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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:23,816
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:27,361
NARRATOR: Space, the last place to go.
4
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,598
This is the voyage of the spaceship Wacky One.
5
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,774
B-12: No wait. That's a comet.
6
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,843
Hmm. We shall be around here some...
7
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,403
Oh, there we are.
8
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,141
Hey, hey there, space race fans.
9
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,507
I'm cybernetic race commentator R-Bot B-12,
10
00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:47,277
and welcome to a very big day here on spaceship Wacky One.
11
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:51,948
We travel here for the very first ever Interplanetary Mars 5000.
12
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,389
Our racers are star-struck and rearing to get started.
13
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,485
Or they would be if they weren't frozen like the icy bag of peas
14
00:00:57,559 --> 00:01:00,259
at the back of your freezer everyone's afraid to eat.
15
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,698
-(YAWNS) Good morning, y'all.
-(PETER SNORING)
16
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,033
Are we in Acapulco already?
17
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,168
I can hardly wait
to work on my tan.
18
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,503
Bleh, tan, schman.
19
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,969
This pale happening dude
is all about the night life.
20
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,437
Tiny want to fly fish.
21
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,666
Do you like fish, big fella?
22
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,581
No, flies.
23
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:16,982
-FLY: Help me!
-(MUNCHING)
24
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,554
Wait a moment.
This doesn't look like one of
25
00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:21,183
Wacky Enterprises' forced
family fun cruise ships.
26
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,649
It's much too clean,
and it doesn't smell of yak.
27
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,187
B-12: Good news, racers.
28
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:29,593
And you're on a spaceship on your way to a race on Mars.
29
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:30,786
ALL: Mars?
30
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,288
Wait, wait.
I don't understand.
31
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,300
Are you saying that our boss,
Mrs. Barnstorm,
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00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,532
the owner of the Wacky Race
International Franchise,
33
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:39,898
told us we were
going on an all-expense paid vacation to Mexico,
34
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,197
but instead kidnapped us,
35
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,069
froze us
and shipped us off to Mars?
36
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,837
And the very best news is we're almost there.
37
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,936
What do you mean,
"almost there"?
38
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-(LOUD EXPLOSION)-That should be us striking the Martian atmosphere now.
39
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,923
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
40
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:58,752
B-12: Oh, no. Major turbulence.
41
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,489
Psst, guys, major turbulence.
42
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,655
-Hmm?
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
43
00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:09,726
Well, obviously someone
handsome needs to take charge.
44
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,867
-Everyone, to battle stations.
-(BEEPING)
45
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,302
PETER: Laser shields
to maximum.
46
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,497
Reverse the polarity
of the flux transistor.
47
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,039
(BEEPING)
48
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,644
Darlin', there are
no battle stations.
49
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,906
You just babbling
technical-sounding gobbledygook
50
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,475
to make yourself sound cool.
51
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:23,582
(SIGHS) I know.
52
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,484
Then we're doomed.
(CRIES)
53
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,005
Muttley, old friend,
54
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:29,751
there's something I've always
wanted to say to you.
55
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,377
This is all your fault.
56
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,291
Yeah. Razzle-fazzle.
57
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:36,624
Maybe you should just fly to the ground in your space racers.
58
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,390
Our what?
59
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,529
The vehicles specially designed for you to race around Mars with.
60
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,225
They're down in the cargo bay.
61
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,127
Well, then.
All ship's personnel
62
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,269
proceed to the cargo bay
in a calm and orderly fashion.
63
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,965
(CLAMORING)
64
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:54,338
(YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
65
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,181
Huh?
66
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:04,886
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
67
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,692
(SNICKERING)
68
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,793
There's the hangar deck hatch.
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00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,927
Get out of my way.
70
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,263
-(HISSING)
-(CLANKING)
71
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:17,228
Peril, Penelope Pitstop. Peril.
72
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:19,727
(GASPS)
73
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,100
-Aah. Ooh.-See, I told you.
74
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,269
Oh, darlin'.
Are you all right?
75
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,407
Of course I am.
76
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,883
But I could use a hand.
77
00:03:27,943 --> 00:03:30,383
-It's locked.-There's a panel next to the hatch.
78
00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:34,245
All you have to do is key in the correct release code.
79
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,315
-(BEEPS)
-All right. What is it?
80
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,294
-I forget. -You forget?
81
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:41,262
I have been alone on this ship for two years, you know?
82
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:45,862
It's possible I've gone a bit to pieces.
83
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,756
Hey, have you gotten taller?
84
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,628
I.Q., figure out
the combination.
85
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:50,856
What? Why me?
86
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,931
Because you're a genius, duh!
87
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,470
What does that have
to do with it?
88
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:55,874
It's a nine-button panel.
89
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,566
Could be literally millions
of combinations.
90
00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:59,669
It's got nothing to do
with being smart.
91
00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,741
-I don't have any idea
what the code is. -(GRUNTS)
92
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,109
Just guess.
93
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,247
(SIGHS) Fine. Three.
I completely, randomly
94
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,013
-guess the number three.
Happy? -(SIGHS)
95
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,881
-(POWERING UP)
-(PANEL CHIMES)
96
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,489
Whoa. It worked.
I am a genius.
97
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,751
Get out of my way.
98
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,620
(SNICKERING)
99
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,592
PENELOPE: Oh, my
stars and gardens.
100
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,560
I think I'm in love.
101
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:26,930
B-12: Complete destruction of the Wacky Oneestimated in 15 seconds.
102
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,841
BELLA: I hope they fly
as good as they look.
103
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,542
Let's find out.
104
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:35,335
Twelve seconds to complete and total destruction.
105
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,539
C.A.R.: Good morning, boss. Miss me?
106
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,481
C.A.R., is that you?
107
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,217
C.A.R.: Of course, I wasn't going to let you have this much fun without me.
108
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,253
-Six seconds. -Hit it.
109
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,888
B-12: Four seconds. Three seconds.
110
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,664
Two seconds. One second.
111
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,793
Zero!
112
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,129
(EXPLOSION)
113
00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:55,934
Hold on, everyone.
114
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,526
Point your ships
away from the blast.
115
00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:58,867
Try to ride the shockwave.
116
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,272
Don't tell me
what to do, you...
117
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:05,905
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
118
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,083
C.A.R.: Surface contact in five meters.
119
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,612
Everyone, brace for landing.
120
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:10,976
PETER: Fire retro.
121
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,105
We're coming in fast!
122
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,449
-Too fast.
-Hold on.
123
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:18,854
(ALL SCREAMING)
124
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,119
DASTARDLY: Muttley,
did we make it?
125
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,188
(MUTTLEY MUMBLES)
126
00:05:23,258 --> 00:05:26,088
Each of the ships contains a custom environmental suit and comm system.
127
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,030
Who wants to
take a look around?
128
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,955
Mars, pretty.
129
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,831
It sure is, darlin'.
130
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:36,901
Just imagine,
we're the only living things for millions of miles.
131
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:41,580
(SPACESHIP WHIRRING)
132
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,641
You're late.
133
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:43,979
(EXCLAIMS)
134
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,314
Razzle, frazzle.
Razzle, frazzle.
135
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,049
Oh, um, hello.
Who might you be?
136
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,845
I am Grazagonort,
137
00:05:49,918 --> 00:05:52,418
all-conquering
High Coordinator of the Fifth Galactic Spiral.
138
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,686
And you are the
universally famous Wacky Racers
139
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,586
here to race my son Phlem.
140
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:01,288
Greet the talking
monkey things, Phlem.
141
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,701
(ALL GASP)
142
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,704
Hello.
143
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,567
Nice day for a walk.
144
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:09,895
(CHUCKLING)
145
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,470
So, how was your journey?
146
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,169
-(MEOWING)
-Would you care for a Martian snack?
147
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,741
Uh, no thank you, darlin'.
148
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,509
-Ew.
-Sandwich bad.
149
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:22,118
Mmm. Um, maybe later.
150
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,752
-Suit yourself.
-(MEOWS)
151
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:27,888
Anyway, Phlem wants to be
a famous galactic racer.
152
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,455
(CHUCKLING)
153
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,533
He's a bit of a sponge brain,
if you know what I mean.
154
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,902
So, I arranged
a nice easy race to get his career started.
155
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,162
Once around the planet.
156
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,400
You all against him.
157
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,565
And the loser gets shot
into a black hole.
158
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,143
Absolutely not.
159
00:06:41,202 --> 00:06:44,712
The monkey things don't
want to race, daddykins.
160
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,772
Nothing personal,
but we'd rather not.
161
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:50,181
Fine, then we'll just destroy
your planet and leave.
162
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,014
-(BEEPS)
-(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
163
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,909
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
164
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,181
So, race or planet go boom?
165
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,590
I'm good either way.
166
00:06:57,652 --> 00:07:01,662
-Then I guess we're racin'.
-(CATS MEOWING)
167
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,592
Hey, hey, space race fans.
168
00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:05,328
-Welcome to the start of an exciting race...
-(TEETH CHATTERING)
169
00:07:05,393 --> 00:07:08,603
...with the fate of the entire Earth in the balance.
170
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,202
Cool, huh?
171
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,134
On your mark.
172
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,869
Hey, he started before "go".
173
00:07:13,935 --> 00:07:17,135
What? You don't start
when someone says "on your mark"?
174
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,814
How primitive.
175
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:23,173
-(COUGHING)
-(MEOWING)
176
00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:31,915
Sorry, Phlem, old boy,
but I think Team Wacky is bringing home the gold today.
177
00:07:33,087 --> 00:07:34,917
Phlem, what's taking so long?
178
00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:39,359
Oh, daddykins.
The monkeys are getting the best of me, I'm afraid.
179
00:07:39,427 --> 00:07:41,297
We'll just see about that.
180
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:42,962
-(SLURPING)
-(MEOWING)
181
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:46,870
(BEEPING)
182
00:07:46,935 --> 00:07:51,935
Wow, this Mars atmosphere
is doing wonders for my skin.
183
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,210
DASTARDLY: What? Perfect,
how dare you, you cosmic klutz!
184
00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:57,246
Hey, what's happenin'?
185
00:07:57,312 --> 00:07:59,712
C.A.R.: We've been enveloped in an inertia-dampening transport field.
186
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,620
We're trapped like bats.
187
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,423
And it looks like most of the Wacky Team is out of the race.
188
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,786
And racer Phlem is back in the lead.
189
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:10,856
B-12: The race is now headed into the magnificent
190
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,094
Valles Marineris.
191
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,230
I'll show that alien amateur
192
00:08:15,296 --> 00:08:17,856
who's the champion
cheater around here.
193
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:20,231
Muttley, deploy the net.
194
00:08:20,301 --> 00:08:24,141
(SNICKERING)
195
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,814
(RUMBLING)
196
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,544
By golly, if I'm going to
save the Earth,
197
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,749
I might as well
look good doing it.
198
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,912
PETER: Uh-oh. Whoops.
199
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,781
Oh, drat.
200
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:40,850
And it looks like another racer is out of the competion.
201
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,438
(BEEPING)
202
00:08:46,260 --> 00:08:50,800
(ALL SCREAMING)
203
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,674
Thanks, daddykins.
204
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,573
Yeah, yeah. Just win this thing and let's get home.
205
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,235
(SLURPS)
206
00:08:57,305 --> 00:09:01,435
I'm never going to get
the smell of monkey out of the upholstery.
207
00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:04,679
Peter, old boy,
looks like it's all up to you.
208
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,724
Wow, bad day for Earth.
209
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:13,192
Oh, I don't think so.
210
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,093
(BEEPING)
211
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,555
(PETER GRUNTING)
212
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,857
Pretty good, earthling.
213
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,359
But avoiding the beams
is keeping you from beating Phlem
214
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,530
and the finish line
is just ahead.
215
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,569
Oh, goody-goody space drops.
216
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,335
-I'm going to win.
-(PETER SCREAMING)
217
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,173
Hello, fame and fortune.
218
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,938
Adios Earth.
219
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,578
Yes?
220
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,724
Hi, B-12 broadcasting live commentary on the race here.
221
00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:42,681
I was wondering if I could get an interview with you before you win the race
222
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,850
and doom all the people of Earth?
223
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,990
Oh, I don't know.
I'm kind of busy.
224
00:09:49,057 --> 00:09:51,927
Just a few words for your many fans out there.
225
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,232
Fans?
226
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,003
-I have fans? -Of course you do.
227
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,103
You can do conventions.
228
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,734
Really?
229
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,240
Well, maybe
just a quick interview.
230
00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:04,443
Great. Now, if you wouldn't mind turning off the engine
231
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:06,205
so we can hear you better.
232
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,843
Oh, sure.
233
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,009
(SHIP SCREECHES)
234
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:13,477
Phlem, what are you doing?
235
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:16,177
And Peter Perfect wins the race.
236
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,990
Saving planet Earth.
237
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,452
Phlem!
238
00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:23,991
Uh-oh, I think
I made a boo-boo.
239
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,857
Okay, you guys win.
240
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,456
I won't destroy Earth.
241
00:10:27,528 --> 00:10:29,528
I'll just shoot Phlem off
into a black hole and go home.
242
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:31,397
Boy, his mother is going
to be so mad at me.
243
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,495
Wait, if you would
give us all a ride home,
244
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,537
we'd be willing to
call the race a draw.
245
00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:37,203
Then nobody has to be
shot into anything.
246
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:38,811
Oh, all right.
247
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:41,143
At least it'll keep
your mother from giving me the evil eye.
248
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,238
All three of them.
249
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,109
Come on, let's get going.
250
00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:46,278
Well, all's well
that ends well.
251
00:10:46,347 --> 00:10:48,917
Thanks, daddykins.
252
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-Phlem, no.
-(BEEPS)
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-(ALL GASP)
-(MEOWS)
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-(GROANS) Drats, drats...
-(SNICKERING)
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00:11:00,738 --> 00:11:05,288
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