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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,873 --> 00:00:05,277 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:22,077 Look at us, walking to school. 3 00:00:22,077 --> 00:00:24,081 Walking so fast. A little too fast. 4 00:00:24,081 --> 00:00:25,618 - Let's slow down. - Thank you. 5 00:00:25,718 --> 00:00:28,323 Sorry, I'm just so excited to be working at your school today. 6 00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,193 Helping out in the front office. 7 00:00:30,294 --> 00:00:32,498 Doing my once-a-year parent volunteering. 8 00:00:32,498 --> 00:00:35,170 Once a year seems like one too many times, if you ask me. 9 00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:36,707 It's important to help out. 10 00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:39,345 And also, they make you feel really bad if you don't do it. 11 00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:41,216 But I like it. Hanging out in the office, 12 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,220 copying, stapling, officing. 13 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,990 Hey, we should have a little secret code 14 00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:46,226 to say hi to each other. 15 00:00:46,226 --> 00:00:47,796 - We could wave, like this. - Okay. 16 00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:50,300 Very secret. You sure you're not CIA? 17 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,639 Ugh, I wish Mom could be at school all the time. 18 00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:55,010 Wait, Mom, how many grades would you have to flunk 19 00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:56,246 to be back in my grade? 20 00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:59,118 - I don't know. Thirty? - Okay, get on it. 21 00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:00,989 Linda, good morning. 22 00:01:00,989 --> 00:01:02,525 Good morning to you, Ms. Selbo. 23 00:01:02,659 --> 00:01:05,130 Welcome back to the nerve center of the school. 24 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,167 Or nerd center, with some of these kids. 25 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,338 - Ha! Aw, nerds. - Yeah. 26 00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:11,342 Anyway, today, I would love your help 27 00:01:11,442 --> 00:01:13,213 - stuffing these envelopes. - All right. 28 00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:15,384 - You need me to copy anything? - No, that's okay. 29 00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:17,254 The last time you volunteered here, you-- 30 00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:19,392 Well, you're kind of a hard button pusher. 31 00:01:19,492 --> 00:01:21,095 - (banging) - Two. Zero. Copy. 32 00:01:21,095 --> 00:01:22,732 Yeah, they just popped right off. 33 00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:24,101 - Those buttons. - Not really. 34 00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:25,505 And, of course, if you want any coffee 35 00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:27,274 from the teachers' lounge, help yourself. 36 00:01:27,274 --> 00:01:29,412 Before Coach Blevins fills up his 37 00:01:29,412 --> 00:01:31,717 "everybody look at me" huge thermos. 38 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,554 Ooh, teachers' lounge coffee. 39 00:01:33,554 --> 00:01:34,923 - Yum. - Well... 40 00:01:35,023 --> 00:01:36,894 So yeah, I'm volunteering today. 41 00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:39,833 - That's great. I'm not. - (laughs nervously) 42 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:40,802 (humming) 43 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,006 MS. SELBO: And you think Louise Belcher stole it? 44 00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:44,375 - What? - FROND: Yes, I do. 45 00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,381 I can't prove she stole the toy. I just know she did. 46 00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:49,285 It's so Louise to take a-- what's it called?-- 47 00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,724 the thingy you mash and it shoots up like a missile. 48 00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,259 MS. SELBO: A mash missile? 49 00:01:53,259 --> 00:01:55,999 LINDA: My Louise, a thief? Not my Louise. 50 00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:59,271 Maybe my Louise. No, no. Not my Louise. 51 00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:01,009 Well, I'm off to my counseling seminar. 52 00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:02,144 It's on executive function. 53 00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:03,380 And it's a luncheon. 54 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,017 It's an executive function luncheon. 55 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,021 - Gotcha. - But when I'm back this afternoon, 56 00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:09,559 I'll skillfully question Louise, she'll confess, 57 00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:11,462 and then we can move on with our lives. 58 00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,668 - What if she doesn't confess? - She will 'cause she did it. 59 00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:15,404 And if she doesn't, she still did it. 60 00:02:15,404 --> 00:02:17,174 'Cause I can't file away this incident report 61 00:02:17,274 --> 00:02:18,544 until I have a name. 62 00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:20,380 Oh, and I put the incident report in this thing. 63 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,752 Did you know we had these? With the little string? 64 00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:24,155 They're fun. 65 00:02:24,155 --> 00:02:26,059 Hey, Bob, I was at the pie place, 66 00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:28,430 Just One of the Pies, and they had a promotion 67 00:02:28,564 --> 00:02:29,966 where people put their business card in a bowl, 68 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,438 and then they pick one and the winner gets a free lunch. 69 00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:34,308 - You should do that. - Uh, yeah. Maybe. 70 00:02:34,308 --> 00:02:35,812 I could be the first to enter. 71 00:02:35,812 --> 00:02:38,951 Is this your business card that you hand out to people? 72 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,055 Yeah, I mean... it's a little old. 73 00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,759 You don't like it? What's the matter with it? 74 00:02:42,759 --> 00:02:45,063 Well, it says "The Handy Hubby." 75 00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:46,600 And "Hubby" is crossed out. 76 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,305 - So it just says "The Handy." - Yeah, well, I was married 77 00:02:49,305 --> 00:02:51,543 when I had those made, then I wasn't. 78 00:02:51,543 --> 00:02:53,480 And-and also, I can't read your phone number. 79 00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:55,083 Yeah, 'cause I changed my phone number 80 00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,388 and I wrote in a new one, but the pen was smudgy. 81 00:02:57,388 --> 00:02:59,358 You wrote your new number on every card? 82 00:02:59,358 --> 00:03:00,795 Well, I'm not gonna get them reprinted. 83 00:03:00,795 --> 00:03:02,297 We're not all millionaires, Bob. 84 00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:04,569 I mean, Teddy, I don't think you want a card 85 00:03:04,569 --> 00:03:07,742 that says "The Handy" and then a phone number written in pen. 86 00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:10,113 - It may be time to get new cards. - It is? 87 00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:12,117 I think they're not expensive nowadays. 88 00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:13,353 You could probably do it online. 89 00:03:13,453 --> 00:03:14,990 Let's do it! You got your laptop? 90 00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:17,261 Oh, I didn't know I was gonna be involved. 91 00:03:17,361 --> 00:03:19,331 I need you, Bob. I need your artistic eyes. 92 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,768 Plus you can help me not get hacked. 93 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,806 - Why would you get hacked? - I don't know. 94 00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,810 Oh, wait, it's your laptop. You'd be getting hacked. 95 00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:27,749 - So, are you gonna go get it, or what? - Oh, my God. 96 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,189 LINDA: Frond's already decided Louise stole that kid's toy. 97 00:03:31,189 --> 00:03:32,458 But did she? 98 00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:34,462 Mmm. That is a good-tasting envelope. 99 00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:36,567 Psst. Hey, Mom. Remember? Our code? 100 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,604 - This means I'm saying hi to you. - Hi, Tina. 101 00:03:38,604 --> 00:03:40,508 I'm going to the nurse's office for a Band-Aid. 102 00:03:40,608 --> 00:03:42,812 I scraped my knee. Skirt life, am I right? 103 00:03:42,812 --> 00:03:44,181 Mm-hmm. Oh. 104 00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:45,317 - Uh, back in a sec. - Okay. 105 00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,520 - (quietly): Tina. - Yeah? 106 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,123 Listen. I got a question about Louise. 107 00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:49,458 - Hey, guys. - (shushing) 108 00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:51,062 Shh. We're whispering for some reason. 109 00:03:51,162 --> 00:03:53,166 Fun. Need anything from the bathroom? 110 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,301 Up-bup-bup. Hold on. 111 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,872 I can give you maybe 30 seconds. 112 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,544 Do you two know anything about a mash missile getting stolen? 113 00:03:58,544 --> 00:04:01,115 Oh, yeah. Jason Jeffers' Burobu mash missile. 114 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,687 Wait, Burobu? Like that thing Louise is into? 115 00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:05,457 I thought those were only trading cards. 116 00:04:05,558 --> 00:04:06,794 I think they make different toys, too. 117 00:04:06,794 --> 00:04:08,664 And they might have their own line of salsa. 118 00:04:08,764 --> 00:04:11,369 Oh, boy. Do you think Louise stole it? 119 00:04:11,369 --> 00:04:14,008 - What? No. - Yeah. No, right? 120 00:04:14,008 --> 00:04:16,312 Yeah, probably not. But, I mean... 121 00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:18,183 She is a mischievous little minx. 122 00:04:18,183 --> 00:04:20,086 - Yeah. - But no. Probably. 123 00:04:20,187 --> 00:04:21,322 So... you haven't, 124 00:04:21,322 --> 00:04:23,293 like, seen her with a mash missile 125 00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:25,330 or hiding a mash missile or anything? 126 00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:26,767 This is definitely past 30 seconds. 127 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,537 I mean, this morning, Gene and I were with Louise 128 00:04:28,671 --> 00:04:30,207 at her locker, and it was pretty empty. 129 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:31,375 And so was her backpack. 130 00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:33,113 That's good, that's good. 131 00:04:33,113 --> 00:04:34,583 Her backpack was really empty. 132 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:37,020 Like, man, fourth graders do not get a lot of homework. 133 00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:38,958 - It's coming, fourth graders. It's coming. - (groaning softly) 134 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:42,131 - Okay. Kids, go. Gene, go. - I already did a little. 135 00:04:42,131 --> 00:04:43,466 Knock, knock. 136 00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:45,838 Hi. I need to borrow Louise a sec. 137 00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:48,644 I just need to give her her... lucky pencil. 138 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:50,748 You don't have to talk about it this much. 139 00:04:50,848 --> 00:04:53,086 Let's see this quote, unquote lucky pencil. 140 00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:54,488 Listen, I don't know 141 00:04:54,488 --> 00:04:55,925 how else to ask this, so I'm just gonna ask. 142 00:04:56,025 --> 00:04:58,496 Jason Jeffers' Burobu mash missile that went missing. 143 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,467 - You didn't take it, did you? - What? No. 144 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,603 - You're sure? - Yes. 145 00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:03,574 Okay. Then I... believe you. 146 00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:05,578 Well, you should believe me. 147 00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:06,947 I'm also slightly hurt you'd think 148 00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:08,449 I'd do that in the first place. 149 00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:10,855 I mean, I'm a spunky kid, but a thief? No, ma'am. 150 00:05:10,855 --> 00:05:13,961 I know, I know. And I was also a spunky kid. 151 00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:17,201 I, uh, borrowed stuff from stores, you know? 152 00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:18,671 I set a few fires, I get it. 153 00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:21,777 - Geez, Mom. - Not big fires. Just small ones. 154 00:05:21,777 --> 00:05:23,647 Well, one got big. But it started small. 155 00:05:23,747 --> 00:05:26,352 The point is, I understand. You can tell me if you did it. 156 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,989 Mom. I'm telling you I didn't do it. 157 00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:30,427 Even though it was Burobu, your favorite thing. 158 00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,532 Yeah, I love Burobu. Cards. 159 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,769 But the Burobu mash missile is duh-umb. 160 00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:37,542 It has nothing to do with the cards or the world. 161 00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:39,746 Right. Okay. Too dumb for you to steal. 162 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,950 Wait, why are you asking me this, Mom? 163 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,486 Does someone think I did it? 164 00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:46,627 No. No. No. No. No. 165 00:05:46,627 --> 00:05:48,531 Okay, you just said "no" so many times. 166 00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,501 - I love you. Goodbye. - Hey, you're pushing. 167 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,273 - You're pushing - Go, go-- Hi! She's back. 168 00:05:53,273 --> 00:05:54,910 So Louise is innocent. 169 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:57,515 But Mr. Frond is gonna try and pin it on her anyway. 170 00:05:57,615 --> 00:05:59,686 Unless... I can prove she's innocent 171 00:05:59,786 --> 00:06:01,389 before Mr. Frond comes back. 172 00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:02,892 Okay. Yeah, that could work. 173 00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:05,063 - You can do this. - Thank you for the encouragement. 174 00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:11,475 BOB: So, Mr. Frond thinks Louise stole the mash missile thing? 175 00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:12,812 - Yeah. - BOB: But she didn't. 176 00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:13,847 And I'm gonna prove it. 177 00:06:13,847 --> 00:06:15,551 Right. You keep saying that like that. 178 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:17,287 But also, it's definitely something 179 00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:18,924 she could have done, right? 180 00:06:18,924 --> 00:06:20,093 No. 181 00:06:20,193 --> 00:06:21,295 I mean, maybe? 182 00:06:21,295 --> 00:06:23,199 Oh, definitely maybe. But no. 183 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:25,671 You said it was a Burobu thing, right? She loves Burobu. 184 00:06:25,771 --> 00:06:27,609 Yeah, but she doesn't like this Burobu thing. 185 00:06:27,609 --> 00:06:28,978 And Tina and Gene said 186 00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:30,781 that the mash missile wasn't in her locker. 187 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,785 And it wasn't in her backpack, Mr. Quick to Judge. 188 00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:34,556 You know, we're lucky I'm working here today. 189 00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:36,058 I can crack the case from the inside. 190 00:06:36,058 --> 00:06:39,164 - Um... - Now I just need to get rid of Ms. Selbo. 191 00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,100 That doesn't sound good. 192 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,672 Shh. It's fine. Love you. We never spoke. Goodbye. 193 00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:44,709 Back from the teachers' lounge again. 194 00:06:44,809 --> 00:06:46,613 Mmm, coffee, right? So brown. 195 00:06:46,713 --> 00:06:48,316 You sure are staying caffeinated. 196 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,819 Yeah, um, to be honest, 197 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,659 Ms. Selbo, you're looking a little groggy. 198 00:06:52,659 --> 00:06:54,963 - Oh. That's fun to hear. - Yeah. 199 00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:57,635 I guess I could use some terrible coffee. 200 00:06:57,635 --> 00:06:59,471 Mm-hmm. I'll-I'll watch your desk. 201 00:06:59,572 --> 00:07:01,576 - Okay. - No rush. Take your time. 202 00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:04,081 Drink it there. It's a nice atmosphere. 203 00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:06,553 - Is it? - Uh-huh. (tittering) 204 00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:09,124 Oh, this is a good envelope. 205 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:13,299 "Burobu mash missile belonging to Jason Jeffers..." Mm. 206 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,571 "Last Tuesday, recess, on the grass, 207 00:07:15,571 --> 00:07:17,207 put it down and it was gone." 208 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,544 - GENE: Hey, Mom. - Ah! 209 00:07:18,644 --> 00:07:19,713 I just found something I wanted to give you. 210 00:07:19,713 --> 00:07:21,650 - Okay, what? - (blowing kiss) 211 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,754 Yeah, yeah. You, too. "Possible suspects-- 212 00:07:23,854 --> 00:07:26,459 parentheses-- the usual baddies." 213 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,829 Some names. 214 00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:29,899 "Louise hearts Burobu equals Louise did it." 215 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,505 - Unbelievable. - Ooh, that's gritty. 216 00:07:32,605 --> 00:07:34,174 - Gritty coffee. - Crap. 217 00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:36,947 Oh, no (grunting) 218 00:07:37,047 --> 00:07:38,684 And stuff. And st-- 219 00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,554 Oh, stuff. Oh, hey, you're back. 220 00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:42,792 Yup. Am I perky enough for you now? 221 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:43,827 Yeah, sure. 222 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:45,665 Okay, I've got some suspects. 223 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,467 I need to start eliminating some names. 224 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,804 How do I do that? 225 00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:49,906 Oh! Ms. Selbo? 226 00:07:49,906 --> 00:07:51,543 You know what I've always wanted to see? 227 00:07:51,543 --> 00:07:54,014 Uh, the list of who's absent and when. 228 00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:55,116 You want to see that? 229 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:57,622 Yeah. I love all that behind-the-scenes stuff. 230 00:07:57,722 --> 00:08:00,928 - This? Y-You want to see this? - Yeah. Wow. 231 00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:04,134 There's that name. And there's that name. 232 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:05,003 So interesting. 233 00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:06,773 You're kind of bumming me out, Linda. 234 00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:10,013 Have you never seen interesting things before? 235 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:11,082 Oh, this looks easy. 236 00:08:11,182 --> 00:08:13,787 Just got to type in my info. Ugh, my name. 237 00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:15,624 I don't have a good business card name. 238 00:08:15,624 --> 00:08:17,060 What do you mean "good business card name"? 239 00:08:17,194 --> 00:08:19,799 You got a great business card name. Bob Burger? 240 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,435 It's not Bob-- (sighs) Oh, my God. 241 00:08:21,536 --> 00:08:22,572 Do you want to change your name? 242 00:08:22,572 --> 00:08:24,008 I don't know. 243 00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:25,745 I bet I'd get more business if my name was, like, 244 00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,949 - Jim Thunder or something. - I'd hire Jim Thunder. 245 00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:30,721 Maybe not to do my taxes. Or do heart surgery. 246 00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:32,324 - But anything else. - BOB: Mmm. 247 00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:35,130 Although, would Jim Thunder be a handyman or something cooler? 248 00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:37,134 Like a bounty hunter. So maybe I could be 249 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,804 - Jim Thunder Bounty Hunter. - (cell phone buzzing) 250 00:08:38,804 --> 00:08:40,240 - I don't see why not. - Hi, Lin. 251 00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,812 The kids on Frond's incident report that aren't Louise, 252 00:08:42,812 --> 00:08:45,016 they were either absent or they have an alibi. 253 00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:46,953 You're allowed to look at the incident report? 254 00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:48,924 Probably not. But one kid was out sick, 255 00:08:48,924 --> 00:08:51,663 one kid was at a club meeting, another kid had a sports thing. 256 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:52,999 What? How do you know all that? 257 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:53,967 It's all written down. 258 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,705 Also, if Ms. Selbo ever asks you, 259 00:08:55,705 --> 00:08:57,742 I really love filing systems and lists of names. 260 00:08:57,742 --> 00:09:00,246 - Okay... - I'm at a dead end here, Bob. 261 00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:03,319 Well, maybe it's somebody else that liked Burobu? 262 00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:04,723 Or... it's Louise. 263 00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:06,325 Yes. Right, good idea. 264 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:07,995 Not Louise. But yes. Burobu people. 265 00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,033 Okay, I got to go save our kid. Bye. 266 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,538 All right, bye. I'm doing important stuff, too. 267 00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:15,210 Slow, no bouncies, please and thank you. 268 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,980 (groans) Got all of that one. 269 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:18,584 - Attaboy, Rudes! - (Rudy panting) 270 00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,988 Hi, kids. Uh, Louise, let's, uh, talk. 271 00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:23,192 - Okay. - Listen, I've been trying to clear you, 272 00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:25,765 but all I'm finding is kids with perfect alibis. 273 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,000 Who else likes Burobu? 274 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,737 Mom, you're asking the wrong question. 275 00:09:28,837 --> 00:09:31,308 The mash missile is offensive to Burobu fans. 276 00:09:31,308 --> 00:09:32,177 We hate that thing. 277 00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,749 Oh. Maybe a Burobu kid destroyed it. 278 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:37,320 Maybe they didn't want it. They wanted to murder it. 279 00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,224 I don't know, man. I can't think of anyone 280 00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:41,630 who would want to waste their time on that cheap, 281 00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:43,433 stupid, sticky, stinking hunk o' junk. 282 00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:45,638 - COACH BLEVINS: Louise, you're up. - Mom, I got to go. 283 00:09:45,638 --> 00:09:48,242 I have a ball to kick. Also, I'm innocent, by the way. 284 00:09:48,242 --> 00:09:49,813 Oh, yeah, that is a big thermos. 285 00:09:49,813 --> 00:09:52,618 - What? - Oh, nothing. Play balls! 286 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,188 Eh, so many options. 287 00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:56,760 Yeah, I want to say, too many? You know what? 288 00:09:56,893 --> 00:09:58,229 A mechanic gave me a card one time. 289 00:09:58,229 --> 00:10:00,500 He was not a good mechanic, but the card was great. 290 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,106 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm gonna go get it. 291 00:10:03,106 --> 00:10:05,043 Okay, you want to teach me how to cook 292 00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:06,813 - in case someone comes in? - What? No. 293 00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:08,316 But if they say they need food right now, 294 00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:10,487 - I'll go in there and give it a shot? - Teddy, no. 295 00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,491 Might as well give me your apron, just in case. 296 00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:13,760 No. No, thank you. 297 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,499 Ha. Got it. Mm-hmm. 298 00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:17,768 Hmm. 299 00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,104 Tina and Gene said the mash missile 300 00:10:19,104 --> 00:10:20,340 wasn't in her locker. 301 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,477 And it wasn't in her backpack, Mr. Quick to Judge. 302 00:10:22,477 --> 00:10:23,647 (Linda's voice echoing) 303 00:10:23,647 --> 00:10:25,551 I mean, I guess I could just peek 304 00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:27,187 in Louise's room since I'm here. 305 00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:31,563 Just tilting the door open. Not even going in. 306 00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:33,032 Maybe going in a step or two. 307 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:36,272 Please don't let darts hit me in the face. Huh. 308 00:10:36,272 --> 00:10:38,977 LINDA: Okay, checking out the incident report again. 309 00:10:39,111 --> 00:10:40,180 Stuff, stuff, stuff. 310 00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:42,952 Victim statement. Jason went to lunch. 311 00:10:43,052 --> 00:10:45,123 He ate his peanut butter and honey sandwich. 312 00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:47,027 Then he took his toy out of his locker, 313 00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:49,398 brought it to recess, put it down on the grass, 314 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,101 stepped away, and then it was gone. 315 00:10:51,101 --> 00:10:52,204 Wait a minute. 316 00:10:52,204 --> 00:10:54,208 Peanut butter and honey sandwich. 317 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,078 Sticky fingers. Sticky. 318 00:10:56,178 --> 00:10:58,349 I can't think of anyone who would want to waste their time 319 00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,453 on that cheap, stupid, sticky, stinking hunk o' junk. 320 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,257 (echoing): Sticky, sticky, sticky... 321 00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:04,294 LINDA: How would she know the toy was sticky? 322 00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:05,865 - (gasps) Hi, Bob. - Hey. 323 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,702 So, the thing that went missing was a Burobu 324 00:11:07,702 --> 00:11:08,937 - mash missile, right? - Yeah. 325 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:10,875 Well, I went into Louise's room. 326 00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:12,745 Did a giant ball roll down and crush you? 327 00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:14,348 Surprisingly, no. 328 00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:16,085 But on her desk was a Burobu Magazine, 329 00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:17,454 and the one page 330 00:11:17,454 --> 00:11:18,790 that was dog-eared in it 331 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:20,159 had a picture of the Burobu mash missile. 332 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:22,397 Oh, crap. And she said "sticky" to me. 333 00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:23,867 - Huh? - It's a long story, 334 00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:25,771 - but it's bad news for Louise. - BOTH: Crap. 335 00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:28,075 Hey, did you ask Linda about the whole Jim Thunder thing? 336 00:11:28,075 --> 00:11:30,046 You're not a Jim Thunder, Teddy. 337 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,724 - Crap. Crap. Crap. - Oh, no, Linda, what's wrong? 338 00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:37,595 Uh, that was my husband. 339 00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:39,999 His... hat fell off. 340 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,605 - Oh. - Yeah. Husbands with their hats. 341 00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:43,907 Stay single, I say. 342 00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:46,212 Well, then. I'm gonna eat my leftover soup. 343 00:11:46,212 --> 00:11:48,850 - Aw. - It's not sad. It's just my lunch. 344 00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:51,222 Oh, is it lunchtime? For the kids, too? 345 00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:52,190 It is. 346 00:11:52,357 --> 00:11:54,027 They need to eat every day, as it turns out. 347 00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:56,498 Be right back. Enjoy your not sad leftover soup. 348 00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,702 It's just regular soup. 349 00:11:57,702 --> 00:11:59,872 - Hey, kids. - Oh, hey, Mom. 350 00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:02,277 I have been saving this seat for you for years. 351 00:12:02,377 --> 00:12:04,716 Would you guys mind if I spoke to Louise privately? 352 00:12:04,716 --> 00:12:06,418 - Okay. - (Gene and Tina grunt) 353 00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:07,688 - Is this good? - A little more. 354 00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:09,358 - (grunts) - She's here one day. 355 00:12:09,358 --> 00:12:10,293 Louise, look. 356 00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:11,963 Now would be a good time to tell me the truth 357 00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:13,466 about taking the mash missile. 358 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,301 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mom. 359 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,038 Why am I still being accused of this? 360 00:12:16,138 --> 00:12:17,775 And also, I told you the truth. 361 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,545 And you can tell it's the truth because it's the truth. 362 00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:22,585 Well, why'd you fold over the page in your Burobu Magazine 363 00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:23,887 with the mash missile on it? 364 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,591 Wait, how do you know about that? 365 00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:26,760 Did you search my room? 366 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,664 - No. Your father did. - What? 367 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:30,366 - Did he get booby-trapped? - He didn't, actually. 368 00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:32,203 - Must've been a malfunction. - Wait a minute. 369 00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,474 - This is a private conversation. - Sorry, sorry. 370 00:12:34,474 --> 00:12:36,045 - (both grunting) - First of all, 371 00:12:36,045 --> 00:12:37,548 I'm between booby traps right now. 372 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,684 Second of all, 373 00:12:38,784 --> 00:12:40,086 I folded that page because of an ad 374 00:12:40,186 --> 00:12:42,023 for the special Slug-i-cane collector's pack. 375 00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:43,560 Not because of a mash missile, 376 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:45,330 which I keep telling you I didn't steal. 377 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:48,069 It's getting less private, with all the shouting. 378 00:12:48,069 --> 00:12:49,772 I think we're running out of table here. 379 00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:51,375 - I'm half-cheeking it. - Okay, well. 380 00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:54,281 When you were in PE, you said the mash missile was sticky. 381 00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:56,285 Jason Jeffers ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich 382 00:12:56,285 --> 00:12:58,122 before he took the toy out of his locker. 383 00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,493 How would you know if it was sticky unless you took it? 384 00:13:00,594 --> 00:13:02,397 Because his hands are always sticky. 385 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,634 That's his thing. 386 00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,971 Kids in our class literally call him Sticky Sticky Jason. 387 00:13:06,071 --> 00:13:07,608 Louise, I can't tell if you're lying to me, 388 00:13:07,608 --> 00:13:10,581 because now I'm realizing you are really good at lying, 389 00:13:10,681 --> 00:13:11,850 better than I thought, 390 00:13:11,950 --> 00:13:13,085 and I thought you were pretty good at it. 391 00:13:13,185 --> 00:13:14,656 Okay, I think we're done here. 392 00:13:14,656 --> 00:13:16,091 Tina, Gene, storm off with me? 393 00:13:16,091 --> 00:13:17,628 - Oh. Um... - I mean, I was done anyway. 394 00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:20,133 Would the last few bites of my mac 'n' cheese cheer you up? 395 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,936 No. Yeah, maybe. 396 00:13:22,037 --> 00:13:24,509 Hi, Mrs. Belcher. Mac 'n' cheesing it, huh? 397 00:13:24,509 --> 00:13:25,343 Uh-huh. 398 00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:27,113 Everything okay? You look kind of down. 399 00:13:27,213 --> 00:13:28,316 Or maybe you're just looking down 400 00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:30,119 - 'cause I'm shorter than you. - (sighs) 401 00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:31,589 They think Louise stole the mash missile thing. 402 00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,094 - Oh, my. - But she's a good girl, right? 403 00:13:34,094 --> 00:13:35,864 I mean, she's complicated. 404 00:13:35,864 --> 00:13:38,302 It's just if she took it, I don't know where she put it. 405 00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:39,438 It's not in her room, 406 00:13:39,539 --> 00:13:41,108 and Tina and Gene said it's not in her backpack 407 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:42,712 - or her locker. - Which locker? 408 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:44,749 - What do you mean? - Louise has two lockers. 409 00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,185 Louise has two lockers? 410 00:13:46,185 --> 00:13:47,888 Yeah, her regular one, and then her Rudyville locker. 411 00:13:47,988 --> 00:13:49,692 She calls it that because it's near mine. 412 00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:50,994 Number 158, I want to say? 413 00:13:51,095 --> 00:13:52,297 - (bell ringing) - Ooh, I got to go. 414 00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,969 Louise, you sneaky double-locker-haver. 415 00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:56,639 TEDDY: It's okay. 416 00:13:56,639 --> 00:13:57,742 You built it up too much, maybe. 417 00:13:57,842 --> 00:13:58,810 No. It's nice. 418 00:13:58,810 --> 00:13:59,979 It's clean, simple. 419 00:14:00,079 --> 00:14:01,816 - Who wants simple? - Everybody? 420 00:14:01,816 --> 00:14:03,252 No. You know what I get from this? 421 00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:05,123 "I'm a boring mechanic, and I'm dead inside." 422 00:14:05,123 --> 00:14:06,492 You don't get that from this. 423 00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:09,197 I want a card that says, "Hey, world, check me out." 424 00:14:09,197 --> 00:14:11,402 ♪ There's a banana, that could be fun ♪ 425 00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,139 No banana. Teddy, that doesn't make any sense. 426 00:14:13,139 --> 00:14:14,876 ♪ Ooh, a lasso border ♪ 427 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:16,078 ♪ Or a sunglasses sun ♪ 428 00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:17,815 Why would someone have a lasso? 429 00:14:17,915 --> 00:14:19,251 Do cowboys have business cards? 430 00:14:19,251 --> 00:14:22,057 ♪ Yes, cowboys have business cards ♪ 431 00:14:22,157 --> 00:14:23,894 And Western-wear salespeople. 432 00:14:23,894 --> 00:14:26,131 Wonder Woman. Ted Lasso. Lassie. 433 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:29,271 ♪ You ridiculous person, less is more ♪ 434 00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:31,976 ♪ Don't be a kid in a candy store ♪ 435 00:14:31,976 --> 00:14:33,547 - Oh, there's candy. - Mm. 436 00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:36,318 ♪ They wouldn't call it a business card ♪ 437 00:14:36,318 --> 00:14:39,024 ♪ If they didn't want you to get busy ♪ 438 00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:43,065 ♪ Your choices are literally making me dizzy ♪ 439 00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:45,369 Also, I don't think you understand "get busy." 440 00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:47,908 - ♪ Teddy, what you want is simple ♪ - ♪ Snowman, hockey sticks ♪ 441 00:14:48,008 --> 00:14:50,881 - ♪ Elegant, clean ♪ - ♪ Dreidel, soccer ball, puppy dog ♪ 442 00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:54,387 - ♪ White space. ♪ - ♪ Yin-yang. ♪ 443 00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:57,093 - Hi. Can I order? - Oh, yeah. Sorry. 444 00:14:57,093 --> 00:14:58,964 LINDA: Mr. Frond's gonna be back soon. 445 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,703 I got to get inside Louise's second secret locker. 446 00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:03,038 But how do I do that? 447 00:15:03,038 --> 00:15:04,876 Do I get a crowbar? Or some dynamite? 448 00:15:04,876 --> 00:15:06,513 Oh. Or I look in there. 449 00:15:06,613 --> 00:15:08,750 Uh, Ms. Selbo, did you know, 450 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:11,188 uh, they're giving out free batteries? 451 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:13,392 In the teachers' lounge? Uh, right now. 452 00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:14,695 - Batteries? - Yup. 453 00:15:14,695 --> 00:15:17,066 Double-A, triple-A's, double-D's. 454 00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,436 She's buying it. 455 00:15:18,436 --> 00:15:20,641 Seems like an odd thing to be giving away 456 00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:21,810 in the teachers' lounge. 457 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,078 LINDA: Oh, crap. She's not buying it. 458 00:15:23,078 --> 00:15:24,481 Um, did I say batteries? 459 00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:27,320 I meant, uh, gift cards for, uh, places you like. 460 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,094 That doesn't make any sense, but I do have to pee. 461 00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:33,299 Of course you do. All that coffee? 462 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,971 - Take your time. - I will. Thank you, Linda. 463 00:15:35,971 --> 00:15:39,277 I love... that we use volunteers. 464 00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:42,885 (mumbling) 465 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,354 One-- 158! 466 00:15:44,454 --> 00:15:46,258 Huh. Don't be in Louise's secret locker. 467 00:15:46,358 --> 00:15:48,262 Don't be in Louise's secret locker. 468 00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:49,164 Oh, nuts. 469 00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:50,968 Louise, no. Oh, my face! 470 00:15:54,074 --> 00:15:56,411 - No, no, no, no. - LOUISE: Mom? 471 00:15:56,411 --> 00:15:58,349 - What are you doing? - Ah! What are you doing? 472 00:15:58,349 --> 00:16:00,988 Going to the bathroom. Oh, my God. 473 00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:02,558 Louise, you lied to me. 474 00:16:02,558 --> 00:16:04,361 Oh, my Louise. Oh, my baby. 475 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,365 What if you get suspended? You're branded. 476 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,369 It'll follow you everywhere. You'll never be president. 477 00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,841 - What? Wait, what? - Mama's gonna help you. 478 00:16:10,974 --> 00:16:12,143 No one's gonna know you took it 479 00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:13,379 and hid it in your secret locker. 480 00:16:13,379 --> 00:16:15,149 I mean, yeah, it was my secret locker. 481 00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:16,385 I don't use it anymore. 482 00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:18,189 I want to believe you, but I don't 483 00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:20,259 because you're so good at lying, so I am gonna eat it. 484 00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,930 That's what I'll do. I'll eat it. 485 00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,399 - Ooh. Sticky. - Mom. Mom. 486 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,403 (shushing) Mama's here. Mama's gonna help you. 487 00:16:25,537 --> 00:16:28,108 The executive function luncheon wasn't much of luncheon. 488 00:16:28,108 --> 00:16:30,213 Assorted melon and hummus is not lunch. 489 00:16:30,213 --> 00:16:31,616 (gasps) Put it back, put it back. 490 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,187 (sighs) Someone wrote "fart" on this locker. 491 00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:37,227 - Yup. They do that. - Let me see if that'll wipe off. 492 00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:39,264 - (all gasping) - That's on there for good. 493 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,268 Linda. Louise. What's going on? 494 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,671 Louise, why aren't you in class? 495 00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:44,374 - I was going to the bathroom... - I was just taking 496 00:16:44,374 --> 00:16:46,178 - a little walk. - ...and then I saw my mom-- 497 00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:47,615 Phillip, I forgot. Your mom called. 498 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:51,455 She, uh, really wanted to talk to you about... vitamins. 499 00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:52,691 (groans) Of course. 500 00:16:52,791 --> 00:16:56,064 That's all we talk about. I guess I'll go call her back. 501 00:16:56,064 --> 00:16:57,367 I don't understand. 502 00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,070 - Why would you--? - Follow me. 503 00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,473 (lock clicks) 504 00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:01,676 Why didn't you bust us? 505 00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:03,078 Even though I'm totally innocent. 506 00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:04,347 Right, right. Super innocent. 507 00:17:04,447 --> 00:17:05,817 - No, I know. - You know what? 508 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:09,224 That Louise is innocent, because I took the mash missile. 509 00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:10,527 - You took it? - Why? 510 00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,397 I was at my nephew's birthday party, 511 00:17:12,497 --> 00:17:15,571 and my nephew got that exact same Burobu mash missile. 512 00:17:15,571 --> 00:17:17,207 Not from me. I-I got him a scented candle. 513 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,610 That's a good present, right? 514 00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,714 - LINDA: Yeah, yeah. - LOUISE: Eh, sure. 515 00:17:20,714 --> 00:17:22,350 SELBO: But there is something wrong with those mash missiles 516 00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:23,853 because kid after kid got hit 517 00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:25,657 in the butter beans by that thing. 518 00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:27,761 Okay, that toy's actually starting to sound pretty fun. 519 00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,497 SELBO: Then, a couple days later, I'm playing solitaire 520 00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:31,468 on an absolute heater, when I hear 521 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,940 Jason in the hall showing off his new mash missile. 522 00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:35,343 I tried to warn him about it, 523 00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:36,946 and he said it was just for show and tell. 524 00:17:36,946 --> 00:17:38,850 He wasn't gonna launch it. But then later, 525 00:17:38,984 --> 00:17:40,554 that little punk brought it to recess 526 00:17:40,654 --> 00:17:42,357 and went to gather a bunch of kids. 527 00:17:42,457 --> 00:17:44,160 I was gonna yell at them a little bit. 528 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,664 I'm allowed to yell at the kids. 529 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,635 But I broke it. I sort of stepped on it. 530 00:17:47,635 --> 00:17:49,772 I might have been pumped up about the yelling. 531 00:17:49,772 --> 00:17:52,143 And I thought, "He's gonna think I did it on purpose," 532 00:17:52,143 --> 00:17:53,312 so I hid it under my shirt. 533 00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:55,651 And I ran, Linda. I ran. 534 00:17:55,651 --> 00:17:58,422 And I was like, "I just stole a toy from a child." 535 00:17:58,523 --> 00:18:01,361 I panicked and hid it in an unassigned locker. 536 00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,898 And you were just gonna let me fry for this? 537 00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,969 No, I was gonna move it somewhere... 538 00:18:05,069 --> 00:18:06,639 that I haven't figured out yet. 539 00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:08,409 Or make it explode? Somehow? 540 00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,212 Well, it's nice you didn't want the kids' butter beans 541 00:18:10,212 --> 00:18:11,448 to get hurt, Ms. Selbo, 542 00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:12,952 but you got to come clean to Mr. Frond. 543 00:18:13,052 --> 00:18:15,022 Hell no. I will lose my job. 544 00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:18,162 And I really like having a job. They pay me money. 545 00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:20,266 It's somewhere to go during the day. 546 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,970 Wait, what if we convinced Mr. Frond 547 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,339 that there wasn't a crime? 548 00:18:23,339 --> 00:18:25,142 Because if there's no crime, then there's no time. 549 00:18:25,142 --> 00:18:27,648 - I like it, I like it. - But I broke it. 550 00:18:27,748 --> 00:18:28,984 Actually, it's not broken. 551 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,954 It's just really, really cheap and awful. 552 00:18:30,954 --> 00:18:34,862 Look, you just got to click this in there. 553 00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:37,768 Louise, look at you. You little non-thieving smartie. 554 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:38,970 I know. 555 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,341 Okay, I am liking this mock-up. 556 00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:42,711 The little hammers, all around the outside. 557 00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:45,651 The cups-to-ounces conversion chart on the back. 558 00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:47,453 The tic-tac-toe board on the front. 559 00:18:47,554 --> 00:18:49,992 Yup. All the ideas are there. 560 00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,529 They-they all made it on there. 561 00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,365 You don't think it's too much, do you? 562 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,336 I do. I thought I made it very clear 563 00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,572 that I think it's way too much. 564 00:18:56,673 --> 00:18:58,442 Maybe you just don't have an artistic eye. 565 00:18:58,543 --> 00:19:01,281 You said you needed my artis-- You know what? Never mind. 566 00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:03,052 Plus a handyman does a lot of stuff. 567 00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:04,555 So I need a lot of stuff. 568 00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:07,093 Hi. Sorry to interrupt. I'm looking for a handyman. 569 00:19:07,193 --> 00:19:08,530 I'd love to take one of your cards. 570 00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:11,636 Oh, no! This is my disgusting old card that I hate now. 571 00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,807 Here, uh... imagine all this on here. 572 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:15,610 Or do you want to take a picture of the screen? 573 00:19:15,610 --> 00:19:18,717 (chuckles) Yeah, that's great. I'll call you. 574 00:19:18,817 --> 00:19:19,685 See, Bob? 575 00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,355 Ugh. Everyone is awful. 576 00:19:21,455 --> 00:19:23,459 Bob, I think I know what's going on here. 577 00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:26,064 You want to make your own card, put Bob Burger on it. 578 00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,168 I mean, a little. Not that name. 579 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,638 Well, if I buy 500 of mine, 580 00:19:29,638 --> 00:19:32,276 I get a discount on the next 500. Eh? 581 00:19:32,276 --> 00:19:34,481 - Uh, okay. - Ooh. Look at that cactus. 582 00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:36,719 - That'd be good for a guy who sells-- - (shushing) 583 00:19:36,719 --> 00:19:38,222 Yeah, it was in his locker. 584 00:19:38,322 --> 00:19:40,092 Right in his locker. The whole time. 585 00:19:40,092 --> 00:19:41,461 Isn't that right, Jason? 586 00:19:41,461 --> 00:19:43,298 No. I took it out of my locker. 587 00:19:43,298 --> 00:19:45,202 Did you? 'Cause it was right there. 588 00:19:45,202 --> 00:19:48,242 Yeah, Jason, you think someone knew your combination, 589 00:19:48,342 --> 00:19:49,912 opened your locker and put it in there? 590 00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,949 'Cause the only people who could do that are myself 591 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:55,456 and Ms. Selbo, and why on earth would we do such a thing? 592 00:19:55,557 --> 00:19:57,795 - Yeah. - Jason, don't touch that. Ew. 593 00:19:57,795 --> 00:20:00,667 And now there's jelly on Unpopular Parker. 594 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:01,869 Well, well, well. 595 00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,640 Does someone owe someone else 596 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,544 and their volunteer mother an apology? 597 00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:08,315 - Yeah. Mr. Frond does. Oh. - FROND: Sorry... 598 00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,152 - I accused-- - (bell ringing) 599 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,354 Oh, oh. There's the bell. 600 00:20:11,354 --> 00:20:12,524 Bye-bye. Everyone go now. 601 00:20:12,624 --> 00:20:15,196 Well, at least I didn't get fired. 602 00:20:15,196 --> 00:20:16,566 That's good. For me. 603 00:20:16,566 --> 00:20:18,469 And I didn't do time for a crime I didn't commit. 604 00:20:18,469 --> 00:20:20,306 Can save the time for my real crimes. 605 00:20:20,406 --> 00:20:22,477 - Just kidding. - Uh-oh. End of the day. 606 00:20:22,477 --> 00:20:24,414 I might not have stuffed some, 607 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,552 or most, or any of the envelopes. 608 00:20:26,552 --> 00:20:27,588 No, you did not. 609 00:20:27,688 --> 00:20:29,959 Louise, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. 610 00:20:29,959 --> 00:20:32,196 And then believed you. And then didn't believe you. 611 00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:33,733 It's okay. 612 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,771 You made up for it by how far you would have gone for me. 613 00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:37,106 Which does make me wonder 614 00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:38,777 how big of a crime you'd commit for your kids. 615 00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:42,417 - Should we test it out? - Yeah. Let's do insider trading. 616 00:20:42,417 --> 00:20:43,987 - No. - Outsider trading? 617 00:20:44,087 --> 00:20:45,489 - Okay. - ALL: Yay! 618 00:20:45,489 --> 00:20:48,663 ♪ When you wanna say hello ♪ 619 00:20:48,663 --> 00:20:51,869 ♪ But keep it on the down low ♪ 620 00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,441 ♪ Or blow a little kiss ♪ 621 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:56,679 ♪ She won't wanna miss ♪ 622 00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:58,482 ♪ Well, it's the Flappity Dappity ♪ 623 00:20:58,482 --> 00:21:00,119 ♪ The Flappity Dappity ♪ 624 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:01,622 ♪ Ooh, the Little Bitty Stinker ♪ 625 00:21:01,622 --> 00:21:03,325 ♪ The Little Bitty Stinker ♪ 626 00:21:03,325 --> 00:21:04,829 ♪ The Rubber Elbow Double Down ♪ 627 00:21:04,829 --> 00:21:06,599 ♪ The Rubber Elbow Double Down ♪ 628 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,003 - ♪ The ESP ♪ - ♪ Oh, the ESP ♪ 629 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,909 - ♪ The Fake Left, Go Right ♪ - ♪ The Fake Left, Go Right ♪ 630 00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,546 ♪ The Wiggle Waggle ♪ 631 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,282 - ♪ The Wiggle Waggle ♪ - Everybody now! 632 00:21:15,282 --> 00:21:16,853 ♪ Just the Pinkies and the Smoochicane. ♪ 633 00:21:16,853 --> 00:21:18,088 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 634 00:21:18,088 --> 00:21:19,725 and TOYOTA. 635 00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:20,961 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 636 00:21:21,011 --> 00:21:25,561 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49612

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