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In 3 world where only 0315 were living
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where the heroes ran in short supply
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to a land so harsh and unforgiving
4
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rode a hero, the blaz/ng samurai
5
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when one town was found to be in danger
6
00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:07,962
from the evildoers dropping by
7
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who appeared?
That brave and mighty stranger
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to save the day came the blazing samurai
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sent by the shogun with arrows and blowgun
10
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his nunchucks could poke out an eye
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trained in bushido, the samurai's credo
he mastered a/kido
12
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:32,528
he really was one awesome guy
13
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,740
he was legend with his sword a-s wing/ng
14
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,660
I/illains feared his fearsome battle cry
15
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,830
conquered hate
with justice he was bringing
16
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:46,584
he took a stand to save the land
17
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:52,381
praise the blazing samurai
18
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,512
where did that come from?
19
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,014
The title department.
20
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,942
That blue should be more blue blue.
21
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,487
That's wrong.
22
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,490
You can't climb those. Start again.
23
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,034
You like these?
24
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,997
How's everything coming along?
25
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:28,000
The shogun is coming to visit in one week.
26
00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:30,753
Everyone knows he's trying to decide
who his successor will be.
27
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,297
And if I have anything to do with it,
it'll be me.
28
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:37,593
I've spared no expense making this
the grandest palace in the land.
29
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,720
Imported mice to chase.
30
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:41,680
Fine couches to ruin.
31
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,725
And the crown Jewel of the palace,
32
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:47,269
my state-of-the-art bathroom.
33
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,939
Behold, the future!
34
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,775
I call it the super bowl.
35
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,236
Because that's what it is, a super bowl.
36
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:56,612
Impressive.
37
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,406
I hope the shogun thinks so.
38
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:01,534
The only thing left to solve
is our little problem.
39
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,661
- Kakamucho?
- Precisely.
40
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,957
What do you do when you're a landlord,
and you have tenants you really hate?
41
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,583
You evict them.
42
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,378
But the town's been there
for thousands of years.
43
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,381
I give you an order,
and you give me facts. Really?
44
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,966
The only fact I'm interested in
45
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:21,095
is that that hair ball of a town
is ruining my magnificent view.
46
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,182
We've got to wipe them off the map
to make this palace absolutely perfect.
47
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,185
But what about the samurai
that's there to protect them?
48
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,939
Just get rid of their samurai!
The fraidy-cats will follow.
49
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,067
But make sure
it can't be traced back to me.
50
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,634
Bandits!
51
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,807
You warn the others. I'll get the samurai.
52
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,102
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
53
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,860
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
54
00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,156
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
55
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,167
Mr. Samurai! Mr. Samurai!
56
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,047
Bad cats are coming! We need your help!
57
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,842
I've got this. I know exactly what to do.
58
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,084
Samurai, we're coming for you!
59
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:17,628
Bring it on, bandits!
60
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,500
Oh, no!
61
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:14,727
I know these events look dire,
62
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:18,272
but we must stand
on our own four legs and fight.
63
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,399
This is our home.
64
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,902
It is the sacred place
where our kittens were born
65
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:27,364
and where we will
one day join our ancestors
66
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,700
in a shoebox buried behind the garage.
67
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,205
Dr. Katz, you have something to say?
68
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,291
No, I just got a hair ball.
69
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,794
What we need is a samurai.
70
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:44,590
We still can't find the last one.
We even put up posters.
71
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,387
What we need is a new samurai.
72
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,473
Not it!
73
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,016
No! Think.
74
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,226
Where did we get our old samurai?
75
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,686
Samurais "r" us?
76
00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:00,356
No, from the shogun!
77
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,192
So why don't we ask the shogun
to send us a new one?
78
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,570
Okay, I've got it.
79
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,657
Why don't we ask the shogun
to send us a new one?
80
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,005
Work, work, work.
Let's see, what's on the agenda today?
81
00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,799
Catfights on the western front.
82
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,551
Cat-scratch fever
breaking out in the east.
83
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:34,431
What's this? Our sacred soil has been
soiled by a dog who crossed the border?
84
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,058
Probably a border collie.
85
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:38,811
Fortunately, he's been apprehended.
86
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,979
Oh, well. You break the law,
you pay the price.
87
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,315
It's not personal, it's just business.
88
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,650
And you know what they say,
89
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,403
"there's no business
like shogun business!"
90
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,155
I've got an urgent message!
91
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,866
I've got an urgent message!
92
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,618
From the cats of kakamucho!
93
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,453
Well, spit it out.
94
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,708
An urgent tweet from kakamucho?
95
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,046
"Bandits ravaging village, stop.
We need a new samurai, stop.
96
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,716
This reign of terror has to stop, stop."
97
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,802
Okay, tell them
I'll send someone right away.
98
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,683
Marmalade! I need to make a call.
99
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,143
Get me what's-his-name.
100
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,311
I have ika chu on line two.
101
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,980
Good, very good, yes.
102
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,441
Pikachu, how's it going?
103
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,335
- Pikachu, how's it going?
- Peek-a-boo, how's it going?
104
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,485
Peek-a-who... peek-a-you...
105
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,662
Koo koo roo... Scooby-doo... toodle-oo...
106
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,709
Pikachu, how's it going?
107
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,587
It's ika chu, my divine fabulousness.
108
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:50,466
I'm so excited and grateful
that you will honor me with your presence
109
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,593
for the unveiling of my latest creation.
110
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,803
I promise to amaze you.
111
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:58,557
Listen, I gave you a call
because I just got this urgent appeal
112
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,309
from the town of kakamucho.
113
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:03,353
Seems they've been set upon by bandits!
114
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:07,024
Can't have ordinary law-abiding cats
terrorized, can we?
115
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,860
Of course we can't, your worshipfulness.
116
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154
I promised them we'd send a new samurai
117
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,656
and I'm putting you
in charge of it, Nike shoe.
118
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:18,535
- Oh, sir, I'm so excited and grateful.
- Good, good.
119
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,497
And don't forget, I'll be there next week
to see my new palace.
120
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,166
Looking foward
to you knocking my socks off.
121
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,460
Hey, I'm gonna have to put you on hold.
122
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,753
Here, hold this.
123
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:34,051
No, no, no! This could ruin everything.
124
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:38,680
"Send a new samurai to kakamucho."
I just got rid of the last one!
125
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,891
I have to do what the shogun says
126
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:45,270
but in a way that will benefit me.
127
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,731
Yes, that's it! I need a new plan.
128
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,484
But what can that plan be?
129
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694
Why am I asking you?
130
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,493
All right, get up.
131
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,576
It's time.
132
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,830
Here, this is for you.
133
00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,122
What's that for?
134
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,542
Oh, that. That's for your execution.
135
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,669
What? But I haven't done anything.
136
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:09,753
I don't understand.
137
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:13,298
You came to this country illegally.
It's strictly no dogs allowed.
138
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,467
Didn't you know? Cats hate dogs.
139
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,553
But dogs are lovable.
How could you hate a dog?
140
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,805
My dad hated dogs
and that's good enough for me.
141
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,682
It's not really based on logic.
142
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:25,018
- It just feels right to hate, you know?
- Yeah, makes sense to me.
143
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,855
Now severing number one.
144
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,606
Number one?
145
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,066
Number one.
146
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,695
- I don't want to.
- What?
147
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,947
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to go up there.
148
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,575
- Okay, then. You don't have to.
- Really? Thank you.
149
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:43,036
Of course.
I mean, what are we, barbarians?
150
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,496
Archers!
151
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,791
Hey! I'm trying to think up here!
152
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,875
I know you got a lot of prisoners to kill,
but please, can you keep it down?
153
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,963
- Sorry!
- Yeah? Thank you.
154
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,053
There he goes.
155
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,308
- Get him!
- Come on, move!
156
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,942
Hey, can't we just talk this out?
157
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:15,819
- I don't speak dog.
- But wait.
158
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,405
- We're communicating right now.
- No, we're not.
159
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,490
- You just understood me.
- No, I didn't.
160
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,202
You should've never come here, dog!
You don't belong.
161
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,247
There he is!
162
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,181
Doggone it!
163
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,725
Plan, plan...
164
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,394
What I need... yes!
165
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:54,107
I'll send the worst samurai
in the entire world,
166
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:55,567
and they do a terrible job.
167
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,528
But where do you look
for something truly bad?
168
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:02,908
Wait, please! I only came to your country
to learn to be a samurai.
169
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,286
As if a dog could ever become a samurai.
170
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,872
Never! A dog.
171
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:10,874
A dog!
172
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,292
Hold your fire!
173
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:19,091
- Nice save.
- Always happy to lend a hand.
174
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,636
Hi there. Who's a good dog?
175
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,305
Yeah, who's a good dog? Who's a good dog?
176
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,989
Does this mean you're not gonna kill me?
177
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,895
On the contrary!
Let's talk about what you can do for me.
178
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:35,857
I am offering to make you
the new samurai of kakamucho.
179
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,193
- Kakamucho? What's that?
- In the way.
180
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:42,906
But that's not as important as you are
at this lucky, lucky moment.
181
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,450
Are you sure I'm ready
to defend an entire town?
182
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,869
Maybe I should start out
as a mall samurai.
183
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:48,953
What?
184
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,581
No, no.
185
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,501
Time to get my new samurai to kakamucho,
186
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,795
so you can hurry up and die-i-ive...
187
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,505
Dive right in.
188
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,385
Whoa, uh...
189
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:08,015
So, do I get a badge
or a certificate or a...
190
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,225
You know, something official-like?
191
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,153
There you go. Makes it all official.
192
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,196
Wow. A samurai cup.
193
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,782
Yes, they've all got one.
Just show that around.
194
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,244
"Wow, he's got a cup. He's a samurai.
We'd better do what he says."
195
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:33,040
Well, better get going.
That town isn't gonna samurai itself.
196
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,876
But I don't know where I'm going!
197
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,212
Don't worry, the horse knows.
He's got GPS.
198
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:42,049
Giddy-up, uh, positioning system.
199
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:45,343
Why are you sending the dog
to defend kakamucho?
200
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,803
They will kill him.
201
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,514
And the orphanage said
you would never speak.
202
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,391
Yes, they will kill him.
203
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:55,270
And killing an official samurai...
Why, that's against the law!
204
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,147
I would have to arrest all of them.
205
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:02,235
And that would leave no one in the town
where I want no one.
206
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,158
You did know where we were going.
207
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:12,746
It's the latest thing.
It's called a "gun."
208
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,039
Is it dangerous?
209
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:18,585
Don't be silly, guns don't kill cats.
Cars and curiosity kill cats.
210
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:19,669
What's a car?
211
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,588
Careful. You're being curious.
212
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,340
He's coming, he's coming!
213
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,066
There he is! The new samurai!
214
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,492
The new samurai's a dog.
215
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,035
He's a what?
216
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,080
The new samurai is a dog!
217
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,749
The new samurai is a dong?
218
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,170
"Welcome to kakamucho."
219
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,924
Okay. Here goes nothing.
220
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,643
Welcoming committee?
221
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:17,936
Maybe this won't be so bad.
222
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,064
Okay, first day on the job.
Make eye contact, smile...
223
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:45,714
- It's a dog!
- He's gonna ruin everything!
224
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,049
Let's kill him
before the new samurai arrives.
225
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,342
Sic him!
226
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,181
Kill him! Tear him up!
227
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,109
Sit!
228
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:09,196
Now that's what I call wokking the dog.
229
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:13,200
Yeah, because she hit that dog with a wok!
230
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,745
Is he dead?
231
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:19,247
Hey, see if he has
any snacks in his pockets.
232
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,252
Oh, it's a trick! He's playing dead.
233
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,545
- Bad doggy!
- Dang it.
234
00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:27,756
- Sic him!
- Wait, can we just talk for one minute?
235
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,839
Shut up, dog!
236
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,801
I am the new samurai, I am!
Look, here's my cup.
237
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,429
Let him have it!
238
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,432
Stop! He is the new samurai.
239
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,270
It says he's been appointed
by the shogun himself.
240
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,982
Well, that is... wow.
I did not see that coming.
241
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,319
Give me that!
You must be confused, little girl.
242
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,949
Well, this is certainly disappointing.
243
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,116
What is?
244
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,201
I can't read.
245
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,454
She is right. It's official.
246
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,456
So we cannot kill him?
247
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,539
Yeah, no.
248
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,627
Yeah, I know, I know.
We're all disappointed.
249
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,170
But we can still hate him, right?
250
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,588
Absolutely!
251
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,134
You are, number one, not a cat.
252
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,596
Number two, you are a dog,
so that goes back to you not being a cat.
253
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,891
And three,
you are definitely not a samurai
254
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,686
because you are a dog,
and that goes back to you not being a cat.
255
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,146
Go back where you came from, car chaser!
256
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,482
Again, what's a car?
257
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,901
Stop being curious. You'll kill us all.
258
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,326
Are you really a dog?
259
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:40,704
- Yes, I am a dog.
- Told you.
260
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,124
I didn't know dogs could be samurai.
261
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,001
Well, they can, and I...
262
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,253
- Wait, why not?
- Your sword's on backwards.
263
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,213
No, it's not, actually. Is it?
264
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,968
- Do you know how this is supposed to go?
- I know a few things about samurai-ing.
265
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,305
Fair enough. How about
I deputize you as my official assistant?
266
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,265
Bad dog!
267
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,348
Don't talk to him.
268
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:04,227
Did you touch him?
Time to use our hand sanitizers.
269
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,981
No, no, no!
270
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,733
Doggamn it!
271
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,359
What kind of a world do we live in
272
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,737
where good and upright citizens
can't be counted on
273
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,905
to kill someone
just because they look different?
274
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,408
We could try beating them up again.
275
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,619
Only problem is they still have a samurai.
276
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,247
You're kidding me, right?
He's a labradork.
277
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:27,208
Put his tail between his legs
and let's finish this!
278
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,093
Okay. Here goes nothing.
279
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,611
Wow.
280
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,826
Excellent.
281
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,955
That's right. I'm a samurai now!
282
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:09,250
Take that! Take that! Oh, yeah!
283
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,848
How 'bout a little nip?
284
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:25,892
A little catnip.
285
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,270
- I don't think I'm...
- More for me.
286
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,398
Who are you?
287
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,775
My friends call me jimbo.
288
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,820
And since I have no friends,
289
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:39,989
I guess you can call me jimbo too.
290
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,742
I guess it works either way.
291
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,662
Well, jimbo, I'm Hank,
292
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,955
and I'm the new samurai.
293
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,582
New samurai, huh?
294
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,876
You know, your sword's on backwards.
295
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,838
Oh, and I suppose you know everything
because you're a samurai.
296
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,297
I know you're not.
297
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:59,342
- Why, because I'm a dog?
- No, because you're an idiot.
298
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,012
No real samurai
would be caught dead wearing that.
299
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,974
Is that a bathrobe?
You get that from a hotel?
300
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,518
You're not a samurai, are you?
301
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,688
I know. Right. I'm not.
302
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:15,108
I came here to learn to be a samurai,
and then I got this job,
303
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,694
but I don't have the slightest idea
what I'm doing.
304
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,987
Is there a book?
305
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,614
You know, an instruction manual,
like how to be a samurai?
306
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,949
You mean samurai for dummies?
307
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,242
-Yes!
308
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,952
That would be dumb.
309
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,252
Ow! Okay, that hurts.
310
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,254
Okay, ow! Oh, that's... agh!
311
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,060
You'd better get out there.
312
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,062
It's samurai time.
313
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,939
You're the samurai, right?
314
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:59,402
- It looks a little dangerous out there.
- Oh, yeah, dangerous.
315
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,156
That's n.W.A. Out there.
Ninjas with attitude.
316
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:07,368
But you go ahead, it'll be great!
You are the samurai.
317
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,499
- Look at that. It's that mean old lady.
- Yes, it is.
318
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,084
- Now I have to...
- Yes, you do.
319
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,712
Maybe I could just go talk to them.
You know, work this out.
320
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,088
- You should do that.
- I will.
321
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,632
You go reason with them.
322
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:27,931
Uh, excuse me?
323
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,601
Excuse me, please.
324
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:33,937
Excuse me!
325
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:39,734
Get lost, dog. This is cat business!
326
00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:43,404
Don't listen to him.
You guys are doing a great job.
327
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,285
Sword's still on the wrong side.
328
00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:58,628
My eyes are up here.
329
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,008
Right in the eye.
330
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:10,098
Interesting choice, using your face
to block those punches.
331
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:11,599
I wouldn't have considered that.
332
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:15,270
- Yeah, well, what do you know?
- Enough not to get my butt kicked.
333
00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,272
I got to get some samurai training.
334
00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:19,232
I don't think training can help you.
335
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,276
Couldn't hurt. What am I supposed to do?
336
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,320
If I were you,
I would consider going home.
337
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:25,780
Maybe being a lapdog.
338
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:27,657
- I can't leave.
- Sure you can.
339
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:31,327
I've got nowhere else to go!
It took everything I had to come here.
340
00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:35,123
Then it's, "hey, get shot full of arrows
or take this job," so here I am.
341
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:38,585
I've got to make this samurai thing work.
I have to. But first I need to learn.
342
00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,295
Sounds like you need a mentor.
343
00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:42,046
Dog breath?
344
00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:45,800
Not mentos. Mentor! A teacher.
345
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:49,596
To take you under his wing, teach you
all he knows. That kind of thing.
346
00:23:49,679 --> 00:23:51,431
That's exactly what I need.
347
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:55,435
Perhaps a once-great samurai
who has fallen on hard times
348
00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,687
and maybe could use some help himself.
349
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,147
But where could I find one?
350
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,277
Hey! It's you!
351
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,447
What? Get out of here! Who even made that?
352
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,799
Don't believe everything you read.
353
00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:12,785
This is traditionally the place in a movie
where the hero meets his big opportunity.
354
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,038
You're my guy. Come on, train me.
355
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,332
- But you're a dog.
- Is that what's bothering you?
356
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:20,376
There's a lot about you
that's bothering me.
357
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,086
Like, for instance, how you got here.
358
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,213
It wasn't easy, that's for sure.
359
00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:27,842
I had to cross impassable seas,
unclimbable mountains
360
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:31,012
and really nasty midtown trafl'ic.
361
00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:34,307
But why do you want to be a samurai?
362
00:24:35,058 --> 00:24:37,894
I was always the runt.
Everybody always picked on me.
363
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:42,482
Ilived in a bad neighborhood
in a bad part of town full of bad dogs.
364
00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:10,551
But this day, someth/ng awesome happened.
365
00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:13,388
He moved almost faster
than your eye could see.
366
00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:41,582
And then he was gone.
367
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:45,420
A samurai in a strange land
took the time to help...
368
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:51,592
That's why I came here.
To learn to be just like him.
369
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,594
I even kept his sword.
370
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:57,432
I've been wondering where that went.
Thank you!
371
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:02,729
Wait a minute.
372
00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:04,981
That's your sword?
373
00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:06,941
Then that means you're...
374
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:08,776
I don't want to talk about it.
375
00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:13,072
But will you train me?
376
00:26:13,156 --> 00:26:14,824
- Nope.
- Why?
377
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:18,327
- Because you're so busy?
- No, because you're so brainless.
378
00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,164
I showed you my movie,
the whole flashback thing.
379
00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:22,248
I don't believe it!
380
00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:23,583
I'm out of here.
381
00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:27,795
And I never want to see you again.
382
00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:39,599
You.
383
00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:41,517
How much did you hear?
384
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,187
Samurai Hank needs your help.
385
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,856
Are you not bound
by your samurai oath to help him?
386
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:49,499
You mean the one that says
I can't turn my back on those in need?
387
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,319
Yeah, that one.
388
00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:55,198
Well, maybe.
389
00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,366
That's not what...
390
00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:02,205
Stupid oath!
391
00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:05,041
The cuteness is strong with this one.
392
00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:10,254
- What's this?
- It is a contract
393
00:27:10,338 --> 00:27:13,883
between a student, you, and a teacher, me.
394
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,010
Uh, why do we need a contract?
395
00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:19,472
Because at this moment
it would be so nice if I weren't here.
396
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,225
And if you break this contract,
I won't be.
397
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,352
Besides, it's very straightfon/vard.
398
00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:27,275
You swear to be brave, honorable,
protect those in need, not seek glory,
399
00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:30,900
finish what you start
and always obey your master.
400
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:33,069
- The samurai oath!
- Yes.
401
00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:37,365
And if you break it,
our contract is broken. And you go home.
402
00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:39,325
Should I have my attorney
look at that first?
403
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:42,286
We don't have that kind of time.
Now, sign here.
404
00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:01,429
Defend yourself!
405
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:04,392
What am I supposed to do with a stick?
406
00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:05,518
Lesson one.
407
00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:09,981
It is not so important what you do
as it is important that you do something.
408
00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,024
A warrior has catlike reflexes.
409
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,151
- I'm not a cat, I'm a dog!
- Nobody's perfect.
410
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,784
Wait. That music.
411
00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:24,078
Hey, this is the training montage,
isn't it?
412
00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:26,330
Can't we just skip ahead
to the part where I'm good?
413
00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:30,042
No. This is my favorite part.
The part where you suffer.
414
00:28:39,844 --> 00:28:42,763
Cross the river! Any way you can!
415
00:28:53,691 --> 00:28:57,028
To a cat, nothing is unclimbable!
416
00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,655
Did I mention I wasn't a cat?
417
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:03,951
Just make it to the other side
of the wall. Then you will be ready.
418
00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:09,165
Want to give me a hand?
419
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,377
Very funny!
420
00:29:13,461 --> 00:29:15,296
Don't forget to land on your...
421
00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:17,964
Feet.
422
00:29:33,439 --> 00:29:34,649
Nope.
423
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:38,610
Nope.
424
00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:46,702
Uh-uh. Nope.
425
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:11,644
I'm starting to think you
don't know what you're doing.
426
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,396
I know exactly what I'm doing.
427
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:16,857
I'm talking about training.
You said you could make me a samurai.
428
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:21,988
I can make you a pizza.
But I cannot make you into anything.
429
00:30:22,071 --> 00:30:24,156
That power's only within yourself.
430
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,118
You said you would help me,
not just whack me with stuff.
431
00:30:27,201 --> 00:30:29,787
I've been whacked my whole life.
That's why I came here.
432
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,330
To learn to be a samurai.
433
00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:38,295
You want glory.
You know nothing of being a true samurai.
434
00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,815
I'm starting to think you don't either.
435
00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:43,009
And you know what? I don't
even believe you are a real samurai.
436
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,032
So what happened to you?
437
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,700
How did you go from being a samurai
438
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,703
to a washed-up loser
who drinks too much catnip,
439
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,747
has an obvious weight problem,
440
00:31:12,830 --> 00:31:15,249
no real friends to speak of,
is prediabetic...
441
00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:16,542
That's enough!
442
00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,838
There was a time I was chief bodyguard
443
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:24,842
of a very important official
named toshiro tyfune.
444
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:28,554
He was a real cool cat.
With greatness ahead of him.
445
00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:30,323
- Is this gonna be a flashback?
- Don't interrupt me.
446
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,160
If it's a flashback, you should
project it. It really brings it to life.
447
00:31:33,184 --> 00:31:35,624
I don't need the projector.
It's an old-fashioned remembering.
448
00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:37,146
Now stop interrupting.
449
00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:41,942
We'd been summoned to
a meeting late one night.
450
00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:46,155
It was all very mysterious.
451
00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:49,325
Just didn't feel right.
452
00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:17,895
It's an ambush! Get down!
453
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:35,412
"Happy birthday"?
454
00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:41,877
I not only rumed
455
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:46,257
the biggest night of his life,
I spayed and neutered his in-laws.
456
00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:49,176
I broke my samurai oath.
457
00:32:50,219 --> 00:32:51,387
I was shamed.
458
00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:53,472
That's why I left.
459
00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:58,727
I'll make you a deal.
460
00:32:59,353 --> 00:33:00,688
We'll help each other.
461
00:33:04,775 --> 00:33:06,110
Not helpful.
462
00:33:33,888 --> 00:33:37,141
Today we begin something new.
463
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:41,187
I learned I cannot teach a dog
to be a cat.
464
00:33:41,687 --> 00:33:45,774
What I must do is teach a dog
to be a better dog.
465
00:33:46,859 --> 00:33:47,860
What's that?
466
00:33:47,943 --> 00:33:50,070
The blindfold is to help you focus.
467
00:33:51,238 --> 00:33:53,449
Now listen. Tell me what you hear.
468
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:55,701
I hear you talking and moving.
469
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:57,536
- Good.
- I hear a bird.
470
00:33:58,329 --> 00:34:00,623
- That's it.
- I smell flowers actually.
471
00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:03,500
Dogs have a keen sense of smell
and excellent hearing.
472
00:34:03,584 --> 00:34:04,710
I hear a dragonfly.
473
00:34:07,338 --> 00:34:09,006
I smell wood burning.
474
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,341
I smell tea brewing.
475
00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:17,431
Hey, are you making nachos?
'Cause someone just cut the cheese.
476
00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:19,683
Lesson over.
477
00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:21,518
Well done.
478
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:27,983
In battle as in life,
479
00:34:28,943 --> 00:34:31,487
a samurai strives to maintain his balance.
480
00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:38,035
And always defeats strength with smart.
481
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,756
I can dig it!
482
00:34:51,924 --> 00:34:55,719
You must control your fear,
or fear will control you.
483
00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:06,647
It is a dance in which a samurai
controls his space and his body.
484
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,371
What are you learning?
485
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:24,915
I don't like sticks as much as I used to?
486
00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,750
What are you learning in here?
487
00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:30,504
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in...
488
00:35:30,587 --> 00:35:34,717
No!
It is the size of the dog in the fight.
489
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,428
A big dog has fewer problems.
Let me demonstrate.
490
00:35:37,928 --> 00:35:39,179
Hold this.
491
00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:42,598
See?
492
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:45,019
That wouldn't happen to a big dog.
493
00:35:49,690 --> 00:35:51,358
We're still behind schedule.
494
00:35:51,859 --> 00:35:54,361
The shogun will be here in three days!
495
00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:01,327
Oops.
496
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:10,294
I'm surrounded by imbeciles!
Complete morons!
497
00:36:10,377 --> 00:36:14,548
It must be so hard for you.
The Patience and kindness that you show.
498
00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:17,468
Ohga, don't take this the wrong way, okay?
499
00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:22,306
But you are a total failure
and a major disappointment. No offense.
500
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:25,267
None taken.
Constructive criticism is always welcome.
501
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:30,105
I didn't expect much of you,
and you still disappointed me.
502
00:36:30,189 --> 00:36:31,273
Listen.
503
00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:35,527
The cats of kakamucho are no closer
to leaving than when we started.
504
00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:40,157
If you can't get the job done,
perhaps it's time for a real professional.
505
00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:42,534
Send in the beast.
506
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:50,501
Now get out.
507
00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:32,352
Do you mind? You're harshing my mellow.
508
00:38:32,436 --> 00:38:34,021
Oh. Sorry.
509
00:38:34,104 --> 00:38:36,732
- Teach me something.
- How about Patience?
510
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,609
Come on, teach me anything.
511
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:41,195
Seriously, let's do this.
I'm ready for it.
512
00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:44,615
- How about these?
- You're not ready for those.
513
00:38:44,698 --> 00:38:45,824
How hard can it be?
514
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:51,747
Samurai Hank!
515
00:38:52,456 --> 00:38:53,832
Sumo is in town!
516
00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:56,251
- What's a sumo?
- He's a giant!
517
00:38:56,335 --> 00:38:58,712
Samurai Hank, you have to do something!
518
00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:01,256
- Right.
- Oh, no!
519
00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:03,800
No, no, no, no, no.
520
00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:06,970
No way! You are not ready. Not even close.
521
00:39:07,054 --> 00:39:08,931
- Okay, then we'll go together.
- No, no, no.
522
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:12,851
Not my job. Not my fight.
And you are not prepared.
523
00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:14,978
So is someone going to do something?
524
00:39:15,062 --> 00:39:19,233
- Yeah, is someone gonna do something?
- No, someone's not.
525
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,502
You know she's gonna go over there.
526
00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,212
Not my student.
527
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:41,880
Not my problem.
528
00:39:56,019 --> 00:39:57,020
Sword!
529
00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:37,436
What are you doing? I had him!
530
00:40:37,519 --> 00:40:39,646
I know you did,
but this is kind of my job.
531
00:40:39,730 --> 00:40:41,857
I could totally take that guy!
532
00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:50,824
You should know that I am a
highly trained... mostly trained... warrior
533
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:53,827
skilled in the ways of karate
and swordplay.
534
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,579
As well as musical theater.
535
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,873
In your own best interest,
you should surrender.
536
00:40:57,956 --> 00:40:59,082
You're under arrest!
537
00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:07,674
Wait!
538
00:41:07,758 --> 00:41:09,176
You've got something on your...
539
00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:21,438
Sumo have edamame bean on face.
540
00:41:21,521 --> 00:41:23,649
Sumo very allergic.
541
00:41:23,732 --> 00:41:26,151
So, we're all good then?
542
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:28,945
Jimbo?
543
00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:31,865
Is your plan to let him hit you
until he gets tired?
544
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:33,867
- Maybe.
- Bold plan.
545
00:41:36,328 --> 00:41:37,496
Here he comes!
546
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,553
You wanted to be a samurai. Fun, isn't it?
547
00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:54,638
Now go get him!
548
00:41:55,347 --> 00:41:56,765
You can do it, Hank!
549
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,040
He has told you his weakness.
Remember, you defeat strength with smart.
550
00:42:22,124 --> 00:42:23,667
Now get back out there.
551
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:34,010
Head in the game, Hank!
552
00:43:11,882 --> 00:43:14,760
Yeah! That just happened!
553
00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:16,678
I'm a bad dog.
554
00:43:19,097 --> 00:43:21,558
Did you see what I just did there?
It was beautiful.
555
00:43:22,142 --> 00:43:23,685
And I would say "congratulations,"
556
00:43:23,769 --> 00:43:26,021
but since you're already
doing that yourself,
557
00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:27,272
let's get him to a doctor.
558
00:43:27,355 --> 00:43:29,399
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Got to do that.
559
00:43:29,483 --> 00:43:31,735
I might've really hurt him.
I mean, look at him.
560
00:43:49,795 --> 00:43:50,795
Did that hurt?
561
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:52,714
Didn't feel a thing.
562
00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:57,719
What about that?
563
00:43:57,803 --> 00:43:58,929
Nope.
564
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:06,436
Listen, sorry I had to do all this to you.
565
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,688
Sometimes I'm surprised
by my own strength.
566
00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:10,440
There's a new sheriff in town, all right?
567
00:44:10,524 --> 00:44:13,109
Better not let me catch you
breaking the law again, you feel me?
568
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:17,155
You're free to go.
569
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,783
No one ever beat sumo before.
570
00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:25,121
No one ever nice before.
Now have feelings for Hank.
571
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:30,085
Sumo want to live in kakamucho with Hank.
572
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:33,630
Well, who doesn't? Safe town like this one
with great law enforcement.
573
00:44:34,381 --> 00:44:35,757
Psst! It's for you.
574
00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:43,223
I wanted to say thank you
for defeating sumo.
575
00:44:43,306 --> 00:44:44,307
And you are welcome.
576
00:44:44,391 --> 00:44:47,686
Only one thing. We can never talk
on the street or anything like that.
577
00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,689
It just wouldn't look right,
you being a... you know.
578
00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:52,065
Yeah, I got you.
579
00:44:52,148 --> 00:44:53,149
Here.
580
00:44:56,278 --> 00:44:58,405
Thank you. You're Chuck, right?
581
00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:00,699
- Mmm, no.
- Chuck!
582
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:03,493
- We have to go.
- I have to go.
583
00:45:07,914 --> 00:45:09,416
Samurai Hank?
584
00:45:09,499 --> 00:45:11,668
We wanted to give you something.
585
00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:12,752
"We"?
586
00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:16,798
So your mom wanted to throw me a bone?
587
00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:18,884
No, my mom said to hand it to you.
588
00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:20,010
Why would she do that?
589
00:45:20,093 --> 00:45:23,638
Well, if I threw it, it might
get on the ground, all dirty and icky.
590
00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:26,224
No, I meant why would she want
to give me something?
591
00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:28,184
To thank you for saving our town.
592
00:45:28,268 --> 00:45:31,187
You are the best dog samurai
I have ever seen.
593
00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:33,398
I am the only dog samurai
you have ever seen.
594
00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:35,400
But I got to say, you're kind of right.
595
00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:38,236
I am mighty impressive
as far as samurais go.
596
00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:42,449
Are you all finished?
597
00:45:42,532 --> 00:45:45,577
'Cause it's getting late,
and a samurai needs his sleep.
598
00:45:58,673 --> 00:46:01,384
Really looks like
things are turning around for me, eh?
599
00:46:01,468 --> 00:46:03,678
You got lucky, kid.
Don't let it go to your head.
600
00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:05,263
Luck? Please.
601
00:46:05,347 --> 00:46:07,432
I should be registered as a lethal weapon.
602
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,395
Pride goeth before a fall.
603
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:15,357
What do you mean, your ninjas are afraid?
604
00:46:16,441 --> 00:46:19,402
Since the dog defeated sumo,
none of my cats want...
605
00:46:19,486 --> 00:46:23,114
The shogun will be here in two days!
I don't care if your ninja are afraid.
606
00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:26,910
Take them down to that roadblock
of a town and really just...
607
00:46:29,746 --> 00:46:32,624
- You know what I've done?
- Your hair and a catty-pedi?
608
00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:34,000
Yes. But no.
609
00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:37,754
I've outsmarted my own self
by employing that dog.
610
00:46:38,797 --> 00:46:40,173
Oh, nice.
611
00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,133
Me likey.
612
00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:45,512
The problem with
the good citizens of kakamucho
613
00:46:45,595 --> 00:46:48,056
is there are too many good citizens
in kakamucho.
614
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:51,351
It's time to take care of this mutt myself
615
00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:53,228
with the ultimate weapon.
616
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:04,781
Sumo,
like butterfly that was once caterpillar,
617
00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,825
fly like dandelion.
618
00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:09,494
It's a hat. And this one's a boat.
619
00:47:09,577 --> 00:47:10,829
That is really good.
620
00:47:16,543 --> 00:47:17,961
Oops. That was the hat.
621
00:47:18,628 --> 00:47:20,588
- What did you make?
- A swan.
622
00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:23,133
And some other stuff.
623
00:47:25,468 --> 00:47:27,345
Oh, wow. That's amazing.
624
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:30,390
You can make anything out of folded paper.
625
00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:32,100
All right, make me a sandwich.
626
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,854
It's not a sandwich, but here,
I made you something.
627
00:47:36,563 --> 00:47:37,689
For good luck.
628
00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:39,649
Looks like me.
629
00:47:39,733 --> 00:47:42,193
It will always remind you of who you are.
630
00:47:42,694 --> 00:47:46,114
Who you are?
Let's concentrate on who you are not.
631
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,074
And that would be a samurai.
632
00:47:48,158 --> 00:47:51,119
Come on, jimbo,
we're just enjoying a beautiful day.
633
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:53,455
The sun is shining, birds are singing.
634
00:47:53,997 --> 00:47:56,833
And besides, I deserve a break
for taking care of sumo.
635
00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:58,084
I mean, just look at him.
636
00:47:58,168 --> 00:48:00,170
Butterfly, oh...
637
00:48:00,253 --> 00:48:01,880
That's just the point.
638
00:48:01,963 --> 00:48:06,134
You have one little, itsy-bitsy,
tiny weeny bite of success...
639
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:07,927
- I'm sorry, tiny what?
- "Tiny what" what?
640
00:48:08,011 --> 00:48:09,011
- What?
- What?
641
00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,642
The point is,
this is no time for celebrating.
642
00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:18,271
It's time to double your efforts
and train even harder. Now get to it.
643
00:48:32,619 --> 00:48:33,745
Hank!
644
00:48:33,828 --> 00:48:35,955
My brawling, battling hero.
645
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,416
Sorry, I hope I'm not bothering you. Am I?
646
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,543
No, I was just getting a workout in.
647
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:41,669
Sure.
648
00:48:41,753 --> 00:48:45,757
Very impressive, you defeating sumo.
Oh, wow!
649
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,258
It was nothing.
650
00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:49,385
I'm sure it was... nothing.
651
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:53,431
Anyway, I came here to invite you
out on the town to celebrate.
652
00:48:53,515 --> 00:48:57,477
Tonight, I'm taking you
to the most exclusive club in the country.
653
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,854
Even the members aren't allowed in.
654
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:02,190
Wow, thank you, but I can't go.
655
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:05,235
I promised my teacher
I'd stay focused on my training.
656
00:49:05,318 --> 00:49:08,738
Right. Sounds like your teacher
is someone who's unhappy
657
00:49:08,822 --> 00:49:11,366
and wants everyone else to be unhappy too.
658
00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:13,701
Do you like fun? You like fun, don't you?
659
00:49:13,785 --> 00:49:16,704
- Of course I like fun! Fun is so fun!
- Fun is fun, isn't it?
660
00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,498
The clue is in the word.
661
00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:21,459
Drive. Bye! See you later! We'll have fun.
662
00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,048
It's just one night. It's not a big deal.
663
00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:29,926
It is a big deal. It's the only deal.
664
00:49:30,009 --> 00:49:33,096
You committed to me to go to the end,
and I did the same for you.
665
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:36,224
You are breaking your word.
666
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,352
I am not breaking my word.
We can start training again tomorrow.
667
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,063
But tonight I'm gonna have
some fun with my boss.
668
00:49:42,147 --> 00:49:43,731
I am your boss.
669
00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:47,152
- What?
- I am your boss!
670
00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:50,738
- My boss?
- I tell you what to do, and you do it.
671
00:49:50,822 --> 00:49:52,282
I thought you were my friend.
672
00:49:52,365 --> 00:49:55,493
I am your teacher. Your mentor.
673
00:49:55,577 --> 00:49:58,746
As I told you when we met,
I am not yourfriend.
674
00:49:58,830 --> 00:50:02,375
A samurai has only duty, not friends.
675
00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:04,752
Not my friend. Well, that just sounds sad.
676
00:50:04,836 --> 00:50:08,673
Like someone who is unhappy and wants
everyone else to be unhappy too.
677
00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:11,509
Well, I don't want to be unhappy.
I'm gonna go have some fun.
678
00:50:12,510 --> 00:50:15,763
I hope you succeed in having fun
679
00:50:15,847 --> 00:50:18,183
because you have failed
in everything else.
680
00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:21,603
You know a lot about failure, don't you?
681
00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:25,231
I defeated the unbeatable sumo in battle
and saved the town.
682
00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:27,859
You can't even get a birthday party right.
683
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:29,402
Don't wait up.
684
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,438
Bow and wow. This place is awesome!
685
00:51:06,022 --> 00:51:07,190
Where are you going?
686
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:09,567
- End of the line?
- Are you kidding?
687
00:51:09,651 --> 00:51:13,029
Hank, don't you get it?
There are no lines for you.
688
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:16,824
You are samurai Hank,
the hero of kakamucho!
689
00:51:16,908 --> 00:51:20,870
Oh, my gosh! That's samurai Hank,
the hero of kakamucho!
690
00:51:22,455 --> 00:51:24,207
"Vip." what's that mean?
691
00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,918
V.i.p. Very important pooch.
692
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:29,796
- After you.
- I don't have any ID.
693
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:34,175
You have something better than ID.
You have celebrity.
694
00:51:34,259 --> 00:51:35,260
Wait!
695
00:51:35,343 --> 00:51:38,346
- Can I have your autograph, Hank?
- Um, sure.
696
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:44,435
Now this is what
being a top dog is all about.
697
00:51:55,363 --> 00:51:59,492
Private table, Hank? Dog treat, Hank?
Scratch behind your ears, Hank?
698
00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:01,744
Oh, my gosh!
Can we take a picture with you?
699
00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:03,788
- You look hot.
- Who licks your hair?
700
00:52:05,999 --> 00:52:07,250
Thank you, Hank!
701
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:10,086
You're my favorite samurai!
702
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:14,340
Is it everything I promised?
703
00:52:14,424 --> 00:52:17,635
Don't get me wrong,
this is all so fantastic. It's just...
704
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,179
You don't think
that I'm being a glory seeker, do you?
705
00:52:20,263 --> 00:52:23,683
Hank, never miss an opportunity
to pat yourself on the back.
706
00:52:30,023 --> 00:52:34,068
And there's no other place
I would rather you be tonight.
707
00:52:36,029 --> 00:52:38,656
You ready? Let's do this!
708
00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:38,383
The ninjas are here! Samurai Hank!
The ninjas are...
709
00:53:38,466 --> 00:53:39,801
Right here!
710
00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:54,857
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
711
00:53:54,941 --> 00:53:56,442
Good job. Well done.
712
00:53:56,526 --> 00:53:59,153
Autograph, lovely touch there.
Little bonus for you.
713
00:53:59,237 --> 00:54:01,906
Thank you. Thank you. Good job. Well done.
714
00:54:37,692 --> 00:54:38,818
Jimbo.
715
00:54:39,444 --> 00:54:41,112
Yo, jimbo! Jimbo.
716
00:54:41,821 --> 00:54:44,073
You're okay? What happened here?
717
00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:46,576
The ninjas showed up again last night.
718
00:54:46,659 --> 00:54:50,037
And where were you?
Having fun with your boss.
719
00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:53,791
- What about you?
- I failed my oath for the last time.
720
00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:55,960
Where's my sword?
721
00:54:56,586 --> 00:54:57,587
Right.
722
00:54:57,670 --> 00:54:59,714
They've taken sumo
to the fortress dungeon.
723
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,716
Now I'm going to get him back.
724
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,177
I'll go with you. We're both samurai and...
725
00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:08,181
You are not samurai!
You were a selfish idiot.
726
00:55:08,681 --> 00:55:11,309
Today, you are nothing.
727
00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,644
You just don't want to admit
that I beat sumo.
728
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:16,731
- You never...
- You really believe that?
729
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:19,901
Edamame was responsible
for your greatest victory.
730
00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:21,295
Edamame? What does that have to do...
731
00:55:21,319 --> 00:55:24,614
I failed to teach,
and you failed to learn.
732
00:55:24,697 --> 00:55:26,199
I've learned a lot from you.
733
00:55:26,282 --> 00:55:29,577
Like when things get tough,
you can hide in the bottom of a bottle.
734
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:34,165
I'm sorry, jimbo. I didn't mean that.
735
00:55:34,749 --> 00:55:36,626
You're on the horse backwards.
736
00:55:39,212 --> 00:55:40,546
Goodbye, dog.
737
00:55:43,716 --> 00:55:45,009
See ya, cat!
738
00:55:46,636 --> 00:55:49,180
Where were you, "great samurai"?
739
00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:51,182
Thanks for nothing!
740
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:54,435
'Cause guess what? You did nothing!
741
00:55:54,519 --> 00:55:57,522
And I'm thanking you sarcastically!
742
00:55:58,356 --> 00:55:59,565
Good, I'm out of here.
743
00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,377
Gonna get on the first boat
and get home and...
744
00:56:02,401 --> 00:56:03,528
That's right. Go.
745
00:56:04,737 --> 00:56:06,113
- Emiko.
- Go back home.
746
00:56:06,906 --> 00:56:08,407
Maybe my mom was right.
747
00:56:08,491 --> 00:56:10,701
Maybe dogs can't be samurai!
748
00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:24,585
It will always remind you of who you are.
749
00:58:51,696 --> 00:58:52,863
What are you doing here?
750
00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:56,450
I couldn't help myself. I'm a dog.
That makes me loyal.
751
00:58:56,534 --> 00:58:58,035
So I'm here to make things right.
752
00:58:58,119 --> 00:59:00,538
You really think
you can just come back here,
753
00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:01,956
and that makes everything okay?
754
00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:05,376
As a matter of fact, I do.
I'm back! You should be happy.
755
00:59:05,459 --> 00:59:06,460
Well, I'm not.
756
00:59:06,544 --> 00:59:09,255
You might as well turn around
and go back where you came from.
757
00:59:09,338 --> 00:59:10,589
I'm not going anywhere.
758
00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:13,384
Sumo is in there,
and I'm not leaving until we get him out.
759
00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,302
We can resolve our differences later.
760
00:59:17,430 --> 00:59:18,681
What now?
761
00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:22,601
You defeat strength with smart.
Somebody taught me that.
762
00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:25,354
Do you have any ideas?
763
00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:29,859
This is smart?
764
00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:40,953
Watch your back!
765
00:59:41,036 --> 00:59:44,415
- You do care.
- Only about saving sumo.
766
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,042
You I could do without.
767
00:59:51,130 --> 00:59:52,465
Now what?
768
00:59:52,548 --> 00:59:54,550
We have to figure out a way in.
769
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:03,100
- Pretty good idea, huh?
- Stop wagging your tail.
770
01:00:03,184 --> 01:00:05,895
I didn't say it was a good idea,
I just said it doesn't suck.
771
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:13,978
All right, genius, which way?
772
01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:16,238
To the left.
773
01:00:19,992 --> 01:00:20,993
What do you got?
774
01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:24,455
Got a d-o-g who's d-o-a.
Want to get him out of sight, p-d-o.
775
01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:26,749
A-s-a-p, huh? Okay.
776
01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,841
I'm not even a full-time security guard!
I'm just a temp!
777
01:00:39,220 --> 01:00:40,387
Let's roll, fido.
778
01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,767
Okay. Now, this could be difficult
and might take a while,
779
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,060
so let's split up.
780
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,688
I'll take the areas to the north and west.
You go south and east.
781
01:00:49,772 --> 01:00:51,565
Let's try to be methodical about this.
782
01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:55,861
There could be thousands of cells here,
and this could take hours, maybe days.
783
01:00:55,945 --> 01:00:57,655
He's right over here.
784
01:00:57,738 --> 01:00:59,824
Hey, sumo, we're here to save you.
785
01:01:02,368 --> 01:01:04,203
Guess we should've stolen some keys.
786
01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,286
Stand back.
787
01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:11,836
Well, at least you tried.
788
01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:17,049
Doggy door.
789
01:01:19,844 --> 01:01:22,429
Uh, complication
in the "saving him" department.
790
01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:24,557
Hank no need to save sumo.
791
01:01:25,349 --> 01:01:27,893
Sumo just prawn in ocean of life.
792
01:01:27,977 --> 01:01:30,437
Of course we have to save you.
You're our friend.
793
01:01:30,521 --> 01:01:31,647
Fiends?
794
01:01:32,398 --> 01:01:35,025
Sumo overcome with emotion.
795
01:01:37,111 --> 01:01:41,073
While I appreciate the bro-fest,
we should probably get out of here.
796
01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:43,826
Wait a second.
I've got to Mark my territory.
797
01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,244
We don't have time for that.
798
01:01:45,327 --> 01:01:48,038
But it's a dog thing.
I want them to know I was here.
799
01:01:48,122 --> 01:01:49,456
I even had asparagus last night.
800
01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:50,708
We don't have time!
801
01:01:51,417 --> 01:01:54,628
- We have to get back to kakamucho.
- When we get there, what's the plan?
802
01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:57,006
At this moment,
it is not so important what we do
803
01:01:57,089 --> 01:01:59,508
as it is important that we do something.
804
01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,343
Not sure yet what that something is.
805
01:02:25,993 --> 01:02:29,955
Remember! Fear is only in your mind.
806
01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:31,749
And a little bit in my kimono.
807
01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,356
Jimbo!
808
01:02:58,776 --> 01:03:00,736
- Jimbo, no!
- Both of you get out of here.
809
01:03:00,819 --> 01:03:02,863
- What about you?
- Don't worry about me!
810
01:03:02,947 --> 01:03:04,698
You have to get back to kakamucho.
811
01:03:04,782 --> 01:03:06,241
But we're a team.
812
01:03:06,325 --> 01:03:11,538
No, I have to do this.
And there is no team in I.
813
01:03:12,581 --> 01:03:13,999
But there is an I
814
01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,876
in samurai.
815
01:03:24,051 --> 01:03:26,762
You can't die!
Our issues aren't resolved yet!
816
01:04:03,090 --> 01:04:04,550
Heimlich maneuver.
817
01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:09,638
You saved my life! But you touched me.
818
01:04:10,973 --> 01:04:13,767
If that ever happens again,
let me die, okay?
819
01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:15,185
Now, what is it?
820
01:04:15,269 --> 01:04:17,104
The prisoner escaped.
821
01:04:17,938 --> 01:04:20,149
You let the big cat out of the bag,
didn't you?
822
01:04:20,232 --> 01:04:21,734
Of course you did.
823
01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:25,988
Right. Okay.
Now, someone is going to pay for this.
824
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:30,242
I'm not saying who,
but probably someone very, very stupid.
825
01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:32,870
Do you know what a scapegoat is, ohga?
826
01:04:32,953 --> 01:04:36,874
No, but if there's a goat around here,
I will have him arrested immediately.
827
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,209
Ah, brainless. Absolute...
828
01:04:39,293 --> 01:04:41,086
And that goes for all of you.
829
01:04:41,170 --> 01:04:45,924
Anyway, never mind. I already have
another plan progressing nicely.
830
01:04:46,008 --> 01:04:49,678
A much bigger plan
with even more deadly consequences.
831
01:04:51,180 --> 01:04:53,098
My lord, pardon the intrusion.
832
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,975
- What is it?
- It's the super bowl.
833
01:04:55,059 --> 01:04:56,393
It's overflowing!
834
01:04:56,477 --> 01:04:59,688
Jiggle the handle! Jiggle the handle!
835
01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:14,411
Where's everyone going?
836
01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:17,247
Emiko, what's going on?
837
01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:19,665
Emiko?
838
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:22,336
- Emiko!
- Look at this! Have you read this?
839
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:24,922
- No.
- Well, would you read it to me?
840
01:05:25,005 --> 01:05:28,342
"Help wanted: Vicious killers
for the destruction of kakamucho.
841
01:05:28,425 --> 01:05:30,969
Prior criminal record a must.
An equal-opportunity employer."
842
01:05:31,053 --> 01:05:33,597
Can't you see this is just the last act
of a desperate cat?
843
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,058
We don't care if it's the first act
of mamma Mia!
844
01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:38,727
We're leaving before that army gets here.
845
01:05:57,788 --> 01:05:59,957
Right. How are we doing? Let's see.
846
01:06:00,791 --> 01:06:04,419
Cutthroats, good. Bounty hunters,
desperados, biker gangs, excellent.
847
01:06:04,503 --> 01:06:08,382
Mugs, thugs, nitwits, dimwits,
mobsters, muggers, bushwhackers.
848
01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:10,759
Hornswogglers, serial killers...
849
01:06:10,843 --> 01:06:12,386
Studio executives?
850
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:14,888
Wow, it looks like everyone's here. Great!
851
01:06:14,972 --> 01:06:16,223
What about him?
852
01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:17,808
Well, yes,
853
01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:20,602
he is scary, but in the wrong way.
854
01:06:20,686 --> 01:06:21,728
Arrest him.
855
01:06:28,152 --> 01:06:30,696
Wait, wait! Please, hear me out.
856
01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:32,906
You all need to know something.
857
01:06:33,407 --> 01:06:38,412
In an heroic effort to protect your town,
today we lost jimbo.
858
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,456
No, no, not jimbo!
859
01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:43,333
- Who's jimbo?
- I don't know.
860
01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,961
- Didn't he date your sister?
- No, that was gumbo.
861
01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:47,754
Why did you even come back?
862
01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,882
We're leaving, Hank.
863
01:06:49,965 --> 01:06:52,551
We're all gonna start new lives
somewhere else.
864
01:06:53,594 --> 01:06:54,928
Sure. Go.
865
01:06:55,804 --> 01:06:59,349
After all, you're cats.
You've got nine lives, right?
866
01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:02,769
But I'm a dog. I have one life.
867
01:07:02,853 --> 01:07:06,106
And the best thing that happened
to me in this one life
868
01:07:06,690 --> 01:07:08,025
is this town.
869
01:07:08,108 --> 01:07:10,652
You had faith in me. You trusted me.
870
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,364
And I want to earn that trust back so bad,
871
01:07:14,448 --> 01:07:17,910
I'm willing to lay my one life down
for your, uh...
872
01:07:18,744 --> 01:07:23,540
Let's see, 247 times 9,
um, and then carry the 5...
873
01:07:23,624 --> 01:07:25,667
2,223.
874
01:07:25,751 --> 01:07:27,920
- 2,000?
- 223.
875
01:07:28,003 --> 01:07:29,880
Right. Now what do you say?
876
01:07:30,422 --> 01:07:31,798
Life is short,
877
01:07:31,882 --> 01:07:35,177
and this movie is only 85 minutes long,
not including end credits.
878
01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,637
So we have to hurry.
879
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:37,930
If we're gonna save this town,
880
01:07:38,013 --> 01:07:41,183
we have to find a way beyond
judging each other strictly on
881
01:07:41,850 --> 01:07:44,228
labels like "dog" and "cat."
882
01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:46,688
Together, we can get past all that.
883
01:07:47,356 --> 01:07:49,024
We can all be better
884
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:51,318
together!
885
01:07:56,865 --> 01:08:00,369
It's a metaphor,
saying we are all the same.
886
01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:05,123
Look different on the outside,
but we can choose for ourselves
887
01:08:05,207 --> 01:08:07,876
what our insides look like.
888
01:08:08,502 --> 01:08:11,213
See now, the big guy makes a lot of sense.
889
01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:13,590
Right? So, sumo, what do we do now?
890
01:08:13,674 --> 01:08:14,925
So what do we do?
891
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,593
Well, step one,
892
01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,263
we need to destroy
their lines of communication.
893
01:08:20,973 --> 01:08:22,808
I've cut the telephone line!
894
01:08:22,891 --> 01:08:24,059
Step two,
895
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:28,063
someone taught me that we can make
anything out of folded paper.
896
01:08:33,068 --> 01:08:35,904
How's everyone doing? Feeling evil? Yeah?
897
01:08:35,988 --> 01:08:38,573
Don't be stingy
with the poison on those arrows.
898
01:08:38,657 --> 01:08:40,117
Everyone get plenty to eat?
899
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:43,495
You can't crush the innocent
on an empty stomach, can you?
900
01:08:43,578 --> 01:08:47,374
Enjoy the entrée
because dessert is death and destruction.
901
01:08:50,460 --> 01:08:54,089
Who knew an evil army
could go through so many beans?
902
01:08:54,172 --> 01:08:56,508
Right. Assemble the troops!
903
01:09:28,290 --> 01:09:31,460
Ah, the smell of victory in the air.
904
01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:35,297
Go, my terrible army!
905
01:09:35,380 --> 01:09:39,343
Go to kakamucho and do your worst!
906
01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:41,720
Oh, and don't forget,
907
01:09:41,803 --> 01:09:44,598
save your receipts!
908
01:09:59,363 --> 01:10:01,114
The signal. They're coming!
909
01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:02,824
They're coming!
910
01:10:03,408 --> 01:10:05,744
It's showtime.
All right, everyone knows what to do.
911
01:10:16,755 --> 01:10:18,382
This is the best bit, isn't it?
912
01:10:18,465 --> 01:10:20,801
Waiting for the death and destruct...
913
01:10:20,884 --> 01:10:22,886
Nah, the best bit is the death
and destruct...
914
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,554
This is the second best bit.
915
01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:28,975
Kakamucho is going out of business.
Everything must go!
916
01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:33,897
Ah, yes!
917
01:10:33,980 --> 01:10:35,524
Go, team, go!
918
01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:46,993
They're falling for it!
They're falling for it!
919
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:49,788
- Ichiro!
- I'm right here.
920
01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:50,871
You're up.
921
01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:58,296
One, you got to account
for elevation and wind. And two...
922
01:11:00,215 --> 01:11:02,050
- Got to watch for birds.
- Whoops.
923
01:11:02,134 --> 01:11:04,386
- Bird got in the way.
- Just try again.
924
01:11:04,469 --> 01:11:06,221
I only had the one bullet.
925
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,304
What are we gonna do?
926
01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:09,808
They'll find out any minute
that we folded them a fake town.
927
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:28,535
We've been tricked!
928
01:11:37,961 --> 01:11:40,714
Oh, my.
929
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:49,681
Time to clean up this town.
930
01:11:50,265 --> 01:11:51,349
Let's go get 'em!
931
01:12:41,525 --> 01:12:44,027
Way to go, emiko! Woo-woo!
932
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:46,071
Mom, you're embarrassing me.
933
01:12:52,327 --> 01:12:53,537
Sit!
934
01:13:00,835 --> 01:13:03,630
It's the shogun!
935
01:13:09,302 --> 01:13:10,345
What was that?
936
01:13:10,428 --> 01:13:11,972
Now that's a car.
937
01:13:14,182 --> 01:13:15,559
My magnificence.
938
01:13:15,642 --> 01:13:18,353
What in the wide, wide world of sports
is going on here?
939
01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:21,273
That's him! The troublemaking dog
that started all this.
940
01:13:21,356 --> 01:13:22,816
Arrest that dog!
941
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,901
- Arrest the dog.
- Yes!
942
01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:30,615
Ouch. Oh, come on.
943
01:13:30,699 --> 01:13:32,492
Ohga, take care of him!
944
01:13:32,576 --> 01:13:33,702
Is he sick?
945
01:13:33,785 --> 01:13:36,788
No, you simpleminded twit! Finish him!
946
01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:47,173
What the mother father cocker spaniel's
going on here?
947
01:13:47,674 --> 01:13:49,259
Jimbo, you're alive!
948
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,222
- So that's jimbo!
- See? He did date your sister.
949
01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:57,976
Okay, okay, that's enough.
950
01:13:58,059 --> 01:13:59,269
Down, boy!
951
01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:01,062
Jimbo, is that you?
952
01:14:01,146 --> 01:14:02,272
Toshi?
953
01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:05,108
You are the shogun?
954
01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:06,276
Yeah, sure.
955
01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:10,614
It took years to work my way up
through the ranks, but look at me now.
956
01:14:10,697 --> 01:14:12,032
What happened to you?
957
01:14:12,115 --> 01:14:16,077
I was shamed, my lord. I am so, so sorry.
958
01:14:16,578 --> 01:14:18,997
- I ruined your birthday.
- Are you kidding?
959
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:21,249
Best birthday party I ever had!
960
01:14:21,333 --> 01:14:23,918
Most surprise parties are so boring.
961
01:14:24,002 --> 01:14:27,005
But that year, that was a real surprise.
962
01:14:27,088 --> 01:14:30,216
I tell that story all the time.
Always brings the house down.
963
01:14:30,300 --> 01:14:32,302
And the stuff with your in-laws?
964
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:35,221
My in-laws, oh!
Please, don't get me started.
965
01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:38,224
In-laws you don't pick.
Friends you choose.
966
01:14:38,308 --> 01:14:41,227
And you, jimbo, are my friend.
967
01:14:41,311 --> 01:14:42,812
So you forgive me?
968
01:14:42,896 --> 01:14:45,065
Forgiven. Forgotten. No biggie.
969
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:47,734
Hey, life's short. Like me. Let's move on.
970
01:14:49,194 --> 01:14:51,112
So, what's up with the dog?
971
01:14:51,196 --> 01:14:54,324
That "dog" was defending kakamucho.
972
01:14:54,407 --> 01:14:57,577
A dog defending the town? Why?
973
01:14:57,661 --> 01:15:00,288
Because lord ika here
was trying to get rid of it.
974
01:15:00,372 --> 01:15:03,249
Don't believe him!
I was just trying to get rid of that dog!
975
01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:06,211
You see? Nike shoe was only trying
to get rid of the dog.
976
01:15:06,294 --> 01:15:08,922
But, sir,
that dog isn't what you think he is.
977
01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:10,006
He isn't?
978
01:15:10,090 --> 01:15:13,301
I'm not following you.
Can someone else explain this?
979
01:15:13,385 --> 01:15:14,552
Allow me.
980
01:15:14,636 --> 01:15:16,471
Ika chu wanted to get rid of the dog
981
01:15:16,554 --> 01:15:18,314
because he was getting in the way
of his plan
982
01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:20,100
to frighten the cats of kakamucho
983
01:15:20,183 --> 01:15:22,310
so that he could wipe their town
off the map
984
01:15:22,394 --> 01:15:25,563
in order to make
his palace absolutely perfect.
985
01:15:25,647 --> 01:15:26,981
Wha...?
986
01:15:27,607 --> 01:15:29,609
Did I leave anything out?
987
01:15:30,318 --> 01:15:31,319
Brains?
988
01:15:31,403 --> 01:15:34,531
Well, peek-a-boo,
what do you got to say for yourself?
989
01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:36,032
You want an explanation?
990
01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:38,535
You're gonna get one.
991
01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:40,662
I am...
992
01:15:41,413 --> 01:15:42,664
Running away!
993
01:15:43,540 --> 01:15:46,126
Looks like we got
a little more samurai-ing to do.
994
01:17:03,578 --> 01:17:04,578
Oh, you...
995
01:17:14,631 --> 01:17:16,549
Wait, wait, stop, stop!
996
01:17:17,342 --> 01:17:18,343
Right.
997
01:17:19,010 --> 01:17:22,096
I have something very important
to tell you, Hank.
998
01:17:22,180 --> 01:17:23,348
What is it?
999
01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:25,141
I am your father.
1000
01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:26,976
- No, you're not.
- No, I'm not.
1001
01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:33,316
I distracted you!
1002
01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:37,487
I'm certainly not about to get outwitted
by a stupid dog
1003
01:17:37,570 --> 01:17:40,448
who's not even a real samurai.
1004
01:17:41,241 --> 01:17:44,536
Oh, but you're wrong. I am a real samurai.
1005
01:17:44,619 --> 01:17:47,038
I got a cup right here that says so!
1006
01:17:53,837 --> 01:17:54,879
Grab on!
1007
01:17:56,965 --> 01:17:59,133
No! No, see... ohga!
1008
01:17:59,217 --> 01:18:01,261
You don't understand this concept, do you?
1009
01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:04,097
I will save you!
1010
01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:11,479
Oh, my.
1011
01:18:14,524 --> 01:18:16,109
What the flush?
1012
01:18:16,776 --> 01:18:19,028
Ohga! Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
1013
01:18:19,112 --> 01:18:20,112
I am, sir.
1014
01:18:21,990 --> 01:18:24,242
Thar she blows!
1015
01:18:37,505 --> 01:18:39,173
This palace is gonna blow.
1016
01:18:39,257 --> 01:18:41,885
And when it does,
all this water is going straight down to...
1017
01:18:42,552 --> 01:18:43,887
Kakamucho!
1018
01:18:43,970 --> 01:18:46,139
- What can we do?
- We don't have much time.
1019
01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:47,765
We've got to do something.
1020
01:19:03,197 --> 01:19:04,240
One, please.
1021
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:18,129
Guys, you got to help me!
The giant toilet is overflowing!
1022
01:19:18,713 --> 01:19:20,840
Have you tried to jiggle the handle?
1023
01:19:20,924 --> 01:19:23,384
Too late for that. But I have an idea.
1024
01:19:27,889 --> 01:19:29,098
We're listening.
1025
01:19:29,182 --> 01:19:30,642
But you better make it snappy!
1026
01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:31,809
We've had our differences,
1027
01:19:31,893 --> 01:19:34,622
but the times we've actually
worked together we've accomplished a lot.
1028
01:19:34,646 --> 01:19:36,981
So if you trust me,
I think we can save the town.
1029
01:19:37,565 --> 01:19:38,900
That was pretty snappy.
1030
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:40,401
What do you want us to do?
1031
01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:42,111
Dig!
1032
01:19:42,695 --> 01:19:44,030
But cats don't dig.
1033
01:19:44,113 --> 01:19:46,324
Okay, so you don't dig. Can you swim?
1034
01:20:01,506 --> 01:20:03,174
You heard him. Dig!
1035
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,293
Hurry up!
1036
01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,306
Where are they?
1037
01:20:53,933 --> 01:20:55,226
Help! Help!
1038
01:20:58,646 --> 01:20:59,646
Help!
1039
01:21:11,367 --> 01:21:12,452
Emiko!
1040
01:21:52,784 --> 01:21:53,785
I've got you.
1041
01:22:15,306 --> 01:22:17,725
Well, that pretty much wraps things up.
1042
01:22:17,809 --> 01:22:20,603
Almost 85 minutes exactly.
1043
01:22:20,686 --> 01:22:25,066
All that's left is appointing
a new samurai for kakamucho.
1044
01:22:25,650 --> 01:22:27,485
What do you say, jimbo?
1045
01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:28,945
Me, my lord?
1046
01:22:29,028 --> 01:22:32,406
Why not?
I can't think of anyone better, can you?
1047
01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:38,121
I can. Kakamucho already has a samurai.
1048
01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:39,330
The dog?
1049
01:22:39,413 --> 01:22:42,792
He can't be a samurai.
He can't be anywhere. It's the law.
1050
01:22:42,875 --> 01:22:44,669
You know the rules: "No dogs allowed."
1051
01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:47,004
It's not personal, it's just business.
1052
01:22:47,505 --> 01:22:49,924
And you know what they say:
There's no business...
1053
01:22:50,007 --> 01:22:52,176
Like shogun business!
1054
01:22:52,260 --> 01:22:53,845
Exactally!
1055
01:22:53,928 --> 01:22:56,097
But he's not a dog.
1056
01:22:58,891 --> 01:23:00,184
He's my friend.
1057
01:23:00,268 --> 01:23:03,271
And more than that, he's our samurai.
1058
01:23:03,354 --> 01:23:06,399
- He is?
- That's what I was trying to tell you.
1059
01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:10,153
Wow. You live nine lives,
you get to see everything.
1060
01:23:10,236 --> 01:23:12,280
Who knew? A dog samurai.
1061
01:23:12,363 --> 01:23:14,574
Hank is not a dog samurai.
1062
01:23:14,657 --> 01:23:17,076
Hank is a great samurai!
1063
01:23:17,160 --> 01:23:19,662
A truly great samurai!
1064
01:23:19,745 --> 01:23:22,331
Woof, woof, woof, woof!
1065
01:23:22,415 --> 01:23:27,503
Then I dub thee town samurai of kakamucho.
1066
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:31,799
Actually,
you already officially appointed him.
1067
01:23:31,883 --> 01:23:33,176
- I did?
- Yeah.
1068
01:23:33,259 --> 01:23:35,178
I had an official samurai cup
and everything.
1069
01:23:35,261 --> 01:23:37,638
Oh, well, if you had an official cup
and everything...
1070
01:23:37,722 --> 01:23:39,682
And I don't know what that means...
1071
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:42,977
But I bet
you don't have an official sword.
1072
01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:50,860
Wait. Please wait.
1073
01:23:52,111 --> 01:23:54,780
Thank you. But I can't accept this honor.
1074
01:23:55,364 --> 01:23:57,575
- Why not?
- Yeah, why not?
1075
01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,245
I have a contract with my teacher
1076
01:24:01,329 --> 01:24:03,289
that says
I haven't yet finished my training.
1077
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,255
But there is someone else
that's most deserving of this honor.
1078
01:24:12,882 --> 01:24:13,883
Emiko.
1079
01:24:14,634 --> 01:24:16,552
You are a true samurai.
1080
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:19,847
The little one?
1081
01:24:19,931 --> 01:24:22,975
Yes, my lord.
She's always defended the town.
1082
01:24:23,059 --> 01:24:25,228
I will carry it with honor.
1083
01:24:25,311 --> 01:24:26,729
I know you will.
1084
01:24:40,493 --> 01:24:43,204
So how does it feel to be a real samurai?
1085
01:24:43,287 --> 01:24:46,999
Good. But not as good as it will feel
someday when I'm the shogun.
1086
01:24:47,083 --> 01:24:49,252
The shogun? You?
1087
01:24:51,254 --> 01:24:52,505
You know something?
1088
01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:55,091
That ain't such a bad idea. Sure, why not?
1089
01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:56,592
And I got to tell you,
1090
01:24:57,176 --> 01:24:58,928
it's good to be the shogun.
1091
01:25:09,605 --> 01:25:11,607
Milk's on me!
1092
01:25:14,652 --> 01:25:16,529
Kind of warms your heart, doesn't it?
1093
01:25:19,031 --> 01:25:20,908
- What's that for?
- Defend yourself!
1094
01:25:22,159 --> 01:25:25,621
- Wait, wait, stop! Time-out. Stop.
- No.
1095
01:25:26,372 --> 01:25:27,999
- That hurts.
- Got you again!
1096
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,085
How does that feel?
This is my favorite part.
1097
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:32,712
The part where you suffer.
1098
01:37:43,692 --> 01:37:47,863
Doggone it. Still, at least
I don't have to do the sequel.
77767
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