All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S05E23.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

PREVIOUSLY ON...

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

ONE PROPOSAL LED TO ANOTHER.

(gasps)
WE'RE WITH IMMIGRATION.

BUT THE LAW GET IN THE WAY.
CAN'T THIS WAIT?
WE'RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED.

NOT TODAY, YOU'RE NOT.
A BREAK-IN WAS STAGED...

ORSON, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED.

IN AN ATTEMPT TO HIDE ASSETS
IN A DIVORCE.

AFTER THE CRASH...
AND THE TRUTH
ABOUT THE ACCIDENT CAME OUT.

MIKE TOLD 'EM THAT HE WAS
DRIVING, BUT IT WASN'T TRUE.

(Mary Alice) THE THING
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

ABOUT DAVE WILLIAMS
IS HE WANTED TO BE FORGIVEN.

THAT'S WHY HE MADE
THE VIDEOTAPE.

I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL
M.J. DELFINO.

I HAD TO.

(sighs)

SUSAN MAYER KILLED
MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER.

THE POLICE CALLED IT...
AN ACCIDENT.

BUT I DON'T BELIEVE A PERSON

WHO TAKES TWO PRECIOUS LIVES

SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO JUST...

WALK AWAY.

I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WILL WONDER,

WHY DIDN'T I JUST KILL SUSAN?

BUT WHAT GOOD
WOULD THAT HAVE DONE?

SHE'D BE DEAD.
THERE'D BE NO...

SUFFERING.

(voice breaks)
AND TO THOSE WHO HATE ME

BECAUSE I TOOK THE LIFE...

OF AN INNOCENT YOUNG BOY,
I SAY...

(doorbell rings)

AW, CRAP.

(beep)

YES, DAVE WILLIAMS WANTED
EVERYONE TO FORGIVE HIM...

LOOK, I GOT A NEW TACKLE BOX
FOR OUR TRIP ON SATURDAY.

BUT NOT UNTIL
HE FINISHED DOING...

THE UNFORGIVABLE.

AFTER
THE WHITE HORSE NIGHTCLUB

WAS DESTROYED
BY A SUSPICIOUS FIRE,

ONE BODY WAS LEFT UNCLAIMED.

THE DETECTIVES ON THIS CASE
REFERRED TO HIM AS...

"JOHN DOE A-37."

FOR MONTHS,
THEY TRIED TO IDENTIFY HIM.

THEN ONE DAY, THEY GOT A CALL
FROM AN IMPOUND LOT.

IT SEEMS A CAR HAD BEEN TOWED
FROM THE CLUB PARKING LOT

THE NIGHT OF THE FIRE--

A SEDAN
THAT HAD BEEN RENTED...

TO A DR. SAMUEL HELLER
FROM BOSTON,

WHO HAD BEEN REPORTED MISSING
FOUR MONTHS EARLIER.

THE DOCTOR'S DENTAL RECORDS
CONFIRMED THEIR THEORY.

HIS RECEPTIONIST, HOWEVER,

DID NOT.

NO WAY.

DR. HELLER DID NOT DIE
IN THAT FIRE.

MA'AM, WE'VE GOT
HIS DENTAL RECORDS.

I DON'T CARE. YOU SAID
THE FIRE WAS FOUR MONTHS AGO?

WELL, I'VE GOTTEN TEXTS
FROM HIM SINCE THEN.

YOU HAVE?

YEAH. THE LAST ONE WAS
JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO.

HMM.

MAYBE WE SHOULD
SEND A TEXT BACK.

MA'AM, YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE
WITH YOU?

(vibrates)

HEY, DAVE.

I WAS GONNA CALL YOU.

YOU WERE?
YEAH. UM... DID YOU
SAY SOMETHING TO M.J.

ABOUT GOING
ON THAT FISHING TRIP?
YEAH, I DID.

I KNOW HOW DEPRESSED YOU'VE BEEN
SINCE JACKSON WAS DEPORTED,

SO I THOUGHT,
NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME

FOR THE THREE OF US TO GO
UP TO THE LAKE. AND...

(paper bag crinkles)
I GOT M.J. HIS OWN
LITTLE LIFE VEST.

I WISH I COULD, BUT I CAN'T.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT JACKSON.
ALL THE MORE REASON.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY
ABOUT FISHING--

IT'S NATURE'S TRANQUILIZER.
(laughs)
(chuckles)

DAVE, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM
JACKSON SINCE HE WAS TAKEN AWAY,

AND I JUST WANNA BE HERE
IN CASE HE CALLS.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
JUST BRING YOUR CELL PHONE.

I'D JUST FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE
IF I'M CLOSE BY.

OH, THAT'S CRAZY.

I MEAN, JACKSON WOULDN'T
WANT YOU SITTIN' AROUND HERE

WORRYING ABOUT HIM.

I'M SORRY.
WE'LL GO FISHING ANOTHER TIME.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING
A LITTLE SELFISH HERE?

I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT M.J.?

YOU WANNA GO FISHING,
DON'T YOU, BUDDY?
YEAH!

YEAH.

(chuckles)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I JUST TOLD YOU I CAN'T GO.

I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT M.J.

HE'LL BE FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S JUST A TRIP.

(exhales deeply)

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!
(scoffs)

SIX MONTHS IN EUROPE
WOULD BE EDUCATIONAL.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE
MORE EDUCATIONAL?

YOU GOING TO COLLEGE
LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT.

MOM, I'VE ALREADY BEEN IN SCHOOL
FOR 12 YEARS ALREADY.

I... I NEED A VACATION.
WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE, BASED ON
YOUR LAST FEW REPORT CARDS,

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN
ON VACATION.

I'M GONNA BE 18. IF I WANNA
GO TO EUROPE, I'LL GO TO EUROPE.

OH? WELL, GOOD LUCK
PAYING FOR IT,

BECAUSE IF YOU SO MUCH
AS APPLY FOR A PASSPORT,

WE'RE CUTTIN' YOU OFF.
CUT OFF FROM THE MIGHTY
SCAVO FAMILY FORTUNE? OH, NO!

(scoffs) TOM, WHY DIDN'T YOU
HELP ME OUT THERE?

BECAUSE I AGREE WITH HIM.

WHAT?

WELL, HE'S YOUNG.
HE SHOULD BE HAVING FUN.

I MEAN, LOOK--LOOK AT ME.
I'M A MIDDLE-AGED MAN

READING THE WANT ADS
FOR JOBS THAT I'LL NEVER GET.

I SHOULD'VE GONE TO EUROPE
WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE.
HEY, FOCUS.

OUR SON IS
THROWING HIS LIFE AWAY.

WE HAVE GOT TO KEEP HIM
ON TRACK.
(hits newspaper)

WHAT IS SO GREAT
ABOUT THE TRACK?

I WAS ON IT. I DID EVERYTHING
I WAS SUPPOSED TO.

IT CHEWED ME UP
AND SPIT ME OUT.

I KNOW YOU'RE DISCOURAGED,

BUT... LETTING OUR SON
MAKE A HUGE MISTAKE

IS NOT GONNA HELP ANYTHING.
EVEN IF IT IS A HUGE MISTAKE,

YOU GOT TO LET PEOPLE MAKE SOME
DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN LIFE.

YOUR WAY
IS NOT THE ONLY WAY.

I AM JUST
TRYING TO HELP PRESTON

AVOID THE WAY MARKED
"UNEMPLOYABLE LOSER."

(sighs) FINE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I WANT YOU TO GET THIS STUPID
EUROPE IDEA OUT OF HIS HEAD.

TAKE HIM ON A TOUR
OF THE CAMPUS.

GET HIM EXCITED.
SHOW HIM COLLEGE COULD BE FUN.

SURE.

AND ON THE WAY HOME,
I'LL SHOW MY COLLEGE DIPLOMA

TO THE GUY
AT THE BURGER BARN.
OHH.

YEAH. THEY'RE HIRING A NEW
FRY COOK FOR THE NIGHT SHIFT.

IF YOU'RE REALLY
STOPPING BY THERE,

BRING HOME SOME ONION RINGS.

MOMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE'RE GOING TO A FAMILY REUNION
AT AUNT CONNIE'S ON SATURDAY,

AND I WANT TO LOOK MY BEST.

IS IT GONNA BE FUN?

WELL, IF YOUR IDEA
OF A GOOD TIME

IS SITTING ON RUSTY LAWN CHAIRS
IN THE DRIVEWAY

EATING LARD
IN THE SHAPE OF CHICKEN,

THEN YEAH!
IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST.
THE DRIVEWAY?

HONEY, YOU'RE 6 NOW,

SO I THINK IT'S TIME WE HAD
A LITTLE MOTHER/DAUGHTER TALK.

YOUR FATHER'S SIDE
OF THE FAMILY'S TRASH.

ANY QUESTIONS?

IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER,

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ON
YOUR BEST JEWELRY?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT GROWNUPS DO,
SWEETIE.

WHEN WE DON'T LIKE SOMEONE,
WE DON'T PUNCH THEM

OR SAY MEAN THINGS.
WE JUST FIND SUBTLE WAYS

TO MAKE THEM FEEL BAD
ABOUT THEIR LIVES.

OOH, LIKE THESE EARRINGS.
AUNT CONNIE CAN'T AFFORD THEM,

AND THAT'LL MAKE HER SAD.

AND THIS WILL BRING HER
TO HER KNEES.

AND THIS WILL BE
A KICK IN HER THROAT.

IF YOU HATE 'EM SO MUCH,
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T GO.

OH, NO, SWEETIE. WE HAVE TO GO.
THEY'RE FAMILY.

SEE, THIS IS WHY I WANTED
TO CHECK ON MY THINGS.

YOU DON'T LEAVE A VALUABLE
PAINTING ON THE DAMN FLOOR.

YOU NEED TO PUT SOMETHING
UNDERNEATH IT.

FINE. HOW ABOUT
THIS UGLY DOORMAT?

THAT IS NOT A DOORMAT.

THAT IS A HANDWOVEN
KURDISH KAZAK RUG.

(thud)

YOU KNOW, BREE,
WHEN I HANG OUT WITH YOU,

I REALIZE HOW LITTLE I KNOW

AND HOW MUCH
I DON'T GIVE A CRAP.

(air echoing and whooshing)
(gasps) GIVE ME THAT.

I'M SO GLAD THIS DIVORCE
IS ALMOST OVER.

AN OBNOXIOUS, UNPLEASANT MAN
WILL BE OUT OF MY LIFE,

AND SO WILL ORSON.

HEY, IT'S NOT OVER YET.

YOU STILL GOT
A COUPLE OF HURDLES.

HAS ORSON BROUGHT UP
THE INSURANCE CLAIM AGAIN?

NO, HE THINKS I FILED IT.

GREAT. WHEN HE REALIZES YOU
NEVER DID, YOU'LL BE DIVORCED,

HE'LL BE BROKE,
AND IT WON'T MATTER.

YES,
AND I'LL BE SINGLE AGAIN,

AND I CAN CONCENTRATE
ON MY BUSINESS,

MAYBE DO SOME TRAVELING.

MAYBE SPEND A LITTLE TIME

AT THE INTERSECTION
OF RIGHT LEG AND LEFT LEG,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
SADLY, KARL, I ALWAYS KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT,
I COULD SET YOU UP.

I KNOW A LOT OF GREAT GUYS WHO
ARE GOOD FOR A FREE DINNER.

(bells jingle)
AND A FEW LAUGHS, HUH?

THANKS, KARL.
I'M NOT EVEN DIVORCED YET,

AND ONCE I AM, I DON'T THINK
YOU'D BE MY FIRST CHOICE

AS A MATCHMAKER.
OH, SHOOT.

(bells jingle)

(tires peal)

(sighs)

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(beep)
HELLO?

HEY, SUSAN, IT'S ME.

Jackson,
I have been so worried.

WHERE--WHERE ARE YOU?
Fairview Jail.

THEY'RE PROCESSING
MY DEPORTATION PAPERS.

SO THEY'RE SENDING YOU BACK?
WHEN?

COUPLE DAYS.

I just wanted to call
and say thank you and...

TELL YOU THAT I'LL MISS YOU.

WELL... I'LL MISS YOU, TOO.

I MEAN,
YOU CAME IN MY LIFE

WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH
A REALLY HARD TIME,

AND YOU WERE AMAZING.

I mean, you are amazing.

YOU, TOO.
So...

DID THE IMMIGRATION PEOPLE
TELL YOU

HOW THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU?
Anonymous tip.

ALTHOUGH IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS
WHO "ANONYMOUS" IS.

(chuckles) DOES MIKE REALLY
THINK I'M THAT STUPID?

MIKE?
YOU THINK MIKE DID THIS?

Who else?

MIKE AND KATHERINE WERE
THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNEW.

KATHERINE WAS DOING CARTWHEELS
ABOUT US GETTING MARRIED, SO...

YEAH, BUT, NO,
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE

BECAUSE MIKE KNEW
THAT IT WASN'T FOR REAL.

WELL, REAL OR NOT,
HE HAD THE LOOK OF A GUY

WHO'S NOT READY
TO GIVE YOU UP, SO--

TIME'S UP.

UH, I-I GOTTA GO.

I'LL TRY AND CALL YOU AGAIN
BEFORE I LEAVE.

(beep)

(sighs)

(keys jangle)

(chuckles)

(door opens)

(Tom) HEY!
(door closes)

HEY, HEY,
HOW WAS THE CAMPUS TOUR?

FANTASTIC.
OH!

OH, MY GOD.
THAT SCHOOL IS AMAZING.

OH.
THE PROFESSORS ARE SO ENGAGED,

AND THE KIDS WERE OPEN
AND FRIENDLY.

REALLY?

YEAH. IT WAS INSPIRING.
YOU WERE SO RIGHT TO SEND US.

GOOD. GOOD.
I KNEW IF YOU SAW THE CAMPUS,

YOU'D HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART.

ME? NAH.
I'M STILL GOING TO EUROPE.

WHAT WAS THAT? I THOUGHT
YOU SAID THE TOUR WAS FANTASTIC.

OKAY, SO PRESTON STILL NEEDS
A LITTLE CONVINCING.

BUT I DON'T.

I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.

WH-WHAT'S THAT NOW?

OKAY. I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE
OUT OF LEFT FIELD,

BUT WALKING ACROSS THE QUAD,
I FELT SO ALIVE.

I SPOKE WITH SOMEONE
IN ADMISSIONS,

AND ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS PASS AN ENTRANCE EXAM.

SO...

AHEM. YOU WOULD BE
A COLLEGE STUDENT... AGAIN.

MM-HMM.

(chuckles nervously)
25 YEARS AFTER THE FIRST TIME.

BUT THIS TIME--FOCUSED.

THIS TIME, KNOWING EXACTLY
WHAT I WANNA MAJOR IN.

WHICH IS?

CHINESE.

CHINESE?

(all) CHINESE?

AS IN "MOO GOO GAI PAN"
CHINESE?

WHAT'S HE GONNA DO
WITH THAT,

WATCH BRUCE LEE MOVIES
WITHOUT THE SUBTITLES?

(scoffs)
WE DIDN'T GET THAT FAR.

I FELT FAINT, AND HE LEFT
TO GO BUY A BACKPACK.

OOH. LYNETTE, THAT'S BAD.

WELL, IT'S JUST SO RANDOM,
AND THE WORST PART IS

IF I POINT THAT OUT,
I'M A BITCH.

WHY IS THAT?

WHEN DID BEING PRACTICAL
AND REALISTIC

BECOME SYNONYMOUS
WITH BITCHINESS?

THE FIRST TIME
A MAN DID SOMETHING STUPID,

AND A WOMAN POINTED IT OUT.

I KNOW TOM. HE'S GOING TO LEARN
HOW TO COUNT TO TEN IN CHINESE,

THEN HE'LL GET BORED
AND MOVE ON TO HIS NEW DREAM

OF BECOMING A BEEKEEPER.
WELL, THEN YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
BITE THE BULLET AND BITCH.

NO, SHE HAS A CHOICE.

IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE
TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

WITHOUT BEING PERCEIVED OF
AS A NAGGING SHREW.

PLEASE, SENSEI, INSTRUCT ME
IN YOUR ANCIENT WAYS.

WELL, THE KEY IS TO NOT LET THEM
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

THIS REQUIRES OBSERVATION,
CUNNING AND MANIPULATION.

ISN'T IT JUST EASIER
TO SHUT DOWN YOUR HOO-HA

UNTIL HE GIVES IN?
I THINK THAT BREE IS RIGHT--

THAT THE MORE TOM SEES YOU
DIGGING IN YOUR HEELS,

THE MORE HE'S GONNA
WANNA DO IT.

SO YOU WAIT
FOR AN OPPORTUNITY

THAT YOU CAN USE
TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

WHILE AT THE SAME TIME
APPEARING SUPPORTIVE.
THAT'S YOUR ADVICE?

HOPE AN OPPORTUNITY
JUST DROPS IN MY LAP?

MIGHT AS WELL START SHOPPING
FOR BEEKEEPER SUITS.

(car door shuts in distance)

OH, YOU GUYS, I'M SORRY.
I GOTTA RUN.

HEY.
I NEED TO TALK TO MIKE.

OH, HE'S IN THE SHOWER, BUT I'LL
TELL HIM YOU STOPPED BY.
OH, NO NEED. I'LL WAIT.

ORSON, I'M HOME.

(lamp switch clicks)

(bells jingling)

HAVE A SEAT.

(bells jingle)

SO THERE NEVER WAS
A ROBBERY.

YOU TOOK THESE THINGS,
HOPING TO HIDE THEM FROM ME.

AND THOUGH I'VE TRIED TO COME UP
WITH A REASON, I CAN'T.

SO I'M FORCED TO ASK
THE QUESTION WHY.

WHY WOULD YOU DO
SUCH A THING?

I WANT A DIVORCE.

I'M SORRY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

MY LAWYER SAYS YOU'RE ENTITLED
TO HALF OF EVERYTHING

WE'VE ACQUIRED
DURING THE MARRIAGE,

SO I WAS TRYING TO HIDE
SOME OF THOSE THINGS,

SINCE--LET'S FACE IT--
I PAID FOR THEM.

YOU'VE ALREADY HIRED
A LAWYER?

YES, BUT I'M TIRED
OF ALL THE LYING

AND THE SNEAKING AROUND,
SO I WILL INFORM HIM

THAT YOU CAN HAVE
WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE.

WELL, THAT PART'S
NON-NEGOTIABLE.

CAN'T WE AT LEAST
TALK ABOUT THIS?

THERE'S NO POINT.

SO YOU SHOULD GET A PIECE
OF PAPER, START TO MAKE A LIST

OF WHAT IT IS YOU WISH
TO TAKE WITH YOU.

SO... YOU DON'T WANT
ANY OF IT?

NO. ALL I WANT IS OUT.

YOU KNOW, HE MIGHT BE A WHILE.
SURE I CAN'T HELP YOU?

NO, I NEED
TO TALK TO MIKE.

NOW YOU COULD FLUSH THE TOILET
AND TRY TO GET HIM OUT OF THERE.

(chuckles)

YOU SEEM UPSET.

SOMETHING HAPPENED?

DID MIKE TURN JACKSON IN
TO IMMIGRATION?

NO. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. JEALOUSY?

JACKSON THINKS MIKE
IS STILL HUNG UP ON ME.

TRUST ME, SUSAN.
MIKE DID NOT TURN JACKSON IN.

MM. SHOWER'S OFF.

I GUESS WE'LL KNOW
IN A FEW SECONDS.

LISTEN... MIKE COULDN'T HAVE
CALLED IMMIGRATION

BECAUSE I NEVER TOLD HIM

THAT JACKSON WAS MARRYING YOU
FOR A GREEN CARD.

WELL, SOMEBODY DID,
BECAUSE HE SENT ME A TEXT

AGREEING TO KEEP PAYING ME
ALIMONY.

THAT WAS ME.

I SENT IT.

ARE YOU INSANE?
WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING--

(normal voice) MIKE HAS
ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.

WHAT?

(voice breaks) AND I WAS AFRAID
THAT IF HE FOUND OUT

THAT YOU WEREN'T REALLY
IN LOVE WITH JACKSON,

THAT HE MIGHT
CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT ME.

OKAY, KATHERINE,
THAT IS...

(scoffs)
IT'S TOTALLY UNFAIR TO MIKE.

I MEAN, HE NEEDS TO KNOW
THE TRUTH.

I CAN MAKE HIM HAPPY,
SUSAN.

HE JUST NEEDS
TO GET OVER YOU.

(Mike) KATHERINE?

(whispers)
PLEASE, DON'T RUIN THIS.

(descending footsteps)

HEY, YOU WANNA JUST ORDER IN?

OH, HEY, SUSAN.

UM...
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

UM, I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANNA TELL YOU.

UM, YEAH. I...

KATHERINE ALREADY TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR BIG NEWS.

(chuckles)

OH.

OKAY. UM...

WELL, I HOPE WE HAVE
YOUR BLESSING. (chuckles)

(chuckles nervously)

YES, SURE.

UH...

(sighs) WHY NOT?

I'M SORRY, SUSAN.

I WAS GONNA TELL YOU
MYSELF.

WELL, DON'T BE MAD
AT KATHERINE.

WE ALL KNOW THAT SHE JUST
CAN'T... KEEP A SECRET.

WOW, THIS PLACE IS LOOKING
WORSE THAN EVER.

YEAH, AUNT CONNIE'S SALONS
HAVEN'T BEEN DOING SO WELL.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TAKE OFF SOME OF THOSE DIAMONDS.

YOU WALK IN THERE LIKE THAT,

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HER
FEEL BAD ABOUT HERSELF.
SAY NO MORE.

YOU KNOW, AUNT CONNIE'S LIKE
A SECOND MOTHER TO ME.

WHY DO YOU HATE HER SO MUCH?
BECAUSE ALL SHE EVER DOES
IS PUT ME DOWN.

IF YOU'D PAY ATTENTION, YOU'D
SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

OH! THERE'S MY CARLOS!

(chuckles) HI, TíA.
HI!

MMM.

(gasps)
ARE THESE THE GIRLS?

NO! THEY'RE SO GROWN UP!

(Carlos chuckles)
(gasps)

AND, GABY...

(chuckles)

IS IT JUST ME,

OR DO YOU GET MORE BEAUTIFUL
EVERY TIME I SEE YOU?

NO, IT'S NOT JUST YOU.

COME HERE. GIVE ME A HUG.
LET ME SEE YOUR PALMS.

GABY.
FINE. (chuckles)

OH!
OH! (groans) OH!

(Carlos chuckles)
(laughs)

NOW COME ON IN!

THE WHOLE FAMILY'S HERE.

AND I'VE MADE SOME
OF MY WORLD-FAMOUS TAMALES.

AUNT CONNIE SEEMS NICE.

MAYBE SHE'S CHANGED.

TRASH DON'T CHANGE, SWEETHEART.
SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

NOW COME ON,
LET'S GO GRAB A LAWN CHAIR

BEFORE WE GET STUCK
ON THE GRASS WITH THE FIRE ANTS.

(sighs)

(beep)
(man) Tom Scavo,
this is Mr. Cummings.

We met during
your tour of the campus.

Forgive me,

but I gave you the wrong date
for the admissions test.

It's tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.
So get a good night's sleep,

and we'll see you
first thing in the morning.
(beep)

HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!
OH! COMING. I'M COMING.

IT GOES... THERE.

SO... I WAS THINKING THIS WHOLE
GOING BACK TO SCHOOL THING...

DESERVES
A LITTLE CELEBRATION.

REALLY? I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE ON BOARD.

I WANNA BE SUPPORTIVE.

LET'S GO FOR A NICE DINNER,

GET A BOTTLE OF WINE...

MAYBE TWO, SINCE WE DON'T HAVE
TO WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW.

OR WE CAN GO
TO THAT MEXICAN PLACE

THAT HAS
THOSE GREAT MARGARITAS.

OH, TOM. YOU AND TEQUILA?

WHAT A GREAT IDEA.

OKAY, EVERYBODY,
I NEED YOU TO GATHER AROUND.

AUNT CONNIE
HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.

GABY, COME ON.
MY TíA'S WAITING.

WELL, LET HER WAIT.
I NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK.

I MEAN TRYING TO KEEP DOWN ONE
OF HER "WORLD-FAMOUS" TAMALES.

(Connie) THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH
FOR COMING TODAY.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG
SINCE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER.

WE LOVE YOU, AUNT CONNIE.

OH, AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU.

THERE'S NOTHING
MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY.

AND NOW I HAVE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

AS MANY OF YOU KNOW,

I'VE BATTLED A WEAK HEART
FOR MOST OF MY LIFE.

AND THE DOCTOR NOW TELLS ME

THAT I MAY ONLY HAVE
A FEW MONTHS LEFT.

(can fizzes)

SORRY.

BAD HEART.
FLOOR'S ALL YOURS.

(Connie) AS SOME OF YOU KNOW,

I'VE BEEN TAKING CARE
OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER,

MY BEAUTIFUL ANA.

BECAUSE OF MY CONDITION,
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE,

AND I NEED SOMEONE
TO TAKE HER IN.

I REALIZE THAT THIS IS
A LOT TO ASK.

WE WOULD LOVE TO HELP OUT,
BUT MIGUEL JUST LOST HIS JOB.

WE'RE BARELY SCRAPING BY.

I UNDERSTAND.

OBVIOUSLY, IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE
WHO CAN AFFORD TO DO THIS.

WE WISH WE COULD,
BUT WE'VE GOT SUCH A FULL HOUSE.

MAYBE IT SHOULD BE SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T HAVE KIDS.

I KNOW THIS IS NOT GONNA
BE EASY, BUT WE'RE FAMILY,

AND THIS IS WHAT WE DO
FOR EACH OTHER.

(mouths word)
(mouths word)

WELL, YOU KNOW...

WE'RE STILL GONNA
BE FAMILY TOMORROW,

SO I THINK WE SHOULD
THINK ABOUT IT OVERNIGHT

AND SEARCH OUR HEARTS,

AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT

WHICH ONE OF YOUR HOMES
IS BEST FOR ANA.

GABRIELLE'S RIGHT.

AND PLEASE KNOW THAT I WON'T
JUDGE ANY OF YOU HARSHLY

IF YOU DECIDE
THAT YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE

OF MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDDAUGHTER.

WE LOVE YOU, AUNT CONNIE!

YAY!

(hums softly)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M HELPING.

I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.

AND BESIDES, MY PARISIAN SALAD
DOESN'T CALL FOR ANY CHIVES.

YES. I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT
IT WAS A BIT BLAND.

(scraping)
I THINK THE CHIVES WILL GIVE IT
THE BITE IT'S SO SORELY LACKING.

MY SALAD HAS PLENTY OF BITE.

SO... WHEN ARE YOU
MOVING OUT?

ACTUALLY, I'M NOT.

EXCUSE ME?

OH, I'VE DECIDED TO STAY
SO WE CAN WORK ON OUR MARRIAGE.

AM I CUTTING THESE TOO FINE?

ORSON, I UNDERSTAND
THIS IS A SHOCK,

BUT YOU HAVE TO FACE FACTS.
OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER.

AH, ONCE YOU WEIGH
WHAT'S AT STAKE,

I THINK YOU'LL CHANGE
YOUR MIND.

WELL, IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO THE FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT,

I ALREADY TOLD YOU,
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

NO, ACTUALLY,
I'M REFERRING TO YOUR FREEDOM.

I'VE BEEN TO JAIL, BREE.

TRUST ME, YOU WOULDN'T LAST
TEN SECONDS.

JAIL?
YES, OF COURSE.

WELL, INSURANCE FRAUD
IS A SERIOUS CRIME.
AH, BUT I NEVER FILED
AN INSURANCE CLAIM.

AH, BUT I DID.

WHAT?!
YES, I THOUGHT WE WERE ROBBED.

SO, OF COURSE,

I DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING
AND REPORTED IT...

ON BOTH OUR BEHALVES.

AND SINCE YOU
RATHER CARELESSLY

RENTED THE STORAGE UNIT
UNDER YOUR OWN NAME,

I THINK THE POLICE WILL FIND ME
COMPLETELY BLAMELESS.

YOU WOULD ACTUALLY
SEND YOUR WIFE TO PRISON?

MY WIFE? NO.

MY EX-WIFE? YOU BET.

BUT IT WON'T COME TO THAT,
DARLING.

I KNOW WE CAN GET BACK
TO WHAT WE BOTH ONCE HAD.

THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

AND SURE WE'VE HAD
OUR CHALLENGES--

YOUR PENCHANT FOR EMASCULATION,
MY KLEPTOMANIA.

BUT EVERY MARRIAGE
HAS ITS EBB AND FLOW.

ORSON, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

(continues chopping)

(whispers) I DON'T LOVE YOU.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

I HAVE ENOUGH LOVE
FOR THE BOTH OF US.

(crunch)

MMM! NOT BLAND ANYMORE.

(exhales deeply)

THE GIRLS ARE SACKED OUT.
CAN WE TALK NOW?

WHAT'S THERE TO TALK ABOUT?

YOU WON'T EVEN LET THE GIRLS
GET A GOLDEN RETRIEVER,

AND NOW YOU WANNA
TAKE IN A TEENAGER?
IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT I WANT.

IT'S ABOUT
DOING THE RIGHT THING.

THIS IS WHAT FAMILY DOES
FOR EACH OTHER.
WELL, LUCKILY,
IT'S A BIG FAMILY.

LET HER GO LIVE
WITH NINA AND LUIS.
THEY HAVE EIGHT KIDS.

SO WHAT'S ONE MORE?

THEY'LL NEVER KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.
YOU'RE BEING SELFISH.

NO, I'M THINKING ABOUT
OUR CHILDREN. THEY'RE SO HAPPY.

TAKING IN A KID WE DON'T
EVEN KNOW? THAT'S A HUGE RISK.

YEAH, IT'S THE SAME RISK

MY AUNT CONNIE TOOK
FOR ME AND MY MOTHER.

WHEN MY FATHER LEFT, MAMá AND I
HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN.

AUNT CONNIE
OPENED HER HOME TO US.

SHE SAVED US FROM THE STREETS.
YEAH, AND KNOWING AUNT CONNIE,

SHE'S WAITED ALL THESE YEARS
TO CALL THAT FAVOR IN.

SHE'S PROBABLY DYING
ON PURPOSE.

BABE, WE ARE SO BLESSED.

THIS IS A CHANCE
FOR US TO GIVE BACK.

MAYBE GOD GAVE ME BACK MY SIGHT
AND ALL THIS MONEY

SO I COULD HELP MY FAMILY.

GABY, THINK ABOUT IT.

IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO US,

WOULDN'T YOU WANT SOMEONE
TO DO THIS FOR OUR TWO GIRLS?

(Tom laughs and shrieks)

OKAY, WHOA, WHOA, EASY.
YOU'RE A LITTLE DRUNK THERE.

THAT'S 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU,
LYNETTE!

I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.
HERE YOU GO.

AND I LOVE YOU, PRESTON.

I'M PORTER.

I COULD NEVER TELL
YOU TWO APART.

BUT YOU'RE MY FAVORITE.
(laughs)

LYNETTE!

HOW COME YOU LET ME DRINK
SO MANY MARGARITAS?

YEAH, AND WHY DID WE HAVE
TO STAY TILL CLOSING?

IT'S ALMOST 2:00.
WHO CARES WHAT TIME IT IS?

WE WERE CELEBRATING A BIG CHANGE
IN YOUR DAD'S LIFE.

WHOO-HOO!

HOO! HEY, SOMEONE CALLED.
(beep)

(man) Tom Scavo,
this is Mr. Cummings.

We met during
your tour of the campus.

Forgive me,

but I gave you the wrong date
for the admissions test.

It's tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.

(beep)

OH, CRAM!
I GOTTA CRAP FOR THAT TEST!

OOH, JEEZ.

(vibrating)

(beep)

THEY'RE ON TO YOU.

(sighs)

THOSE MESSAGES YOU SENT
TO MY RECEPTIONIST

DIDN'T FOOL ANYBODY.

THEY'VE IDENTIFIED MY BODY,

AND NOW THEY'RE TRYING
TO TRAP YOU.

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

THEY CAN TRACE
THOSE SIGNALS, DAVE.

THEY'RE GOING TO FIND YOU.

(grunts)

(clatter)

IT'S TOO LATE.

WHATEVER PLAN YOU HAD,

IT WENT TO HELL
WHEN YOU KILLED ME.

YOU SHOULD'VE
STAYED ON YOUR MEDS.

Y-YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M GETTING AWAY WITH THIS.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO?

I DON'T MEAN TO CRITICIZE,

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE
DOING THIS FOR US.

I AM.

I WANT JUSTICE
FOR OUR FAMILY.

THEN WHO CARES
IF YOU'RE CAUGHT?

WE MISS YOU, DAVE.

WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER.

SO...

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

SO I SHOULD JUST... (pants)
WALK OVER AND KILL M.J. NOW?

SURE. WHY NOT?

AND LET'S FACE IT, YOUR PLAN
TO TAKE THE KID TO SOME LAKE

AND PRETEND
HE ACCIDENTALLY DROWNED?

(singsongy) BORING.

(normal voice) HEY,
ISN'T IT BETTER THAN SUSAN KNOW

WHY HER SON HAD TO DIE?

I MEAN, THE WHOLE POINT
IS TO MAKE HER SUFFER.

RIGHT?

THAT'S TRUE.

AND THEN THE WHOLE WORLD
WILL FINALLY UNDERSTAND

WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH.

YEAH, THAT'S IT!
GOOD JOB.

ONE MORE JUST LIKE THAT.

OOH. (chuckles) HEY.
UM, CAN I TALK TO YOU A SEC?

YEAH. SURE.

I'M GONNA GET SOME JUICE.
YOU WANT ANYTHING?

UM, NO, THANKS.

SO, LOOK, UH...

I'M SORRY IF I WAS

A LITTLE UNDER-ENTHUSIASTIC
THE OTHER DAY

ABOUT YOU AND KATHERINE
GETTING MARRIED.

OH, WELL, I UNDERSTAND.

YOU JUST FOUND OUT
YOUR FIANCé WAS BEING DEPORTED.

THE TIMING KIND OF SUCKED.

YEAH. THAT AND, UH...

I DON'T KNOW. IT D-DID KIND OF
COME OUT OF NOWHERE.

WELL, WE HAVE BEEN
LIVING TOGETHER.

I KNOW.

BUT STILL... I MEAN,
IT HAPPENED SO FAST.

I JUST...

(sighs) I WANNA MAKE SURE
THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

SUSAN...

I KNOW. AND FEEL FREE
TO THROW ME OUT OF YOUR HOUSE

IF I'M OUT OF LINE...

BUT DO YOU LOVE HER?
(pouring)

(stops pouring)

WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.

YEAH.

I LOVE HER.

GOOD.

THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.

(sighs)

WELL, I HOPE THAT YOU WILL
BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

AND I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT
FOR YOU AND JACKSON.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU TWO AREN'T GETTING MARRIED?

OH, THE TRUTH IS, UM...

WELL, IT'S COMPLICATED.

HEY, SUSAN!

M.J. TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU,
ACTUALLY.

ME? (chuckles nervously)
WHAT ABOUT ME?

WELL...

I REALIZED THAT I NEVER
PROPERLY CONGRATULATED YOU

ON GETTING MARRIED.

REALLY?

REALLY.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

HEY, BABE.
HOW'D THE TEST GO?

IT'S AS THOUGH...

I DUG DOWN DEEP

AND I FOUND
A NEW LEVEL OF SUCK

THAT I NEVER KNEW
I HAD IN ME.

I'M SURE
IT WASN'T THAT BAD.

LYNETTE...

I PUKED TEQUILA
IN THE PARKING LOT,

I-I PASSED OUT TWICE
IN THE ESSAY SECTION,

AND I GIGGLED UNCONTROLLABLY
WHEN I READ THE WORD "URANUS."

ADD TO THAT THAT I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT I SPELLED "SCAVO" WRONG,

AND IT IS A SAFE BET
THAT I WILL NOT BE

BROADENING MY HORIZONS
ANYTIME SOON.

HEY.

DON'T SWEAT IT.

YOU WANTED TO LEARN CHINESE...
(kisses)

MM, WE'LL GET YOU A BOOK.

MANDARIN IS
A VERY COMPLICATED LANGUAGE.
(beeping)

YOU CAN'T GET THE KIND
OF FLUENCY YOU NEED

FOR THE PROFESSIONAL MARKETPLACE
FROM A BOOK.

MARKETPLACE?

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.

CHINA IS ONE OF THE WORLD'S
FASTEST GROWING ECONOMIES.

THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR SOMEONE
WITH MY MARKETING EXPERIENCE

WHO CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE
ARE AMAZING.

I MEAN, WE'RE TALKING
BEAUCOUP BUCKS.

I COULD'VE
TOTALLY REINVENTED MYSELF.

THAT'S...

A BRILLIANT PLAN.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME THIS?

WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

IT'S OVER.

(sighs)

I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN.

WOW.

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED
THIS WEEKEND?

YEAH. THAT'S THE GOOD THING
ABOUT VEGAS.

DOESN'T REQUIRE ANY PLANNING.
(gasps) OH, MY GOSH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US?

YOU COULD BE
MY MAID OF HONOR.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS,
ISN'T IT?

IT'S SWEET, BUT...

YEAH, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
(laughs)

AND BESIDES, UM,

M.J. AND I HAVE BIG PLANS
THIS WEEKEND.

(bird cawing)

(front door opens and closes)

HEY, DAVE.

GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

IS YOUR FRIEND'S BOAT
STILL AVAILABLE THIS WEEKEND?

WHAT?

WELL, I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHAT
YOU SAID, AND YOU WERE RIGHT.

IT REALLY WOULD DO ME GOOD TO
GET OUT OF HERE FOR A FEW DAYS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT WOULD DO US ALL SOME GOOD.
(chuckles nervously)

CARLOS!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME,

KNOWING THAT YOU AND GABY

WILL BE LOOKING AFTER
MY BEAUTIFUL ANA.

I CAN FINALLY BE AT PEACE.

OHH.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

AND TELL GABY
I SAID THANK YOU.

(chuckles) BYE.

SO... ARE YOU GONNA TELL HIM
THE TRUTH ABOUT ANA?

OH, THEY'LL FIND OUT
SOON ENOUGH.

(clink)

(telephone rings)

HELLO?

(woman) Hi. I'm trying
to reach Roberta Simmonds.

SPEAKING, BUT BARELY.
WHO'S THIS?

This is Claire Cormier,

DR. HELLER'S RECEPTIONIST.

DO YOU REMEMBER ME?

YEAH, SURE.

BUT I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY BREAKFAST,

SO IF YOU'D CALL ME BACK
AROUND 11:00...
I just thought
you might wanna know

THE POLICE STOPPED BY.

THEY TOLD ME
THAT DR. HELLER IS DEAD.

YEAH, GO ON. I'M LISTENING.

DR. HELLER DIED IN A FIRE
AT THE WHITE HORSE?

AND APPARENTLY, THERE WAS
NO SMOKE IN HIS LUNGS.

WHICH MEANS HE WAS DEAD
BEFORE THE FIRE STARTED.

MY GUESS?

THE PERSON HE WAS COMING TO SEE
IS THE PERSON WHO KILLED HIM.

DAVE.

DAVE.

ROBERTA, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
GO TO THE POLICE.

AND TELL 'EM WHAT?
WELL, WE KNOW DR. HELLER WAS
A CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGIST,

AND WE'RE PRETTY SURE
DAVE WAS HIS PATIENT.

I'D FEEL BETTER
IF WE HAD PROOF.

I'D FEEL BETTER IF I HAD
A FUNCTIONING LIVER,

BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PLAY
THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT.

IF WE WALK INTO THE POLICE
WITH A HALF-COCKED STORY,

THEY'RE GONNA LAUGH US
OUT OF THE STATION.

I DON'T KNOW HOW,

BUT WE--WE GOTTA GIVE 'EM
SOMETHING MORE.

DIDN'T YOU TELL ME DAVE
ONCE BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE?

YEAH. WHY?

MAYBE IT'S TIME
WE RETURNED THE FAVOR.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU MISSED
YOUR APPOINTMENT ON MONDAY,

WE THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU SKIPPED OUT ON US.

YEAH, WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE,
I WAS OTHERWISE DETAINED.

YOU KNOW THIS GUY?

NO.

WHO IS HE?

SAMUEL HELLER--THE JOHN DOE
WHO DIED IN THE CLUB FIRE.

YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM WHEN
YOU WERE IN THAT BACK HALLWAY?

NO.

WELL,
LIKE I TOLD YOU THAT NIGHT,

I WAS ONLY BACK THERE
FOR A MINUTE.

AND YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY?

AW, JEEZ,
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

NO. I WAS LOOKING
FOR THE MEN'S ROOM.

I RAN INTO DAVE WILLIAMS.

HE WAS COMING OUT
OF THE STORAGE ROOM--

WAIT. YOU SAW DAVE WILLIAMS
COMING OUT OF THE STORAGE ROOM?

YEAH.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT
BEFORE?

I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE BATHROOM,

BUT DAVE POINTED ME
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

AND RIGHT AFTER THAT,
SOMEBODY LOCKED YOU IN.

COME ON. YOU DON'T THINK
DAVE DID THAT.

I DON'T KNOW.
HE HAVE ANY REASON TO HARM YOU?

NO.

WE'RE FRIENDS.

HE'S ONE OF THE NICEST GUYS
I'VE EVER MET.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME,
MR. BRADDOCK.

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T
BE MORE HELP.

HOW MANY TIMES WE TALK
TO THIS WILLIAMS GUY?
(door closes)

OH, I DON'T KNOW. FOUR?

HE EVER MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT
BEING IN THAT STORAGE ROOM?

HE DID NOT.

AND I'M GONNA CATCH A FISH
THIS BIG.

WELL, IF YOU DO,
WE'RE GONNA CLEAN IT

AND SERVE IT UP FOR DINNER.
AND IF I DON'T,
CAN WE EAT THE WORMS?

(laughs)
(laughs) JUST MAKE SURE
HE CATCHES A FISH.

HEY, MIKE,
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

IT'S A VIDEO FROM OUR BAND,
ONE OF OUR EARLY REHEARSALS.

MAN, DO I EVEN WANT
TO SEE THIS?

YEAH. WE WEREN'T HALF BAD.

DON'T WATCH IT TILL YOU GET BACK
FROM YOUR HONEYMOON. OKAY?

WILL DO. THANKS.

OKAY. (sighs)

(sighs)
BYE, MIKE.

HAVE A NICE WEDDING.

THANKS.

(chuckles)

(sighs)

(click, door closes)

YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY BOY,
OKAY?

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.

(starts engine)

(shifts gears)