All language subtitles for Life With Derek s04e13 Tuesday Afternoon Fever.eng

[twinkling
music]

[twinkling
music]

- No, Derek, you can't have
my bio assignment.

- Come on, Casey! It's not like
we're going to copy it.

- What? I thought
that was the plan?

- Not any more.
- Eeeeeeee!

- Fire drill!
We're off the hook!

- Emily, what is it?
- Dance Mania.

They're holding regional
auditions here at school.

Finalists get a spot
on their TV show.

- Dance Mania? Here? Eeeeeee!
- You mean that

lame show?
- You just think it's lame because you don't respect dance

as a competitive sport.
- Hockey is a competitive sport.

Dancing is a party trick.

- Yeah, the ladies
love old Crazy Legs. - Please! Derek can't dance!

And why am I wasting my time
talking to Crazy Legs

when I should be
working on my routine?

Emily, I could be on TV.
This is like a dream come true.

- Ralph, me-thinks my stepsister
just suggested I can't dance.

- Me-thinks she's wrong.

You're the funniest
dancer I know.

- Well, my dancing
is quite amusing.

Which is why they should make
room on the dance floor

for a very special guest.

- You don't mean?
- Crazy Legs.

- ♪ Used to be my mother
and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family
and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married,
that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost
and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school...
A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes
it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother
who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie,
Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

- Stepbrothers should look out
for their stepsisters.

Keep them out of trouble, pick
them up when they're down.

You know, help them.

Not tease, prank,
annoy and mock them.

Like Derek.

- Edwin, did you eat all that?

- Oh, yeah, and I feel terrible.

Hey! I still have
a bag of chips!

- Hi guys.
- That stuff isn't healthy.

They have weird additives that
have been linked to asthma and hyperactivity.

- Do I look hyperactive?
- She does have a point, Edwin.

You know, you shouldn't be
eating all those potato chips before dinner.

Gimme half.
- Uh, George,

I don't mean to lecture,
but don't you think you're setting a bad example?

- Make way for the chip monster!

- Come on, Lizzie! What's the
harm in a few potato chips?

- Ah, let's see...
too much fat, a bunch of sodium

and weird chemicals like
yellow number seven.

- What's yellow number seven?
- It's delicious, is what it is.

You know, you McDonalds
just need to get used to Venturi fine dining.

- Welcome everyone. My name
is Cindy and I am the official

judge of the Dance Mania
contest. We have had a record number of entrants...

- And one chicken. Lovely.

The four dancers who
impress me today

will then pair up and perform
with other regional finalists

in a special live
television broadcast.

So, good luck
to all the contestants.

- Yeah. Alright.
- Nervous?

- Oh, ah, maybe a little.
- This is my third year auditioning.

Last year I took second.
This year I plan to win.

I'm Sadia, by the way.
- Casey.

I do jazz contests
all the time, but... ooh!

This is just...
so much more intense.

- Cindy's notorious
for hating jazz. - Really?

- Yeah.

But she's never
seen you do it.

Maybe your jazz dancing will be
so amazing it will completely change her opinion.

- Sadia Sullivan
to the stage please.

- Well, good luck.
- Thanks. You too.

- Thanks, Mom.
- You know what, Nora?

I'm full so I'm just
going to have dessert.

- Me too. I'm stuffed.
- Mh-hm.

- Stuffed on what?
- Chips.

- I tried to stop them, Nora.

- Yeah, by eating all
of them yourself!

- George, you shouldn't
encourage Edwin and Marti to eat junk food.

- Hey, Nora, do not blame Dad,
okay? If anything, blame the chips for being so delicious.

- And have you thought about
what it's doing to your body?

- Nora, I can afford
to eat a little junk.

I'm in great shape, right?

- I'll love you no matter
what shape you're in. - Ouch.

- Hmm?
- Yeah, well, when's the last time you exercised?

- I don't know.
Does chewing count? - No. But a healthy dinner

is a good start.
- Yeah, you know,

I don't think I'm going to have
any of these, ah, like little green things.

- They're called vegetables.
You should try them sometime.

- What? I eat vegetables.
Gravy's a vegetable, right?

- I rest my case.
You guys couldn't eat a healthy diet if you tried.

I dare you guys to eat only
healthy foods for one week.

- Too easy!
- If you lose,

you dye your hair purple.

- Oooh!
- Lose? No, I don't know the meaning of the word.

- I do and, uh, purple hair
at work is frowned upon.

- Dad, please! Eating healthy?
Piece of cake.

And when we win,
you McDonalds are going

to stop hassling us
about our eating habits.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

- That is why I don't like jazz.

♪♪

[Applause]

- Either you don't respect
my opinion on jazz,

or you're trying to change it.

Either way, that was very good.
You'll be joining Sadia in the finals.

- Up next we have...

D-Vent?
- Huh?

- D-Vent?

♪♪

- That was a travesty.

But it was also
refreshingly comedic

and completely original,
which is why Derek Venturi

will be one of the finalists
of Dance Mania!

- What?
- What?

- I don't believe this!
You can't dance!

- Cindy seems to
think otherwise.

- Tell me you're not going
to compete in the finals.

Tell me you're not going
to make a mockery of dance,

the art I have pursued
my whole life!

- Relax, Casey, I'm done
making a mockery of you...

for now.

Look, I don't have the slightest
intention of continuing on.

- Hey, partner.
- Partner?

- Yeah, in the next round
we partner up.

And I'd love to work with you.
You free to practice tomorrow?

- Oh, well, actually
Sadia, my stepbrother--

- Would love to work with you.

- Now that was a good jog, son.
- Great jog, Dad. You know,

by the end I was really
feeling that runner's rush.

- More like sugar rush.
I saw you guys chowing down on

doughnuts when I was walking
home from school.

- I am so disappointed.

- Nora, it wasn't us. You know,
you must've confused us with two

other incredibly
good looking... Oops.

- Oh, come on! Look we should
be able to eat what we want.

I mean, at his age, Edwin has
the metabolism of a hummingbird,

and I know I'm in good shape.

And just to prove it,
I will take the, ah...

...jungle pants test.
- The jungle pants test?

- Yeah. Back in the day,
when I was lead guitarist of George in the Jungle,

I wore these hip leather pants.

Now when I want to see
if I'm still in shape, I... I try them on.

If they fit, it's all good.

- George, George, George.
- In the jungle.

- Sadia! So good to see you.

- Uh, yeah, you too,
but I'd see you better if the lights were on.

- Oh that. Yeah, just, ah,

trying to set the mood,
you know... inspire us.

- Um. I'm already inspired.
- Oh, what's this?

- Practice schedule and a list
of moves you have to learn.

- Box step? Gancho?
What was that?

- C'mon, I know your audition
was a gimmick, but you do know how to dance?

- Sure! At parties, I go, like,
crazy on the dance floor.

- You're not trained?

Then what are we doing here?

- You're so right.

What are we doing here?

Wanna go catch a movie?
- Are you hitting on me?

- Oh, of course I am.
- How dare you

jeopardize my chance of winning?

I'm calling Cindy.

- So that's a no to the movies?

- Look at this!

My jungle pants shrunk!
- Oh, ho, ho! George!

- Fine. I expanded.

Musta been that box of
jelly doughnuts we ate, Ed.

I thought cuz it had fruit
in it, it was healthy.

- I knew you ate the donuts.
You lose the bet!

- Thanks a lot, Dad. Now we've
got to dye our hair purple.

- Ed, don't you see?
The bet doesn't matter.

And Liz isn't going to
make us dye our hair purple, are you Liz? The point is

we need to eat better.
- Nice try George,

but a bet's a bet.
Here's what I will offer.

I'll spare you the humiliation
of purple hair if you eat

healthy foods and you exercise
for two weeks.

- Hey! My pants fit fine.
- We'll cook healthy meals.

- And I'll put together
a workout program.

- I'm in. So is Edwin.

And thank you for giving
us another chance, Lizzie.

- Yeah, thanks a lot, Lizzie.

- Isn't it nice
to have a stepsister

who cares so much for you?

- Where is my despicable
stepbrother?

- I'm home!

Ed, junk food stash. Now!

- Edwin!
- Der-rek! How could you?

- You're going to have
to be more specific. - The dance contest.

- Oh! That. Yeah,
I bowed out gracefully

so now you and your partner
have a better chance.

- Yeah, well, Derek, when Sadia
found out you couldn't dance,

your partner took my partner,

so now I have no partner! None
of this would have happened

if you hadn't auditioned
just to mock me!

- What? She'll get over it.

[Slamming door]
Eventually?

- Breakfast ready?

What's all the healthy stuff?
Are you still punishing Ed and Dad?

Marti, what's going on?

- You're getting the silent
treatment.

- Starting now.

- Is this about Casey?

Look, if you think not talking
to me and witholding your healthy food is punishment,

you're wrong!
- Ta-da!

- Nora, please tell me you're
taking that to the green bin.

- No. It's my first
all-healthy creation.

Poached egg whites,
granola with flax seed and a side of boiled kale.

- Please, no!
- Flax and kale?

Oh boy!

- Ah... that's where
the kale went.

Couldn't find any so I'm stuck
with this bowl of cereal.

Extra sugar. Anybody want some?

You boys too filled
with flax to speak?

- We're ALL giving you

the silent treatment!

Starting now.

- Fine! I will apologize
to Casey.

- Not good enough.
- Ah! You spoke!

- Dance is a very
big deal to Casey.

- Everything's
a big deal to Casey.

- You know how you feel
about hockey?

Well, dance is Casey's hockey.
- Did you

just compare hockey to dance?

- Check this out, Derek.
- Oh, no! Not... not...

not Casey's photo album.
Look, I'll do anything!

Derek, look at the photo album.

- This is not just

a dance contest to Casey.

This is an opportunity for her
to realize her dream.

Oh! Here she is dressed as a cat

for her first dance recital!

And here she is as a cow
for the country jamboree.

Oh, my favourite!

She's dressed as a tiger...

just ‘cause she
loved the costume. - ‘Kay, no more photos!

I'm begging you. Please.

- Alright, no more pictures.

Only if you do the right thing.

- What're you doing?
- Dancing is over for me now,

so I'm giving all my stuff away.
Want some toe shoes?

- They're yours.
- Dancing isn't over.

You have a new partner.
- Who?

- Me.
- Ah, you? Not funny, Derek.

- Do I look like I'm laughing?
- Actually no.

What's going on?
- Well, while you were on your

self-pity trip, I went on a
brief but intense guilt trip,

courtesy of the family.
- Like you care what they say.

- Look,

I like ruining your day,
your week, your life,

but your dream?
- Wow, they really got to you.

- No, ‘cause I know you'd
never go through with it.

- Wrong again.

What was I thinking?
You can't dance at all!

You can't even do
a simple two-step! - I know I can't.

I don't “do” your kind
of dancing. I just...

I just do stuff like, you know,
the ‘fishing trip'.

♪♪
Ooh! Oh, oh, oh! Got something!

That was the hook.

Or, you know, I do,
like, the “shopping cart.”

♪♪
Ooh! What's that?

Can. Not that.

- And if all else fails,
I just kinda go... ♪♪

- You know, Derek,
you can... sorta dance.

- No! No, no, no, no, no!

See I... I just do party moves!
You get me on stage on live TV

and I'll become like...
like a zombie.

- Yes!

But a zombie with rhythm.

- No more yoga.

I'm just not that bendy.

Hey, maybe if I had
some refined sugar?

- No! Be strong.

- Dad, I don't want
to be strong.

I want pizza.

So I ordered us an extra large
pepperoni! But we gotta eat it before Nora and Lizzie get home.

- Oh, Edwin, how could you?

You know I like
bacon on my pizza.

- You've given up... again?

- Ah! Lizzie, we're men,
alright? We're weak!

We weren't built to be healthy.
- Yeah!

- What happened
to leading by example?

- How ‘bout if I just give
the kids an example of what they shouldn't do,

rather than what they should?
- Mm hm. - But what about your, um...

jungle pants, George?
- I'll buy jungle sweatpants

with an extra-wide elastic.
- You both have to dye your hair!

- You could shave
my head if you want to! - Look on the bright side,

you won the bet and
you proved the point.

- Mm hm.
- [Both]: Yeah.

- Okay, as final rehearsals
go, that was...

really not very good.

- Can we please have team two
to the dance floor?

- Ah, stepbrother and sister
act? How cute.

- Cute?

We are not cute!
We are fierce competitors.

And you're just trying to psyche
us out ‘cause you're worried you're gonna lose to us

because... Sadia
rhymes with Badia.

And that's what your routine
is. Badia! Pfft!

- If your routine's as bad
as your trash talk,

we are so winning this contest.
- Oh!

- Okay, we so have to beat them.
- Totally.

- If only to make up for that
‘Sadia/Badia' bit. Yikes.

- Yeah, that was pretty bad.

- I'm so nervous! I can't look!

- I know! But it's like
that dead squirrel we saw on the road.

I didn't want to look,
but I couldn't resist.

- Snack, girls?
- Wh... wh... what's all this?

- Junk food!
- No, no

this is healthy junk food:

whole grain pizza,

baked low-fat sweet potato chips

and frozen yogurt ice cream
sandwiches.

- Way to go boys.
- Yeah! And, uh, George,

you can rinse that purple out of
your hair like Edwin did.

- No, I can't.
- Quiet! It's starting!

- Crank it up!
- Live from London, Ontario,

it is Dance Mania!

♪♪
- I can't look! Are they any good?

- How would I know?

[Applause]

- Next up, we have a
stepbrother-and-sister act:

Casey McDonald
and Derek Venturi.

- [All]: Yeah!

- Come on, Derek!
- Where is Derek?

♪♪

[Applause]

- There's a pair here who
knocked my socks off.

They were sharp,
polished, aggressive

and they did not miss a beat.

So congratulations
on your victory...

Casey McDonald
and Derek Venturi!

[Applause]

- Dude, I can't believe you won.

I mean I knew your legs
are crazy, but they were out of control!

- Yeah, thanks, man, I mean...

I think I'm going to give
Crazy Legs a rest for a while.

- Really? See, I've been working
on a little dance number I call

‘Ramblin' Ralph'.
You wanna see it?

- Uh...
- I do!

- Yeah, me too!
- Yeah?

- Yeah, go Ralphie!

- Ah, does the Ramblin' Ralph
have an ending?

- Yeah! Derek catch.
- No!

Whoa!
- I totally stuck that landing.

- Get off me. Now.

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

- You dropped your broccoli.
You dropped it.

- It's okay!

- Oh oh!

- And what about that mini
doughnut and fried...?

- It's... delicious!

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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