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1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:02,627
I've finally figured out the key
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,467
to getting everything done
at medical school.
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,201
Do a bunch of things at once
and never sleep.
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:11,200
Hey, Dad. Don't have a lot of time
for our daily update, but here goes.
5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:14,510
School's hard, dorm's gross,
not really dating,
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,846
but I am having
my "lady needs" tended to
7
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:19,114
by a handsome young stallion.
8
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,278
Wow, just remembered
who I'm talking to.
9
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:25,815
Sorry, Dad, but since it's out there,
hot damn.
10
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:29,421
I am in the middle of a
real sexual awakening right now. Hmm?
11
00:00:29,764 --> 00:00:33,791
Yeah, that's about enough for me
today, too. Talk to you tomorrow.
12
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,802
Baby, what's up? It's 5:30.
13
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,361
I have nine thousand things to do.
Go back to sleep.
14
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:42,240
Girl, once you wake up the troops,
you gotta storm the beach.
15
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,776
You know what?
You are actually on my to-do list.
16
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:50,943
Yeah.
17
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,611
The iliohypogastric and ilioinguinal
nerves innervate the groin region.
18
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,022
God, I'm great at study-walking.
19
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,051
Oh, good. Dr. Turk.
20
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,723
I scanned those slides for your lung
lecture and I e-mailed them to you.
21
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:07,222
- Did you get a chance to check them?
- He's gone, Lucy.
22
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,693
He's gone.
23
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,704
Yesterday was Dr. Dorian's last day.
24
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,968
Dr. Turk was taking it pretty hard.
25
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,711
He done gone to Zion.
26
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,810
What?
27
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,385
Hey, Turk.
Okay, this is why pregnancy sucks.
28
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,051
Your stupid name took my head
right to "turkey,"
29
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:35,028
because I have been craving the hell
out of Thanksgiving food all week.
30
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,393
This morning I actually pounded
31
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,523
a jar of cranberry sauce
and some dry stuffing.
32
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,592
It was like a holiday,
only much, much sadder.
33
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,727
You want to talk about sad?
34
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,331
I spent the whole morning moping
around 'cause J.D. Wasn't here.
35
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,740
- Took me about an hour to get out of it.
- Oh, he said to say he misses you.
36
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,802
- He did?
- Yeah.
37
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:58,845
It's okay, it's okay.
38
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,480
He reacted the same way
when he got your muffin basket.
39
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,149
Look, Turk, I know that you're hurting,
40
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,784
but you're gonna find someone else
here to ride the eagle with.
41
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,488
Elliot, you don't ride the eagle.
You eagle.
42
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,589
You choose toe or thumb.
You join Fight Club with Pillows.
43
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,691
You and J.D. Had a pillow-fight club?
44
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,065
First rule of Pillow Fight Club,
you don't talk...
45
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,467
- Yeah, I get it.
- No, I don't think you do.
46
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,495
Elliot. Elliot, please don't say anything.
47
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,770
Hey, Turkleton.
I know what it's like to lose a friend.
48
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,369
I lost my good buddy Steve
back in Korea.
49
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,073
- Sir, that was a horrible war.
- Yes, it was,
50
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:30,641
but I'm talking about a family trip
we took to the '88 Olympics.
51
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:35,212
I suggested a wife-swap to Steve,
and things got pretty weird.
52
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,789
Yes, it was an amazing night,
53
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:41,186
but was it worth it
to lose a good friend over?
54
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,326
Probably.
55
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,130
Great effort in the sack last night.
56
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,637
Just remember, when I say,
"I hate you, don't touch me,"
57
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,538
- it's not about you, it's about all men.
- Cool.
58
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,599
- Crap, I'm gonna be late for class.
- Drew, wait.
59
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:59,272
There's something I have to tell you.
I'm late, too.
60
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,973
- You missed your...
- Yeah.
61
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,318
Oh, my God.
62
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,583
I'm kidding.
Your face looks so dumb right now.
63
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,093
- Why would you do that to me?
- I'm bored.
64
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,358
You're lucky I vibe on crazy.
65
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,793
- I hate you, don't touch me.
- Fair enough.
66
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,996
Now then, today we will be looking
at patients with pancreatic disorders.
67
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,406
- Hey, Drew. Glad you could make it.
- Sorry I'm late.
68
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,140
You should be sorry,
as I'm giving all of you murderers
69
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,807
the honor of shadowing me today.
70
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,477
There is no penalty forthcoming,
however, as it is an optional exercise.
71
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,215
Optional? Hey, man, I gotta cruise.
72
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,555
- Bunch of crap to do. You cool here?
- No, just a second. You're leaving?
73
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,060
Well, what the heck
am I supposed to do?
74
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,063
How will the hospital
get by, for God's sake?
75
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:55,761
Shut it down. Everyone, shut it down.
It's over. Stop saving lives.
76
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,768
Man, you crack me up.
77
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,205
But for reals, I gotta split.
78
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,735
I met this old cat upstairs
who's got really painful glaucoma.
79
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:09,215
Translation, crazy-ass
government product.
80
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,276
Yo, we'll probably hang
out, maybe watch some Benson reruns.
81
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,720
Know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
82
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,822
Number One, remind me again
why I can't kill him.
83
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,796
- His daddy built the hospital.
- Fair enough.
84
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,856
All of you remain where you are
for a moment.
85
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,367
I'm going to punch through a wall.
86
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:33,573
Maureen, I e-mailed you your
bachelorette pictures this morning.
87
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,074
I would have put them
in the regular mail,
88
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,441
but I think we could get arrested.
89
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,378
Okay, class,
I want to thank Miss Bennett
90
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,472
for her help on this presentation.
91
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:45,076
- Thank you. Thanks.
- Not really a stand-and-wave moment.
92
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,310
Here we go.
93
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,082
What do you mean,
they're not the bachelorette photos?
94
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:52,422
All right, people, we'll start with
advanced mesothelioma of the lung.
95
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,656
- Now, that's not a lung.
- Dr. Turk, please...
96
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:01,464
No, Lucy, I think this could be
what we call a teachable moment.
97
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,994
Next up should be pulmonary fibrosis.
98
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,538
That ain't pulmonary fibrosis.
99
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:11,305
That's a woman nibbling
on some panties.
100
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,981
Looks like the night
took a dark turn, people.
101
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,781
Let's see what's next.
Oh, she's back! Back in action!
102
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:25,416
You can't do stuff like that to strangers,
woman. It's not right!
103
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,428
- I know. I'm sorry.
- He's a human being, Lucy.
104
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:32,694
He got nine bucks, okay?
I made it rain. Move on.
105
00:05:57,386 --> 00:05:58,580
You all right?
106
00:05:58,621 --> 00:06:02,113
It was a rough surgery.
I don't think the guy's gonna make it.
107
00:06:02,158 --> 00:06:03,921
- That stinks.
- Yeah.
108
00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:06,659
This is when I really miss J.D.,
you know?
109
00:06:06,696 --> 00:06:10,427
At work. He'd see me like this
and then try and pick me up,
110
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,725
and then I'd point to that doctor
over there and I'd say,
111
00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:15,965
"Who does that look like to you?"
And he'd say...
112
00:06:16,105 --> 00:06:17,197
Who?
113
00:06:17,573 --> 00:06:20,167
A Japanese Laura Dern.
How do you not see that?
114
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:23,042
I can't believe
you get to see J.D. Naked.
115
00:06:23,512 --> 00:06:26,845
- That was weird.
- It's okay. That's okay, Turk.
116
00:06:27,717 --> 00:06:29,651
I can do this with you.
117
00:06:29,986 --> 00:06:33,251
See that nurse over there?
She looks like a Mexican Carrie Scott.
118
00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:35,519
- Who?
- Childhood friend.
119
00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:39,591
Yeah, she joined a cult
and disappeared when she was 16.
120
00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:42,496
Oh, my God, that could actually be her
if she got really tan.
121
00:06:42,531 --> 00:06:44,362
Carrie? Carrie Scott?
122
00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,561
Nope, not her. Police are right.
She's probably dead.
123
00:06:47,603 --> 00:06:50,197
- What were we talking about?
- I don't remember.
124
00:06:50,406 --> 00:06:52,636
This morning was such a disaster.
125
00:06:52,675 --> 00:06:55,439
Maybe my problem is
that I've been trying to do too much.
126
00:06:55,678 --> 00:06:58,010
I've decided to do
some optional shadowing of Dr. Cox
127
00:06:58,047 --> 00:06:59,207
to get my mind off it.
128
00:06:59,248 --> 00:07:04,379
- Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question?
- Do you see that shadow over there?
129
00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:06,911
Do you see how it's just quietly
standing against the wall
130
00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,423
not asking inane questions
131
00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:12,188
that make me crave the sweet taste
of a hollow-point bullet?
132
00:07:12,228 --> 00:07:14,662
That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow.
133
00:07:15,698 --> 00:07:18,599
- Act like it.
- You know why you should ignore him?
134
00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:21,569
Let's just forget for a second that you
sprained your wrist punching a wall.
135
00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:25,506
- I can explain that. I hate someone.
- Miss Simmons' platelets are low,
136
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,372
so I don't really think
heparin's a good idea.
137
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:30,504
I'd never met Dr. Reid,
but she seemed incredible.
138
00:07:30,546 --> 00:07:32,446
She went toe-to-toe with Dr. Cox.
139
00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:35,348
Yeah, but the bottom line is,
I admitted her, so she's mine.
140
00:07:35,384 --> 00:07:38,012
- Fair enough. She's yours.
- Thank you.
141
00:07:38,955 --> 00:07:40,047
Hmm.
142
00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:42,353
She was amazing
with her patients.
143
00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,985
You're gonna be just fine, Kate.
We'll get the blood work back
144
00:07:45,027 --> 00:07:47,359
and then run a simple test
called a bronchoscopy.
145
00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:49,091
She was a loving wife.
146
00:07:49,131 --> 00:07:53,659
J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie.
Turk misses you, too.
147
00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:57,932
What? I don't... He's wearing scrubs.
148
00:07:59,275 --> 00:08:00,708
His green ones.
149
00:08:00,743 --> 00:08:03,371
And she did it all
while being pregnant.
150
00:08:03,412 --> 00:08:06,074
Can you hand me that bedpan?
Thank you.
151
00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:10,314
Oh, yeah. Much better. Take that.
152
00:08:10,419 --> 00:08:12,944
Who are you? And why are you
following me around and staring at me?
153
00:08:12,989 --> 00:08:14,616
I'm Lucy. I'm a med student.
154
00:08:14,657 --> 00:08:16,591
Be cool, Lucy. Be cool.
155
00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:20,358
And I just have to say,
you have the spirit of a noble warrior,
156
00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:22,728
which is not to say
that you're not incredibly feminine,
157
00:08:22,765 --> 00:08:24,357
because clearly you are.
158
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,595
I mean, you're, like,
stupid fricking pregnant,
159
00:08:26,635 --> 00:08:28,432
but also, so skinny.
160
00:08:28,471 --> 00:08:32,202
I mean, come on, you're like a snake
that ate a tiny horse.
161
00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:37,671
My point is,
I'd like to get to know you better.
162
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,811
- Oh, so, you're crazy.
- Oh, yeah.
163
00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:42,181
Oh, that's cool. I'm Dr. Elliot Reid.
See you later.
164
00:08:42,218 --> 00:08:44,778
Who's got food? Mama needs a refill.
I'm dying here.
165
00:08:45,054 --> 00:08:48,251
All right, class, we're looking
for evidence of disease or abnormality.
166
00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:51,487
Hey, Dr. T, I heard one time
they opened up a dude's stomach
167
00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:53,017
and there was a finger inside of it.
168
00:08:53,062 --> 00:08:56,623
I mean, think about it. You're in a lab,
you're a little buzzed, everything's cool,
169
00:08:56,665 --> 00:08:58,792
then all of a sudden
your dead guy's flipping you the bird.
170
00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:01,598
With another dude's finger!
I mean, what?
171
00:09:02,772 --> 00:09:05,240
Denise, could you please handle this?
I've had a really bad day.
172
00:09:05,274 --> 00:09:06,707
I'd love to.
173
00:09:07,343 --> 00:09:11,803
So, you and me,
we're gonna have a stupid jar.
174
00:09:12,548 --> 00:09:16,507
Every time you say something stupid,
we're gonna put a nickel in that jar,
175
00:09:16,552 --> 00:09:18,679
and when that jar gets nice and full,
176
00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:22,179
we're gonna take it
and beat you with it, okay?
177
00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:26,525
Dude, how much fun
is she in the sack?
178
00:09:26,562 --> 00:09:30,259
More scary than fun.
Look, Cole, you gotta dial it down a bit.
179
00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:31,732
The school newspaper's
coming out next week
180
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:32,995
and they're publishing class rankings.
181
00:09:33,035 --> 00:09:34,502
I thought you were already number one.
182
00:09:34,537 --> 00:09:36,334
That's just with Dr. Cox.
183
00:09:36,372 --> 00:09:38,863
These are the real rankings,
and everything counts.
184
00:09:38,908 --> 00:09:41,672
Grades, participation, grunt work.
Everyone sees it.
185
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:42,768
- Really?
- Yeah.
186
00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:43,836
Huh.
187
00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:47,810
Hey, it's all good. I don't mind
if people know my rank, okay?
188
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,147
It's like going to the gym.
189
00:09:49,185 --> 00:09:51,983
When you blast it as hard as I do,
you want people to notice.
190
00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:53,784
- How much you think I bench?
- I don't know, like...
191
00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:57,281
I don't bench. I do high-intensity reps.
I'm toned as balls.
192
00:09:57,726 --> 00:10:01,184
What's with the lame writing on
your ass? Is that, like, a surgeon thing?
193
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:04,757
No, it's for pork-chop day.
An old tradition for me and J.D.
194
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,099
We made special pants.
His said "PORK" on the back.
195
00:10:08,337 --> 00:10:11,773
That's actually why he had
that little sexual-harassment thingy.
196
00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:13,274
There's only one left, do you mind?
197
00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:15,402
No, that's all you.
I don't even like pork chops.
198
00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:17,241
- Hey, look, there's J.D.
- Where?
199
00:10:17,279 --> 00:10:21,045
- Where? Did he wear his pants?
- Sucker. I lied. I love them.
200
00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:25,720
You're a pork-chop Keyser Soze.
201
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:29,548
- Can you believe that?
- Oh, I do. The chops are awesome.
202
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:33,528
I pounded down 11 of them already,
gristle and all, and I'm a vegetarian,
203
00:10:33,562 --> 00:10:36,258
- but the baby, carnivore.
- Hey, Turk.
204
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,990
Mmm.
205
00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:41,195
It's like Christmas morning.
206
00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,269
You want to help me get her back?
This is what we do.
207
00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:46,831
We fill her car up with pork chops,
and when she opens the door,
208
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:48,844
the pork chops will slide
all over the place,
209
00:10:48,878 --> 00:10:50,778
and she'll have to dig a little seat.
210
00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:53,407
I'm talking about
a major inconvenience.
211
00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:54,473
Okay, you're losing it.
212
00:10:54,517 --> 00:10:56,576
We need to get you a new work buddy,
like, today.
213
00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:59,850
Until then, you gotta just chillax,
my brother.
214
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:03,124
Okay, I cannot pull off "my brother,"
can I?
215
00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:05,719
- No.
- At least I nailed "chillax."
216
00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:07,453
No, you didn't.
217
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,353
Dr. Reid, you're so inspiring.
218
00:11:09,398 --> 00:11:11,832
Oh, stop. Go on.
219
00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:15,734
You're totally the kind of doctor
I want to be when I get super-old.
220
00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:18,569
Compliment took
a bit of a left turn there.
221
00:11:18,607 --> 00:11:21,007
I just don't think you realize
how awesome it is for me
222
00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:23,238
to see a woman actually doing it,
you know?
223
00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,770
You're a great doctor
and you've got your life together.
224
00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:29,045
You're handling both.
Me, I've got nine texts this minute.
225
00:11:29,084 --> 00:11:32,576
My boyfriend needs me,
my dad wants his daily phone call,
226
00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:35,613
my sister Maureen is freaking out
about her bachelorette party.
227
00:11:35,658 --> 00:11:37,558
She has to have sex with her fiance
for the first time
228
00:11:37,593 --> 00:11:39,584
in case the stripper got her pregnant.
Long story.
229
00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:40,686
Oh, sure, sure.
230
00:11:40,729 --> 00:11:42,720
Plus, with all the studying
and the schoolwork...
231
00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:46,633
Lucy, you can do it.
You just need to learn how to prioritize.
232
00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:49,402
Uh-oh. I've been so emotional lately,
233
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:54,774
and I just pictured you as my little sister
and I'm starting to lose it.
234
00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:56,277
Quick, say something to remind me
how crazy you are.
235
00:11:56,312 --> 00:11:57,472
Um...
236
00:11:57,513 --> 00:12:01,074
I ran out of underwear today,
so I wore my bathing suit.
237
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,445
Huh. Thanks. All better.
238
00:12:04,687 --> 00:12:07,383
Hey, so you and me
got off on the wrong foot.
239
00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:08,754
Nobody's fault.
240
00:12:08,791 --> 00:12:10,418
I mean, you put two alpha dogs
in a cage
241
00:12:10,459 --> 00:12:12,154
and there's bound to be
some barking, right?
242
00:12:13,329 --> 00:12:18,028
- Yes, yes. We are exactly alike, indeed.
- See, you get it.
243
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,427
Anyway, I just want to talk
about my ranking
244
00:12:20,469 --> 00:12:23,905
- before the newsletter comes out.
- Spoiler alert. You're last.
245
00:12:23,939 --> 00:12:25,804
Hey, Dr. Cox, please.
246
00:12:25,841 --> 00:12:29,470
If my dad reads I'm at the bottom,
he might lose it and cut me off.
247
00:12:29,511 --> 00:12:32,002
Okay, I know
I don't act like it sometimes,
248
00:12:32,047 --> 00:12:33,537
but I really do want to be a doctor.
249
00:12:33,582 --> 00:12:36,517
Son, that is the first honest thing
you've ever said to me.
250
00:12:36,552 --> 00:12:39,248
Yeah, you know what it's like
to have a miserable judgmental bastard
251
00:12:39,288 --> 00:12:42,189
- for a dad?
- No, my father was so super-sweet
252
00:12:42,224 --> 00:12:45,387
that my entire childhood was an
endless parade of lollipops and hugs.
253
00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:47,019
Of course I do.
254
00:12:47,263 --> 00:12:49,788
Look, I can't just move you up
in the rankings based on nothing.
255
00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:51,891
So for the next week,
if I need something done,
256
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:54,994
- I'll go to you. We'll call it "extra-credit."
- Great.
257
00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:56,561
In fact, go to Bed 12.
258
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:58,766
There's a very, very large
sick man there
259
00:12:58,807 --> 00:13:01,332
who needs an alcohol bath
all over his entire body.
260
00:13:01,377 --> 00:13:03,641
Thank you for the opportunity.
261
00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:06,672
So, did he buy the whole
newsletter-rankings nonsense?
262
00:13:06,715 --> 00:13:09,707
Like an elderly shut-in
talking to a telemarketer.
263
00:13:09,752 --> 00:13:11,413
- Outstanding.
- It is.
264
00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:13,517
Thank you for meeting me.
265
00:13:13,555 --> 00:13:15,386
So, basically,
I'm looking for a work friend.
266
00:13:15,424 --> 00:13:17,949
Someone to pal around with
at the hospital.
267
00:13:17,993 --> 00:13:20,962
I am so ready to take this relationship
to the next level.
268
00:13:20,996 --> 00:13:24,227
You know, mentally,
physically and emotionally.
269
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,229
I'm sorry. Did you just say "physically"?
270
00:13:26,435 --> 00:13:28,403
Weird-five. Get there.
271
00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:33,131
If you were on a desert island,
what three CDs would you bring?
272
00:13:33,175 --> 00:13:36,906
Motorhead, Metallica, and the
original cast recording of Wicked.
273
00:13:36,945 --> 00:13:40,073
I stage-managed the Midwestern leg
of the '05 tour.
274
00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:42,845
And yes,
Kristin Chenoweth is a delight.
275
00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:44,910
Why am I here, again?
276
00:13:45,387 --> 00:13:47,548
- How's the food?
- This soup is amazing.
277
00:13:47,589 --> 00:13:49,147
Shut up, Frank.
278
00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:51,825
We are lucky enough to dine
with an educated physician,
279
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,225
and you order soup?
280
00:13:53,262 --> 00:13:57,460
I'm sorry, Dr. Turk. I'll send him back
for a sandwich, something more fitting.
281
00:13:57,499 --> 00:13:58,989
Talking about soup.
282
00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:03,633
How you doing, Kate?
283
00:14:03,672 --> 00:14:06,698
I'm a little nervous.
Is a bronchoscopy gonna hurt?
284
00:14:06,742 --> 00:14:08,107
There'll be
a little discomfort afterwards,
285
00:14:08,143 --> 00:14:09,303
but you'll be under for the procedure,
286
00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:10,676
and the whole thing will be over
in an hour.
287
00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:14,114
- And you'll be here when I wake up?
- Yeah, of course.
288
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,913
Isn't she the best?
289
00:14:17,353 --> 00:14:19,787
I think we're all searching
for something.
290
00:14:19,822 --> 00:14:22,882
Sometimes it's a replacement
for the irreplaceable...
291
00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:25,291
Look, Gandhi,
if you expect me to go all the way,
292
00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:28,023
you gotta step up your game
a little bit here, pal.
293
00:14:28,063 --> 00:14:31,760
Maybe take me out to a nice dinner,
introduce me to some of your friends.
294
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,427
You're not taking this seriously,
are you?
295
00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:35,403
Not even a little. And not just because
296
00:14:35,437 --> 00:14:38,270
I want nothing to do
with Dorian's sloppy seconds.
297
00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:39,797
Work sucks.
298
00:14:40,609 --> 00:14:42,770
You, however, have been lucky enough
to have worked
299
00:14:42,811 --> 00:14:44,745
with your very best friend
for eight years.
300
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,340
That will never, ever happen again.
301
00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:52,981
Other times, it's just a
hard-to-reach spot on a fat guy's back.
302
00:14:54,156 --> 00:14:56,624
- Oh, no.
- Dude, a little help.
303
00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,389
- Oh, isn't it terrible?
- Awful.
304
00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:00,587
Hmm.
305
00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:04,995
So, Miss Simmons is gonna wake up
in a while.
306
00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,864
Can I hang out with you
while you sit with her?
307
00:15:06,902 --> 00:15:09,871
Lucky for me,
I found what I was looking for.
308
00:15:10,072 --> 00:15:12,006
Please! I'm going home.
309
00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:15,276
And she was a lying, selfish jerk.
310
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,576
Morning, sunshine. You look rested.
311
00:15:25,616 --> 00:15:28,881
Wow, and making time
for the paper, too. That must be nice.
312
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:32,753
- Later, you munch.
- Did she just call me a buttmunch?
313
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:34,218
Well, she didn't use the word "butt,"
314
00:15:34,258 --> 00:15:35,953
though I can't think
of any other prominent type of munch,
315
00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:37,893
so yeah,
I think she called you a buttmunch.
316
00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:39,759
I'm Drew, by the way.
317
00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:42,093
So, I said to the lady,
318
00:15:42,132 --> 00:15:44,657
"Where can a well-hung marine
buy a pair of shoes around here?"
319
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,899
Don't even know what that is.
320
00:15:49,106 --> 00:15:52,564
- Turkleton, those days are gone.
- Dr. Kelso, really?
321
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,604
Please tell me you're not another one
of Dr. Turk's gentleman suitors.
322
00:15:55,846 --> 00:15:57,040
I am indeed.
323
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,105
I think it will be great
to have a black friend
324
00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:02,414
to help me out with the sisters.
Get my swirl on.
325
00:16:02,453 --> 00:16:04,648
That's what I'm talking about. Mmm.
326
00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:07,248
Holy crap. That totally looks
like a Korean Helen Hunt.
327
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,282
No, that's a Japanese Laura Dern.
328
00:16:09,326 --> 00:16:11,954
No, it's not.
I'm gonna get my picture with her.
329
00:16:11,995 --> 00:16:13,326
Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well...
330
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:16,196
Well, tell her I said I loved her
in Japanese Jurassic Park.
331
00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:18,701
Hey. You came here with me.
Why are you talking to her?
332
00:16:18,735 --> 00:16:21,260
- No, I'm still here with you!
- What the hell am I doing?
333
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:24,035
I always end up
in relationships like this.
334
00:16:24,074 --> 00:16:26,838
For once,
get out with some dignity, Bob.
335
00:16:26,877 --> 00:16:28,367
Don't ever call me again.
336
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,104
No, it's okay.
337
00:16:32,816 --> 00:16:34,875
Hey, crazy swimsuit girl.
What are you doing?
338
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:38,410
Volunteering at physical therapy.
I'm stretching Mr. Biegel's hamstring.
339
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,717
Stop. He'll be fine.
340
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:42,725
- How do you know?
- He works in the gift shop.
341
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,324
- You get what you can get.
- Please leave.
342
00:16:48,765 --> 00:16:51,791
- That baby isn't mine, is he?
- Get out, Kevin.
343
00:16:51,935 --> 00:16:54,495
Question. When you
called me "Munch,"
344
00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,937
were you referring to Richard Belzer's
beloved detective character
345
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,100
first established on Homicide,
346
00:16:58,141 --> 00:17:00,166
but best known SVU?
347
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,303
Crime procedurals soothe the baby.
348
00:17:02,346 --> 00:17:04,507
Luckily, there is a different one on
every nine seconds.
349
00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:06,948
You walked out on Miss Simmons
when she needed you.
350
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,281
I had to stay with her all night.
351
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:11,151
- She freaked out.
- She did?
352
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:12,519
Can I get you anything?
353
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:19,353
Yeah, it got real in there.
Big time.
354
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:22,954
Plus, I got no sleep,
and I had so much to do this morning
355
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,436
I had to do my dad phone call
while having sex with my boyfriend.
356
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:27,960
So many things wrong with that,
357
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,236
not the least of which is the fact that
it's the most turned on I've ever been.
358
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:32,833
- No filter, huh?
- Nope.
359
00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:35,572
Lucy, there was a hospital full
of residents and nurses here last night.
360
00:17:35,612 --> 00:17:37,307
If there was a problem
with Miss Simmons,
361
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,282
- I would have been called.
- Stop making excuses.
362
00:17:40,317 --> 00:17:41,841
You know,
I thought you could do everything,
363
00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:43,250
but I guess it just seems that way,
364
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:46,154
because you half-ass it
with your patients.
365
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,148
Come with me.
366
00:17:48,292 --> 00:17:51,284
Hey, Dr. Cox. I just finished cleaning
that guy's foot ulcer.
367
00:17:51,328 --> 00:17:54,195
- How'd that go for you?
- Not gonna lie. I yakked on his face.
368
00:17:54,231 --> 00:17:56,597
Otherwise, crushed it.
What else can I do?
369
00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:59,534
Actually, Drew here was about
to assist me with something.
370
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:01,060
Yeah, yeah. No, I got it.
What's the job?
371
00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:03,436
- Sorry, Charlie. This is my deal.
- No, you know what, Drew?
372
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,703
Cole's been really stepping up,
showing some promise.
373
00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:08,176
I'm gonna let him do this one. Room 32.
374
00:18:08,211 --> 00:18:11,112
I want you to do
a manual rectal disimpactation.
375
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:15,915
Mr. Hanson is very constipated.
You will fix that.
376
00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:19,115
With your hands.
377
00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:20,856
Oh, lucky.
378
00:18:20,924 --> 00:18:22,357
Yay!
379
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:28,488
- "Sorry, Charlie"?
- I thought I was brilliant.
380
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,266
Mr. Valdez is gonna need
another surgery, huh?
381
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,399
Yep.
382
00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:40,404
I don't think
he's gonna be able to take it.
383
00:18:40,444 --> 00:18:42,207
That totally sucks.
384
00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:46,110
Um...
385
00:18:46,617 --> 00:18:50,314
If you want,
today is Eileen in Radiology's birthday
386
00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:53,152
and I was gonna go up there
and just steal her cake.
387
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:55,055
I hate Eileen in Radiology.
388
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,289
I'm definitely in. She's so nice
it makes me want to cut her throat.
389
00:18:58,329 --> 00:18:59,626
I know, right?
390
00:18:59,663 --> 00:19:01,858
I was thinking, after that,
maybe we could stop on three
391
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:03,230
and then I'd show you the nurse
that looks like...
392
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,202
- Looks like a Nigerian Kelly Ripa?
- Thank you!
393
00:19:07,538 --> 00:19:09,665
Lucy, Miss Simmons needs
a new IV placed.
394
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:12,437
What say you take a shot at it?
395
00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:16,243
Yeah, I, um...
396
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,180
Hands are a little shaky there.
397
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:21,582
I'm jacked up on 17 cups of coffee
because I haven't slept a lot lately,
398
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,452
and my head is sweating.
But I'll be fine.
399
00:19:26,056 --> 00:19:28,388
Don't you think
you should disinfect the area?
400
00:19:28,425 --> 00:19:30,450
Good catch, Kate.
What do you think, Lucy?
401
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,792
Should we wipe away
all the deadly bacteria,
402
00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:35,196
or just do this Civil War style?
403
00:19:38,335 --> 00:19:41,793
- I really shouldn't be doing this.
- No, you shouldn't.
404
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,607
One second.
405
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:49,468
Once again, a giant swing and a miss
for Lucy Bennett.
406
00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:50,912
What's wrong with me?
407
00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:53,576
Lucy, when I got pregnant,
I learned two things.
408
00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:57,815
Ketchup on cereal is delicious,
and sometimes you have to be selfish.
409
00:19:57,855 --> 00:19:59,345
That's why I went home last night.
410
00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:03,087
I mean, finally I have something inside
me forcing me to take care of myself.
411
00:20:03,127 --> 00:20:04,958
See, I'm like you.
I probably ended up in medicine
412
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,589
because I want to try
to take care of the whole world.
413
00:20:07,631 --> 00:20:09,929
But here's the crazy thing
about being a doctor.
414
00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:12,492
You can't even take care
of one single patient
415
00:20:12,536 --> 00:20:15,403
unless you learn
how to take care of yourself first.
416
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,066
So tell your dad
you can't talk every day,
417
00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:19,132
have your boyfriend grab a cold shower
every once in a while,
418
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,905
stop doing slides for Dr. Turk
419
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,742
and let your sister
mess up her own life.
420
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:26,807
That's the key to being a good doctor.
You first, then the world.
421
00:20:27,451 --> 00:20:29,783
Now go home and get some sleep.
422
00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,525
I guess there are lots of ways
to get by in a hospital.
423
00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,322
You can try to just suck it up,
424
00:20:38,495 --> 00:20:41,020
Or find someone to make
the day-to-day hell bearable.
425
00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:43,362
- Mmm.
- Mmm. Get the middle.
426
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,334
For me, it was just about
learning who comes first.
427
00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:02,510
Aw, schtupes!
428
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,613
Old King Cole is in the house!
429
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,722
Hey, did everybody see the newsletter?
Check it out.
430
00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:12,126
Number one, Aaronson comma Cole.
431
00:21:12,763 --> 00:21:15,493
Isn't that just an alphabetized list
of all the students in our class?
432
00:21:15,532 --> 00:21:16,590
Yep.
433
00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:18,761
- You gonna tell him?
- I haven't decided.
434
00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:23,501
Oh, too bad, Bennett comma Lucy.
What happened, Suffin?
435
00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:25,940
You're, like, two-thirds of the way
down this thing. That is rough.
436
00:21:25,976 --> 00:21:27,409
I don't know. But congratulations.
437
00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:30,936
Yup, old Double- "A" Aaronson
nailed it again.
438
00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,778
You suck, Zimmerman!
36836
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