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1
00:00:01,967 --> 00:00:04,383
Previously on
"Grey's Anatomy"...
2
00:00:04,383 --> 00:00:05,591
What if it wasn't
- ridiculous?
- What?
3
00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:07,938
What if you try to cure
Alzheimer's?
4
00:00:07,938 --> 00:00:09,906
Should I anticipate any
- goodbye e-mails from you?
- I don't know.
5
00:00:09,906 --> 00:00:11,218
Tessa's like Seattle royalty.
6
00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:12,667
Man, I grew up
on her stories.
7
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,048
I do have
another story to tell.
8
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,223
"Tessa and the Rising Sun."
9
00:00:17,534 --> 00:00:18,811
I'm sorry. I can't.
10
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,193
You don't consider me
part of your life.
11
00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:23,057
Of course you're
part of my life.
12
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,127
You took the Boston job
without even talking to me.
13
00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:26,060
I love cardio.
But I love you more.
14
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,751
Guess I'm not sure
that I respect that.
15
00:00:33,447 --> 00:00:40,419
♪ I'm up, I'm here,
I'm out the door ♪
16
00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:42,732
One of the greatest
frustrations surgeons have
17
00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:45,148
are the unrealistic
expectations of our patients.
18
00:00:45,148 --> 00:00:46,563
Whoa.
19
00:00:46,563 --> 00:00:47,771
♪ Don't you wanna go with me
20
00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:50,602
Whoa! Whoa!
21
00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,017
No!
22
00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:54,675
No. No, no, no!
23
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:57,678
Whether they're acutely ill or
they've been sick for years...
24
00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:59,059
No, no, no, no, no.
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,750
No, no.
26
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:03,063
Oh, my God. No.
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,719
...by the time they're
on the surgical table,
28
00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:06,135
they're hoping for a miracle.
29
00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:07,515
- Thanks for the ride.
- Get out.
30
00:01:07,515 --> 00:01:09,897
I'm late.
So am I.
31
00:01:09,897 --> 00:01:13,245
But often, surgery is just
the beginning of the healing,
32
00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:14,902
rather than an end.
33
00:01:14,902 --> 00:01:16,317
Because for weeks
or months post-op,
34
00:01:16,317 --> 00:01:18,319
people have to learn
how to live
35
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,252
without the part of their
body we've just removed.
36
00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:22,668
- You're late.
- Not as late as you.
37
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:26,120
And that's not always easy
and it's never painless.
38
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,226
So, surgery is not
the happily ever after
39
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:30,228
our patients hope it will be.
40
00:01:30,228 --> 00:01:32,713
Like everything else in life,
it's an evolution.
41
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:34,059
Now, remember what
I said to you.
42
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:35,198
You're going to take
these gifts
43
00:01:35,198 --> 00:01:37,545
and go visit your
old daycare teachers.
44
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:39,892
They're gonna be
very excited to see you.
45
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,031
Do you remember
where you're going?
46
00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:43,137
- Mom, I'm not a baby.
- Same, Mom.
47
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,657
Okay.
48
00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,521
Hey!
Look who's here!
49
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:49,695
Hi.
Big last day.
50
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,007
Yeah, we're
trying to forget
51
00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:52,077
all that and act
like everything
52
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:53,665
- is super normal.
- How are we doing?
53
00:01:53,665 --> 00:01:55,322
Not great.
54
00:01:55,322 --> 00:01:57,117
- How's the new place?
- It is great.
55
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,464
It is weird to live alone
when I don't have Scout,
56
00:01:59,464 --> 00:02:01,742
but I feel
very grown up.
57
00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:04,158
Do you have any surgeries
- I can watch today?
- Zola--
58
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,987
I might have
a very excellent one
59
00:02:05,987 --> 00:02:08,507
with Uncle Winston in O.R. two,
if your mom says it's okay.
60
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:10,544
Mom, please?
61
00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:12,373
Okay, if anyone asks,
I don't know where you are.
62
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,998
Link!
Hi. Hey.
63
00:02:16,998 --> 00:02:19,518
Do you, uh-- Do you have
- a busy schedule today?
- Actually, no.
64
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,762
I've carved out my whole day
to catch up on charting.
65
00:02:21,762 --> 00:02:24,385
I am buried in--I need you to pick up
a cake by noon.
66
00:02:24,385 --> 00:02:27,077
- This bakery's across town.
- It's for Meredith.
67
00:02:27,077 --> 00:02:28,527
Does she like
faraway cake?
68
00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:30,184
It's her favorite.
69
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,358
It's the triple berry
with the buttercream.
70
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:32,704
I would do it myself,
71
00:02:32,704 --> 00:02:34,050
but the baby
that I delivered
72
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,569
two weeks ago with
the malformed heart,
73
00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:37,191
he's having
heart surgery today,
74
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,400
and his parents are very
attached to me, and--
75
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,816
and-- and you love me,
so please help.
76
00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:43,370
That is true.
77
00:02:45,026 --> 00:02:46,614
I do love you.
Thank you.
78
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:53,345
You're all rounding with
Doctors Ndugu and Pierce.
79
00:02:53,345 --> 00:02:55,382
They are breaking new
surgical ground,
80
00:02:55,382 --> 00:02:58,178
and it is a privilege
that they have invited--
81
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,524
Sorry.
My car broke down.
82
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:01,215
Had to get a ride
with my sister.
83
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,734
Yeah, my car got towed
and it's also my house.
84
00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:04,701
Do you know who else
wasn't punctual?
85
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:06,462
Taryn Helm
wasn't punctual,
86
00:03:06,462 --> 00:03:08,291
despite being
an excellent surgeon,
87
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:11,087
and now you can find her
throwing her life away
88
00:03:11,087 --> 00:03:12,813
bartending
across the street.
89
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:15,367
There's a surgeon
bartending at Joe's?
90
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:16,713
Why?
91
00:03:16,713 --> 00:03:18,543
Because she burnt out,
that's why.
92
00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:22,823
So, hydrate and sleep
and lean on your friends,
93
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:26,033
and take a break
and get a good therapist.
94
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:27,931
And be on time,
95
00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:29,588
unless you
want to wind up like Helm,
96
00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,107
wasting your talents,
97
00:03:31,107 --> 00:03:33,178
your family's investment,
and your futures.
98
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:34,973
Does she know you're throwing
shade behind her back?
99
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,876
Woman over PA:
Dr. Joseph to L
100
00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:44,120
Dr. Earl Joseph to L
101
00:03:46,778 --> 00:03:48,262
Meadow, Will.
102
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,815
Um, we're
a teaching hospital,
103
00:03:49,815 --> 00:03:51,196
and these
are our first years.
104
00:03:51,196 --> 00:03:52,473
Is it okay
if they stay?
105
00:03:52,473 --> 00:03:53,819
You can say no.
106
00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:55,545
Uh, i-it should be okay.
107
00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:57,202
Baby?
108
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,761
Dr. Kwan.
109
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,697
Arlo Fischer, delivered by
Dr. Wilson two weeks ago,
110
00:04:09,697 --> 00:04:12,528
and diagnosed with
truncus arteriosus and VSD.
111
00:04:12,528 --> 00:04:14,875
He's been listed for
a transplant for heart failure,
112
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,291
and he was placed
on ECMO a week ago.
113
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,983
Arlo's deterioration is
sending him into organ failure.
114
00:04:19,983 --> 00:04:22,365
We got a call from UNOS last
night that there is a match,
115
00:04:22,365 --> 00:04:24,471
but the procurement team reported
116
00:04:24,471 --> 00:04:26,576
that the donor heart muscle
is weak
117
00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:28,682
and not suitable
for transplantation.
118
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:30,200
But Dr. Pierce
and I believe
119
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,581
that we can still
make use of the heart
120
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,825
if we transplant only
the two major arteries.
121
00:04:33,825 --> 00:04:35,205
So, it's a partial
heart transplant?
122
00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:36,759
Has that ever
been done before?
123
00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:39,209
No, this
will be the first.
124
00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:41,419
I don't understand.
125
00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:43,041
Why can't we just wait
on another heart?
126
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:45,802
Meadow, it could take months
to find another match.
127
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,977
Arlo cannot stay on ECMO
for that long.
128
00:04:47,977 --> 00:04:50,186
Baby, she's saying partial
is better than nothing.
129
00:04:50,186 --> 00:04:52,188
We know this is frightening,
but if this works,
130
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:54,535
these valves will grow with him
for the rest of his life,
131
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:56,226
and he won't need
a heart transplant
132
00:04:56,226 --> 00:04:58,090
or any other
additional surgeries.
133
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:01,577
If this works.
What if it doesn't work?
134
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:04,234
He dies?
My baby dies?
135
00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:08,998
We're gonna give you
some time to think about it.
136
00:05:08,998 --> 00:05:10,655
We really do believe
that this is
137
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,898
Arlo's best option
at this point.
138
00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:19,629
Can you...
I can stay.
139
00:05:19,629 --> 00:05:21,079
Yes, Of course.
140
00:05:21,079 --> 00:05:22,183
- Thank you, Doctor.
- Yeah.
141
00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,023
Come in.
142
00:05:37,889 --> 00:05:39,200
Hey.
Hi.
143
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:42,134
Heard it's your
last day.
It is.
144
00:05:43,895 --> 00:05:45,206
Thanks for coming.
145
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:47,208
I went by the house.
146
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,831
It's nice to see
it's still standing.
147
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:51,040
There's a giant hole
where the attic used to be.
148
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,214
They've spent the last two weeks
stabilizing the place,
149
00:05:53,214 --> 00:05:55,216
but everything
still reeks of smoke.
150
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,357
It's...
How are the kids?
151
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,462
Zola's excited to start
at her new school.
152
00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:02,016
I think Bailey and Ellis
are sad to leave.
153
00:06:02,016 --> 00:06:03,328
I called, you know?
154
00:06:03,328 --> 00:06:04,433
I know.
155
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:07,539
This has been a lot.
156
00:06:07,539 --> 00:06:11,163
A fire,
living in a hotel, moving.
157
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,924
No, I know it's been a lot,
but what-- what was your plan?
158
00:06:12,924 --> 00:06:14,339
You were just gonna leave
and not call me back?
159
00:06:14,339 --> 00:06:15,651
And you're gonna move
across the country
160
00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:16,928
without a conversation?
161
00:06:16,928 --> 00:06:19,379
I-I-I-I don't get that.
I don't.
162
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,690
I didn't know
what to say.
163
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:22,071
I moved here
to be with you.
164
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:23,279
Yes, I took a job,
but I moved here
165
00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:25,246
to be with you.
166
00:06:25,246 --> 00:06:27,283
You didn't say it back.
167
00:06:28,698 --> 00:06:29,975
I didn't
say what back?
168
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:31,874
You s--
169
00:06:31,874 --> 00:06:33,876
What?
170
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,325
I said, "I love you."
171
00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:37,327
You were standing
exactly in that spot
172
00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:38,639
where you are
right now.
173
00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:39,916
I said, "I love you."
174
00:06:39,916 --> 00:06:41,504
You didn't say it back.
175
00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:44,507
You had just taken a job
at my hospital.
176
00:06:44,507 --> 00:06:46,647
I thought--
I had hoped
177
00:06:46,647 --> 00:06:48,373
that we were
gonna pick it up
178
00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,375
right where we left off.
179
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,342
But you seemed to want
to take it slow.
180
00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:55,173
So, it did not
occur to me
181
00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:57,624
to confer with you
about me moving.
182
00:06:57,624 --> 00:06:59,246
Okay, so wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, whoa.
183
00:06:59,246 --> 00:07:00,868
This--
So, this is on me?
184
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:02,180
This whole thing,
it's my fault?
185
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:03,492
That is not
what I just said.
186
00:07:03,492 --> 00:07:05,528
I-I didn't do and say
exactly what you thought
187
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:07,496
I should do and say
on exactly your timeline,
188
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:09,567
so this whole mess
is my fault.
189
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,016
That's what
you're saying?
That is not
what I said.
190
00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:12,811
No, no. Nope.
191
00:07:12,811 --> 00:07:15,193
I can't.
192
00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:33,556
So essentially, we will
take out the truncus
193
00:07:33,556 --> 00:07:35,144
and the malformed artery,
194
00:07:35,144 --> 00:07:36,973
replace it with the donor
aorta and pulmonary trunk,
195
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:39,389
and then use their walls
to close the VSD.
196
00:07:39,389 --> 00:07:40,701
So it's like gutting
the inside of a house
197
00:07:40,701 --> 00:07:42,185
without
disturbing the frames.
198
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:43,566
Can you not use the word
"gutting" when talking
199
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:44,705
about a tiny baby heart?
200
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,569
Mm, cosign.
201
00:07:46,569 --> 00:07:48,157
I don't like the verbiage,
but it is a pretty apt metaphor.
202
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:49,986
Do we
get to scrub in?
203
00:07:49,986 --> 00:07:52,195
There will only be room
for one of you at the table.
204
00:07:52,195 --> 00:07:54,370
We are operating on a heart
the size of a strawberry.
205
00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:56,406
The vessels are
half a centimeter wide.
206
00:07:56,406 --> 00:07:58,167
My hands
are the smallest!
207
00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,858
You will not be stitching.
You will be observing.
208
00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:02,689
But whoever does the best
vascular anastomosis
209
00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:05,381
in the skills lab
wins the spot.
210
00:08:06,865 --> 00:08:08,177
Dr. Kwan.
211
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:09,627
Yeah?
212
00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:11,387
Uh, don't do your finger
agility exercises
213
00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:12,906
in front of the patients, alright?
214
00:08:12,906 --> 00:08:14,908
Oh, it's a technique
I use to disengage
215
00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:16,081
from the emotionality.
216
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,326
To stay neutral.
217
00:08:19,326 --> 00:08:20,638
Y-You know, when--
when the mother
218
00:08:20,638 --> 00:08:22,363
started crying,
I was...
219
00:08:22,363 --> 00:08:24,642
It's smart. You just can't
let them see it, Kwan.
220
00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:26,229
Understood.
221
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:31,511
Richard!
222
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,064
Just curious
how it's going.
223
00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:34,583
The search
for the new chief.
224
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,377
It was easy
a few years ago
225
00:08:36,377 --> 00:08:38,138
when we were
at the top of our game. Right.
226
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:39,967
But we've got a lot
of interesting applicants
227
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,555
we're sorting through, yeah.
228
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,902
I mean, Grey-Sloan
is not an easy place
229
00:08:43,902 --> 00:08:45,663
just to step right into.
230
00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:47,975
It's got its own history,
its-- its own quirks,
231
00:08:47,975 --> 00:08:49,252
its own personality.
232
00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:50,909
Well, that it does.
233
00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:54,188
Yeah. I mean, it-- it wouldn't
be the-- the worst idea
234
00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:55,845
to look closer to home.
235
00:08:55,845 --> 00:08:57,226
Someone who's been here,
236
00:08:57,226 --> 00:08:59,504
who-- who understands
our history,
237
00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:02,818
the issues, and-- and our past
and our needs.
238
00:09:02,818 --> 00:09:06,097
Altman, I think
you're onto something.
239
00:09:06,097 --> 00:09:08,375
T-There's no
extra pay involved,
240
00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,514
but there's lots
of free pastries
241
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:11,378
and we could use
your expertise.
242
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:13,863
I-I'm sorry,
there's no extra pay?
243
00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:15,520
No, the search committee
is voluntary.
244
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,073
But we'd love to have you.
245
00:09:17,073 --> 00:09:18,903
We're meeting in the second
floor conference room
246
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:21,491
from 4:00 to 6:00
on Monday.
247
00:09:21,491 --> 00:09:23,183
Okay, got it.
Thank you.
248
00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:24,529
I will...
249
00:09:24,529 --> 00:09:26,013
join.
Great.
250
00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:27,083
Yeah.
Thank you.
251
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,360
Okay.
252
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,641
Meadow, I got a page.
Is everything okay?
253
00:09:32,641 --> 00:09:34,125
I can't do it.
254
00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:37,887
I-I can't
kiss him goodbye
255
00:09:37,887 --> 00:09:39,751
for what
might be forever.
256
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:41,201
She wants to wait.
257
00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:45,585
W-We want to wait
for a whole heart.
258
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,311
An infant donor heart
could take up to six months
259
00:09:48,311 --> 00:09:49,347
to find a match.
260
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,659
But we got this one.
261
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:52,143
This one was a match
and it came in days.
262
00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:54,386
- But it was damaged.
- I know.
263
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,561
But we could get
another match
264
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:58,080
in the next
couple of days.
265
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,978
It could happen.
266
00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:02,602
I know that it's hard,
and I know that it's scary,
267
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,570
but Dr. Pierce
is as good as it gets
268
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,365
and she is not
a risk taker.
269
00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:09,574
She doesn't do
experimental surgeries
270
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:11,507
for practice or for glory.
271
00:10:11,507 --> 00:10:13,992
She is suggesting this
because she believes
272
00:10:13,992 --> 00:10:15,373
that she can
save Arlo's life.
273
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:23,484
I don't know
how to love my son this much
274
00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:25,728
and send him in
for an experimental surgery
275
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:27,212
that might kill him.
276
00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:30,906
I-I can't do it.
277
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,324
If he dies
in that surgery,
278
00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:38,327
I won't ever
be okay again.
279
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:40,398
Tell Dr. Pierce
thank you, but no.
280
00:10:40,398 --> 00:10:42,331
The surgery is off.
281
00:11:04,594 --> 00:11:06,666
Ow! Damn it.
282
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,668
You know what?
283
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,048
Screw this.
284
00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:14,674
What? Should I
go after her?
Shh.
285
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,399
Some of us
are trying to win.
286
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,229
I hate this stitch.
287
00:11:18,229 --> 00:11:21,439
Oh, you have to kinda twirl
your wrist like, um...
288
00:11:21,439 --> 00:11:22,716
Here.
289
00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:26,582
Right.
290
00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:28,170
Yeah.
291
00:11:30,828 --> 00:11:32,381
- Oh, no.
- It's Tessa Hobbes.
292
00:11:32,381 --> 00:11:33,727
Who?
293
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,177
I have no idea.
294
00:11:36,557 --> 00:11:37,697
Done.
295
00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:40,216
Tessa.
What happened?
296
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:41,562
I'm so sorry.
297
00:11:41,562 --> 00:11:43,219
She came in with severe
abdominal pain.
298
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:46,050
She's a bit hypotensive.
Take her to CT.
299
00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:48,052
I-I picked up
my groceries.
300
00:11:48,052 --> 00:11:50,054
Tessa, we said no heavy
lifting, three months.
301
00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:51,365
It was just
a grocery bag,
302
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:54,265
and I was feeling so great.
303
00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:56,025
And then there
was this sharp pain,
304
00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:57,475
like something tore.
305
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:58,821
And then she drove
herself here.
306
00:11:58,821 --> 00:12:00,029
Wh-- You
drove yourself?
307
00:12:00,029 --> 00:12:01,134
Well, in retrospect,
I can see
308
00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:02,514
that might have been
a bad idea.
309
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,344
Tessa, which area
hurts exactly?
310
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,208
All of it.
The entire abdomen hurts.
311
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,312
Here--
touch right there.
312
00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:08,762
- Ow!
- She's tachycardic.
313
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,074
We should take her
straight to the O.R.
314
00:12:10,074 --> 00:12:11,523
No, her blood pressure's
holding.
315
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:12,870
Get her to CT first
and then call the O.R.
316
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:14,216
to be on standby.
317
00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:15,735
Skip the line.
I'll call ahead.
318
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,184
I really think we
should just take her
319
00:12:17,184 --> 00:12:18,427
straight to the O.R.Go! I'll call Marsh.
320
00:12:18,427 --> 00:12:19,566
Someone page Chief Grey!
321
00:12:25,986 --> 00:12:28,161
♪ Hey, love
322
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:32,027
- Are you Dr. Hellum?
- Who's asking?
323
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:34,374
Mika Yasuda, first year
surgical resident.
324
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:36,238
It's Helm, and I'm
no longer a doctor.
325
00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:37,653
Cool, 'cause
I'm barely a doctor
326
00:12:37,653 --> 00:12:38,930
and I'm desperate
for a win.
327
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,347
Could you
possibly teach me
328
00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,902
how to do a perfect
microvascular anastomosis?
329
00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:47,042
There's a contest and if I win
I get to scrub in
330
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:48,975
on a partial heart transplant
on a newborn.
331
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:50,700
A partial heart transplant
doesn't exist.
332
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:54,083
I know, but it is about to,
and I-I need this.
333
00:12:55,119 --> 00:12:57,155
I need a win
because I, uh--
334
00:12:57,155 --> 00:12:58,363
I don't have anywhere
to sleep tonight,
335
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,780
and Seattle is
outrageously expensive,
336
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,576
and being a surgical
resident is exhausting...
337
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,647
...to the point
of nearly impossible,
338
00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:09,374
and I just really need to give
myself a reason to keep caring.
339
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,585
And if Blue wins,
I cannot take the gloating.
340
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,242
Blue?
Like the ribbon.
341
00:13:15,242 --> 00:13:16,968
And this is a nickname
he perpetuates.
342
00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:18,556
Wow.
That is arrogant.
343
00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:19,937
Right?
344
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,526
20 bucks.
345
00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:25,977
My house was towed this morning,
so I don't have 20 bucks.
346
00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:27,496
But if I win
this contest,
347
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:28,842
I will barback for you
on Friday night for free.
348
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,188
You've been a barback?
349
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:31,362
No, but I've been
a cater waiter
350
00:13:31,362 --> 00:13:32,846
and I'm excellent
at chopping limes.
351
00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:38,576
Give me it.
352
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,374
♪ I love you far
353
00:13:43,374 --> 00:13:45,410
♪ You know I'm never right
354
00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:51,209
I was treating myself
to champagne and fruit salad
355
00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:53,591
because that's what
I was craving,
356
00:13:53,591 --> 00:13:56,076
and I had plenty
to celebrate.
357
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:57,802
Now, okay, wait, wait.
358
00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:01,392
And then
the groceries came.
359
00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:03,394
They left them
on the front stoop.
360
00:14:03,394 --> 00:14:05,085
It didn't even o-occur to me
361
00:14:05,085 --> 00:14:07,260
not to bend over
and pick them up.
362
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,778
It's routine.
363
00:14:08,778 --> 00:14:11,816
It's muscle memory.
364
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:14,508
Dr. Griffith, the ring
around your necklace--
365
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:15,889
are you engaged?
366
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,477
I-I was.
I was engaged.
367
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:19,065
Now I'm not.
368
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:22,033
Heartbreak is the worst.
369
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,724
It is.
370
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,692
If I die today, I might
even miss heartbreak.
371
00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:26,900
Please try
not to die today.
372
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,660
Yeah, I'll do my best.
373
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,524
Oh, wait.
I need my purse.
374
00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:32,147
- Right now?
- Yes, where is it?
375
00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:33,182
Uh, it's downstairs
with your clothes.
376
00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:34,494
I can get it
after we're done here.
377
00:14:34,494 --> 00:14:36,082
Okay.
378
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:37,911
Hey, what happened?
379
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:40,017
Schmitt said her abdomen
is distended and she's tachy.
380
00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:41,604
She's getting more hypotensive.
381
00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:43,710
Okay, well, you two
need to go book an O.R.
382
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,574
I don't care if you have to
kick someone out to do it.
383
00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:47,472
Tessa takes priority.
384
00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,992
I don't get it.
385
00:14:49,992 --> 00:14:51,511
She did this
for groceries?
386
00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:53,685
Well, I don't think she
did it on purpose, Nick.
387
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:56,240
I think she probably lives alone
and is set in her ways,
388
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,759
and I'm sure it's a lot for her
to change and ask for help.
389
00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:00,485
Hello?
390
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:02,763
We're here, Tessa.
Please stay very still.
391
00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:05,559
I'm afraid.
This is all wrong.
392
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:06,940
I-I don't want to die.
393
00:15:08,355 --> 00:15:10,254
I still have
something to say.
394
00:15:10,254 --> 00:15:11,980
Tessa, you're not
going anywhere today.
395
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,188
We've got you.
396
00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:14,568
She's bleeding out.
397
00:15:14,568 --> 00:15:16,467
We're gonna need
some help in here.
398
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:18,745
We're gonna need
blood in the O.R.
399
00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:20,712
Tessa, we're gonna
take you upstairs.
400
00:15:22,024 --> 00:15:23,577
So on a scale
of one to better?
401
00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:25,752
We're better. I think.
I think we're better.
402
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:28,134
But you're not sure?
403
00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:30,377
I am sure that we
are both excited
404
00:15:30,377 --> 00:15:32,932
about this partial heart
transplant on an infant,
405
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,554
which is a
stroke-of-genius idea
406
00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:36,211
that we came up
with together.
407
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:39,214
And that is because in the
O.R., we're good together.
408
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:41,595
In our chosen field of study,
we are so good.
409
00:15:41,595 --> 00:15:43,080
Are you rehearsing
a speech you plan on
410
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,702
- giving him later?
- Maybe a little.
411
00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:46,773
So the two of you haven't
really spoken since the fire.
412
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,740
Oh, we said some things.
413
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,328
We needed
a cooling-off period.
414
00:15:50,328 --> 00:15:52,537
It's best that we haven't
talked about it.
415
00:15:52,537 --> 00:15:55,747
A-And, you know,
we'll talk again soon.
416
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:58,129
As soon as we change
medical history.
417
00:15:58,129 --> 00:16:00,338
I have bad news.
418
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,305
Oh, no.
The baby?
419
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:02,858
No, he's stable.
420
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,342
But his mom's too scared.
421
00:16:04,342 --> 00:16:06,034
She wants to call it off.
422
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,381
I can't talk her into it.
That would be unethical.
423
00:16:08,381 --> 00:16:10,659
But you think she's got
this one wrong?
424
00:16:10,659 --> 00:16:13,696
Without this surgery,
the baby has days to live.
425
00:16:13,696 --> 00:16:16,216
She had a 30-hour labor
and she did it without any meds.
426
00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:18,011
- Meaning?
- She's a warrior.
427
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,426
She's strong
in her convictions,
428
00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:21,428
and she seems sure
of what she wants.
429
00:16:22,843 --> 00:16:24,328
Let me talk to her.
430
00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:25,639
You can't.
431
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:26,778
I'm not her doctor.
432
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:29,264
Let me talk to her.
433
00:16:31,714 --> 00:16:34,407
You're a neurosurgeon,
so do you think Arlo needs--
434
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:35,891
No, no, no. No.
435
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,651
No, I'm not here as one
of Arlo's doctors.
436
00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:40,206
I'm sorry, but if you're here
to try to talk me into--
437
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:42,173
I'm here
because I had a baby
438
00:16:42,173 --> 00:16:45,038
who only lived
for 43 minutes.
439
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,075
He had a condition
called anencephaly,
440
00:16:47,075 --> 00:16:50,595
which is when the baby's brain
does not develop typically,
441
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:54,392
and, uh, we discovered it
when I was 6 months pregnant.
442
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:56,222
We didn't know.
443
00:16:56,222 --> 00:16:57,533
We didn't know
until he was born
444
00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,052
that there
was anything wrong.
445
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,329
I gave birth
to Christopher
446
00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:02,228
knowing that he would be
an organ donor,
447
00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:04,230
uh, because there was nothing
that we could do.
448
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:07,302
There was no surgery
that we could try.
449
00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:11,754
And, um, I think about
him a lot these days
450
00:17:11,754 --> 00:17:16,069
because he has
a brother now, named Scout,
451
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,553
and as Scout grows up,
452
00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:19,176
I cannot help
but think about
453
00:17:19,176 --> 00:17:20,694
who Christopher
would have been.
454
00:17:21,695 --> 00:17:24,560
And, um...
455
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:28,047
what I do know is
456
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,911
if there
had been a chance
457
00:17:30,911 --> 00:17:32,189
that Christopher
could have lived,
458
00:17:32,189 --> 00:17:34,053
if there had been
any hope,
459
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,331
if there had been
any surgery
460
00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:40,473
and it meant
that he might live...
461
00:17:40,473 --> 00:17:42,164
I would take the shot.
462
00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,183
I knew it.
463
00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:02,702
I knew we should have taken
her straight to the O.R.
464
00:18:02,702 --> 00:18:03,806
We needed the CT to see
if we could operate--
465
00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:06,154
My gut doesn't lie.
466
00:18:06,154 --> 00:18:07,845
And I should have
fought for it.
467
00:18:07,845 --> 00:18:09,743
We should have brought
her straight here.
468
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,647
Yeah,
I'm number one.
469
00:18:16,647 --> 00:18:18,062
Ew, someone
likes himself.
470
00:18:18,062 --> 00:18:21,030
No, my sample
is literally number one.
471
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,825
But yes,
I intend to win.
472
00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:25,414
What is that face?
Is that good?
473
00:18:25,414 --> 00:18:27,209
It is if you want
to go home early.
474
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,831
I knew I shouldn't have
practiced on bananas.
475
00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:31,386
What about fruit says
"baby veins" to you?
476
00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:33,146
This is all good work.
477
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,769
Number one's sutures
are particularly precise.
478
00:18:38,427 --> 00:18:41,154
But with perfect
alignment and tension,
479
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,639
the winner
is number three.
480
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,745
That's me!
481
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:49,024
Guess we gotta call you
Red today, huh?
482
00:18:49,024 --> 00:18:50,198
Hm.
483
00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:17,570
Scalpel.
484
00:19:28,097 --> 00:19:30,099
I thought
you would win.
485
00:19:30,099 --> 00:19:32,067
Your stitches
are typically excellent.
486
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:33,379
I know.
487
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:35,415
Better than Yasuda's.
488
00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:37,176
I tanked the contest
489
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,523
because babies scare
the crap out of me.
490
00:19:39,523 --> 00:19:41,214
Didn't want to be
anywhere near that table.
491
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,767
Why are you
scared of babies?
492
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:45,218
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
493
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,219
You gotta tell me.
Come on.
494
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,670
Okay, but you
owe me one.
495
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:49,705
Owe you what?
496
00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:50,982
Whatever I decide.
497
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,398
Fine.
498
00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:57,644
When I was 5,
my dad took me into the backyard
499
00:19:57,644 --> 00:20:02,097
where my mom had just
given birth to my brother
500
00:20:02,097 --> 00:20:03,685
in a kiddie pool.
501
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,240
Now, you've done
an OB rotation.
502
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,105
You're acquainted with all
the blood and placenta
503
00:20:10,105 --> 00:20:12,901
and the literal horror movie
that is human child birth.
504
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:15,283
And I'm sure it's all
very beautiful in its own way,
505
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:17,008
but I was 5.
506
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:19,252
And before I could fully
process what I was seeing,
507
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,461
my dad handed me
a pair of scissors
508
00:20:21,461 --> 00:20:23,636
and told me to cut
the umbilical cord.
509
00:20:23,636 --> 00:20:24,878
Wait, you were 5?
510
00:20:24,878 --> 00:20:26,225
Yeah.
511
00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:30,677
What, you think
this is funny?
512
00:20:30,677 --> 00:20:32,921
This is trauma.
513
00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:35,164
This is-- This
is crystal-loving,
514
00:20:35,164 --> 00:20:38,029
weed-smoking, latter-day
hippie-style trauma.
515
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,308
Shh!
516
00:20:40,308 --> 00:20:42,102
Sorry to shush you,
but my aunt
517
00:20:42,102 --> 00:20:43,414
is making history
right now,
518
00:20:43,414 --> 00:20:45,451
and I think we should
all be paying attention.
519
00:20:47,901 --> 00:21:02,675
♪ I've had my heart
get swallowed ♪
520
00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:07,542
♪ And dragged down
to the deep ♪
521
00:21:11,511 --> 00:21:15,239
♪ But I made it to tomorrow
522
00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:21,107
♪ So I believe
523
00:21:23,696 --> 00:21:28,563
♪ After all these years
of trying ♪
524
00:21:30,358 --> 00:21:34,914
♪ Weighing on these
tired bones ♪
525
00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:41,541
♪ If there's something
I'll take with me ♪
526
00:21:42,715 --> 00:21:44,164
Starting compressions.
527
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:47,858
♪ Let it be hope
528
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:49,169
Come on, Tessa.
529
00:21:49,169 --> 00:21:52,552
♪ Yeah, let it be hope
530
00:21:52,552 --> 00:21:55,900
♪ Yeah, let it be
531
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,800
♪ Let it be hope
532
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,042
♪ Let it be
533
00:22:00,042 --> 00:22:02,044
Come on, Tessa. Fight.
534
00:22:02,044 --> 00:22:03,356
Mer.
535
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:04,875
Meredith,
let Griffith take over.
536
00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:08,499
♪ After all these years
of trying ♪
537
00:22:11,088 --> 00:22:15,575
♪ Weighing on these
tired bones ♪
538
00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:22,306
♪ If there's something
I'll take with me ♪
539
00:22:23,514 --> 00:22:25,067
♪ Mm-mmm
540
00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:29,831
♪ Let it be hope
541
00:22:29,831 --> 00:22:33,144
♪ Yeah, let it be hope
542
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:34,422
♪ Yeah, let it be
543
00:22:36,596 --> 00:22:38,667
♪ Let it be hope
544
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:41,083
♪ Yeah, let it be
545
00:22:42,878 --> 00:22:46,399
♪ Yeah, let it be hope
546
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:48,228
Griffith,
it's time to stop.
547
00:22:49,678 --> 00:22:52,854
♪ Let it be hope
548
00:22:53,855 --> 00:22:55,753
♪ Let it be hope
549
00:22:57,168 --> 00:22:58,411
Oh, God.
550
00:23:03,105 --> 00:23:04,900
Oh, my God. No.
551
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:07,731
♪ Let it be hope
552
00:23:10,699 --> 00:23:12,908
Time of death 12:21.
553
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:20,260
Chief Grey,
I'd like to close her up.
554
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:21,365
I'd like to pay her
that respect.
555
00:23:26,922 --> 00:23:28,924
Can I help?
Yeah.
556
00:23:46,459 --> 00:23:49,151
That was so
incredibly stupid.
557
00:23:49,151 --> 00:23:50,429
That did not have
to end that way.
558
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,085
I hate this day.
559
00:23:52,085 --> 00:23:53,673
I hate everything
about this day.
560
00:23:53,673 --> 00:23:55,261
Me, too.
561
00:24:01,370 --> 00:24:03,200
I-I'm a-- I-I'm
a transplant surgeon.
562
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,547
I-I wait.
I'm trained to wait.
563
00:24:05,547 --> 00:24:08,170
I attach, I perfuse,
I wait for the organ to take.
564
00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:10,379
For it not
to be rejected.
565
00:24:10,379 --> 00:24:13,037
For it to pink up.
For blood to flow.
566
00:24:13,037 --> 00:24:15,005
Because that's
how humans respond.
567
00:24:15,005 --> 00:24:17,904
They're not machines
with an on/off switch.
568
00:24:19,319 --> 00:24:21,632
And I'm a grown woman
with a big life
569
00:24:21,632 --> 00:24:23,047
and a big career
and three kids.
570
00:24:23,047 --> 00:24:25,222
And this move is what
my daughter needs.
571
00:24:25,222 --> 00:24:27,845
I want you in my life
if you want to be in my life.
572
00:24:29,053 --> 00:24:31,193
But if I have to choose,
I'm going to pick me.
573
00:24:31,193 --> 00:24:34,265
I pick my kids, and I
pick what's best for us.
574
00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,751
And I am not going to beg you
to love me.
575
00:25:00,084 --> 00:25:01,672
I'm sorry
I was emotional earlier.
576
00:25:04,364 --> 00:25:07,575
Be sorry when you stop feeling
the losses.
577
00:25:07,575 --> 00:25:09,059
This was my last surgery here.
578
00:25:11,268 --> 00:25:13,822
I thought for sure I was
going out on a high.
579
00:25:13,822 --> 00:25:15,652
I know that
sounds shallow.
580
00:25:15,652 --> 00:25:17,999
No, it's devastating,
on every level.
581
00:25:20,933 --> 00:25:22,521
How's your grandmother?
582
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,074
Awful.
It's awful.
583
00:25:24,074 --> 00:25:26,525
She exclusively calls me
by my mother's name now,
584
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,905
which I can handle.
I didn't know my mother.
585
00:25:27,905 --> 00:25:30,252
But my sister,
she remembers my mother,
586
00:25:30,252 --> 00:25:31,668
she remembers
that I killed her.
587
00:25:31,668 --> 00:25:34,429
She was 6
when it happened and...
588
00:25:34,429 --> 00:25:37,225
she's never
forgiven me for it.
589
00:25:37,225 --> 00:25:39,054
And every time
my grandmother calls me
590
00:25:39,054 --> 00:25:41,229
by my mother's name,
she hates me more,
591
00:25:41,229 --> 00:25:43,024
and I don't know why I'm
telling you this, Chief Grey.
592
00:25:45,267 --> 00:25:48,029
Well, because you know
I know.
593
00:25:48,029 --> 00:25:49,375
And I don't work
here anymore,
594
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,653
so you can call me Meredith.
595
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:55,899
I have Tessa's book, Meredith.
596
00:25:57,279 --> 00:25:59,040
- What?
- She wrote her last book.
597
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,800
She saved it
on a thumb drive,
598
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,250
and she brought it
here to the hospital,
599
00:26:02,250 --> 00:26:03,527
which means after
she felt her pain,
600
00:26:03,527 --> 00:26:04,908
the first thing she did
601
00:26:04,908 --> 00:26:06,150
is go to her computer
and save her book.
602
00:26:08,532 --> 00:26:10,983
She wanted me to give it
to her publisher in Boston,
603
00:26:10,983 --> 00:26:13,710
and, um, I know you're--
you're going there today.
604
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,229
♪ Your color's fading
605
00:26:17,196 --> 00:26:19,750
♪ 'Cause I kept you waiting
606
00:26:19,750 --> 00:26:21,994
♪ It's a wild, wild world
607
00:26:21,994 --> 00:26:24,134
I'm so happy she got
to write her last story.
608
00:26:24,134 --> 00:26:28,172
♪ And you're a wild,
wild girl ♪
609
00:26:30,105 --> 00:26:31,866
Chief Grey?
Meredith?
610
00:26:31,866 --> 00:26:33,177
♪ Our sun's still shining
611
00:26:33,177 --> 00:26:35,248
♪ But it seems half the size I'm sorry.
612
00:26:35,248 --> 00:26:37,354
♪ And it's a wild, wild world
613
00:26:37,354 --> 00:26:39,080
My mentor once
told me you worry
614
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,289
when you stop
feeling the losses.
615
00:26:45,396 --> 00:26:50,298
♪ Before my time runs out
Let's go inside.
616
00:26:51,437 --> 00:26:57,236
♪ What if I run away to Mars?
617
00:26:59,548 --> 00:27:01,171
♪ Would you find me
in the stars? ♪
618
00:27:01,171 --> 00:27:02,966
The heart is completely
pumping on its own.
619
00:27:02,966 --> 00:27:09,593
♪ Would you miss me
in the end? ♪
620
00:27:09,593 --> 00:27:11,043
It worked?
621
00:27:11,043 --> 00:27:12,216
So far, yeah.
So far,
it worked, yeah.
622
00:27:12,216 --> 00:27:15,841
♪ If I run out of oxygen
623
00:27:15,841 --> 00:27:17,187
♪ When I run away
624
00:27:17,187 --> 00:27:18,844
Amelia, thank you.
625
00:27:18,844 --> 00:27:22,571
♪ To Mars
626
00:27:25,264 --> 00:27:29,026
Echo looks great.
VSD is closed.
627
00:27:29,026 --> 00:27:31,373
Outflow from the new arteries
looks good.
628
00:27:31,373 --> 00:27:32,823
It sure feels like we
saved that baby's life.
629
00:27:37,069 --> 00:27:39,865
Are you taking in
the miracle?
630
00:27:39,865 --> 00:27:42,419
That is exactly
what I'm doing.
631
00:27:42,419 --> 00:27:44,352
That was beyond
my wildest imagination
632
00:27:44,352 --> 00:27:45,802
of what my day would be.
633
00:27:45,802 --> 00:27:47,666
And not just this day,
which was awful
634
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,564
because my house-van got towed
with my whole life in it.
635
00:27:49,564 --> 00:27:52,222
That was beyond
my wildest imagination
636
00:27:52,222 --> 00:27:54,431
of what any day
of my life could be.
637
00:27:54,431 --> 00:27:57,745
The way that you saved
that tiny baby heart.
638
00:27:57,745 --> 00:27:58,815
I will never forget it.
639
00:27:58,815 --> 00:28:00,057
Did you say house-van?
640
00:28:00,057 --> 00:28:01,369
Yeah, you
sleep in a van?
641
00:28:01,369 --> 00:28:03,682
Oh, well, I can't afford
to get it out of impound,
642
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,684
so not tonight.
643
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:07,686
Anyway, thank you.
644
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:12,069
♪ Mars
645
00:28:12,069 --> 00:28:17,316
♪ Would you find me
in the stars? ♪
646
00:28:17,316 --> 00:28:19,525
Aunt Amy,
how did you do it?
647
00:28:19,525 --> 00:28:21,147
How did I do what?
648
00:28:21,147 --> 00:28:22,908
How did you stop caring
what other people think?
649
00:28:22,908 --> 00:28:25,531
My mom, your sisters,
they talk about you like--
650
00:28:25,531 --> 00:28:26,843
like-- like you
don't give a flying crap
651
00:28:26,843 --> 00:28:28,499
what anybody else thinks
652
00:28:28,499 --> 00:28:30,709
and, like, they're
a little jealous of that.
653
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:31,951
And I want to know
how you did it.
654
00:28:33,608 --> 00:28:36,542
Because I wanted to fight
for a patient today.
655
00:28:36,542 --> 00:28:38,751
My gut told me everything
she needed and I didn't do it
656
00:28:38,751 --> 00:28:40,649
because I was worried about
what other people would think.
657
00:28:40,649 --> 00:28:43,204
I-I was worried about
getting in trouble.
658
00:28:43,204 --> 00:28:45,724
You want to know
the truth?
659
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:50,729
The truth is I care deeply
what other people think.
660
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:54,733
And then I do what
I think is right anyway.
661
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,493
But I learned
that the hard way.
662
00:28:56,493 --> 00:28:58,150
I had to live
a lot of life
663
00:28:58,150 --> 00:28:59,496
before I became
the kind of person
664
00:28:59,496 --> 00:29:01,187
I like and respect.
665
00:29:04,052 --> 00:29:05,467
My patient died today.
666
00:29:07,676 --> 00:29:08,919
I should have fought.
667
00:29:10,990 --> 00:29:12,889
The good news is...
668
00:29:12,889 --> 00:29:14,442
you let that pain
soak in...
669
00:29:16,202 --> 00:29:19,309
...next time,
you will fight.
670
00:29:25,177 --> 00:29:27,213
Did you ever find
a place to live, Shep?
671
00:29:28,697 --> 00:29:32,184
Uh, yeah, I found a youth hostel
with a roach problem.
672
00:29:32,184 --> 00:29:34,220
And please
don't call me Shep.
673
00:29:34,220 --> 00:29:36,084
Then don't call me
Aunt Amy.
674
00:29:40,882 --> 00:29:42,504
Is that it?
675
00:29:42,504 --> 00:29:44,127
Straight from the oven
from the faraway bakery.
676
00:29:44,127 --> 00:29:47,199
You are truly, madly,
deeply the best.
677
00:29:47,199 --> 00:29:49,753
Wow, it's so much bigger
than I thought it would be.
678
00:29:49,753 --> 00:29:51,513
I know. It barely
fit in my car.
679
00:29:51,513 --> 00:29:53,584
Wait, what
do you mean bigger?
680
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:55,034
Did you check it?
681
00:29:55,034 --> 00:29:56,795
I gave them your name,
they gave me a cake.
682
00:30:04,768 --> 00:30:05,873
Well, there's no time
to take it back.
683
00:30:05,873 --> 00:30:07,322
What do we do?
684
00:30:21,129 --> 00:30:22,579
Oh, hey.
685
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,591
Oh.
686
00:30:34,591 --> 00:30:36,420
- Top of my class.
- What?
687
00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,767
I was top of my class at
an East Coast boarding school
688
00:30:38,767 --> 00:30:40,528
where my classmates
were doing designer drugs
689
00:30:40,528 --> 00:30:41,909
and cheating their way
to a passing grade.
690
00:30:41,909 --> 00:30:43,427
I was top of my class.
691
00:30:43,427 --> 00:30:45,015
And I didn't even drink
in high school.
692
00:30:45,015 --> 00:30:46,327
Well, this is
sparkling cider.
693
00:30:46,327 --> 00:30:48,501
Then I was second
in my class in undergrad,
694
00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:50,883
but that's because I had
a brutal case of mono
695
00:30:50,883 --> 00:30:52,816
my junior year,
which took me out for weeks,
696
00:30:52,816 --> 00:30:56,233
but in med school,
I was back up to number one.
697
00:30:56,233 --> 00:30:59,029
And I completed my
cardiothoracic fellowship
698
00:30:59,029 --> 00:31:01,342
at the Mayo Clinic before
coming here
699
00:31:01,342 --> 00:31:05,139
and training Cristina Yang
as a heart surgeon.
700
00:31:05,139 --> 00:31:07,486
I have an inarguable pedigree
and I find it insulting
701
00:31:07,486 --> 00:31:10,213
that you invite me to sit
on a panel to choose a chief
702
00:31:10,213 --> 00:31:12,525
without stopping to consider
offering me the job.
703
00:31:12,525 --> 00:31:15,425
Teddy, this hospital
just came out of a shutdown.
704
00:31:15,425 --> 00:31:17,876
Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey
both quit the job
705
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,153
that you're talking about,
706
00:31:19,153 --> 00:31:21,362
and their pedigree
is quite similar to yours.
707
00:31:21,362 --> 00:31:22,881
I didn't consider you
for the job
708
00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:24,813
because it
is a flailing program
709
00:31:24,813 --> 00:31:26,885
with a huge
amount of stress.
710
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,646
But by all means,
if you want it,
711
00:31:29,646 --> 00:31:32,062
it's yours.
712
00:31:32,062 --> 00:31:33,546
Really?
Is that a yes?
713
00:31:34,754 --> 00:31:35,894
Can I think about it?
714
00:31:40,415 --> 00:31:42,072
What is going on here?
715
00:31:42,072 --> 00:31:44,178
Oh, crap. She's here.
716
00:31:44,178 --> 00:31:45,904
Surprise!
717
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,009
Aw, Come on, people.
You can do better than this.
718
00:31:48,009 --> 00:31:49,666
Okay, ready?
719
00:31:49,666 --> 00:31:51,426
Surprise!
720
00:31:53,221 --> 00:31:54,602
Well, this
is very thoughtful.
721
00:31:56,155 --> 00:31:58,364
And ridiculous because
I'm only going to Boston,
722
00:31:58,364 --> 00:32:00,504
and you know I'll probably
be here next week.
723
00:32:00,504 --> 00:32:02,575
For God's sake, Grey,
will you just let us toast you?
724
00:32:03,991 --> 00:32:06,338
To Meredith Grey!
725
00:32:06,338 --> 00:32:08,064
♪ Been swimming
through shadows ♪
726
00:32:08,064 --> 00:32:09,755
You know,
once upon a time...
727
00:32:09,755 --> 00:32:11,136
♪ Moonrise
728
00:32:11,136 --> 00:32:14,346
...you were the bane
of my existence.
729
00:32:14,346 --> 00:32:18,315
But, no, you
grew up to become
730
00:32:18,315 --> 00:32:21,146
one of my greatest
points of pride.
731
00:32:21,146 --> 00:32:22,941
I'm...
732
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:27,635
♪ We keep run, run, running
from the cold ♪
733
00:32:30,051 --> 00:32:31,294
To-- Wa--
734
00:32:31,294 --> 00:32:33,227
♪ Keep my eyes wide open
735
00:32:33,227 --> 00:32:34,745
Okay, go. Go.
736
00:32:34,745 --> 00:32:39,336
Dr. Grey, what Dr. Bailey
is trying to say is...
737
00:32:39,336 --> 00:32:42,753
this place won't be
the same without you.
738
00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:46,999
♪ On my, my way
739
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:51,003
♪ Oh, you gotta keep on
feeding that fire ♪
740
00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:55,559
♪ Oh, you gotta keep on
dancing through the night ♪
741
00:32:55,559 --> 00:32:58,873
♪ Hey, let it fall
742
00:32:58,873 --> 00:33:00,288
To Meredith Grey.
743
00:33:00,288 --> 00:33:01,324
Hey. Hear, hear.
744
00:33:03,912 --> 00:33:08,124
♪ Hey
745
00:33:08,124 --> 00:33:09,677
Mom.
Yes?
746
00:33:09,677 --> 00:33:10,919
- It was amazing.
- Was it?
747
00:33:10,919 --> 00:33:12,473
Aunt Maggie
was amazing.
748
00:33:12,473 --> 00:33:14,233
Of course
she's amazing.
749
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:15,752
I think I might
want to change
750
00:33:15,752 --> 00:33:17,547
from neuro to cardio.
751
00:33:17,547 --> 00:33:19,238
Will you be mad?
752
00:33:19,238 --> 00:33:21,137
I will absolutely
not be mad.
753
00:33:22,862 --> 00:33:24,519
Did you
talk to Nick?
I did.
754
00:33:26,073 --> 00:33:27,212
We have
a plane to catch.
755
00:33:28,213 --> 00:33:29,593
Should we go?
756
00:33:29,593 --> 00:33:31,078
♪ Chasing the light
757
00:33:46,265 --> 00:33:47,542
Dr. Marsh.
758
00:33:48,371 --> 00:33:50,752
Helm.
759
00:33:50,752 --> 00:33:52,099
Hey.
760
00:33:53,686 --> 00:33:56,034
What are you
doing behind a bar?
761
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:57,311
Living my best life.
762
00:33:57,311 --> 00:33:59,209
What are you
doing at the bar?
763
00:34:00,452 --> 00:34:02,764
Uh, yeah, well, it was
a bit of a rough day,
764
00:34:02,764 --> 00:34:04,939
so I decided
to call it early.
765
00:34:04,939 --> 00:34:07,873
Actually, can I have
a whiskey rocks, please?
766
00:34:07,873 --> 00:34:09,909
Thank you.
I don't get it.
767
00:34:09,909 --> 00:34:12,498
Isn't Dr. Grey
leaving today?
768
00:34:12,498 --> 00:34:14,535
Isn't her party,
like, right now?
769
00:34:16,433 --> 00:34:17,710
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
770
00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:18,884
You are such an idiot.
771
00:34:18,884 --> 00:34:20,506
Wow.
772
00:34:22,336 --> 00:34:24,200
I don't work
there anymore,
773
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:25,718
so I'm just gonna
tell you the truth
774
00:34:25,718 --> 00:34:27,065
instead of pretending
to respect
775
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,342
your awful
decision making.
776
00:34:28,342 --> 00:34:29,998
She's Meredith Grey.
777
00:34:29,998 --> 00:34:31,862
She's impossible,
and she's perfect,
778
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,692
and she's brilliant,
and she cares.
779
00:34:33,692 --> 00:34:36,315
And she can be mean sometimes,
but only when she needs to be,
780
00:34:36,315 --> 00:34:38,110
and she can be
selfish sometimes
781
00:34:38,110 --> 00:34:40,354
because she has
earned that right.
782
00:34:40,354 --> 00:34:42,287
And for some stupid reason
she's into men
783
00:34:42,287 --> 00:34:43,495
so she never fell
in love with me,
784
00:34:43,495 --> 00:34:45,152
but she fell
in love with you.
785
00:34:46,532 --> 00:34:47,775
And you're here?
786
00:34:48,741 --> 00:34:50,329
How stupid are you?
787
00:35:04,895 --> 00:35:07,553
He's still going strong.
788
00:35:07,553 --> 00:35:09,555
I am in awe.
789
00:35:09,555 --> 00:35:12,731
It really
is a miracle.
790
00:35:12,731 --> 00:35:15,043
Yes.
Yeah.
791
00:35:15,043 --> 00:35:18,495
It is-- It's a miracle
of science, Winston.
792
00:35:18,495 --> 00:35:22,016
Specifically, it's a miracle
of cardiothoracic surgery.
793
00:35:22,016 --> 00:35:24,846
We did a thing that no one
else has done today,
794
00:35:24,846 --> 00:35:27,228
and-- and we
saved that baby's life.
795
00:35:27,228 --> 00:35:29,403
And if it worked
like I think it did,
796
00:35:29,403 --> 00:35:31,336
this miracle of science
is going to save
797
00:35:31,336 --> 00:35:34,477
thousands of babies' lives.
798
00:35:34,477 --> 00:35:36,824
That has to make you see
that you can't just change
799
00:35:36,824 --> 00:35:39,171
your field of study at this
stage of your career.
800
00:35:41,069 --> 00:35:43,831
You told me that you
didn't respect my choice--
801
00:35:43,831 --> 00:35:45,177
you said you
didn't respect me.
802
00:35:45,177 --> 00:35:46,558
- I didn't say that.
- And then there was a fire.
803
00:35:46,558 --> 00:35:48,042
You know, it was a lot.
804
00:35:48,042 --> 00:35:49,354
I gave you time,
and I gave you space,
805
00:35:49,354 --> 00:35:50,976
but for two weeks now,
I've been waiting
806
00:35:50,976 --> 00:35:52,495
for an apology
that hasn't come.
807
00:35:52,495 --> 00:35:54,566
And now
you're doubling down?
808
00:35:54,566 --> 00:35:56,154
You're-- There's no
apology coming
809
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:57,396
because you meant
what you said?
810
00:35:57,396 --> 00:35:59,053
I think
you'll reconsider--
811
00:35:59,053 --> 00:36:00,641
Yeah, changing my job
to protect my marriage.
812
00:36:00,641 --> 00:36:01,642
It's not a job.
813
00:36:01,642 --> 00:36:03,575
It's not a job.
814
00:36:03,575 --> 00:36:05,232
It is a gift.
815
00:36:05,232 --> 00:36:08,304
Alright.
816
00:36:08,304 --> 00:36:10,858
And just like that
the feeling is mutual.
817
00:36:10,858 --> 00:36:13,067
What feeling?
818
00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:15,173
You told Kwan that
his strategy to disengage
819
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,658
emotionally from his patients
was smart.
820
00:36:17,658 --> 00:36:19,522
What feeling?
821
00:36:19,522 --> 00:36:21,075
All this time, I don't--
I don't know how I missed it.
822
00:36:21,075 --> 00:36:22,835
Winston, what feeling?
823
00:36:22,835 --> 00:36:24,734
The disrespect.
824
00:36:24,734 --> 00:36:26,218
You're cold.
825
00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:28,462
And I don't respect it.
826
00:36:38,057 --> 00:36:39,507
Bailey,
w-w-where's Meredith?
827
00:36:39,507 --> 00:36:41,371
She's one of a kind.
828
00:36:41,371 --> 00:36:42,717
That's what I was trying to say.
She's one of a kind.
829
00:36:42,717 --> 00:36:44,029
A firecracker.
830
00:36:44,029 --> 00:36:45,479
- Yeah.
- Any words at all, really.
831
00:36:45,479 --> 00:36:47,032
Look, she's, uh,
on her way to the airport.
832
00:36:47,032 --> 00:36:49,103
But look, there's cake
if you need some.
833
00:36:49,103 --> 00:36:50,069
You look like
you need some.
834
00:36:52,658 --> 00:36:56,524
Well, fine.
More for me.
835
00:36:56,524 --> 00:36:58,664
Woman over PA: This is the final
boarding call for Flight 623.
836
00:36:58,664 --> 00:37:00,079
Any remaining passengers,
837
00:37:00,079 --> 00:37:02,150
please proceed
to the gate at this time.
838
00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:10,918
♪ Hold steady
839
00:37:10,918 --> 00:37:14,715
♪ This heaviness
840
00:37:14,715 --> 00:37:15,681
♪ Will break
841
00:37:15,681 --> 00:37:16,820
Come on, come on, come on.
842
00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:18,719
♪ Through the ground
843
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:26,554
♪ Take cover
844
00:37:26,554 --> 00:37:29,626
♪ What's underneath
845
00:37:29,626 --> 00:37:31,490
Oh, come on.
846
00:37:31,490 --> 00:37:32,905
Oh, my God.
847
00:37:32,905 --> 00:37:35,253
♪ Will find a way out
848
00:37:37,531 --> 00:37:38,532
Alright.
849
00:37:38,532 --> 00:37:40,292
Zola,
you can sit here.
850
00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:41,397
Guys, we're gonna
sit here.
851
00:37:43,019 --> 00:37:44,331
Go right in there.
852
00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:46,540
♪ Living in the lost
853
00:37:46,540 --> 00:37:52,546
I'm never gonna make it.
854
00:37:52,546 --> 00:37:54,513
♪ Falling through the motions
like a sinking stone ♪
855
00:37:54,513 --> 00:37:56,343
Okay.
856
00:37:56,343 --> 00:38:00,692
♪ Living in the lost
857
00:38:00,692 --> 00:38:03,867
♪ Seeking out the silence,
but you're never alone ♪
858
00:38:03,867 --> 00:38:08,665
♪ Living in the lost
859
00:38:08,665 --> 00:38:12,497
Who wants to read the new
Tessa book?
860
00:38:12,497 --> 00:38:14,568
Oh, Zola, I know these are
a little young for you,
861
00:38:14,568 --> 00:38:15,845
but this
is the last one ever.
862
00:38:15,845 --> 00:38:17,674
That's the book?
863
00:38:17,674 --> 00:38:19,435
Yes, I got
an advanced copy.
864
00:38:21,747 --> 00:38:23,093
Hold on, guys.
865
00:38:24,509 --> 00:38:26,200
Hi.
We're on the plane.
866
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,305
I love you.
867
00:38:29,445 --> 00:38:31,585
I fell in love with you
the first day I met you.
868
00:38:31,585 --> 00:38:34,242
I fell in love with you
the second day I met you.
869
00:38:34,242 --> 00:38:36,383
And I have loved you
every minute of every day
870
00:38:36,383 --> 00:38:38,005
that I have known you.
871
00:38:41,422 --> 00:38:43,528
Meredith?
872
00:38:43,528 --> 00:38:45,840
Um, I...
873
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,359
Meredith?
874
00:38:47,359 --> 00:38:50,189
I can't quite
hear you.
Meredith?
875
00:38:50,189 --> 00:38:51,674
We're about to take off,
876
00:38:51,674 --> 00:38:55,160
so I'll call you
when we get settled.
877
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,851
Meredith...
878
00:38:56,851 --> 00:38:58,370
Meredi--
879
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,350
"I've flown rockets
and slayed dragons,
880
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:16,526
I've saved lives
and I've had my life saved.
881
00:39:16,526 --> 00:39:19,149
I've been through broken
bones and a broken home
882
00:39:19,149 --> 00:39:22,463
and the death of people I love,
but I'm still here."
883
00:39:24,258 --> 00:39:26,467
"I never chose
the safety of what was known
884
00:39:26,467 --> 00:39:29,401
when there was the possibility
of more to be discovered."
885
00:39:29,401 --> 00:39:32,197
Hey.
886
00:39:32,197 --> 00:39:34,268
Could I stay
at your place tonight?
887
00:39:37,582 --> 00:39:40,136
"I've had adventures that
most people only dream about."
888
00:39:41,896 --> 00:39:43,726
♪ Nocturnal
889
00:39:43,726 --> 00:39:45,486
"And I've had losses
that I still dream about."
890
00:39:45,486 --> 00:39:49,179
♪ When the days and the nights
blend into one ♪
891
00:39:51,078 --> 00:39:52,562
"And if there's one thing
I've learned
892
00:39:52,562 --> 00:39:56,359
in all my adventures,
it's that there's no such thing
893
00:39:56,359 --> 00:39:59,397
as a life lived
happily ever after.
894
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:03,470
Unless the happily means
simply that we're still alive.
895
00:40:03,470 --> 00:40:06,162
That the sun is rising
on another day.
896
00:40:06,162 --> 00:40:07,474
Because with every sunrise
897
00:40:07,474 --> 00:40:09,476
comes the possibility
of happiness
898
00:40:09,476 --> 00:40:12,479
and also the possibility
of heartache."
899
00:40:12,479 --> 00:40:15,067
Uh, what are you doing here?
900
00:40:15,067 --> 00:40:16,241
Grey gave me a key.
901
00:40:16,241 --> 00:40:18,139
She said there's a hole
in the attic,
902
00:40:18,139 --> 00:40:21,453
but if I don't mind overseeing
the repairs, I can stay here.
903
00:40:21,453 --> 00:40:23,490
"And sometimes it's all
rolled up together."
904
00:40:23,490 --> 00:40:26,113
Yeah, my Aunt Amelia
told me the same thing.
905
00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:31,498
"I came to understand
as a very young child
906
00:40:31,498 --> 00:40:33,914
that when the imagination
is limitless,
907
00:40:33,914 --> 00:40:35,985
life's possibilities
are endless."
908
00:40:35,985 --> 00:40:39,091
When I got kicked out
of my residency,
909
00:40:39,091 --> 00:40:40,852
it also ended
my relationship.
910
00:40:40,852 --> 00:40:44,096
Had my dream job,
was planning my dream life,
911
00:40:44,096 --> 00:40:45,650
and then I didn't,
and I wasn't.
912
00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:47,306
"But I learned that
the hard way."
913
00:40:47,306 --> 00:40:49,861
It's not that
I don't feel things.
914
00:40:49,861 --> 00:40:51,034
It's that
I don't want to put
915
00:40:51,034 --> 00:40:56,074
you through
any kind of rebound.
916
00:40:56,074 --> 00:40:57,558
♪ Keep reaching and seeing if
I can just break my way out ♪
917
00:40:59,077 --> 00:41:01,148
I-I mean,
918
00:41:01,148 --> 00:41:03,357
I could be down
for a rebound.
919
00:41:03,357 --> 00:41:05,221
Did you really just say that?
920
00:41:07,223 --> 00:41:08,914
Um, okay,
w-what I'm saying is,
921
00:41:08,914 --> 00:41:10,571
you know, as long as
we call it what it is,
922
00:41:10,571 --> 00:41:13,194
then no harm,
no foul, right?
923
00:41:13,194 --> 00:41:15,093
Apparently
we live together
924
00:41:15,093 --> 00:41:17,336
so that's
a really, uh...
925
00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:21,375
...terrible idea.
926
00:41:21,375 --> 00:41:22,549
Yeah.
927
00:41:22,549 --> 00:41:24,861
♪ Oh
928
00:41:29,141 --> 00:41:31,558
♪ Nocturnal
929
00:41:31,558 --> 00:41:33,525
"I learned it through yearning
and frustration
930
00:41:33,525 --> 00:41:35,423
and ache and longing
931
00:41:35,423 --> 00:41:37,218
and sometimes desperation
for a life different
932
00:41:37,218 --> 00:41:38,565
than the one I was living."
933
00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:42,016
♪ Turned purple
934
00:41:42,016 --> 00:41:46,262
♪ All the air that I had gone
from my lungs ♪
935
00:41:47,608 --> 00:41:51,957
♪ Eyes are closing,
head spinning round ♪
936
00:41:51,957 --> 00:41:53,890
"I learned to stretch
my imagination
937
00:41:53,890 --> 00:41:55,616
and spread my wings,
938
00:41:55,616 --> 00:41:58,550
and to allow for all
the options life had to offer."
939
00:41:58,550 --> 00:42:05,039
♪ Oh
940
00:42:05,039 --> 00:42:08,042
"Not only the ones
I could see with my eyes.
941
00:42:08,042 --> 00:42:10,873
I stretch for the ones
I could feel with my heart."
942
00:42:13,220 --> 00:42:18,328
♪ Lost or found,
who am I now? ♪
943
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:20,676
Wow.
944
00:42:20,676 --> 00:42:22,850
This is amazing.
945
00:42:22,850 --> 00:42:26,613
♪ Before I hit the ground
946
00:42:26,613 --> 00:42:29,201
♪ Lost or found
947
00:42:29,201 --> 00:42:31,065
♪ Who am I now?
948
00:42:31,065 --> 00:42:33,689
What are
you doing here?
949
00:42:33,689 --> 00:42:35,622
Uh, Dr. Pierce
gave me a key.
950
00:42:35,622 --> 00:42:37,347
She said I could stay
951
00:42:37,347 --> 00:42:39,349
if I fix up the hole
in the attic.
952
00:42:41,731 --> 00:42:43,491
Same.
Same.
953
00:42:43,491 --> 00:42:45,666
"As long as the sun rises
on your life..."
954
00:42:45,666 --> 00:42:48,807
Then I guess we should have
brought sleeping bags.
955
00:42:48,807 --> 00:42:51,638
"...there will be new
dragons to slay."
956
00:42:51,638 --> 00:42:53,018
So, who wants pizza?
957
00:42:55,055 --> 00:42:58,472
"So the end of my story is not
any kind of ever after.
958
00:42:58,472 --> 00:43:00,232
Because I'm still alive.
959
00:43:00,232 --> 00:43:02,234
I'm still here.
960
00:43:02,234 --> 00:43:05,168
And the sun still
rises on my life."
961
00:43:05,168 --> 00:43:08,827
♪ Break my way out
962
00:43:08,827 --> 00:43:13,521
♪ Oh
963
00:43:28,778 --> 00:43:31,505
Captions by VITAC--
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