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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SNICKERING)
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Welcome race fans
to this week's Wacky Race.
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I'm Brick Crashman,
soaring above the cornfields of Iowa
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00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,570
for the Corn County 500.
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00:00:36,638 --> 00:00:38,938
BRICK: In the lead is Peter Perfect in the Turbo Terrific.
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Followed by Dick Dastardly in the Mean Machine.
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And Penelope Pitstop in the Compact Pussycat.
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00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:50,213
Bringing up the rear are Tiny and Bella in the Doom Buggy.
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(LAUGHS) Eat smokescreen,
you lugubrious lunkhead.
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00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,234
Gee, it sure gets
dark early here.
12
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,462
(TIRES SCREECHING)
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00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:02,698
On your right, darling.
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00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,333
Gosh, I should get
these headlights fixed.
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Perfect, the only thing worse
than your despicable driving,
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is this soporific scenery.
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Mile after mundane mile,
of boring cornfields.
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Fun fact, cornfields generates
spontaneous thunderstorms.
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BRICK: Spontaneous corn-fed
thunderstorms?
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I don't think,
that's a real thing.
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-(AIR WHOOSHING)
-(THUNDER)
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(SCREAMING)
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I stand corrected.
24
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I mean, fall corrected.
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Oh, the blimp!
Oh, the designer suit.
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(GROANS)
The celebrity. (SOBBING)
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-All this rain is making
the road slick. -(TIRES SCREECHING)
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And dark, very dark.
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This could be dangerous,
we should get out of the storm.
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I know a shortcut through
the cornfields. Follow me.
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PETER: I know this area,
like the back of my hand,
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which I cannot see.
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DASTARDLY:
Why are we following him?
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Whoops.
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DASTARDLY: Drat.
PENELOPE: Oh, my stars.
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(TINY EXCLAIMS)
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BELLA: Oh...
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Let me get that, Peter.
(BLOWS)
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Oh, morning already?
40
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,201
Sorry guys, I guess
my shortcut was more of a dead-end.
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I'll see if there's
any place nearby to fix the cars.
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PAUL: Of course there is.
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We have everything,
anyone could ever need,
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because you, my friends,
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are in the most perfect place
in the world,
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PerfectVille.
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♪ PerfectVille
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♪ It's perfect. ♪
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What was that?
50
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PerfectVille? Oh, no!
That's my hometown, we've gotta get away!
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-(EXCLAIMS)
-Well, well, well...
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Peter Perfect,
53
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,498
I was wondering if
you'd ever come back to town.
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Oh, hello, Paul.
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Y'all know each other?
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00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,297
Yeah, um,
everyone this is Paul.
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00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,910
My brother Paul,
this is everyone.
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It's perfectly swell
to meet you.
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00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,784
Here in PerfectVille,
the sun is always shinning,
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00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,513
and the birds
are always singing.
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(SNORING)
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I said the birds are
always singing.
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♪ PerfectVille
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♪ It's perfect. ♪
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Quite a mess
you made here, Peter.
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-It was an accident.
-Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
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After all, I'm used to
cleaning up your little messes.
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Aren't I, little brother?
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Yeah, I guess.
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(SNAPS FINGERS)
Antonio.
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00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,325
-Si. -(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
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00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,099
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
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00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,813
You have an Italian racecar
mechanic working in town?
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00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,775
I told you,
everything is perfect,
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in PerfectVille.
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♪ PerfectVille
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♪ It's perfect. ♪
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That really is weirding
me out.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,921
Except for Petey,
of course.
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Huh? That, that's not right.
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00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,828
Peter, perfect.
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Peter, perfect?
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00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,327
(LAUGHS)
85
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,968
Ooh, that's rich.
86
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,333
Well, we think he is.
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I'm sure you do.
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00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:59,644
But here in PerfectVille,
our standards are bit higher.
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♪ You see
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♪ In this town like no other there's no excuse
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DASTARDLY: ♪ For your brother
PAUL: ♪ Huh
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00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,878
♪ For things not all that truly straight and square
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♪ But though it seems a bit cliche
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♪ This has always been our way
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♪ Here's a song to show you just how much we care
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♪ In this town B's are F's
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♪ We settle only for the best
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♪ So, we study hard all day and all night long
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♪ In our town the streets all gleam
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♪ And are ridiculously clean
101
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(ALL SINGING)♪ The dogs all do their part to play along
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(TOILET FLUSHING)
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♪ The cats all wear tuxedos and never say mean things
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♪ Our cellphones are on vibrate
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♪ And never will they ring
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♪ We call our moms each Christmas
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♪ And on Hanukkah as well
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♪ It could be a bit more often
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♪ But hey, I think it's swell
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♪ In every street and shop and home
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♪ Every hair is nicely combed
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♪ And on fleak is just the swaggy way we say
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♪ Here in PerfectVille, nothing ever does go wrong
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♪ 'Cause here it's simply perfect
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♪ The absolutely perfect
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♪ The perfect will be perfect
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♪ To belong ♪
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One of the many reasons
Peter left
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was that he never really
quite fit in.
120
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,993
Really, Peter wasn't
perfect enough for this town?
121
00:05:26,061 --> 00:05:31,061
Well, obviously.
Let me show you the rest of the town.
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(SIGHS)
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This is perfectly pleasant
PerfectVille Park.
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Each blade of grass is
perfectly 1.2 inches long.
125
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-(SNIFFING)
-What are you doing, Penelope?
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Just stopping to smell
the roses.
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In PerfectVille,
the roses stop to smell us.
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(SNIFFING)
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(SIGHING)
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(SNIFFING)
131
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(SHRIEKING)
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Aha, transport. I'll steal
it and finish the race.
133
00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:02,831
-(LAUGHING)
-What is Dastardly doing on that lawnmower?
134
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,356
He's trying to win the race.
135
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,371
Cheating, bad.
136
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,674
We can't let Dastardly,
get away with that.
137
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(BANGING AND EXCLAIMING)
138
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,312
Those are your friends?
139
00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,577
Come on, Paul,
they're not all that bad.
140
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(LAUGHS)
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(SNICKERING)
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(SNICKERING)
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(CRYING)
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(SCREAMING)
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-Duck!
-(QUACKING)
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(EXCLAIMING)
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(SCREAMING)
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00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,483
Far from perfect, I'd say.
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(DUCKS QUACKING)
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00:06:54,382 --> 00:06:56,822
This is the crown jewel
of our town.
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My farm.
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Featuring PerfectVille's most
perfect cornfield.
153
00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:03,164
It's nice, I suppose.
154
00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:04,764
So regimented,
155
00:07:04,826 --> 00:07:07,596
it's like you've broken
the spirit of Mother Nature.
156
00:07:07,663 --> 00:07:12,433
Thank you. Each stalk of corn
is grown exactly six feet high and three feet apart.
157
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,270
Making it easier for
the shucking.
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00:07:15,336 --> 00:07:19,706
♪ It shucks. ♪
159
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,913
Ah! how did they get out here?
160
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,475
Oh, did somebody say
"sucking"?
161
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:25,954
No. "Shucking."
162
00:07:26,014 --> 00:07:29,324
It's when you remove
the corn's husk from the corncob.
163
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,293
Wow! That was fast.
164
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:33,852
I'm the PerfectVille
corn shucking champ.
165
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,061
You mean...
166
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,792
-Oh, no.
-A shucking competition?
167
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,158
-Just like a...
-Race?
168
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,457
(SNICKERING)
169
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:46,430
-Stand aside.
-Oh, my ear.
170
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,837
Hey, my cornfield!
My perfect cornfield.
171
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,437
(ENGINE RUNNING)
172
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,480
A Combine? That's cheating.
173
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:02,546
All's fair in love and corn.
174
00:08:02,617 --> 00:08:06,317
Peter, if you can't
stop your friends, I'll have to.
175
00:08:06,387 --> 00:08:08,457
Now see here you...
(EXCLAIMS)
176
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,561
(EXCLAIMS)
177
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,363
(GROANS)
178
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:15,095
Hm, something has seemed
to have jammed up the gears.
179
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,832
(GROANING)
180
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,127
Come on, work.
181
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,698
(GROANING)
182
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:26,705
Stop it!
183
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,643
Stop it, all of you.
184
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:33,180
You're just like Peter,
you're losers.
185
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,947
Big smelly losers!
186
00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:40,253
You've lost every race
you've ever been in
187
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:42,961
because you are
the worst cheat, ever!
188
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,333
Why are you wearing a hat?
189
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:47,461
Dogs don't wear hats.
You look ridiculous.
190
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,357
Huh?
191
00:08:48,429 --> 00:08:50,729
You two are just creepy
and weird.
192
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:51,767
Thank you.
193
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,273
It's not a compliment,
you freaks.
194
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:55,044
And what is with all the pink?
195
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:59,343
Nobody dresses like that.
You look like a giant flamingo.
196
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,676
Paul, it's one thing
to treat me badly,
197
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,881
but no one talks
to my friends like that.
198
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,553
Oh, please.
199
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,852
They're an embarrassment
and so are you.
200
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,284
None of you are perfect enough
for PerfectVille.
201
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:11,420
Yeah, well, who wants to be?
202
00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:14,316
You've got everybody in
this town wound up so tight, trying to be perfect,
203
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,888
nobody ever has any fun.
204
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,127
-"Fun"?
-What is "fun"?
205
00:09:19,194 --> 00:09:21,304
Life isn't supposed to be
about being too afraid to try things
206
00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:22,732
because you might do it wrong.
207
00:09:22,797 --> 00:09:24,997
If you want to dance,
go ahead and dance.
208
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,565
Who cares if you're any good.
209
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:27,843
(MUSIC PLAYING)
210
00:09:27,902 --> 00:09:31,042
Stop it. You're making
fools of yourselves.
211
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,474
So I look foolish sometimes.
212
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,680
At least I have fun,
I do new things,
213
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,942
and if I mess up, so what?
At least I tried.
214
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:41,951
Peter's right. I'm tired of
doing 300 sit-ups a day.
215
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,575
I want to be a dessert chef.
216
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,921
And I wouldn't mind
going out to play.
217
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,586
Maybe learn to skateboard.
218
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,356
(EXCLAIMS)
I'm doing it.
219
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,194
I'm...
(SCREAMING)
220
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,859
(THUD)
I'm so happy.
221
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:57,359
-(TOILET FLUSHES)
-I'm tired of reading this newspaper.
222
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,231
You're making a mess.
223
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,040
You ain't seen nothing yet.
224
00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:04,672
-(ALL CHANTING)
Flaws are good! -Stop it. Stop it right now!
225
00:10:04,739 --> 00:10:08,939
You are shaming the good name
of PerfectVille.
226
00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:11,680
You... You're all supposed to
do the thing, you know?
227
00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:13,746
(REENACTING SONG) ♪ It's perfect ♪
228
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:17,884
(ALL SHOUTING)
229
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,491
How you doing?
230
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:22,093
Stop! You're destroying
the town.
231
00:10:22,156 --> 00:10:23,116
-(ACCENTED) Excuse me.
-Huh?
232
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,660
Your cars are ready.
233
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,664
(CHUCKLING)
234
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,097
Hey guys, the cars are ready.
235
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:31,532
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
236
00:10:31,599 --> 00:10:32,899
People control yourselves.
237
00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:37,297
-You're animals, animals!
-(ALL CHEERING)
238
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:39,641
This is all your fault, Peter.
239
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,807
Bye, Paul,
see you at Christmas.
240
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,835
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-Whoops!
241
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,250
(EXCLAIMING)
(THUD)
242
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,983
(GROANS)
243
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,248
(GROANING)
244
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,086
(ENGINES REVVING)
245
00:10:51,152 --> 00:10:52,552
PENELOPE:
Peter, I think you may have accidently knocked over
246
00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:53,820
your brother's
little old statue.
247
00:10:53,888 --> 00:10:55,188
Don't worry
about it, Penelope.
248
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,425
After all, nobody is perfect.
249
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:01,102
♪ The end ♪
250
00:11:01,162 --> 00:11:03,602
DASTARDLY: Don't tell me you still not hearing that?
251
00:11:03,652 --> 00:11:08,202
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