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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,253
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,530
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
4
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:28,864
Hey, hey, race fans.
5
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,829
Welcome to this week's
Wacky Race event.
6
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,068
I'm big Brick Crashman,
six-time Race Champion,
7
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,735
and your on-the-spot reporter
for live on-site coverage
8
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,814
of the Annual Cross-country
Pretzelhosen 500.
9
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,584
The race started
just moments ago
10
00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:45,083
and our competitors
should be passing below me any second now.
11
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,746
Hmm. They were
supposed to be...
12
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,524
-(HONKING)
-(METAL CRASHING)
13
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,322
Uh-oh. (SCREAMS)
14
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,224
(THUDDING)
15
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,586
I do declare.
What was that we just passed?
16
00:00:54,656 --> 00:00:57,086
I don't know, Penny.
Might have been a floating rock or something.
17
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,928
Boulders are not
arbitrarily buoyant, Perfect.
18
00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,004
I didn't say
they were buoyant.
19
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,702
I said they sometimes float.
20
00:01:02,764 --> 00:01:06,574
That's what "buoyant"
means, you puerile, pea-brained pretty boy!
21
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,243
Now, now, Dastardly dear.
22
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:11,612
A healthy competitive attitude
is no excuse for bad manners.
23
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,442
You said it, Penny.
24
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,238
Good sportsmanship
and courtesy are what professional racing...
25
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:18,649
Oh, how I despise
those gladsome goodniks.
26
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,452
They're so nice!
27
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:23,875
But nice doesn't win races,
nefariousness does.
28
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,451
-Isn't that right, Muttley?
-(SNICKERING)
29
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:31,320
(ENGINES RUMBLING)
30
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:32,561
(BELL DINGS)
31
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,196
Avast, ye road-hogging
landlubber.
32
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:38,603
Strike your colors and heave
over Thunderous Pass.
33
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,095
Or by the soggy bones
of Davy Jones
34
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,868
we'll send a brace
of lead into your keel.
35
00:01:43,939 --> 00:01:46,369
I'd like to oblige, Captain,
but I'm a bit busy at the moment.
36
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:49,781
Also, I have no idea
what you're saying.
37
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:53,754
Honey! Do you boys
mind if this little ol' country girl slip by?
38
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,024
Why sure, Penny.
39
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,982
It would be our sincere
pleasure, fair lady.
40
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,751
Arr...
41
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PENELOPE:
Why thank you, boys. Ta-ta.
42
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:04,993
Whoa! Nice one, Penny,
but I've got a trick up my sleeve, too!
43
00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:07,589
Time for The Turbo Terrific's
Terrific Turbo!
44
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,931
(WHOOSHING)
45
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:15,998
Ooh, love the accessories.
Wonder if they come in pink.
46
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,170
Yes, Bella?
47
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,909
Tiny, activate
the afterburners.
48
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,705
Are you sure, Bella?
49
00:02:22,777 --> 00:02:26,507
Of course I'm sure.
Who's got the brains in this outfit?
50
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,380
(LAUGHS) That's a good one.
51
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,790
-(FLAMES WHOOSHING)
-(TIRES SCREECH)
52
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,893
C.A.R, engage
Extreme Turbo Mode.
53
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,685
C.A.R: Turbo Mode engaged.
54
00:02:37,759 --> 00:02:40,829
This is the moment to place
my pernicious plan into play.
55
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:45,895
I will now call my cousin
and co-conspirator, Desdemona Dastardly.
56
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,797
(SCREAMS) Drat! Drat!
Drat! Drat! Drat!
57
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,510
(SNICKERING)
58
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,912
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
59
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,614
That wasn't funny.
60
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,676
(SCREAMS)
61
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:57,783
(SNICKERING)
62
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:02,075
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
63
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,418
Hello?
64
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,653
Cousin Desdemona,
65
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,548
are you presently
prepared to put
66
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,721
Operation Dick Dastardly's
Diabolical Delay of Penelope Pitstop
67
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,929
and Her Fatuous Friends
into action?
68
00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:15,132
Oh, I am ready to capture your
little racing friends if that is what you are meaning.
69
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,756
Then let the confabulation
commence.
70
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,801
-He talks funny.
-(CAT YOWLS)
71
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,697
Oh! Here they come now.
72
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,940
-Gary, activate the trap.
-(GRUNTS)
73
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,405
(TIRES SCREECHING)
74
00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,836
Huh? What are all these goats
doing in the road?
75
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,251
C.A.R: Collision Alert.
76
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,283
Automatic Goat Avoidance System engaged.
77
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,248
Uh-oh.
78
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,447
BELLA: Bleh!
79
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:43,288
(ALL SCREAM)
80
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,756
(CRASHING)
81
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,455
(BELLA SCREAMS)
82
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,396
Hmm. Like Mama always said,
83
00:03:48,463 --> 00:03:52,433
"Sometimes a true lady
needs to rise above the adversity before her."
84
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:55,999
Whoo-hoo!
85
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,070
That girl has pluck.
86
00:03:58,139 --> 00:04:01,289
I hate pluck. Gary...
87
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,754
PENELOPE:
Oh, my stars and garters!
88
00:04:05,814 --> 00:04:09,754
I think there are
some kind of explosions happening down there.
89
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,787
I'm trying to get
a better view.
90
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,892
-Huh?
-(TICKING)
91
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,863
Uh-oh.
92
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:19,923
I regret I have but
one life to give for sports entertainment!
93
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:23,662
Uh-oh.
94
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,330
(TIRES SCREECH)
95
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,199
Oh, muffins.
96
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:39,679
This could be a problem.
97
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,976
Dastardly?
98
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,188
What nefarious scheme
are you up to this time?
99
00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:46,391
Are you sure those cages will
hold them here long enough for me to win the race?
100
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,863
Nein.
101
00:04:47,922 --> 00:04:50,892
But it will long enough
for me to take them to my pretzel mine.
102
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,128
(NERVOUSLY)
But that's not part of plan
103
00:04:53,195 --> 00:04:55,925
Operation Dick Dastardly's
Diabolical Delay of Penelope Pitstop
104
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,496
and Her Fatuous Friends.
105
00:04:57,564 --> 00:05:02,204
-Gary?
-Oh!
106
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,739
-(SNICKERING)
-Oh!
107
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,405
(GROANS)
108
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,483
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
109
00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:11,884
My, what a lovely
little ol' view.
110
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,595
(HUMS TUNE)
111
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:27,289
This has the feeling of one of
Dastardly's little ol' tricks.
112
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:31,396
I'd best see if the others
are in any sort of difficulty.
113
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:34,014
(CAR ALARM BEEPS)
114
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,205
(CLANGING AND RATTLING)
115
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:42,983
Oh, woe is I!
Made captive by my own kin.
116
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,253
Hey, now.
Turn that frown upside down.
117
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,382
I'm sure Penelope will
find a way to help us.
118
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:51,088
Pitstop left us behind
and has probably won the race by now.
119
00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:55,722
Hello, prisoners. Are you
enjoying ming pretzels from mein pretzel mines?
120
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:59,990
Oh good. Rember,
your next work break is...
121
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,030
-Never! (LAUGHS)
-(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
122
00:06:02,097 --> 00:06:05,267
What is it you hope to gain
from forcing us to dig up your crunchy treats,
123
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,532
you evil... Evil... Doer?
124
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,801
How about my freedom!
125
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,970
My family has owned
these mines for generations.
126
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,279
My birthday cakes were pretzels.
127
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,711
My first bike was a pretzel.
128
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,077
My prom date was a pretzel!
129
00:06:19,147 --> 00:06:22,777
You doing my ming
means no unions and greater profits.
130
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:26,790
Profits I am going to spend
traveling the world.
131
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,263
Enjoying epicurean delights
132
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,693
and never, ever, ever, ever
seeing another
133
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,758
stinking Schwanheim pretzel!
134
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:37,828
My only regret is that
I have no one to share my new life with.
135
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,638
-Oh?
-(CRUNCHING)
136
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,102
Oh...
137
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,410
Well hello, little puppy.
138
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,112
Dastardly?
139
00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:49,575
You don't mind if
I borrow your little friend for a while, do you?
140
00:06:49,644 --> 00:06:52,784
Yes, I mind!
Muttley is my minion.
141
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:57,847
He is completely and utterly
loyal to me and me alone...
142
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,188
Drat.
143
00:07:00,255 --> 00:07:04,625
Aunty Desdemona is going to
show you the gastronomic delights of the world.
144
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,862
-Would you like that?
-Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
145
00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:09,428
-Gary, you stay
and guard the prisoners. -(BLEATS)
146
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:12,197
I want pretzel output
doubled by the time I return.
147
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,066
(AFFECTIONATELY)
Come along, puppy-wuppy.
148
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,704
-(SNICKERING)
-(GRUNTS)
149
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,311
Hmm. That gives me
a little ol' idea.
150
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:24,373
-(CLINKS)
-(ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS)
151
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:30,949
(METAL CLANKING)
152
00:07:31,019 --> 00:07:33,089
You know, being trapped here
wouldn't be nearly so bad
153
00:07:33,154 --> 00:07:37,434
if it weren't for them
sending us postcards! I can't take it anymore!
154
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:40,491
If only there was
a way out of this pernicious pretzel pit.
155
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,001
But there is not,
my captive cousin.
156
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:47,744
-Would anyone like some poi?
We brought a doggy bag. -(SNICKERING)
157
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:51,742
-What we want
is the sweet taste of freedom. -There is no escape.
158
00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:55,006
You will stay here
and dig pretzels forever...
159
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,905
-(THUDS)
-Oh...
160
00:07:56,978 --> 00:08:00,408
Hi, y'all. Sorry we're late.
Gary and I were having a little chat.
161
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:04,021
-Birdies?
Hello, little birdies. -(BIRDS TWEETING)
162
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,454
Would you like some pretzels?
163
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,560
It turns out that Gary was
feeling a little jealous
164
00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:10,663
of all the time Muttley was
spending with Desdemona
165
00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:12,685
and he wants her back
all to himself.
166
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,460
So I suggested
they take a little ol' trip, just the two of 'em.
167
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,059
Bye, Gary! Take care now.
168
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,071
-(SCREAMS)
-DESDEMONA: Whee!
169
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:20,973
(BLEATS RAPIDLY)
170
00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:23,335
-You speak Goat?
-I picked some up from my nanny.
171
00:08:23,404 --> 00:08:26,244
-Tiny knew you would save us!
-(CRACKING)
172
00:08:26,308 --> 00:08:29,408
Okay... Uh, sweetie?
All right, darling. Penelope needs to breathe.
173
00:08:29,477 --> 00:08:31,277
I know this
has been difficult,
174
00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:33,506
but in some ways,
I think it's been a really positive experience.
175
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:36,251
Brought us all
closer together. Like a family.
176
00:08:36,317 --> 00:08:39,617
-ALL: Aww...
-(MUTTLEY GRUNTS)
177
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,787
(GRUNTS) This is worse
than being a prisoner!
178
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:45,886
I don't have time for
this sentimental claptrap! I have a race to win.
179
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:50,959
Where did that Dastardly
set sail to?
180
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:55,273
-See you at
the finish line, suckers! -(TIRES SCREECH)
181
00:08:55,336 --> 00:08:58,236
(LAUGHS EVILLY) They'll never
catch me now.
182
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,635
(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)
183
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,579
-C.A.R Activate!
-C.A.R: Systems activated.
184
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:05,654
Let's roll!
185
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,252
(ENGINES RUMBLING)
186
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:12,016
(TIRES SCREECHING)
187
00:09:15,189 --> 00:09:16,859
This is Brick Crashman.
188
00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,694
If anyone finds this,
I've been lost in these mountains for months.
189
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,060
I'm using this rock
to record my final words.
190
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,500
-(BLEATING)
-Huh?
191
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,796
-Ah!
-(CRASHING)
192
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,268
Oh?
193
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,586
(ALL SCREAMING)
194
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,481
(LAUGHS)
195
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:40,214
That's the finish line.
I'm actually going to win!
196
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,850
Did you hear that, Muttley?
197
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:46,916
-Dick Dastardly is
finally going to win! -(GRUNTS)
198
00:09:48,222 --> 00:09:49,872
(SCREAMING)
199
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,231
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
200
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,646
What? No!
201
00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:07,544
Congratulations.
You won the race and the fabulous first prize.
202
00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:12,349
First prize? Oh! That means
I don't have to go back. No more pretzels ever!
203
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:15,453
No! No, it's not fair!
I should have won.
204
00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:17,917
-It's not yours, it's mine.
-The prize is mine, give it to me!
205
00:10:17,986 --> 00:10:22,656
And you are awarded
a lifetime supply of pretzels!
206
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:27,133
-What?
-Pretzels. Are you kidding me?
207
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:31,534
-What?
-(SCREAMS)
208
00:10:31,599 --> 00:10:33,469
-Anyone else hungry?
-Arr.
209
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,744
BELLA: I could go
for a nice blood sausage.
210
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,873
PETER: I'd kind of
like a pretzel.
211
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,438
(SNICKERING)
212
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:45,038
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