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1
00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:02,803
- [COW MOOS]
- Careful.
2
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,561
Watch your step. Keep your eyes closed.
3
00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:06,154
So I was looking at my paycheck,
4
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:09,900
and I noticed that under job title,
it just says "Kelly."
5
00:00:09,918 --> 00:00:11,993
I think I deserve a promotion
6
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:15,255
to really any title whatsoever.
7
00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:16,998
You're gonna freak
when you see what I made.
8
00:00:17,076 --> 00:00:19,184
Open your eyes.
9
00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,854
"Butter dudes churn here."
10
00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,689
Wow.
11
00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:26,266
I know, right? Thank you.
12
00:00:26,418 --> 00:00:28,435
This way, when the butter
museum guys get here,
13
00:00:28,587 --> 00:00:29,844
they'll know exactly where to go.
14
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,012
Y-yeah.
15
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,106
[CLEARS THROAT] Um, listen, Kelly.
16
00:00:33,259 --> 00:00:36,518
This weekend, I'm gonna have
to fly solo.
17
00:00:36,595 --> 00:00:38,871
Yeah, 'cause I have so much experience,
18
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:41,114
you know, closing deals like this.
19
00:00:41,191 --> 00:00:43,208
- You understand.
- Obviously.
20
00:00:43,285 --> 00:00:44,434
- Dumb field trip.
- No.
21
00:00:44,453 --> 00:00:45,786
Here, let me carry you back.
22
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,047
[GRUNTS] Okay. Oh.
23
00:00:48,123 --> 00:00:49,289
- Wouldn't want you to fall.
- Yeah.
24
00:00:49,314 --> 00:00:50,468
- I got you.
- Thank you.
25
00:00:50,493 --> 00:00:51,537
- It's hard to walk in the...
- I know.
26
00:00:51,562 --> 00:00:52,987
- Grass in these things.
- Yeah.
27
00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,104
- Oh.
- No, no! Ow!
28
00:00:54,129 --> 00:00:55,796
[BLEEP].
29
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,038
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
30
00:00:57,058 --> 00:01:00,375
All younger, better-looking people
in the front, please.
31
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,969
Under-eye cream is not a time machine.
32
00:01:03,122 --> 00:01:04,471
Oh, my God, are you kidding?
33
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,124
Okay, so we've got 24 hours
to get the butter guys
34
00:01:07,142 --> 00:01:09,309
to pick Flatch for their museum.
35
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,107
And I can't leave anything up to chance,
36
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:13,221
so I am taking care
of everything myself.
37
00:01:13,299 --> 00:01:15,056
I've got my buttery outfit,
38
00:01:15,134 --> 00:01:18,164
packed itinerary,
even moved up the Blessing of the Cows
39
00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:19,797
so I could showcase our dairy supply.
40
00:01:19,822 --> 00:01:21,229
[LAUGHS]
41
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:23,178
Oh, they're gonna put
a damn butter bust of me up
42
00:01:23,203 --> 00:01:24,808
in their museum when I'm done with them.
43
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,356
Eagle eyes, Kelly.
44
00:01:26,381 --> 00:01:28,289
I need to know the second
you hear anything
45
00:01:28,314 --> 00:01:29,996
or see anything. Over.
46
00:01:30,149 --> 00:01:32,574
Aye, aye, Barb. On it. Over.
47
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,347
I was a little bummed when I
was sidelined from the project.
48
00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:36,463
It did hurt, you know?
49
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,840
But then I realized something.
I know Barb really well.
50
00:01:39,916 --> 00:01:41,100
She's testing me.
51
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,844
So I headed to the one place
we go for tests:
52
00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:44,972
the library.
53
00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,346
I found a book,
54
00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:49,274
"The Art of War in the Workplace."
55
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:52,427
Now, this guy, he said
never ask for a promotion.
56
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,670
That's rude.
57
00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:55,794
You have to swoop in and prove yourself
58
00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:57,318
when your boss needs you the most.
59
00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:59,192
He also taught me
a couple other cool things.
60
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:03,622
"Try cutting down
"to three cocktails at lunch,
61
00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:06,542
and be kind to the steno pool."
62
00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,369
Duh.
63
00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:11,460
Hey, Barb, is there anything
I could do to help?
64
00:02:11,485 --> 00:02:13,167
- Thank you.
- You know, maybe lead a prayer
65
00:02:13,192 --> 00:02:15,334
- or...
- Nope, everything's good.
66
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:17,020
Here. Put this on.
67
00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:19,787
- Come on.
- Butter!
68
00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:21,807
[LAUGHS] Butter!
69
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,626
Probably shouldn't wear this
to the Blessing of the Cows.
70
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,219
- Why?
- Seems disrespectful
71
00:02:26,296 --> 00:02:29,055
to the cows... and kinda me.
72
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,982
No. Looks great.
73
00:02:31,007 --> 00:02:33,687
And I already have Mandy
handling the cows, so...
74
00:02:33,712 --> 00:02:36,897
What? She doesn't have
any religious powers.
75
00:02:37,049 --> 00:02:40,826
Yeah, uh, I'm guessin'
the cows won't notice that.
76
00:02:40,936 --> 00:02:43,239
Okay, people. [CLAPPING]
Let's get it together.
77
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,821
They're almost here.
78
00:02:44,846 --> 00:02:47,856
Seems like nobody needs me
around here anymore.
79
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,245
Does this hat
at least make me look cool?
80
00:02:52,322 --> 00:02:54,414
- Barb! [PANTING]
- Oh!
81
00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:56,369
Batteries died. They're here.
82
00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:57,802
- Oh, my God.
- I need water.
83
00:02:57,827 --> 00:02:59,160
- Okay, okay.
- Go, go.
84
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,847
Places, everybody! [CLAPPING] Places!
85
00:03:01,872 --> 00:03:03,050
[NOTE PLAYS]
86
00:03:03,075 --> 00:03:05,166
Five, six, seven, eight.
87
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:06,363
? Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ?
88
00:03:06,388 --> 00:03:08,193
? Why don't you build in Flatch ?
89
00:03:08,218 --> 00:03:10,476
- ? Build in Flatch ?
- ? Butter guys, baby ?
90
00:03:10,501 --> 00:03:12,609
- ? We're the only town ?
- ? Only town ?
91
00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:15,280
- ? To churn it around ?
- ? We got dairy dreams ?
92
00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:16,488
? Dairy dreams ?
93
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:19,134
? Build a museum full of butter art ?
94
00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:20,325
? Butter art ?
95
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:21,712
? And that's just the start ?
96
00:03:21,737 --> 00:03:23,646
- ? We need you ?
- ? We need you ?
97
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,779
? More than anyone, baby ?
98
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:29,616
? We're melting for you, that's no lie ?
99
00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:31,601
- ? So build in Flatch ?
- ? Build in Flatch ?
100
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,287
? Butter guys, don't make us cry ?
101
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:37,365
? Don't make us cry ?
102
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:38,700
[HORN HONKS]
103
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,553
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
104
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:44,614
- Welcome to Flatch!
- Welcome to Flatch!
105
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:48,042
Welcome to the best Airbnb in Flatch.
106
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,953
So here are your itineraries.
107
00:03:49,955 --> 00:03:52,898
First thing up for tomorrow
is gonna be the Blessing of the Cows,
108
00:03:52,975 --> 00:03:55,125
followed by lunch at Harvey's Tavern.
109
00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:57,069
- Now, in the fridge...
- Oh, jeez!
110
00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:59,145
- [CHICKEN CLUCKING]
- Oh, get back here!
111
00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:01,222
Oh, hi. Um, sorry.
112
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,236
I'm Cheryl. This is Emily.
113
00:04:03,261 --> 00:04:05,203
We live in the back room,
where we will stay.
114
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,797
[WHISPERING] Barb said I could stay
115
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:09,806
while the butter guys are here
as long as we are silent
116
00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:11,658
and stay in our room.
117
00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:14,920
It's fine.
I'm only going slightly stir-crazy.
118
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,255
Shh. Shh.
119
00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:19,907
Well, she is very cute.
120
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,152
Good to meet you, Emily.
121
00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,653
And nice to meet you too, Cheryl.
122
00:04:23,655 --> 00:04:26,914
Oh, um, well, you have
excellent taste in chickens.
123
00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:28,934
Okay. Thanks, great.
124
00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:30,918
Back to the coop. [AWKWARD LAUGHTER]
125
00:04:30,943 --> 00:04:32,099
- We're going.
- Okay.
126
00:04:32,124 --> 00:04:33,640
- Bye-bye.
- Okay.
127
00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:36,269
The E stands for "enough," right?
128
00:04:36,294 --> 00:04:37,902
E means "empty."
129
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:40,197
Yeah, duh. I was... it was a joke.
130
00:04:40,222 --> 00:04:41,404
Maybe I should come with you.
131
00:04:41,429 --> 00:04:42,867
No, no, no, no, no, no.
132
00:04:42,892 --> 00:04:43,908
Thank you, though.
133
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,810
My alter ego, Daniel Stewart,
134
00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:47,881
has been taking acting classes
from my dad.
135
00:04:47,906 --> 00:04:50,481
But unfortunately
they're ending very soon,
136
00:04:50,559 --> 00:04:52,787
and since I just got
my license, I thought,
137
00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:54,796
hey, might as well drive down
to Louisville
138
00:04:54,821 --> 00:04:56,897
and tell him the truth in person,
139
00:04:56,899 --> 00:05:00,734
because if you can't break up
with someone over text,
140
00:05:00,736 --> 00:05:02,660
you definitely can't tell someone
141
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,179
you're secretly their son over Zoom
142
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,676
during a group acting class.
143
00:05:05,701 --> 00:05:08,218
It's just... it's common decency.
144
00:05:08,243 --> 00:05:11,898
Oh!
Big boy with a license. You joyridin'?
145
00:05:11,923 --> 00:05:14,558
Actually, Kel, I'm, uh...
I'm going to Louisville
146
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:17,609
to meet my dad, tell him
I'm his son, so yeah.
147
00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:19,844
You got this.
148
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:22,605
Thanks, Kel, and you got this, dude.
149
00:05:22,682 --> 00:05:24,325
Bring home the butter, baby.
150
00:05:24,350 --> 00:05:25,425
I'm gonna try.
151
00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:26,694
- [ENGINE TURNING OVER]
- Wish me luck.
152
00:05:26,853 --> 00:05:28,078
- Okay.
- Whoa!
153
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:29,262
Parking brake's still on.
154
00:05:29,431 --> 00:05:33,191
I don't know what that is,
but all right.
155
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,692
We're sure he passed?
156
00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:36,937
- 'Cause he... no, no!
- Oh, no.
157
00:05:36,955 --> 00:05:38,696
Should be an interesting drive.
158
00:05:38,774 --> 00:05:40,415
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- Ay.
159
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:41,608
- Jobo.
- Yeah?
160
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:43,109
I've been reading. Ready?
161
00:05:43,128 --> 00:05:47,222
"Most business deals are closed
in one of two places:
162
00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:49,540
strip clubs or the links."
163
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,889
See where I'm headed?
164
00:05:50,914 --> 00:05:53,764
No, I need much more context.
165
00:05:53,789 --> 00:05:54,971
Okay, so I'm trying to help close a deal
166
00:05:54,996 --> 00:05:56,433
with the butter guys, right?
167
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:59,217
And Flatch doesn't have
a strip club, which sucks,
168
00:05:59,242 --> 00:06:00,431
but we have golf.
169
00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:01,772
But I don't really know how to golf,
170
00:06:01,797 --> 00:06:04,647
so I need you to take me and
the butter bros golfing tomorrow.
171
00:06:04,742 --> 00:06:06,742
Did you just say that you need me?
172
00:06:06,818 --> 00:06:10,487
Not with that desperate look
in my eye, but yeah.
173
00:06:10,639 --> 00:06:13,695
I'm gonna go shine my balls.
174
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,875
Whoo.
175
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,925
Whatever it takes.
176
00:06:18,163 --> 00:06:19,829
So as soon as I get to my dad's house,
177
00:06:19,906 --> 00:06:21,648
he's literally pulling out the driveway
178
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:24,501
and starts driving away,
so I follow him here,
179
00:06:24,503 --> 00:06:27,804
but I can't find him, so...
180
00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:32,267
Oh.
181
00:06:32,344 --> 00:06:33,785
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
182
00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,270
Mr. Stewart.
183
00:06:35,421 --> 00:06:38,774
Oh, hey, Lloyd. The heck?
184
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:41,668
I did not know you were
a friend of Bill's.
185
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,262
Uh, great friends.
186
00:06:44,281 --> 00:06:47,674
All right, let's get started.
187
00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:51,119
My name is Angie, and I'm an alcoholic.
188
00:06:51,271 --> 00:06:53,363
GROUP: Hi, Angie.
189
00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:54,605
Hi, Angie.
190
00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:55,878
I don't know who Bill is,
191
00:06:55,903 --> 00:06:58,817
but I'm pretty sure he and everyone here
192
00:06:58,842 --> 00:07:01,101
is an alcoholic.
193
00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:08,528
Picked up the butter bros around sunrise
for a round of golf.
194
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:09,620
They were into it.
195
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,365
That book knows everything.
196
00:07:12,384 --> 00:07:14,884
Mmm, enjoying that jerky?
197
00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:16,719
Isn't this great?
198
00:07:16,872 --> 00:07:18,717
Almost like I thought of everything.
199
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,851
- Mm-hmm.
- This is what you could expect
200
00:07:20,876 --> 00:07:22,633
from Flatch.
201
00:07:22,653 --> 00:07:25,045
Whoa! Got ahold of that one.
202
00:07:25,047 --> 00:07:26,842
I didn't know we were playin'
with a pro.
203
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:27,949
[LAUGHTER]
204
00:07:27,974 --> 00:07:29,382
Right? Right?
205
00:07:29,384 --> 00:07:30,641
- Real quick.
- Did you see that shot?
206
00:07:30,719 --> 00:07:31,885
[WHISPERING] Yeah, what are you doing?
207
00:07:31,978 --> 00:07:33,995
- What do you mean?
- We need to let them win.
208
00:07:34,072 --> 00:07:35,664
We're trying to close a deal.
209
00:07:35,815 --> 00:07:37,390
Oh, got it.
210
00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:39,104
Hey, guys, that one was out-of-bounds.
211
00:07:39,129 --> 00:07:40,220
I'm gonna hit another one.
212
00:07:40,245 --> 00:07:41,561
- Oh, go ahead.
- Hey, have at it.
213
00:07:41,563 --> 00:07:42,653
You got it!
214
00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:44,759
- Do-over. [LAUGHS]
- Do-over.
215
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:46,376
You're hilarious.
216
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:47,533
Aah!
217
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,419
Boy, do I suck!
218
00:07:49,444 --> 00:07:50,460
Just scratch that one, huh?
219
00:07:50,485 --> 00:07:51,565
Scratch.
220
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:52,982
[LAUGHING] Whoa.
221
00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:54,999
[GRUNTING]
222
00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:57,335
Come on, Joe!
223
00:07:57,354 --> 00:07:58,411
- Oh!
- Oh.
224
00:07:58,430 --> 00:07:59,913
No!
225
00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:01,247
Come on!
226
00:08:01,249 --> 00:08:03,358
I'm not that into touching cows.
227
00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:04,860
I'm a dog person.
228
00:08:05,011 --> 00:08:07,420
But that doesn't mean I can't bless 'em.
229
00:08:07,513 --> 00:08:09,513
Bless. [LAUGHS]
230
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:12,609
[GOATS BLEATING, DOG BARKING]
231
00:08:12,685 --> 00:08:16,429
What the fresh hell?
232
00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:18,448
I thought I was only handling cows.
233
00:08:18,524 --> 00:08:19,857
It started out as just cows,
234
00:08:19,877 --> 00:08:22,435
but June filed
an animal discrimination suit,
235
00:08:22,454 --> 00:08:24,546
so since then,
it's been much more inclusive.
236
00:08:24,697 --> 00:08:28,274
I'm sorry, but do you want me
to bless a dead-ass bird?
237
00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:31,553
I think Polly's in purgatory, so...
238
00:08:31,704 --> 00:08:33,545
[SIGHS] Fine, whatever. I got plans.
239
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:35,092
Just... bless.
240
00:08:35,117 --> 00:08:37,058
- Thank you.
- Take it. God.
241
00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:38,776
Can you bless this?
242
00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:39,818
What is it?
243
00:08:39,843 --> 00:08:42,898
It doesn't matter what it is,
but it really needs to be blessed.
244
00:08:42,974 --> 00:08:44,566
Trust me.
245
00:08:44,643 --> 00:08:45,883
What the... hey, man!
246
00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:48,894
[BLEEP]. Why you got that in your house?
247
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,919
Man, what's wrong with you?
Here, go. Bless.
248
00:08:50,944 --> 00:08:52,110
Get the hell outta here.
249
00:08:52,135 --> 00:08:54,869
Bless, just bless. My God.
250
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:56,578
[CLEARS THROAT]
251
00:08:57,897 --> 00:08:59,563
[GASPS] Hell's bells, Cheryl.
252
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:01,303
Put on some damn pants.
253
00:09:01,328 --> 00:09:03,660
What are you doin'?
Those butter boys are gonna be up soon.
254
00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:05,311
Oh.
255
00:09:05,330 --> 00:09:06,421
They're up.
256
00:09:06,572 --> 00:09:08,171
They are? Where?
257
00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:11,937
I don't know, but, uh,
I do know where Geoffrey was last night.
258
00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:14,912
Okay, I'm dying to tell someone,
259
00:09:14,937 --> 00:09:16,928
and Mandy's not picking up her phone.
260
00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:19,136
But, um...
261
00:09:19,161 --> 00:09:20,918
- I boned Geoffrey.
- What?
262
00:09:20,938 --> 00:09:22,938
I mean, we were both drawn outside
263
00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:25,807
by the seductive hoots
of the horned owl,
264
00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:28,518
and then we bumped into each other,
265
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:31,029
and then we bumped
into each other again.
266
00:09:31,869 --> 00:09:33,109
And again.
267
00:09:33,134 --> 00:09:35,576
I can't believe I just went
for it, you know?
268
00:09:35,601 --> 00:09:38,155
It feels like
a whole new chapter for me.
269
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:40,014
Well, I hope you
and your horny owl are happy,
270
00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:41,556
because you just jeopardized
271
00:09:41,633 --> 00:09:43,466
everything I've been
working my ass off for.
272
00:09:43,618 --> 00:09:44,968
God!
273
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,469
Ugh!
274
00:09:46,621 --> 00:09:49,456
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- She needs to get laid.
275
00:09:49,474 --> 00:09:53,050
And while ten years and 52 days
may not get you a chip,
276
00:09:53,128 --> 00:09:54,760
I'm happier than I've ever been.
277
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,572
I have a business that I love,
great friends.
278
00:09:57,724 --> 00:10:01,076
Who knows what's next? Maybe a family.
279
00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:04,246
[APPLAUSE]
280
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,359
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Okay.
281
00:10:05,384 --> 00:10:06,474
That was awesome.
282
00:10:06,499 --> 00:10:10,335
Is there anyone here for the first time
who would like to speak?
283
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,206
Uh...
284
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:17,175
sure, okay.
285
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:20,637
[CLEARS THROAT]
286
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:24,507
Hello there. [CLEARS THROAT]
287
00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:26,851
Hi, my name is...
288
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:32,089
Bathroom, I need
to use the bathroom, actually.
289
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,424
[LAUGHS]
290
00:10:33,443 --> 00:10:34,851
Oops.
291
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,778
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN]
292
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:42,826
God, it's really nice
gettin' away from the wife and kids.
293
00:10:46,957 --> 00:10:47,989
Oh!
294
00:10:48,066 --> 00:10:50,016
God, you guys are crushing us.
295
00:10:50,035 --> 00:10:51,609
- Yeah.
- So good at golf.
296
00:10:51,703 --> 00:10:54,020
Yeah. We're so, so bad.
297
00:10:54,039 --> 00:10:55,688
So, uh, what can you tell me
298
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,615
about the cute gal
with all the chickens?
299
00:10:57,692 --> 00:11:00,326
- You mean Cheryl?
- Yeah, Cheryl.
300
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,637
Let's just say we didn't get
much sleep last night.
301
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:04,806
Let's not say it.
302
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,533
- Excuse me.
- Huh?
303
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:07,809
Oh.
304
00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,145
It's in.
305
00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:12,388
Birdie! Next hole, suckers!
306
00:11:12,413 --> 00:11:13,517
Whoo!
307
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:14,983
That's the pastor, right?
308
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:17,301
- That's the pastor.
- Oh, okay.
309
00:11:18,213 --> 00:11:21,990
All right, blessed,
blessed, blessed, blessed.
310
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,194
You going to hell.
[LAUGHS] Just kidding.
311
00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:25,385
All right, blessed.
312
00:11:25,403 --> 00:11:26,903
- Hey.
- Blessed.
313
00:11:27,055 --> 00:11:29,980
Um, have you seen Stan and Geoffrey?
314
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,724
Not the human versions, no.
315
00:11:31,743 --> 00:11:34,243
Well, I can't find them,
and I am not panicking
316
00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:36,648
in any way, but I have lost
my clients, okay?
317
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:38,656
And they can't miss seeing this.
318
00:11:38,675 --> 00:11:41,009
So I need you to buy me some more time
319
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,570
and bless slowly.
320
00:11:43,588 --> 00:11:45,088
It's gonna be great. Have fun.
321
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,739
[SIGHS]
322
00:11:46,741 --> 00:11:48,808
Things I do for this town.
323
00:11:50,354 --> 00:11:52,745
So that's five holes I've won now.
324
00:11:52,747 --> 00:11:55,582
How does that feel, Geoffrey?
325
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,675
- Fine?
- [WHISPERING] Stop it.
326
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,205
Do you know how much is riding on this?
327
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:00,787
[WHISPERING] I know how much
is riding on Cheryl.
328
00:12:00,812 --> 00:12:03,256
- 170 pounds of dork.
- Get it together, okay?
329
00:12:03,274 --> 00:12:05,452
You're embarrassing me and you,
and we're not even...
330
00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:08,162
Look out! [ALL SCREAM]
331
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,904
[ALL GROANING]
332
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,419
- Okay! [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, boy.
333
00:12:11,444 --> 00:12:13,018
Whoo.
334
00:12:13,043 --> 00:12:14,358
Extreme sports!
335
00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:16,357
Oh, my hip. [GROANS]
336
00:12:16,382 --> 00:12:17,615
- You all right?
- No.
337
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,608
You got this, Shrub.
338
00:12:21,626 --> 00:12:25,111
All of your acting training
has led to this.
339
00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:27,705
But I'm not ready.
[EXHALES] Yes, you are.
340
00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:29,644
Don't say that. Don't say that.
341
00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:32,262
Okay, well, what if I mess
up? You're not gonna mess up.
342
00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:33,620
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN]
343
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,379
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
344
00:12:35,399 --> 00:12:36,623
'Sup, everyone?
345
00:12:36,641 --> 00:12:39,292
My name is Daniel, and I'm an alcoholic.
346
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,551
GROUP: Hi, Daniel.
347
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,219
You guys wanna hear my story?
348
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:45,698
Well, strap in,
'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
349
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:47,548
Kindergarten was tough.
350
00:12:47,573 --> 00:12:49,815
I would do shots in the morning
just to get out of bed.
351
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,431
I don't need any of you.
352
00:12:51,456 --> 00:12:52,563
[PEOPLE GASP]
353
00:12:52,657 --> 00:12:53,806
I got the bottle.
354
00:12:53,825 --> 00:12:57,735
[WITH DEMONIC VOICE] Go away,
and never come back!
355
00:12:57,812 --> 00:13:00,404
[NORMALLY] My life was coming unraveled.
356
00:13:00,424 --> 00:13:01,998
[BODY THUDS] Spock!
357
00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:04,575
Spock! Spock!
358
00:13:04,594 --> 00:13:05,743
[BLOWING SQUEAKILY]
359
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:07,411
Come on, you son of a bitch.
360
00:13:07,436 --> 00:13:09,983
Come on, you son of a bitch.
Live, damn it!
361
00:13:10,008 --> 00:13:12,341
And so I looked at myself in the mirror,
362
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,896
and I said, "Shrub Mallet,
363
00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:19,734
that is the last drop
of alcohol you ever have!"
364
00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:22,293
And scene. [LAUGHS]
365
00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,428
Did you say Shrub Mallet?
366
00:13:24,506 --> 00:13:27,023
Um...
367
00:13:27,175 --> 00:13:28,992
I am your son.
368
00:13:31,362 --> 00:13:33,371
It's me, Dad.
369
00:13:36,034 --> 00:13:37,867
Got the whole town here but...
370
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,826
no idea where the butter guys are.
371
00:13:39,851 --> 00:13:41,923
Believe me, I have looked everywhere.
372
00:13:41,948 --> 00:13:43,631
Trust the itinerary.
373
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:45,024
Everything's gonna be fine.
374
00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:47,135
- It's gonna be great.
- Uh-oh, uh-oh.
375
00:13:47,212 --> 00:13:48,544
- Look who's here.
- Never had a doubt.
376
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,546
- Never had a doubt. Hi, guys!
- Hey.
377
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:53,754
Um, see you got a little sidetracked.
378
00:13:53,779 --> 00:13:55,037
Oh, well, we were playing winter golf.
379
00:13:55,062 --> 00:13:56,703
- Sounds so fun.
- It was.
380
00:13:56,721 --> 00:13:58,295
[CLEARS THROAT] Would you
excuse us for a second?
381
00:13:58,373 --> 00:14:00,148
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
- Okay, come here.
382
00:14:02,377 --> 00:14:05,084
- What are you doing?
- I was just trying to help.
383
00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:06,291
I don't need your help.
384
00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:07,487
I told you I don't need your help.
385
00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,254
I don't want your help
or anybody else's,
386
00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:10,850
and nobody seems to get that
through their head.
387
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,441
I do not need your help.
388
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:16,635
Sorry, I was the one who got
Stan interested in Flatch.
389
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:17,768
Do you remember that?
390
00:14:17,793 --> 00:14:20,122
You've just been, like, steamrolling me
the whole time they're here.
391
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:21,957
Like, you made it sound like
we're a team,
392
00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:23,818
but I don't even have a job title.
393
00:14:23,843 --> 00:14:25,977
I'm just Kelly.
I'll just do whatever you want.
394
00:14:26,071 --> 00:14:27,979
Like, I know that Bert
didn't treat you fair
395
00:14:28,132 --> 00:14:29,648
when you worked together,
396
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,484
but now I feel like the Barb
at this company,
397
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,635
which makes you Bert.
398
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:37,063
- Kelly, I'm...
- No, you're Berting me.
399
00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:38,974
You're Berting me really bad.
400
00:14:38,976 --> 00:14:40,584
- Kelly.
- Don't.
401
00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:44,980
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
402
00:14:44,982 --> 00:14:48,166
? ?
403
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:51,577
So you started taking
my class with a fake name...
404
00:14:51,597 --> 00:14:53,413
Have not paid for that class yet.
405
00:14:53,432 --> 00:14:55,824
Well, I sent a message
to the Venmo help center.
406
00:14:55,842 --> 00:14:56,992
- It's out of my hands.
- Okay.
407
00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:58,303
I don't know what you want here, man.
408
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,230
I mean, I-I feel pretty duped.
409
00:15:00,255 --> 00:15:01,830
Well, I don't know what I want either.
410
00:15:01,832 --> 00:15:03,941
I just thought that maybe
you were looking for me
411
00:15:04,092 --> 00:15:06,518
or that you might wanna, like,
412
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:09,020
know me, but...
413
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:11,490
you don't, so whatever.
414
00:15:13,619 --> 00:15:15,118
Shrub.
415
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:17,679
Your mom and I were very young,
416
00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:19,939
and we weren't plannin' to get pregnant.
417
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:23,685
And she didn't want me
to have a role in raising you.
418
00:15:24,463 --> 00:15:27,297
Anyway, I-I got, uh, a little
out of control personally,
419
00:15:27,449 --> 00:15:31,969
and by the time I got myself
together, I just...
420
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,695
figured you wouldn't wanna meet me.
421
00:15:33,697 --> 00:15:35,697
Well, I do.
422
00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:37,790
Or did.
423
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,834
I'll get out of your hair.
424
00:15:39,886 --> 00:15:41,886
Nice knowin' ya.
425
00:15:42,039 --> 00:15:43,438
Shrub, wait.
426
00:15:45,484 --> 00:15:47,007
Yeah, Dad?
427
00:15:48,136 --> 00:15:49,569
You can't drive on that.
428
00:15:51,048 --> 00:15:52,547
Since when?
429
00:15:52,566 --> 00:15:54,157
Since forever.
430
00:15:54,309 --> 00:15:56,660
Do you have any idea
how to change a tire?
431
00:15:56,737 --> 00:15:58,478
I do not.
432
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,247
No, me neither.
433
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:06,152
But much like in acting,
you cannot be afraid to fail!
434
00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:09,064
- [LAUGHS]
- Dude, that was awesome.
435
00:16:09,066 --> 00:16:10,262
- I knew it.
- Oh, you're gonna get
436
00:16:10,287 --> 00:16:11,877
- a Grammy for that.
- [LAUGHS]
437
00:16:11,902 --> 00:16:13,096
Hold it. No, no. Oh, oh.
438
00:16:13,121 --> 00:16:14,471
- Three, two.
- Oh!
439
00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:17,330
? People, let me tell you
'bout my best friend ?
440
00:16:17,407 --> 00:16:18,907
? He's a warmhearted person ?
441
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,408
[SCREAMS]
442
00:16:20,427 --> 00:16:21,667
[GROANING]
443
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:23,353
You little bitch!
444
00:16:23,355 --> 00:16:24,412
Get off!
445
00:16:24,437 --> 00:16:26,333
- Oh! Oh!
- Yes!
446
00:16:26,358 --> 00:16:27,582
Whoo!
447
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,918
? My up, my down, my pride and joy ?
448
00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:31,419
- Oh, oh!
- Oh!
449
00:16:31,513 --> 00:16:33,363
? Let me tell you 'bout him,
he's so much fun ?
450
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,924
? Yeah, he's my best friend ?
451
00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:39,094
? La-la, pa-da-da-da-yah ?
452
00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,245
? Pa-da-da-da ?
453
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,099
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
454
00:16:44,101 --> 00:16:47,360
Listen, I am so sorry about Kelly.
455
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:48,694
She's... she's very new.
456
00:16:48,714 --> 00:16:49,880
It's fine.
457
00:16:50,031 --> 00:16:51,790
We actually had a lot of fun at golf.
458
00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:53,216
- [LAUGHING] Yeah.
- Oh, really?
459
00:16:53,368 --> 00:16:55,052
And she showed us a site
near the course that might be
460
00:16:55,077 --> 00:16:56,565
the perfect location for the museum.
461
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,774
- We think so.
- [CHUCKLES] We love Flatch.
462
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:02,059
I mean, it's folksy,
right size, central.
463
00:17:02,084 --> 00:17:03,993
Uh, but one real concern.
464
00:17:04,018 --> 00:17:05,748
- Oh.
- Having the museum here
465
00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:07,639
would be pretty hard to find.
466
00:17:07,664 --> 00:17:10,383
Yeah, that exit came up awfully quick.
467
00:17:10,402 --> 00:17:11,467
Mm-hmm.
468
00:17:11,492 --> 00:17:14,905
Okay, well, how 'bout...
Crazy idea. Hear me out.
469
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,631
We could put a little sign out there
470
00:17:17,656 --> 00:17:21,871
that says, you know,
"Butter Sculpture Museum,
471
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,230
Churn Here."
472
00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:27,334
Wait a minute.
Did you just say "churn here"?
473
00:17:27,994 --> 00:17:30,587
I-I did.
474
00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:34,149
[LAUGHTER]
475
00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:36,668
"Churn." Oh, that is so clever.
476
00:17:36,693 --> 00:17:38,301
Did you come up with this?
477
00:17:38,505 --> 00:17:42,324
I... well...
478
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:43,416
no.
479
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:44,843
Kelly did.
480
00:17:44,868 --> 00:17:46,638
Yeah, I told you that girl gets it.
481
00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:48,754
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
482
00:17:48,774 --> 00:17:49,956
Listen, I just...
483
00:17:50,033 --> 00:17:51,166
I wanna apologize.
484
00:17:51,168 --> 00:17:54,760
Wait a minute. Are you Joe from A-Men?
485
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:56,113
Yes, I am.
486
00:17:56,264 --> 00:17:58,115
Geoffrey, we were golfing
with Joe from A-Men.
487
00:17:58,191 --> 00:18:00,342
I knew I knew you from somewhere.
488
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,785
- Well...
- You were hiding those tips!
489
00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,097
I was a big fan growing up.
490
00:18:03,122 --> 00:18:04,373
- Uh, let's just say...
- Oh, yeah?
491
00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:05,915
Yeah, you had a big influence
492
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:08,625
on the, uh, evolution of a young Stan.
493
00:18:08,702 --> 00:18:10,548
Oh, thank you.
494
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,331
And we had no idea there was a...
495
00:18:12,356 --> 00:18:14,131
A celebrity hiding here in Flatch.
496
00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:17,783
Amazing idea. What if Joe here
497
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:21,363
is the butter brand ambassador
for the museum?
498
00:18:21,365 --> 00:18:22,394
- Yes.
- Yeah.
499
00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:24,866
We do a commercial, a billboard.
500
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:25,884
I'm likin' this.
501
00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:28,794
Hmm. You need me.
502
00:18:28,872 --> 00:18:30,722
Okay. I'm in.
503
00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:32,315
I will be your butter face.
504
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,443
All right.
505
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:34,726
Well, then... [CLEARS THROAT]
506
00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:36,653
- Attention, everyone!
- Oh, hey.
507
00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:39,214
Attention! Listen up.
508
00:18:39,307 --> 00:18:42,659
I would like to announce
the future location
509
00:18:42,736 --> 00:18:45,829
of the Foster Family
Butter Bust Collection:
510
00:18:45,906 --> 00:18:47,967
right here in Flatch, Ohio!
511
00:18:47,992 --> 00:18:49,868
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- What? Oh, my God!
512
00:18:49,893 --> 00:18:51,817
We did it! We did it!
513
00:18:51,837 --> 00:18:54,087
Oh, my God!
514
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:59,342
I wish Kelly were here for this.
515
00:18:59,494 --> 00:19:01,303
She should be here for this.
516
00:19:15,027 --> 00:19:17,085
Barb.
517
00:19:17,103 --> 00:19:18,770
Cameras.
518
00:19:18,846 --> 00:19:20,530
What?
519
00:19:20,607 --> 00:19:22,199
Kelly, I messed up.
520
00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:25,851
I was so focused on...
521
00:19:25,871 --> 00:19:27,095
trying to prove that I could survive
522
00:19:27,097 --> 00:19:29,706
without that son of a bitch Bert
that I became him.
523
00:19:29,857 --> 00:19:32,934
I've had a really hard time
lettin' people in
524
00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:34,419
since the divorce.
525
00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:38,215
Not just men.
526
00:19:39,534 --> 00:19:41,218
Friends.
527
00:19:41,294 --> 00:19:43,202
You.
528
00:19:43,222 --> 00:19:45,305
And you're a really good friend.
529
00:19:47,117 --> 00:19:49,133
But you're an even better
business partner.
530
00:19:49,158 --> 00:19:50,278
[CHUCKLES]
531
00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:53,563
But I don't just wanna tell you that.
I...
532
00:19:53,715 --> 00:19:55,023
I wanna show you something.
533
00:19:59,129 --> 00:20:01,820
- What is it?
- Okay, open 'em.
534
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,818
Oh.
535
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:09,471
Holy [BLEEP]!
536
00:20:09,489 --> 00:20:10,909
I'm an associate!
537
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:13,566
There are so many people
that I'd like to thank here tonight.
538
00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:15,506
Barb, obviously.
539
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,456
Shrub, you're my best friend.
540
00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:20,999
Um, cameras, thank you for being here.
541
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,501
You're always here,
even when I don't even know.
542
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,889
Aah! There they are.
543
00:20:24,914 --> 00:20:29,749
And for anyone who ever said
I would never amount to anything,
544
00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:33,226
I'd like to invite you
to sit on my face.
545
00:20:33,251 --> 00:20:34,806
For now, let's don't do that
546
00:20:34,831 --> 00:20:36,664
just because I just
made this up overnight,
547
00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:38,108
so the ink's still wet.
548
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:40,069
I don't care.
Sit on my face and get wet.
549
00:20:40,094 --> 00:20:42,520
Um, no.
550
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:45,006
Go! [LAUGHTER]
551
00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:46,075
Whoo!
552
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,358
- [LAUGHTER]
- Oh, my God.
553
00:20:47,435 --> 00:20:49,511
With this promotion,
I finally have enough money
554
00:20:49,513 --> 00:20:51,604
to manifest my ultimate goal:
555
00:20:51,681 --> 00:20:53,790
I'm gonna float my boat.
556
00:20:53,815 --> 00:20:55,084
[STARSHIP'S "NOTHING'S GONNA
STOP US NOW" PLAYING]
557
00:20:55,109 --> 00:20:57,276
Dude, I am so proud of you.
558
00:20:57,296 --> 00:20:58,748
You're, like,
a real-life working person.
559
00:20:58,773 --> 00:21:00,181
- It's insane.
- Like six months ago,
560
00:21:00,206 --> 00:21:04,134
I didn't even have a boat,
and now we're on my boat.
561
00:21:04,285 --> 00:21:06,330
Makes me wonder, like,
what else I can accomplish.
562
00:21:06,355 --> 00:21:07,430
- Dude, right?
- My potential
563
00:21:07,455 --> 00:21:08,863
actually, like, scares me.
564
00:21:08,882 --> 00:21:11,561
Dude, same, 'cause six months ago,
I didn't even know my dad existed.
565
00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:14,565
And here I am, like, best friends
with my dad, changing tires.
566
00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:15,680
Insane.
567
00:21:15,705 --> 00:21:17,795
- I'm proud of you too.
- Cheers to that.
568
00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:19,200
You think we could do doughnuts
in this bad boy?
569
00:21:19,225 --> 00:21:21,571
- Only one way to find out.
- Mm!
570
00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,780
? We can build this dream together ?
571
00:21:23,805 --> 00:21:26,064
? Standing strong forever ?
572
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:28,825
? Nothing's gonna stop us now ?
573
00:21:28,902 --> 00:21:30,327
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
574
00:21:30,403 --> 00:21:32,737
? And if this world runs out of lovers ?
575
00:21:32,814 --> 00:21:34,389
- BOTH: Whoo!
- [LAUGHS]
576
00:21:34,391 --> 00:21:35,815
? We'll still have each other ?
577
00:21:35,834 --> 00:21:38,418
? Nothing's gonna stop us ?
578
00:21:38,468 --> 00:21:43,018
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