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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:48,526 In 3 world where only 0315 were living 2 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,988 where the heroes ran in short supply 3 00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:55,491 to a land so harsh and unforgiving 4 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:59,704 rode a hero, the blaz/ng samurai 5 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:04,333 when one town was found to be in danger 6 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:07,962 from the evildoers dropping by 7 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:11,257 who appeared? That brave and mighty stranger 8 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:15,803 to save the day came the blazing samurai 9 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:20,433 sent by the shogun with arrows and blowgun 10 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,686 his nunchucks could poke out an eye 11 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:29,275 trained in bushido, the samurai's credo he mastered a/kido 12 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,528 he really was one awesome guy 13 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,740 he was legend with his sword a-s wing/ng 14 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,660 I/illains feared his fearsome battle cry 15 00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,830 conquered hate with justice he was bringing 16 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,584 he took a stand to save the land 17 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:52,381 praise the blazing samurai 18 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,512 where did that come from? 19 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,014 The title department. 20 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,942 That blue should be more blue blue. 21 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,487 That's wrong. 22 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,490 You can't climb those. Start again. 23 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,034 You like these? 24 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,997 How's everything coming along? 25 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:28,000 The shogun is coming to visit in one week. 26 00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:30,753 Everyone knows he's trying to decide who his successor will be. 27 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,297 And if I have anything to do with it, it'll be me. 28 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:37,593 I've spared no expense making this the grandest palace in the land. 29 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,720 Imported mice to chase. 30 00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:41,680 Fine couches to ruin. 31 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,725 And the crown Jewel of the palace, 32 00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:47,269 my state-of-the-art bathroom. 33 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,939 Behold, the future! 34 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,775 I call it the super bowl. 35 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,236 Because that's what it is, a super bowl. 36 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,612 Impressive. 37 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,406 I hope the shogun thinks so. 38 00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:01,534 The only thing left to solve is our little problem. 39 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,661 - Kakamucho? - Precisely. 40 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,957 What do you do when you're a landlord, and you have tenants you really hate? 41 00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,583 You evict them. 42 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,378 But the town's been there for thousands of years. 43 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,381 I give you an order, and you give me facts. Really? 44 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,966 The only fact I'm interested in 45 00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:21,095 is that that hair ball of a town is ruining my magnificent view. 46 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,182 We've got to wipe them off the map to make this palace absolutely perfect. 47 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,185 But what about the samurai that's there to protect them? 48 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,939 Just get rid of their samurai! The fraidy-cats will follow. 49 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,067 But make sure it can't be traced back to me. 50 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,634 Bandits! 51 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,807 You warn the others. I'll get the samurai. 52 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,102 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 53 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,860 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 54 00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,156 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 55 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,167 Mr. Samurai! Mr. Samurai! 56 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,047 Bad cats are coming! We need your help! 57 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,842 I've got this. I know exactly what to do. 58 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,084 Samurai, we're coming for you! 59 00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:17,628 Bring it on, bandits! 60 00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,500 Oh, no! 61 00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:14,727 I know these events look dire, 62 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:18,272 but we must stand on our own four legs and fight. 63 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,399 This is our home. 64 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,902 It is the sacred place where our kittens were born 65 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:27,364 and where we will one day join our ancestors 66 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,700 in a shoebox buried behind the garage. 67 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,205 Dr. Katz, you have something to say? 68 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,291 No, I just got a hair ball. 69 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,794 What we need is a samurai. 70 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:44,590 We still can't find the last one. We even put up posters. 71 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,387 What we need is a new samurai. 72 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,473 Not it! 73 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,016 No! Think. 74 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,226 Where did we get our old samurai? 75 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,686 Samurais "r" us? 76 00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:00,356 No, from the shogun! 77 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,192 So why don't we ask the shogun to send us a new one? 78 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,570 Okay, I've got it. 79 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,657 Why don't we ask the shogun to send us a new one? 80 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,005 Work, work, work. Let's see, what's on the agenda today? 81 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,799 Catfights on the western front. 82 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,551 Cat-scratch fever breaking out in the east. 83 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:34,431 What's this? Our sacred soil has been soiled by a dog who crossed the border? 84 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,058 Probably a border collie. 85 00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:38,811 Fortunately, he's been apprehended. 86 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,979 Oh, well. You break the law, you pay the price. 87 00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,315 It's not personal, it's just business. 88 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,650 And you know what they say, 89 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,403 "there's no business like shogun business!" 90 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,155 I've got an urgent message! 91 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,866 I've got an urgent message! 92 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,618 From the cats of kakamucho! 93 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,453 Well, spit it out. 94 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,708 An urgent tweet from kakamucho? 95 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,046 "Bandits ravaging village, stop. We need a new samurai, stop. 96 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,716 This reign of terror has to stop, stop." 97 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,802 Okay, tell them I'll send someone right away. 98 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,683 Marmalade! I need to make a call. 99 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,143 Get me what's-his-name. 100 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,311 I have ika chu on line two. 101 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,980 Good, very good, yes. 102 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,441 Pikachu, how's it going? 103 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,335 - Pikachu, how's it going? - Peek-a-boo, how's it going? 104 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,485 Peek-a-who... peek-a-you... 105 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,662 Koo koo roo... Scooby-doo... toodle-oo... 106 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,709 Pikachu, how's it going? 107 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,587 It's ika chu, my divine fabulousness. 108 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:50,466 I'm so excited and grateful that you will honor me with your presence 109 00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,593 for the unveiling of my latest creation. 110 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,803 I promise to amaze you. 111 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:58,557 Listen, I gave you a call because I just got this urgent appeal 112 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,309 from the town of kakamucho. 113 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:03,353 Seems they've been set upon by bandits! 114 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:07,024 Can't have ordinary law-abiding cats terrorized, can we? 115 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,860 Of course we can't, your worshipfulness. 116 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154 I promised them we'd send a new samurai 117 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,656 and I'm putting you in charge of it, Nike shoe. 118 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:18,535 - Oh, sir, I'm so excited and grateful. - Good, good. 119 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,497 And don't forget, I'll be there next week to see my new palace. 120 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,166 Looking foward to you knocking my socks off. 121 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,460 Hey, I'm gonna have to put you on hold. 122 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,753 Here, hold this. 123 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:34,051 No, no, no! This could ruin everything. 124 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:38,680 "Send a new samurai to kakamucho." I just got rid of the last one! 125 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,891 I have to do what the shogun says 126 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:45,270 but in a way that will benefit me. 127 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,731 Yes, that's it! I need a new plan. 128 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,484 But what can that plan be? 129 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694 Why am I asking you? 130 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,493 All right, get up. 131 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,576 It's time. 132 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,830 Here, this is for you. 133 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,122 What's that for? 134 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,542 Oh, that. That's for your execution. 135 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,669 What? But I haven't done anything. 136 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:09,753 I don't understand. 137 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:13,298 You came to this country illegally. It's strictly no dogs allowed. 138 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,467 Didn't you know? Cats hate dogs. 139 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,553 But dogs are lovable. How could you hate a dog? 140 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,805 My dad hated dogs and that's good enough for me. 141 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,682 It's not really based on logic. 142 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:25,018 - It just feels right to hate, you know? - Yeah, makes sense to me. 143 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,855 Now severing number one. 144 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,606 Number one? 145 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,066 Number one. 146 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,695 - I don't want to. - What? 147 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,947 I don't want to do that. I don't want to go up there. 148 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,575 - Okay, then. You don't have to. - Really? Thank you. 149 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:43,036 Of course. I mean, what are we, barbarians? 150 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,496 Archers! 151 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,791 Hey! I'm trying to think up here! 152 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,875 I know you got a lot of prisoners to kill, but please, can you keep it down? 153 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,963 - Sorry! - Yeah? Thank you. 154 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,053 There he goes. 155 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,308 - Get him! - Come on, move! 156 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,942 Hey, can't we just talk this out? 157 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,819 - I don't speak dog. - But wait. 158 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,405 - We're communicating right now. - No, we're not. 159 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,490 - You just understood me. - No, I didn't. 160 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,202 You should've never come here, dog! You don't belong. 161 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,247 There he is! 162 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,181 Doggone it! 163 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,725 Plan, plan... 164 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,394 What I need... yes! 165 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:54,107 I'll send the worst samurai in the entire world, 166 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:55,567 and they do a terrible job. 167 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,528 But where do you look for something truly bad? 168 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:02,908 Wait, please! I only came to your country to learn to be a samurai. 169 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,286 As if a dog could ever become a samurai. 170 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,872 Never! A dog. 171 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,874 A dog! 172 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,292 Hold your fire! 173 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:19,091 - Nice save. - Always happy to lend a hand. 174 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,636 Hi there. Who's a good dog? 175 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,305 Yeah, who's a good dog? Who's a good dog? 176 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,989 Does this mean you're not gonna kill me? 177 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,895 On the contrary! Let's talk about what you can do for me. 178 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:35,857 I am offering to make you the new samurai of kakamucho. 179 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,193 - Kakamucho? What's that? - In the way. 180 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:42,906 But that's not as important as you are at this lucky, lucky moment. 181 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,450 Are you sure I'm ready to defend an entire town? 182 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,869 Maybe I should start out as a mall samurai. 183 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:48,953 What? 184 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,581 No, no. 185 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,501 Time to get my new samurai to kakamucho, 186 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,795 so you can hurry up and die-i-ive... 187 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,505 Dive right in. 188 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,385 Whoa, uh... 189 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:08,015 So, do I get a badge or a certificate or a... 190 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,225 You know, something official-like? 191 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,153 There you go. Makes it all official. 192 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,196 Wow. A samurai cup. 193 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,782 Yes, they've all got one. Just show that around. 194 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,244 "Wow, he's got a cup. He's a samurai. We'd better do what he says." 195 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:33,040 Well, better get going. That town isn't gonna samurai itself. 196 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,876 But I don't know where I'm going! 197 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,212 Don't worry, the horse knows. He's got GPS. 198 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:42,049 Giddy-up, uh, positioning system. 199 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:45,343 Why are you sending the dog to defend kakamucho? 200 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,803 They will kill him. 201 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,514 And the orphanage said you would never speak. 202 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,391 Yes, they will kill him. 203 00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:55,270 And killing an official samurai... Why, that's against the law! 204 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,147 I would have to arrest all of them. 205 00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:02,235 And that would leave no one in the town where I want no one. 206 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,158 You did know where we were going. 207 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:12,746 It's the latest thing. It's called a "gun." 208 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,039 Is it dangerous? 209 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:18,585 Don't be silly, guns don't kill cats. Cars and curiosity kill cats. 210 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:19,669 What's a car? 211 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,588 Careful. You're being curious. 212 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,340 He's coming, he's coming! 213 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,066 There he is! The new samurai! 214 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,492 The new samurai's a dog. 215 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,035 He's a what? 216 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,080 The new samurai is a dog! 217 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,749 The new samurai is a dong? 218 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,170 "Welcome to kakamucho." 219 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,924 Okay. Here goes nothing. 220 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,643 Welcoming committee? 221 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,936 Maybe this won't be so bad. 222 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,064 Okay, first day on the job. Make eye contact, smile... 223 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:45,714 - It's a dog! - He's gonna ruin everything! 224 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,049 Let's kill him before the new samurai arrives. 225 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,342 Sic him! 226 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,181 Kill him! Tear him up! 227 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,109 Sit! 228 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,196 Now that's what I call wokking the dog. 229 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:13,200 Yeah, because she hit that dog with a wok! 230 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,745 Is he dead? 231 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:19,247 Hey, see if he has any snacks in his pockets. 232 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,252 Oh, it's a trick! He's playing dead. 233 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,545 - Bad doggy! - Dang it. 234 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:27,756 - Sic him! - Wait, can we just talk for one minute? 235 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,839 Shut up, dog! 236 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,801 I am the new samurai, I am! Look, here's my cup. 237 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,429 Let him have it! 238 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,432 Stop! He is the new samurai. 239 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,270 It says he's been appointed by the shogun himself. 240 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,982 Well, that is... wow. I did not see that coming. 241 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,319 Give me that! You must be confused, little girl. 242 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,949 Well, this is certainly disappointing. 243 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,116 What is? 244 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,201 I can't read. 245 00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,454 She is right. It's official. 246 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,456 So we cannot kill him? 247 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,539 Yeah, no. 248 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,627 Yeah, I know, I know. We're all disappointed. 249 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,170 But we can still hate him, right? 250 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,588 Absolutely! 251 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,134 You are, number one, not a cat. 252 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,596 Number two, you are a dog, so that goes back to you not being a cat. 253 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,891 And three, you are definitely not a samurai 254 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,686 because you are a dog, and that goes back to you not being a cat. 255 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,146 Go back where you came from, car chaser! 256 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,482 Again, what's a car? 257 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,901 Stop being curious. You'll kill us all. 258 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,326 Are you really a dog? 259 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:40,704 - Yes, I am a dog. - Told you. 260 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,124 I didn't know dogs could be samurai. 261 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,001 Well, they can, and I... 262 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,253 - Wait, why not? - Your sword's on backwards. 263 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,213 No, it's not, actually. Is it? 264 00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,968 - Do you know how this is supposed to go? - I know a few things about samurai-ing. 265 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,305 Fair enough. How about I deputize you as my official assistant? 266 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,265 Bad dog! 267 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,348 Don't talk to him. 268 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:04,227 Did you touch him? Time to use our hand sanitizers. 269 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,981 No, no, no! 270 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,733 Doggamn it! 271 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,359 What kind of a world do we live in 272 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,737 where good and upright citizens can't be counted on 273 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,905 to kill someone just because they look different? 274 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,408 We could try beating them up again. 275 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,619 Only problem is they still have a samurai. 276 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,247 You're kidding me, right? He's a labradork. 277 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,208 Put his tail between his legs and let's finish this! 278 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,093 Okay. Here goes nothing. 279 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,611 Wow. 280 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,826 Excellent. 281 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,955 That's right. I'm a samurai now! 282 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:09,250 Take that! Take that! Oh, yeah! 283 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,848 How 'bout a little nip? 284 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,892 A little catnip. 285 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,270 - I don't think I'm... - More for me. 286 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,398 Who are you? 287 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,775 My friends call me jimbo. 288 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,820 And since I have no friends, 289 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:39,989 I guess you can call me jimbo too. 290 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,742 I guess it works either way. 291 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,662 Well, jimbo, I'm Hank, 292 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,955 and I'm the new samurai. 293 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,582 New samurai, huh? 294 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,876 You know, your sword's on backwards. 295 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,838 Oh, and I suppose you know everything because you're a samurai. 296 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,297 I know you're not. 297 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:59,342 - Why, because I'm a dog? - No, because you're an idiot. 298 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,012 No real samurai would be caught dead wearing that. 299 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,974 Is that a bathrobe? You get that from a hotel? 300 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,518 You're not a samurai, are you? 301 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,688 I know. Right. I'm not. 302 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:15,108 I came here to learn to be a samurai, and then I got this job, 303 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,694 but I don't have the slightest idea what I'm doing. 304 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,987 Is there a book? 305 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,614 You know, an instruction manual, like how to be a samurai? 306 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,949 You mean samurai for dummies? 307 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,242 -Yes! 308 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,952 That would be dumb. 309 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,252 Ow! Okay, that hurts. 310 00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,254 Okay, ow! Oh, that's... agh! 311 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,060 You'd better get out there. 312 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,062 It's samurai time. 313 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,939 You're the samurai, right? 314 00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:59,402 - It looks a little dangerous out there. - Oh, yeah, dangerous. 315 00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,156 That's n.W.A. Out there. Ninjas with attitude. 316 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:07,368 But you go ahead, it'll be great! You are the samurai. 317 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,499 - Look at that. It's that mean old lady. - Yes, it is. 318 00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,084 - Now I have to... - Yes, you do. 319 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,712 Maybe I could just go talk to them. You know, work this out. 320 00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,088 - You should do that. - I will. 321 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,632 You go reason with them. 322 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,931 Uh, excuse me? 323 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,601 Excuse me, please. 324 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:33,937 Excuse me! 325 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:39,734 Get lost, dog. This is cat business! 326 00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:43,404 Don't listen to him. You guys are doing a great job. 327 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,285 Sword's still on the wrong side. 328 00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:58,628 My eyes are up here. 329 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,008 Right in the eye. 330 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:10,098 Interesting choice, using your face to block those punches. 331 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:11,599 I wouldn't have considered that. 332 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:15,270 - Yeah, well, what do you know? - Enough not to get my butt kicked. 333 00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,272 I got to get some samurai training. 334 00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:19,232 I don't think training can help you. 335 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,276 Couldn't hurt. What am I supposed to do? 336 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,320 If I were you, I would consider going home. 337 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:25,780 Maybe being a lapdog. 338 00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:27,657 - I can't leave. - Sure you can. 339 00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:31,327 I've got nowhere else to go! It took everything I had to come here. 340 00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:35,123 Then it's, "hey, get shot full of arrows or take this job," so here I am. 341 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:38,585 I've got to make this samurai thing work. I have to. But first I need to learn. 342 00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,295 Sounds like you need a mentor. 343 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,046 Dog breath? 344 00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:45,800 Not mentos. Mentor! A teacher. 345 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:49,596 To take you under his wing, teach you all he knows. That kind of thing. 346 00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,431 That's exactly what I need. 347 00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:55,435 Perhaps a once-great samurai who has fallen on hard times 348 00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,687 and maybe could use some help himself. 349 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,147 But where could I find one? 350 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,277 Hey! It's you! 351 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,447 What? Get out of here! Who even made that? 352 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,799 Don't believe everything you read. 353 00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:12,785 This is traditionally the place in a movie where the hero meets his big opportunity. 354 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,038 You're my guy. Come on, train me. 355 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,332 - But you're a dog. - Is that what's bothering you? 356 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:20,376 There's a lot about you that's bothering me. 357 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,086 Like, for instance, how you got here. 358 00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,213 It wasn't easy, that's for sure. 359 00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:27,842 I had to cross impassable seas, unclimbable mountains 360 00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:31,012 and really nasty midtown trafl'ic. 361 00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:34,307 But why do you want to be a samurai? 362 00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:37,894 I was always the runt. Everybody always picked on me. 363 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:42,482 Ilived in a bad neighborhood in a bad part of town full of bad dogs. 364 00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:10,551 But this day, someth/ng awesome happened. 365 00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:13,388 He moved almost faster than your eye could see. 366 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:41,582 And then he was gone. 367 00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:45,420 A samurai in a strange land took the time to help... 368 00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:51,592 That's why I came here. To learn to be just like him. 369 00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,594 I even kept his sword. 370 00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:57,432 I've been wondering where that went. Thank you! 371 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:02,729 Wait a minute. 372 00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:04,981 That's your sword? 373 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:06,941 Then that means you're... 374 00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:08,776 I don't want to talk about it. 375 00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:13,072 But will you train me? 376 00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:14,824 - Nope. - Why? 377 00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:18,327 - Because you're so busy? - No, because you're so brainless. 378 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,164 I showed you my movie, the whole flashback thing. 379 00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:22,248 I don't believe it! 380 00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:23,583 I'm out of here. 381 00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,795 And I never want to see you again. 382 00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:39,599 You. 383 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:41,517 How much did you hear? 384 00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,187 Samurai Hank needs your help. 385 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,856 Are you not bound by your samurai oath to help him? 386 00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:49,499 You mean the one that says I can't turn my back on those in need? 387 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,319 Yeah, that one. 388 00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:55,198 Well, maybe. 389 00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,366 That's not what... 390 00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:02,205 Stupid oath! 391 00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:05,041 The cuteness is strong with this one. 392 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:10,254 - What's this? - It is a contract 393 00:27:10,338 --> 00:27:13,883 between a student, you, and a teacher, me. 394 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,010 Uh, why do we need a contract? 395 00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:19,472 Because at this moment it would be so nice if I weren't here. 396 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,225 And if you break this contract, I won't be. 397 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,352 Besides, it's very straightfon/vard. 398 00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:27,275 You swear to be brave, honorable, protect those in need, not seek glory, 399 00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:30,900 finish what you start and always obey your master. 400 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:33,069 - The samurai oath! - Yes. 401 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:37,365 And if you break it, our contract is broken. And you go home. 402 00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:39,325 Should I have my attorney look at that first? 403 00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:42,286 We don't have that kind of time. Now, sign here. 404 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:01,429 Defend yourself! 405 00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:04,392 What am I supposed to do with a stick? 406 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:05,518 Lesson one. 407 00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:09,981 It is not so important what you do as it is important that you do something. 408 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,024 A warrior has catlike reflexes. 409 00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,151 - I'm not a cat, I'm a dog! - Nobody's perfect. 410 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,784 Wait. That music. 411 00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:24,078 Hey, this is the training montage, isn't it? 412 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:26,330 Can't we just skip ahead to the part where I'm good? 413 00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:30,042 No. This is my favorite part. The part where you suffer. 414 00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:42,763 Cross the river! Any way you can! 415 00:28:53,691 --> 00:28:57,028 To a cat, nothing is unclimbable! 416 00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,655 Did I mention I wasn't a cat? 417 00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:03,951 Just make it to the other side of the wall. Then you will be ready. 418 00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:09,165 Want to give me a hand? 419 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,377 Very funny! 420 00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:15,296 Don't forget to land on your... 421 00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:17,964 Feet. 422 00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:34,649 Nope. 423 00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:38,610 Nope. 424 00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:46,702 Uh-uh. Nope. 425 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:11,644 I'm starting to think you don't know what you're doing. 426 00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,396 I know exactly what I'm doing. 427 00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:16,857 I'm talking about training. You said you could make me a samurai. 428 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:21,988 I can make you a pizza. But I cannot make you into anything. 429 00:30:22,071 --> 00:30:24,156 That power's only within yourself. 430 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,118 You said you would help me, not just whack me with stuff. 431 00:30:27,201 --> 00:30:29,787 I've been whacked my whole life. That's why I came here. 432 00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,330 To learn to be a samurai. 433 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:38,295 You want glory. You know nothing of being a true samurai. 434 00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,815 I'm starting to think you don't either. 435 00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:43,009 And you know what? I don't even believe you are a real samurai. 436 00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,032 So what happened to you? 437 00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,700 How did you go from being a samurai 438 00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,703 to a washed-up loser who drinks too much catnip, 439 00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,747 has an obvious weight problem, 440 00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:15,249 no real friends to speak of, is prediabetic... 441 00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:16,542 That's enough! 442 00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,838 There was a time I was chief bodyguard 443 00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:24,842 of a very important official named toshiro tyfune. 444 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:28,554 He was a real cool cat. With greatness ahead of him. 445 00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:30,323 - Is this gonna be a flashback? - Don't interrupt me. 446 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,160 If it's a flashback, you should project it. It really brings it to life. 447 00:31:33,184 --> 00:31:35,624 I don't need the projector. It's an old-fashioned remembering. 448 00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:37,146 Now stop interrupting. 449 00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:41,942 We'd been summoned to a meeting late one night. 450 00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:46,155 It was all very mysterious. 451 00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:49,325 Just didn't feel right. 452 00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:17,895 It's an ambush! Get down! 453 00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:35,412 "Happy birthday"? 454 00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:41,877 I not only rumed 455 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:46,257 the biggest night of his life, I spayed and neutered his in-laws. 456 00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:49,176 I broke my samurai oath. 457 00:32:50,219 --> 00:32:51,387 I was shamed. 458 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,472 That's why I left. 459 00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:58,727 I'll make you a deal. 460 00:32:59,353 --> 00:33:00,688 We'll help each other. 461 00:33:04,775 --> 00:33:06,110 Not helpful. 462 00:33:33,888 --> 00:33:37,141 Today we begin something new. 463 00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:41,187 I learned I cannot teach a dog to be a cat. 464 00:33:41,687 --> 00:33:45,774 What I must do is teach a dog to be a better dog. 465 00:33:46,859 --> 00:33:47,860 What's that? 466 00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,070 The blindfold is to help you focus. 467 00:33:51,238 --> 00:33:53,449 Now listen. Tell me what you hear. 468 00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:55,701 I hear you talking and moving. 469 00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:57,536 - Good. - I hear a bird. 470 00:33:58,329 --> 00:34:00,623 - That's it. - I smell flowers actually. 471 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,500 Dogs have a keen sense of smell and excellent hearing. 472 00:34:03,584 --> 00:34:04,710 I hear a dragonfly. 473 00:34:07,338 --> 00:34:09,006 I smell wood burning. 474 00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,341 I smell tea brewing. 475 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:17,431 Hey, are you making nachos? 'Cause someone just cut the cheese. 476 00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:19,683 Lesson over. 477 00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:21,518 Well done. 478 00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:27,983 In battle as in life, 479 00:34:28,943 --> 00:34:31,487 a samurai strives to maintain his balance. 480 00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:38,035 And always defeats strength with smart. 481 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,756 I can dig it! 482 00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:55,719 You must control your fear, or fear will control you. 483 00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:06,647 It is a dance in which a samurai controls his space and his body. 484 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,371 What are you learning? 485 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,915 I don't like sticks as much as I used to? 486 00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,750 What are you learning in here? 487 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:30,504 It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in... 488 00:35:30,587 --> 00:35:34,717 No! It is the size of the dog in the fight. 489 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,428 A big dog has fewer problems. Let me demonstrate. 490 00:35:37,928 --> 00:35:39,179 Hold this. 491 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:42,598 See? 492 00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:45,019 That wouldn't happen to a big dog. 493 00:35:49,690 --> 00:35:51,358 We're still behind schedule. 494 00:35:51,859 --> 00:35:54,361 The shogun will be here in three days! 495 00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:01,327 Oops. 496 00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:10,294 I'm surrounded by imbeciles! Complete morons! 497 00:36:10,377 --> 00:36:14,548 It must be so hard for you. The Patience and kindness that you show. 498 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:17,468 Ohga, don't take this the wrong way, okay? 499 00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:22,306 But you are a total failure and a major disappointment. No offense. 500 00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:25,267 None taken. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 501 00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:30,105 I didn't expect much of you, and you still disappointed me. 502 00:36:30,189 --> 00:36:31,273 Listen. 503 00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:35,527 The cats of kakamucho are no closer to leaving than when we started. 504 00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:40,157 If you can't get the job done, perhaps it's time for a real professional. 505 00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:42,534 Send in the beast. 506 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:50,501 Now get out. 507 00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:32,352 Do you mind? You're harshing my mellow. 508 00:38:32,436 --> 00:38:34,021 Oh. Sorry. 509 00:38:34,104 --> 00:38:36,732 - Teach me something. - How about Patience? 510 00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,609 Come on, teach me anything. 511 00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:41,195 Seriously, let's do this. I'm ready for it. 512 00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:44,615 - How about these? - You're not ready for those. 513 00:38:44,698 --> 00:38:45,824 How hard can it be? 514 00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:51,747 Samurai Hank! 515 00:38:52,456 --> 00:38:53,832 Sumo is in town! 516 00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:56,251 - What's a sumo? - He's a giant! 517 00:38:56,335 --> 00:38:58,712 Samurai Hank, you have to do something! 518 00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:01,256 - Right. - Oh, no! 519 00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:03,800 No, no, no, no, no. 520 00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:06,970 No way! You are not ready. Not even close. 521 00:39:07,054 --> 00:39:08,931 - Okay, then we'll go together. - No, no, no. 522 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:12,851 Not my job. Not my fight. And you are not prepared. 523 00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:14,978 So is someone going to do something? 524 00:39:15,062 --> 00:39:19,233 - Yeah, is someone gonna do something? - No, someone's not. 525 00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,502 You know she's gonna go over there. 526 00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,212 Not my student. 527 00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:41,880 Not my problem. 528 00:39:56,019 --> 00:39:57,020 Sword! 529 00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:37,436 What are you doing? I had him! 530 00:40:37,519 --> 00:40:39,646 I know you did, but this is kind of my job. 531 00:40:39,730 --> 00:40:41,857 I could totally take that guy! 532 00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:50,824 You should know that I am a highly trained... mostly trained... warrior 533 00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:53,827 skilled in the ways of karate and swordplay. 534 00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,579 As well as musical theater. 535 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,873 In your own best interest, you should surrender. 536 00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,082 You're under arrest! 537 00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:07,674 Wait! 538 00:41:07,758 --> 00:41:09,176 You've got something on your... 539 00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:21,438 Sumo have edamame bean on face. 540 00:41:21,521 --> 00:41:23,649 Sumo very allergic. 541 00:41:23,732 --> 00:41:26,151 So, we're all good then? 542 00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:28,945 Jimbo? 543 00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:31,865 Is your plan to let him hit you until he gets tired? 544 00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:33,867 - Maybe. - Bold plan. 545 00:41:36,328 --> 00:41:37,496 Here he comes! 546 00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,553 You wanted to be a samurai. Fun, isn't it? 547 00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:54,638 Now go get him! 548 00:41:55,347 --> 00:41:56,765 You can do it, Hank! 549 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,040 He has told you his weakness. Remember, you defeat strength with smart. 550 00:42:22,124 --> 00:42:23,667 Now get back out there. 551 00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:34,010 Head in the game, Hank! 552 00:43:11,882 --> 00:43:14,760 Yeah! That just happened! 553 00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:16,678 I'm a bad dog. 554 00:43:19,097 --> 00:43:21,558 Did you see what I just did there? It was beautiful. 555 00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:23,685 And I would say "congratulations," 556 00:43:23,769 --> 00:43:26,021 but since you're already doing that yourself, 557 00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:27,272 let's get him to a doctor. 558 00:43:27,355 --> 00:43:29,399 Oh, yeah, absolutely. Got to do that. 559 00:43:29,483 --> 00:43:31,735 I might've really hurt him. I mean, look at him. 560 00:43:49,795 --> 00:43:50,795 Did that hurt? 561 00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:52,714 Didn't feel a thing. 562 00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:57,719 What about that? 563 00:43:57,803 --> 00:43:58,929 Nope. 564 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:06,436 Listen, sorry I had to do all this to you. 565 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,688 Sometimes I'm surprised by my own strength. 566 00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:10,440 There's a new sheriff in town, all right? 567 00:44:10,524 --> 00:44:13,109 Better not let me catch you breaking the law again, you feel me? 568 00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:17,155 You're free to go. 569 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,783 No one ever beat sumo before. 570 00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:25,121 No one ever nice before. Now have feelings for Hank. 571 00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:30,085 Sumo want to live in kakamucho with Hank. 572 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:33,630 Well, who doesn't? Safe town like this one with great law enforcement. 573 00:44:34,381 --> 00:44:35,757 Psst! It's for you. 574 00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:43,223 I wanted to say thank you for defeating sumo. 575 00:44:43,306 --> 00:44:44,307 And you are welcome. 576 00:44:44,391 --> 00:44:47,686 Only one thing. We can never talk on the street or anything like that. 577 00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,689 It just wouldn't look right, you being a... you know. 578 00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:52,065 Yeah, I got you. 579 00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:53,149 Here. 580 00:44:56,278 --> 00:44:58,405 Thank you. You're Chuck, right? 581 00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:00,699 - Mmm, no. - Chuck! 582 00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:03,493 - We have to go. - I have to go. 583 00:45:07,914 --> 00:45:09,416 Samurai Hank? 584 00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:11,668 We wanted to give you something. 585 00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:12,752 "We"? 586 00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:16,798 So your mom wanted to throw me a bone? 587 00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:18,884 No, my mom said to hand it to you. 588 00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:20,010 Why would she do that? 589 00:45:20,093 --> 00:45:23,638 Well, if I threw it, it might get on the ground, all dirty and icky. 590 00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:26,224 No, I meant why would she want to give me something? 591 00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:28,184 To thank you for saving our town. 592 00:45:28,268 --> 00:45:31,187 You are the best dog samurai I have ever seen. 593 00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:33,398 I am the only dog samurai you have ever seen. 594 00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:35,400 But I got to say, you're kind of right. 595 00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:38,236 I am mighty impressive as far as samurais go. 596 00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:42,449 Are you all finished? 597 00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:45,577 'Cause it's getting late, and a samurai needs his sleep. 598 00:45:58,673 --> 00:46:01,384 Really looks like things are turning around for me, eh? 599 00:46:01,468 --> 00:46:03,678 You got lucky, kid. Don't let it go to your head. 600 00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:05,263 Luck? Please. 601 00:46:05,347 --> 00:46:07,432 I should be registered as a lethal weapon. 602 00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,395 Pride goeth before a fall. 603 00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,357 What do you mean, your ninjas are afraid? 604 00:46:16,441 --> 00:46:19,402 Since the dog defeated sumo, none of my cats want... 605 00:46:19,486 --> 00:46:23,114 The shogun will be here in two days! I don't care if your ninja are afraid. 606 00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:26,910 Take them down to that roadblock of a town and really just... 607 00:46:29,746 --> 00:46:32,624 - You know what I've done? - Your hair and a catty-pedi? 608 00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:34,000 Yes. But no. 609 00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:37,754 I've outsmarted my own self by employing that dog. 610 00:46:38,797 --> 00:46:40,173 Oh, nice. 611 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,133 Me likey. 612 00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:45,512 The problem with the good citizens of kakamucho 613 00:46:45,595 --> 00:46:48,056 is there are too many good citizens in kakamucho. 614 00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:51,351 It's time to take care of this mutt myself 615 00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:53,228 with the ultimate weapon. 616 00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:04,781 Sumo, like butterfly that was once caterpillar, 617 00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,825 fly like dandelion. 618 00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:09,494 It's a hat. And this one's a boat. 619 00:47:09,577 --> 00:47:10,829 That is really good. 620 00:47:16,543 --> 00:47:17,961 Oops. That was the hat. 621 00:47:18,628 --> 00:47:20,588 - What did you make? - A swan. 622 00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:23,133 And some other stuff. 623 00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:27,345 Oh, wow. That's amazing. 624 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:30,390 You can make anything out of folded paper. 625 00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:32,100 All right, make me a sandwich. 626 00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,854 It's not a sandwich, but here, I made you something. 627 00:47:36,563 --> 00:47:37,689 For good luck. 628 00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:39,649 Looks like me. 629 00:47:39,733 --> 00:47:42,193 It will always remind you of who you are. 630 00:47:42,694 --> 00:47:46,114 Who you are? Let's concentrate on who you are not. 631 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,074 And that would be a samurai. 632 00:47:48,158 --> 00:47:51,119 Come on, jimbo, we're just enjoying a beautiful day. 633 00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:53,455 The sun is shining, birds are singing. 634 00:47:53,997 --> 00:47:56,833 And besides, I deserve a break for taking care of sumo. 635 00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:58,084 I mean, just look at him. 636 00:47:58,168 --> 00:48:00,170 Butterfly, oh... 637 00:48:00,253 --> 00:48:01,880 That's just the point. 638 00:48:01,963 --> 00:48:06,134 You have one little, itsy-bitsy, tiny weeny bite of success... 639 00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:07,927 - I'm sorry, tiny what? - "Tiny what" what? 640 00:48:08,011 --> 00:48:09,011 - What? - What? 641 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,642 The point is, this is no time for celebrating. 642 00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:18,271 It's time to double your efforts and train even harder. Now get to it. 643 00:48:32,619 --> 00:48:33,745 Hank! 644 00:48:33,828 --> 00:48:35,955 My brawling, battling hero. 645 00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,416 Sorry, I hope I'm not bothering you. Am I? 646 00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,543 No, I was just getting a workout in. 647 00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:41,669 Sure. 648 00:48:41,753 --> 00:48:45,757 Very impressive, you defeating sumo. Oh, wow! 649 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,258 It was nothing. 650 00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:49,385 I'm sure it was... nothing. 651 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:53,431 Anyway, I came here to invite you out on the town to celebrate. 652 00:48:53,515 --> 00:48:57,477 Tonight, I'm taking you to the most exclusive club in the country. 653 00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,854 Even the members aren't allowed in. 654 00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:02,190 Wow, thank you, but I can't go. 655 00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:05,235 I promised my teacher I'd stay focused on my training. 656 00:49:05,318 --> 00:49:08,738 Right. Sounds like your teacher is someone who's unhappy 657 00:49:08,822 --> 00:49:11,366 and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. 658 00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:13,701 Do you like fun? You like fun, don't you? 659 00:49:13,785 --> 00:49:16,704 - Of course I like fun! Fun is so fun! - Fun is fun, isn't it? 660 00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,498 The clue is in the word. 661 00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:21,459 Drive. Bye! See you later! We'll have fun. 662 00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,048 It's just one night. It's not a big deal. 663 00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:29,926 It is a big deal. It's the only deal. 664 00:49:30,009 --> 00:49:33,096 You committed to me to go to the end, and I did the same for you. 665 00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:36,224 You are breaking your word. 666 00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,352 I am not breaking my word. We can start training again tomorrow. 667 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,063 But tonight I'm gonna have some fun with my boss. 668 00:49:42,147 --> 00:49:43,731 I am your boss. 669 00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:47,152 - What? - I am your boss! 670 00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:50,738 - My boss? - I tell you what to do, and you do it. 671 00:49:50,822 --> 00:49:52,282 I thought you were my friend. 672 00:49:52,365 --> 00:49:55,493 I am your teacher. Your mentor. 673 00:49:55,577 --> 00:49:58,746 As I told you when we met, I am not yourfriend. 674 00:49:58,830 --> 00:50:02,375 A samurai has only duty, not friends. 675 00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:04,752 Not my friend. Well, that just sounds sad. 676 00:50:04,836 --> 00:50:08,673 Like someone who is unhappy and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. 677 00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:11,509 Well, I don't want to be unhappy. I'm gonna go have some fun. 678 00:50:12,510 --> 00:50:15,763 I hope you succeed in having fun 679 00:50:15,847 --> 00:50:18,183 because you have failed in everything else. 680 00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:21,603 You know a lot about failure, don't you? 681 00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:25,231 I defeated the unbeatable sumo in battle and saved the town. 682 00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:27,859 You can't even get a birthday party right. 683 00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:29,402 Don't wait up. 684 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,438 Bow and wow. This place is awesome! 685 00:51:06,022 --> 00:51:07,190 Where are you going? 686 00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:09,567 - End of the line? - Are you kidding? 687 00:51:09,651 --> 00:51:13,029 Hank, don't you get it? There are no lines for you. 688 00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:16,824 You are samurai Hank, the hero of kakamucho! 689 00:51:16,908 --> 00:51:20,870 Oh, my gosh! That's samurai Hank, the hero of kakamucho! 690 00:51:22,455 --> 00:51:24,207 "Vip." what's that mean? 691 00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,918 V.i.p. Very important pooch. 692 00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:29,796 - After you. - I don't have any ID. 693 00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:34,175 You have something better than ID. You have celebrity. 694 00:51:34,259 --> 00:51:35,260 Wait! 695 00:51:35,343 --> 00:51:38,346 - Can I have your autograph, Hank? - Um, sure. 696 00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:44,435 Now this is what being a top dog is all about. 697 00:51:55,363 --> 00:51:59,492 Private table, Hank? Dog treat, Hank? Scratch behind your ears, Hank? 698 00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:01,744 Oh, my gosh! Can we take a picture with you? 699 00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:03,788 - You look hot. - Who licks your hair? 700 00:52:05,999 --> 00:52:07,250 Thank you, Hank! 701 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:10,086 You're my favorite samurai! 702 00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:14,340 Is it everything I promised? 703 00:52:14,424 --> 00:52:17,635 Don't get me wrong, this is all so fantastic. It's just... 704 00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,179 You don't think that I'm being a glory seeker, do you? 705 00:52:20,263 --> 00:52:23,683 Hank, never miss an opportunity to pat yourself on the back. 706 00:52:30,023 --> 00:52:34,068 And there's no other place I would rather you be tonight. 707 00:52:36,029 --> 00:52:38,656 You ready? Let's do this! 708 00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:38,383 The ninjas are here! Samurai Hank! The ninjas are... 709 00:53:38,466 --> 00:53:39,801 Right here! 710 00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:54,857 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 711 00:53:54,941 --> 00:53:56,442 Good job. Well done. 712 00:53:56,526 --> 00:53:59,153 Autograph, lovely touch there. Little bonus for you. 713 00:53:59,237 --> 00:54:01,906 Thank you. Thank you. Good job. Well done. 714 00:54:37,692 --> 00:54:38,818 Jimbo. 715 00:54:39,444 --> 00:54:41,112 Yo, jimbo! Jimbo. 716 00:54:41,821 --> 00:54:44,073 You're okay? What happened here? 717 00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:46,576 The ninjas showed up again last night. 718 00:54:46,659 --> 00:54:50,037 And where were you? Having fun with your boss. 719 00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:53,791 - What about you? - I failed my oath for the last time. 720 00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:55,960 Where's my sword? 721 00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:57,587 Right. 722 00:54:57,670 --> 00:54:59,714 They've taken sumo to the fortress dungeon. 723 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,716 Now I'm going to get him back. 724 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,177 I'll go with you. We're both samurai and... 725 00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:08,181 You are not samurai! You were a selfish idiot. 726 00:55:08,681 --> 00:55:11,309 Today, you are nothing. 727 00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,644 You just don't want to admit that I beat sumo. 728 00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:16,731 - You never... - You really believe that? 729 00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:19,901 Edamame was responsible for your greatest victory. 730 00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:21,295 Edamame? What does that have to do... 731 00:55:21,319 --> 00:55:24,614 I failed to teach, and you failed to learn. 732 00:55:24,697 --> 00:55:26,199 I've learned a lot from you. 733 00:55:26,282 --> 00:55:29,577 Like when things get tough, you can hide in the bottom of a bottle. 734 00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:34,165 I'm sorry, jimbo. I didn't mean that. 735 00:55:34,749 --> 00:55:36,626 You're on the horse backwards. 736 00:55:39,212 --> 00:55:40,546 Goodbye, dog. 737 00:55:43,716 --> 00:55:45,009 See ya, cat! 738 00:55:46,636 --> 00:55:49,180 Where were you, "great samurai"? 739 00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:51,182 Thanks for nothing! 740 00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:54,435 'Cause guess what? You did nothing! 741 00:55:54,519 --> 00:55:57,522 And I'm thanking you sarcastically! 742 00:55:58,356 --> 00:55:59,565 Good, I'm out of here. 743 00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,377 Gonna get on the first boat and get home and... 744 00:56:02,401 --> 00:56:03,528 That's right. Go. 745 00:56:04,737 --> 00:56:06,113 - Emiko. - Go back home. 746 00:56:06,906 --> 00:56:08,407 Maybe my mom was right. 747 00:56:08,491 --> 00:56:10,701 Maybe dogs can't be samurai! 748 00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:24,585 It will always remind you of who you are. 749 00:58:51,696 --> 00:58:52,863 What are you doing here? 750 00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:56,450 I couldn't help myself. I'm a dog. That makes me loyal. 751 00:58:56,534 --> 00:58:58,035 So I'm here to make things right. 752 00:58:58,119 --> 00:59:00,538 You really think you can just come back here, 753 00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:01,956 and that makes everything okay? 754 00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:05,376 As a matter of fact, I do. I'm back! You should be happy. 755 00:59:05,459 --> 00:59:06,460 Well, I'm not. 756 00:59:06,544 --> 00:59:09,255 You might as well turn around and go back where you came from. 757 00:59:09,338 --> 00:59:10,589 I'm not going anywhere. 758 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:13,384 Sumo is in there, and I'm not leaving until we get him out. 759 00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,302 We can resolve our differences later. 760 00:59:17,430 --> 00:59:18,681 What now? 761 00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:22,601 You defeat strength with smart. Somebody taught me that. 762 00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:25,354 Do you have any ideas? 763 00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:29,859 This is smart? 764 00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:40,953 Watch your back! 765 00:59:41,036 --> 00:59:44,415 - You do care. - Only about saving sumo. 766 00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,042 You I could do without. 767 00:59:51,130 --> 00:59:52,465 Now what? 768 00:59:52,548 --> 00:59:54,550 We have to figure out a way in. 769 01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:03,100 - Pretty good idea, huh? - Stop wagging your tail. 770 01:00:03,184 --> 01:00:05,895 I didn't say it was a good idea, I just said it doesn't suck. 771 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:13,978 All right, genius, which way? 772 01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:16,238 To the left. 773 01:00:19,992 --> 01:00:20,993 What do you got? 774 01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:24,455 Got a d-o-g who's d-o-a. Want to get him out of sight, p-d-o. 775 01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:26,749 A-s-a-p, huh? Okay. 776 01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,841 I'm not even a full-time security guard! I'm just a temp! 777 01:00:39,220 --> 01:00:40,387 Let's roll, fido. 778 01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,767 Okay. Now, this could be difficult and might take a while, 779 01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,060 so let's split up. 780 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,688 I'll take the areas to the north and west. You go south and east. 781 01:00:49,772 --> 01:00:51,565 Let's try to be methodical about this. 782 01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:55,861 There could be thousands of cells here, and this could take hours, maybe days. 783 01:00:55,945 --> 01:00:57,655 He's right over here. 784 01:00:57,738 --> 01:00:59,824 Hey, sumo, we're here to save you. 785 01:01:02,368 --> 01:01:04,203 Guess we should've stolen some keys. 786 01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,286 Stand back. 787 01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:11,836 Well, at least you tried. 788 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,049 Doggy door. 789 01:01:19,844 --> 01:01:22,429 Uh, complication in the "saving him" department. 790 01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:24,557 Hank no need to save sumo. 791 01:01:25,349 --> 01:01:27,893 Sumo just prawn in ocean of life. 792 01:01:27,977 --> 01:01:30,437 Of course we have to save you. You're our friend. 793 01:01:30,521 --> 01:01:31,647 Fiends? 794 01:01:32,398 --> 01:01:35,025 Sumo overcome with emotion. 795 01:01:37,111 --> 01:01:41,073 While I appreciate the bro-fest, we should probably get out of here. 796 01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:43,826 Wait a second. I've got to Mark my territory. 797 01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,244 We don't have time for that. 798 01:01:45,327 --> 01:01:48,038 But it's a dog thing. I want them to know I was here. 799 01:01:48,122 --> 01:01:49,456 I even had asparagus last night. 800 01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:50,708 We don't have time! 801 01:01:51,417 --> 01:01:54,628 - We have to get back to kakamucho. - When we get there, what's the plan? 802 01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:57,006 At this moment, it is not so important what we do 803 01:01:57,089 --> 01:01:59,508 as it is important that we do something. 804 01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,343 Not sure yet what that something is. 805 01:02:25,993 --> 01:02:29,955 Remember! Fear is only in your mind. 806 01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:31,749 And a little bit in my kimono. 807 01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,356 Jimbo! 808 01:02:58,776 --> 01:03:00,736 - Jimbo, no! - Both of you get out of here. 809 01:03:00,819 --> 01:03:02,863 - What about you? - Don't worry about me! 810 01:03:02,947 --> 01:03:04,698 You have to get back to kakamucho. 811 01:03:04,782 --> 01:03:06,241 But we're a team. 812 01:03:06,325 --> 01:03:11,538 No, I have to do this. And there is no team in I. 813 01:03:12,581 --> 01:03:13,999 But there is an I 814 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,876 in samurai. 815 01:03:24,051 --> 01:03:26,762 You can't die! Our issues aren't resolved yet! 816 01:04:03,090 --> 01:04:04,550 Heimlich maneuver. 817 01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:09,638 You saved my life! But you touched me. 818 01:04:10,973 --> 01:04:13,767 If that ever happens again, let me die, okay? 819 01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:15,185 Now, what is it? 820 01:04:15,269 --> 01:04:17,104 The prisoner escaped. 821 01:04:17,938 --> 01:04:20,149 You let the big cat out of the bag, didn't you? 822 01:04:20,232 --> 01:04:21,734 Of course you did. 823 01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:25,988 Right. Okay. Now, someone is going to pay for this. 824 01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:30,242 I'm not saying who, but probably someone very, very stupid. 825 01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:32,870 Do you know what a scapegoat is, ohga? 826 01:04:32,953 --> 01:04:36,874 No, but if there's a goat around here, I will have him arrested immediately. 827 01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,209 Ah, brainless. Absolute... 828 01:04:39,293 --> 01:04:41,086 And that goes for all of you. 829 01:04:41,170 --> 01:04:45,924 Anyway, never mind. I already have another plan progressing nicely. 830 01:04:46,008 --> 01:04:49,678 A much bigger plan with even more deadly consequences. 831 01:04:51,180 --> 01:04:53,098 My lord, pardon the intrusion. 832 01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,975 - What is it? - It's the super bowl. 833 01:04:55,059 --> 01:04:56,393 It's overflowing! 834 01:04:56,477 --> 01:04:59,688 Jiggle the handle! Jiggle the handle! 835 01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:14,411 Where's everyone going? 836 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:17,247 Emiko, what's going on? 837 01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:19,665 Emiko? 838 01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:22,336 - Emiko! - Look at this! Have you read this? 839 01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:24,922 - No. - Well, would you read it to me? 840 01:05:25,005 --> 01:05:28,342 "Help wanted: Vicious killers for the destruction of kakamucho. 841 01:05:28,425 --> 01:05:30,969 Prior criminal record a must. An equal-opportunity employer." 842 01:05:31,053 --> 01:05:33,597 Can't you see this is just the last act of a desperate cat? 843 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,058 We don't care if it's the first act of mamma Mia! 844 01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:38,727 We're leaving before that army gets here. 845 01:05:57,788 --> 01:05:59,957 Right. How are we doing? Let's see. 846 01:06:00,791 --> 01:06:04,419 Cutthroats, good. Bounty hunters, desperados, biker gangs, excellent. 847 01:06:04,503 --> 01:06:08,382 Mugs, thugs, nitwits, dimwits, mobsters, muggers, bushwhackers. 848 01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:10,759 Hornswogglers, serial killers... 849 01:06:10,843 --> 01:06:12,386 Studio executives? 850 01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:14,888 Wow, it looks like everyone's here. Great! 851 01:06:14,972 --> 01:06:16,223 What about him? 852 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:17,808 Well, yes, 853 01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:20,602 he is scary, but in the wrong way. 854 01:06:20,686 --> 01:06:21,728 Arrest him. 855 01:06:28,152 --> 01:06:30,696 Wait, wait! Please, hear me out. 856 01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:32,906 You all need to know something. 857 01:06:33,407 --> 01:06:38,412 In an heroic effort to protect your town, today we lost jimbo. 858 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,456 No, no, not jimbo! 859 01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:43,333 - Who's jimbo? - I don't know. 860 01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,961 - Didn't he date your sister? - No, that was gumbo. 861 01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:47,754 Why did you even come back? 862 01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,882 We're leaving, Hank. 863 01:06:49,965 --> 01:06:52,551 We're all gonna start new lives somewhere else. 864 01:06:53,594 --> 01:06:54,928 Sure. Go. 865 01:06:55,804 --> 01:06:59,349 After all, you're cats. You've got nine lives, right? 866 01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:02,769 But I'm a dog. I have one life. 867 01:07:02,853 --> 01:07:06,106 And the best thing that happened to me in this one life 868 01:07:06,690 --> 01:07:08,025 is this town. 869 01:07:08,108 --> 01:07:10,652 You had faith in me. You trusted me. 870 01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,364 And I want to earn that trust back so bad, 871 01:07:14,448 --> 01:07:17,910 I'm willing to lay my one life down for your, uh... 872 01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:23,540 Let's see, 247 times 9, um, and then carry the 5... 873 01:07:23,624 --> 01:07:25,667 2,223. 874 01:07:25,751 --> 01:07:27,920 - 2,000? - 223. 875 01:07:28,003 --> 01:07:29,880 Right. Now what do you say? 876 01:07:30,422 --> 01:07:31,798 Life is short, 877 01:07:31,882 --> 01:07:35,177 and this movie is only 85 minutes long, not including end credits. 878 01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,637 So we have to hurry. 879 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:37,930 If we're gonna save this town, 880 01:07:38,013 --> 01:07:41,183 we have to find a way beyond judging each other strictly on 881 01:07:41,850 --> 01:07:44,228 labels like "dog" and "cat." 882 01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:46,688 Together, we can get past all that. 883 01:07:47,356 --> 01:07:49,024 We can all be better 884 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:51,318 together! 885 01:07:56,865 --> 01:08:00,369 It's a metaphor, saying we are all the same. 886 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:05,123 Look different on the outside, but we can choose for ourselves 887 01:08:05,207 --> 01:08:07,876 what our insides look like. 888 01:08:08,502 --> 01:08:11,213 See now, the big guy makes a lot of sense. 889 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:13,590 Right? So, sumo, what do we do now? 890 01:08:13,674 --> 01:08:14,925 So what do we do? 891 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,593 Well, step one, 892 01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,263 we need to destroy their lines of communication. 893 01:08:20,973 --> 01:08:22,808 I've cut the telephone line! 894 01:08:22,891 --> 01:08:24,059 Step two, 895 01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:28,063 someone taught me that we can make anything out of folded paper. 896 01:08:33,068 --> 01:08:35,904 How's everyone doing? Feeling evil? Yeah? 897 01:08:35,988 --> 01:08:38,573 Don't be stingy with the poison on those arrows. 898 01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:40,117 Everyone get plenty to eat? 899 01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:43,495 You can't crush the innocent on an empty stomach, can you? 900 01:08:43,578 --> 01:08:47,374 Enjoy the entrée because dessert is death and destruction. 901 01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:54,089 Who knew an evil army could go through so many beans? 902 01:08:54,172 --> 01:08:56,508 Right. Assemble the troops! 903 01:09:28,290 --> 01:09:31,460 Ah, the smell of victory in the air. 904 01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:35,297 Go, my terrible army! 905 01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:39,343 Go to kakamucho and do your worst! 906 01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:41,720 Oh, and don't forget, 907 01:09:41,803 --> 01:09:44,598 save your receipts! 908 01:09:59,363 --> 01:10:01,114 The signal. They're coming! 909 01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:02,824 They're coming! 910 01:10:03,408 --> 01:10:05,744 It's showtime. All right, everyone knows what to do. 911 01:10:16,755 --> 01:10:18,382 This is the best bit, isn't it? 912 01:10:18,465 --> 01:10:20,801 Waiting for the death and destruct... 913 01:10:20,884 --> 01:10:22,886 Nah, the best bit is the death and destruct... 914 01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,554 This is the second best bit. 915 01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:28,975 Kakamucho is going out of business. Everything must go! 916 01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:33,897 Ah, yes! 917 01:10:33,980 --> 01:10:35,524 Go, team, go! 918 01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:46,993 They're falling for it! They're falling for it! 919 01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:49,788 - Ichiro! - I'm right here. 920 01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:50,871 You're up. 921 01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:58,296 One, you got to account for elevation and wind. And two... 922 01:11:00,215 --> 01:11:02,050 - Got to watch for birds. - Whoops. 923 01:11:02,134 --> 01:11:04,386 - Bird got in the way. - Just try again. 924 01:11:04,469 --> 01:11:06,221 I only had the one bullet. 925 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,304 What are we gonna do? 926 01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:09,808 They'll find out any minute that we folded them a fake town. 927 01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:28,535 We've been tricked! 928 01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:40,714 Oh, my. 929 01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:49,681 Time to clean up this town. 930 01:11:50,265 --> 01:11:51,349 Let's go get 'em! 931 01:12:41,525 --> 01:12:44,027 Way to go, emiko! Woo-woo! 932 01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:46,071 Mom, you're embarrassing me. 933 01:12:52,327 --> 01:12:53,537 Sit! 934 01:13:00,835 --> 01:13:03,630 It's the shogun! 935 01:13:09,302 --> 01:13:10,345 What was that? 936 01:13:10,428 --> 01:13:11,972 Now that's a car. 937 01:13:14,182 --> 01:13:15,559 My magnificence. 938 01:13:15,642 --> 01:13:18,353 What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? 939 01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:21,273 That's him! The troublemaking dog that started all this. 940 01:13:21,356 --> 01:13:22,816 Arrest that dog! 941 01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,901 - Arrest the dog. - Yes! 942 01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:30,615 Ouch. Oh, come on. 943 01:13:30,699 --> 01:13:32,492 Ohga, take care of him! 944 01:13:32,576 --> 01:13:33,702 Is he sick? 945 01:13:33,785 --> 01:13:36,788 No, you simpleminded twit! Finish him! 946 01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:47,173 What the mother father cocker spaniel's going on here? 947 01:13:47,674 --> 01:13:49,259 Jimbo, you're alive! 948 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,222 - So that's jimbo! - See? He did date your sister. 949 01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:57,976 Okay, okay, that's enough. 950 01:13:58,059 --> 01:13:59,269 Down, boy! 951 01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:01,062 Jimbo, is that you? 952 01:14:01,146 --> 01:14:02,272 Toshi? 953 01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:05,108 You are the shogun? 954 01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:06,276 Yeah, sure. 955 01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:10,614 It took years to work my way up through the ranks, but look at me now. 956 01:14:10,697 --> 01:14:12,032 What happened to you? 957 01:14:12,115 --> 01:14:16,077 I was shamed, my lord. I am so, so sorry. 958 01:14:16,578 --> 01:14:18,997 - I ruined your birthday. - Are you kidding? 959 01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:21,249 Best birthday party I ever had! 960 01:14:21,333 --> 01:14:23,918 Most surprise parties are so boring. 961 01:14:24,002 --> 01:14:27,005 But that year, that was a real surprise. 962 01:14:27,088 --> 01:14:30,216 I tell that story all the time. Always brings the house down. 963 01:14:30,300 --> 01:14:32,302 And the stuff with your in-laws? 964 01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:35,221 My in-laws, oh! Please, don't get me started. 965 01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:38,224 In-laws you don't pick. Friends you choose. 966 01:14:38,308 --> 01:14:41,227 And you, jimbo, are my friend. 967 01:14:41,311 --> 01:14:42,812 So you forgive me? 968 01:14:42,896 --> 01:14:45,065 Forgiven. Forgotten. No biggie. 969 01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:47,734 Hey, life's short. Like me. Let's move on. 970 01:14:49,194 --> 01:14:51,112 So, what's up with the dog? 971 01:14:51,196 --> 01:14:54,324 That "dog" was defending kakamucho. 972 01:14:54,407 --> 01:14:57,577 A dog defending the town? Why? 973 01:14:57,661 --> 01:15:00,288 Because lord ika here was trying to get rid of it. 974 01:15:00,372 --> 01:15:03,249 Don't believe him! I was just trying to get rid of that dog! 975 01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:06,211 You see? Nike shoe was only trying to get rid of the dog. 976 01:15:06,294 --> 01:15:08,922 But, sir, that dog isn't what you think he is. 977 01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:10,006 He isn't? 978 01:15:10,090 --> 01:15:13,301 I'm not following you. Can someone else explain this? 979 01:15:13,385 --> 01:15:14,552 Allow me. 980 01:15:14,636 --> 01:15:16,471 Ika chu wanted to get rid of the dog 981 01:15:16,554 --> 01:15:18,314 because he was getting in the way of his plan 982 01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:20,100 to frighten the cats of kakamucho 983 01:15:20,183 --> 01:15:22,310 so that he could wipe their town off the map 984 01:15:22,394 --> 01:15:25,563 in order to make his palace absolutely perfect. 985 01:15:25,647 --> 01:15:26,981 Wha...? 986 01:15:27,607 --> 01:15:29,609 Did I leave anything out? 987 01:15:30,318 --> 01:15:31,319 Brains? 988 01:15:31,403 --> 01:15:34,531 Well, peek-a-boo, what do you got to say for yourself? 989 01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:36,032 You want an explanation? 990 01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:38,535 You're gonna get one. 991 01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:40,662 I am... 992 01:15:41,413 --> 01:15:42,664 Running away! 993 01:15:43,540 --> 01:15:46,126 Looks like we got a little more samurai-ing to do. 994 01:17:03,578 --> 01:17:04,578 Oh, you... 995 01:17:14,631 --> 01:17:16,549 Wait, wait, stop, stop! 996 01:17:17,342 --> 01:17:18,343 Right. 997 01:17:19,010 --> 01:17:22,096 I have something very important to tell you, Hank. 998 01:17:22,180 --> 01:17:23,348 What is it? 999 01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:25,141 I am your father. 1000 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:26,976 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. 1001 01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:33,316 I distracted you! 1002 01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:37,487 I'm certainly not about to get outwitted by a stupid dog 1003 01:17:37,570 --> 01:17:40,448 who's not even a real samurai. 1004 01:17:41,241 --> 01:17:44,536 Oh, but you're wrong. I am a real samurai. 1005 01:17:44,619 --> 01:17:47,038 I got a cup right here that says so! 1006 01:17:53,837 --> 01:17:54,879 Grab on! 1007 01:17:56,965 --> 01:17:59,133 No! No, see... ohga! 1008 01:17:59,217 --> 01:18:01,261 You don't understand this concept, do you? 1009 01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:04,097 I will save you! 1010 01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:11,479 Oh, my. 1011 01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:16,109 What the flush? 1012 01:18:16,776 --> 01:18:19,028 Ohga! Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 1013 01:18:19,112 --> 01:18:20,112 I am, sir. 1014 01:18:21,990 --> 01:18:24,242 Thar she blows! 1015 01:18:37,505 --> 01:18:39,173 This palace is gonna blow. 1016 01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:41,885 And when it does, all this water is going straight down to... 1017 01:18:42,552 --> 01:18:43,887 Kakamucho! 1018 01:18:43,970 --> 01:18:46,139 - What can we do? - We don't have much time. 1019 01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:47,765 We've got to do something. 1020 01:19:03,197 --> 01:19:04,240 One, please. 1021 01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:18,129 Guys, you got to help me! The giant toilet is overflowing! 1022 01:19:18,713 --> 01:19:20,840 Have you tried to jiggle the handle? 1023 01:19:20,924 --> 01:19:23,384 Too late for that. But I have an idea. 1024 01:19:27,889 --> 01:19:29,098 We're listening. 1025 01:19:29,182 --> 01:19:30,642 But you better make it snappy! 1026 01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:31,809 We've had our differences, 1027 01:19:31,893 --> 01:19:34,622 but the times we've actually worked together we've accomplished a lot. 1028 01:19:34,646 --> 01:19:36,981 So if you trust me, I think we can save the town. 1029 01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:38,900 That was pretty snappy. 1030 01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:40,401 What do you want us to do? 1031 01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:42,111 Dig! 1032 01:19:42,695 --> 01:19:44,030 But cats don't dig. 1033 01:19:44,113 --> 01:19:46,324 Okay, so you don't dig. Can you swim? 1034 01:20:01,506 --> 01:20:03,174 You heard him. Dig! 1035 01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,293 Hurry up! 1036 01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,306 Where are they? 1037 01:20:53,933 --> 01:20:55,226 Help! Help! 1038 01:20:58,646 --> 01:20:59,646 Help! 1039 01:21:11,367 --> 01:21:12,452 Emiko! 1040 01:21:52,784 --> 01:21:53,785 I've got you. 1041 01:22:15,306 --> 01:22:17,725 Well, that pretty much wraps things up. 1042 01:22:17,809 --> 01:22:20,603 Almost 85 minutes exactly. 1043 01:22:20,686 --> 01:22:25,066 All that's left is appointing a new samurai for kakamucho. 1044 01:22:25,650 --> 01:22:27,485 What do you say, jimbo? 1045 01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:28,945 Me, my lord? 1046 01:22:29,028 --> 01:22:32,406 Why not? I can't think of anyone better, can you? 1047 01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:38,121 I can. Kakamucho already has a samurai. 1048 01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:39,330 The dog? 1049 01:22:39,413 --> 01:22:42,792 He can't be a samurai. He can't be anywhere. It's the law. 1050 01:22:42,875 --> 01:22:44,669 You know the rules: "No dogs allowed." 1051 01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:47,004 It's not personal, it's just business. 1052 01:22:47,505 --> 01:22:49,924 And you know what they say: There's no business... 1053 01:22:50,007 --> 01:22:52,176 Like shogun business! 1054 01:22:52,260 --> 01:22:53,845 Exactally! 1055 01:22:53,928 --> 01:22:56,097 But he's not a dog. 1056 01:22:58,891 --> 01:23:00,184 He's my friend. 1057 01:23:00,268 --> 01:23:03,271 And more than that, he's our samurai. 1058 01:23:03,354 --> 01:23:06,399 - He is? - That's what I was trying to tell you. 1059 01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:10,153 Wow. You live nine lives, you get to see everything. 1060 01:23:10,236 --> 01:23:12,280 Who knew? A dog samurai. 1061 01:23:12,363 --> 01:23:14,574 Hank is not a dog samurai. 1062 01:23:14,657 --> 01:23:17,076 Hank is a great samurai! 1063 01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,662 A truly great samurai! 1064 01:23:19,745 --> 01:23:22,331 Woof, woof, woof, woof! 1065 01:23:22,415 --> 01:23:27,503 Then I dub thee town samurai of kakamucho. 1066 01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:31,799 Actually, you already officially appointed him. 1067 01:23:31,883 --> 01:23:33,176 - I did? - Yeah. 1068 01:23:33,259 --> 01:23:35,178 I had an official samurai cup and everything. 1069 01:23:35,261 --> 01:23:37,638 Oh, well, if you had an official cup and everything... 1070 01:23:37,722 --> 01:23:39,682 And I don't know what that means... 1071 01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:42,977 But I bet you don't have an official sword. 1072 01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:50,860 Wait. Please wait. 1073 01:23:52,111 --> 01:23:54,780 Thank you. But I can't accept this honor. 1074 01:23:55,364 --> 01:23:57,575 - Why not? - Yeah, why not? 1075 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,245 I have a contract with my teacher 1076 01:24:01,329 --> 01:24:03,289 that says I haven't yet finished my training. 1077 01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,255 But there is someone else that's most deserving of this honor. 1078 01:24:12,882 --> 01:24:13,883 Emiko. 1079 01:24:14,634 --> 01:24:16,552 You are a true samurai. 1080 01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:19,847 The little one? 1081 01:24:19,931 --> 01:24:22,975 Yes, my lord. She's always defended the town. 1082 01:24:23,059 --> 01:24:25,228 I will carry it with honor. 1083 01:24:25,311 --> 01:24:26,729 I know you will. 1084 01:24:40,493 --> 01:24:43,204 So how does it feel to be a real samurai? 1085 01:24:43,287 --> 01:24:46,999 Good. But not as good as it will feel someday when I'm the shogun. 1086 01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:49,252 The shogun? You? 1087 01:24:51,254 --> 01:24:52,505 You know something? 1088 01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:55,091 That ain't such a bad idea. Sure, why not? 1089 01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:56,592 And I got to tell you, 1090 01:24:57,176 --> 01:24:58,928 it's good to be the shogun. 1091 01:25:09,605 --> 01:25:11,607 Milk's on me! 1092 01:25:14,652 --> 01:25:16,529 Kind of warms your heart, doesn't it? 1093 01:25:19,031 --> 01:25:20,908 - What's that for? - Defend yourself! 1094 01:25:22,159 --> 01:25:25,621 - Wait, wait, stop! Time-out. Stop. - No. 1095 01:25:26,372 --> 01:25:27,999 - That hurts. - Got you again! 1096 01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,085 How does that feel? This is my favorite part. 1097 01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:32,712 The part where you suffer. 1098 01:37:43,692 --> 01:37:47,863 Doggone it. Still, at least I don't have to do the sequel. 77767

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