All language subtitles for Corner Gas s04e01-Hair Comes the Judge

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:10,234 Hey, do you think my hair's too long? 2 00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:11,734 Too long for what? 3 00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,467 No, I mean just in general. 4 00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:16,300 It feels all wuffy and scraggeldy. Know what I mean? 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,434 Do either of those words meaning thinning? 6 00:00:18,534 --> 00:00:21,133 Not on top. At the sides and around the back. 7 00:00:21,234 --> 00:00:23,667 I can feel it touching my ears and neck. 8 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,300 Uhaaa-aw-aah, it just touched my neck. 9 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,567 I could cut it for you. You could? 10 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:29,334 Sure. I cut Davis's hair. 11 00:00:29,434 --> 00:00:31,334 When do you ever cut my hair? 12 00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:33,234 You take a lotta naps. 13 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,667 I guess it would be okay. Mom usually cuts my hair. 14 00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,834 Does she cut your meat for you too? 15 00:00:38,934 --> 00:00:40,334 No. 16 00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:41,934 Sometimes. 17 00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:47,200 * You can tell me that your dog ran away * 18 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,934 * Then tell me that it took three days * 19 00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:56,901 * I've heard every joke, I've heard every one you say * 20 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,734 * You think there's not a lot goin' on * 21 00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:04,501 * Look closer, Baby, you're so wrong * 22 00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:07,734 * And that's why you can stay so long * 23 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:12,100 * Where there's not a lot goin' on * 24 00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,767 How's your lunch? 25 00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,400 It's good. 26 00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:21,968 Any reason why ya shouldn't pay for your lunch? 27 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:23,601 Why wouldn't I pay for it? 28 00:01:23,701 --> 00:01:25,133 Oh, I don't know, 29 00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:28,334 maybe because I paid you $100 to stain the deck out there, 30 00:01:28,434 --> 00:01:31,100 so I expected you to do it, but you didn't. 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,601 I'll do it. 32 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,000 I never should have given you money up front. 33 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:38,267 If you hadn't, I couldn't have paid for this sandwich, could I? 34 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,868 Then you'd be complainin' about that. 35 00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:42,300 When are you going to stain my deck? 36 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,834 My back's been actin' up. I'll-I'll do it soon. 37 00:01:44,934 --> 00:01:48,033 Hank-soon or the rest-of-the-world soon? I can't wait ten years. 38 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:50,434 Like I'm gonna make you wait ten years. 39 00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:52,033 Five years? 40 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:53,834 Well, maybe less. 41 00:01:59,968 --> 00:02:01,634 It sounds like a tank. 42 00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:03,567 Is there something wrong with the engine? 43 00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,067 The engine's fine. 44 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,300 Did you replace our old engine with the engine from a tank? 45 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,968 Because you what it sounds like? 46 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,634 I heard you the first time. 47 00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:13,400 A tank. 48 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:17,434 There it is, a hole in the muffler. 49 00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:20,234 Musta happened when we hit that porcupine on the highway. 50 00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:22,667 Porcupine. That was two years ago. 51 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,901 Well, it still seems fresh to me. 52 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,834 You don't get over something like that. 53 00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:37,534 What's going on? 54 00:02:37,634 --> 00:02:39,601 I'm getting a little trim from Karen. 55 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,567 I mean Karen's cutting my hair. 56 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:44,434 My hair was kind of But... scuffy and beshaggled. 57 00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,334 There isn't really much to work with, 58 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,167 but I think it's lookin' pretty good. You think? 59 00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:52,801 It looks like a haircut, I- I suppose. 60 00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:56,167 Let's go, Oscar. 61 00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:59,434 You were all fired up to get raisins the whole ride home. 62 00:02:59,534 --> 00:03:01,834 "Don't forget to get raisins," every two minutes. 63 00:03:01,934 --> 00:03:05,300 So get back in here and... Now! 64 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,033 We'll get raisins later. 65 00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,667 Wanda. Weigh in on something. 66 00:03:13,767 --> 00:03:15,634 Hank and I are having a disagreement. 67 00:03:15,734 --> 00:03:18,033 He's wrong, you're right. Is my sandwich ready? 68 00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:20,467 I'm serious. I want your honest, impartial opinion. 69 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,200 All right. I'll be completely impartial. 70 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,033 I'll listen to you and Dinglenuts. 71 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:25,567 D- Dinglenuts? 72 00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:29,300 Okay, I paid Dingle... Hank, $100 to stain the deck. 73 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,901 Really? Cause it looks lousy. Nice work, Dinglehank. 74 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,567 This is my point. 75 00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:37,834 I paid him to do a job and he didn't do it. 76 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:39,834 So, should I get my money back? 77 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,334 When was he supposed to be done the job? 78 00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:44,734 Well, by now, for sure. 79 00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:48,000 But what was the actual date and the terms of the agreement? 80 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,501 There were no terms. 81 00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,667 Heh, heh, now, who's the dingle, huh? 82 00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:55,033 You mean to say that you didn't stipulate finite terms, 83 00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:58,567 establish clear, unambiguous points of chronology, 84 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,834 duties, and ultimately remuneration? 85 00:04:00,934 --> 00:04:02,801 Nope, none of those words. 86 00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:06,767 I just want him to rub stain on my deck, with a rag. 87 00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:09,367 Well, I hate to say it, Lacey. 88 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,501 But in this particular case, you're the dingle. 89 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,067 Heh, heh, heh. 90 00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,334 Hey, hey, ooo, whoa. 91 00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,467 You gotta fix that muffler. 92 00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,200 What? 93 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,634 It's too loud. 94 00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:41,067 You can't drive around in that thing. 95 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:43,200 Can't hear ya. 96 00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,834 Your dad's gotta get that muffler fixed. 97 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,334 What? 98 00:04:49,434 --> 00:04:51,334 I can't hear ya over Dad's muffler. 99 00:04:51,434 --> 00:04:53,934 You should say something to him about that. 100 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,634 Hear me out. 101 00:04:57,734 --> 00:04:59,501 Good idea. 102 00:04:59,601 --> 00:05:01,334 Frighten the chick with the hammer. 103 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,734 She already heard ya and said you were crazy. 104 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:06,868 Look, I'll stain the deck as soon as I can, 105 00:05:06,968 --> 00:05:10,567 and when the good deck stainin' weather gets here. 106 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:12,534 I want an appeal. 107 00:05:12,634 --> 00:05:15,501 You are aware that this isn't an actual court of law? 108 00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:17,467 Well, you're the closest thing we have. 109 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,968 You're as smart as that judge lady on TV. 110 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,534 Well, I don't know about that. 111 00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:24,434 Don't try and butter her up. 112 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:27,367 She already told you, you don't have the infinity things 113 00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:29,801 with the triggers on it or nothin'. 114 00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:32,801 Well, I suppose I'm no less smart than her. 115 00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:35,467 Or the chrononomy clause with the renumering. 116 00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:37,267 Do you understand English? 117 00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:39,501 I don't know. Try speaking some. 118 00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:41,167 Silence! 119 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,067 I mean, order. 120 00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:48,400 Lacey, you have your appeal. 121 00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:50,367 Thank you, Your Honour. 122 00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:52,234 I'm not a judge. 123 00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:54,133 But in Canada it's "My Lord. " 124 00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,834 It was rubbin' on my neck at the back 125 00:05:56,934 --> 00:05:58,701 and gettin' too long on the sides. 126 00:05:58,801 --> 00:06:00,334 It was all bescuffied and rumplish. 127 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,267 But this looks good, don't ya think? 128 00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:05,133 It looks, ah, slick. Maybe not slick, but sleek. 129 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:08,567 I feel sleeker. Do I look faster? 130 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,100 Well, I'll let you guys eat. 131 00:06:14,701 --> 00:06:16,734 Who was that? 132 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:21,767 Who is it? 133 00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:23,267 Police. 134 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,901 Tell 'em I'm not home. 135 00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:32,133 If you aren't here, then how did you say, "Who is it?" 136 00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:33,667 Nice. 137 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,133 Next time put a bullhorn in my face. 138 00:06:36,234 --> 00:06:39,634 Does he really think he can yell, "Who is it?" and take off? 139 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:43,300 How do I know what's rattling around in his head, Officer? 140 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,100 He can't drive around makin' that much noise. 141 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,634 You really do have to get your muffler fixed. 142 00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,133 The car's in Oscar's name. 143 00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:54,133 I don't have to do anything. 144 00:06:55,901 --> 00:06:58,133 I see your point about the terms 145 00:06:58,234 --> 00:07:00,234 and-and-and the agreement. But consider this. 146 00:07:00,334 --> 00:07:02,200 Do you have a receipt? A what? 147 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,934 R- E-ceipt. 148 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,801 Did you obtain a written receipt for the money 149 00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:09,767 you alleged to have paid Hank? 150 00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:11,400 You think I'm lying? 151 00:07:11,501 --> 00:07:15,200 I'll turn him upside down now and shake the cash out of him. 152 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,267 Do-do you see what I'm dealing with? 153 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,267 The-the-the-this is threats, it's-it's-it's harassment. 154 00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:22,267 Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup! You will get your turn, sir. 155 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:23,767 Unconstitutional. 156 00:07:23,868 --> 00:07:25,801 Bup-bup-bup-bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. 157 00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:28,267 How often do you watch that judge lady? 158 00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:29,767 Zip it. 159 00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:33,133 Now, I can tell from your response that you have no receipt. 160 00:07:33,234 --> 00:07:36,167 Wait a second. Did you just tell me to zip it? 161 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:38,033 The Court finds insufficient evidence 162 00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:39,634 to overturn the previous ruling. 163 00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,133 Dismissed. 164 00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:42,634 Whooo!! 165 00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,300 Ha, ha, ha, ha! Freedom, Baby! 166 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,634 This is the first day of the rest of my life! 167 00:07:52,801 --> 00:07:54,868 That's a cute top. 168 00:08:02,868 --> 00:08:04,601 Your engine's loud, man. 169 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,734 What? Buzz off. 170 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,834 Your car, it-it's loud. It's cool. 171 00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:11,367 Oh. Yeah. 172 00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:12,868 Yeah, it's cool. 173 00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,033 Do you get the feeling Emma's mad at me? 174 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,834 Then you should apologize to her. 175 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,834 For what? I don't even know what I did. 176 00:08:24,934 --> 00:08:27,167 Well, it musta been pretty bad. 177 00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:29,834 Why are you taking her side? I'm your partner. 178 00:08:29,934 --> 00:08:33,300 Don't you think you should back me up instead of some civilian? 179 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,934 If you don't want to apologize to Emma for screwin' her around, 180 00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,567 no skin off my nose. Thank you. 181 00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,067 Wait. 182 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:43,868 Why do you assume I screwed her around? 183 00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:46,133 Well, she's not mad at me. 184 00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:51,000 Hey, Lacey, you know how slow I used to look? 185 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,133 I know Wanda never went to law school 186 00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:57,200 and she's not a real judge, so she can come down off her high horse. 187 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,334 Right. 188 00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,934 This haircut makes me look faster, doesn't it? 189 00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:02,801 Is Hank trying to make me angry 190 00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:04,968 or is he actually gonna rip me off? 191 00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,400 Just say yes. What? 192 00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:10,501 I said "Right" without knowin' what you were talkin' about. 193 00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:12,801 Okay, fine. You look faster. 194 00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,501 You-you-you look like a rocket covered 195 00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:16,501 in greased lightening goin' downhill, okay? 196 00:09:16,601 --> 00:09:18,200 With the wind at my back? 197 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,067 Can we talk about my thing now? 198 00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,701 Okay. But you're wrong about Wanda. 199 00:09:21,801 --> 00:09:24,200 She did take some kinda legal course in college. 200 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,834 But she's not a judge, right, like an actual real judge? 201 00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,067 No. 202 00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,601 Then I rest my case. 203 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,100 Okay, you've won this round. 204 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,767 But in my defence, I don't know what we're talking about. 205 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:40,200 I could easily drop a big block in here. 206 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:44,400 Oh, yeah. 440 four barrel. Oh-ho, it'd be cherry. 207 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,434 You ridin' a Thrush muffler under there? 208 00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:48,701 A regular muffler with a hole in it. 209 00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:50,434 Cherry. 210 00:09:52,601 --> 00:09:54,767 Why are you hasslin' us, man? 211 00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:57,634 We're not doin' anything, ya lousy copper. 212 00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:00,234 Copper? 213 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,434 Well, what do ya call 'em nowadays? 214 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,400 That's just flat rude. 215 00:10:08,534 --> 00:10:11,200 Show some respect, you punks. 216 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:16,067 I can see why you can't fit staining my deck 217 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:17,567 into your busy schedule. 218 00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,133 Your sarcasm's not workin'. 219 00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:20,634 Well, neither are you. 220 00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:24,133 The guy on TV said it's good to put heat on your back. 221 00:10:24,234 --> 00:10:26,267 So I revved my truck for 20 minutes, 222 00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,400 hopped up here, and laid down on it. 223 00:10:28,501 --> 00:10:30,200 Genius. Yeah. 224 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,834 What about the cold? 225 00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:33,968 I don't have a cold. It's my back. 226 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,667 When you have a sore back you're supposed to alternate 227 00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,534 hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. 228 00:10:38,634 --> 00:10:40,167 Huh. 229 00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:43,234 Do me a favour. Go to your freezer... 230 00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:45,400 I don't think so. 231 00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:49,667 Is this the most recent Hot Rodder? 232 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:50,901 Yep. 233 00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:53,133 Bull. It says July on it. 234 00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:55,667 Oh. Well, what are we in, April? 235 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:57,601 August, ya jackass. 236 00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,367 August? Really? 237 00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:01,868 I need current automotive information, man. 238 00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:04,834 Man? Geez, sorry I can't help ya, Cheech. 239 00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:06,534 Drop your cake mix, Betty Crocker, 240 00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:08,801 and get me some new car magazines. 241 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,667 Just settle down, sir. 242 00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:12,701 What seems to be the problem? 243 00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:14,200 What do you mean, "Sir"? 244 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,901 I don't have all day. 245 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,200 We can't all stand around in the middle 246 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,100 of the afternoon reading the funny papers. 247 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,200 I just came in. 248 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,634 I just wanted a proper, current thing to read. 249 00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:27,000 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And have you tried making sense? 250 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,801 Me? He thinks it's April. 251 00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:31,367 Bring me the magazine. 252 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:32,968 We're in August already and... 253 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,133 Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. 254 00:11:35,234 --> 00:11:37,701 I want to see the magazine, sir. 255 00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:39,300 Brent? 256 00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,200 Ah. Well, this is a July magazine, sir. 257 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,701 That's what I told him. 258 00:11:48,801 --> 00:11:50,200 I told you. 259 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,100 I don't want to listen to who told who what when 260 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,267 and who did say what to which one. 261 00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:55,767 What? 262 00:11:55,868 --> 00:11:58,100 You heard me, sir. Look out the window. 263 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,400 Do you see the Empire State Building? 264 00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,667 No? 265 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,868 Just dirt and tractors? 266 00:12:03,968 --> 00:12:06,901 It must mean we live in a small farming town. 267 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,767 New magazines come to small farming towns a week late. 268 00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:13,701 Come in next Wednesday, we'll have your August magazine for you, sir. 269 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,033 Are you hopped up on somethin'? 270 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,467 I'm in recess. 271 00:12:18,968 --> 00:12:22,000 Do you think I should go over and talk to Emma, 272 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,501 see what the problem is? 273 00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:26,868 That would be the classy move, after what you did to her. 274 00:12:26,968 --> 00:12:29,067 I didn't do anything. Stop saying that. 275 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,133 Oh, I got you now. 276 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,801 Well, it looks like Old Oscar Leroy's bitten off 277 00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:44,901 a little more than he can chew. 278 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,534 Didn't I tell you, Jake? 279 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:48,901 No playing guitar on the street. 280 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,400 Well, it looks like Old Jake's got himself into 281 00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:53,901 a bit of a pickle with Officer Karen. 282 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,968 Go! 283 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,367 Parachute didn't open? 284 00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:14,801 I'm coolin' my back. 285 00:13:14,901 --> 00:13:17,701 Ah, of course. I feel like an idiot now. 286 00:13:17,801 --> 00:13:20,567 I swiped a bag of frozen peas from your freezer. 287 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,501 Yeah. It's good for my back, you know? 288 00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:26,667 Heat, then cold, then heat, then cold, and... 289 00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:28,868 then heat... 290 00:13:28,968 --> 00:13:30,367 then cold. 291 00:13:30,467 --> 00:13:31,534 Then what? 292 00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:32,701 Then heat. 293 00:13:32,801 --> 00:13:35,100 Oh, I get it. Well, good luck with that. 294 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,601 Thanks. 295 00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:38,701 Yeah, it's pretty bad. 296 00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:41,334 Twisted disc or somethin'. 297 00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:42,868 Well, good luck with that. 298 00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:44,200 Yeah. 299 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,367 I feel bad, though, because I told Lacey I'd stain her deck, 300 00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:49,567 'cause I like to help a lady out. 301 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,934 But, yeah, my back's killin' me. 302 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,334 Hey! Oh, here's a thing. 303 00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,067 I'll hire you to do it. 304 00:13:58,167 --> 00:13:59,667 Good luck with that. 305 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:03,033 No, no, I'm serious. From my own pocket, cold hard cash. 306 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:05,300 Cold, then hot, then cold hard cash? 307 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,267 Yeah. Say, uh, 25 bucks? 308 00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:11,534 Nice try. I talked to Lacey, she told me the whole deal. 309 00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:13,033 Did not. 310 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:15,467 Did not so. Said she gave ya 200 bucks. 311 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,200 One hundred. 312 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,000 Sometimes it's too easy with you. 313 00:14:20,968 --> 00:14:22,868 Wanda, there you are. 314 00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:25,200 I've been looking all over town for you. 315 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,667 This is the second place you looked, isn't it? 316 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,868 Yeah. 317 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,934 The-the town needs your judgment skills. 318 00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:34,667 Oh, a legal matter, huh? 319 00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,567 Civil or criminal? 320 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,067 Pie. 321 00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,367 Sure. Can Fitzy get a piece of pie? 322 00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:43,901 No, no. No. It's a matter of pie. 323 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,734 Did you get the raisins? 324 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,767 Hi, Emma. 325 00:14:48,868 --> 00:14:51,133 How did you get in here? 326 00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:53,834 I figured if I knocked, you'd ask who it was 327 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,767 and you wouldn't let me in. 328 00:14:55,868 --> 00:14:57,267 Don't be silly. 329 00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,434 I get the feeling you're mad at me. 330 00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:00,534 Don't be foolish. 331 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,667 I think I might have upset you somehow? 332 00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:04,767 Don't be a thieving conniving wench. 333 00:15:04,868 --> 00:15:06,267 Pardon? 334 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:08,133 I mean silly. 335 00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:09,801 What did I do? 336 00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:12,400 I leave town and the next thing I know 337 00:15:12,501 --> 00:15:14,734 you're up to your elbows in Brent's hair. 338 00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,567 So? 339 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:20,734 I've been cutting Brent's hair since he was a baby. 340 00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:24,167 You know, he's not even aware that it's something 341 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,567 most people pay for. 342 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:31,601 He thinks haircuts are just free like sunshine or junk mail. 343 00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:33,634 He thinks it just happens. 344 00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:36,534 Hmm. That's so sweet. 345 00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:39,534 It's kinda weird, when you actually think about it. 346 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,734 It's a little weird, yeah. 347 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:43,234 Don't worry, Emma. 348 00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:46,534 I won't ever cut Brent's hair again. 349 00:15:46,634 --> 00:15:48,968 I'm just glad you've forgiven me. 350 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:52,400 Get your hand off me, you backstabbing wench. 351 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,400 It's gonna take a little time. 352 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,701 What the hell are you doin'? 353 00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:03,968 You can't just take my ride. 354 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:06,667 I'm not taking your ride. I'm taking your keys. 355 00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:10,000 And you're not getting them back until you take the car in 356 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,667 and get the muffler fixed. 357 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,267 What a rip! 358 00:16:16,334 --> 00:16:19,834 How can I take my car in when I don't have my keys? 359 00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:21,400 Fine. 360 00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:23,834 But you have one week to get that fixed. 361 00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:26,701 Otherwise I do take your keys and impound your ride. 362 00:16:26,801 --> 00:16:28,868 When did you get to be so square? 363 00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:30,367 What? 364 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,000 Square, man, L-7. 365 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:35,467 You used to be cool before you had that badge. 366 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:39,534 I came here as a cop. You only knew me when I was a cop. 367 00:16:39,634 --> 00:16:42,000 L-7, Daddy-o, L-7. 368 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,133 You wanna race? 369 00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:46,634 No. 370 00:16:46,734 --> 00:16:50,367 No, I didn't say I was faster, just said I looked faster, 371 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,968 just the illusion of speed. 372 00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:55,234 All right, then. 373 00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:57,801 Because I can run serious fast. 374 00:17:01,934 --> 00:17:04,334 That was more chilling than it needed to be. 375 00:17:04,434 --> 00:17:06,834 I know what I'll do about the legal thing. 376 00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:08,434 Do you even listen to me? 377 00:17:08,534 --> 00:17:11,167 I think that guy was a navy SEAL or something. 378 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,601 Next time Hank comes in here for a sandwich 379 00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:16,567 or a coffee, or anything, I am gonna have a little 380 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,234 legal loophole for him to try and crawl out of. 381 00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:20,968 Now who's the dingle? 382 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,467 What's a dingle? 383 00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:24,534 I don't know, exactly. 384 00:17:24,634 --> 00:17:26,634 But, uh, this time it's not me. 385 00:17:34,968 --> 00:17:37,868 I don't want you to be mad at me anymore. 386 00:17:37,968 --> 00:17:40,701 Well, freaking me out isn't the way to do it. 387 00:17:40,801 --> 00:17:43,667 I was thinking, I can't wear my hair down at work, 388 00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,601 so I need some new up-dos. 389 00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:47,801 I kinda only know two different ones. 390 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,133 Really? Well, I know lots of up-dos. 391 00:17:51,234 --> 00:17:52,801 Come inside. This will be fun. 392 00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,334 Like a slumber party. 393 00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:57,367 Except you'll be gone in 20 minutes. 394 00:17:58,968 --> 00:18:02,667 I don't know if this is the best forum for my keen legal mind. 395 00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:05,367 You can't have a pie contest without a judge. 396 00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:08,701 I mean, we tried last year. There was a fist fight. 397 00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:13,167 Ladies and Gentlemen, your judge for today's event, 398 00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,667 Wanda Dollard. 399 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,701 Thank you, Fitzy. 400 00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:23,767 Okay, so I have no idea who is entered into this contest, 401 00:18:23,868 --> 00:18:27,634 so if you're in it, just hop on up 402 00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:30,434 and start chowin' down. 403 00:18:30,534 --> 00:18:32,367 Chowing down? 404 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:35,234 Yeah. I'll make sure they eat all of one pie 405 00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:36,901 before movin' on to the next. 406 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,367 None of this two bites and you're done crap. 407 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,400 It's not a pie eating contest, Wanda. 408 00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:42,501 What? 409 00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,801 People bake pies, you judge them, 410 00:18:44,901 --> 00:18:46,534 the winner gets a blue ribbon. 411 00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:48,033 And then what? 412 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:51,634 We all go down to the soda shop and play with our hula-hoops? 413 00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:53,567 Just start tasting the pies. 414 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:58,133 I can't. 415 00:18:58,234 --> 00:18:59,868 I hate pie. 416 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:01,968 You hate pie? 417 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:04,834 All pie, apple, cherry, shepherd, you name it. 418 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,467 How can somebody hate pie? 419 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,968 It's just weird. 420 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,701 It's unnatural. 421 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:12,567 The pie woman's scaring me. 422 00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,968 Oh, two dollars. Why so cheap? 423 00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:23,701 Look again, Hank. 424 00:19:23,801 --> 00:19:26,167 What? Two hundred dollars? 425 00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:27,734 How do you figure that? 426 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,734 Read the fine print on the menu, Smart Guy. 427 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:35,067 "Price is subject to change without notice. " What? 428 00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:38,601 Nice and legal. Now who's the dingle? 429 00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:40,601 Yes! 430 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,100 Can she do this? 431 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,601 I don't know. 432 00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:46,200 I just came to see what a dingle was. 433 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,834 L- Mm-hmm? 434 00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:49,367 7.Yeah? 435 00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,267 Oh, like a square. 436 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,567 Square! 437 00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:57,100 Get that hole in your muffler fixed. 438 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,334 A porcupine died for that hole, Buddy Boy. 439 00:19:59,434 --> 00:20:01,801 Don't make this about the porcupine. 440 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,901 What's the real reason? 441 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,667 I dig the sound. 442 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,400 You "dig" it? 443 00:20:07,501 --> 00:20:09,701 Now who's L-7? 444 00:20:09,801 --> 00:20:11,968 You have one week. 445 00:20:14,634 --> 00:20:17,334 Ya wanna know what they call coppers now? 446 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,501 I wouldn't be surprised if I was a little faster now. 447 00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:26,033 Not a lot, you know, but a bit, like less wind resistance. 448 00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,267 Keep the change. 449 00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:35,267 The hair can make a big difference, ya know? 450 00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:40,267 I think your mom's still mad at me. 451 00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:45,133 Okay, so just set the tables and chairs around back 452 00:20:45,234 --> 00:20:47,067 and then get to it. 453 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:48,968 Can I finish my sandwich first? 454 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:51,501 Between this and the coffee I'm out 300 bucks. 455 00:20:51,601 --> 00:20:53,934 Oh, Hank, you're getting mustard all over the deck. 456 00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,033 Wipe it up before it stains. 457 00:20:56,133 --> 00:20:59,033 Legally speaking, that constitutes staining the deck. 458 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,501 Technically, Hank, your work here is done. 459 00:21:01,601 --> 00:21:03,300 Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup. 460 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,767 How can you believe someone that doesn't even like pie? 461 00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:09,100 Oh, yeah, that's right. I heard about that. 462 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,934 That's weird. 463 00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:14,868 Looks like Little Miss Wanda just lost some credibility. 464 00:21:14,968 --> 00:21:18,067 You're gonna lose some teeth if you don't get outta here. 465 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:22,067 Looks like it's time for Old Jake to move on. 466 00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:26,000 Closed Captioning by 467 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,334 Vertical Sync Closed Captioning Services Inc. 468 00:21:28,434 --> 00:21:30,901 www. verticalsync. com 469 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,601 * I don't know the same things you don't know * 470 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:43,601 * I don't know I just don't know * 471 00:21:47,267 --> 00:21:50,834 * It's a great big place 472 00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:54,834 * full of nothin' but space 473 00:21:54,934 --> 00:21:56,834 * and it's my happy place 474 00:21:56,934 --> 00:22:00,534 * I don't know Yes you do * 475 00:22:00,634 --> 00:22:04,534 * You just won't admit it 476 00:22:04,634 --> 00:22:08,133 Want to have a gas online? Visit us at cornergas. com 477 00:22:10,868 --> 00:22:13,701 * I don't know 478 00:22:13,801 --> 00:22:16,634 * I just don't know * 34667

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