All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S05E22.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:02,133 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:04,135 HEY, DAVE, IS THAT THE BATHROOM? 3 00:00:04,135 --> 00:00:06,137 NO. I THINK THAT'S IT THERE. 4 00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:08,039 OH, OKAY. THANKS. 5 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:12,113 DAVE TRIED TO ELIMINATE A WITNESS TO MURDER. 6 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,144 HEY! UHH! 7 00:00:13,144 --> 00:00:15,686 BUT JACKSON SURVIVED... 8 00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:18,749 I BOUGHT M.J. A FISHING POLE. WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THIS WEEKEND. 9 00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:21,021 I'M KIND OF GETTING MARRIED. WHAT? 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,194 I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU OUT HERE. JACKSON. 11 00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,356 FORCING HIM TO CHANGE HIS PLANS. 12 00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:27,098 I'M A MIDDLE-AGED GUY... 13 00:00:27,098 --> 00:00:30,461 TOM WAS SEARCHING. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE. 14 00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:33,104 WE'RE RICH AGAIN! HALLELUJAH! 15 00:00:33,104 --> 00:00:35,166 GABY'S LIFE RETURNED TO NORMAL. 16 00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,768 WE'RE GONNA BE US AGAIN-- THE OLD CARLOS AND GABY. 17 00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:40,111 I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU WALK AWAY FROM THIS MARRIAGE 18 00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:42,673 WITH YOUR ASSETS INTACT. NOW TO ACCOMPLISH THIS... 19 00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:45,516 AND BREE AGREED TO PROTECT WHAT SHE FELT WAS HERS. 20 00:00:45,516 --> 00:00:48,519 I'M CAPABLE OF DOING WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE. 21 00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:01,832 (Mary Alice) THE LAWYER ARRIVED JUST AFTER SUNDOWN. 22 00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:07,268 HE CHECKED TO MAKE SURE NO ONE WAS WATCHING, 23 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,771 THEN HE HURRIED TO THE FRONT DOOR... 24 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,145 WHERE HIS CLIENT WAS WAITING. 25 00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:19,850 AS SHE POURED HIM THE SCOTCH HE REQUESTED, 26 00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:21,812 THE CLIENT BEGAN TO WONDER 27 00:01:21,812 --> 00:01:24,715 EXACTLY HOW HE PLANNED TO HIDE HER ASSETS 28 00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:27,788 FROM THE HUSBAND SHE WAS DIVORCING. 29 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:32,723 (speaking inaudibly) THE LAWYER SUGGESTED SOME CREATIVE ACCOUNTING. 30 00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:35,426 HIS CLIENT AGREED. 31 00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:40,100 (speaking inaudibly) HE SUGGEST A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT. 32 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,173 SHE AGREED. 33 00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:45,406 (speaking inaudibly) HE SUGGESTED A SECOND SET OF BOOKS. 34 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,409 SHE AGREED. 35 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:54,785 AND THEN THE LAWYER LOOKED DEEP INTO HIS CLIENT'S EYES 36 00:01:54,785 --> 00:01:58,249 AND MADE ONE FINAL SUGGESTION... (speaking inaudibly) 37 00:01:58,249 --> 00:02:02,493 THAT SHE WAS COMPLETELY UNPREPARED FOR. 38 00:02:02,493 --> 00:02:05,196 YOU WANT ME TO ROB MY OWN HOUSE?! 39 00:02:05,196 --> 00:02:08,799 NOT EXACTLY. I WAS THINKING WE'D HIRE MY FRIEND TONY TO DO IT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. 40 00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:11,302 I AM ALL UP FOR A LITTLE CREATIVE ACCOUNTING 41 00:02:11,302 --> 00:02:13,264 AND SOME SECRET BANK ACCOUNTS, 42 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,536 BUT HIRING SOME THUG TO STAGE A BREAK-IN? 43 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,538 IT'S A COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE, BABE. 44 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,540 ORSON'S GOING TO GET HALF OF EVERYTHING, 45 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,142 INCLUDING YOUR JEWELRY, YOUR ARTWORK, YOUR ANTIQUES. 46 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,345 WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER TO JUST HAVE HIM KILLED? 47 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,347 AS YOUR LAWYER, I CAN'T CONDONE THAT. 48 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,180 THAT SAID, I HAVE A COUSIN-- I WAS KIDDING! 49 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:32,152 SO WAS I. LOOSEN UP, FRECKLES. 50 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,154 WELL, I JUST NEVER KNOW WITH YOU. 51 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,156 AND DON'T CALL ME "FRECKLES." 52 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,158 LOOK, IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH TONY, 53 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160 WHY DON'T WE DO THE JOB OURSELVES? 54 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,162 I BET YOU'D LOOK HOT IN A SKI MASK. 55 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,636 YOU ARE REPUGNANT, AND THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. 56 00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:48,639 FINE, BUT SINCE I'M CHARGING YOU FOR THE FULL HOUR, 57 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,473 LET ME MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. SIT DOWN AND CLOSE YOUR EYES. WHAT? NO! 58 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,846 JUST HUMOR ME. COME ON. 59 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:01,682 NOW I WANT YOU TO PICTURE ORSON AFTER THE DIVORCE. 60 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:06,186 HE OWNS HALF OF YOUR BUSINESS, HALF OF YOUR ASSETS. 61 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,488 YOU SEE IT? 62 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,320 GO ON. 63 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,564 NOW I WANT YOU TO PICTURE ORSON DATING SOME YOUNG BIMBO. 64 00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:15,566 AND DON'T KID YOURSELF. 65 00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,968 HE WILL GET A BIMBO. 66 00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:20,471 NOW PICTURE YOUR FAVORITE STRAND OF PEARLS 67 00:03:20,471 --> 00:03:24,405 DANGLING IN THE 24-YEAR-OLD CLEAVAGE OF SAID BIMBO 68 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,876 WHILE SHE IS USING 69 00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:28,879 YOUR FIRST EDITION ROBERT FROST AS A COASTER... (gasps) 70 00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:32,343 AND YOUR 19th CENTURY FRENCH CRYSTAL VASE 71 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,844 AS AN ASHTRAY. 72 00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:36,216 IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT... 73 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,990 I WILL LEAVE. 74 00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:41,692 AND WITH THAT, 75 00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:44,525 THE CLIENT OFFERED A SUGGESTION OF HER OWN... 76 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,527 WE SHOULD PROBABLY BREAK A WINDOW 77 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,529 TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE REAL. 78 00:03:50,361 --> 00:04:03,274 AND THE LAWYER AGREED. 79 00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:05,245 MASKS-- 80 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,879 YOU CAN FIND THEM IN ANY HOME. 81 00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:13,354 SOME ARE USED ONCE A YEAR TO SCARE THE NEIGHBORS... 82 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,855 (spraying) 83 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:19,029 SOME ARE NEEDED FOR THE OCCASIONAL CHORE. 84 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:24,695 SOME ARE APPLIED EVERY OTHER THURSDAY. 85 00:04:24,695 --> 00:04:27,498 THEN THERE'S THE KIND OF MASK 86 00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:30,270 SOME MEN WEAR EVERY DAY. 87 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,043 IT'S A FRIENDLY SMILE 88 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:37,408 DESIGNED TO HIDE THE MOST WICKED OF INTENTIONS. 89 00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,680 HEY, M.J., IS YOUR MOM HOME? 90 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,752 SHE'S INSIDE TALKING TO JACKSON. 91 00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,056 REALLY? 92 00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:49,990 SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JACKSON? 93 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,824 I LIKE HIM. HE BUYS ME COMIC BOOKS. 94 00:04:53,824 --> 00:04:56,567 YEAH, HE'S A GOOD GUY. 95 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,569 HE WAS VERY BRAVE THAT NIGHT 96 00:04:58,569 --> 00:05:00,971 DURING THAT FIRE AT THE NIGHTCLUB. 97 00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:03,474 DOES HE EVER TALK ABOUT THAT FIRE... 98 00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:06,036 OR ANYBODY HE SAW THAT NIGHT? 99 00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:09,880 HAVE THE POLICE STOPPED BY TO ASK HIM ANY QUESTIONS? 100 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:14,915 IF THEY DO, WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW? 101 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,086 WHY? 102 00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:17,918 WELL... 103 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,422 I WANNA MAKE SURE THEY'RE BEING NICE TO OUR FRIEND JACKSON, 104 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,355 'CAUSE HE'S SUCH A GOOD GUY. 105 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:34,605 IT IS SUCH A STUNNING PIECE. 106 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:38,008 IT'S SIMPLE AND ELEGANT. DON'T YOU THINK? 107 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,942 I MEAN, I KNOW IT WAS EXPENSIVE, 108 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,345 BUT YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE TAG ON BEAUTY. AM I RIGHT? 109 00:05:47,017 --> 00:05:49,720 SO WHEN DADDY FINDS OUT HOW MUCH I SPENT, 110 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,023 WOULD IT BE OKAY IF I USED YOU AS A HUMAN SHIELD? 111 00:05:54,785 --> 00:05:58,489 YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY GET YOU TESTED. 112 00:05:58,489 --> 00:06:00,731 (front door opens and closes) 113 00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,733 MOM? 114 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,865 HEY! DID YOU HAVE A FUN PLAYDATE WITH HEATHER? 115 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,367 SHE'S GOT A CANOPY BED. I WANT ONE. 116 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,671 WE JUST BOUGHT YOU A BED. IT'S NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD. 117 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:14,044 I DON'T LIKE IT ANYMORE. I WANNA SLEEP UNDER A CANOPY. 118 00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:18,449 THEN GO MOVE IN WITH HEATHER, 'CAUSE I'M NOT GETTING YOU ONE. 119 00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:20,511 WHY NOT? WE'RE RICH. 120 00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:23,514 WHO TOLD YOU THAT? I HEARD YOU TELLING AUNT BREE, 121 00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:26,717 SINCE DADDY GOT HIS NEW JOB, WE'RE ROLLING IN MONEY. 122 00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:28,719 WELL, MOMMY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. 123 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:32,062 JUST, WHEN AUNT BREE STARTED BRAGGING ABOUT HER PRADA BAG, 124 00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:35,125 MOMMY KIND OF LOST IT. 125 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:36,997 WHATEVER. 126 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,970 I WANT A CANOPY, AND YOU GOTTA GET ME ONE. 127 00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:42,633 I DON'T HAVE TO GET YOU ANYTHING. 128 00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:44,635 AND STOP ACTING LIKE A SPOILED BRAT. 129 00:06:44,635 --> 00:06:47,638 I AM NOT SPENDING A FORTUNE ON A BED YOU DON'T NEED. 130 00:06:47,638 --> 00:06:50,911 OH, BUT YOU CAN SPEND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON A STUPID VASE? 131 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,544 THAT VASE IS NOT STUPID. 132 00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:55,486 IS THAT VASE STUPID? 133 00:06:57,588 --> 00:07:00,951 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. 134 00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,454 GO TO YOUR ROOM! 135 00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:04,955 (sighs) YOU, TOO, BOBBLEHEAD. 136 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,500 OKAY, MY CLOTHES ARE IN THE CLOSET. 137 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,062 I'M GOING TO PUT MY TOOTHBRUSH IN THE BATHROOM. 138 00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:14,765 (chuckles) OH, JUST LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP, 139 00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:17,968 AND THE IMMIGRATION PEOPLE WILL TOTALLY THINK WE'RE MARRIED. 140 00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:20,971 YEAH, I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS. 141 00:07:20,971 --> 00:07:25,115 ACTUALLY, I DID THINK OF ONE WAY YOU COULD REPAY ME. 142 00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:27,077 MMM. YOU GOT IT. 143 00:07:27,077 --> 00:07:29,580 UH, NO. (chuckles) NOT LIKE THAT. 144 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,853 NO, I WAS THINKING THAT AFTER OUR QUICKIE COURTHOUSE CEREMONY, 145 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,626 YOU COULD BUY ME A CAKE. 146 00:07:35,626 --> 00:07:37,087 I LOVE WEDDING CAKE. 147 00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:40,591 IT'S THE ONE PART OF MARRIAGE THAT NEVER LETS YOU DOWN. 148 00:07:40,591 --> 00:07:42,593 WELL, I CAN DO YOU BETTER THAN THAT. 149 00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:45,195 HOW ABOUT I THROW US A BIG ENGAGEMENT PARTY? 150 00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:46,967 (chuckles) WHAT? 151 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,969 WELL, WE'RE NOT HAVING A WEDDING, 152 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,141 AND WE'RE GONNA NEED PICTURES OF SOMETHING 153 00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:53,143 TO PUT IN OUR PHOTO ALBUM AS EVIDENCE. 154 00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:55,646 OKAY. YEAH, I GUESS THAT COULD BE FUN. 155 00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:58,148 WHILE OUR FRIENDS ARE TOASTING TO OUR EVERLASTING HAPPINESS, 156 00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,981 WE CAN YELL, "SURPRISE! IT'S ALL A SHAM! 157 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,983 THANKS FOR THE CROCK-POT!" (laughs) 158 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,916 NO, NO, NO. WE CAN'T TELL ANYBODY THIS IS A FAKE. 159 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:09,089 THE WHOLE THING COULD BLOW UP. CAN'T I AT LEAST TELL THE GIRLS? 160 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,092 NO WAY. I MEAN, THEY DON'T CALL HER "GABBY" FOR NOTHING. 161 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,525 WOW. 162 00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:17,868 AH, FAKE MARRIAGES-- THEY'RE COMPLICATED. 163 00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:20,000 I-I-I KNOW I'M ASKING A LOT, SUSAN. 164 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,704 NO, NO. IT'S OKAY. I WANNA DO THIS. 165 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,076 TRUTH IS... 166 00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:28,278 I MISS YOU, 167 00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:31,281 AND THE HOUSE HAS BEEN KINDA LONELY SINCE YOU LEFT. 168 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:34,044 WELL, I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. 169 00:08:34,044 --> 00:08:36,516 NOT THAT LONELY. 170 00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:39,550 (exhales deeply) 171 00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:41,051 (door closes) 172 00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:46,997 (drops trash bag) 173 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,934 (window whirs) 174 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,936 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THINKING. 175 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,669 WELL, THINK INSIDE. I MADE PORKCHOPS. 176 00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:01,211 AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME ABOUT MY JOB INTERVIEW? 177 00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,844 OH, RIGHT. HOW'D THAT GO? 178 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,847 OKAY... UNTIL THE 30-YEAR-OLD WHO WAS INTERVIEWING ME ASKED ME 179 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,651 IF I'D EVER USED TWITTERING AS PART OF A MARKETING CAMPAIGN. 180 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,783 AND WHAT'D YOU SAY? 181 00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,124 NOTHING... 182 00:09:14,124 --> 00:09:17,057 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT "TWITTERING" IS. 183 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,060 IT'S A SOCIAL NETWORKING TOOL WHERE YOU SEND INSTANT UPDATES 184 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,963 TO ANYBODY WHO SIGNS UP FOR THEM. 185 00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:27,768 SO... YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS, AND YET YOU KEPT IT FROM ME? 186 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,070 (chuckles) I DIDN'T KEEP IT FROM YOU. 187 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,603 IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE TECH THINGS 188 00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,805 THAT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT. 189 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,777 IT'S FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. 190 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,681 AND I AM A DINOSAUR MARCHING INTO THE TAR PIT. 191 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,983 I DIDN'T SAY THAT. (sighs) 192 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,986 YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET A WHOLE LOT OF SYMPATHY FROM ME. 193 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,988 I JUST WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING. REMEMBER? 194 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,320 YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HOW BAD IT WAS. 195 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,793 THAT'S ANOTHER THING YOU KEPT FROM ME. 196 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,796 50 GUYS SHOWED UP FOR THAT ONE JOB, 197 00:09:55,796 --> 00:10:00,030 AND I WAS 10 YEARS OLDER THAN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF 'EM. 198 00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:02,773 I COULD HEAR 'EM TWITTERING AS I LEFT THE ROOM. 199 00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:05,876 I THINK YOU MEAN "TITTERING." 200 00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:09,079 SORRY. PLEASE, DON'T HIT ME. 201 00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:12,983 I HEARD A DOOR SLAM SHUT TODAY, LYNETTE. 202 00:10:12,983 --> 00:10:16,887 IT'S OFFICIAL. MY TIME HAS PASSED. 203 00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:19,750 I AM NO LONGER RELEVANT. 204 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:22,052 OH, FOR GOD SAKES, KNOCK IT OFF! 205 00:10:22,052 --> 00:10:24,755 I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF. 206 00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:27,157 YOU ARE TOM SCAVO, DAMN IT! 207 00:10:27,157 --> 00:10:29,059 AND? 208 00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:35,335 SORRY. I GOT NOTHING ELSE. COME INSIDE AND EAT YOUR PORK. 209 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:49,079 (indistinct conversations) 210 00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:52,783 THIS PLACE SMELLS FUNNY. I DON'T WANNA BE HERE. 211 00:10:52,783 --> 00:10:54,785 WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT 212 00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:57,157 BEFORE YOU STARTED ACTING LIKE SUCH A DIVA. NOW SIT DOWN. 213 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,359 FATHER CROWLEY! 214 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,792 THIS IS A SURPRISE. (chuckles) 215 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,034 WHAT BRINGS YOU TO OUR SOUP KITCHEN? 216 00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:06,737 WELL, I WANT JUANITA TO WORK WITH THE POOR. 217 00:11:06,737 --> 00:11:09,039 I WANT TO TEACH HER TO BE GRATEFUL 218 00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:12,042 FOR HOW GOOD SHE HAS IT. OH, WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS USE A HAND. 219 00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:13,704 AND FOUR HANDS? WELL, THAT'S A BLESSING. 220 00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:16,206 (chuckles) OH, ME? NO, NO. NOT ME. 221 00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:18,108 I'M NOT REALLY DRESSED FOR LADLING, 222 00:11:18,108 --> 00:11:20,811 BUT, UM, I COULD STAND BY THE CONDIMENT BAR 223 00:11:20,811 --> 00:11:23,183 AND SPRITZ PEOPLE WITH MY CHANEL. 224 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:28,989 AND YOU SAY JUANITA IS A LITTLE UNGRATEFUL? HMM. 225 00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,697 FRAN SCHULMAN? 226 00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:40,200 FRAN. HUH? 227 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,402 IT'S GABRIELLE SOLIS FROM THE TENNIS CLUB. 228 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,735 OH, OF COURSE. 229 00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:46,206 WOW, IT'S BEEN YEARS! 230 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:50,210 THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS AT THAT CHARITY FASHION SHOW. 231 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,082 WASN'T THAT FUN? YES. YES, IT WAS. 232 00:11:52,082 --> 00:11:54,244 SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? 233 00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:56,917 NOT EXACTLY. ME EITHER. 234 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,919 MY DAUGHTER'S GOTTEN SO SNOOTY, 235 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,992 I AM FORCING HER TO SPEND TIME WITH THE GREAT UNWASHED. 236 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,995 YOU WANNA DITCH THIS PLACE FOR A CAPPUCCINO? 237 00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:09,159 UM, ACTUALLY, I'M HERE TO EAT. 238 00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:12,362 (laughing) 239 00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:16,066 OH! 240 00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:22,042 IT'S SUSAN. 241 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,075 GREAT. WE DON'T SEE ENOUGH OF HER. 242 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:27,878 AND SHE'S NOT ALONE. 243 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:31,121 HEY, JACKSON. LONG TIME NO SEE. WHAT'S GOING ON? 244 00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:34,885 UM... WE SORT OF HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. 245 00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,128 WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. 246 00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:43,864 OH, MY GOD! 247 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,236 THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS! 248 00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:47,367 (chuckles) OH! 249 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,800 SO... WHEN'S THE DATE? 250 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,171 MONDAY. 251 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,444 WHOA. W-- (chuckles) WELL, THAT'S KIND OF SUDDEN. 252 00:12:54,444 --> 00:12:57,147 (chuckles) WELL, WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. 253 00:12:57,147 --> 00:13:00,150 WHY WAIT? (laughs) AND WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE ENGAGEMENT PARTY ON FRIDAY, 254 00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,082 AND YOU'RE BOTH INVITED. 255 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,084 A PARTY? COUNT US IN. 256 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,887 I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER REASON TO... CELEBRATE. (laughs) 257 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,319 HAVE YOU TOLD M.J. YET? 258 00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:11,962 YEAH. HE WAS ON BOARD WHEN HE FOUND OUT THERE WAS CAKE. 259 00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,293 (chuckles) OKAY. 260 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:17,167 JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THIS ISN'T ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST FOR HIM. 261 00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:20,170 YOU KNOW KIDS. THEY NEED A LITTLE TIME TO ADJUST. 262 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,202 OH, KIDS ARE RESILIENT. 263 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,875 HE'LL BE FINE. I'M SO EXCITED! 264 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,136 (chuckles) 265 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,441 WELL, UH, WE WANTED YOU TWO TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW, 266 00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:34,044 AND WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING. 267 00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:36,216 GOT A FEW MORE NEIGHBORS TO SHOCK. 268 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,919 OH, WELL, WE ARE JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU. 269 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,391 YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS. 270 00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:43,193 (chuckles) 271 00:13:45,455 --> 00:13:46,997 (chuckles) 272 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:55,235 NOW IF WE'RE GOING WITH THE DAMASK FOR THE SETTEE, 273 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:59,039 THEN I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT WE DO THE COUCH IN THE CHENILLE. 274 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,941 MM-HMM, MM-HMM. 275 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,974 THE ONLY WORD I UNDERSTOOD THERE WAS "COUCH." 276 00:14:03,974 --> 00:14:05,976 I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM LATER. 277 00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:07,978 GOOD, BECAUSE THEY'RE ONLY GOING TO HOLD THIS FABRIC 278 00:14:07,978 --> 00:14:10,020 FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. 279 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,022 WELL, I AM OFF. 280 00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:15,125 OHH. ISN'T THAT VASE DIVINE? 281 00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,127 I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT. 282 00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:18,188 (chuckles) 283 00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:21,861 I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST TRYING OUT THE VASE. 284 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,235 I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM LATER. OKAY. 285 00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:27,497 (Gabrielle) MM-HMM. THANK YOU. 286 00:14:27,497 --> 00:14:30,170 (door opens and closes) 287 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,172 (lowered voice) CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? 288 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,444 SEVEN YEARS AGO, EVELYN DID FRAN'S HOUSE. 289 00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:36,406 NOW? NO HOUSE. 290 00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:39,509 THAT'S CRAZY. YOU ASK FRAN WHAT HAPPENED? 291 00:14:39,509 --> 00:14:41,881 NO! I DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS HER. 292 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,184 YOU MET HER IN LINE FOR FREE SOUP. 293 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,886 HOW MUCH MORE EMBARRASSED COULD SHE GET? 294 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,119 REMEMBER THAT DINNER PARTY SHE GAVE? 295 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,591 SHE HAD 20 PLACE SETTINGS OF TIFFANY CHINA. 296 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:55,265 HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN TO SOMEONE WHO HAS TIFFANY CHINA? 297 00:14:55,265 --> 00:14:58,128 THIS IS $200 A YARD. 298 00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:01,231 TELL FRAN TO SAVE US A PLACE IN LINE. 299 00:15:01,231 --> 00:15:03,203 I BET I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 300 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,075 SHE DRANK IT AWAY. 301 00:15:05,075 --> 00:15:07,077 THAT ONE NEW YEAR'S EVE 302 00:15:07,077 --> 00:15:09,940 WHERE SHE GOT SO PLOWED SHE FELL IN THE KOI POND... 303 00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:12,642 WHERE SHE LANDED ON YOU, DRUNKY SUE. 304 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,117 EVERYBODY WAS HAMMERED AT THAT PARTY. 305 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,549 WELL, THEN IT MUST'VE BEEN A GAMBLING PROBLEM. 306 00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:22,252 BASED ON WHAT? 307 00:15:22,252 --> 00:15:25,195 SHE NEVER MISSED BINGO NIGHT AT IMMACULATE HEART... 308 00:15:25,195 --> 00:15:28,058 AND SHE WAS LUTHERAN. 309 00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:30,700 (chuckles) YOU REALLY THINK SHE BINGO'ED HER HOUSE AWAY? 310 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,633 UH, I DON'T KNOW. THERE HAS TO BE SOME REASON. 311 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,136 YOU DON'T FALL THAT FAR THAT FAST 312 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,438 WITHOUT MAKING SOME REALLY STUPID CHOICES. 313 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,640 WHY YOU GETTIN' SO ANGRY? 314 00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,716 (whispers) IT WAS TIFFANY CHINA, CARLOS. 315 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,689 (laughter, indistinct conversations) 316 00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:02,993 AHA! THERE'S THE MAN THAT RUINED MY FISHING TRIP. 317 00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:05,135 SORRY ABOUT THAT, DAVE. OH, NO WORRIES. 318 00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:08,438 HEY, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND SUSAN. CONGRATULATIONS. 319 00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,140 THANKS. 320 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,142 SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? 321 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,144 WE HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO TALK SINCE... 322 00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:16,276 I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY THE FIRE. 323 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,209 UH, YEAH. YOU WERE THE BIG HERO. 324 00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:23,183 I WAS THE DOOFUS THAT GOT STUCK IN THE MEN'S ROOM. OH, THAT WAS A HELL OF A NIGHT. 325 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,455 SURE WOULD LIKE TO FORGET THAT. YEAH, ME, TOO. 326 00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:28,458 UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO GO DOWN AND TALK TO THE COPS ON TUESDAY. REALLY? 327 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,461 YEAH. I WENT DOWN TO CITY HALL TO GET MY MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE, 328 00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:34,424 AND I RAN INTO ONE OF THE DETECTIVES FROM THAT NIGHT, 329 00:16:34,424 --> 00:16:36,466 AND APPARENTLY, THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME. 330 00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:39,499 SO NOW I GET TO GO DOWN THERE THE DAY AFTER MY WEDDING. 331 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,171 SOME HONEYMOON, HUH? 332 00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:44,304 WOW. THOSE GUYS REALLY KNOW HOW TO PUT A CRIMP IN YOUR DAY. 333 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,307 SO DID THEY SAY WHAT THEY WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT? 334 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,610 I GUESS THEY JUST WANNA KNOW IF I SAW ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS. 335 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,683 HMM. DID YOU? 336 00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:56,516 MM, NO. I MEAN, I WAS BACKSTAGE. 337 00:16:56,516 --> 00:17:00,350 I WAS HEADED TO THE MEN'S ROOM, AND I RAN INTO-- 338 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,292 (glasses shatter) OH! UGH! 339 00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:04,154 I AM SO SORRY. 340 00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:06,356 OH, NO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. 341 00:17:06,356 --> 00:17:08,728 I MEAN, THERE'S GOTTA BE A MOP AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE. 342 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,730 (chuckling) THAT'S NOT COMING OUT. 343 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,434 OH, BREE CAN GET RID OF THAT IN A JIFFY. 344 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,267 NOW WHERE DID SHE GO? 345 00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:19,269 (shatters) 346 00:17:19,269 --> 00:17:22,172 (dog barks in distance) 347 00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,813 (door rattling) 348 00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:26,216 (unlocks door) 349 00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:28,518 (whispers) OKAY. SHOWTIME. (whispers) WIPE YOUR FEET FIRST. 350 00:17:28,518 --> 00:17:30,520 I JUST HAD THE CARPETS CLEANED. 351 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,522 (normal voice) JUST BECAUSE WE'RE THIEVES 352 00:17:32,522 --> 00:17:35,225 DOESN'T MEAN WE NEED TO BE UNTIDY. 353 00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:42,792 (shoes scraping floor) 354 00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:49,699 (bells jingling) ARE WE STEALING THIS? 355 00:17:49,699 --> 00:17:52,071 UH, YES. AS I RECALL, IT'S QUITE VALUABLE. 356 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,644 WHAT ABOUT THIS? OH, GOD, NO. 357 00:17:54,644 --> 00:17:56,706 THAT'S ORSON'S DENTAL INNOVATOR OF THE YEAR AWARD. 358 00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:58,708 I'VE ALWAYS HATED THAT THING. 359 00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:00,650 (thud) OH, HERE. 360 00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,354 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 361 00:18:04,354 --> 00:18:07,517 I, UH, TOOK SOME OF MY SILVER OFF THE MANTLE, 362 00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:09,519 AND IT THREW OFF THE BALANCE. 363 00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:12,262 YEAH. 364 00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:15,165 YOU'RE RIGHT. LET ME HELP. 365 00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:17,167 (clattering) 366 00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,529 THERE. BALANCE RESTORED. 367 00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,771 WAS THAT NECESSARY? 368 00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:24,774 THIS PLACE HAS TO LOOK LIKE IT WAS RANSACKED BY ROBBERS, 369 00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:29,339 NOT SOMEONE'S PERSONAL SHOPPER. FINE! BUT DO YOU HAVE TO DO IT WITH SUCH RELISH? 370 00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:31,341 (metal clanks) 371 00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,344 HEY, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME TO JUST GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS. 372 00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:37,517 SPEAKING OF WHICH... ARE YOU NAILING ORSON LIKE WE DISCUSSED? 373 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,220 THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 374 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,892 WELL, WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T SUSPECT ANYTHING. 375 00:18:42,892 --> 00:18:45,795 I DO THE BARE MINIMUM. NO MORE, NO LESS. 376 00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:50,300 SO IS HE JUST MISSIONARY? 377 00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:54,234 HE SEEMS LIKE A STRICTLY MISSIONARY KIND OF GUY. 378 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,236 MUST YOU BE SO CRUDE? 379 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,638 MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SUCH A PRISS? 380 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,670 YOU FREAK OUT AT THE MENTION OF SEX. 381 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:02,672 YOU NEVER WANT TO MAKE A MESS. 382 00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:04,844 YOU SUPPRESS EVERY SPONTANEOUS URGE YOU EVER HAVE! 383 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,517 MAN, IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING BEING YOU! 384 00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,519 YES, BEING A LADY TAKES EFFORT. 385 00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,222 WELL, MAYBE GIVE IT A REST ONCE IN A WHILE. 386 00:19:12,222 --> 00:19:14,624 IT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU HOW GOOD IT FEELS. 387 00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:17,327 YOU WANNA BE A NEANDERTHAL, KARL? THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. 388 00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:19,629 I PREFER TO BEHAVE WITH CLASS AND DIGNITY. 389 00:19:19,629 --> 00:19:22,462 NOW MAY WE PLEASE FINISH ROBBING MY HOME? 390 00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:36,546 (clank) 391 00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:41,311 BILL BROWN! 392 00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,583 IT'S TOM SCAVO. 393 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,286 TOM! OH, MY GOD! 394 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,288 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 395 00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:51,291 WELL, JACKSON AND I ARE IN THE SAME SOCCER LEAGUE. 396 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,263 LYNETTE, THIS IS BILL BROWN. 397 00:19:53,263 --> 00:19:55,265 WE WERE ROOMMATES FRESHMEN YEAR IN COLLEGE. HI. 398 00:19:55,265 --> 00:19:56,696 REALLY? YEAH! 399 00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,730 GOD, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. YOU HAVEN'T AGED A DAY. HEY, RIGHT BACK AT YA. 400 00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:02,732 LIAR. YOU DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME. 401 00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:05,235 BACK UP A SECOND. YOU GUYS WERE CLASSMATES? YEAH. 402 00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:07,537 MEANING YOU WERE IN THE SAME CLASS AT THE SAME TIME? 403 00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:10,340 THAT'S WHAT CLASSMATES MEANS, LYNETTE. WE'RE THE SAME AGE. 404 00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,781 (chuckles) 405 00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:14,284 ACTUALLY, I THINK I'M SIX MONTHS OLDER. 406 00:20:14,284 --> 00:20:16,316 YOU'RE OLDER?! 407 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,788 I'M SORRY, I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE... 408 00:20:18,788 --> 00:20:20,320 (chuckles nervously) 409 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,552 THAT THEY'RE OUT OF STUFFED MUSHROOMS. 410 00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:24,294 EXCUSE ME. 411 00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:26,796 OKAY, MY WIFE'S ANNOYING, BUT SHE IS RIGHT. 412 00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:29,259 WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? WHAT IS IT? DIET? EXERCISE? 413 00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:31,761 YOU EATIN' A BOWL OF STEM CELLS EVERY MORNING? 414 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:34,264 (chuckles) COME ON. WHAT'S GOING ON, PETER PAN? 415 00:20:34,264 --> 00:20:36,536 OKAY... YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW? 416 00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,410 (indistinct conversations) 417 00:20:40,410 --> 00:20:41,541 HI! 418 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,013 THIS IS FOR YOU AND JACKSON. CONGRATULATIONS! (laughs) 419 00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:47,547 AW, HOW SWEET. OH! AND HEAVY. (laughs) SCORE. (chuckles) 420 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,549 YEAH, WELL, WE CAN AFFORD TO BE GENEROUS 421 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,482 NOW THAT I'M OFF THE HOOK FOR ALIMONY. 422 00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:54,354 YEAH. WHAT? 423 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,825 YOU'RE GETTING REMARRIED. 424 00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:57,987 SO I CAN STOP SENDING THAT CHECK EVERY MONTH. 425 00:20:57,987 --> 00:21:00,860 EVERYBODY GETS A GIFT. 426 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,862 RIGHT! SCORE FOR YOU! (chuckles) 427 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,865 (chuckles) UH, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? 428 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,397 YEAH? 429 00:21:07,397 --> 00:21:10,400 (laughter, indistinct conversations) 430 00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,873 OH, THANK YOU. 431 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,907 YOU GET ALIMONY? 432 00:21:17,907 --> 00:21:20,279 I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO PROUD TO TAKE ALIMONY. 433 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,282 I WAS TOO PROUD TO ADMIT IT. I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO TAKE IT. 434 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,415 I NEED THAT MONEY, JACKSON. 435 00:21:25,415 --> 00:21:27,917 WELL, I-I CAN TRY TO CHIP IN. "CHIP IN"? 436 00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:30,420 IT'S IS NOT A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR SHIRLEY IN ACCOUNTING. 437 00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:34,023 IT'S MORTGAGE AND FOOD AND INSURANCE. 438 00:21:34,023 --> 00:21:36,065 I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T MARRY YOU. 439 00:21:36,065 --> 00:21:38,698 NO, SUSAN, THEY'LL SEND ME BACK. 440 00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,370 IT'S CANADA, NOT IRAN. 441 00:21:40,370 --> 00:21:42,902 IT'S LIKE AMERICA WITH FREE HEALTH INSURANCE. 442 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,405 OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, 443 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:48,408 BUT I DEPEND ON THAT CHECK EVERY MONTH. AND I KNOW YOU DO. 444 00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:51,381 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I FINALLY FOUND A JOB THAT I LOVE, 445 00:21:51,381 --> 00:21:54,414 AND NOW I JUST GOTTA GIVE IT UP. 446 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,916 WELL, LOOK, MAYBE... I COULD TALK TO MIKE. 447 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,349 I COULD SEE IF WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT. 448 00:21:59,349 --> 00:22:00,750 YOU'D DO THAT? 449 00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:02,852 YEAH, I'LL TRY. 450 00:22:02,852 --> 00:22:05,355 DON'T THINK HE'S NOT GONNA WANT HIS GIFT BACK. 451 00:22:05,355 --> 00:22:07,357 AND IT'S REALLY HEAVY, TOO. 452 00:22:13,463 --> 00:22:14,704 SO... 453 00:22:14,704 --> 00:22:17,407 YOU THOUGHT MY FRIEND BILL LOOKED PRETTY FANTASTIC, HUH? 454 00:22:17,407 --> 00:22:19,409 OKAY, I WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD. 455 00:22:19,409 --> 00:22:21,411 YOU KNOW ME--TWO MARGARITAS, AND I NEED A MUZZLE. 456 00:22:21,411 --> 00:22:23,413 NO, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU. HE LOOKS REALLY YOUNG. 457 00:22:23,413 --> 00:22:25,415 I KNOW, RIGHT? HE MUST TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. 458 00:22:25,415 --> 00:22:27,417 ACTUALLY, HE TOLD ME HIS SECRET, 459 00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:29,118 AND I'M THINKING OF DOING THE SAME THING. 460 00:22:29,118 --> 00:22:33,052 NO, YOU'RE NOT HAVING PLASTIC SURGERY. 461 00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,424 IT'S MY FACE. 462 00:22:34,424 --> 00:22:36,556 UH, WE LIVE IN A COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE, 463 00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,558 SO HALF THAT FACE IS MINE. 464 00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,561 FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GET THE HALF BELOW THE NOSE. 465 00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:44,664 BUT THESE WRINKLES UP HERE? ALL GOING AWAY. 466 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,366 (sighs) TOM, MEN DON'T NEED PLASTIC SURGERY. 467 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,139 THEY LOOK BETTER AS THEY AGE. 468 00:22:50,139 --> 00:22:51,471 REALLY? 469 00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,473 BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T STOP TALKING 470 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:55,975 ABOUT HOW GREAT BILL LOOKED. "YOU GUYS WERE CLASSMATES? 471 00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:58,608 YOU MEAN THE SAME CLASS AT THE SAME TIME?" 472 00:22:58,608 --> 00:23:01,681 (laughs) OKAY, THAT'S A LOUSY IMPRESSION OF ME. 473 00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:05,384 LOOK, BILL SAID IT REALLY GAVE HIM A LEG UP IN JOB INTERVIEWS, 474 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,687 AND I COULD USE THAT RIGHT NOW. 475 00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:09,689 YOU DON'T NEED A FACE-LIFT. 476 00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,391 WHAT IF I WENT OUT AND GOT A BOOB JOB 477 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,824 AND CAME HOME WITH BIG, GIANT SIDESHOW BOOBS? 478 00:23:14,824 --> 00:23:16,826 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? 479 00:23:16,826 --> 00:23:19,629 I'D LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT SOMEHOW. 480 00:23:21,471 --> 00:23:24,734 YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS. WE CAN'T AFFORD IT! 481 00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:28,077 IT'S AN INVESTMENT IN OUR FUTURE. WE CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO. 482 00:23:28,077 --> 00:23:30,580 I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR AND MAKING AN APPOINTMENT. 483 00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:34,814 IF YOU WANT, I CAN ALSO GET A PRICE CHECK ON A PAIR OF-- I'M NOT GETTING A BOOB JOB. 484 00:23:39,549 --> 00:23:41,891 (door unlocks) 485 00:23:41,891 --> 00:23:45,655 WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU A NICE CUP OF EARL GREY... 486 00:23:47,597 --> 00:23:50,630 OH, DEAR GOD. 487 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:54,834 (gasps) ORSON, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED! 488 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,507 IT WASN'T ME. I SWEAR. 489 00:24:07,176 --> 00:24:09,178 (woman) WE NEED MORE SILVERWARE UP THERE. 490 00:24:09,178 --> 00:24:11,521 NO CUTS! BACK OF THE LINE. 491 00:24:11,521 --> 00:24:14,654 OH, RELAX. I ALREADY ATE DINNER AT HOME... 492 00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:17,657 IN MY BOX UNDER THE BRIDGE. 493 00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:21,160 FRAN? 494 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,133 OH, GOD. I WAS AFRAID I WOULDN'T FIND YOU HERE. 495 00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:26,996 AH, LUCKY YOU, I'M STILL POOR. 496 00:24:26,996 --> 00:24:29,669 I FEEL BAD I DUCKED OUT SO FAST THE OTHER DAY. 497 00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:31,671 AND I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU A LOT, 498 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,973 AND I JUST-- I REALLY WANNA HELP. 499 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,975 (sighs) 500 00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,910 WOW. 501 00:24:40,910 --> 00:24:42,582 THANK YOU. THANK YOU! 502 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,153 NOW... 503 00:24:44,153 --> 00:24:46,816 I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA... 504 00:24:46,816 --> 00:24:48,818 YOU KNOW... 505 00:24:48,818 --> 00:24:51,821 DRINKING WAS NEVER MY PROBLEM, GABY. 506 00:24:51,821 --> 00:24:55,064 I DIDN'T THINK SO. YOU WERE ALWAYS SO CLASSY. 507 00:24:55,064 --> 00:24:56,826 20, 40, 60... 508 00:24:56,826 --> 00:24:58,828 (whispers) WAS IT DRUGS? 509 00:24:58,828 --> 00:25:01,200 NO. I NEVER DID DRUGS. 510 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,872 (normal voice) GOOD TO KNOW. 511 00:25:02,872 --> 00:25:04,173 80, 100. 512 00:25:04,173 --> 00:25:07,176 BECAUSE GAMBLING IS BAD ENOUGH WITHOUT BEING HIGH. 513 00:25:07,176 --> 00:25:09,879 I NEVER GAMBLED A DAY IN MY LIFE, GABY. 514 00:25:09,879 --> 00:25:13,212 WELL, THEN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? (pounds tabletop) 515 00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:15,084 THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 516 00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:18,187 I WAS AT YOUR HOUSE. YOU HAD SUCH LOVELY THINGS. 517 00:25:18,187 --> 00:25:21,090 YES, MARK AND I LIVED REALLY WELL. 518 00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:23,753 PROBABLY A LITTLE... TOO WELL. 519 00:25:23,753 --> 00:25:25,224 BUT WE WERE YOUNG, 520 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:28,227 AND WE THOUGHT WE HAD TIME TO SAVE FOR THE FUTURE. 521 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:30,760 THEN HE DIED. 522 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,203 (whispers) MARK DIED? 523 00:25:34,203 --> 00:25:36,205 (normal voice) I DIDN'T KNOW. 524 00:25:36,205 --> 00:25:38,738 HE WAS SICK A REALLY LONG TIME. 525 00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:41,040 HE COULDN'T WORK. HE LOST HIS INSURANCE. 526 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,043 BY THE TIME HE PASSED AWAY, WE WERE COMPLETELY WIPED OUT. 527 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:46,245 OH, FRAN, I'M SO SORRY. 528 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:50,179 YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY FAMILY TO TURN TO? ANY FRIENDS? 529 00:25:50,179 --> 00:25:54,183 NO FAMILY, AND AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT TOO MANY FRIENDS EITHER. 530 00:25:54,183 --> 00:25:57,226 LOOK, GABY, I KNOW YOU CAME HERE 531 00:25:57,226 --> 00:26:00,289 WANTING TO FIND OUT WHAT I DID TO MAKE THIS ALL HAPPEN. 532 00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,262 BUT THE TRUTH IS, WE'RE ALL JUST AN ACCIDENT OR A TUMOR 533 00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:05,264 OR A BAD INVESTMENT AWAY FROM... 534 00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:08,197 (voice breaks) STANDING IN LINE FOR FREE SOUP. 535 00:26:08,197 --> 00:26:09,338 THANK YOU. 536 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,604 I DON'T AGREE, FRAN. 537 00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:22,281 YOU KNOW, CARLOS WENT BLIND FOR FIVE YEARS. 538 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,984 WE WENT BROKE. WE ALMOST LOST OUR HOUSE. 539 00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,987 BUT WE WORKED OUR ASSES OFF AND WE MADE IT BACK. 540 00:26:27,987 --> 00:26:31,661 OH, SO JUST BECAUSE YOU SURVIVED THAT, 541 00:26:31,661 --> 00:26:34,163 YOU THINK YOU'VE CROSSED SOME KIND OF FINISH LINE, 542 00:26:34,163 --> 00:26:36,265 THAT NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN AGAIN? 543 00:26:36,265 --> 00:26:38,297 WELL, NO, BUT-- LISTEN. 544 00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:41,000 I HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU. 545 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,774 I HOPE YOU NEVER LOSE THAT BIG, BEAUTIFUL HOME OF YOURS. 546 00:26:44,774 --> 00:26:48,007 GOD KNOWS I WISH I'D APPRECIATED MINE MORE WHILE I HAD IT. 547 00:26:52,381 --> 00:26:55,244 THANK YOU AGAIN. 548 00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:15,234 REMIND ME AGAIN WHEN YOU'RE GETTING YOUR TEETH CLEANED. 549 00:27:15,234 --> 00:27:17,837 UM... THE 14th. 550 00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:19,839 AND THE 15th, WE HAVE TICKETS 551 00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:22,341 TO THAT PLAY THAT YOU'RE DRAGGING ME TO. 552 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,673 YES. WHY? 553 00:27:23,673 --> 00:27:26,175 I'M JUST--I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 554 00:27:26,175 --> 00:27:29,178 WHEN WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GET MARRIED. 555 00:27:29,178 --> 00:27:31,851 I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU JUST... 556 00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:33,322 I KNOW, I KNOW. 557 00:27:33,322 --> 00:27:36,025 NOT THE MOST ROMANTIC PROPOSAL IN THE WORLD. 558 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:39,028 I SHOULDN'T HAVE LED WITH THE TEETH CLEANING. 559 00:27:39,028 --> 00:27:41,691 I FEEL I CAN OVERLOOK THAT. 560 00:27:41,691 --> 00:27:44,063 SO IS THAT A YES? 561 00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:46,665 YES! (laughs) IT'S A YES! 562 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:47,897 OH! 563 00:27:47,897 --> 00:27:49,238 (laughs) 564 00:27:49,238 --> 00:27:52,201 WOW! WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON? 565 00:27:52,201 --> 00:27:54,744 IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT TIME. 566 00:27:54,744 --> 00:27:56,906 OH, MIKE. 567 00:27:56,906 --> 00:27:58,908 I'M SO HAPPY. (giggles) (chuckles) 568 00:27:58,908 --> 00:28:00,950 I LOVE YOU. 569 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,687 (both speaking inaudibly) 570 00:28:10,219 --> 00:28:12,221 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 571 00:28:15,464 --> 00:28:17,366 (spritzing) 572 00:28:17,366 --> 00:28:19,368 I UNDERSTAND TAKING THINGS, 573 00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:22,832 BUT WHY SMASH SOMETHING YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE BEHIND? 574 00:28:22,832 --> 00:28:25,975 (chuckles) THEY'RE ROBBERS, DEAR. NOT PERSONAL SHOPPERS. 575 00:28:25,975 --> 00:28:28,277 YEAH, WELL, WHOEVER DID THIS SHOULD BE SHOT. 576 00:28:28,277 --> 00:28:30,980 WELL, I WONDER IF THE VICTIMS OF YOUR KLEPTOMANIA 577 00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:34,113 FELT THE SAME WAY. 578 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:36,746 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 579 00:28:36,746 --> 00:28:39,248 I NEVER REALIZED WHAT MY STEALING PUT PEOPLE THROUGH. 580 00:28:39,248 --> 00:28:40,920 MAYBE THIS IS KARMA. 581 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,391 WHAT IS THAT? 582 00:28:42,391 --> 00:28:44,023 OH. 583 00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:47,757 IT'S A PICTURE OF THE MASK THEY STOLE. 584 00:28:47,757 --> 00:28:50,099 I DREW IT FROM MEMORY. 585 00:28:50,099 --> 00:28:52,101 WOW. 586 00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:54,233 HMM. REMEMBER WHERE WE GOT IT? 587 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,935 WAS IT FLORENCE? 588 00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:57,266 VENICE. 589 00:28:57,266 --> 00:28:59,769 WE WALKED PAST THAT LITTLE SHOP UNDER THE BRIDGE, 590 00:28:59,769 --> 00:29:01,370 AND YOU SAW IT IN THE WINDOW. 591 00:29:01,370 --> 00:29:03,412 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 592 00:29:03,412 --> 00:29:04,743 MM. 593 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:07,416 YOU TOLD ME YOU'D BEEN WEARING A MASK ALL YOUR LIFE, 594 00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:09,418 BUT WITH ME, YOU FELT-- 595 00:29:09,418 --> 00:29:12,421 LIKE I COULD FINALLY TAKE IT OFF AND BE MYSELF. 596 00:29:12,421 --> 00:29:14,253 (chuckles) YEAH. 597 00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:16,385 (mouths word) 598 00:29:16,385 --> 00:29:18,788 ANYWAY, I FAXED IT TO THE SHOP IN VENICE. 599 00:29:18,788 --> 00:29:20,790 THEY SAID THEY COULD MAKE A NEW ONE. 600 00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:23,392 I SHOULD HAVE IT FOR YOU IN ABOUT A MONTH. 601 00:29:23,392 --> 00:29:25,764 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT TO ALL THAT TROUBLE 602 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,767 THEN YOU MUST NOT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. 603 00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:39,478 (telephone rings) 604 00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:41,250 (ring) 605 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:42,351 (beep) 606 00:29:42,351 --> 00:29:44,413 HELLO? OH, HI, DAVE. 607 00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,916 NO, OF COURSE NOT. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? 608 00:29:46,916 --> 00:29:49,919 WELL, I FIGURED IT WAS TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK, 609 00:29:49,919 --> 00:29:52,421 SO I PUT TOGETHER A SPEAKING TOUR-- 610 00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:54,493 SEATTLE, PORTLAND, MY USUAL ROUTE. 611 00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:58,968 WORK? ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT TOO SOON? Well, I have to do it eventually. 612 00:29:58,968 --> 00:30:00,269 ANYWAY, I WAS HOPING 613 00:30:00,269 --> 00:30:03,132 YOU COULD CHECK IN ON THE HOUSE NOW AND THEN. 614 00:30:03,132 --> 00:30:05,134 OF COURSE. (knock on door) 615 00:30:05,134 --> 00:30:08,137 OH, SOMEONE'S AT MY DOOR. LET ME GET RID OF THEM. 616 00:30:10,539 --> 00:30:12,541 HEY, KATHERINE, IS MIKE HERE? 617 00:30:12,541 --> 00:30:15,114 NO, HE'S AT WORK. OH, SHOOT. UM... 618 00:30:15,114 --> 00:30:18,888 WELL, CAN YOU TELL HIM TO CALL ME AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK? SURE. 619 00:30:18,888 --> 00:30:20,049 (sighs) 620 00:30:20,049 --> 00:30:22,451 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 621 00:30:22,451 --> 00:30:24,023 UH, WELL... 622 00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:28,397 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? MIKE'S PROBABLY GONNA TELL YOU ANYWAY, 623 00:30:28,397 --> 00:30:31,030 SO JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE, OKAY? 624 00:30:31,030 --> 00:30:33,332 THERE'S NOT A PROBLEM WITH THE WEDDING, IS THERE? 625 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,504 IT'S STILL ON, RIGHT? 626 00:30:35,504 --> 00:30:38,367 IT DEPENDS. 627 00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:40,539 JACKSON AND I ARE ONLY GETTING MARRIED 628 00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,411 BECAUSE HE NEEDS HIS GREEN CARD. 629 00:30:42,411 --> 00:30:44,513 OH. 630 00:30:44,513 --> 00:30:47,516 AND THEN I REALIZED THAT I WOULD LOSE MY ALIMONY. 631 00:30:47,516 --> 00:30:50,349 SO UNLESS MIKE WILL KEEP PAYING ME, I CAN'T GET MARRIED. 632 00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,381 YOU HAVE TO. 633 00:30:52,381 --> 00:30:54,253 I MEAN, POOR JACKSON. 634 00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:57,887 I-I WOULD HATE TO SEE HIM DEPORTED BACK TO... 635 00:30:57,887 --> 00:31:00,890 WHERE'S HE FROM? CANADA. 636 00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:04,233 OH! OH! BRR! WE CAN'T HAVE THAT! 637 00:31:04,233 --> 00:31:07,366 IF YOU WANT, I COULD TALK TO MIKE FOR YOU. THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 638 00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,969 JUST TELL HIM I NEED AN ANSWER QUICKLY 639 00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:11,971 'CAUSE THE WEDDING IS MONDAY. 640 00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:15,874 WELL, DON'T CANCEL ANYTHING YET. YOU'LL HAVE YOUR ANSWER TONIGHT. 641 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,406 THANKS. 642 00:31:24,954 --> 00:31:27,456 SORRY, DAVE. 643 00:31:27,456 --> 00:31:28,988 DAVE? 644 00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:32,321 (beep) 645 00:31:32,321 --> 00:31:35,124 (chuckles) 646 00:31:44,473 --> 00:31:45,634 HEY. (telephone ringing) 647 00:31:45,634 --> 00:31:48,407 HEY, LYNETTE. HOW'S IT GOING? 648 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:51,410 OH, MY HUSBAND WANTS TO SPEND MONEY WE DON'T HAVE 649 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,682 ON A FACE-LIFT HE DOESN'T NEED, SO... NOT GREAT. 650 00:31:53,682 --> 00:31:56,085 MM, TELL HIM TO BE CAREFUL. 651 00:31:56,085 --> 00:31:58,387 HAVE YOU SEEN BRUCE IN PAYROLL? 652 00:31:58,387 --> 00:32:01,450 HE JUST WENT IN FOR A LITTLE NIP AND TUCK. 653 00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,953 AND? HOW'S HE LOOK? 654 00:32:03,953 --> 00:32:06,956 LIKE HE'S STANDING IN A WIND TUNNEL. 655 00:32:06,956 --> 00:32:08,958 REALLY? MM-HMM. 656 00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,429 POOR BRUCE. 657 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,031 YEP. 658 00:32:14,463 --> 00:32:16,135 WHAT'S HIS EXTENSION? 659 00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:19,268 AND I'M THINKING I MAY HAVE ACTED RASHLY. 660 00:32:19,268 --> 00:32:22,541 I MEAN, EVERY MARRIAGE HAS ITS ROUGH PATCHES. 661 00:32:22,541 --> 00:32:25,544 ORSON LOVES ME, AND DEEP DOWN, HE'S A GOOD MAN. 662 00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:28,547 IF I STICK WITH THIS, MAYBE WE CAN MAKE IT WORK. 663 00:32:28,547 --> 00:32:30,549 ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? 664 00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:33,152 DON'T NEED TO. HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. 665 00:32:33,152 --> 00:32:34,453 OH, REALLY? 666 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,256 I'VE BEEN DOING THIS 20 YEARS. 667 00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:39,358 AND TRUST ME, 668 00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:41,390 EVERY WOMAN GETS COLD FEET. 669 00:32:41,390 --> 00:32:44,393 (ice cubes clink) "AM I MAKING A MISTAKE?" 670 00:32:44,393 --> 00:32:46,395 "WAS HE REALLY THAT BAD?" 671 00:32:46,395 --> 00:32:49,498 "MAYBE I COULD TRY HARDER." 672 00:32:49,498 --> 00:32:52,441 AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT I TELL THEM-- 673 00:32:52,441 --> 00:32:54,443 YOU'RE NOT MAKING A MISTAKE. 674 00:32:54,443 --> 00:32:56,445 HE REALLY IS THAT BAD. 675 00:32:56,445 --> 00:32:59,078 (opens drawer) AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, 676 00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:01,150 HE'S STILL GONNA BE THE SAME JERK 677 00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:04,153 WHO SENT YOU INTO THIS OFFICE IN THE FIRST PLACE. 678 00:33:04,153 --> 00:33:06,155 OH. SO I'M JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, 679 00:33:06,155 --> 00:33:08,217 AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING I'M GOING TO SAY. 680 00:33:08,217 --> 00:33:09,358 YEP. 681 00:33:09,358 --> 00:33:13,192 I EVEN KNOW THE STUFF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY. 682 00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:15,064 I DOUBT THAT. 683 00:33:15,064 --> 00:33:17,496 LET ME GIVE IT A SHOT. 684 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,498 (pours liquid) YOU'VE BEEN THINKING, 685 00:33:19,498 --> 00:33:22,171 "WHAT HAPPENS IF I WALK AWAY FROM ORSON 686 00:33:22,171 --> 00:33:25,634 AND EVERYTHING I INVESTED IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?" 687 00:33:28,477 --> 00:33:32,181 "WILL I EVER FIND ANOTHER MAN?" 688 00:33:34,483 --> 00:33:38,187 WILL YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ALONE? 689 00:33:40,689 --> 00:33:42,591 CLOSE? 690 00:33:45,354 --> 00:33:47,756 IN THE BALLPARK. 691 00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:52,431 WELL, YOU LISTEN TO ME. 692 00:33:52,431 --> 00:33:54,433 YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 693 00:33:57,706 --> 00:34:01,070 YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL, ELEGANT, CLASSY WOMAN, 694 00:34:01,070 --> 00:34:04,343 AND THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA END UP ALONE. 695 00:34:12,781 --> 00:34:15,484 AND DO YOU SAY THAT TO EVERY WOMAN, TOO? 696 00:34:15,484 --> 00:34:16,825 NO. 697 00:34:16,825 --> 00:34:19,528 I MEAN, I GET SOME REAL UGGOS IN HERE. 698 00:34:19,528 --> 00:34:21,830 YOU KNOW, THE KIND THAT ARE GONNA DIE ALONE 699 00:34:21,830 --> 00:34:25,334 AND GET EATEN BY THEIR CATS. (chuckles) 700 00:34:25,334 --> 00:34:26,595 CHARMING. 701 00:34:26,595 --> 00:34:30,339 SO ARE WE BACK IN BUSINESS? 702 00:34:30,339 --> 00:34:34,343 SEND ME THE PAPERS WHEN THEY'RE READY. 703 00:34:34,343 --> 00:34:38,747 (door opens and closes) 704 00:34:41,110 --> 00:34:43,112 HONEY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HOME. 705 00:34:43,112 --> 00:34:46,115 I BROUGHT SOMEONE HOME FROM WORK I WANT YOU TO MEET. (groans) W-- 706 00:34:46,115 --> 00:34:49,118 OHH. YEAH. IT TURNS OUT HE GOT THE SAME PROCEDURE 707 00:34:49,118 --> 00:34:51,490 THAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT GETTING. 708 00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:54,763 SO I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD CHAT HIM UP ABOUT IT. SO YOU'RE FINALLY ON BOARD WITH THIS? 709 00:34:54,763 --> 00:34:56,795 WELL, LIKE YOU SAID, IT'S YOUR FACE. 710 00:34:56,795 --> 00:35:00,529 COME ON, I'M DYING FOR YOU TO MEET BRUCE. 711 00:35:04,373 --> 00:35:06,875 BRUCE, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY HUSBAND TOM. 712 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:08,677 TOM, THIS IS BRUCE. 713 00:35:08,677 --> 00:35:12,811 HI, TOM. 714 00:35:12,811 --> 00:35:16,415 SO, UM, LYNETTE TELLS ME 715 00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:19,388 YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HAVING A LITTLE ELECTIVE SURGERY. 716 00:35:19,388 --> 00:35:22,151 DID SHE? MM-HMM. 717 00:35:22,151 --> 00:35:26,295 NOW YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TELL, 718 00:35:26,295 --> 00:35:28,857 BUT I'VE HAD WORK DONE. 719 00:35:28,857 --> 00:35:32,631 REALLY? (chuckles nervously) HAVE THEY FINISHED? 720 00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,404 YEAH. (Lynette chuckles) 721 00:35:35,404 --> 00:35:38,667 NOW I SHOULD WARN YOU THAT, UH... 722 00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,470 AFTER THEY OPERATE, IT LOOKS A LITTLE WEIRD. 723 00:35:41,470 --> 00:35:44,142 OH, I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THAT. YEAH. 724 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,745 BUT EVENTUALLY IT SETTLES, LIKE THIS. 725 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:48,577 MM. 726 00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:54,823 (sighs) 727 00:35:56,455 --> 00:35:58,427 ISN'T IT EXCITING, TOM? 728 00:35:58,427 --> 00:36:01,490 IN A FEW WEEKS, YOU ARE GONNA LOOK JUST LIKE BRUCE. 729 00:36:03,732 --> 00:36:07,636 HEY, IF YOU WANT, I'LL GIVE YOU THE NAME OF MY SURGEON. 730 00:36:07,636 --> 00:36:11,300 YES. I DEFINITELY WANT THE NAME OF THE GUY WHO DID THAT. 731 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:14,343 LYNETTE, UM, BRUCE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD USE SOMETHING TO DRINK, 732 00:36:14,343 --> 00:36:16,645 AND I KNOW THAT I SURE COULD. 733 00:36:16,645 --> 00:36:19,548 C-COULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR A SEC? (laughs) 734 00:36:22,881 --> 00:36:25,784 VERY CLEVER, LYNETTE--INVITING THE JOKER OVER TO SCARE ME. 735 00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:28,787 I WANTED YOU TO SEE THE FACE THEY DON'T PUT IN THE BROCHURE. 736 00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:31,790 I WILL BE HAVING MY WORK DONE BY A REPUTABLE SURGEON. 737 00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,293 BRUCE LOOKS LIKE HIS WAS DONE BY A BEAR. 738 00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:36,595 (laughs) THAT'S MY POINT. (liquid pours) 739 00:36:36,595 --> 00:36:39,568 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THESE THINGS WILL TURN OUT. (sets down bottle) 740 00:36:39,568 --> 00:36:42,571 WELL, I AM WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK. I'M DOING IT. 741 00:36:42,571 --> 00:36:44,703 WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUBBORN? 742 00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,905 WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? 743 00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:50,579 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY. 744 00:36:50,579 --> 00:36:51,740 WHAT? 745 00:36:51,740 --> 00:36:55,544 TOM, IF YOU'RE UNSATISFIED WITH YOUR LOOKS, 746 00:36:55,544 --> 00:36:59,288 SOMEDAY YOU'RE GONNA BE UNSATISFIED WITH MINE. 747 00:36:59,288 --> 00:37:00,489 NO. 748 00:37:00,489 --> 00:37:01,990 NO. YES. 749 00:37:01,990 --> 00:37:05,894 YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT ME SOMEDAY WITH YOUR BRAND-NEW FACE 750 00:37:05,894 --> 00:37:08,627 AND SAY, "WHEN DID SHE GET SO OLD?" 751 00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:12,531 WE WON'T LOOK LIKE WE BELONG TOGETHER ANYMORE. 752 00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:15,904 LYNETTE, I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT GETTIN' RID OF A FEW WRINKLES. 753 00:37:15,904 --> 00:37:17,906 BUT I DON'T SEE YOUR WRINKLES, TOM. 754 00:37:17,906 --> 00:37:19,908 I SEE OUR WHOLE LIFE TOGETHER. 755 00:37:21,510 --> 00:37:23,912 THIS... 756 00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:28,547 IS YOU WORRYING ABOUT HOW YOU'RE GOING TO PROVIDE FOR US. 757 00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:31,520 THIS IS PENNY FALLING OUT OF THE TREE HOUSE 758 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,652 AND BREAKING HER ARM. 759 00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:36,525 THIS IS MY CANCER. 760 00:37:38,727 --> 00:37:41,430 THESE ARE THE MILLIONS OF LAUGHS 761 00:37:41,430 --> 00:37:43,732 THAT GOT US THROUGH ALL THOSE TOUGH TIMES. 762 00:37:45,964 --> 00:37:48,767 IT'S LIKE A MAP OF OUR MARRIAGE, 763 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,670 AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT. 764 00:37:51,670 --> 00:37:54,373 AND IT IF KEEPS ME FROM GETTING A JOB? 765 00:37:56,405 --> 00:37:59,007 YOU'RE GONNA GET A JOB, 766 00:37:59,007 --> 00:38:01,980 AND IT'LL BE BECAUSE THEY'RE IMPRESSED BY YOUR EXPERIENCE, 767 00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:03,982 NOT YOUR WRINKLE-FREE FACE. 768 00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:07,586 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. 769 00:38:07,586 --> 00:38:09,658 AND I LOVE YOUR FACE, TOO. 770 00:38:09,658 --> 00:38:11,460 MMM. 771 00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:13,492 MMM. 772 00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:16,325 AND THIS WRINKLE HERE, THAT'S WHEN-- 773 00:38:16,325 --> 00:38:19,628 THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, TOM. 774 00:38:19,628 --> 00:38:22,631 COME ON. MWAH. 775 00:38:24,333 --> 00:38:26,535 (cell phone alert beeps) 776 00:38:29,608 --> 00:38:31,079 HEY. 777 00:38:31,079 --> 00:38:32,611 GOOD NEWS. 778 00:38:32,611 --> 00:38:34,983 LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING FAKE MARRIED AFTER ALL. 779 00:38:34,983 --> 00:38:37,386 REALLY? YEAH. 780 00:38:37,386 --> 00:38:40,549 MIKE AGREED TO KEEP PAYING ME ALIMONY. HE JUST SENT ME A TEXT. 781 00:38:40,549 --> 00:38:43,392 OH, MAN. THAT'S A RELIEF. (cell phone beeps) 782 00:38:43,392 --> 00:38:44,853 AND UNBELIEVABLY GENEROUS. 783 00:38:44,853 --> 00:38:48,096 I'M GONNA SEND HIM A THANK-YOU RIGHT NOW. 784 00:38:48,096 --> 00:38:51,059 (alert chimes) 785 00:38:51,059 --> 00:38:54,102 (Katherine) YOU'RE WELCOME. 786 00:38:54,102 --> 00:38:56,405 (hits button) 787 00:38:56,405 --> 00:38:57,866 (hits button) 788 00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:15,053 YOU KNOW, I REALLY CAN'T TELL YOU 789 00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:18,126 HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU DOING THIS FOR ME, SUSAN. 790 00:39:18,126 --> 00:39:20,589 AND I PROMISE, AS LONG AS I'M HERE, 791 00:39:20,589 --> 00:39:22,591 I'LL PITCH IN AROUND THE HOUSE, RUN ERRANDS. 792 00:39:22,591 --> 00:39:24,733 YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE A REAL HUSBAND. 793 00:39:24,733 --> 00:39:26,895 (chuckles) CLEARLY, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE. 794 00:39:26,895 --> 00:39:30,038 WELL, YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE THIS IS, UM... 795 00:39:30,038 --> 00:39:33,001 A FAKE MARRIAGE, DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE WONDERFUL. 796 00:39:33,001 --> 00:39:36,004 WELL, I'VE BEEN IN SOME REAL MARRIAGES THAT WEREN'T, 797 00:39:36,004 --> 00:39:38,947 SO... MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 798 00:39:42,150 --> 00:39:45,153 (rattling) 799 00:39:46,885 --> 00:39:49,518 (chuckles) OH, LOOK. CANS. 800 00:39:49,518 --> 00:39:52,060 YOU CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT CANS AND SIGNAGE! 801 00:39:52,060 --> 00:39:53,662 SWEET! (laughs) 802 00:39:53,662 --> 00:39:56,665 LET'S GET TO THE CAR WASH ON OUR WAY TO THE COURTHOUSE. MM-HMM. 803 00:39:58,166 --> 00:39:59,668 (tires screech) 804 00:40:01,630 --> 00:40:02,601 JACKSON BRADDOCK? 805 00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:03,702 YES? 806 00:40:03,702 --> 00:40:05,874 WE'RE WITH IMMIGRATION. 807 00:40:05,874 --> 00:40:08,036 YOU'RE IN THE COUNTRY ON AN EXPIRED VISA. 808 00:40:08,036 --> 00:40:10,539 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME WITH US. OH, NO, NO, NO. 809 00:40:10,539 --> 00:40:13,542 YOU--YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM NOW. MA'AM, I NEED YOU TO STEP BACK. 810 00:40:13,542 --> 00:40:15,514 SUSAN, THERE'S A BUSINESS CARD ON THE DRESSER 811 00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:17,846 WITH AN ATTORNEY'S NUMBER. WOULD YOU CALL HIM FOR ME, PLEASE? 812 00:40:17,846 --> 00:40:21,750 PLEASE, CAN'T THIS WAIT? WE'RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED. NOT TODAY YOU'RE NOT. 813 00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:24,453 WHAT'S GOING ON? WHO ARE THESE GUYS? UH... IMMIGRATION AGENTS, 814 00:40:24,453 --> 00:40:26,455 AND I THINK THEY'RE... (car door shuts) 815 00:40:26,455 --> 00:40:28,457 SENDING JACKSON BACK TO CANADA. 816 00:40:46,174 --> 00:40:49,778 (cell phone rings) 817 00:40:49,778 --> 00:40:53,582 (ring) 818 00:40:53,582 --> 00:40:55,654 (beep) 819 00:40:55,654 --> 00:40:58,657 HELLO? (woman) May I speak with, uh, Bree Van De Kamp? 820 00:40:58,657 --> 00:41:01,530 OH, SHE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT. CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE? 821 00:41:01,530 --> 00:41:03,992 Uh, yeah, this is Sheila with Weston Brothers Storage. 822 00:41:03,992 --> 00:41:06,995 It's about the storage unit she just rented. STORAGE UNIT? 823 00:41:06,995 --> 00:41:08,997 Uh, yeah, we overcharged her on the deposit. 824 00:41:08,997 --> 00:41:10,999 Tell her not to worry. 825 00:41:10,999 --> 00:41:13,001 We're gonna deduct it from her next bill. 826 00:41:13,001 --> 00:41:15,003 OKAY. UH, THANK YOU. You're welcome. 827 00:41:15,003 --> 00:41:16,505 (beep) 828 00:41:18,647 --> 00:41:21,980 EVERYONE WEARS SOME KIND OF MASK, 829 00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,982 SO YOU MUST LOOK CLOSELY 830 00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:27,756 TO FIND THE TRUTH THAT LIES BENEATH. 831 00:41:27,756 --> 00:41:28,757 (keys jangle) 832 00:41:28,757 --> 00:41:30,889 HI. MWAH. (door opens) 833 00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:35,964 SOME CONCEAL ANXIETY ABOUT GROWING OLDER. 834 00:41:39,568 --> 00:41:43,231 SOME HIDE FEARS OF FINANCIAL RUIN. 835 00:41:47,706 --> 00:41:50,178 (gasps, laughing) 836 00:41:50,178 --> 00:41:55,544 OTHERS COVER UP A LOVE THAT CONTINUES TO LINGER. 837 00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,118 (door creaks) 838 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:06,194 AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO LET THEIR MASKS SLIP. 839 00:42:11,059 --> 00:42:13,101 IF YOU LOOK INTO THEIR EYES, 840 00:42:13,101 --> 00:42:16,605 YOU'LL SEE WHO THEY REALLY ARE... 841 00:42:16,605 --> 00:42:22,140 AND EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE CAPABLE OF. 62953

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