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Hello, welcome to Blood Twinkles Incorporated.
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I am going to be twinking all of your blood today.
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Every last drop, I'm feeling pretty thirsty, so I had the option to sort of, I could have
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chosen just a smaller portion of blood, and then other vampires could have been drinking
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it.
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But I had a very white breakfast, so I'm feeling pretty thirsty, so I opted to twink all of
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your blood.
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Okay, all of it, all of your blood.
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It was not personal, it was simply personally picked based on my very personal preferences.
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My favorite kind of blood to twink is, you played a lot of video games, and so the blood
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congeals in your legs a lot, and it makes very gummy texture, so gummy legs are my favorite
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kind of blood.
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So I hope you will understand, it is not personal, it is just based on my personal preferences,
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okay?
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So I'm gonna, I'm gonna drink all of it.
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Oh, I forgot to say, Point Twinklers Incorporated is a, is a sort of a restaurant, sort of money
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wandering scheme, but it matches you, the vampire, or not you, me, the vampire, with
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bloodbrags that are very good match for you, so you're the best match for me, and I think
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that's all the things I was supposed to tell you.
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Oh, first, we have to do a sort of, um, survey, so, I mean, I'm gonna ask you a few questions,
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okay?
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Okay.
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Um, what, what is your blood type?
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That's really gross.
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I, I hope that gummy legs sort of make up for that, cuz that is my least favorite blood
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type.
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So, gross.
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Um, okay, so, uh, what is your, um, what is your age?
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Okay.
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Okay, now, uh, the next question is, what is your mood on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being
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the best mood you ever have, and, uh, when being, you feel, you feel awful, bad?
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Okay, um, that's pretty well.
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Maybe you, well, I would normally suggest K.O. and, and yoga, but I don't, I don't,
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you're not gonna be able to have, uh, time to do that after you die, so, that's, I guess,
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so I have a personal problem for you.
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Normally, I, I'm a very good listener, but it's just different now.
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Okay, so, um, the next question is gonna be, um, uh, is, what is your favorite meal?
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I would really appreciate, appreciate if you would, um, answer your questions instead of,
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um, begging.
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That's pretty awkward for me, um, I'm trying to be very, um, what's the word, uh, like
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diplomatic about, about, about the blood drinking.
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It's, it's not like I chose to be vampire, so, um, like, like I said, favorite meal.
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Oh my gosh, I also really liked that meal when I was human, it was good, it was, it
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was good yummy, okay, um, now next question is do you, um, do you drink or smoke or do
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drugs?
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Okay, that makes the flavor better, good, um, now, have you ever, um, have you ever
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done any sort of, um, have you ever taken iron supplements in the last week?
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Okay, good, cause I'm kind of low on iron and it's good to get it in your meals instead
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of supplements so then you and my meal, okay, um, so next question is, uh, your next question
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is, do you, um, what does that say, do you, do you have any mental illnesses?
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Okay, um, like, what kind, mm-hmm, oh that's sad, yeah, my, my, my, my father never loved
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me either, but, uh, that's okay now cause he's dead, oh yeah, I, um, I killed him, he
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was gonna die of old age by now anyway, but, um, I killed him, I, I killed him a lot, many
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kills, I didn't drink his blood cause that's gross, but I did, um, I did sort of, uh, meme,
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like whip tail meme, mm-hmm, my favorite kind of, um, maiming is whipping and tearing, okay,
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um, my next question is, um, have, in the past two weeks, have you ever had thoughts
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about hurting yourself or others, right, that's not, you know, it's not good to hurt other
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people, everybody's different for me cause I'm a vampire, so, you can't, you can't bring
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me, and you can't bring being a brogo on why you wanna hurt people, or being a cancer,
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or being a scorpio, okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm just gonna ask, okay,
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what is this, when you think of a circle, what do you think of, I think that's what
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it says, okay, good, um, I want you to blink really fast, okay, that was not good, um,
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I want, I want you to, I want, I want you to, um, I want, I want you to follow my finger
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for a moment, okay, terrible performance, I'm gonna definitely have to fill out the
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survey after this, cause your answers are pretty terrible, and I'm worried about how
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it's gonna affect the quality of the meal, so, if you, um, if you could, do you, did
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they, they tested your blood, yeah, and did they go, mmm, or did they go, eh, okay, well,
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I'm gonna try to believe you, but I feel like, I feel like you're just saying that cause
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you don't want me to eat you, Twinkie, Twinkie eating, not so much eating, more of the Twinkie,
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okay, um, so, the, the next part, the next part is I'm gonna be Twink, Twinkie on you,
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okay, so, um, I'm, I'm, I'm personally, I, I personally prefer the on, but, they said
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I have to do the neck, so I'm gonna be Twinkie out of the neck, okay, okay, um, so, just
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be very, um, normal, and you can, you can scream if you want, that's okay, it sort of
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makes you groove, vibrate, from the force of the screaming, and, it puts little bubbles
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in the blood, when it comes out, and it, nummy, so, nummy nummy in my tummy, okay, okay, uh,
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prepare to be, um, to, to perish, okay, okay, um, here I go, here I go,
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that was pretty, pretty good blood, so, um, well, um, thanks for all your hard work, making
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the good blood, okay, okay, I'm gonna go to the other side now, okay, I'll just sit
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right there while I just go, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
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okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you have very nice blood,
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um are you are you a vegan okay that that's probably why it tastes better
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something about the food that you eat makes you um was so better to drink and
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be killed and stuff but anyway um I think you should know that it's well these
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days to come across but that is so very um so very above average I would not say
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the best word I've ever had but um it is probably around a similar feeling as
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Ikea meatballs it's like it's okay for when you finish your shopping I wouldn't
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go out of my way to get them but this place is kind of the Ikea of blood
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drinking so does that I mean just look at the decor it's very very blood
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drink any I mean Ikea blood twinkie anyway time for more blood
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drinking are you are you feeling faint okay I I don't know if you figured it
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out but I don't care about that so just okay
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it always makes me so sleepy so very very sleepy
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do you feel that's a lot of bearish drinking blood always makes me so
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sleepy so sleepy the sleepiest never meet me when I'm sleepy me me when I'm
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what module wings we be we be me when I'm me when I'm you when I'm me when I'm
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what you know just a little it's you I tell that spot okay and we drink
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did you know that my name is wet it is wet like a mouse but a wet it's so
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it's wet so my name is wet and your name is right name is wet um have you
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considered um being with that because I paid for a lot of time and you are not
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doing that time you're dying pretty faster than I thought okay with you
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faster than I thought I need you to die a little slower okay can you do that can
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you die just a little bit slower okay thank you I'm glad that you can be so
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reasonable so very very reasonable okay so here's some reasonable what we can
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okay move your head a little bit
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okay um it seems like you are reading we're reading you're you're so you're
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you know you're not very aggressive you're very um you're reading a lot
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you're very submissive and readable you know so um anyway um I can taste the
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death the death in your blood so I am gonna have to move on to the end of
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end of drinking survey and and then as you fade into the darkness of death I'm
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going to be we are showing you okay you are going to be okay as you um fade into
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the unknown okay okay so I mean okay survey is for me not you but I'm gonna
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read it out loud so that you can um appreciate it okay um number one on the scale of one to
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five um how much did you enjoy your experience at blood twinkles incorporated
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I would I'll give it about a three because you died you know you reached the
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brink of death faster than I thought and then um I think you could also probably have
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even more more me and your wife because I would be good for my iron levels okay
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on a scale of one to five how how much would I recommend what the twinklers
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incorporated to a friend I don't have any friends cuz I hate them all and you
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want to drink drink them all but I mean I had a widow nipple a couple of times
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but I can't be irresponsible but if I did have a friend I would probably
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recommend how satisfied do I feel with my match on my preferences I would say I
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could taste the gummy and the legs a lot I could tell you played a lot of video
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game oh I just sat around a lot sat around a lot this is so s-a-t-i-w-o-n-t-a-w-a-t
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sat around a lot okay um and on the scale of one to five how close to um how
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close was the portion size to what you requested um well it was less blood than
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I thought I think blood bag should have been given more food before um
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appointment um and then it asks me to um give a reading on you and I would say
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you were um very very squeak squeak you screamed a lot um but that's easy to
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ignore because I don't care um other than that you were very um very cute and
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um very sort of very um your eyes were pretty mm-hmm very pretty eyes and I like
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your nose especially especially yeah three and a half stars okay okay I can
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tell that you are fading into I will be giving you some reassurance to make the
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last moments of your life Billy um really put everything is going to be
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okay everything is gonna work out in your next life and everything is going to
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work out in your in your next death mm-hmm um if I could I would also kill
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you the next time you just seem like you'd be good to kill twice um maybe if
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you had more steaks and hamburgers then you would have tasted a little better
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and so um when you get reincarnated I will try to wake you up and see if you
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can um do it again but but better I feel like I feel like you did a pretty bad
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job of um being a blood bag so that is a personal preference over mine so um I
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will everything's gonna be okay it's all gonna be okay next time before I kill
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you again and you have sort of sort of you are very forget my train of thought
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yeah I always get a little bit kooky after after what drinking makes me it
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makes me very silly which is not my usual sort of um persona but um just sweep sweep just
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gonna sweep so sweepy I think you're going to fall asleep faster than you
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know I think you're going to dream a good dream well you you'll probably be
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in reincarnated pretty fast because your soul will be um full of unrest and it
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wants to come back to find your killer but you will never find me because you
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won't remember me that's what the souls always forget if they stayed a ghost
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they could haunt and maybe get some answers I will give you the answers
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right now the answers are you got kidnapped by what doing goes
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incorporated but you are very very good at video game you have high school or
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something I don't really know how they work but you did very good at the put
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button pushing stuff and you were very good at that unfortunately you had your
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headphones on when they kidnapped you so you did not see it coming so that's
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the other thing about video game I think you could have drink was energy drink I
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feel a little bit of it in my in myself now which means you must have doing so
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many monster drink or something which is ironically my least favorite drink is
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the monster kind is a sort of a cliche to drink that they serve a lot at the
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monster school but anyway um you are going to be very very not a ghost
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because there's your answers is that you're good at video game but it was
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your downfall um I kind of got to taste the gummy legs what which was good and
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um you probably should play West video game next time you are not gonna be
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ghost you're gonna be um reincarnated probably into a baby but probably also
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maybe like a bug if you turn into a bug I promise I won't eat you cause bugs are
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gross but if you sort of want to play again and in the sense of play video
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game and get kidnapped by bloodwinkers incorporated um I will find you and I
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will make sure you eat more food and with energy drink and and with plants
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and more meat because that would be more tasty for me anyway good sleep and good
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night you go sweep now go sweep go sweep go sweep goodbye
18971
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