Butcher?

No, no, no.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, yes.

- What are you doing?
- (GRUNTING)

Ginger nut,
bourbon or Garibaldi?

I'll have a Garibaldi,
thank you.

Haven't we got any Penguins?

Would you like a Penguin, Gloria?

Yes, please.

There we are.

Oh, thank you.

And one for you, Ralph.

(GRUNTING)

Have you got tummy ache,
Mr. Butcher?

You want to have a drop
of magnesium, sort that out.

Now, then...

It's a beautiful house
you've got here, Mrs. Butcher.

Thank you very much.

Here, I can't keep calling
you Mr. and Mrs. Butcher.

What's your names?

- I'm Christine.
- Yeah?

(GRUNTING)

And he's Ralph.

Oh, I'm Gloria.

I'll give you a hand finish
that car later on, Chris.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Ooh, I've left my bucket
on the pavement.

I'd better retrieve it.

Hand us that over, Ralph.

- What's that?
- Knitting.

That's my wife's knitting.

Here, hand it over.

I'll just do a few rows
while I'm sitting here.

Safe and sound.

- This for Ralph, is it, Chris?
- Oh.

No, it's for my sister, actually.

Oh, how many sisters you got?

- Just the one.
- Same as me.

Do you live very far away?

No. I have to get the bus,
Vauxhall estate.

She's perked up a bit,
hasn't she?

Yes.

I still feel a bit queasy.

- Do you?
- Mmm-hmm.

I wouldn't mind a lie down.

(MR. BUTCHER GRUNTING)

Well, I don't care
what they think about us.

- We was trying to get her out.
- Yeah, we all tried.

There you are.

Even she agrees with me
for once in her bleeding life.

They'll find out what they've
let themselves in for now.

Yeah, they will, and all.

She's the bloody limit,
isn't she?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Who's that?

Yeah?

I've just come to put you
in the picture.

- You'd better come in, then.
- No, it's all right.

There you are.

I wanna talk to you, anyway.

Oh, I see.

- Now, the situation is...
- Do you want a cigarette?

I don't smoke.

- Don't you?
- No.

The thing is, Mrs. Butcher,
you don't know her.

Look at the state
of my missus.

That's all due to Gloria,
that is.

There you are.
Sit yourself down, come on.

I'm black and blue
all over through her.

(SNORING)

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

My mom wouldn't chuck
her out.

She's sly, see.

Off her rocker.

My husband can run her.

No, he don't want
to do that, Mrs. Butcher,

because she won't get out
of his car when she gets home.

All right,
I'll phone for the taxi.

She can walk up
the phone box.

Certainly not.

There you are, then, I'll give
you the money for the call.

I won't hear of it.

- Thank you very much.
- It's a pleasure.

You'd better get your coat.

All right.

Gloria, wakey wakey.

Hello, Chris.

Oh!

Dear.

Oh, I'm parched.

MANDY: Hello, Glor.

- What you doing here?
- It's all right.

- What happened?
- Nothing's happened.

Mandy's come
to take you home.

- Eh?
- Yeah.

Oh, changed your tune, then?

- Where's Dick?
- MANDY: Next door.

Maniac.

Now, I won't have you talking
about him like that, Glor.

- Well, he is.
- Gloria!

We're going to take you home
to Mom's, me and Sharon.

We've ordered a taxi.

MR. BUTCHER: Yes,
it'll be here eventually.

Oh.

- Chris.
- Yes?

Give us me glasses.

Ta.

All steamed up.

Shouldn't have had that liver
for me dinner.

How are you feeling?

I'm all right,
there's nothing wrong with me!

No need to shout
in other people's houses.

Mouth feels like
the bottom of a handbag.

- A handbag?
- Yeah.

(GRUNTING)

Can I have a cup of water, Chris?

Yes, of course you can.

No, it's all right,
Mrs. Butcher,

we'll be having a drink
when we get in.

It's perfectly all right.

- Well, if it's no trouble...
- No sooner said than done.

(MR. BUTCHER GRUNTING)

I thought you two
were stopping in?

No, we're taking you home now,
ain't we?

Well, don't put yourself out
on my account.

Don't you be so bloody cheeky!

- Ruined my evening.
- Yeah.

This is a nutcracker, see?

- Ralph.
- What?

- There we are.
- Ta.

(SLURPING LOUDLY)

MANDY: Glor.

I needed that.

MANDY: Come on,
get your shoes on.

- What's the rush?
- Taxi's coming.

Oh, is it? Is it?
Well, where is it?

You can't get a taxi
for love nor money

in this godforsaken town.

Even the archbishop
has to walk.

Ah, but the archbishop just
sits in his palace all day

surrounded by his minions,
waited on hand and foot, yes!

There's more life
in my back garden

than there is in Canterbury.

Your back garden
is in Canterbury.

Oh, sod it! Shut up!

- Eh, Susan?
- Sharon.

Taxi.

Ta-ra, then, Ralph.

- Thanks for everything.
- Thank you, Mrs. Butcher.

Ta-ra then, Chris. I
expect I'll see you next week.

- Gloria.
- Who you pushing?

- I'm not pushing! Shut up.
- Don't start!

- All right!
- For God's sake, leave her.

You're asking for it,
you are.

GLORIA: I don't know
how Sharon puts up

with you all the time.

MANDY: Don't know how
she puts up with me?

I don't know
how we put up with you!

Bloody traumas
you've caused today!

SHARON: Yeah, yeah.
Vauxhall Avenue, please.

MANDY: Nice, isn't it?

Nice way to start off with
your neighbors, isn't it?

(ARGUING CONTINUES)

(GRUNTING QUIETLY)

I hope there aren't
any human beings in that book.

- What?
- It might upset you.

Are you going to go
to sleep?

Oh, I should think so.

There's nothing else to do,
is there?

She's mad, that woman.

She ought to be locked up.
They're all mad.

Coming round here like that,
disturbing people's privacy.

It's absolutely outrageous.

Well, I shouldn't worry
about it.

We're back to normal now,
aren't we?

- What is the matter with you?
- Nothing.

- What do you want?
- I'll tell you what I want.

I want sex and I want love
and I want a family,

that's what I want!

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

- Dick.
- What?

I've forgotten
to take me pill.

Well, you was coming off it, anyway.

I thought
you didn't want me to.

It's what you want,
isn't it?

Well, do you want to have
a baby and all, then?

Yeah, why not?

Only normal, innit?

Oh!

- What's the matter?
- Just on my bruise.

(CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

GLORIA: Woo-hoo! Chris!

Out doing your last-minute?

I've done all mine.

I'm not going to get caught
out this year,

not like I did last.

Cor, it was terrible.

I thought to myself,
right, all the girls at work

I did it the beginning
of November.

Hello, Ralph.

What's Father Christmas
bringing you this year, then?

Aye? (CHUCKLES)

Then I did me mum and me dad,
Uncle Jack and Aunty...

Here get in.
Don't get cold, Chris.

Mind how you go.

It's ever so slippy
down there.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Get out and milk it. Ha!

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Can't hear nothing.

You should have been here
at 4:00 this morning.

You'd have heard him then.

- Got a kick on him, ain't he?
- Yeah.

Ta.

- Mandy.
- Ta.

Come on, Glor.

- There you are.
- Oh, yeah, he did and all.

- Gloria, here's your tea.
- Put it on the table, Sharon.

I hope he don't come
on Christmas day.

It'll be lovely if he did.

Probably will.

Mind you, the sooner
he gets out the better.

- Yeah.
- Get up, Glor.

(INDISTINCT)

Come on, you got
to get to the party.

Oh, yeah.

I better brush my teeth.

- Isn't he picking her up?
- No.

I'll bet he ain't even going.

(CHORAL SINGING)