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1
00:00:00,301 --> 00:00:03,099
Being in med school is
kind of like being in basic training.
2
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,332
And the professors
are like drill sergeants.
3
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,136
Some rule with an iron fist.
4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:11,133
Do you feel the spit raining down
on your face, maggot?
5
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:15,308
And will you ever forget
the excessive production of saliva
6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,341
is a condition known as sialorrhea?
7
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,047
Sialorrhea!
8
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,145
Sir, no, sir!
9
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,621
Others carry a big stick.
10
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,851
You want to become a doctor?
11
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,951
Well, you're gonna have to work.
12
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,860
Work your little scrubs off.
13
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,728
Is this the speech from Fame?
14
00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:35,293
You want fame? Well, fame costs.
15
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,397
Our only hope for getting
through it? Teamwork.
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,500
Unfortunately,
we all just looked out for ourselves.
17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,970
Cole, I need the retractor.
18
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,672
- I'm using it right now.
- Seriously?
19
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,739
Yeah, I don't like touching bread.
Creeps me out.
20
00:00:48,783 --> 00:00:51,479
- Give him the stupid retractor.
- What?
21
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,816
Give me my sandwich.
22
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,016
Who did this?
23
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:10,493
If you wanna keep sleeping with me,
I expect you to have my back.
24
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,699
God, you've got so many rules.
25
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,106
Get your back,
listen to you when you talk,
26
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,609
stay out of your purse.
27
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:19,238
Damn, girl, quit playing games.
28
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,838
At least the weekend was coming.
29
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,645
We needed some fun,
and Cole was throwing a party.
30
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:24,843
Fame.
31
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,750
This weekend
was gonna be amazing.
32
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,813
I was spending it
with the love of my life.
33
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,121
- Elliot gone?
- Gone. Carla?
34
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,990
Long gone and took the kids.
35
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:37,020
Nice!
Bro-A-Palooza has officially begun.
36
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,964
We're not calling it Bro-A-Palooza.
37
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,523
Why not? I already made T-shirts.
38
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,092
That's awesome. Where's mine?
39
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,660
This is yours!
40
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:48,634
I've decided to no longer
refer to you two as pathetic.
41
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,700
Thanks, Perry.
42
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,870
Instead, since my nephew gave me
43
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,540
my very first thesaurus
as a birthday present,
44
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,949
I'm going to allow you to choose
from the following, if you will.
45
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:03,389
"Miserable, pitiful, sorry, wretched,
deplorable, regrettable or sad."
46
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,154
"Wretched" sounds like Dickens.
We'll go with "wretched."
47
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,390
No, it's just Old Man doesn't
understand two young guns
48
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,725
Out on the town.
49
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,699
He doesn't get Bro-A-Palooza.
50
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,735
8:00 p.m. To question mark.
51
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,669
That means
we don't even know when it ends.
52
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,196
So many things to tear apart here.
53
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:23,836
I'll focus on your delusion
that you are still young.
54
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,642
You're both much closer to 40
than you are 20.
55
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,342
Let's face it, you're just like me.
56
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,874
Old, tired and you gotta get up
a lot at night to take a pee.
57
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:32,977
Is he psychic?
58
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:36,478
Hey, Field Hockey, your med students
are acting like animals.
59
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:41,361
You think licking will stop me?
I've eaten out of dumpsters.
60
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,885
- They're not my med students.
- They are,
61
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,091
because you are their faculty advisor.
62
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:48,590
You will advise them to start
working together like a team.
63
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:52,436
And even more importantly,
you will teach them to never,
64
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:56,341
ever again lay their grubby paws
on my glazed donut.
65
00:02:56,377 --> 00:03:00,507
It is the one sprinkled,
sugary beacon of light left in my life.
66
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,648
- But they're not my students.
- Actually, they are.
67
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,153
Because you're their
faculty student advisor.
68
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,918
So you will advise them that if they
wanna get through med school,
69
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,049
they have to work together.
70
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,583
And don't touch donuts,
they're beacons of light. Or whatever.
71
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,391
When did I become
the student advisor?
72
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,954
When you slept
with the faculty advisor.
73
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,522
Your mom's the faculty advisor?
74
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,831
Joke's on you, my mom's dead.
75
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,329
Really?
76
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,629
- Yeah, you guys coming to my party?
- Yes.
77
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,538
I cannot wait to wear a dress
78
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,440
and have a reason
to actually shave again.
79
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,138
It is like the friggin'
Amazon down there.
80
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,613
Too far, too far. Too far.
81
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,549
Gonna be nuts to butts up in that piece.
Big ol' wrangle-dangle.
82
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,679
Yeah, you're making it sound horrible,
but I'm still gonna go.
83
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,813
I need to have some fun.
84
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,153
I've spent the last three weekends
finishing up community service.
85
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,457
Hey, I'm sorry.
I was under the impression
86
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,586
you'd all be much younger.
87
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,225
Turns out dinosaur costumes
are extremely flammable.
88
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:56,726
I think we all need to let loose,
and, in my case, let Lucy.
89
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:00,831
Oh.
90
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,438
Hello, murderers,
butchers, slaughterers, slayers.
91
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,672
I love this thing.
92
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:08,409
- Did you hear that I was quitting?
- I did, Ted.
93
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,384
I just haven't really figured out
how to pretend I care yet.
94
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,442
Understandable.
95
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,351
Theodore,
I always assumed that someday
96
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,481
we'd just find you dead in your office.
97
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,616
Yeah, that was the dream.
98
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,162
But the Gooch and I are gonna take
some time off and tour the country.
99
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:24,858
We've written a song for every state.
100
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:27,731
I'm sure I'll hear all of them
when I die and go to hell.
101
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,794
Damn elevator.
102
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,633
Alabama
103
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,869
They wear pajamas
104
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,035
They eat their ham-a
105
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,271
So bring your camera
106
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,645
To Alabama
107
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,408
Arkansas
108
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,577
The dogs have paws
109
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745
The states have laws
110
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,015
The girls wear bras
111
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:52,116
Depending on the weather
112
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,421
I'm out.
113
00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:19,208
Phase one of Bro-A-Palooza
starts now.
114
00:05:19,248 --> 00:05:20,738
I'm making quesadillas.
115
00:05:20,783 --> 00:05:22,808
- Pepper jack?
- Who are you talking to?
116
00:05:26,989 --> 00:05:28,479
Oh.
117
00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:30,287
I see with your wives out of town,
118
00:05:30,326 --> 00:05:32,453
you've whipped yourselves
into a lesbian frenzy.
119
00:05:32,495 --> 00:05:34,588
What, do I need to get
a garden hose to separate you two?
120
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,962
You can't separate us.
We're attached by fun.
121
00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:38,523
And tonight's gonna be awesome.
122
00:05:38,568 --> 00:05:40,763
He just fell from the ceiling.
We're not gonna address that?
123
00:05:40,803 --> 00:05:44,170
Your Loser-Palooza is embarrassing.
And I'll be honest with you,
124
00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:46,505
I would've assumed
that two "hip" young guys
125
00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:49,807
such as yourselves would be headed
to the big med school party.
126
00:05:49,846 --> 00:05:52,076
There's a party? What's the theme?
127
00:05:52,114 --> 00:05:54,776
Murder-mystery? Disco? Star Wars?
128
00:05:54,817 --> 00:05:57,980
Sixties? Seventies? Eighties?
Nineties? The future?
129
00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:00,045
Please say it's a Star Wars themed
murder-mystery
130
00:06:00,089 --> 00:06:01,420
set in the Roaring Twenties.
131
00:06:01,457 --> 00:06:03,891
The theme is cowboys and Indians.
132
00:06:04,227 --> 00:06:06,491
Yes. We are there.
133
00:06:06,529 --> 00:06:07,553
Cowboys and Indians?
134
00:06:07,597 --> 00:06:10,464
Not my first choice,
but I do have chaps.
135
00:06:10,766 --> 00:06:12,199
I'm liking my new dress.
136
00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:15,398
- It makes my boobs look even.
- Okay.
137
00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:18,168
I am getting so much better
at making friends.
138
00:06:18,207 --> 00:06:21,199
Boom, looks like the bassist
and drummer from Nickelback
139
00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:23,405
are rolling through the party.
Acoustic set, yo.
140
00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:25,004
Please tell me
some of your super-solid bros
141
00:06:25,047 --> 00:06:28,073
- from prep school will be there.
- Topher and Boots are en route.
142
00:06:28,117 --> 00:06:30,642
Where's everyone going?
Nice dress. Your boobs look weird.
143
00:06:30,686 --> 00:06:32,654
- Not from up here.
- Going to my party.
144
00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:33,780
That's not happening.
145
00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:36,485
Tonight we're trying a little exercise
in team building.
146
00:06:36,525 --> 00:06:38,390
No one leaves
until you take final interviews
147
00:06:38,427 --> 00:06:40,258
from the four terminal patients
on this floor.
148
00:06:40,296 --> 00:06:41,490
What's a final interview?
149
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:43,259
It's a chance for old dying people
to bore you
150
00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:44,630
with their life story before they kick it.
151
00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:47,067
No, Denise. Have some respect.
152
00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:49,927
A final interview
isn't some inconsequential thing
153
00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:51,234
a med student can just blow through.
154
00:06:51,274 --> 00:06:52,764
It actually really matters.
155
00:06:52,808 --> 00:06:54,673
Now hold my pepper jack, please.
156
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,234
Come with me, children.
157
00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:59,646
Hold it like a baby bird, Denise.
Pepper J bruises.
158
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:03,284
You have the sacred privilege
of being with someone
159
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:06,880
and recording their precious memories
as they prepare to die.
160
00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:08,288
I'm dying?
161
00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:12,020
No, not dying. Just tonsillitis.
162
00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:14,928
So you get to gargle. Gargle, gargle.
163
00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:18,732
- Why would you let me go in there?
- Why would I stop you?
164
00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:20,702
- This is good cheese.
- Get off my cheese!
165
00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:23,967
How long do final interviews
with actual dying people take?
166
00:07:26,342 --> 00:07:28,139
If you work together, it'll go faster.
167
00:07:28,177 --> 00:07:32,011
But let me make this very clear,
no one leaves until you're all done.
168
00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:34,039
All done or none done.
169
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:37,514
Damn.
Boots is gonna be pissed.
170
00:07:38,554 --> 00:07:40,351
And the last state is Wyoming
171
00:07:40,389 --> 00:07:42,186
Lots of wigs to be combing
172
00:07:42,224 --> 00:07:43,816
And the buffalo are roaming
173
00:07:43,859 --> 00:07:45,622
No Jews to be shalom-ing
174
00:07:45,661 --> 00:07:50,155
In the great state of Wyoming
175
00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:52,258
You have the voice of an angel.
176
00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:53,495
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
177
00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:54,867
Not you, Ted.
178
00:07:54,904 --> 00:07:58,135
If I were 10 years younger
and you were 10 years younger...
179
00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:01,439
It's too late, sir, I've already tapped it.
180
00:08:01,477 --> 00:08:02,569
Ted Buckland.
181
00:08:02,611 --> 00:08:05,045
I'm sorry, he brings it out of me.
182
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:08,346
It's okay.
I didn't always treat Teddy very well.
183
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:12,184
Say, how about we do
a last night out on the town?
184
00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:13,950
Let me give you a proper send-off.
185
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,117
That would mean a lot, sir.
186
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,450
- Ted!
- I'm sorry, it's him.
187
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,561
It's not. It's me.
188
00:08:23,699 --> 00:08:25,064
An Indian wouldn't wear chaps.
189
00:08:25,101 --> 00:08:26,193
You're forgetting my back story.
190
00:08:26,235 --> 00:08:29,932
I killed the cowboy then took his chaps.
I'm also a sheriff.
191
00:08:32,408 --> 00:08:33,932
It's not a theme party, is it?
192
00:08:33,976 --> 00:08:37,036
No, but thank you
for the great early birthday present.
193
00:08:37,079 --> 00:08:38,137
Say "cheese."
194
00:08:39,582 --> 00:08:42,881
- Well done, girls.
- To hell with it. I'm going in.
195
00:08:43,986 --> 00:08:46,216
Maybe no one'll notice.
Let's just try and blend in.
196
00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:50,451
Black cowboy?
Son, what are you doing?
197
00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:52,688
Me? He's the Indian wearing chaps.
198
00:08:52,728 --> 00:08:53,922
When it works, it works.
199
00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:55,590
I'm also a sheriff.
200
00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:57,030
What are you guys
doing here, anyway?
201
00:08:57,066 --> 00:08:58,363
Picking up some extra cash.
202
00:08:58,401 --> 00:09:00,665
We do bar security,
bouncy-house rentals.
203
00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:03,467
- We got a line of...
- We have a line of homemade salsa.
204
00:09:03,506 --> 00:09:06,771
Shut your face, Frank.
I was gonna tell them about the salsas.
205
00:09:06,809 --> 00:09:09,175
- Copy that.
- I don't have you guys on the list.
206
00:09:09,211 --> 00:09:12,442
It's probably under D, for Dr. D, or,
207
00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:15,211
maybe Dr. Dizzle,
perhaps D to the lzzle.
208
00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:17,481
- Oh, here. We have a D. Izzle.
- That's probably it.
209
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,748
I'm Dave lzzle.
210
00:09:21,524 --> 00:09:23,890
Hey! It's Special K. How it is?
211
00:09:23,926 --> 00:09:28,886
Melvis, Frank.
Listen, that salsa was in-frickin'-sane.
212
00:09:29,165 --> 00:09:30,393
These are my plus two.
213
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,663
Dr. Kelso, do you think
you could hook us up, too?
214
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:34,498
You're gonna have to ask
Ted about that,
215
00:09:34,537 --> 00:09:36,835
because this is Ted's night.
216
00:09:36,872 --> 00:09:39,102
- Ted?
- I'm going to say yes,
217
00:09:39,141 --> 00:09:42,338
but I've never had
this kind of power before,
218
00:09:42,378 --> 00:09:44,778
so I'm going to milk it, okay?
219
00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:48,341
- Go ahead. Do your thing.
- I mean, you gotta... You...
220
00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:54,145
Let it be so!
221
00:09:55,157 --> 00:09:56,454
Amen.
222
00:09:56,826 --> 00:10:01,126
We have to ask them 25 questions?
This is gonna take forever.
223
00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:03,290
Hey, no problem, Luce, it's just...
224
00:10:03,332 --> 00:10:05,892
The final interview
225
00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:12,370
Man, I just thought of that.
226
00:10:12,408 --> 00:10:14,672
Damn, I'm gonna be a good doctor.
227
00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:16,541
Look, we'll split up the patients, okay?
228
00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:20,242
It'll be quick and easy,
and then we can get to Cole's party.
229
00:10:23,652 --> 00:10:25,483
- Done.
- Done.
230
00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,949
Super-done. My dude is dead.
231
00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:35,628
Peace, I gotta go drown my sorrows
with a Jagerbomb.
232
00:10:35,664 --> 00:10:37,154
Where's Lucy?
233
00:10:38,033 --> 00:10:41,059
Um... What is your birth date?
234
00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:46,101
Probably just find that in the chart.
How about, are you married?
235
00:10:47,776 --> 00:10:48,936
Okay.
236
00:10:50,312 --> 00:10:53,873
Do you think that when bears hibernate
they have super-long dreams?
237
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:55,508
- What?
- You spoke.
238
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:57,678
I got you. Now you owe me an answer.
239
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,121
You know, tit for tat, which,
by the way, is a horrible expression.
240
00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:03,148
It sounds pornographic.
241
00:11:03,192 --> 00:11:04,250
Listen, girlie,
242
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:05,453
I'm not interested in answering
243
00:11:05,494 --> 00:11:07,655
a bunch of stupid questions
off of a form,
244
00:11:07,696 --> 00:11:10,494
so why don't you just
leave me the hell alone?
245
00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:11,727
Great.
246
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:16,299
Well, I guess it's time
for a little goodbye toast.
247
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:19,068
I'm not really much of a toast guy.
248
00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:23,977
A fond farewell to that skanky blonde
heading out the door.
249
00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:26,675
I'm gonna see
what other chickens are in the coop.
250
00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,410
Aw.
251
00:11:32,755 --> 00:11:34,586
Eleven seconds. You beat your record.
252
00:11:34,623 --> 00:11:36,818
Whoo! I'm spinning.
253
00:11:36,859 --> 00:11:39,726
Maybe next time you should try it
with alcohol instead of soda.
254
00:11:39,762 --> 00:11:41,696
Don't be insane. This is awesome.
255
00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:44,995
- Yeah, it is. We're letting them know.
- True dat.
256
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,802
Who and what are we letting know?
257
00:11:48,737 --> 00:11:49,863
Mine won't talk.
258
00:11:49,905 --> 00:11:52,738
He wasn't even intrigued
by my bear-hibernation question.
259
00:11:52,775 --> 00:11:55,039
For the last time,
they don't dream and nobody cares.
260
00:11:55,077 --> 00:11:56,806
They do and everybody cares.
261
00:11:56,845 --> 00:11:59,814
I'm sorry about your party,
but I was very clear.
262
00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:01,907
All done or none done.
263
00:12:02,985 --> 00:12:05,453
Hey, guys, my patient just died,
264
00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:08,320
I'm feeling a little too upset
to keep working.
265
00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:10,416
Really? What was his name?
266
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,555
Look, I can't do this right now, Drew.
I'm hurting.
267
00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:18,962
You're really gonna leave us?
268
00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:21,435
I don't know if you can see
how much my soul dies
269
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,267
every time I let you back into my bed,
270
00:12:23,305 --> 00:12:26,433
but it would make me hate myself,
like, four notches less
271
00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:29,137
if I thought you had one decent bone
in your body.
272
00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:32,804
Please don't laugh because
I said "bone."
273
00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:37,046
Hey, look, baby, I would love to stay,
but I just don't want to.
274
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,200
- Whoo! Good one.
- Whoo! Go on, boy.
275
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:55,101
Please, please, tell me
that this is just an intermission,
276
00:12:55,137 --> 00:12:57,435
because I don't want this show
to ever end.
277
00:12:57,473 --> 00:12:58,940
Why are you here, Perry?
278
00:12:58,974 --> 00:13:01,670
To laugh, to cry, to cry from laughing,
279
00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:03,837
but mostly to laugh
at two desperate guys
280
00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,313
on an ice slide
to an irrelevant middle age.
281
00:13:06,348 --> 00:13:08,680
Well, not only have we been
letting them know...
282
00:13:08,717 --> 00:13:11,117
- Is that the correct expression?
- That's it right there, let them know.
283
00:13:11,153 --> 00:13:13,644
Well, we've been letting them know
by doing the Cabbage Patch,
284
00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:15,589
the Running Man and the Capoeira.
285
00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:18,149
That's right.
That's Brazilian dance-fighting.
286
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:20,320
- In your face.
- Where's the jackass?
287
00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:23,125
Jackass, come.
288
00:13:24,266 --> 00:13:25,392
What up?
289
00:13:25,434 --> 00:13:27,629
Now you are the host of this party,
290
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:30,070
and to some extent,
the voice of your generation.
291
00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:33,074
And while I sadly acknowledge
that heralds the coming apocalypse,
292
00:13:33,108 --> 00:13:36,544
I do value your opinion
on one thing in particular.
293
00:13:36,578 --> 00:13:38,944
Wow. You're like Shakespeare, yo.
294
00:13:38,981 --> 00:13:41,916
I am. I am like Shakespeare, yo.
295
00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:43,383
Now look around the room real quick
296
00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:46,320
and tell me the five lamest people
that you see.
297
00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:47,822
Feel free to start with me.
298
00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:50,290
Cool. One, old.
299
00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:53,455
Two, bald and shiny.
300
00:13:53,796 --> 00:13:55,661
Three, super-old.
301
00:13:56,565 --> 00:13:59,432
Four, checked out my junk at the urinal.
302
00:13:59,468 --> 00:14:02,198
And five, has weird junk.
303
00:14:02,971 --> 00:14:04,165
Number four told me.
304
00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:06,140
- We didn't make the list.
- Nope, we didn't.
305
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:07,870
- You've just been served.
- Yeah, and you know what?
306
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,639
We're gonna rub it in your face
a little bit
307
00:14:09,678 --> 00:14:11,543
by doing some Brazilian fight-dancing.
308
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:15,573
- Five, six, seven, eight.
- Capoeira. Capoeira.
309
00:14:23,158 --> 00:14:25,217
That was outstanding.
310
00:14:25,694 --> 00:14:28,857
Sometimes reality takes the form
of a kick to the head.
311
00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:30,694
Sorry, bros, you just moved up
312
00:14:30,733 --> 00:14:33,133
to the number one and two spots
on my lame list.
313
00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:34,658
Well, I think Turk should be
number one
314
00:14:34,703 --> 00:14:37,263
because he appears to be bleeding.
315
00:14:37,306 --> 00:14:40,241
Other times
it gets right up in your grill.
316
00:14:41,343 --> 00:14:43,709
- Why would you page me?
- Paul just wants to be left alone.
317
00:14:43,746 --> 00:14:44,804
Just let us go.
318
00:14:44,847 --> 00:14:46,644
We'll come back in the morning
and take another shot at him.
319
00:14:46,682 --> 00:14:49,742
Great, I'll go talk to his liver
and tell it to stop failing.
320
00:14:49,785 --> 00:14:51,252
You don't get it, do you?
321
00:14:51,286 --> 00:14:53,311
Patients don't do things
on your schedule.
322
00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:56,222
This isn't high school, guys.
This is real.
323
00:14:56,859 --> 00:14:59,657
You know what?
Do whatever you want.
324
00:14:59,695 --> 00:15:01,754
I don't give a rat's ass.
325
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:04,630
Just make sure
you can live with yourself.
326
00:15:13,504 --> 00:15:15,062
I'm really sorry, C-Bear.
327
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:18,837
I had no idea my range of motion
would be so incredible in these chaps.
328
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,503
That's a lie. I totally knew.
329
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:23,945
I can't believe I let you sew my eye up
after all the soda you had.
330
00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:26,677
This night definitely didn't turn out
the way I hoped it would.
331
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,688
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
332
00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:33,218
Did you have us in the chairs again?
333
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:35,623
We weren't getting married, Turk.
We were becoming men.
334
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,494
Hey, did you guys dress up
for the kids in the cancer ward?
335
00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:42,325
- Yes, we... That's what we were...
- Yeah. Yes.
336
00:15:42,366 --> 00:15:44,300
Yeah, and then what happened was,
337
00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,803
one of the kids hit me in the head
with a toy.
338
00:15:46,837 --> 00:15:48,896
Yeah, 'cause he was mad.
339
00:15:49,874 --> 00:15:51,273
'Cause he had the cancer.
340
00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:53,072
Okay. We're just...
341
00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:54,835
Hey. How did the final interviews go?
342
00:15:54,879 --> 00:15:56,278
Not perfect.
343
00:15:56,314 --> 00:15:59,841
But we decided as a group
that we can live with ourselves.
344
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:01,476
Well, I know those things are hard.
345
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:05,649
Turk and I had to do one last year.
We couldn't get the guy to say a word.
346
00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:07,521
We ended up skipping
our big steak night
347
00:16:07,558 --> 00:16:09,583
and we just spent hours talking to him.
348
00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:11,891
He had a lot he needed to say
before he passed on.
349
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,897
Yeah, it definitely meant a lot to him.
350
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,092
I gotta say, for me, though,
it was probably
351
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:18,658
one of the most memorable nights
I've ever had as a doctor.
352
00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:19,931
Me, too.
353
00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:26,802
We just dropped a knowledge bomb
on your asses.
354
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,570
Dr. Turk was right.
355
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:33,447
A knowledge bomb
had been dropped on our asses.
356
00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:35,384
So we decided to take another shot,
357
00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:38,183
even though Paul
wasn't gonna talk to any of us.
358
00:16:38,222 --> 00:16:40,315
What up, nerds?
359
00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:45,022
Hey, this Paul dude is awesome.
He nailed Marilyn Monroe.
360
00:16:45,062 --> 00:16:47,257
Oh, no.
It was actually Marilyn Montrose.
361
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,698
Same diff.
Chicks named Marilyn are hot.
362
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:51,634
I can't believe you came back.
363
00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:53,694
It wasn't my idea. Denise made me.
364
00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:55,672
- How did you get him to talk?
- We had a conversation.
365
00:16:55,706 --> 00:16:59,039
All Hot Stuff here did
was ask questions off a form.
366
00:16:59,543 --> 00:17:01,807
Are you choosing to smile
and ignore the insult
367
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,144
'cause he called you "Hot Stuff"?
Attagirl.
368
00:17:04,181 --> 00:17:06,513
Hey, did you know
Paulie got a Purple Heart in Korea?
369
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,643
I didn't even know we fought Korea.
370
00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:11,519
So Paul, how'd you get
your Purple Heart?
371
00:17:12,556 --> 00:17:14,387
Come on, talk to us.
372
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,423
Whoops!
373
00:17:18,929 --> 00:17:21,659
That's not my drink. It's good, though.
374
00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:24,497
Methinks it's quitting time.
375
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,666
Good night, Gooch.
376
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,699
Ted.
377
00:17:29,707 --> 00:17:31,402
- Ted.
- That's it?
378
00:17:31,442 --> 00:17:33,740
I've been your whipping boy
for eight years,
379
00:17:33,778 --> 00:17:38,306
and all I get before I disappear forever
is a wet, clammy handshake?
380
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,110
And yes, I know
that's from my hand, not yours.
381
00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:45,247
And yes, I know
that we've never really been friends.
382
00:17:45,289 --> 00:17:49,385
And yes, I know that the Gooch
is way too attractive for me.
383
00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:52,919
That's not relevant right now,
it's just always on my mind.
384
00:17:52,963 --> 00:17:55,898
- Please don't leave me for a baritone.
- I won't.
385
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:59,528
Ted, I'm so hammered
that the only thing I can think about
386
00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:02,539
are those 30-cent hotdogs
at the gas station,
387
00:18:02,573 --> 00:18:04,063
so wrap it up.
388
00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:07,908
You owe me more than a handshake.
Let's go, honey.
389
00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:16,415
That's not my drink, either.
390
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:20,287
In war,
you have to make the hard choices.
391
00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:24,454
So I shot the man.
But I'll never forget his face.
392
00:18:24,995 --> 00:18:27,259
No way. You wasted a dude?
393
00:18:27,298 --> 00:18:28,856
Hey, my buddy killed a guy once.
394
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,163
Backed right over him in a mini-mall.
It was crazy.
395
00:18:31,202 --> 00:18:32,567
Yeah, that's the same.
396
00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:34,867
I can't believe you were our age
when all that happened.
397
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,397
Yeah, you and me both.
Some of our guys never made it home.
398
00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:43,106
The rest of us tried to keep in touch.
But, you know, life gets in the way.
399
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:47,743
I haven't seen any of them for years,
but I think about them all the time.
400
00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,278
You know, when you spend
the hardest time in your life
401
00:18:50,321 --> 00:18:53,484
with a group of people,
you're bonded forever.
402
00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,684
What're you guys still doing here?
403
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:56,488
All done, none done. Remember?
404
00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,154
Wow. That crap worked.
405
00:18:58,195 --> 00:19:01,096
I faculty-advised
the hell out of you guys.
406
00:19:01,132 --> 00:19:05,831
I think it dawned on all of us
that, in a way, we were war buddies.
407
00:19:07,204 --> 00:19:09,365
And we wouldn't be able
to get through med school
408
00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:12,068
if we didn't have each other's backs.
409
00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:17,140
Leave him! Every man for themselves!
410
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,180
Well, it dawned on most of us.
411
00:19:23,387 --> 00:19:26,117
Hey, thanks for making Cole
come back.
412
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:27,647
I didn't make him come back.
413
00:19:27,691 --> 00:19:32,025
I really hate talking to that guy.
It adds an extra shower to my day.
414
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,961
I can't believe it's been 12 years
since we started medical school.
415
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,437
We're getting old, Kemo Sabe.
416
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,871
Well, thank you, Lord.
417
00:19:42,907 --> 00:19:45,501
Now you do realize you could have
saved yourself a lot of embarrassment,
418
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,602
a lot of time and about seven stitches
419
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,704
if you'd just admitted to that
a little earlier.
420
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,544
Of course, it wouldn't have been
as much fun for me
421
00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:55,279
and I damn sure wouldn't have
gotten this terrific screen saver.
422
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,253
- He's gonna want a copy of that.
- No, I won't.
423
00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:59,153
Hello, Christmas cards.
424
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:01,454
There's nothing wrong
with getting older.
425
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,188
So do yourself a favor.
Get a prostate exam,
426
00:20:04,228 --> 00:20:07,720
stop wearing ironic T-shirts
and just let it happen.
427
00:20:08,899 --> 00:20:12,335
Sometimes we have to embrace
the hard truths about ourselves,
428
00:20:12,369 --> 00:20:15,964
whether it's what we really wanna do
on a big night out
429
00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:20,641
or realizing that you're never
as strong alone as you are together.
430
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,537
I can't believe we found them.
431
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:24,707
I can't believe they came.
432
00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,477
...three straps!
34192
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