All language subtitles for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-English

WOMAN: Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles

And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages

Tied up with strings

These are a few

Of my favorite things

DUKE NARRATING: We were somewhere around
Barstow, on the edge of the desert,

when the drugs
began to take hold.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)

l remember saying
something like...

I feel a bit lightheaded.

(EXCLAIMING)
Maybe you should drive.

(BATS SCREECHING)

DUKE NARRATING: Suddenly there was
a terrible roar all around us.

And the sky was full of
what looked like huge bats.

All swooping and screeching
and diving around the car.

And a voice was screaming...

Holy Jesus! What are
these goddamn animals?

(GRUNTING)

(SINGING) Come on, baby

You say something?
Hmm?

Never mind.

It's your turn to drive.

DUKE NARRATING: No point in
mentioning these bats, l thought.

The poor bastard'll
see them soon enough.

(SINGING) Baby,
l'm starting to feel human

Ohh, ohh, yeah

Hey, hey, feel with me, baby

'Cause l feel it coming on

Fucking pigs! Flying!

All right, let's see.

We had 2 bags of grass,
75 pellets of mescaline,

5 sheets of
high-powered blotter acid,

a salt shaker
half full of cocaine,

a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers,
downers, screamers, laughers.

Also, a quart of tequila,
a quart of rum,

a case of beer,
a pint of raw ether...

Shit!

2 dozen amyls.

Not that we needed
all that for the trip,

but once you get locked into
a serious drug collection,

the tendency is to
push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really
worried me was the ether.

There is nothing
in the world more helpless

and irresponsible and depraved

than a man in the depths
of an ether binge,

and l knew we'd get into that
rotten stuff pretty soon.

WOMAN ON RADIO: A House
subcommittee report says,

illegal drugs killed
1 60 American Gls last year,

40 of them in Vietnam.

Drugs...

(SINGING) One toke over
the line Sweet Jesus

One toke, man!

One toke over the line!

Sitting downtown
at a railway station

One toke over the line!

One toke, you poor fool?

Sweet, sweet Mary!

Wait'll you see those
goddamned bats, man.

Mine!

One toke over the line

Let's give that boy a lift.

What? No!

Wait! We can't stop here.

This is bat country.

Hot damn! I never rode
in a convertible before!

Is that right? Well, I guess you're
about ready then, aren't you?

We're your friends.

We're not like the others,
man. Really.

No more of that talk or I'll put the
fucking leeches on you. Understand?

(GONZO GIGGLING)

Get in.

DUKE NARRATING: How long
could we maintain, l wondered.

How long before one of us starts
raving and jabbering at this boy?

What will he think then?

This same lonely desert was the last
known home of the Manson family.

Would he make
that grim connection

when my attorney starts
screaming about bats

and huge manta rays
coming down on the car?

Lf so, well, we'll just have to cut
his head off and bury him somewhere.

'Cause it goes without saying
that we can't turn him loose.

He'd report us at once

to some kind of outback
Nazi law enforcement agency

and they'll run us down
like dogs.

Jesus, did l say that,
or just think it?

Was l talking?
Did they hear me?

It's okay.

Just admiring
the shape of your skull.

BOY: No, thanks!

Maybe l'd better have a chat with
this boy, l thought. I have asthma!

Perhaps if l explain things,
he'll rest easy.

All right, listen.

There's one thing you should
probably understand.

Can you hear me?

Good.

(EXCLAIMS) I want you to
have all the background.

This is a very
ominous assignment

with overtones
of extreme personal danger.

I'm a Doctor of Journalism,
man.

This is important, goddamn it!
This is a fucking true story!

Shit! Hey, what're you doing?
Sit down. Get the fuck...

Get your hands
off my fucking head!

Now, now, now.

DUKE NARRATING: Our vibrations
were getting nasty, but why?

Was there no communication
in this car?

Had we deteriorated
to the level of dumb beasts?

I want you to understand that this
man at the wheel is my attorney.

He's not just some dingbat
I found on the Strip, man.

He's a foreigner.

I think he's probably Samoan.

It doesn't matter,
though, does it?

Are you prejudiced?

Hell, no.

I didn't think so.

Because in spite of his race, this
man is extremely valuable to me.

Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer.
You want some?

No.

How about some ether?

What?

Never mind. All right, let's get
right to the heart of this thing.

24 hours ago we were sitting...

DUKE NARRATING: in the Pogo
Lounge of the Beverly Heights Hotel.

Ln the patio section,
of course.

Drinking Singapore Slings
with mescal on the side.

Hiding from the brutish realities
of this foul year of our Lord,

1 971.

Cops were going apeshit...

(MUTTERING)

Perhaps this is the call you've been
waiting for all this time, sir.

Perhaps.

Yeah?

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm. Really?
All right. Yeah?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Bye.

That was headquarters.
They want me to...

(CLEARS THROAT)

(COINS CLATTERING)

(WHISPERING) Thank you.

They want me to go
to Las Vegas at once.

Make contact with a Portuguese
photographer named Lacerda.

He'll have all the details.

All I have to do is check
into my soundproof suite.

He'll seek me out.
What do you think?

Sounds like real trouble.

You're gonna need plenty of legal
advice before this thing is over.

Oh, yeah.

As your attorney, I advise you

to rent a very fast car
with no top.

And you'll need the cocaine.

Tape recorder
for special music.

Acapulco shirts.

Get the hell out of L.A.
for at least 48 hours.

Blows my weekend.
Why?

'Cause, naturally, I'm
gonna have to go with you.

And we're gonna have to
arm ourselves to the teeth.

Well, why not?

I mean, if a thing's worth
doing, it's worth doing right.

This is the American Dream
in action.

Wait!

Shit, we'd be fools not to ride this strange
torpedo all the way out to the end.

Indeed. We must do it.

What kind of story is this?

It's the Mint 400.

The richest off-road race for
motorcycles and dune buggies

in the history
of organized sport.

It's a fantastic spectacle in
honor of some fatback grosero,

who owns the luxurious Mint
Hotel in downtown Las Vegas.

At least that's what the
press release says, anyway.

Well, as your attorney, I
advise you to buy a motorcycle.

How else can you cover
a thing like this righteously?

Well, we're gonna have to
drum it up on our own.

Pure Gonzo journalism.

Shit!

(TIRES SQUEALING)

DUKE NARRATING: Getting hold of the
drugs and shirts had been no problem.

But the car and tape recorder
were not easy things to round up

at 6:30 on a Friday afternoon
in Hollywood.

Sounds beautiful.

Great. Hang on to it.

Fucking A, the gentleman
has a major credit card!

That's right, man. Don't take any
guff from these fucking swine.

I just got through saying that.

Do you realize who the
fuck you're talking to?

Right.
Do you?

Be over in 30 minutes.

DUKE: We're gonna
need a sound store.

GONZO: We won't make the nut
unless we have unlimited credit.

DUKE: Jesus Christ.
We will, man.

You Samoans are all the same.

You have no faith in the essential
decency of the white man's culture.

DUKE NARRATING:
The store was closed.

But the salesman said
he could wait if we hurry.

(SIRENS WAILING)

But we were delayed en route

when a Stingray in front of us
killed a pedestrian.

We had trouble again
with the car rental agency.

Hey, Mr. Duke,
we're all settled.

If I could just get your John
Hancock, you're on your way.

Yeah.

Listen, you're gonna be real
careful with this car, right?

Oh, yeah, man. Of course.

Good. Jeez...

No, no, no!

(PANTING)

Holy smokes!

You just backed over
a two-foot concrete abutment,

you didn't even slow down.

What were you going about, I don't
know, 45 miles an hour backwards?

Hey.
There's no harm done.

Oh? I always test the
transmission that way,

the rear end
for stress factors.

Boy, this is really
a nice pen, man.

Hey, listen, you...

You fellows haven't
been drinking, have you?

No. Not me.
Oh.

We're responsible people.

Hey, hey, hey!

Goddamn it, you've got my pen!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Goddamn hippies!

DUKE NARRATING: We spent
the rest of that night

rounding up materials
and packing the car.

Then we ate some mescaline
and went swimming.

Our trip was different.

Lt was to be
a classic affirmation

of everything right and true
in the national character.

A gross physical salute to the fantastic
possibilities of life in this country.

But only for those
with true grit.

And we are chock
full of that, man.

Damn right!

My attorney understands this concept,
despite his racial handicap.

But do you?

(GIGGLING)

He said he understood, but l could
see in his eyes that he didn't.

He was lying to me.

(GONZO SCREAMING)

Medicine!

What?
Medicine!

Medicine?
Oh, yeah, medicine. Right.

Right here.

(SHRIEKING) Don't worry.
This man has a bad heart.

Angina pectoris.

But we have a cure for it.
Here you go.

All right.

Big whiff. Big whiff.
Big whiff, sonny boy.

There you go. Much better.

Now for the doctor.

(GROANING)

(SQUEALING)

What the...

What the fuck are we doing out
here in the middle of the desert?

Somebody call the police.
We need help.

We need help.

We need help. We need help.

(HORN HONKS)

(LAUGHING)

The truth.

Truth?

Now, we're going to Vegas...

Vegas.

To croak a scag baron
named Savage Henry.

It's true.

Why? Because I've known him for
years but he ripped us off.

DUKE: And you know
what that means.

And you know what that means.
Right?

No.

Savage Henry
has cashed his check.

Cashed his check.

And we're gonna
rip his lungs out.

That bastard won't
get away with this.

I mean, what is going on in this
country when a scum sucker like that

can get away with sandbagging
a Doctor of Journalism?

Can you tell me that?

Hey! Thanks for the ride!
I like you guys!

Really, don't worry about me!
Wait a minute!

Come back and have a beer!

Shit. Fuck.

I'm gonna miss him.

Move over.
Did you see his eyes?

We have to get out of California
before that kid finds a cop.

(CACKLING) Come on. Scoot
over, you fat bastard.

We had a real freak
on our hands!

Oh, shit.

DUKE NARRATING: It was absolutely
imperative that we get to the Mint Hotel

before the deadline
for press registration.

Otherwise we might
have to pay for our suite.

(SCREECHING)

Jesus!

Did you see what God
just did to us, man?

God didn't do that.
You did it.

You're a fucking narcotics agent.
I knew it.

That was our cocaine, you pig!

You fucking pig, swine, whore!

You better be careful.

Plenty of vultures out here that'll
pick your bones clean before morning.

You fucking whore.

(FEIGNING LAUGHTER)

Here's your half
of the sunshine acid. Eat it.

Yeah.

Great.

How long do I have?

As your attorney, I advise
you to drive at top speed

or it'll be a goddamn
miracle if we can get there

before you turn
into a wild animal.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUTTERING)

(SINGING) Yeah, yeah

Are you ready for that?

Checking into a Vegas hotel
under a phony name

with intent to commit capital
fraud and a head full of acid?

I sure hope so.

DUKE NARRATING: 30 minutes.

Lt was going to be very close.

(SINGING) Well,
she's all you'd ever want

She's the kind
l'd like to flaunt

And take to dinner

MAN ON P.A.: Welcome
to the Mint Hotel!

(SINGING) Well,
she always knows her place

She's got style She's got grace

She's a winner

(HORN HONKING)

She's a lady

Whoa, whoa, whoa

She's a lady

Hmm? Mmm.

(SINGING) Talking about
my little lady

MAN: Come on, take the ticket.
We're busy here.

(SINGING) And the lady is mine

Come on, take the ticket.
Take it.

Take the ticket.

I need this, right?

I'll remember your face.

DUKE NARRATING: There is no way
of explaining the terror l felt.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Attention,
all Mint Hotel guests.

Will the owner of a green Pinto

Minnesota license plate
TG0432...

DUKE NARRATING:
l was pouring sweat.

My blood is too thick
for Nevada.

L've never been able to properly
explain myself in this climate.

(MAN CHATTERING)

Okay. Be quiet, be calm.

Name, rank
and press affiliation.

Nothing else.

Hamburger stand. She was a
waitress about 1 6 years old.

They chopped her goddamn head off
right there in the parking lot.

Then they cut all kinds of holes
in her and sucked out the blood.

They were after
the pineal gland, I think.

Yeah.

No. How's your mama?

Lgnore this terrible drug.

Yeah.

Pretend it's not happening.

(GRUNTS)

Hi there!

My name?

Raoul Duke!
On the list. Freelance.

On the list, then?

Total coverage.

I have my attorney...

With me.

And I realize that his name
is not on that list.

But we must have that suite!

Yes, we must have that suite.

What's the score here?

What's next?

Your suite isn't ready yet.

But someone
was looking for you.

No! We haven't done
anything yet! Move!

I can handle this.

This man suffers
from a bad heart.

But I have plenty of medicine.
My name is Dr. Gonzo.

Prepare our suite at once.
We'll be in the bar.

(GRUNTS)

I don't know about you, but I'm
starting to feel that drink.

(CHUCKLING)

(GROWLS)

Hey, beat it.
Beat it. Go on.

Well, I like the way
you did that.

(EXCLAIMS)

Come on. Come on. Come on.

What's that? Come on, come on.
Let's get some peanuts.

DUKE: Peanuts? That's one thing
that's good for you, man.

Peanuts, man.
Jesus!

2 Cuba Libres, beer
and mescal on the side.

BARTENDER: You got it.

I'll bet you're a Libra.
Mmm.

(LAUGHING)

(WOMAN MOANING)

Who's Lacerda?
Lacerda?

Yeah, he's waiting for us
on the 1 2th floor.

Room 1 250. Lacerda.

DUKE NARRATING:
l couldn't remember.

The name rang a bell,
but l couldn't concentrate.

Terrible things were happening
all around us.

(GURGLING)

Buy us some golf shoes,

otherwise we'll never
get out of this place alive.

Impossible to walk
in this muck.

No footing at all.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Mr. Roger Pratt,
please call the hotel operator.

(SINGING) How can I bear
to see your heart break?

To see your heart break

Over me

(GROWLING)

l was right in the middle
of a fucking reptile zoo

and somebody was giving booze
to these goddamn things.

Lt won't be long now
before they tear us to shreds.

(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)

Please!

Tell them to get out
their fucking golf shoes!

(ALL GASPING)

Jesus God Almighty, look at
that bunch over there, man.

They've spotted us.

GONZO: That's the press table,
man.

We're gonna have to sign in
for our credentials.

Okay?

Are you ready?
Hmm?

Are you ready?

Come on, hurry up. Wait! Wait, wait!
Fucking don't leave me here!

BOY: Two club sandwiches,

and 2 more club sandwiches.

One, two, three, four
shrimp cocktails.

Hmm?
And nine fresh grapefruit.

GONZO: Vitamin C.
Need all we can get.

BOY: Four chicken... DUKE: There's
a big machine in the sky.

Some kind of...
Quart of rum.

Well, electric snake
coming straight at us.

GONZO: Shoot it.

Not yet.
I want to study its habits.

BOY: You motorcycle people
sure are hearty eaters.

I need the cart. I need
to return with the cart.

Thank you, but the cart needs to
go back with... I'll be back!

GONZO: You bastard.
I've been hit, man!

I leave you alone
for three minutes

and you start
waving that goddamn

marlin spike around
yelling about reptiles.

What're you talking about, man?

You scared the shit
out of those people.

They were ready
to call the cops.

Yes, sir, you were lucky
I came back in time.

Don't come near me.

Don't come fucking near me!

Leave me alone.

Hell, the only reason
they gave us press passes

was to get you
out of there, man.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Oh, God! What's that?

That scene straightened me
right out, man.

Who's at the door?

MAN ON T.V.: As the bombing
continues in Laos...

Just a minute.

Holy shit. Oh, my God.

(MAN CONTINUES
CHATTERING ON T.V.)

Hi. I'm Lacerda,
your photographer.

Duke?
DUKE: Mmm-hmm.

Back there.

Duke?

Duke? Hi!

(LAUGHS)

Lacerda. Your photographer.

You're not Portuguese, man!

Hey, too bad you guys
missed the bikes checking in.

Oh, man, what a sight!

Husquavarnas, Yamahas, DMZs.

Kawasakis!

Maicos. Pursang!

Swedish Fireballs.

Couple of Triumphs.
Here and there a CZ.

All very, very fast.

Very.

What a race it's gonna be.

Yeah.

I'm gonna let myself out.

We know what you're up to, man.
Hmm?

I'm gonna tell you...

He's lying to us.
I could see it in his eyes.

Eyes?

MAN ON T.V.: Late
battle reports indicate...

Panic now, Charlie.

Turn this shit off.

DUKE NARRATING: The racers
were ready at dawn.

Very tense.

Ln some circles, the Mint 400 is a far,
far better thing than the Super Bowl,

the Kentucky Derby

and the Lower Oakland Roller Derby
Finals all rolled into one.

Hey! Slow down!
This is a restricted area!

This race attracts
a very special breed.

Fuck off.
All right.

Lt was time to get grounded,

to ponder this
rotten assignment

and figure out
how to cope with it.

Lt was time to do the job.

Those of us
who had been up all night

were in no mood
for coffee and donuts.

We wanted strong drink.

We were, after all

the absolute cream of the
national sporting press.

MAN: Pull!

We were gathered here
in Las Vegas

for this very
special moment in sport.

When it comes to a thing like
this, they don't fool around.

(SNORING)

It's just beautiful.

Money plays. Money plays.

Kill the body,
the head will die.

Ali-Frazier fight.

Crazy shit, man.

A proper end to the '60s.

Ali beaten by
a human hamburger.

Both Kennedys
murdered by mutants.

MAN: Hey, they're starting!

Oh, shit, they're starting.
Let's go!

MAN ON P.A.:
Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the start of the
$50,000 Mint 400 Desert Race.

With a purse of $50,000
going to the winner

of this grueling,
gut-wrenching, dust-eating,

in-your-face
motocross extravaganza!

And away we go!

We've got rooster tails going!

We're here to spit
in your enemy's eye!

There they go.

All right, our second group
of 1 0 is getting in place.

Kawasakis, Triumphs, Maicos.

Here we are.
We're ready to go.

Lt's the green flag,
and they're off!

Another great start with a lot
of dirt happening on this hill!

All right, here we go
with the third group.

And they're off!

Here we go. Number 45 riding
in the number 4 position

is choking as the dust flies!

You'd better wet those bandannas
you got stretched over your face!

DUKE NARRATING: There was something
like 1 90 more bikes waiting to start.

Give me a beer, man.

They were due to go off,
1 0 at a time

every two minutes.

BARTENDER: There you go,
buddy.

(BLOWING NOSE)

Goddamn it. What day is it?
Saturday? Shit.

More like Sunday.

Hello! Anyone?

Have you seen the race?

DUKE NARRATING: By 10:00, they were
spread out all over the course.

Lt was no longer a race.

Now it was
an endurance contest.

The idea of trying
to cover this race

in any conventional
press sense was absurd.

Hey! It's pretty great, huh?
What?

Come on in!

(SHUTTER CLICKING)

I'm just gonna try different
combinations of lenses and film

until I find something
that works in this dust!

(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

What the hell?

(GUNS FIRING)

That's fucking machine guns, man.
They're firing at us.

Machine guns.
It's a goddamn war zone!

Get us out of here quick!

(LACERDA WHOOPING) Quick, man!

We're gonna be killed,
for fuck's sake!

What the...
Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Where's the damn race?

Beats me, man.

We're just good, patriotic
Americans like yourself.

What outfit you fellows with?

Oh. The sporting press.
We're friendlies.

Hired geeks.

Yeah.

Let's go.

(LACERDA WHOOPING)

Good luck, gentlemen.

Get him!

Freaks.
Take me back to the pits.

No! No, no, no.
We have to go on.

We need total coverage!

DUKE NARRATING:
lt was time, l felt,

for an agonizing reappraisal
of the whole scene.

You're fired.

Awful jackass.

All right.

Just drive into the dust!

I never wanna see you again.

Just drive into the dust!

Huh?

Oh!

The race was
definitely underway.

L had witnessed the start.

L was sure of that much.

But what now?

What comes next?

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Put on the radio.

Turn on the tape machine.

Roll every goddamn window down.

Let us taste this
cool desert wind.

Ah, yes.
This is what it's all about.

DUKE NARRATING:
Total control now.

Tooling along the main drag
on a Saturday night in Vegas.

Two good old boys in a
fire-apple red convertible.

Stoned, ripped...

Twisted, good people.

Hot fuck.
That sounds heavy.

29 cent hot dogs.

What are we doing here?

Are we here to entertain
ourselves or do the job?

Do the job, of course.

Here we go.

Crab Louie and
a quart of muscatel for $20.

As your attorney, I advise you
to drive over to the Tropicana.

Guy Lombardo. He's in the Blue
Room with his Royal Canadians.

Why?

Why? Why what?

Why should I pay my hard-earned
dollars to watch a fucking corpse?

I don't know about you,

but in my line of business
it's important to be hep.

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

This is not a parking area!
You've got to move your car!

You can't park your car here.
Excuse me. Sir!

What?

You can't park... Hey!

You can't park your car here!

Why not?

Is this not
a reasonable place to park?

Reasonable?
You're on a sidewalk!

It's a sidewalk!

This is not a parking area!
Debbie Reynolds?

You can't park on the sidewalk!

Seems like a hot ticket.

Excuse me, sir?

Drove all the way from L.A.
for this show.

We're friends of Debbie's.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)

Okay, bye.
We'll see you later.

DUKE NARRATING: This was
Bob Hope's turf,

(SINGING)
Strangers in the night

Frank Sinatra's, Spiro Agnew's.

(SINGING) Exchanging glances

The place fairly reeked of high-grade
Formica and plastic palm trees.

Clearly a high-class
refuge for big spenders.

It's started.
Is she on stage?

MAN: She is. Sold out.

Sorry, sir.
Full house. I'm sorry, sir.

We drove all the way
from L.A. for this show.

I said there are no seats
left, sir, at any price.

Fuck seats!

We're friends with Debbie.

I used to romp with her.

Are you prepared
to go to court?

Well, that depends.

I wanna talk to you
for a second.

Your attitude constitutes
a breach of faith.

In Nevada, that's illegal.

What's your name?

My name? Tony Pizzacata.

GONZO: Tony Pizzacata.

TONY: What, may I ask,
is your name, sir?

GONZO: It's on my
driver's license.

I think we might be able
to squeeze you in, sir.

Thank you kindly.

You'll have to
stand in the back.

After a lot of bad noise
he let us in for nothing

provided we would stand quietly
in the back and not smoke.

Excellent.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the Desert lnn is proud to
present the one, the only,

the incomparable
Miss Debbie Reynolds!

(CHORUS SINGING) Ooh, ooh

DEBBIE: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen!

Lt's wonderful to be here
with all you fabulous people!

Let's rock and roll!

(CHORUS SINGING) Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club Band

Hey!
What the hell's going on?

Get them out!

Come on, get out of here!

Get them out.

Out!

(DUKE GIGGLING HYSTERICALLY)

Shit! We wandered into
a fucking time capsule there.

Scumbag!

I'll find where you live and burn
your house down, you piece of shit!

What happened?
Oh.

One of these days I'll toss
a fucking bomb in that place.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, wait. You see that?

This is the place, man.

They'll never
fuck with us here.

Where's the ether?
Mescaline's not working.

Oh.

There we go. Right.

Yeah. Why not?

Yeah.

(SNIFFING)

(GROANS)

DUKE NARRATING: Devil ether.

Lt makes you behave like the village
drunkard in some early lrish novel.

Total loss of all
basic motor skills.

Blurred vision,
no balance, numb tongue.

The mind recoils in horror,

unable to communicate
with the spinal column,

which is interesting because you
can actually watch yourself

behaving in this terrible way
but you can't control it.

You approach the turnstiles and
know that when you get there

you have to give the man $2
or he won't let you inside.

But when you get there
everything goes wrong.

Some angry Rotarian shoves you

and you think,
"What's happening here?

"What's going on?"

And you hear yourself mumbling.

Dogs fucked the Pope.
No fault of mine.

(MUMBLING)

Ether is the perfect drug
for Las Vegas.

Ln this town they love a drunk.
Fresh meat.

Come on, buddy. Come on.
Holy...

So they put us through the turnstiles
and turned us loose inside.

(DRUM ROLL) ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

visitors of all ages,

the Bazooko Casino Circus
proudly presents,

the Flying Fellinis!

(WHOOPING)

Oh, my God!

(SNIFFS DEEPLY)

(SNARLING)

Fuck!

Excuse me.

Get out of my way, you...

(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)

DUKE NARRATING: A drug person can
learn to cope with things like

seeing their dead grandmother crawling
up their leg with a knife in her teeth,

but nobody should be asked
to handle this trip.

Bazooko Circus is what the whole hep
world would be doing Saturday night

if the Nazis had won the War.

This was the Sixth Reich.

Place your bets! Where everyone's
a winner and nobody's a loser!

Step right up and shoot the pasties off
the nipples of a 1 0-foot bull dyke

and win a cotton candy goat!

(JABBERING)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Step up to this
fantastic machine!

For just 99 cents, your likeness
will appear 200 feet tall

on a screen over
downtown Las Vegas.

For just 99 cents more
you can have a voice message!

Say whatever you want, fellow!

Oh, they'll hear you,
all right!

You'll be 200 feet tall!

DUKE NARRATING: The ether
was wearing off.

The acid was long gone.

But the mescaline
was running strong.

(MAN CHATTERING)

Good mescaline comes on slow.

The first hour's all waiting.

And then about halfway
through its second hour,

you start cursing the creep who burned
you because nothing's happening.

And then, zang!

I hate to say this but this
place is getting to me.

(HICCUPPING)
I think I'm getting the fear.

Nonsense.

We came here to find
the American Dream.

Now that we're right in the
vortex, you wanna quit?

You must realize, man,
we've found the main nerve.

That's what gives me the fear.

Oh, look!
What?

There's two women
fucking a polar bear.

Don't tell me those things.

Not now, man.

This is my last drink.

How much money can you lend me?

Not much. Why?

I have to go.
Go?

Yeah. Leave the country.

Oh, no. Calm down.

You'll be straight
in a few hours.

Just sit down.
Sit the fuck down.

Don't fuck around, man.
This is serious.

One more hour in this town,
I'll kill somebody.

Okay, I'll lend you some money.

Come with me.

I wanna leave fast.
Okay.

Let's pay this bill,
get up very slowly.

I think it's gonna
be a long walk.

WOMAN: Light, sir?

Do they pay you
to screw that bear?

What?

What the fuck did he say to me?
He's drunk.

You'd better take care
of your friend.

Madam, sir, baby, child,
whatever, can I pay?

Here, take this.
That should be enough.

All right, come on. Let's
go downstairs and gamble.

You guys don't fucking give up.

Where'd he go?

Where did he go?

When is this thing gonna stop?
Stop?

Stop it! It won't stop.
It's never gonna stop, man.

Don't move. You'll fall down.

Fuck, he's...

Where did he go? Oh.

Come on. Let go.

Quick, like a bunny.
Hop! Hop!

Come on. Hop!
I can't!

Oh, you sniveling, chicken
shit bastard! Stop it!

All right.

Fuck!

Come on.
You fell, you fell. Let's go.

Son of a bitch.
You pushed me.

Go away!
Come on.

All right. You stay here
and go to jail. I'm leaving.

Come on, you fiend!

Step right over...
Nothing. I want nothing.

Did you see that?

Come on.

Some son of a bitch
just kicked me in the back.

Probably the bartender.

Wanted to stomp you for what
you said to the waitress.

Holy moley! Holy moley!
Cows are gonna kill me!

Bisexuals are gonna kill me.

Let's get out of here.
Where's the elevator?

No, fuck! Don't go
near the elevator, man!

That's just what
they want us to do.

Trap us in a steel box, take us
down to the basement. Come here.

(GUN FIRING)

Don't run, man.

They'd like any excuse
to shoot us.

You drive. You drive.

I think there's
something wrong with me.

Wrong door. Wrong door.

DUKE NARRATING: This is not a
good town for psychedelic drugs.

Extremely menacing vibrations
were all around us.

We finally made it to the room,

but the key
wouldn't open the door.

Those bastards have changed
the lock on us, man.

Already?

They probably
searched the room, man.

Jesus Christ, we're finished.

Move out of the way.
Look out! Look out!

(GRUNTS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Bolt everything!
Use all the chains!

(MUMBLING)

That's better. That's better.

Where did this one come from?

That's Lacerda's.

Yeah. Yeah.
I thought we might need it.

What for?

So we can go up there
and blast him out of bed

with a fire hose, man.

I think we should leave
that poor bastard alone.

He told me he was
gonna turn in early, so...

I knew it.

He got a hold of my woman, man!

You mean that blonde groupie
with the film crew?

Shit.
Think he sodomized her?

That's right.
Laugh about it.

He's gluing her eyes
shut right now, man.

You goddamn honkies
are all the same.

Jesus God Almighty, man, where'd
you get that big fucker?

Room service sent it up.

I needed something
to cut the limes, man.

Limes? What limes?

They didn't have any.

They don't grow in the desert.

That dirty toad bastard.

Should've taken him out
when I had a chance.

(ROARS)

Now he has her, man!

He got a hold of my baby, yeah.

DUKE NARRATING:
l remembered the girl.

We'd had a problem with her in the
elevator a few hours earlier.

My attorney had
made a fool of himself.

I think you look just like him.

You think so?

You must be a rider.
Hmm?

She's speaking to you.

What class are you in?

Class?

What the fuck do you mean?

What do you ride?

See, we're here getting a
little footage on the race for

a television series.

I thought maybe
we could use you.

Oh, use me? I ride a...

"Mother of God," l thought.
Here it comes.

I ride the big fuckers.
You know? Big ones.

The really big fuckers. Yeah.

Vincent Black Shadow.

We're with the factory team.

Right.
Bullshit.

What?

Bullshit.

Hmm?

I think there's
some kind of ignorant,

chicken shit...
Move over, man.

An ignorant chicken
fucker in this town.

You pink motherfucker.

I can show you better than
I can tell you, ma'am.

Got a light?

No.

You don't trust me, do you?
Huh?

Put the smile away. It's okay.
I know these guys.

Keep trying me, jerk-off.
Keep trying me.

You wanna impress her?

Well, impress her with me.

Oh, fuck.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(GONZO WHOOPS)

No, you goddamn freak! Freak!

The police will be
coming after you.

(SINGING) For your love

Give me the key.
Give me the goddamn key!

(SINGING) For your love

(WHOOPS)

(SINGING) For your love

l give you everything and more

Put the knife away.

I been walking all day.
Come on.

It's in my pocket. Come on.

(SINGING) For your love

l give you everything
l give you diamonds

l know the place
that will excite

Goddamn it.

It's serious now, man.

That girl understood, man.

Whew.

She fell in love with me, man.

Eye contact, man.

Wait.

(GROANS)

I should go up there
and castrate that fucker.

I'll take the blame, man.

Let's just leave that weird
fucker alone, man. Come on.

Have you made a deal with him?

Did you put him on to her?
Huh? Huh?

Huh?

All right, look...

You better put
that goddamn blade away, man.

Get your fucking head straight.

I'm gonna go get
the car washed.

DUKE NARRATING:
One of the things you learn

after years of dealing
with drug people,

is that you can turn
your back on a person,

but never turn
your back on a drug.

Especially when it's waving a
razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.

(BELL DINGS)

(WOMAN SOBBING)

(SLOT MACHINE CLICKING)

What was l doing out here?

What was the meaning
of this trip?

Was l just roaming around
in a drug frenzy of some kind?

Or had l really come out here to
Las Vegas to work on a story?

Who are these people,
these faces?

Where do they come from?

They look like caricatures of
used car dealers from Dallas.

And, sweet Jesus,

there are a hell of a lot of them
at 4:30 on a Sunday morning,

still humping
the American Dream,

that vision of the big winner
somehow emerging

from the last-minute, pre-dawn
chaos of a stale Vegas casino.

Twenty.
We change a 20.

Thank you.

Here we go.
Okay.

(SINGING) Spinning the wheel, spinning
the wheel, spinning the wheel

Make me rich Make me very rich

(EXCLAIMING)

That's 1 0.

Oh, you bastard!

Shit.
Sorry.

DUKE NARRATING: No, no.
Calm down.

Learn to enjoy losing.

(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Fuck, man, it's the fucking
Great Deluge in here.

Don't touch that.
Leave it alone.

Don't fuck with it, man!

Jesus Christ.

Oh, God.

Did you eat all this acid?

That's right. Music!

You better pray to God there's
some Thorazine in that bag.

Otherwise, you're in
bad fucking trouble.

Music, man, put that tape on!

What tape? Jefferson Airplane.
White Rabbit.

I need a rising sound.

You're doomed.

I'm leaving here in two hours.

Then they're gonna come up here and
beat the mortal shit out of you

right there
in that fucking tub.

(GRUNTING)

All right, I'll do it!
I'll do it.

I'll do it. Fuck, man.

Just do me one last favor,
will you?

Give me two hours.
That's all I ask, man.

Two hours to sleep
before tomorrow.

This is fixed.

It's gonna be
a very difficult day.

I'll give you all
the time you need.

Electrocution.
We don't want that.

Fuck off.

(FARTS)

(SINGING) When logic
and proportion have fallen

Goddamn it!

(SINGING) Sloppy dead

And the White Knight
is talking backwards

Let's see.

(SINGING) And the Red Queen's
off with her head

Remember

Oh, God Almighty. GONZO: Help!
Help! Help me! Help!

Shit! He's killing himself!

(SINGING)
What the dormouse said

Don't touch it, man.
Don't touch it!

(GROANING)

For fuck's sake, man!

(SINGING) Feed your head

(MUTTERING)

Back, God...
Back, motherfucker!

(GASPING)

On a roll, man!
I need it again!

What?

When it comes to
that fantastic note,

(PANTING)

when the rabbit
bites its own head off.

I want you to throw
that fucking radio

into the tub with me.

Fuck, you've gone
completely sideways, man.

That'll blast you
right through the wall.

You'll be stone dead
in 1 0 seconds.

Fuck, they'll make me
explain things. Shit.

Bullshit.

Don't fuck with me now, man.
I am Ahab.

Jesus Christ.

All right, you weird fucker!
Sit down! Back in the tub!

I'll plunge this into
your fucking throat.

Don't make me use this, man.

All right, man.

Probably the only solution.

Let me make sure
I've got this all lined up.

You want me to

throw this thing into the tub when
White Rabbit peaks, is that it?

Oh, fuck.

I was beginning to think
I was gonna have to go outside

and get one of the
goddamn maids to do it.

Oh, no. I'll do it.

Shit. What are friends for?

(GROANING)

(SINGING) I think she'II know

You ready?

(SINGING) Where logic

Close your eyes.

(SINGING) And proportion

Yeah, good boy.

(SINGING)
Have fallen sloppy dead

Rabbit! White Rabbit!

Quiet, goddamn it!
You're wasting my time!

Higher, man. Higher.

(VOLUME INCREASES)

(SINGING) Remember

Okay, close those peepers.
Ten.

(GROANING)
What the dormouse said

Nine. 1 1 1!

(SINGING) Feed your head

52!

Feed your head

Hey! Hey! Hey!

(GONZO SHRIEKING)

You bastard!

Mace! Mace, man.
You want this?

You'd do that, wouldn't you?

Well, why not?

You fucking bastard!

Hell, just a minute ago you
were asking me to kill you.

Now you wanna kill me.

What l should do, goddamn it,
is call the fucking police!

Boy, are you upset.

There'd be no point, man,
calling the cops.

There's no choice.

L wouldn't dare go to sleep with you
wandering around with a head full of acid

wanting to slice me up
with that goddamn knife.

Who said anything
about slicing you up, man?

I just wanted to cut
a little "Z" in your forehead.

(WHEEZING LAUGHTER)

Get back in the tub.

Eat some reds
and try to calm down.

Smoke some grass.
Shoot some fucking smack.

Shit, man, do whatever
you gotta do, but please,

l need some fucking rest, man.
Please. Please.

Get up, you pig fucker!

Up! Up!

Well, I, uh...

Yeah.

You need to get to work.

Goddamn, what a bummer.

You scurvy shyster bastard.

L'm a Doctor of Journalism,
man.

Go on.

Don't let me keep you up.

Now...
Don't let me keep you up.

Get in there
and clean your shorts!

Clean your shorts, goddamn it,
like a big boy. Go on!

Pig!

DUKE NARRATING: The acid
had shifted gears on him.

The next phase
would probably be

one of those hellishly intense
introspective nightmares.

Must get some peace.

DUKE NARRATING: Four hours
or so of catatonic despair.

Damn drugs.

Mmm?

Lgnore the nightmare
in the bathroom.

Just another ugly refugee
from the love generation.

My attorney had never been
able to accept the notion

often espoused by
former drug abusers

that you can get a lot higher
without drugs than with them.

And neither have l,
for that matter.

(SINGING)
When the truth is found

To be lies

And all the joy

Within you dies

Don't you want somebody to love

Don't you need somebody to love

Wouldn't you love
somebody to love

You better find
somebody to love

Love

DUKE NARRATING: 1965. The great
San Francisco acid wave.

(SINGING)
When the garden flowers

l recall one night
in a place called the Matrix.

There l was.

Mother of God. There l am.

Holy fuck.

Clearly l was a victim
of the drug explosion,

a natural street freak just
eating whatever came by.

Does anybody want some LSD?

I got all the makings
right here!

(ECHOING) All I need
is a place to cook.

L decided to eat only
half of the acid at first.

But l spilled the rest on the
sleeve of my red woolen shirt.

(ECHOING) What's the trouble?

(ECHOING) Well, all this
white stuff on my sleeve

is LSD.

DUKE: With a bit of luck,
his life was ruined forever.

Always thinking that just behind some
narrow door in all his favorite bars,

men in red woolen shirts are getting
incredible kicks from things he'll never know.

Strange memories on this
nervous night in Las Vegas.

Has it been five years? Six?

Lt seems like a lifetime, the kind
of peak that never comes again.

(SINGING) Love is but a song
we're singing

San Francisco
in the middle '60s

was a very special time
and place to be a part of,

but no explanation.

(SINGING) We can make
the mountains ring

No mix of words
or music or memories

can touch that sense of knowing
that you were there and alive

in that corner of time in the
world, whatever it meant.

(SINGING)
Though the bird is on the wing

(SINGING)
And you may not know why

There was madness in any
direction, at any hour.

(SINGING) Come on people, now

You could strike sparks
anywhere.

(SINGING)
Try to love one another

There was a fantastic
universal sense

that whatever we were doing
was right,

that we were winning.

And that, l think,
was the handle.

(SINGING) Some may come
and some may go

That sense of inevitable victory
over the forces of old and evil.

Not in any mean or military
sense, we didn't need that.

Our energy would
simply prevail.

We had all the momentum.

We were riding the crest
of a high and beautiful wave.

So now,
less than 5 years later,

you can go up a steep hill
in Las Vegas and look west

and with the right kind
of eyes,

you can almost see
the high-water mark,

that place where the wave
finally broke and rolled back.

(SINGING) Try to love
one another right now

(ELECTRIC PIANO PLAYING)

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

(SINGING) Want some whiskey in your water?
Room service!

Some sugar in your tea?

What's all these crazy
questions they're asking me?

Good morning, sir.

This is the craziest party
there could ever be

What do you want, man?
What do you want?

Room service.
Get out.

Mama told me not to come

You're not mine. You're in the wrong room.
Get out! Get the fuck out!

I've got a gun. It's not mine, really.
Get out.

The... The... The...
What?

The bill.
All right.

Will you sign for it?
Yeah, I'll get it. Hurry up.

Don't move, man.
Be very still. There we go.

Say nothing to no one, man.

Open up the window
Let some air into this room

DUKE NARRATING: The decision
to flee came suddenly.

Or maybe not.

That cigarette you're smoking
about scared me half to death

Maybe l'd planned it all along,
subconsciously waiting for the right moment.

Mama told me not to come

The bill was a factor, l think,

because l had no money
to pay for it.

Mama told me not to come

Our room service tabs
had been running

somewhere between
29 and 36 dollars per hour

for 48 consecutive hours.
Lncredible.

That ain't the way
to have fun, son

How could it happen?

But by the time
l asked this question,

there was no one around
to answer it.

That rotten attorney of mine,
Dr. Gonzo, was gone.

He must have sensed trouble.

Hmm? Oh. A "Z"?

Panic.

Lt crept up my spine like
first-rising vibes of an acid frenzy.

All these horrible realities
began to dawn on me.

DUKE: Oh, fuck.

DUKE NARRATING: Here I was,
alone in Las Vegas,

completely twisted on drugs.

No cash,
no story for the magazine,

and on top of everything else l had a
gigantic goddamn hotel bill to deal with.

L didn't even know who'd won the race.
Maybe nobody.

How would Horatio Alger
have handled this situation?

Stay calm. Stay calm.

L'm a relatively
respectable citizen.

Multiple felon, perhaps,
but certainly not dangerous.

Taxi!

Luckily, l had taken
the soap and grapefruit

and other luggage out to the
car a few hours earlier.

Now, it was only a matter
of slipping the noose.

Hey! Here, take this.
All right.

Mr. Duke! Mr. Duke!

Oh, shit.

We've been looking for you.

The game was up.
They had me.

Many fine books have been
written in prison, huh?

Sir?
What?

This telegram came for you.

Actually, it's not for you. It's
for somebody named Thompson.

But it says,
"Care of Raoul Duke."

Do you... Do you...
Does that mean anything?

Yes, yes, it means a lot.
Thanks.

Yeah, I checked the register
for this man Thompson.

We don't show him, but I figured
he might be part of your team.

He is. Don't worry.
I'll get it to him.

Yeah. What confused us was

Dr. Gonzo's signature on the
telegram from Los Angeles

when we knew he was
right here in the hotel.

Right.
You did the right thing.

Never try to understand
a press message.

About half the time, we use codes.
Especially with Dr. Gonzo.

See you.
Tell me...

(TIRES SCREECHING)

When will the doctor be awake?

Awake? What do you mean?

Well, my manager, Mr. Heem,
would like to meet him.

It's nothing unusual, Mr. Heem likes
to meet all of our large accounts,

put them on a personal basis,
you know?

Just a chat and a handshake.

You understand.

Of course, but if I were you,

I would leave the doctor alone until
after he's eaten his breakfast

because he's a very crude man.

Jesus God!

No!

But he will be available
maybe later this morning?

Look, the telegram is
actually all scrambled.

It's actually from Thompson,
not to him.

All right? Now, I've got to go.
I've gotta get to the race.

But there's no hurry.
The race is over.

Not for me.

Well, let's have lunch!

Righty-o, man. Righty-o.

(SINGING) Now, the bricks
lay on Grand Street

DUKE NARRATING: Jesus. Bad waves of paranoia.
Madness. Fear and loathing.

Lntolerable vibrations
in this place.

Get out. The weasels were closing in.
L could smell the ugly brutes.

Do me one last favor, Lord.

Just give me five more
high-speed hours

before You bring
the hammer down.

Just let me get rid of this goddamn
car and off this horrible desert.

(SINGING) Oh, Mama

ls this really the end?

To be stuck inside of Mobile

Oh, you evil bastard.

With the Memphis blues again

This is Your work. You better
take care of me, Lord.

(POLICE SIREN WAILING) If You don't,
You're gonna have me on Your hands.

Pull over!

Hey!
Pull over!

Good morning. How are you?

All right, man.
Doing very well.

Few people understand the psychology
of dealing with a highway traffic cop.

Your normal speeder will panic and
immediately pull over to the side.

This is wrong. lt arouses
contempt in the cop heart.

Make the bastard chase you.
He will follow.

But he won't know what to
make of your blinker signal

that says you're
about to turn right.

This is to let him know you're pulling
off for a proper place to talk.

Lt'll take him
a moment to realize

that he's about to make
a 1 80-degree turn, at speed.

But you will be ready for him. Brace
for the "G" s. Fast heel-toe work.

COP: Shit! Shit!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIREN WAILING)

Hi. How are you?

Just what in the hell did
you think you were doing?

I wanna know.
Let me see your license.

Oh, yeah, of course.
There you are.

Oh, my gosh.

It's me.

May I please have that?

DUKE NARRATING:
l knew l was fucked.

See you have two cases of
beer, a basket of grapefruit,

stack of T-shirts and towels,
light bulbs.

You realize what you did
when you drive like that?

Yeah, I know. I'm guilty.
I understand that.

I knew it was a crime.
I did it anyway.

Shit, why argue?
I'm a fucking criminal.

Look at me.

You have a strange attitude.

Maybe.

You know, I have a feeling
you need to take a nap.

There's a rest area
just up ahead.

I'd like you to go up there, pull
over and get a few hours' sleep.

That's not gonna help me.

I've been awake for too long, three or
four nights, maybe. Can't even remember.

I go to sleep now,
I'm dead for 20 hours.

What are you carrying
two cases of soap for, son?

I wanna stay clean.

No.

Here's how it is.

What I put in my book,
as of noon,

is that I apprehended you
for driving too fast.

(HUMMING) I advised you to proceed
to the next rest area... Stop!

I advised you to proceed to the next rest
area, your stated destination, right?

And take a long nap.

Do I make myself clear?

Well, how far is Baker?

I was sort of hoping to, I don't
know, stop there for lunch.

It's not my jurisdiction.

City limits end 2.2 miles
beyond the rest area.

Can you make it that far?

I'll try.

I've been wanting to go to Baker for a long time.
Yeah. Heard a lot about it.

Excellent seafood.

You know, I'm thinking, a guy with your
kind of mind ought to try the land-crab.

Excellent seafood.

Land-crab.

All right. Why not?

Thanks for the tip.

Look at me in the eyes.

Everything all right?

May I have a little kiss
before you go?

I'm very lonely here.

(SINGING) Oh, Mama

Can this really be the end?

DUKE NARRATING: I felt raped. The
pig had done me on all fronts.

And now he was going off to chuckle
about it on the west side of town,

waiting for me
to make a run for L.A.

Why, yes, Officer.

Of course l'll take advantage
of that rest area.

And l can't tell you how grateful l
am for this break you wanna give me.

Get a grip, man.

Lf l boom straight for L.A.
he'll bust me for sure.

No.

This was not the time
for a showdown.

This was Death Valley.

(GASPING)

DUKE: Oh, fuck!

Sweet Jesus, it's him.
Oh, my God!

(HUMMING)

(ENGINE STALLING)

Shit! Come on,
you fucking bastard.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
I've got to go. I've got to...

Well, they've nailed me,
goddamn it.

I'm trapped in some stinking
desert crossroads called Baker.

I don't have much time, man.
The fuckers are closing in.

They'll hunt me down
like a fucking beast.

GONZO:
You sound a little paranoid.

I need a fucking lawyer
immediately!

What are you doing in Baker?
Didn't you get my telegram?

What telegram,
you worthless bastard?

I'll cripple your ass for this.

You brainless scumbag, you're
supposed to be in Vegas.

I rented a suite
at the Flamingo.

You're supposed to be covering the
National District Attorney's conference.

L made all the reservations.
Everything is arranged.

Now, what the fuck are you doing out
there in the middle of the desert?

Nothing. Never mind.
It's all a big joke.

I'm actually... I'm poolside
at the Flamingo right now,

talking through a portable phone some
dwarf brought out from the casino.

Yeah, I have total credit here.

Don't come anywhere near
this place, you bastard.

Foreigners aren't welcome here.

DUKE NARRATING: Well, this
is how the world works.

All energy flows according to
the whims of the Great Magnet.

What a fool l was to defy him.

L was going back to Vegas.
L had no choice.

(GUN FIRING)

l had to get rid of the Shark.

Too many people might recognize
it, especially the Vegas police.

Luckily, my credit card
was still technically valid.

Now this was
a superior machine.

Ten grand worth of gimmicks and
high-priced special effects.

The rear windows leapt up with a
touch like frogs in a dynamite pond.

The dashboard was full of esoteric
lights and dials and meters

that l would never understand.

Lf the pigs were
gathering in Vegas,

l felt the drug culture
should be represented as well.

And there was a certain bent appeal in
the notion of running a savage burn

on one Las Vegas hotel,

and then just wheeling across
town and checking into another.

Me and 1,000 ranking cops
from all over America.

Why not move confidently
into their midst?

Welcome to
the Flamingo Hotel, sir.

(GRUNTING)

Sir?
Yeah, hi. Right. Okay.

(SINGING)
Let me stay in your arms

l'm addicted to your charms

You're getting to be
a habit with me

l used to think your love
was something that l

Could take

Or leave alone

DUKE NARRATING: My arrival
was badly timed.

(SINGING) But now I couldn't
do without my supply

l need you for my own

This here model is one
that we had to use

when we took on them little
peckerheads down there at Kent State.

And this baby here...

I'm a police chief
from Michigan.

Look, fella,
I have explained to you.

I have this postcard which says that
I have a reservation in this hotel.

I'm very sorry, sir,
but you're on the late list.

And so, your reservation has been
transferred to... It's okay.

The Moonlight Motel which is
just out on Paradise Boulevard.

We've already paid
for our goddamn room!

Well, it's actually a very
fine place of lodging,

and it's only 1 6 blocks from here.
It has a pool, sauna, steam.

You listen to me,
you filthy little faggot!

I want a manager down here,
now, now!

Now, because I'm sick of
listening to your dog shit!

I am very sorry, sir.

Get off of me!
Get away from me!

Can I call you a cab?

Sure, and I'll call you
a cocksucker!

DUKE NARRATING: Of course, l could
hear what the clerk was really saying.

Listen,
you fuzzy little shithead!

I've been fucked around
in my time

by a fairly good cross section

of mean-tempered,
rule-crazy cops.

And now, it's my turn.

So fuck you, Officer.
I'm in charge.

Hey, listen,
I really hate to interrupt,

but I wonder if I could just slide
on through and get out of your way.

The name is Duke. Raoul Duke.

I think my attorney
made the reservations.

Duke, Raoul.

Certainly, sir.

My bags... My bags are out there in
that white Cadillac convertible there.

Maybe somebody could
bring it to the room for me.

Well, let me get
a quart of Wild Turkey,

two-fifths of Bacardi, some ice
for the room, and let's see...

You just calm down!

Shit, let's try some lime chunks.
What do you think?

I say okay.

You don't worry about a thing.

Now, calm down.

You don't hesitate
to call me, Sven.

All right, Sven.

(WAILING)

Thank you very much.

You... You...

I know, I know, I know.
It's hideous.

You're gonna be fine, though.
You're doing well.

I'll see you later. Wait.
Don't touch it.

Good night. Pardon me.
Bye, Sven.

(CRYING)

Look what you did!
Look what you did!

Goddamn you, we wouldn't stay
in this hotel if you begged us!

(SINGING) Magic moments

When two hearts are caring

Magic moments

Memories we've been sharing

Home, sweet home. Whoa.
What kind of sick shit...

(LUCY GRUNTING) Oh, shit!

(GRUNTING)
Shit. What the fuck?

Stop, stop, stop.

She's biting my leg off!

You degenerate pig. Please!

Can't be helped.

My fucking leg!

That's "Lucy In The Sky
With Diamonds."

Lucy, be cool, goddamn it.

Remember what happened at
the airport, okay? Come on.

(LUCY WHIMPERS)

No more of that, okay?
That's my client, Lucy.

That's Mr. Duke,
the famous journalist.

He's paying for this suite,
Lucy.

He's on our side.

He loves artists.

Lucy paints portraits
of Barbra Streisand.

Right?

I drew these from TV.

Really.

She came all the way down...

What's the name of that town?
Montana.

Montana. Just to give these
portraits to Barbra.

We're going over to the Americana
tonight to meet her backstage.

DUKE NARRATING: I desperately
needed peace, rest, sanctuary.

L hadn't counted on this,
finding my attorney on acid

and locked into some kind
of preternatural courtship.

Well.

They must have brought
the car around by now.

So why don't

ou-yay and I-ay

o-gay and et-gay the

uff-stay out of the unk-tray.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Let's get the stuff.

We'll be right back, Lucy.

Give me a kiss? One
kiss, one kiss. No.

LUCY: No.
GONZO: One kiss.

No.
Why not?

No.
Okay.

Don't answer the phone.

God bless.

Well, what are your plans?

Plans?

The child in the bedroom.

Oh, Lucy.
I met her on the plane.

Yeah.
She's a religious freak.

I gave her a cap
before I realized...

Jesus, she's never even
had a drink.

DUKE: Well,
it'll probably work out.

We can keep her loaded, and then
peddle her ass at the drug convention.

Yeah,
she's perfect for this gig.

These cops'll go
50 bucks a head

to beat her into submission
and then gang-fuck her.

We can set her up in one of
these backstreet motels,

hang pictures of Jesus
all over the room,

and then turn these
fucking pigs loose on her.

Hell, she's strong, man.
She'll hold her own.

Jesus Christ,
I knew you were sick,

but I never expected to hear you
actually say that kind of stuff.

You filthy bastard.

Straight economics, man.
This girl's a godsend.

Shit. She could make us
a grand a day.

That's ugly, man.
Stop talking like that.

Well, I figure she can do
about four at a time.

If we keep her full of acid, that's
more like two grand a day, maybe three.

Hold on, man.

What if I just jump on you and
beat the dog shit out of you?

Would that make you feel any
better, you filthy bastard?

All right, listen to me.

In a few hours, she'll probably
be sane enough to work herself

into some sort of towering
Jesus-based rage

at the hazy recollection of being
seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan

who fed her liquor and LSD,

dragged her
to a Vegas hotel room

and then savagely penetrated
every orifice in her little body

with his throbbing,
uncircumcised member.

(WOMAN GASPING)
That's so ugly, man.

Well, fuck, truth hurts.
That's "Argh!"

Yeah.
Argh!

That's argh! Argh!

That's argh!
Argh?

I wanted to help her, man.

Well, you'll go straight to
the gas chamber for this one.

Even if you manage to beat that,
they'll still send you back to Nevada

for rape and consensual sodomy.

No, she's gotta go.

Shit.

It doesn't pay to try to help
somebody these days, huh?

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

Let's go.

Yeah. Americana Hotel?
I need a reservation.

For my niece.

Look, I want her treated very gently.
She's an artist and...

Fuck off.

She might seem
a trifle high-strung.

She's doing her Masters' thesis
on, well, Barbra Streisand.

It's time to meet Barbra.

Last name?

I'd rather not say.
My brother's in politics.

Yeah, you understand.

DUKE NARRATING: l felt like a
Nazi, but it had to be done.

Yeah, yeah, righto.
Okay, yeah. Bye.

Yummy, yummy, yummy
l've got love in my tummy

And l feel like loving you

(HORN HONKING)

Love is such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat

And it's just what l'm gonna do

DUKE NARRATING: Lucy was a potentially
fatal millstone on both our necks.

Hurry the fuck up!

There was absolutely no choice
but to cut her adrift...

Jesus Christ. Take your time!

And hope her memory was fucked.

Here's an extra 1 0 bucks,
buddy.

Make sure
she gets there safely.

(IMPATIENT HUMMING)

That's that.

Hey, man, take off slowly.
Don't attract attention.

(HUMMING) Yummy, yummy, yummy
l've got love in my tummy

Let's find a good seafood
restaurant and eat some red salmon.

I feel a powerful lust
for red salmon.

(GONZO RETCHING)

Oh, no, man. We're gonna be late.
We gotta go.

Goddamn mescaline.

Why the fuck can't they
make it a little less pure?

L welcome you to the third
National D.A.'s Convention

on Narcotics and
Dangerous Drugs.

And now, without further ado,

the man who will define this cancer
eating at the heart of America.

Dr. L. Ron Bumquist.

I saw these bastards in Easy Rider,
but I didn't believe they were real.

Not like this, man,
not hundreds of them.

They're actually pretty nice
people once you get to know them.

Know them? I know these
people in my goddamn blood.

Don't say that word around here.
You'll get them excited.

You're right.

The most efficient way for us to
do this is for each one of us

to try and attempt
to imagine what it is like

inside of the possessed
mind of the addict.

Hmm?

For example, a dope fiend

refers to the reefer butt
as a "roach"

because it resembles
a cockroach.

What the fuck are these
people talking about?

You've got to be crazy on acid to think
a joint looks like a goddamn cockroach.

You will notice that
l have distinguished four...

Four distinct states of being in
the cannabis or marijuana society.

They are cool, groovy,

hip and square.

Seldom, if ever...

Too crazy, man. Too crazy.

(GRUNTING)

We should get the hell out.
What a fucking nightmare.

Lf he figures out
what is happening

then he can rise one notch

and become hip.

And then if he can
convince himself

to approve
of what is happening,

then he becomes groovy.

Groovy.

And then, after that,
he can actually raise himself

to the rank of cool.

He can become one of those

cool guys.

MAN: Dr. Bumquist.

You think the anthropologist
Margaret Mead's

strange behavior of late

could be explained by a
private marijuana addiction?

Good question.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

l'm not really sure
l can answer that.

But what l can tell you, sir,
is if Margaret Mead, at her age

smoked grass,

she'd have one hell of a trip.

(ALL LAUGHING)

One more layer
of deviance to the woman.

This is fuckin' bullshit.

I'll be out in the casino.

Shut up, man. Go to hell!

Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for having me.
MAN: Projector, please.

Excuse me.
All right.

(MUSIC PLAYING ONSCREEN)

MALE NARRATOR:
Know your dope fiend.

Your life may depend on it.

You will not be able to see his
eyes, because of Tea Shades,

but his knuckles will be white
from inner tension.

And his pants
will be crusted with semen

from constantly jacking off when
he can't find a rape victim.

He will stagger and babble
when questioned.

(WOMAN MOANING)

He will not respect your badge.

The dope fiend fears nothing.

He will attack for no reason,
with any weapon at his command

(BOTH MOANING) including yours.

Cheers.

Beware. Any officer
apprehending

a suspected marijuana addict...
Pardon me.

Should use all necessary force immediately.
Sorry. Pardon me.

One stitch in time
on him will usually save nine

(ECHOING) on you.

GONZO: Oh, God. Oh, God.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

(PHONE RINGING)

(GONZO MOANING)

Yeah?

Yes, Mr. Duke, hello.
You have one message.

Call Lucy...

(GONZO RETCHING)

at the Americana Hotel,
room 1 600.

Oh, fuck.

(DIAL TONE) Hello?

Lucy called.

(GONZO RETCHING)

(TOILET FLUSHING)

What?
Lucy called.

What?
Lucy called, man.

(PHONE RINGING)

Those two men in the dock,
they gave me the LSD

and they took me to the hotel.

L don't know what they
done to me, but l remember

it was horrible.

(DUKE GROANS)

They gave you what?

LSD.

JUDGE: Castration!

Double castration!

Where's my .357, man?
Who the fuck knows, man?

(CAR HORN HONKING)

You can't leave me alone
in this snake pit.

You bastard, what did you do
with my .357?

This room is in my name.

Well, tough titty.

Okay, goddamn it!

You're right.

She's my problem. I'll call her,
I'll get her off our backs.

It's gone too fucking far.

Well, I'll take that
into consideration.

Relax.
Relax!

Let me handle this.

Where are my shoes?

The Americana Hotel. What did
you do with my goddamn shoes?

Room 1 600, please.

As your attorney, I advise you to take
a hit out of the little brown bottle

in my shaving kit.

You won't need much.

Just a tiny taste.

Let's have it.
Ah, there it is.

What is this shit?
That stuff

makes pure mescaline
seem like ginger beer, man.

Adrenochrome.

Adrenochrome? Hmm.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Hi, Lucy. God bless.

Hmm?

Yeah, it's me.

Hell, no, I taught the bastard
a lesson he'll never forget.

What? No, not dead.

But he won't be bothering
anybody for a while.

Yeah, I left him out there.

I stomped him.

I pulled all his teeth out.

DUKE NARRATING: l remember
thinking, "Jesus.

"What a terrible thing to lay on
somebody with a head full of acid."

But we have a problem.

That bastard cashed
a bad check downstairs

and gave you as a reference.

They'll be
looking for both of you.

Yeah, I know, Lucy, but you can't
judge a book by its cover.

Some people are
just basically rotten.

Anyway, the last thing
in the world you wanna do

is call this hotel again.

They'll trace the call,
put you straight behind bars.

(BABBLING)

No, I'm moving
to the Tropicana right away.

Hmm.

I'll use a different name.
I'll let you know what it is.

I gotta get off.

Probably have this phone
tapped, baby.

Yeah, I know, it was horrible,
but it's all over now.

(BANGING)

Oh, my God.
There's someone at the door.

(SQUEALING)

(WHISPERING)
There's someone at the door.

(BANGING)

Christ! Hey!

No! I'm innocent!
It was Duke!

It was Duke! Lucy! Lucy!

I love you! I love you!

(SCREAMING)

Don't put that thing on me!

(SCREAMING)

Whoo. Oh.

Well...

That's that.

(GURGLING)

That's the last we should
be hearing from Lucy, man.

(EXHALES)

She's probably stuffing herself
down the incinerator about now.

You know what we need?

We need some opium.

(GURGLING)

DUKE NARRATING: I remember
slumping on the bed.

His performance
had given me a bad jolt.

For a moment, l thought
his mind had snapped,

that he actually believed he was
being attacked by invisible enemies.

But the room was quiet again.

Where'd you get this?

Never mind.
It's absolutely pure.

What kind of monster client have
you hooked up with this time?

Satanism freak.

I think there's only
one source for this stuff,

the adrenaline gland

from a living human body.

I know.

The guy didn't have
any cash to pay me.

He offered me human blood, said it would take
me higher than I'd ever been in my life.

I thought he was kidding. Oh.

So I told him I'd just as soon have
an ounce or so of pure adrenochrome.

Or maybe just
a fresh adrenaline gland

to chew on.

DUKE NARRATING: I could already
feel the stuff working on me.

The first wave felt like a combination
of mescaline and methedrine.

Maybe l should take a swim,
l thought.

Yes, sir.

They nailed this guy
for child molesting.

He swore he didn't do it.

"Why should I fuck with children?" he said.
"They're too small."

(WHINING)

Christ, what could I say?

Even a goddamn werewolf
is entitled to legal counsel.

I didn't dare to
turn the creep down.

He might have picked up a
letter opener and gone after my

pineal gland.

You know?
Yeah.

Crazy.
Why not?

Shit. We should get
some of that.

Just

eat a big handful
and see what happens.

Some of what?

(GRUNTING)

(SNIFFING)

Extract of pineal.

Sure, that's a good idea.

One whiff of that stuff
will turn you

into something out of a goddamn

medical encyclopedia, man.

Beautiful fucking tits.

Man, your head would swell up
like a watermelon.

You'd gain about
1 00 pounds in two hours.

Right!

Grow claws, bleeding warts.

Yes.

And then you'd notice
about six huge, hairy tits

swelling up on your back.

Fantastic!

You'd go blind.

Your body would turn to wax.

They'd have to put you
in a wheelbarrow.

And when you scream for help,

you'll sound like a raccoon.

(WHIMPERING)

Man, I'll try
just about anything,

but I'd never in hell
touch a pineal gland.

Finish the fucking story, man!

What happened?
What about the glands?

Jesus, that stuff got right
on top of you, didn't it?

Look at your face.
You're about to explode.

Maybe you could just

shove me into the pool.

Man, if I put you
in the pool right now,

you'll sink
like a goddamn stone.

You took too much, man.
You took too much. Too much.

(GURGLING)

Don't try and fight it.

You'll get brain bubbles,
strokes, aneurysms.

You'll just wither up and die.

(DUKE MUTTERING INCOHERENTLY)

MAN ON T.V.: They continue
killing innocent people!

Allowing the hopes for peace and
freedom of millions of people

to be suffocated.

So tonight, to you,

the great silent majority...

Sacrifice. Sacrifice.

(ECHOING) Sacrifice.
Sacrifice. Sacrifice.

Sacrifice. Sacrifice.
Sacrifice. Sacrifice.

Sacrifice.

WOMAN: l feel the
cottonwood whispering above

Tammy, Tammy

(MOANING) Tammy's in love

DUKE NARRATING: What kind
of rat-bastard psychotic

would play that song
right now, at this moment?

Tammy, Tammy

When l came to,

the general back-alley ambience
of the suite was so rotten,

so incredibly foul.

How long had l been
lying there?

All these signs of violence.

What had happened?

(INSECT BUZZING)

There was evidence in this
room of excessive consumption

of almost every type of drug known
to civilized man since 1 544 A.D.

(COUGHING)

Oh, ah, Debbie.

Thank God.

Oh, Debbie. Hmm? Look.

DUKE NARRATING: What kind of addict
would need all these coconut husks

and crushed honeydew rinds?

Would the presence of junkies account
for all these uneaten French fries?

These puddles of glazed
ketchup on the bureau?

Maybe so.

But then why all this booze

and these crude
pornographic photos

smeared with mustard that had
dried to a hard, yellow crust?

These were not the hoofprints of
your normal God-fearing junkie.

Lt was too savage,
too aggressive.

GONZO: Put your hands
where I can see them.

What? What?
Jesus God, man. Huh?

Put your hands
where I can see them.

Put your hands
where I can see them!

(GROANS)

DUKE NARRATING: Grim
memories and bad flashbacks.

Get a grip.

Maintain.

How many nights and weird mornings
had this shit been going on?

(URINATING)

Something ugly had happened.
L was sure of it.

(RETCHING)

Who is that?
Oh. Shit, that's me.

(MUTTERING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

WOMAN: Help me!
The fuck!

What the fuck?

(GONZO YELLING)

Oh, shit.

(WOMAN YELLING)

You're under arrest! She
must have used a pass key.

I was polishing my shoes
in the closet

when I noticed her
sneaking in, so I took her.

What made you do it?
Who paid you off?

Nobody! I'm the maid!

You're just as much
a part of it as they are.

Part of what?

The goddamn dope ring.

You must know what's
going on in this hotel.

Why do you think we're here?

(STUTTERING)
I know you're the cops,

but I thought you were just
here for the convention.

I swear. All I wanted to do
was clean up the room.

I don't know
anything about no dope.

Come on, baby.

Don't try to tell us you never
heard of the Grange Gorman.

I swear to Jesus
I never heard of that stuff.

Maybe she's telling the truth.

Maybe she's not part of it.

I swear I'm not. I swear.

In that case,
maybe she can help.

Oh, yes,
I'll help you all you want.

I hate dope.

So do we.

I think we should
put her on the payroll,

see what she comes up with.

You think you can handle it?
What?

One phone call every day.

Don't worry
if it doesn't add up.

That's our problem.

You'd pay me for that?

You're damn right we would.

But the first time that you say
anything about this to anybody

you will go straight to prison
for the rest of your life.

What's your name?

Alice.
Prove it!

Okay.

Just ring Linen Service
and ask for Alice.

All right, Alice.

You'll be contacted by
Inspector Rock, Arthur Rock.

He'll be posing
as a politician,

but you'll have no problem
recognizing him.

That's right, Inspector Rock
will pay you in cash.

$1,000 on the ninth
of every month.

Oh, Lord! I'd do just about
anything for that.

You and a lot of other people.

Come here. The password is,
"One hand washes the other."

The minute you hear that,
you say, "I fear nothing."

Say it.

I fear nothing.
Say it again!

I fear nothing!
Very good.

Get the fuck out of here.

Oh, yeah, listen.
Nice meeting you.

Don't bother
to make up the room.

Just leave a pile of towels and soap
outside the door exactly at midnight.

That way we won't
have to risk another

one of these
little incidents, will we?

Whatever you say, gentlemen.

Thank God for decent people.

DUKE ON TAPE: Say it again!
WOMAN: l fear nothing!

DUKE NARRATING:
Terrible gibberish.

Splintered memories looming up
out of the time fog.

Just press play.

DUKE ON TAPE: This is it,
the American Dream.

Shit!

We're sitting
on the main nerve right now.

Yeah, don't get me started.

The owner always wanted to run away and
join the circus when he was a kid.

Now the son of a bitch
owns the circus.

Ah, man,
a real license to steal.

Oh, yeah.

The American Dream
come true, man.

Pure Horatio Alger.

Yeah. Welcome
to the happy place.

(GRUNTING)

Listen, let's get down
to brass tacks here.

How much for the ape?

MAN CHUCKLING:
How much you got?

DUKE ON TAPE: How much do you
think you'd take for the ape?

Just wait here.
L'll be back.

DUKE NARRATING: Madness.
Lt made no sense at all.

L desperately needed the facts.

(DUKE YELLING)

(HARD ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING ON TAPE)

What the fuck is going on?

Where's the ape, man?
Where's the ape?

MAN: Forget about it.
He attacked an old man.

Bit off the head
of the bartender,

then the cops came
and took him away.

(GRUNTING) Is that your car?

(SHOUTING)

Somebody stop them!

DUKE: You poor fools
don't understand, do you?

This car is property of the World Bank.
That money goes to Italy.

You can't put on a circus
without a tent.

The top is completely jammed.
You're right.

There's something wrong
with the motor.

We're all riders of the storm.

Where are you, you fucking monkey?
You can't do that!

You people voted
for Hubert Humphrey.

And you killed Jesus.

DUKE: There was every reason to believe
that we'd been heading for trouble,

that we'd pushed
our luck a bit too far.

Oh, gosh, shit! God!

Right. Uh...

The possibility

of physical and mental collapse

is now very real.

No sympathy for the devil.

Keep that in mind.

Uh, buy the ticket...

Uh, take the ride.

(WEEPING)

Hey, there.

You folks want to
buy some heroin?

(GONZO WEEPING)

Hey, honkies! Goddamn it!

Pull ahead, will you?

I want to sell you
some pure fucking scag!

Cheap! The real stuff.

I just got back from Vietnam.

Scag.

I want to sell you
some pure fucking scag.

Shit! Fuck!

Now hear me, you bastard!
Pull over! I'll kill you!

MAN ON TAPE:
Pull over! Come on!

Oh, shit. Oh, oh.

(SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay. Let's see here.

DUKE NARRATING: The mentality of
Las Vegas is so grossly atavistic

that a really massive crime
often slips by unrecognized.

North Vegas is where you go when you've
fucked up once too often on the Strip.

And when you're not even welcome
in the cut-rate downtown places.

(SCREAMING)

The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed like
a fairly safe haven from our storms.

No hassles, no talk.

Just a place to rest
and regroup.

L wasn't even hungry.

There was nothing in the
atmosphere of the North Star

to put me on my guard.

Two glasses
of ice water with ice.

Two.

She looked like a burnt-out
caricature of Jane Russell.

She was definitely
in charge here.

He did it very casually,

but l knew that our peace
was about to be shattered.

What was that?

What is this?

It's a napkin.

Don't give me that bullshit.

I know what that means,
you fat goddamn pimp bastard!

That's the name of a horse
I used to own, ma'am.

What's wrong with you?

DUKE NARRATING: The question
mark was emphasized.

WAITRESS: You listen to me,
you son of a bitch.

I gotta take a lot of shit
in this place,

but I don't have to
take it off no spic pimp!

Anybody that knows
anything knows that.

Go on! Pay your check
and get out of here!

You want me to call the cops?

I'll call the fuck...

Oh, shit.

DUKE: Fuck.

Want me to call the cops?

(COUGHS)

How much is that
lemon meringue pie?

DUKE NARRATING: Her eyes were turgid
with fear, but her brain was functioning

on some basic
motor survival level.

35 cents.

How much is that
lemon meringue pie?

35 cents.

Whoo! What a waste of talent.

No, honey,
I mean the whole pie.

The whole pie.

(GASPS) Hmm?

What, three?

(SNIFFLING)

Three? Four?

Five? Hmm?

Five.

I'll be in the car.

The sight of the blade
had triggered bad memories.

The glazed look in her eyes
said her throat had been cut.

She was still in the grip
of paralysis when we left.

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

(SOBBING)

DUKE NARRATING:
lt was all over now.

We'd abused every rule
that Vegas lived by.

Threatening the locals,
abusing the tourists,

terrifying the help.

The only chance now, l felt

was the possibility
that we'd gone to such excess

that nobody in the position to
bring the hammer down on us

could possibly believe it.

Fifteen minutes to get
my attorney to the airport,

could we make it?

Christ!

No!

Oh, fuck!

Fuck.
Whoa, shit! Whoa, shit!

Oh, God. Oh, God.
You son of a bitch!

Oh, God.

(SCREAMING)

GONZO: You're going the wrong way.
DUKE: The next left.

GONZO: Stop!

Go! Fuck!

Take a right here.
Take a right here.

GONZO: Goddamn it. We're lost.

What are we doing out here
on this godforsaken road?

The airport's over there.

Goddamn it! It's over there.

I've never missed a plane yet.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hold on!

All right. I'm gonna drop you
right next to the plane.

Fuck you. I'm gonna have to take the blame.
They'll crucify me.

Right here, right here.

Ridiculous, man.

Just say you were hitchhiking to
the airport, and I picked you up.

You bastard.

Get out.

Hey, hey! Hey, listen.

Don't take any guff
from these swine.

If you have
any trouble, remember,

you can always send a telegram
to the right people.

Yeah, explaining my position.

Some asshole wrote
a poem about that once.

Probably good advice,
if you have shit for brains.

(GONZO LAUGHING)

DUKE NARRATING: There he goes.
One of God's own prototypes.

A high-powered mutant
of some kind

never even considered
for mass production.

Too weird to live,

(GRUNTING) and too rare to die.

(SINGING) There you stood
on the edge of your feather

Expecting to fly

DUKE NARRATING: We're all wired
into a survival trip now.

No more of the speed
that fueled the '60s.

That was the fatal flaw
in Tim Leary's trip.

He crashed around America, selling
"consciousness expansion"

without ever giving a thought

to the grim meat-hook realities
that were lying in wait

for all those people
who took him seriously.

All those pathetically
eager acid freaks

who thought they could buy peace and
understanding for three bucks a hit.

But their loss and failure

is ours too.

What Leary took down with him was the
central illusion of a whole lifestyle

that he helped create.

A generation
of permanent cripples,

failed seekers,

who never understood the essential
old-mystic fallacy of the acid culture.

The desperate assumption

that somebody
or at least some force

is tending the light
at the end of the tunnel.

There was only one road
back to L.A.

U.S. lnterstate 1 5.

Just a flat out high-speed burn
through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo.

Then onto
the Hollywood Freeway,

straight into frantic oblivion,

safety, obscurity.

Just another freak
in the freak kingdom.

(SINGING) I was born
in a cross-fire hurricane

But l howled at my ma
in the driving rain

But it's all right now

ln fact, it's a gas

But it's all right

l'm Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Lt's a gas, gas, gas.

L was raised by a toothless,
bearded hag

l was schooled with a strap
right across my back

But it's all right now

ln fact, it's a gas

But it's all right

l'm Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Lt's a gas, gas, gas

l was drowned l was washed
up and left for dead

l fell down to my feet

And l saw they bled

Yeah, yeah l frowned

At the crumbs
of a crust of bread

Yeah, yeah, yeah, l was crowned

With a spike
right through my head

Yeah, yeah, yeah

But it's all right now

ln fact, it's a gas

But it's all right

l'm Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Lt's a gas, gas, gas

Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Lt's a gas

Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Lt's a gas.

(SINGING) Bright light city
gonna set my soul

lt's gonna set my soul on fire

l got a whole lotta money
that's a-ready to burn

So get those stakes up high

There's a thousand
pretty women waitin' out there

They're all waitin'
The devil may care

And l'm just a devil
with love to spare

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

How l wish that there were more

Than the 24 hours in the day

Even if l ran out of sleep

Boy, l wouldn't
sleep a minute away

Oh, there's blackjack and
poker and the roulette wheel

A fortune won and lost
on every deal

All you need's a strong heart
and nerves of steel

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas where the
neon signs are flashing

And the one-armed
bandits crashing

All those hopes down the drain

Viva Las Vegas
turning day into nighttime

Turning night into daytime

lf you see it once
you'll never be the same again

l gotta keep on runnin'
Gonna have me some fun

lf it costs me
my very last dime

lf l wind up broke
then l'll always remember

That l had a swingin' time

Oh, l'm gonna give it
everything l've got

Lady Luck's with me,
Dice, stay hot

Got coke up my nose
to dry away the snot

So Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas

Viva, Viva

Las Vegas

Whee!