Original subtitles

All characters, dialogues, events, the crazy and fun stuff,

and their consequences in this film are a work of faction...

Err... I mean, fiction.

This story takes place in the Sin city of Zelangana

which is located in a country named Zindia.

To all the viewers who have come to watch this movie

with utmost excitement and anticipation,

thank you.

The movie will start immediately after this disclaimer.

Hush. Silence!

-What is this! -This is ridiculous!

I think the minister has lost his mind!

Is this really the parliament?

This is idiocy in the name of democracy.

You're wasting people's precious time and money

by allocating time to such retards!

-Don't show off in English! -You're a moron!

What nonsense is this?

Okay! Okay! Unparliamentary words in the parliament.

I've taken note of all the expletives thrown against me.

Stop it.

But unlike them, I will uphold the dignity...

Wake up, Lola! Uphold the dignity of the house...

I just want to say one thing. Before the formation of any reformation...

I will kill you!

Before the evolution of any revolution, the person who proposed it

was always shunned by the people!

Be it Aristotle, Socrates, Galileo or me.

But let me announce something. Had you waited, they'd have passed the bill.

Sorry, sir.

Even though I didn't pass my Class 10 exams,

I will make sure I pass the Gun Bill today!

FACE TO FACE INTERVIEW WITH RITHWIK SODHI

"A pen to write with, a gun to defend with,"

is the slogan coined by Defense Minister Rithwik Sodhi.

In a country where not everyone has access to drinking water,

Gun Amendment Bill has been proposed to give guns to every family.

So, how did you even get this idea?

Instead of asking how I got this idea, be ashamed for never getting this idea.

Alright, I'm ashamed. Now answer me.

-Mr. Somaraj... -My name is Nagaraj.

Mr. Raj, what would you do if thieves broke into your house?

I'd panic.

Sad! Ideally, thieves should panic before breaking into your house,

-and I'll make sure they do. -And how is that?

-What would you do after panicking? -I'll call the cops.

-Will thieves wait until the cops arrive? -No. They'll flee by then.

-What do cops do when thieves flee? -They chase them or shoot them with a gun.

What if you had that gun all along?

-Do you get my drift? -No, I don't.

Exactly! Nobody seems smart enough to get my drifts and skids.

So, you encourage keeping deadly weapons in our homes?

Mr. Prakash Raj... How do you chop vegetables?

-I don't, my wife does. -Patriarchy.

I'm not asking who chops vegetables at your house.

-I'm asking how you chop vegetables. -With a knife.

Isn't knife a deadly weapon too? You can chop vegetables with a knife

and also kill people with a knife. Will you ask for a ban on knives too?

If knives are as deadly, why not use only knives? Why guns?

With a knife, we can only stab the people nearby.

We can't shoot down fleeing thieves.

But if we go on providing guns to everyone--

We aren't providing guns to everyone, Mr. Dhanraj!

There are many sets of rules and regulations,

offers and obligations, references and recommendations.

-Can you name a few? -You know, like Aadhar Card,

we have Aayudh Card. Then we have Gun Seva,

Gun Bheema Program, Graduate Gun Scheme.

Also, we will provide free guns to those who pay income taxes.

People will pay taxes on time at least to get a free gun.

It's a win-win situation!

Don't you think people will start taking the law in their hands after this?

Law is not a paper straw for people to take in their hands, Mr. Dil Raj.

But people will take guns in their hands and kill each other.

-No, they won't. -How can you be so sure?

I have a gun on me right now. No, I don't, but imagine I do.

I'd shoot you if you are unarmed. But if you have a gun, I won't risk it.

I'll be wary. I'll be cautious.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But a gun for a gun kills none.

Why? You don't consider nuns as people?

I meant N-O-N-E, none! Not N-U-N, nun.

-So, what are your final remarks? -Mr. Katraj...

All you need is one idea to write and rewrite history.

This idea of mine has stoked fire within our party.

All our excited party workers are like, "Sir, this fire is so hot!"

I want to give every citizen this hotness!

As if the summer heat isn't enough, the minister wants to give us extra heat.

Anyway! All the best, sir.

I pray your stupid ideas don't lead to stupid consequences.

Thank you for your time. Oh! And it is your birthday today!

Hap--

The Gun Amendment Bill being proposed by Minister Rithwik Sodhi...

Has been passed by the government amidst great uproar in the house.

-Can we call this idea idiotic? -Yes, of course!

You get out of my studio!

Celebrities across the nation have responded to the Gun Bill.

You are just immature or ignorant!

You can't be surprised by the controversy...

It's none of your damn business what I think about that.

Get up, stand up for your rights!

-Hash tag "Sodhi Is A Donkey" is trending. -No, no! Sodhi and I are good friends.

Whatever he does, he does it for the nation's good.

I'm sure this Gun Bill will make our nation a peaceful one.

Gun Supply Contract has been allotted to Russia's Boris Nikolai.

The minister calls this a friendly gesture between the two nations.

Celebrations are at an all-time high.

You can see people dancing on the streets!

I don't understand why some people even live!

These people don't even have basic sense.

The government has announced that guns will be on sale from tomorrow.

Wow! Really?

You can see people waiting in long queues to buy guns.

WEAPONS SALE

You can see that the gun markets set up in every corner have become a huge success.

LESS DURABILITY HIGH PRICE

I don't know if we should be happy or sad...

A GUN FOR EVERY HOUSE

...about the kind of acceptance and encouragement this is getting.

We need to accept that the country is advancing.

-Advancing in the reverse direction? -A regressive guy like you would say so.

People seem to be in love with this new amendment.

There are discounts, deals and offers everywhere!

Everyone has a gun! Man, this is so much fun!

We owe our children a life free from violence and fear.

I'm so excited!

I only used to fire toy guns on Diwali. But now, I'll fire real guns.

Gold bullets for old people! Silver bullets for sexy people!

No bullets for naughty people!

Put this in my tab.

-Machine Guns for henna! -Check out this gun, sir!

-Pistols for parties! -Try this gun, sir!

-Rifles for receptions! -Please, try this gun..

You heard this? Free guns to those who have Aayudh Card!

Free guns, my foot! They aren't even letting us in.

This is what we get for escaping from prison?

-Got you! -Wait! Return my mic!

Ruckus in the gun market! Customers break into a brawl over discounts! Many hurt.

Back in the day, it was sing and dance! Nowadays, it is fire in trance!

Visit the gun market, buy one for your pocket.

FIRST CHAPTER HAPPY

You look just like me, boss! Our hairstyles are different though.

I agree. This is so surprising. You are just like me.

I hope we aren't twins like in those Telugu movies.

Hey! Everything is in place for your birthday party.

All you have to do is arrive in style!

Oh, no! You are making me blush!

HAPPY AISHA

What? Say that again?

If I said it once, it is like I said it a thousand times.

Trying to be a smart-ass, are you not?

Do re mi fa... Come on!

I don't know, ma'am.

Also, wear a dress that'd stun everyone!

THAT'S ALL, YOU SAY?

There is no looking back anymore!

I hope no one is suspecting me.

Shit! I'm busted!

No! Please, don't shoot me! Don't shoot me! No...

-Guys, what's the matter? -Pink Tie, please tell them.

Sir, he is not carrying any weapons!

Sir, you have to leave. We can't let you in.

Why not?

-It is clearly written in bold letters. -Where? Oh, here!

No gun, no entry.

-I don't need a gun. Just let me in. -Gun is for your safety.

Isn't our safety your job?

Your safety must be in your hands, not ours.

Throw him out!

Pink Tie, I hope you die!

You son of a...

Damn! What is this glow?

What a glow!

-Not allowed. -You think I don't have a gun?

-Beretta 92! Nice to meet you! -Not allowed!

Oh! You think I'm stag entry? Come on, babe!

-We are a couple! -Not allowed!

Stop saying the same thing like a broken record! What is your name?

I'll handle this, Batista. Tell me, sir? What's the problem?

He no entering! Mine in the inside.

Very eloquently put, sir. I'll solve this. Please come this side.

-Where do you want to go, sir? -I want to go inside, bro!

-Bro? -I'll handle this, babe.

Sir, this hotel comes with a lot of built-in facilities and amenities.

So could you be more specific, please?

FIT 2 FAT GYM - BANK OF ROBBERS - LICK A CHICK - POSH PUB

Stop pretending like you can read.

-Posh Pub! -Wow! Excellent choice, sir.

I know.

But I'm extremely sorry, sir, you're not allowed.

Is it because you think I'm under-aged? No! I've turned 18 today.

-Today is my happy birthday! -Very relevant information, sir,

-but it's only for posh people, sir. -You think I'm cheap?

-Absolutely, sir. -Check out my rings!

Hi, ma'am. Welcome! You're looking absolutely gorgeous. Have a great night.

Hey! You grilled me with questions but let her pass just like that?

Sir, because she is appropriately dressed, but you're not.

So, you'll let me in if I change my attire?

Quite certainly, sir.

Wait, darling! It is time for shopping.

Okay!

You can do it.

How shall I enter? "What's up, babes..."

"What's up! Welcome to my party!"

This is a little extra.

"What's up... What's up, witches!"

Yes, this is nice.

What's up, witches!

What a cutie!

She really has stunned everyone.

Taking baby steps...

And wearing tiny clothes...

-Baby girl Happy who has just arrived... -Namaste.

is being wished a very happy birthday

-by Chinni... -Hi!

Chinnu...

Chitti, and Shorty!

-Yes! -Now, on popular demand...

I'll entertain you all with a song! Hit it, guys!

Have a Kova, Ms. Malkova!

This looks like someone's retirement party and you're calling this a birthday party?

I'm not, he is.

Say cheers!

Don't glare at me. It is his birthday too!

He planned this joint party to cut down on expenses.

At least he could've invited friends. Who invites family to parties?

No friend wanted to attend his party. So, he put that thing up.

I wouldn't have even come had you told me about this.

That's why I didn't tell you.

I got this made with all my gold.

Even I got this made out of my pearl necklace.

Say what you want, but revolvers are royal while pistols are plain.

Good for you but I can't do without my AK 47.

Happy birthday, Happy!

-Thank you. Same to you. -Shall I let you in on a secret?

-Yeah, I guess. -You look like a Victoria's Secret model.

-Shall we do it? -Do what?

-Cut the cake. -Oh! But why me?

-Because it is your birthday. -We aren't kids to cut cakes.

It is so childish!

Come on! Come on! Take the knife! No?

-Wow! Butterscotch! -Yuck!

Take the knife, cut the cake!

Now eat the cake.

Oh, no! Yahoo!

Yummy!

-I waited for a year for this. -To eat cake with Boondi?

No! To have a surprise birthday party at least once in my life.

Didn't this party surprise you enough?

Stop it, will you?

-I can't! This is delicious. -Is it? Then have mine too.

No matter what happens, you need to stay happy in life. Look at him.

Have a Kova, Ms. Malkova!

None of his friends turned up. Still, he is having a blast!

Malkova! Sharapova! Karapova!

Your name is Happy, still you haven't learned how to be happy.

And let me tell you this...

If life is a sky, fly high.

-Are you done? -No. I've to eat your piece of cake too.

-Fine. Have it and go home. -Where are you going?

-To fly high in the sky. -Let's fly together.

-Hey, Mouli! -Hello, Aisha!

She deserves it for hosting this party.

Look at this idiot's turban.

What a lame party it was! I could've stayed home working, but no!

I was expecting a surprise party! It is all my fault...

It's okay.

Hello, ma'am! What would you like to have?

Menu?

She looks like a newbie.

-Never heard these names before. -I guessed it.

-I'll have a Mary Bloody. -Can I check your ID?

You think I'm under-aged? Am I looking like a teen?

-Yes. -Thank you!

What!

She looks like a weirdo.

What! A camera too?

Where did it go?

Is that a handbag or a dump yard?

Coming, sir!

It should be here...

Pasupaleti Happy Tripathi?

Yeah, that's me. Aadhar Cards look funny, don't they?

-Of course. -Now give it back.

Happy, time to get trippy.

Get these two to beat up those four.

You're so lucky to have this delicious drink.

Thank you.

Drink it all up.

Very tasty.

I'm coming!

Where is she going?

Excuse me!

-Yes? - Hi!

-Hi. How may I help you? -Can I...

-...buy you a drink? -Thanks, ma'am, but I'm on duty.

-So? -I don't drink while on duty.

You don't even drink water?

Thanks.

-Happy. -Yeah.

-I mean, my name is Happy. -Oh! Hi, I'm Vicky.

So, what do you do... Other than being handsome?

I work here. I'm the head of security.

Oh! That means I'm in safe hands.

She fell for me over my designation?

-This is my daily routine, by the way. -Wow!

So, this is my occupation. In here, there is a lot of suffocation.

I get a lot of proposals every day but I reject everyone

because I know you are the one.

That girl, this girl, every girl drools over me all day but I keep them away.

Hey! You there?

-Interesting. Tell me more. -Is something wrong?

Not at all! Just that your words are intoxicating.

Gods must be crazy! Tonight is the night.

Please, stop talking, buddy.

You know what? Let's dance! Come on!

-Are you serious? I'm on-- -Come on!

As we get boozed and tipsy...

Buzzed and topsy-turvy...

Let's put all contraries aside...

And dance away into the night...

This ecstasy that has been Enticing me every day...

That doesn't seem to go away...

I'll finally give in to it...

And embrace it tonight...

This night...

This darkness...

Is that game...

Which beats us all!

Throw all hurdles at me

But I'll fly over them tonight

I will put on a disguise Stop the clock

And turn into a wizard if needed

Whatever comes my way...

My feet shall not stop now...

I want to play this game risk free

But play, I will!

This night...

This darkness...

Will I get all that I've always wished for?

Throw all hurdles at me

But I'll fly over them tonight

I will put on a disguise Stop the clock

Listen, I can't do this right now. Here's my card. Call me.

Whatever comes my way...

My feet shall not stop now...

I want to play this game risk free

But play, I will!

Your car is here, ma'am.

You better mind your business!

Oh, God!

Bag? Where is my bag?

SECOND CHAPTER LUCKY

Lucky...

Lucky!

If there really is a God

That is you, Mother...

Brother! How are you, Brother?

-You forgot us already, Brother? -I'm Rose!

-I'm Rosa! -I'm Rosy!

We are your three roses, Brother!

We paid the doctor with the 10 lakh rupees that you sent.

-He has started the treatment. -Cheers!

Mother? Mother is fine, Brother.

The doctor gave her a 90ml tonic. She has had it and is now asleep.

How are you, Brother?

We find ourselves so helpless without you around, Brother.

Please, come home soon, Brother!

Brother! We are running out of balance!

Please recharge our phones with Rs. 1000. B-Brother!

Say, Lucky? You want me to sing a pathos song?

Why are you looking there when I'm here?

-Boss, you want some gravy? -No, serve me some pieces.

Pieces? No more pieces. I ate them all.

The hotel is so huge, and you guys still put such tiny chicken pieces in biryani?

I've been searching but can't find any pieces.

-It is easier to find him instead. -Correct, boss!

-Want some more rice, boss? -Idiot!

I want protein. I want chicken!

So, Lucky? You don't answer my calls or you reply to my texts.

There isn't even any house at the address you gave me.

You expect me to come all the way to this hotel to talk to you?

Who's going to pay for this biryani?

You'll pay for it?

Instead, just repay the money you owe me along with the interest.

You said you'd repay it in three months. You haven't paid a penny yet,

nor do you seem bothered about it. This is pissing me off, you know that?

Don't be kidding me, Kid Cudi!

Just because I look skinny, you think I'm a dummy?

Hoping that people would fear me, I've named myself Gunda.

Still, no one seems to take me seriously!

What? You say you take me seriously? You are kidding me again?

-Remove the drawer! -Yes, boss!

Get up, you dolt!

So, Mr. Michael... You want me to kill?

-I'm talking to you, you fool! -N-No! Stop, please!

-So what about my money? -I'll give you. I'll give you.

-And when will you? -Just give me two days. Please!

Please, I beg you...

-Shut him up, guys! -Yes, boss!

-Shut him up. -No, no, don't close! No!

Did you find it?

No, boss. I didn't find any chicken pieces.

Not chicken, you bum. You'll now find fear in his eyes.

Are you pleading with me or molesting me?

You know why I didn't beat you up like that guy? Because I like you.

There is no nonsense with you. When people fail to pay my money on time,

they come up with really amusing excuses.

But that isn't the case with you. You can't even come up with excuses.

So now, I've come up with something.

I'm not talking about this.

I'm talking about this.

Take it, my boy.

There is a man staying in that room. I want you to--

Don't worry, I don't want you to kill him.

That man has a lighter just like this one.

Steal that man's lighter and put this lighter in its place. Simple.

If you do this, I'll waive off all the money you owe me.

But let me warn you not to get curious

and to think of stealing the guy's lighter for yourself, as it is highly valuable.

Just do as I say. Call me after you are done. Am I clear?

Let's go, guys!

Forgot something.

Okay, bye.

You bloody scoundrels! Get me out of here, please!

Yes?

What?

No, I don't need it.

You think that spray would make me unconscious?

You faggot!

Lucky, come to this location.

She has been saying...

It's okay.

POSH PUB

Lucky, what are you doing here?

Have you cleaned the 10th floor?

Nod horizontally to say no and nod vertically to say yes, but what is this?

You always look to stalk girls in the pub. Get out of my sight!

Bloody idiot.

Hey, girls! Drinks are on you.

Actually, I own this pub. I've leased it out.

When you sing and dance, Even work becomes pleasure...

Ouch! What is it, Lucky?

You want to clean the floor?

You want me to dance with you?

You want me to clean your floor too? No way! Buzz off.

S-Stop it! Enough! Fine, I'll do it...

But the third anniversary of my second marriage is next week.

Do both my shifts on that day... Where did he go? Lucky?

Yes, I'm the manager! Drinks are on you and you and you...

-Now this is some dress. -Am I posh enough now?

-Gu... -Gotcha! This is Guchi!

-Sorry, sir. But you're still not allowed. -Why not?

Hello, sir! Welcome. Nice undies out there!

You complain about my dress but that guy isn't even wearing anything.

-He is a permanent member, sir. -Damn!

You'll allow such a member even if he is naked?

Yes, sir. Those are the perks of being a permanent member.

I don't want Perks or Dairy Milk. Tell me where to sign up.

Even I want to become a peppermint member.

Sure, sir. Why not? Let's begin with your name.

-Binami. -Whose binami are you?

Hey!

That's my name! Bhairi Naga Mani, alias Binami!

-Sounds just like Tsunami. -Exactly!

Your car is here, ma'am. Let's go.

You better mind your business! Let's go, ma'am...

Don't create a scene! If you wish, tag with me

and you too can have her after I'm done.

If there really is a God

That is you, Mother...

Brother! Instead of recharging our phone, you're going out on a joy ride?

Luckily this place has Wi-Fi. So we were able to call you.

This is your Rose!

-Your Rosa... -And your Rosy!

You stopped caring about us already?

-But we will always care for you, Brother. -Don't cry!

From Hotel Ritz Grand, we ordered your favorite biryani...

With double masala!

Brother, have your favorite leg piece! Have it, Brother!

Brother! I think they are turning off the Wi-Fi, Brother!

Brother! Brother!

Hello?

Why have you stopped the car? Any problem?

Oh! You've got a flat tire.

Who are you? Driver?

Is she your employer?

Looks like she passed out after drinking like a fish!

Millennials, I tell you.

Now blow.

Not into the air, into this thing.

Go ahead, blow into it.

Not so millennial.

Show me your license, RC, insurance and pollution...

If not, give me 20 grand!

What does that mean? Papers or money?

Now I like that!

Bring it on.

I want you to pay me, not dance for me.

Go get me my money!

Tiger, come in! Are you there? It is dating time!

-Hey, Disha Batani! This is Tiger Sheriff. -I know! I'm waiting here for you.

-We'll go on a date on Death Street? Sure! -Come soon, Tiger!

I'll be waiting for you on my bike.

-You don't have a car? -Over and out!

20 grand it is! Cute boy!

I'm coming, Batani!

Let me go, you jerk!

Women aren't weaklings!

They are strong, you pervert!

THIRD CHAPTER MAX PAIN

My hair loss is getting worse.

Hello?

Hello! A to Z, any services.

Look behind! Who is gonna pay for this ride? Your dad?

Actually, I want to be a dad.

-Hey! Wait! Pay me up, you retard! -Help me find a wife if you can.

Aadhar Card, Aayudh Card, PAN Card, Ration Card, License,

RC, House Tax, Land Tax, Service Tax, Electricity Bill, Phone Bill, Water Bill,

Class 10 certificate, Inter, Engineering, FRCS, MBBS, MS, MBA,

Birth Certificate, Death Certificate... Even Death Certificate?

-Yes! -OMG! He is crazy!

-These papers will do for now, sir. -Thank God!

-Darling! Let's go and party... -One moment, sir.

-What is it now? -I want you to sign on a few papers.

This guy... Alright, bring it on.

Here you go, sir.

You said papers, but this is a whole book.

Excuse me! Cleaning staff through the back door please...

Oops! My bad, Mr. Pain. Have a great night.

D-Did you even look at him? He looks cheaper than me and still you sent him in?

He has a tattoo, sir.

All you need to let someone in is a tattoo?

-Even I've a tattoo of my mom's name... -That won't be needed, sir.

He is a gold member. All gold members have that tattoo.

-So, I too will be tattooed? -No, sir.

You're just a permanent member while he is a gold member.

Did you check out the gold on me? I too want a gold membership.

Sure, sir. Your wish is our command.

Why did he throw it away?

What is this for?

For Gold Membership.

Hey, girls!

Boom boom!

Hi! Please!

-Max Pain... -Uncle Fixit...

-How are you? -So good that it'd make you jealous.

Why wear sunglasses in this darkness?

You don't want me to wear sunglasses,

or you don't like me wearing it in darkness?

I've never seen you without sunglasses.

As you wish!

Why did you want to meet me?

I'm talking to you, Uncle. Why did you want to meet me?

I want you to do me a service.

-What is this? -One whiskey on the rocks.

-Why are you telling me that? -No, I'm telling him.

-Hi, sir. -Those are my charges.

Why are you telling him that?

-No, I'm telling you! -You better wear your shades.

As expected.

-I want you to dispose a body. -What body?

-Human body. -Alive or dead is what I'm asking.

-Dead body. -Whose body?

I don't know the name.

A man or a woman's corpse is what I'm asking.

-Why do you care? -One rate to dispose a female body,

-another rate to dispose a male body. -Which is cheaper?

It is the same rate for you.

It is a woman's body.

What is the weight?

I haven't checked in recent times. You think I've put on some kilos?

-I'm asking the weight of the corpse. -Why do you care?

One rate for corpse weighing 40 to 50 kilos,

another rate for 50 to 60 kilos, another for 60 to 70,

-another rate for-- -It is the same rate for me, isn't it?

Exactly.

Hello, ma'am. What would you like to have?

That is my rate.

I'm your regular client. Can't I have a discount?

Do you offer your regular clients any discount?

I'll pay 50% in advance. The rest after the job is done.

I want 100% in advance. Additional 10% after the job is done.

What 10%?

Service tax.

What is the guarantee you'll do the job if I pay you upfront?

What is the guarantee you'll pay me after I finish the job?

Done.

-The body is in the car's trunk. -Which car?

Keep pressing the unlock button. You'll find it.

Manual drive or gear-less is what I'm asking.

Why? One rate for manual drive and another for gear-less?

No, it is just that I can't drive gear-less cars.

It is manual drive. The color of the car is--

I'm color blind. Red... Blue...

Left red, right blue...

I've texted the car's number to you.

Not required. I'll keep pressing the unlock button.

Check the message if that doesn't work.

-Thank you! -What for?

I'm thanking him for the drink.

-What is this? -A new drink I've come up with.

Taste it and give me your feedback.

Okay.

Wasn't it epic, sir?

Don't ever come up with such lame drinks again.

Okay, sir!

Even if you do, never serve it to people.

Sure, sir!

-One more. -Right away, sir.

Not that.

-Uncle Fixit... -Max Pain...

Max! I almost forgot.

Happy birthday.

There is nothing happy about a birthday!

See you.

Nice color! Just like my muffler.

I'm coming!

Where is the gear?

Oh, shit!

Uncle, you suck!

Okay, Hari, how to start a gear-less car!

Playing how to start a gear-less car by Mr. C.

Hello! I'm Mr. C. My voice is cute and my content is sweet.

In this video, I'll tell you how to start a gear-less car.

But before that, you should know about manual drive,

and before that, about an auto rickshaw, and before that, about a cycle,

and before all this, about the wheel.

Wheels remind us of the lush countryside

where our grannies make delicious fried Wheels for us.

Having fried Wheels with tea on a breezy evening...

Nothing can beat that feeling!

Wheel was invented during 4th Millennium BC in lower Mesopotamia,

that is, in modern day Iraq. But even before them

we've read about the use of wheels on chariots in Mahabharata and Ramayana...

AFTER 30 MINS

The world's first automatic gear-less car...

But it took a long time before people started buying them.

So that is how gear-less cars came into being.

So how do we start a gear-less car?

Firstly, next to the steering wheel...

Matter of fact, steering wheel is a wheel too.

Next to it, you'll see a wheel shaped button.

If you press that button, your hot air fuming car will be ready to go!

Once your car starts, you can drive it

to where you feel like taking it to.

The sponsor of the video is Granny Wheels! For Rs. 10, you get five crunchy wheels!

Even if it is BSc...

Even if it is MSc...

Even if it is SSC...

Oh, shit! Sauce on shirt!

You bloody millennial! Are you blind or what?

I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

How will you if you wear shades in the night?

-It's night vision. -Then what happened to your vision?

Hand me your car keys.

-Where are the car keys? -This car doesn't have keys.

You better get out of the car. Get out, right now!

-I said get out! -It's central locked.

Such hi-tech set-up? I'm beginning to suspect you.

What is that blood on you?

Who did you murder?

You seem like a demon to me. Get down right now! Get down!

Get down... Get down...

You scoundrel... Why are you wearing warm clothes in winters?

Because it is too hot out here.

Soup Macaroni... Baloney... Mac n Cheese,

Mash Potato... Chip, chip, chip...

-Hit me, old man! Come on! -What is that blood on you?

-It is ketchup. -Are you messing with me?

I'm not.

Lick it and find out for yourself.

You think I'm your puppy to lick you?

Take out your license, RC, insurance and pollution certificate!

If not, pay me 20...

I haven't even asked and you want to bribe me?

I'm sure you committed a crime! Get out of my way.

-Strong old man. -What is inside?

Those are black tinted windows. You can't see a thing with your goggles on.

Open the trunk.

Take this money and close the matter.

You crashed into me while I was waiting for my date.

You have made this personal. So let's start by opening the trunk!

That's not how you start this car. Check out Mr. C's video for more.

Are you trying to be funny? You better open the trunk!

Nagging old man. How much do you want? Let's settle this.

You'll settle this? I need 5 million for my daughter's education

and another 5 million for my wedding. So, I want 20 million in all.

I told you my price. Now settle this for me.

Wait here, my friend. I'll be right back.

You got the money ready?

I like your smile.

-I've opened the trunk. -So that is where the money is?

Let me open the trunk...

Look at the corpse in the trunk. I wonder what you feel...

Batani!

Check the message if that doesn't work.

Pookay?

LuvUSis!

Pookay?

LuvUSis!

Pookay!

Old man, goodbye!

RITZ GRAND POSH PARKING

I'm sorry.

The key is right here.

Come on, come on!

Is there a corpse in the trunk?

Let me cross check.

Where is this room?

Where is 0007? It is here!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Oh, shit! Charger...

This is hot. It means this is the engine.

So the trunk must be behind.

Look at the corpse in the trunk...

Then I wonder what I'll...

I wonder what I see...

DID YOU GET SHOCKED?

FOURTH CHAPTER

You are my love... You are my beloved...

You are my beloved... You are my dear...

You are my dear... You are my dearest...

Sweetheart!

What the...

You are my sweetheart You are my...

Fudge!

-What are you doing? -Oh, shit! She's seen my true colors!

Don't you know you've to knock before walking in?

Oh! Really? Don't you know you have to intimate a person before firing them?

You naughty girl! You always want to get intimate with me, don't you?

-You... -I'm a little tired for that.

-Why did you fire me? -Why are you firing away on me?

-Just answer me, goddamn it! -Well...

-It is complicated. -Just like our relationship?

Our relation? No, it's more than complicated.

How could you do this to me after all I've done? It was my idea, my vision,

my plan, my design...

-But the money is mine. -You...

I've been working on this project for three years.

Half the construction is already done.

-How can you replace me now? -Hold on! Wait a minute!

Sit down now. Such a child this girl is...

-Check it out. -What?

Annexure F...

Article... What the...

21, Group D, Clause 4,

page number 69.

Terms and conditions number 9C... You see--

Shut up and tell me what it is!

As per that, the board has every right

to terminate any contractor out of free will.

That means I can fire whomever I want to.

So, I'm just a contractor now?

-Professionally, yes. -Oh! Really?

-So it is all professional now? -Yeah!

I'm absolutely professional. Anyway, didn't you read before signing on it?

You expect me to read the entire 200 page contract?

Are you not educated enough to know

you have to read before signing, you illiterate?

-Why are you doing this? -Like I said...

-It is complicated. -Because I demanded more money?

Exactly! That is the word. "Demand"!

You can make a request but not a demand. Am I clear?

You mean I should beg you for money?

It was my idea, my vision, my plan, my design...

But the money is mine! I said that already. Are you a baby or what?

How do I put this for you?

Do you ever see movie writers getting paid in crores?

He comes up with the idea, the story, the lines and the screenplay,

but the producer puts in the money. The producer pays him peanuts

and writer grabs it with both hands. He doesn't create ruckus like this.

But if the writer feels cheated, he approaches the media,

creates a controversy and brings the producer to heel.

If I put it out in public the number of people we bribed,

the acres of land we grabbed and the kind of rules we broke

just to get our project started, everything will come to a grinding halt.

Then, you and the rest of the board can play board games.

You triggered the wrong person, Ritz.

I'm giving you two days' time. Give this project back to me.

If not, I'll ruin you and this building.

She simplified the complicated matter--

-Sodhi, you pile of... -No! That's the monitor...

SD display, 56mb RAM with in-built floppy drive!

Mind it!

She is not a baby after all!

I'll take care of her, but not right now.

My beloved...

Ninety percent discount! 5 star rating!

Done!

You'll be ruined.

-You are under arrest. -What?

We are arresting you for attempting to assassinate Ritz.

When did I... All I did was place a bomb...

Look here, Baby! Baby girl!

Whoa! Wow! You fired at him like a pro!

-Such a baby! Alright, we can cut here. -You have anything to say, Baby?

No way! That isn't me. That is all graphics.

-Sir, I'm being framed! -Oh! I wish I could give a damn,

-but too bad for you I don't. -Ritz!

-Long time, no see! How are you? -And the Oscar goes to...

-Ritz, you don't have to do this. -But I just did.

Please! Let's talk and settle this.

I can help you settle down in jail though.

You, son of a...

Y-You know what? I'm pregnant! With your child!

Oh! You see this girl? You see this girl?

She is full of bullshit! She always whines and lies...

Nice try, I'm impotent.

Look away, buddy.

You... You piece of shit!

You shouldn't have broken my monitor.

True! I should've broken your jaw instead!

CO EDUCATION PRISON

Ouch!

I'll see your end!

I've settled it all.

How could you do this to me?

-You see this girl? -It is my idea! Inaugurated?

My vision!

My plan!

Hold on!

69!

I can fire whomever I want.

Don't trouble yourself. I'll do this, ma'am!

Didn't you read before signing on it?

Sweetheart...

Cute, no?

Narcissist.

Here are your keys, ma'am!

But I asked for room number 6969.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but the room is already booked.

-Fine, are there any rooms next to it? -Yes, ma'am.

-I'll have one of those. -But they are booked, ma'am.

Is the room opposite to 6969 available?

-Yes, ma'am, it is available. -I'll have that.

That will be at an extra cost of 39,999 per day, ma'am.

-Why is that? -That is our special, high on demand

honeymoon suite, ma'am!

-Cash or card, ma'am? -Cash.

Thank you, ma'am!

Have a pleasant stay with us, ma'am!

Hello! Welcome to Ritz Grand.

Ew! Tacky! 40,000 for this?

The number you're trying to reach is switched off.

Oh, God! So bright. What the hell! Okay.

I put it somewhere here.

Almost there, almost there.

Pookay!

You are going somewhere? Not so fast.

But how?

You see this bulletproof vest?

You should've fired here or here, not on my bulletproof vest again.

Sorry! You already spent all the bullets.

Who are you?

Myself, Max Pain. A to Z any services, at your lap.

-You clean cars? -I also clear corpses.

-Why are you here? -I'm here to bury your corpse.

But I'm still alive.

Good question.

-Will you be killing me? -No. I wasn't hired for that.

But if you pay me, I can kill you.

Why would I pay to get myself killed?

Better question. This lady has got me thinking!

Alright, call me on that number whenever you die.

-I'll come and bury your body. -How can I call after I'm dead?

The best question I've ever faced!

-What will you do now? -My contract is to bury your corpse,

not to turn you into a corpse. So...

I already got my money paid in full. I won't be getting 10% service tax though.

But since no service was done, no tax will be levied.

After you die, I'll find you and bury you.

That will be job done. I think, you are good to go.

Nice meeting you. Let's shake hands?

-Okay. Bye. -Wait!

-90 kilos! -You do any service?

-A to Z any services, at your lap. -Will you do me a service too?

-What is this? -The list for my services.

I've no time. I want you to set up a bomb.

-What is this? -The list of bombs I can set up.

The bomb is already set up. You just need to activate it.

-Where is the bomb? -In Room no. 6969.

-It is a C4 plastic explosive-- -That's not needed.

You said C4. That's enough.

-Your phone number? -That's my rate.

Can I get a discount?

Now it looks like the room number. That's a lot of discount.

Hash tag, Feminist.

Gorgeous!

Cheapster! I should pay the money upfront?

No. First I finish the job, then I take the bucks.

-Hash tag, Job satisfaction. -Hypocrite!

One more thing, the guy in that room tried to kill me.

I think he is a professional killer.

If he is a professional killer, I'm a pain killer.

See you around.

What did he say?

I hate car trunks!

-Shit! This way it is. -What an idiot!

FIFTH CHAPTER SERENA WILLIAM

THEGUVA INTELLIGENT SPY ASSOCIATION

Greetings, Agents Serena and William.

The details of your upcoming mission will now be revealed.

The man you see in this photo is a Russian named Vladimir Yourinov.

It is believed that he is staying in Sin City.

-Thanks. -You're welcome.

You already know about the Gun Amendment Bill

passed by Minister Rithwik Sodhi a few years ago.

The gun supply contract was then allotted to Boris Nikolai.

By awarding the gun supply contract to Boris Nikolai,

it is believed the minister stole 100 billion rupees from the budget.

This man named Vladimir Yourinov...

I hope no one is eavesdropping on me...

Has the proofs for the same!

It is believed that Yourinov asked for a truck load of gold

to return all the proofs to Minister Sodhi...

But finally, his demands came down to a briefcase of gold.

So, when this meeting happens between Minister Sodhi and Yourinov,

you are instructed to tape the entire meeting

and with blood-smeared hands...

My apologies. You need to catch them red-handed.

Okay.

Other relevant details are there in the package you received.

This projector shall explode the whole place in the next 5 seconds.

Oh, shit!

-Run! -Yeah, running!

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Seenu! Hope you have a nice stay.

Couldn't you find a better name than Seenu?

-Thank you. -Welcome, ma'am!

Thank you.

Why are they like this?

Hello! Welcome to the Ritz Grand...

THEGUVA

Yes.

Minister and Yourinov are set to meet in Room 6969.

So, we need to rig that room with cameras.

-How do we do that? -Sir, housekeeping!

-Can you hear me? -Loud and clear.

-When will the Minister arrive? -Nine o'clock.

That means Yourinov must be here by now.

But no rooms are booked under the name of Yourinov.

Just like we did, he might be using some other name.

Our operation isn't about Yourinov. It is about the meeting.

-Who is he? The minister? -I don't think so.

-What the hell! -What happened?

Room no 6969 has been booked under the name of Sniper Sam!

-Sniper Sam? -You think he is an assassin?

No, I still think it is a fake name!

Which room has been booked under the name of the minister?

What the... No room has been reserved under his name!

Goddamn it!

-You think he found out about us? -Or maybe he is playing safe.

I think he'll book a room at the very last minute.

Does that mean this entire set-up has gone to waste?

Do we have extra cameras?

No! We have put all our cameras in room 6969.

Yuck! Think, think, think... Ding, ding, ding...

William! Look!

Oh, shit!

William! What are you doing?

-I'm going to save her. -She is dead, damn it!

-Is it? You checked her pulse? -Don't spoil this operation, William.

-She needs a bloody operation, Serena! -That is not our problem, William!

One big argument later.

-I think she escaped. -You said she died a while ago.

-Doesn't matter, she isn't there! -True.

What do we do now?

A room has been booked under the minister's name.

We need to rig that room with cameras.

That means we've to take out the cameras from 6969.

No!

-First disconnect them then take them out. -What a piece of...

THEGUVA

Serena!

-He seems to be dangerous. -That's why I'll take care of him.

-Let me know if any problem. -Serena!

Did you forget our ritual?

-My country is the land of the pure! -My respects to it.

-My country is the land of the fortunate! -It is always in my thoughts.

We're getting late.

Please, don't scream.

Sorry.

0007!

-Please don't scream! -Please don't shoot.

How did you find out about us?

-Who are you even? -My question exactly.

-Who are you? Answer me! -H-Happy!

Do I look happy? I'm angry!

H-Hi, Mr. Angry. Nice to meet you.

-Who do you work for? -I'm a freelancer!

-For what terrorist group? -For what terrorist group do you work for?

Don't you dare call me a terrorist. I'm a Theguva loyalist!

O-Okay, Mr. Angry Theguva loyalist. Please, I need your help.

I have entered, William. The room is empty.

Okay, move fast. I'll shoot you if you move!

-William? -Yes, tell me.

He seems to be a professional assassin. There is a sniper gun here.

-Actually-- -Shut up!

-He is here to kill someone. -Sorry.

-Get to the cameras! -Okay.

Cameras? Where?

-Job done, William. -Okay. Now get out as soon as you can!

-Okay, thank you... -Stand still!

-I think you've mistaken me with-- -William, someone is here!

-Who? -William! William!

-Where do I begin? -I'll slap you if you talk.

Serena? Serena! Shit!

Serena! Serena!

Don't scream!

THEGUVA

Not my hair!

Where are you, Lucky? You've kept us waiting for a long time now.

If there is really a God...

Brother!

They changed the Wi-Fi's password, Brother.

We had to request the clerk

to turn on his hotspot, Brother!

Since you like it, we ordered from Famous Paan Shop on Tomato...

-Sada Paan for mother... -Zarda Paan for the doctor...

And Double Ka Meetha Scene Sitara Paan for us all, Brother!

-Have a bite, Brother! -Have it, Brother!

Hold the phone!

Brother, just one more hour to go. After that...

Lucky!

What are you doing here? Skipping work and getting drunk?

No, no, no! No haggling with your manager. Come on, clean it!

-I've signed them all. Now can I go in? -Definitely, sir.

-Thank you! Let's go, darling. -But...

Your KYC is under process, sir. It might take a few minutes.

-How many more minutes? -Please be patient, sir.

This man always talks rules...

That guy looks like a patient but you still sent him in?

He showed me his middle finger, sir!

You let him in because he flashed his finger?

Certainly, sir.

I'll give you the finger, let me in too!

We'll let members in if they give the finger.

If you give us the finger, we'll rip it apart.

What do you mean? Even I'm a member!

Yes, sir, but he's privileged gold member and you are under privileged gold member.

Even I want that membership. I mean, getting tattooed is painful.

-True, sir. -I'd prefer flashing the finger.

-It'd be my honor to serve you, sir. -Thank you, sir!

-He threw the book away? -For privileged gold.

You have to sign these new set of documents, sir.

Again?

No! You have to sign on them.

Hey, one second. That's a nice blue suit!

Now get out! Got it!

6969. I'm coming.

-William, someone is here! -Serena... Serena... Shit!

Shady lamp shade.

Gotcha!

Sam!

SIXTH CHAPTER SNIPER SAM

Welcome, darling!

You got scared!

-Isn't this nice? -Yes!

Hi, sir! I'm your floor manager. Is there anything you want to tell me?

Your wish is my command, sir! Thank you, sir. Drinks on you, sir!

-Isn't this so smooth! -Please behave, darling.

Ouch.

THANKS

Hi, Sam! After a long time. How are the husband and kids?

GET TO WORK, YOU SON OF

"Get to work, you son of..."

Who is this? Your client?

"No." Then why did you kill her?

"It is none of your business."

Should I bury the body or burn it?

"Whatever suits you, you son of..."

It has one rate for burying and another rate for burning.

"Tell me the final rate."

So quick? You got 6G?

"Wife-I"?

After the work is done...

"Don't call me." Okay, Sam.

"You need help?"

It is not about age, it is about mileage.

HE IS NOT OLD YET

Hello, Max!

Let's see the magic!

Guess where I am!

Dear! My dear?

Don't tie it too hard.

-Keep turning! Now come find me! -I'm feeling dizzy.

Ritz Grand reception! How may I help you?

Hello, sir? Hello? Hello?

I've entered, William!

-William, someone is here! -Serena! Serena...

Sam!

It is you?

Pain!

"Why are you here?" Me?

I've a little errand to run.

There is a bomb in this room which I need to activate.

Of course! With your kind permission.

Thank you, Sam!

"Do not disturb me."

You haven't changed at all, Sam.

Nice carpentry. So cheap.

The 5 star rated C4.

Ah! This has a switch on it.

Sorry to disturb, Sam!

Sam, I've activated the bomb. It will go off any moment...

DO NOT DISTURB

I'll miss you, Sam.

Job done! It's activated.

Come and see me in my room.

Where is your room?

-Come in. -What a seductive turn of events!

I wish we both are stuck in a room...

-And we lose the keys! -I hope there is no hidden camera.

You should do something else for me.

The service you're expecting...

I've never done it before. I don't even know how to do it.

What is the process? First me...

Or you...

-You... -Me?

...have to find someone.

-Look. -Who?

I've seen this girl before. She looks so familiar.

No.

Consider the job done.

Please don't entice me again like this. I can't hurt my feelings!

Like I care.

You don't want to know anything about her? Just one look at the photo is enough?

When people get married with just one look at a photo,

can't I find this girl?

See you around!

Dumbass!

Vicky? Vicky!

Lucky!

Where are you off to, you clown?

That's enough dancing. Now deliver this food order to Room 7777.

No, no, no! It's my order. Don't you dare disorder.

Drinks on you! Go, go, go, go!

Vicky... Vicky...

-Vicky! -Happy?

-Please, Vicky! Help me, Vicky! -What's the matter?

Someone is trying to kill me. I've been running away from him.

-Who is it? -Even my phone got turned off!

-Please help me. Please hide me, Vicky! -Now please calm down.

-Vicky, please! Try to understand! -Okay, okay.

It is alright. Get in.

It took you quite some time, Lucky.

This is your ruse to come meet me?

Take it out.

Why are you staring so blankly? Did you get the lighter?

Then give it to me.

Lucky, I already warned you not to be kidding me.

You better hand over that lighter.

Take out the drawer, guys!

I'll kill you...

I'm Max Pain.

-A to Z, any services. Take a look. -Okay.

Please carry on and lock the door.

Next time, please wear gloves. Or just...

Call me!

Give them to me.

-No... I don't want this life... -Excuse me!

May I?

-Just relax. Feel free. -Is it safe here?

Yes, of course! It is a safe room.

Apart from me, not even air can get in here.

That's exactly what I want.

This is what you want?

Come to me! Come!

Come to me! Yes!

Happy?

What happened?

I'm in. Do you copy? I'm in!

What the hell happened?

SECRET CHAPTER GUDUPUTANI

Ouch!

I'll see your end!

How could you do this to me? The idea was mine, vision was mine, plan was mine,

the bloody... The design was mine!

But the money was his?

Hello, my dear Sister! Welcome to my world!

It was Happy and Baby's 7th birthday.

Looking at Happy cry, Baby pleaded her parents not to fight,

but they paid no heed. They got separated

and went on to marry someone else.

Unable to decide what to do with the kids, they left them both at an orphanage.

One day, Happy stole a book from one of their classmates

and put it near Baby. Assuming that Baby is the thief,

the teacher thrashed Baby.

Every day, Baby kept receiving thrashings because of Happy.

That's when Baby got an idea.

Baby stole the teacher's special skin care soap

and put it under Happy's pillow.

By the time Happy got up, the police surrounded her.

Happy was put in jail while Baby went to school.

The mischievous Happy went on to become a thief

and Baby who studied in Bombay became an architect.

After so many years, they've finally met!

Born in a place faraway, going in different pathways...

We finally meet here In this dingy cell...

You said I chose the wrong path and then went away on your own.

But here we are together in this jail, Baby girl!

I never thought I'd see your face again.

Why? You see this face in the mirror every day!

I wouldn't look at my face in the mirror if I were you.

Are you ridiculing my beauty?

What? You got beauty?

-I'll kill you today! -You'll be dead by then!

A few moments later.

Out of these many cells in this jail, why was I locked with you?

Because I used my clout and brought you to my cell.

-What for? -To find out what happened to you.

And why is that you're concerned about me?

You know what the greatest bond of all is?

-James Bond? -No.

Blood bond.

This is how us middle class people express love.

We fight over differences.

-We brawl over trifles. -True!

But during times of difficulties, we have each other's back!

Her speech has made me so emotional!

-Sister! -No!

We don't have the budget for graphics.

-Oh, no! -Anyway, what has happened, Baby?

It's complicated.

It is not complicated. It is calculated.

-What do you mean? -It means you were fired

only to make room for the ruling party president's son.

-Why would Ritz do that? -For a seat in the party.

That shit...

Next time, throw your food into my plate!

Gobhi 65! They cook vegetarian just once a week.

Inaugurated?

Ouch!

Eye of the tiger!

-I will fly and touch the sky! -Fly higher, ma'am.

Oh! I'm sorry.

39,999... 40,000...

Don't trouble yourself, ma'am. I'll do it.

-That girl beat me up, ma'am! -You'll be fine...

Who was that?

Throwing away dumbbells is useless. Throw a punch at his face.

He is the goddamn defense minister! I can do nothing!

Think! No matter how powerful he is, you can still find a weak link.

-A vault? -Yes.

While I was designing the building's plan, he insisted on adding a secret vault.

He told me not to talk about it with anyone.

But isn't it possible that Ritz changed the location of that vault?

It's impossible. By the time I got fired, the vault was set up.

But how do you know the vault has money in it?

I've put all my informers on this job, ma'am.

-Alright. Now continue. -Yeah, sure.

I'm told Rithwik Sodhi has hidden away all his money somewhere, ma'am.

-Is this reliable information? -Yes, ma'am! Totally reliable!

Lavanya 340! What are you murmuring? Talk louder!

What are you guys doing in my room?

Here you go, ma'am!

Ritz stashed all the money he made from gun contract in that vault.

My informers confirmed this.

-Begin the show, you dolt! -Jackass!

This is the building's blue print, and right there is the vault.

Right in the pub?

I'll begin my planning from the outside.

-Let's rock. -Lavanya, I hate tears!

I need a new identity.

Is there no discount?

Wow! Is this a festive offer?

-What will your name be? -Happy.

-And what would you do? -College.

-College teacher-- -No! Student.

I want to put my con life aside

and experience college life for once.

I want a job in Ritz Grand.

It isn't some roadside hotel to get a job in it so easily.

I know! That is why I'm asking you.

I don't care what contacts you pull, but I need a job in Ritz Grand!

Hello!

Enough of looking at yourself in the mirror. Get to work!

Wow! A silver spoon!

Hello, sir. Happy honeymoon.

Key card and fingerprint access is needed to enter.

Only that of the head of security would work.

But I don't know what the vault looks like.

But I do.

Packer, hacker, safe cracker, driver.

Yes!

They are just shy.

I'll accommodate those four guys like they are a rock band.

Then, I'll seduce the head of security and get--

Wait! You'll seduce him?

Will he get seduced?

What do you mean?

Instead of looking at me, change your look.

Is this look okay?

Now, shall I continue?

I'll seduce the head of security and get the key card and fingerprints

after which we'll disarm the security measures of the vault.

Then, we'll crack the safe, take the money...

-Load them into garbage bags-- -And avenge what happened to me!

But how do we get out with so much money?

There is wastage vent near the kitchen.

We can drop all our bags into it.

What are you thinking about?

If this should go as per plan, we should have no distractions.

For us to not have any distractions, I say we should create a distraction.

Why create a distraction? Let's instead cause a destruction.

How will we plant a bomb amidst so much security?

We won't have to. There is one already.

After the bomb blast, all security systems will shut down.

It'll take five minutes for the security systems to reboot.

Everyone will be evacuated as part of security measures.

Right then, we can get out from there along with everybody else.

You planted that bomb five years ago. Will it go off?

The bomb has very good customer reviews. It will go off.

Okay!

So, when do we do this operation?

I'm in!

What the hell happened!

-Please stop shivering, sir. -Long live, Rithwik Sodhi!

Who is he? Neither did he flash the finger nor did he show you his tattoo!

-He is the owner of this hotel. -So? He can walk in just like that?

Obviously, sir! Don't you walk into your house just like that too?

If I walk in just like that, my wife would thrash me.

-Can we get in at least now? -I'm extremely sorry to say this, sir,

but your membership application got rejected.

Got rejected?

-You're so useless. You wasted my time! -Hey! Babe! Babe!

-How unlucky this guy is! -She really left me?

-Why is it rejected? - Instead of color,

you submitted black and white photocopies.

Why didn't you tell me you needed color?

I thought you knew it, sir.

Had I known anything about this hotel, I wouldn't have even come here!

-I'm extremely sorry, sir. -To hell with your sorry!

You made me spend a bomb already and made me sign on all papers

just to say my membership is rejected? I'm not interested in this membership anymore.

-Return my money and I'll leave from here! -Oh! By the way, this is non-refundable.

-Non? -Refundable.

That means you shall not get your money back.

Mummy!

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday!

Your boss has been humiliated! Come here right away.

Serena...

-Serena, I hope nothing happened to you. -What happened to you?

While trying to rescue you, I tripped over and hit my head...

-Wait! Where is this girl? -Which girl?

-The girl I tied against a chair and-- -Don't tell me about your wild fantasies.

That was a fantasy?

It felt like it really happened.

-Hug me tight, o brave man... -Wow! When did the minister arrive?

While you were fantasizing.

Did Yourinov arrive?

-He is on the way! -Please don't scream.

What has happened to him? Is it some seizure attack?

Just look at him.

-Or did some rabid dog bite him? -Seems like it, boss.

-Wow! Women! -Yes, boss!

Is he answering my question or putting on an audition?

Feels like I've seen this scene before, boss!

Reminds me of Aparichitudu by Vikram.

-Who was the guy who hit you from behind? -I don't know.

Who was the guy who spiked your drink?

-I don't know. -Yet, we ended up in the same car?

And now, we've ended up in the right place.

This damn wig!

-I finally understood something. -What?

Birthdays don't suit us.

Piece of cake!

Just get to work.

Shall we begin?

Security systems?

Disarmed!

-Bomb? -Activated. Cameras?

-Bags? -Ready!

Alpha, come in, Alpha, come in! This is Theta.

The cameras are off. Please switch them on.

They are on. Over and out.

Vermilion is the crown on a woman's head. Pushpa is the jungle's dread.

-Where are you, Ritesh Babu? Come to me. -Sir!

-Yes, Ritesh Babu? -Mr. Yourinov is here.

-Where is the translator? -I'll find out, sir.

Hurry up, Ritesh Babu! Find out soon, Ritesh Babu!

-Where is the translator? -Translator!

We need a translator!

-Are you the translator? -Yes, of course!

I'm Max Pain! A to Z, any service at your lap...

-Come with me. -Don't get touchy!

Mother of Dragons!

No, he is the father of dragons.

-Hi! -Hi.

Hi!

-Shall we begin? -Certainly.

I like it neat.

Oh, shit! Cheers.

So, Mr. Vladimir Yourinov. How are you?

Sorry, sir, you're mistaken. Myself Max! Max Pain!

-Translate it. -You don't know English?

Max means maximum. Pain means an ache.

-So Maximum Ache is the name. -Translate whatever I say.

-Translate what he speaks. -Why would I?

-Why would he? -Not him, you do the translation.

Who asked you? I asked him.

-Oh! Okay. -Ah! Okay.

By you, I mean you! Not me.

By you, he means you. Not him.

-Whatever! -Whatever!

-Who even is this guy? -Right! Actually, who are you?

-I'm Vladimir Yourinov. -Urine? No...

Yourinov? You are now?

-You are now Vladimir. -I am not Vladimir.

-How am I Vladimir? -Who said it's you?

-I said, me. -I was just talking to myself.

Max, Max, Max... Listen to me.

Actually, look at me. Remove your glasses.

Now look into my--

Please, put them back on. Please!

-Please, put them back on, Max. -As you wish.

And listen to me now.

So, Max, translate whatever I say. Max...

Translate whatever I say from this moment onwards.

I'll count till three. After that, you can begin translating.

-Okay? -Okay.

One, two, three...

Ask him if he brought what I asked for.

Oh! Okay.

One, two, three... Did you get what I want?

Why would I? I don't know you.

He says you are not famous enough to be known.

You...

Not what you asked for, what I asked for.

You!

Not what you asked for, what I asked for.

-What did you ask for? -He doesn't know what you asked for.

-I'll tell him... -He'll tell you...

Are you done? Did he get what I asked him to get?

Did you get what we both speak?

I don't know what you both speak.

He says I wouldn't know what you asked him to get.

-How will you know what we both spoke? -Exactly, sir!

How would you know what we spoke?

-That's what I said. -That's what he is asking!

-O, Father Lord! How do I tell him? -How should I tell your father?

-What do you want to tell my father? -What do you want to tell his father?

That you are crazy fool!

-Your father is a crazy flower! -You're calling my father a crazy flower?

Are you calling my father a crazy flower?

No. I'm calling myself and my father crazy flowers!

Not you, me, my father, my forefathers,

-are all crazy flowers! -What is wrong with you both?

You both did something wrong?

Hiring you to translate is the wrong I did.

Putting you to translate is our biggest mistake!

-I'm not a translator. -I'm not a translator.

-Then who are you? -Then who the hell are you?

I'm the one who came to deal, Yourinov.

I'm what you are now! Deal with it!

-Just shut up! -Lift your shirt up!

Cut the crap! Did you get the gold?

Chop the garbage! Did you get it, my gold!

-Of course! You got the files? -Of course! You got piles?

-Of course! -Of course!

Wait! What? Can you speak English?

What? You speak English?

Of course! I was speaking it the whole time.

Of course! I was speaking the language of the British nonstop.

Wow! Wasn't this such a productive meeting?

Anything else, sir? Do you like my services?

A to Z services, at your shoes! Anytime!

I need a damn drink!

Oh! This way.

Such a huge hotel!

The stairs are so smooth and slippery!

-Just like your cheeks. -Let's go to the pub, dear!

Who are these guys?

If your group wants to get in,

you need a group membership...

If you liked my performance, please drop a 5 star rating.

This is what I wanted!

Boss! Keep firing, boss!

-Not at me, boss! -I'm sorry, Sotari.

Let's get in, guys.

Every random fool is walking in. Keep an eye, Ritesh Babu.

Yes, sir.

-Sorry for that. -It is okay.

-Come on, give it to me. -No! Let me see the gold first.

We almost got him, Serena.

-Take it. -Wow!

-Just joking. -No! First, let me see the files.

There you go.

Ritesh Babu...

Find me a guy and marry me off, Dad!

I can't do these studies anymore!

Why don't you look me in the eye And listen to my heart's unspoken words?

I'm that intoxication Which will entice you

I'm that poison Which will make you eternal

I'm that love That will seep deep into your veins

I'm that scented arrow That will find your heart

So get ready for epic tales of lust

That was so good, sir!

-Ritesh Babu! -Sorry, sir!

-What the hell is this? -The proof of your true nature.

Why do you care about my nature? And how did you get this?

I have my sources.

I thought he had proofs regarding the Gun deal.

-What? -Ah! This guy!

-Do you have any more copies? -No, I gave you everything.

Like I said, I'm a man of my word.

Like I never said, I'm not a man...

-Sir! -Of my word.

You're still waiting? Kill him!

Shit!

That was close!

Ritesh Babu...

-Yes, sir? -Call him.

You mean to say kill him?

I mean to say call Uncle Fixit! Such an imbecile you are, Ritesh.

Note this murder!

Sorry, take it!

Hey, you! Enough of your theatrics!

You got me pissed! Now tell me where the lighter is.

Dumb idiots! I explained it so well and you still didn't get it?

I put the lighter in that girl's bag and drove her car

only to be pulled over by a cop after the tire went flat.

I escaped from the cop and got back to the parking lot

where that girl kicked me and ran way!

Ever since I've been trying to search her, avoid my manager and explain this to you!

Wow, guys! He can speak.

If there really is a God, it is mom...

-Brother! -Sisters!

My vow of silence is finally over.

-How is mother? -She went into a coma!

Didn't I tell you not to let her leave the room?

Enough of this melodrama! Coma is a state of prolonged unconsciousness.

Doctor, you said my mother will be cured if I observed the vow of silence.

Well, doctors say lots of things.

You also took from us lots of money.

I took the money for her treatment, not for my betterment.

Will my mother survive, Doctor?

I'll treat her if you send me money. If not, I'll send you her dead body.

-Brother... -iPhone for these losers?

They are broke, still they buy iPhones and do stupid TikTok reels.

Brother, even this year-long vow of silence didn't work.

What will you do now, Brother? What will you do now?

Vow of silence will not cure mother,

-but money will. -Well said, Brother.

I'll get the money.

I'll get loads and loads of money!

Amen!

So heart-touching...

You took a year-long vow of silence to cure your mother's illness?

You should've also done Satyanarayana Vrata, Varalakshmi Vrata and what not.

Guys, enough! His love for his mother makes me want to sing a song.

Your mother is so great...

For she conceived someone As gorgeous as you...

O Mother! O wonderful Mother!

-Boss, even I want to sing. -Be my guest!

What did your mother feed you, baby doll?

For you look this sexy...

-Alright, now it is my turn. -Sure, go ahead.

Serve me some rice, O Mother! Serve me some curry, O Mother!

Feed me And all your children shall be blessed!

O Mother! O wonderful Mother!

O Mother! O wonderful Mother!

Listen up, Lucky!

If you don't find the lighter, I'll first kill your mother.

Boss... Boss...

Mummy...

I swear on my mother, I shall shoot everyone!

Wait, wait, wait...

It's late and I don't have any leaves left.

What is this? Poor man's Gangs of Wasseypur?

-Hello, sir! How may I help you? -We need to go to Posh Pub.

I'm sorry, sir, that is only for posh--

-Say posh again and I'll kill you! -They might really shoot!

Right this way, sir. Please follow me.

Take it away.

Am I not pretty... How much...

How much?

-Consider this a free gift. -Well, thank you,

but I'm sure there is some catch.

-Don't you see it yet? -Pervert.

-See what? -I never sat down around you.

But here I am, sitting cross legged right in front of you. You know why?

Because you've got some knee pain?

-I've got pain in my heart. -Must be a cardiac arrest!

-Ritesh Babu, call the doctor... -It isn't a cardiac arrest,

it is a criminal's arrest.

Shall I call the doctor or not?

The axe may forget because that is its nature.

But a tree will never forget, because it is part of the nature.

I like the rhyming of it but not the timing.

Problems remind us of our true friends,

but tears remind us of our enemies.

Stop these WhatsApp quotes and be clear in what you say!

We can give a chance to the enemy...

but never give a chance to a friend.

Do you realize I'm not following a word you are saying?

Follow is what a flock of sheep does.

Roar is what a lion does.

I'm sick of this! Kill him!

I mean, kill him, not call him.

Oh, Lord! Oh, Good Lord!

-Ritesh Babu, you too? -Are you stunned?

-Uncle, what is this? -Your karma?

Stop the drama and answer me!

This isn't a drama. This is a tragedy, for you.

-This exact frustration... -Are you a baby or what?

I used to feel it every month like it were menstruation.

What frustration and menstrua--

You are on a flow. Keep going.

-My heart tolerated the pain! -Go on...

-But the idea of revenge tamed my mind! -Is it?

Welcome to Posh Pub, sirs!

So much fuss over this stupid-looking pub? Somayya Bar is better than this one.

Bloody lunatic!

POSH PUB

It's not a bar, sir. It's a pub, sir.

Whatever floats your boat. Now get me something to drink!

-Excuse me, sir! I'm not a bartender-- -Another word and I'll kill you.

-It's my pleasure to serve you, sir. -Now move it!

Okay, you idiot.

This is posh? No, I am posh.

No, no, no! Shit, shit, shit!

-Happy... -Please open the door!

-Happy? Happy! -All our planning has gone to waste.

I don't want to go to jail again. I don't want that luxurious life!

-Happy! I'm talking to you! -What?

What is that?

-Button! -What for?

Safety door!

-In case anyone gets locked inside... -You mean we could've entered from there?

You can't get in through this door. You can only get out.

Wow! Everything is so convenient, isn't it?

-She always keeps blabbering... -And the money?

My money! Wait for me!

It'll be nice if there's an FM.

-Here you go, sir! -I asked for a drink, not for water.

Sir! This is Mary Bloody!

Wash your face with this, lady.

Go and get me a Coke. I like it neat. Now move it!

-Sure, sir! Right away, sir! -I said move it.

Control, QT! You don't want to go to jail again.

Guys, let's go!

Ladies! Young ladies!

Ladies! Cute ladies!

I won't spare you.

Want to play with me? Want to sing with me? Want to dance...

I challenge you to a dance... Where did all the girls go?

Forget the girls, guys! Let's dance ourselves!

I challenge you To a dance face off...

Life and death shall be decided By this dance battle

Dance, Sunday! Dance, Monday!

Each time my anger took a step forward, my thoughts took a step backwards.

My thoughts are educated, but my anger is illiterate.

With time, anger would recede, but not the pain.

Hello, agents Serena and William. Based on the money we received--

Based on the information we received today...

There has been a change of plan.

Not only should you not nab Minister Rithwik Sodhi...

You should put your lives at stake...

And protect him from all costs...

And escort him to a safe place.

In case you fail in this mission, you shall be termed anti-nationals

and you shall be subjected to gruesome torture techniques

and shall be killed. Simple.

-Screw this... -Serena, you forgot the ritual again.

-We are the most honest people ever! -Just that we lie if needed.

We shall pray to the God of Honesty

-We shall put our lives... -We're getting late.

She always walks away.

-Oh, by the way... -Yes, sir?

This device shall blow up the building...

-Well, you know it. -Shit!

Serena!

Serena!

Why didn't this break?

Please, don't scream...

Anger is like a matchstick. You can light it only once.

But ambition is like a lighter. You can keep lighting it forever.

Even thin air can't get in, but you guys dared to get in?

What happened here? Vicky?

What...

-Die, you both! -No!

I'm not dead yet?

Screw you...

Praise the Lord!

Ritesh Babu...

I realized it isn't anger that I want. It is an opportunity that I want.

-I got that opportunity through Yourinov. -Finally? Yourinov?

Someone is blackmailing Rithwik Sodhi with the details of that deal with Boris.

-Who is it? -A guy named Vladimir Yourinov.

-A meeting is scheduled for the day after. -Where is the meeting?

-Hotel Ritz Grand. -Do you know what he looks like?

These are his details.

He has a lighter that looks exactly like this.

Put this lighter in his room and bring to me his lighter.

What is this?

The job I'm giving you.

The lighter Yourinov gave you is the dummy one.

The real lighter is still with me.

-What will you do with it? -Ruin your life.

This is unfair, Uncle! Didn't I listen to all the crap you said?

-Also, what did I ever do to you? -I'm getting there.

Not there, please!

If I tell you your mistake,

you'll just know your mistake. You won't learn from it.

But if don't tell your mistake,

your life will be ruined trying to find out what it is.

But you know what? No matter how much you try,

you shall rot in hell without knowing what hit you...

-Not on my face. I hate pimples. -Sir, let's move.

-Who are you? -I'm your savior.

I didn't order for one. Anyway, let's go...

-Not that way, sir. There's been a blast. -Blast? How do we get out now?

Can that tiny chopper fit us both? What sort of a savior are you?

What is taking you so long? I asked for Coke, not for cocaine.

This is going to kill you.

-Look at boss when he speaks! -I know what to do!

Fire!

Quit staring and fire at her!

-But how do we fire this thing? -Just press the trigger...

-Wow, Bro! Aren't these guns so cool! -Sunday!

You witch!

This is all because of you!

Shall we start the game?

Run away, guys!

Is this some new kind of dance, dear?

-Ratna! -Dear!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

-What happened? -Security systems got activated.

We should hurry. Got no time.

-Hey! Where to? -To get the remaining bags.

-We don't have time! -Drop the bags faster then.

Happy, can you find the way back?

Unlike you, I've got photographic memory!

Thank God I survived!

Who are these people?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday! Fire!

Where are you all?

He dropped the gun!

I repeat, he dropped the gun! Fire!

Who is this guy?

-Hey, Lucky! -Now who is he?

This is an action scene, not an over-action scene.

Are you done with the cleaning?

Nod horizontal to say yes, nod vertical to say no,

but what does this mean? Drinks on you!

It is her!

Give me the bag.

The other one.

I mean the other one.

This is a purse, you idiot!

This purse isn't real gold. I bought this from the streets of Koti.

My sweetheart!

POSH PUB

-Dear, let's go to the doctor! -Ratna, don't you remember?

-What, dear? -Did we ever

leave from a pub without singing a song?

What song do you want me to sing?

Sing me a nice item number.

Yes! Sing me that song.

Are you game for it, Honey?

Or would you just pass it, Honey?

You know I'm always game, Ratna!

Are you game for it, Honey? Or would you...

Good Lord! Baby!

Hello! Happy? What happened? Hap...

Time's up!

That was so fast.

We are back, boss!

What for? To get killed?

Go.

-I have descended from heaven! -Where do I hear songs?

So just move your body! Move your body! Move your body!

I'm dead.

Chekhov's gun?

What's up, witches!

Bastard!

-What happened? -Too tired to tell.

-You know what happened to me? -Too tired to listen.

Let's go!

-But how? We're surrounded! -Through this vent.

Are you serious?

Hail Mother Goddess!

-Where is the truck? -How would I know?

-What about the money? -The truck must've taken it all.

Will shouting bring back our money?

Let's find out.

Happy birthday to you

Corruption behind the Gun Bill has been exposed.

This bill has now been rolled back.

Rithwik Sodhi to get a 100 year prison sentence.

Many feel the sentence is very light.

"Hope is a good thing and no good thing..."

Left, right, left, right, attention!

Sir, someone is here to meet you.

-Is it Shashank? -I don't know, sir.

Tell them to wait in the waiting room.

-Where else will anyone wait, sir? -Wow! Nice joke!

"Good is a hope thing and no hope thing..."

Hey, Baby!

What a sudden Suppai!

You got released without any noise like one of those low budget movies.

To lock you up forever, I had to do things without any noise.

What do you mean?

-You mean... -The idea is mine, vision is mine,

planning is mine, design is mine...

-But-- -The money lost is yours!

Of course! Along with money, you also lost your fame, name and the gun bill.

I had warned you but you paid no heed.

-But hope is a good thing-- -I'm not interested.

Anyway! I achieved what I set out to achieve.

You call this your achievement?

Sorry!

What did you think? That I'd be feeling distraught in here?

That I'd have no bread to eat and no tequila to drink in here?

Centralized AC! 65 inch TV!

Subscription to OTT and time to time green tea.

To read, I've got papers. To serve me, I've got bearers.

To browse, I've got internet. In short, my life is set.

And so what if the Gun Bill got rolled back?

Someone will come up with a Bomb Bill.

Bills can be passed as easily as students fail in exams.

But Baby, I've realized something after coming here.

To live, you don't need money or moisturizer.

You need peace of mind.

You can survive without inner-wear,

but you can't survive without inner peace,

and sadly, you don't have that.

Even though I'm behind the bars, I have loads of it...

I mean, the inner peace.

Because this is the climax scene,

you must've walked in with slow motion for effect.

But for you, this is anti-climax.

So, I suggest you go home and do some meditation.

Actually, I suggest guided meditation for someone like you.

What is making you laugh like a clown?

I brought you a gift. It is in your cell.

Okay, bye!

It better be special!

O Baby doll, made of gold!

O Baby doll, made of gold!

Hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies.

You are born in a moment and you die in a moment.

The life in between these moments is an agonizing blessing.

Oh, my Shashank Redemption! What are you doing? No room sharing!

DON'T GO AWAY WATCH THE END CREDITS TOO

Can I gift you something?

For this gift, I'm giving you both a return gift.

Double bonanza!

There are only two things I dislike in this world.

One, my ex Caprice...

-Two, letting you live in peace. -No.

No, no, no...

Help me! I can't take this shit!

Baby, you freaking witch!

Greetings, gentlewomen!

Wow! Mazaretta!

This isn't Mazaretta or Margarita! This is Lambo-Bikini.

Oh! My bad!

-You guys need a lift? -Why are you offering?

A to Z, any service at your seats.

-Baby. -Happy.

-Son of a beach! -Fast and Furious!

I need to buy a three-seater the next time.

What happened to the money?

AMMA DONGA MULTI-SPECIALITY HOSPITAL

You'll be alright, Mom! I'll make sure of it.

My dear sisters!

Mother!

Brother, hurry up! Let's eat before the biryani gets cold.

-Leave. -Oh, no! I better flee.

-Come on, Brother. -Be seated, Brother.

Shall I feed it to you all?

Stop it, Brother!

-The bomb was placed five years ago! -I checked the reviews.

-Do you think it will go off? -Of course.

SIX FAITHFUL WIVES

Hello, Agents Roger and Federer!

Welcome to Theguva!

The details of your first mission shall now be revealed to you.

The person in this photo is Rithwik Sodhi.

He, at present, is imprisoned in the co-education jail.

Do it twice like that.

You need to help him escape from the prison. Simple.

By the way, this device will...

HEY CHINTU DOESN'T YOUR GUN FIRE QUICKLY?

Do you know how to drive?

I'm sorry. I was in the same mood.

They felt like that, and they made it...

WEAPON SALE

KANCHE, MAGADHEERA, ROCKY BALBOA

-Bye. -It's Satya's birthday.

-It's also DOP Suresh's birthday. -They still didn't get a cake.

-It's on the way. -She's been saying that since morning.

Happy birthday!

Dear, enough of singing. Let's get you to the hospital.

Okay.

Why is this guy here?