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1
00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:02,133
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:04,135
HEY, DAVE,
IS THAT THE BATHROOM?
3
00:00:04,135 --> 00:00:06,137
NO.
I THINK THAT'S IT THERE.
4
00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:08,039
OH, OKAY. THANKS.
5
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:12,113
DAVE TRIED TO ELIMINATE
A WITNESS TO MURDER.
6
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,144
HEY! UHH!
7
00:00:13,144 --> 00:00:15,686
BUT JACKSON SURVIVED...
8
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:18,749
I BOUGHT M.J. A FISHING POLE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT THIS WEEKEND.
9
00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:21,021
I'M KIND OF GETTING MARRIED.
WHAT?
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,194
I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU
OUT HERE.
JACKSON.
11
00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,356
FORCING HIM
TO CHANGE HIS PLANS.
12
00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:27,098
I'M A MIDDLE-AGED GUY...
13
00:00:27,098 --> 00:00:30,461
TOM WAS SEARCHING.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE.
14
00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:33,104
WE'RE RICH AGAIN!
HALLELUJAH!
15
00:00:33,104 --> 00:00:35,166
GABY'S LIFE RETURNED TO NORMAL.
16
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,768
WE'RE GONNA BE US AGAIN--
THE OLD CARLOS AND GABY.
17
00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:40,111
I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU
WALK AWAY FROM THIS MARRIAGE
18
00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:42,673
WITH YOUR ASSETS INTACT.
NOW TO ACCOMPLISH THIS...
19
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:45,516
AND BREE AGREED TO PROTECT
WHAT SHE FELT WAS HERS.
20
00:00:45,516 --> 00:00:48,519
I'M CAPABLE OF DOING
WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE.
21
00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:01,832
(Mary Alice) THE LAWYER ARRIVED
JUST AFTER SUNDOWN.
22
00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:07,268
HE CHECKED TO MAKE SURE
NO ONE WAS WATCHING,
23
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,771
THEN HE HURRIED
TO THE FRONT DOOR...
24
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,145
WHERE HIS CLIENT WAS WAITING.
25
00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:19,850
AS SHE POURED HIM
THE SCOTCH HE REQUESTED,
26
00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:21,812
THE CLIENT BEGAN TO WONDER
27
00:01:21,812 --> 00:01:24,715
EXACTLY HOW HE PLANNED
TO HIDE HER ASSETS
28
00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:27,788
FROM THE HUSBAND
SHE WAS DIVORCING.
29
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:32,723
(speaking inaudibly)
THE LAWYER SUGGESTED
SOME CREATIVE ACCOUNTING.
30
00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:35,426
HIS CLIENT AGREED.
31
00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:40,100
(speaking inaudibly)
HE SUGGEST
A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT.
32
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,173
SHE AGREED.
33
00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:45,406
(speaking inaudibly)
HE SUGGESTED
A SECOND SET OF BOOKS.
34
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,409
SHE AGREED.
35
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:54,785
AND THEN THE LAWYER LOOKED
DEEP INTO HIS CLIENT'S EYES
36
00:01:54,785 --> 00:01:58,249
AND MADE
ONE FINAL SUGGESTION...
(speaking inaudibly)
37
00:01:58,249 --> 00:02:02,493
THAT SHE WAS
COMPLETELY UNPREPARED FOR.
38
00:02:02,493 --> 00:02:05,196
YOU WANT ME TO ROB
MY OWN HOUSE?!
39
00:02:05,196 --> 00:02:08,799
NOT EXACTLY. I WAS THINKING WE'D
HIRE MY FRIEND TONY TO DO IT.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
40
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:11,302
I AM ALL UP FOR
A LITTLE CREATIVE ACCOUNTING
41
00:02:11,302 --> 00:02:13,264
AND SOME
SECRET BANK ACCOUNTS,
42
00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,536
BUT HIRING SOME THUG
TO STAGE A BREAK-IN?
43
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,538
IT'S A COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE,
BABE.
44
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,540
ORSON'S GOING TO GET HALF
OF EVERYTHING,
45
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,142
INCLUDING YOUR JEWELRY,
YOUR ARTWORK, YOUR ANTIQUES.
46
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,345
WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER
TO JUST HAVE HIM KILLED?
47
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,347
AS YOUR LAWYER,
I CAN'T CONDONE THAT.
48
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,180
THAT SAID, I HAVE A COUSIN--
I WAS KIDDING!
49
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:32,152
SO WAS I.
LOOSEN UP, FRECKLES.
50
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,154
WELL, I JUST NEVER KNOW
WITH YOU.
51
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,156
AND DON'T CALL ME
"FRECKLES."
52
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,158
LOOK, IF YOU'RE NOT
COMFORTABLE WITH TONY,
53
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160
WHY DON'T WE DO THE JOB
OURSELVES?
54
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,162
I BET YOU'D LOOK HOT
IN A SKI MASK.
55
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,636
YOU ARE REPUGNANT,
AND THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.
56
00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:48,639
FINE, BUT SINCE I'M CHARGING YOU
FOR THE FULL HOUR,
57
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,473
LET ME MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE.
SIT DOWN AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.
WHAT? NO!
58
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,846
JUST HUMOR ME. COME ON.
59
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:01,682
NOW I WANT YOU TO PICTURE ORSON
AFTER THE DIVORCE.
60
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:06,186
HE OWNS HALF OF YOUR BUSINESS,
HALF OF YOUR ASSETS.
61
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,488
YOU SEE IT?
62
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,320
GO ON.
63
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,564
NOW I WANT YOU TO PICTURE ORSON
DATING SOME YOUNG BIMBO.
64
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:15,566
AND DON'T KID YOURSELF.
65
00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,968
HE WILL GET A BIMBO.
66
00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:20,471
NOW PICTURE
YOUR FAVORITE STRAND OF PEARLS
67
00:03:20,471 --> 00:03:24,405
DANGLING IN THE 24-YEAR-OLD
CLEAVAGE OF SAID BIMBO
68
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,876
WHILE SHE IS USING
69
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:28,879
YOUR FIRST EDITION ROBERT FROST
AS A COASTER...
(gasps)
70
00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:32,343
AND YOUR 19th CENTURY
FRENCH CRYSTAL VASE
71
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,844
AS AN ASHTRAY.
72
00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:36,216
IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH THAT...
73
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,990
I WILL LEAVE.
74
00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:41,692
AND WITH THAT,
75
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:44,525
THE CLIENT OFFERED
A SUGGESTION OF HER OWN...
76
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,527
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
BREAK A WINDOW
77
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,529
TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE REAL.
78
00:03:50,361 --> 00:04:03,274
AND THE LAWYER AGREED.
79
00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:05,245
MASKS--
80
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,879
YOU CAN FIND THEM IN ANY HOME.
81
00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:13,354
SOME ARE USED ONCE A YEAR
TO SCARE THE NEIGHBORS...
82
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,855
(spraying)
83
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:19,029
SOME ARE NEEDED
FOR THE OCCASIONAL CHORE.
84
00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:24,695
SOME ARE APPLIED
EVERY OTHER THURSDAY.
85
00:04:24,695 --> 00:04:27,498
THEN THERE'S THE KIND OF MASK
86
00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:30,270
SOME MEN WEAR EVERY DAY.
87
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,043
IT'S A FRIENDLY SMILE
88
00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:37,408
DESIGNED TO HIDE
THE MOST WICKED OF INTENTIONS.
89
00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,680
HEY, M.J.,
IS YOUR MOM HOME?
90
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,752
SHE'S INSIDE TALKING
TO JACKSON.
91
00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,056
REALLY?
92
00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:49,990
SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF JACKSON?
93
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,824
I LIKE HIM.
HE BUYS ME COMIC BOOKS.
94
00:04:53,824 --> 00:04:56,567
YEAH, HE'S A GOOD GUY.
95
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,569
HE WAS VERY BRAVE
THAT NIGHT
96
00:04:58,569 --> 00:05:00,971
DURING THAT FIRE
AT THE NIGHTCLUB.
97
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:03,474
DOES HE EVER TALK ABOUT
THAT FIRE...
98
00:05:03,474 --> 00:05:06,036
OR ANYBODY HE SAW
THAT NIGHT?
99
00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:09,880
HAVE THE POLICE STOPPED BY
TO ASK HIM ANY QUESTIONS?
100
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:14,915
IF THEY DO,
WOULD YOU LET ME KNOW?
101
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,086
WHY?
102
00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:17,918
WELL...
103
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,422
I WANNA MAKE SURE THEY'RE BEING
NICE TO OUR FRIEND JACKSON,
104
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,355
'CAUSE HE'S SUCH A GOOD GUY.
105
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:34,605
IT IS SUCH A STUNNING PIECE.
106
00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:38,008
IT'S SIMPLE AND ELEGANT.
DON'T YOU THINK?
107
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,942
I MEAN, I KNOW
IT WAS EXPENSIVE,
108
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,345
BUT YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE TAG
ON BEAUTY. AM I RIGHT?
109
00:05:47,017 --> 00:05:49,720
SO WHEN DADDY FINDS OUT
HOW MUCH I SPENT,
110
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,023
WOULD IT BE OKAY IF
I USED YOU AS A HUMAN SHIELD?
111
00:05:54,785 --> 00:05:58,489
YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY
GET YOU TESTED.
112
00:05:58,489 --> 00:06:00,731
(front door opens and closes)
113
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,733
MOM?
114
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,865
HEY! DID YOU HAVE
A FUN PLAYDATE WITH HEATHER?
115
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,367
SHE'S GOT A CANOPY BED.
I WANT ONE.
116
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,671
WE JUST BOUGHT YOU A BED.
IT'S NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD.
117
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:14,044
I DON'T LIKE IT ANYMORE.
I WANNA SLEEP UNDER A CANOPY.
118
00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:18,449
THEN GO MOVE IN WITH HEATHER,
'CAUSE I'M NOT GETTING YOU ONE.
119
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:20,511
WHY NOT? WE'RE RICH.
120
00:06:20,511 --> 00:06:23,514
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
I HEARD YOU TELLING AUNT BREE,
121
00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:26,717
SINCE DADDY GOT HIS NEW JOB,
WE'RE ROLLING IN MONEY.
122
00:06:26,717 --> 00:06:28,719
WELL, MOMMY SHOULDN'T HAVE
SAID THAT.
123
00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:32,062
JUST, WHEN AUNT BREE STARTED
BRAGGING ABOUT HER PRADA BAG,
124
00:06:32,062 --> 00:06:35,125
MOMMY KIND OF LOST IT.
125
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:36,997
WHATEVER.
126
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,970
I WANT A CANOPY,
AND YOU GOTTA GET ME ONE.
127
00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:42,633
I DON'T HAVE TO
GET YOU ANYTHING.
128
00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:44,635
AND STOP ACTING
LIKE A SPOILED BRAT.
129
00:06:44,635 --> 00:06:47,638
I AM NOT SPENDING A FORTUNE
ON A BED YOU DON'T NEED.
130
00:06:47,638 --> 00:06:50,911
OH, BUT YOU CAN SPEND MILLIONS
OF DOLLARS ON A STUPID VASE?
131
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,544
THAT VASE IS NOT STUPID.
132
00:06:53,544 --> 00:06:55,486
IS THAT VASE STUPID?
133
00:06:57,588 --> 00:07:00,951
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.
134
00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,454
GO TO YOUR ROOM!
135
00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:04,955
(sighs)
YOU, TOO, BOBBLEHEAD.
136
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,500
OKAY, MY CLOTHES
ARE IN THE CLOSET.
137
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,062
I'M GOING TO PUT MY TOOTHBRUSH
IN THE BATHROOM.
138
00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:14,765
(chuckles) OH,
JUST LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP,
139
00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:17,968
AND THE IMMIGRATION PEOPLE WILL
TOTALLY THINK WE'RE MARRIED.
140
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:20,971
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA
THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS.
141
00:07:20,971 --> 00:07:25,115
ACTUALLY, I DID THINK OF ONE WAY
YOU COULD REPAY ME.
142
00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:27,077
MMM. YOU GOT IT.
143
00:07:27,077 --> 00:07:29,580
UH, NO. (chuckles)
NOT LIKE THAT.
144
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,853
NO, I WAS THINKING THAT AFTER
OUR QUICKIE COURTHOUSE CEREMONY,
145
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,626
YOU COULD BUY ME A CAKE.
146
00:07:35,626 --> 00:07:37,087
I LOVE WEDDING CAKE.
147
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:40,591
IT'S THE ONE PART OF MARRIAGE
THAT NEVER LETS YOU DOWN.
148
00:07:40,591 --> 00:07:42,593
WELL, I CAN DO YOU
BETTER THAN THAT.
149
00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:45,195
HOW ABOUT I THROW US
A BIG ENGAGEMENT PARTY?
150
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:46,967
(chuckles) WHAT?
151
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,969
WELL, WE'RE NOT HAVING
A WEDDING,
152
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,141
AND WE'RE GONNA NEED
PICTURES OF SOMETHING
153
00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:53,143
TO PUT IN OUR PHOTO ALBUM
AS EVIDENCE.
154
00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:55,646
OKAY. YEAH,
I GUESS THAT COULD BE FUN.
155
00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:58,148
WHILE OUR FRIENDS ARE TOASTING
TO OUR EVERLASTING HAPPINESS,
156
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,981
WE CAN YELL,
"SURPRISE! IT'S ALL A SHAM!
157
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,983
THANKS FOR THE CROCK-POT!"
(laughs)
158
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,916
NO, NO, NO. WE CAN'T TELL
ANYBODY THIS IS A FAKE.
159
00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:09,089
THE WHOLE THING
COULD BLOW UP.
CAN'T I AT LEAST TELL
THE GIRLS?
160
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,092
NO WAY. I MEAN, THEY DON'T
CALL HER "GABBY" FOR NOTHING.
161
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,525
WOW.
162
00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:17,868
AH, FAKE MARRIAGES--
THEY'RE COMPLICATED.
163
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:20,000
I-I-I KNOW I'M ASKING A LOT,
SUSAN.
164
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,704
NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
I WANNA DO THIS.
165
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,076
TRUTH IS...
166
00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:28,278
I MISS YOU,
167
00:08:28,278 --> 00:08:31,281
AND THE HOUSE HAS BEEN KINDA
LONELY SINCE YOU LEFT.
168
00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:34,044
WELL, I HEAR YOU
LOUD AND CLEAR.
169
00:08:34,044 --> 00:08:36,516
NOT THAT LONELY.
170
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:39,550
(exhales deeply)
171
00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:41,051
(door closes)
172
00:08:45,295 --> 00:08:46,997
(drops trash bag)
173
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,934
(window whirs)
174
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,936
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THINKING.
175
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,669
WELL, THINK INSIDE.
I MADE PORKCHOPS.
176
00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:01,211
AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME
ABOUT MY JOB INTERVIEW?
177
00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,844
OH, RIGHT. HOW'D THAT GO?
178
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,847
OKAY... UNTIL THE 30-YEAR-OLD
WHO WAS INTERVIEWING ME ASKED ME
179
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,651
IF I'D EVER USED TWITTERING
AS PART OF A MARKETING CAMPAIGN.
180
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,783
AND WHAT'D YOU SAY?
181
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,124
NOTHING...
182
00:09:14,124 --> 00:09:17,057
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
WHAT "TWITTERING" IS.
183
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,060
IT'S A SOCIAL NETWORKING TOOL
WHERE YOU SEND INSTANT UPDATES
184
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,963
TO ANYBODY
WHO SIGNS UP FOR THEM.
185
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:27,768
SO... YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS,
AND YET YOU KEPT IT FROM ME?
186
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,070
(chuckles)
I DIDN'T KEEP IT FROM YOU.
187
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,603
IT'S JUST
ONE OF THOSE TECH THINGS
188
00:09:32,603 --> 00:09:34,805
THAT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT.
189
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,777
IT'S FOR YOUNG PEOPLE.
190
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,681
AND I AM A DINOSAUR
MARCHING INTO THE TAR PIT.
191
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,983
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
(sighs)
192
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,986
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET
A WHOLE LOT OF SYMPATHY FROM ME.
193
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,988
I JUST WENT THROUGH
THE SAME THING. REMEMBER?
194
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,320
YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
HOW BAD IT WAS.
195
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,793
THAT'S ANOTHER THING
YOU KEPT FROM ME.
196
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,796
50 GUYS SHOWED UP
FOR THAT ONE JOB,
197
00:09:55,796 --> 00:10:00,030
AND I WAS 10 YEARS OLDER
THAN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF 'EM.
198
00:10:00,030 --> 00:10:02,773
I COULD HEAR 'EM TWITTERING
AS I LEFT THE ROOM.
199
00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:05,876
I THINK YOU MEAN
"TITTERING."
200
00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:09,079
SORRY. PLEASE, DON'T HIT ME.
201
00:10:09,079 --> 00:10:12,983
I HEARD A DOOR SLAM SHUT TODAY,
LYNETTE.
202
00:10:12,983 --> 00:10:16,887
IT'S OFFICIAL.
MY TIME HAS PASSED.
203
00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:19,750
I AM NO LONGER RELEVANT.
204
00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:22,052
OH, FOR GOD SAKES,
KNOCK IT OFF!
205
00:10:22,052 --> 00:10:24,755
I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU
FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
206
00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:27,157
YOU ARE TOM SCAVO,
DAMN IT!
207
00:10:27,157 --> 00:10:29,059
AND?
208
00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:35,335
SORRY. I GOT NOTHING ELSE.
COME INSIDE AND EAT YOUR PORK.
209
00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:49,079
(indistinct conversations)
210
00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:52,783
THIS PLACE SMELLS FUNNY.
I DON'T WANNA BE HERE.
211
00:10:52,783 --> 00:10:54,785
WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT ABOUT THAT
212
00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:57,157
BEFORE YOU STARTED ACTING LIKE
SUCH A DIVA. NOW SIT DOWN.
213
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,359
FATHER CROWLEY!
214
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,792
THIS IS A SURPRISE.
(chuckles)
215
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,034
WHAT BRINGS YOU
TO OUR SOUP KITCHEN?
216
00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:06,737
WELL, I WANT JUANITA
TO WORK WITH THE POOR.
217
00:11:06,737 --> 00:11:09,039
I WANT TO TEACH HER
TO BE GRATEFUL
218
00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:12,042
FOR HOW GOOD SHE HAS IT.
OH, WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS
USE A HAND.
219
00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:13,704
AND FOUR HANDS?
WELL, THAT'S A BLESSING.
220
00:11:13,704 --> 00:11:16,206
(chuckles) OH, ME? NO, NO.
NOT ME.
221
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:18,108
I'M NOT REALLY DRESSED
FOR LADLING,
222
00:11:18,108 --> 00:11:20,811
BUT, UM, I COULD STAND
BY THE CONDIMENT BAR
223
00:11:20,811 --> 00:11:23,183
AND SPRITZ PEOPLE
WITH MY CHANEL.
224
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:28,989
AND YOU SAY JUANITA
IS A LITTLE UNGRATEFUL? HMM.
225
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,697
FRAN SCHULMAN?
226
00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:40,200
FRAN.
HUH?
227
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,402
IT'S GABRIELLE SOLIS
FROM THE TENNIS CLUB.
228
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,735
OH, OF COURSE.
229
00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:46,206
WOW, IT'S BEEN YEARS!
230
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:50,210
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS
AT THAT CHARITY FASHION SHOW.
231
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,082
WASN'T THAT FUN?
YES. YES, IT WAS.
232
00:11:52,082 --> 00:11:54,244
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING?
233
00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:56,917
NOT EXACTLY.
ME EITHER.
234
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,919
MY DAUGHTER'S GOTTEN
SO SNOOTY,
235
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,992
I AM FORCING HER TO SPEND TIME
WITH THE GREAT UNWASHED.
236
00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,995
YOU WANNA DITCH THIS PLACE
FOR A CAPPUCCINO?
237
00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:09,159
UM, ACTUALLY,
I'M HERE TO EAT.
238
00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:12,362
(laughing)
239
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:16,066
OH!
240
00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:22,042
IT'S SUSAN.
241
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,075
GREAT. WE DON'T SEE
ENOUGH OF HER.
242
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:27,878
AND SHE'S NOT ALONE.
243
00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:31,121
HEY, JACKSON. LONG TIME NO SEE.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
244
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:34,885
UM... WE SORT OF HAVE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
245
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,128
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.
246
00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:43,864
OH, MY GOD!
247
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,236
THIS IS SUCH GREAT NEWS!
248
00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:47,367
(chuckles)
OH!
249
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,800
SO... WHEN'S THE DATE?
250
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,171
MONDAY.
251
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,444
WHOA. W-- (chuckles)
WELL, THAT'S KIND OF SUDDEN.
252
00:12:54,444 --> 00:12:57,147
(chuckles)
WELL, WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.
253
00:12:57,147 --> 00:13:00,150
WHY WAIT? (laughs)
AND WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE
ENGAGEMENT PARTY ON FRIDAY,
254
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,082
AND YOU'RE BOTH INVITED.
255
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,084
A PARTY? COUNT US IN.
256
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,887
I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER REASON
TO... CELEBRATE. (laughs)
257
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,319
HAVE YOU TOLD M.J. YET?
258
00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:11,962
YEAH. HE WAS ON BOARD WHEN HE
FOUND OUT THERE WAS CAKE.
259
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,293
(chuckles)
OKAY.
260
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:17,167
JUST WANNA MAKE SURE THIS ISN'T
ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST FOR HIM.
261
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:20,170
YOU KNOW KIDS. THEY NEED
A LITTLE TIME TO ADJUST.
262
00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:22,202
OH, KIDS ARE RESILIENT.
263
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,875
HE'LL BE FINE. I'M SO EXCITED!
264
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,136
(chuckles)
265
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,441
WELL, UH, WE WANTED YOU TWO
TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW,
266
00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:34,044
AND WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING.
267
00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:36,216
GOT A FEW MORE NEIGHBORS
TO SHOCK.
268
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,919
OH, WELL, WE ARE JUST
SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
269
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,391
YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS.
270
00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:43,193
(chuckles)
271
00:13:45,455 --> 00:13:46,997
(chuckles)
272
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:55,235
NOW IF WE'RE GOING WITH
THE DAMASK FOR THE SETTEE,
273
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:59,039
THEN I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT
WE DO THE COUCH IN THE CHENILLE.
274
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,941
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
275
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,974
THE ONLY WORD I UNDERSTOOD
THERE WAS "COUCH."
276
00:14:03,974 --> 00:14:05,976
I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM
LATER.
277
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:07,978
GOOD, BECAUSE THEY'RE
ONLY GOING TO HOLD THIS FABRIC
278
00:14:07,978 --> 00:14:10,020
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
279
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,022
WELL, I AM OFF.
280
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:15,125
OHH.
ISN'T THAT VASE DIVINE?
281
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,127
I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
282
00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:18,188
(chuckles)
283
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:21,861
I THOUGHT WE WERE
JUST TRYING OUT THE VASE.
284
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,235
I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM
LATER.
OKAY.
285
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:27,497
(Gabrielle) MM-HMM. THANK YOU.
286
00:14:27,497 --> 00:14:30,170
(door opens and closes)
287
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,172
(lowered voice)
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
288
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,444
SEVEN YEARS AGO,
EVELYN DID FRAN'S HOUSE.
289
00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:36,406
NOW? NO HOUSE.
290
00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:39,509
THAT'S CRAZY.
YOU ASK FRAN WHAT HAPPENED?
291
00:14:39,509 --> 00:14:41,881
NO! I DIDN'T WANT
TO EMBARRASS HER.
292
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,184
YOU MET HER IN LINE
FOR FREE SOUP.
293
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,886
HOW MUCH MORE EMBARRASSED
COULD SHE GET?
294
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,119
REMEMBER THAT DINNER PARTY
SHE GAVE?
295
00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:51,591
SHE HAD 20 PLACE SETTINGS
OF TIFFANY CHINA.
296
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:55,265
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN TO SOMEONE
WHO HAS TIFFANY CHINA?
297
00:14:55,265 --> 00:14:58,128
THIS IS $200 A YARD.
298
00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:01,231
TELL FRAN TO SAVE US
A PLACE IN LINE.
299
00:15:01,231 --> 00:15:03,203
I BET I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
300
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,075
SHE DRANK IT AWAY.
301
00:15:05,075 --> 00:15:07,077
THAT ONE NEW YEAR'S EVE
302
00:15:07,077 --> 00:15:09,940
WHERE SHE GOT SO PLOWED
SHE FELL IN THE KOI POND...
303
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:12,642
WHERE SHE LANDED ON YOU,
DRUNKY SUE.
304
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,117
EVERYBODY WAS HAMMERED
AT THAT PARTY.
305
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,549
WELL, THEN IT MUST'VE BEEN
A GAMBLING PROBLEM.
306
00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:22,252
BASED ON WHAT?
307
00:15:22,252 --> 00:15:25,195
SHE NEVER MISSED BINGO NIGHT
AT IMMACULATE HEART...
308
00:15:25,195 --> 00:15:28,058
AND SHE WAS LUTHERAN.
309
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:30,700
(chuckles) YOU REALLY THINK
SHE BINGO'ED HER HOUSE AWAY?
310
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,633
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
THERE HAS TO BE SOME REASON.
311
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,136
YOU DON'T FALL THAT FAR
THAT FAST
312
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,438
WITHOUT MAKING
SOME REALLY STUPID CHOICES.
313
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,640
WHY YOU GETTIN' SO ANGRY?
314
00:15:44,314 --> 00:15:46,716
(whispers) IT WAS
TIFFANY CHINA, CARLOS.
315
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,689
(laughter,
indistinct conversations)
316
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:02,993
AHA! THERE'S THE MAN
THAT RUINED MY FISHING TRIP.
317
00:16:02,993 --> 00:16:05,135
SORRY ABOUT THAT, DAVE.
OH, NO WORRIES.
318
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:08,438
HEY, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
AND SUSAN. CONGRATULATIONS.
319
00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,140
THANKS.
320
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,142
SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
321
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,144
WE HAVEN'T HAD
A CHANCE TO TALK SINCE...
322
00:16:14,144 --> 00:16:16,276
I DON'T KNOW,
PROBABLY THE FIRE.
323
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,209
UH, YEAH.
YOU WERE THE BIG HERO.
324
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:23,183
I WAS THE DOOFUS THAT GOT STUCK
IN THE MEN'S ROOM.
OH, THAT WAS
A HELL OF A NIGHT.
325
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,455
SURE WOULD LIKE
TO FORGET THAT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
326
00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:28,458
UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO GO DOWN
AND TALK TO THE COPS ON TUESDAY.
REALLY?
327
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,461
YEAH. I WENT DOWN TO CITY HALL
TO GET MY MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE,
328
00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:34,424
AND I RAN INTO ONE OF
THE DETECTIVES FROM THAT NIGHT,
329
00:16:34,424 --> 00:16:36,466
AND APPARENTLY, THEY'VE BEEN
TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME.
330
00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:39,499
SO NOW I GET TO GO DOWN THERE
THE DAY AFTER MY WEDDING.
331
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,171
SOME HONEYMOON, HUH?
332
00:16:41,171 --> 00:16:44,304
WOW. THOSE GUYS REALLY KNOW
HOW TO PUT A CRIMP IN YOUR DAY.
333
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,307
SO DID THEY SAY WHAT THEY WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT?
334
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,610
I GUESS THEY JUST WANNA KNOW
IF I SAW ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS.
335
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,683
HMM. DID YOU?
336
00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:56,516
MM, NO.
I MEAN, I WAS BACKSTAGE.
337
00:16:56,516 --> 00:17:00,350
I WAS HEADED TO THE MEN'S ROOM,
AND I RAN INTO--
338
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,292
(glasses shatter)
OH! UGH!
339
00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:04,154
I AM SO SORRY.
340
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:06,356
OH, NO. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
341
00:17:06,356 --> 00:17:08,728
I MEAN, THERE'S GOTTA BE A MOP
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
342
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,730
(chuckling)
THAT'S NOT COMING OUT.
343
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,434
OH, BREE CAN GET RID
OF THAT IN A JIFFY.
344
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,267
NOW WHERE DID SHE GO?
345
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:19,269
(shatters)
346
00:17:19,269 --> 00:17:22,172
(dog barks in distance)
347
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:23,813
(door rattling)
348
00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:26,216
(unlocks door)
349
00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:28,518
(whispers) OKAY. SHOWTIME.
(whispers)
WIPE YOUR FEET FIRST.
350
00:17:28,518 --> 00:17:30,520
I JUST HAD
THE CARPETS CLEANED.
351
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,522
(normal voice)
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE THIEVES
352
00:17:32,522 --> 00:17:35,225
DOESN'T MEAN
WE NEED TO BE UNTIDY.
353
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:42,792
(shoes scraping floor)
354
00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:49,699
(bells jingling)
ARE WE STEALING THIS?
355
00:17:49,699 --> 00:17:52,071
UH, YES. AS I RECALL,
IT'S QUITE VALUABLE.
356
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,644
WHAT ABOUT THIS?
OH, GOD, NO.
357
00:17:54,644 --> 00:17:56,706
THAT'S ORSON'S DENTAL INNOVATOR
OF THE YEAR AWARD.
358
00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:58,708
I'VE ALWAYS HATED
THAT THING.
359
00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:00,650
(thud)
OH, HERE.
360
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,354
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
361
00:18:04,354 --> 00:18:07,517
I, UH, TOOK SOME OF MY SILVER
OFF THE MANTLE,
362
00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:09,519
AND IT THREW OFF
THE BALANCE.
363
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:12,262
YEAH.
364
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:15,165
YOU'RE RIGHT. LET ME HELP.
365
00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:17,167
(clattering)
366
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,529
THERE. BALANCE RESTORED.
367
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,771
WAS THAT NECESSARY?
368
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:24,774
THIS PLACE HAS TO LOOK LIKE
IT WAS RANSACKED BY ROBBERS,
369
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:29,339
NOT SOMEONE'S
PERSONAL SHOPPER.
FINE! BUT DO YOU HAVE TO
DO IT WITH SUCH RELISH?
370
00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:31,341
(metal clanks)
371
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,344
HEY, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME
TO JUST GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS.
372
00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:37,517
SPEAKING OF WHICH... ARE YOU
NAILING ORSON LIKE WE DISCUSSED?
373
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,220
THAT IS
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
374
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,892
WELL, WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE
HE DOESN'T SUSPECT ANYTHING.
375
00:18:42,892 --> 00:18:45,795
I DO THE BARE MINIMUM.
NO MORE, NO LESS.
376
00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:50,300
SO IS HE JUST MISSIONARY?
377
00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:54,234
HE SEEMS LIKE A STRICTLY
MISSIONARY KIND OF GUY.
378
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,236
MUST YOU BE SO CRUDE?
379
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,638
MUST YOU ALWAYS BE
SUCH A PRISS?
380
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,670
YOU FREAK OUT
AT THE MENTION OF SEX.
381
00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:02,672
YOU NEVER WANT
TO MAKE A MESS.
382
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:04,844
YOU SUPPRESS EVERY SPONTANEOUS
URGE YOU EVER HAVE!
383
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,517
MAN, IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING
BEING YOU!
384
00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,519
YES, BEING A LADY
TAKES EFFORT.
385
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:12,222
WELL, MAYBE GIVE IT A REST
ONCE IN A WHILE.
386
00:19:12,222 --> 00:19:14,624
IT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU
HOW GOOD IT FEELS.
387
00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:17,327
YOU WANNA BE A NEANDERTHAL,
KARL? THAT'S YOUR CHOICE.
388
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:19,629
I PREFER TO BEHAVE
WITH CLASS AND DIGNITY.
389
00:19:19,629 --> 00:19:22,462
NOW MAY WE PLEASE FINISH
ROBBING MY HOME?
390
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:36,546
(clank)
391
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:41,311
BILL BROWN!
392
00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,583
IT'S TOM SCAVO.
393
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,286
TOM! OH, MY GOD!
394
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,288
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
395
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:51,291
WELL, JACKSON AND I ARE IN
THE SAME SOCCER LEAGUE.
396
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,263
LYNETTE, THIS IS BILL BROWN.
397
00:19:53,263 --> 00:19:55,265
WE WERE ROOMMATES
FRESHMEN YEAR IN COLLEGE.
HI.
398
00:19:55,265 --> 00:19:56,696
REALLY?
YEAH!
399
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,730
GOD, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
YOU HAVEN'T AGED A DAY.
HEY, RIGHT BACK AT YA.
400
00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:02,732
LIAR. YOU DIDN'T EVEN
RECOGNIZE ME.
401
00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:05,235
BACK UP A SECOND.
YOU GUYS WERE CLASSMATES?
YEAH.
402
00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:07,537
MEANING YOU WERE IN
THE SAME CLASS AT THE SAME TIME?
403
00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:10,340
THAT'S WHAT CLASSMATES MEANS,
LYNETTE. WE'RE THE SAME AGE.
404
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,781
(chuckles)
405
00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:14,284
ACTUALLY, I THINK
I'M SIX MONTHS OLDER.
406
00:20:14,284 --> 00:20:16,316
YOU'RE OLDER?!
407
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,788
I'M SORRY,
I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE...
408
00:20:18,788 --> 00:20:20,320
(chuckles nervously)
409
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,552
THAT THEY'RE OUT
OF STUFFED MUSHROOMS.
410
00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:24,294
EXCUSE ME.
411
00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:26,796
OKAY, MY WIFE'S ANNOYING,
BUT SHE IS RIGHT.
412
00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:29,259
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
WHAT IS IT? DIET? EXERCISE?
413
00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:31,761
YOU EATIN' A BOWL OF STEM CELLS
EVERY MORNING?
414
00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:34,264
(chuckles)
COME ON. WHAT'S GOING ON,
PETER PAN?
415
00:20:34,264 --> 00:20:36,536
OKAY...
YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?
416
00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,410
(indistinct conversations)
417
00:20:40,410 --> 00:20:41,541
HI!
418
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,013
THIS IS FOR YOU AND JACKSON.
CONGRATULATIONS! (laughs)
419
00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:47,547
AW, HOW SWEET. OH! AND HEAVY.
(laughs) SCORE.
(chuckles)
420
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,549
YEAH, WELL, WE CAN AFFORD
TO BE GENEROUS
421
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,482
NOW THAT I'M OFF THE HOOK
FOR ALIMONY.
422
00:20:52,482 --> 00:20:54,354
YEAH. WHAT?
423
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,825
YOU'RE GETTING REMARRIED.
424
00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:57,987
SO I CAN STOP
SENDING THAT CHECK EVERY MONTH.
425
00:20:57,987 --> 00:21:00,860
EVERYBODY GETS A GIFT.
426
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,862
RIGHT!
SCORE FOR YOU! (chuckles)
427
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,865
(chuckles)
UH, CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SEC?
428
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,397
YEAH?
429
00:21:07,397 --> 00:21:10,400
(laughter,
indistinct conversations)
430
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,873
OH, THANK YOU.
431
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,907
YOU GET ALIMONY?
432
00:21:17,907 --> 00:21:20,279
I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO PROUD
TO TAKE ALIMONY.
433
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,282
I WAS TOO PROUD TO ADMIT IT.
I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO TAKE IT.
434
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,415
I NEED THAT MONEY, JACKSON.
435
00:21:25,415 --> 00:21:27,917
WELL, I-I CAN TRY
TO CHIP IN.
"CHIP IN"?
436
00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:30,420
IT'S IS NOT A BIRTHDAY CAKE
FOR SHIRLEY IN ACCOUNTING.
437
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:34,023
IT'S MORTGAGE AND FOOD
AND INSURANCE.
438
00:21:34,023 --> 00:21:36,065
I'M SORRY,
BUT I CAN'T MARRY YOU.
439
00:21:36,065 --> 00:21:38,698
NO, SUSAN,
THEY'LL SEND ME BACK.
440
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,370
IT'S CANADA, NOT IRAN.
441
00:21:40,370 --> 00:21:42,902
IT'S LIKE AMERICA
WITH FREE HEALTH INSURANCE.
442
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,405
OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS
IMPORTANT TO YOU,
443
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:48,408
BUT I DEPEND ON THAT CHECK
EVERY MONTH.
AND I KNOW YOU DO.
444
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:51,381
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I
FINALLY FOUND A JOB THAT I LOVE,
445
00:21:51,381 --> 00:21:54,414
AND NOW I JUST GOTTA
GIVE IT UP.
446
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,916
WELL, LOOK, MAYBE...
I COULD TALK TO MIKE.
447
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,349
I COULD SEE IF WE COULD
WORK SOMETHING OUT.
448
00:21:59,349 --> 00:22:00,750
YOU'D DO THAT?
449
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:02,852
YEAH, I'LL TRY.
450
00:22:02,852 --> 00:22:05,355
DON'T THINK HE'S NOT GONNA
WANT HIS GIFT BACK.
451
00:22:05,355 --> 00:22:07,357
AND IT'S REALLY HEAVY, TOO.
452
00:22:13,463 --> 00:22:14,704
SO...
453
00:22:14,704 --> 00:22:17,407
YOU THOUGHT MY FRIEND BILL
LOOKED PRETTY FANTASTIC, HUH?
454
00:22:17,407 --> 00:22:19,409
OKAY, I WENT
A LITTLE OVERBOARD.
455
00:22:19,409 --> 00:22:21,411
YOU KNOW ME--TWO MARGARITAS,
AND I NEED A MUZZLE.
456
00:22:21,411 --> 00:22:23,413
NO, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU.
HE LOOKS REALLY YOUNG.
457
00:22:23,413 --> 00:22:25,415
I KNOW, RIGHT?
HE MUST TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
458
00:22:25,415 --> 00:22:27,417
ACTUALLY,
HE TOLD ME HIS SECRET,
459
00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:29,118
AND I'M THINKING OF DOING
THE SAME THING.
460
00:22:29,118 --> 00:22:33,052
NO, YOU'RE NOT HAVING
PLASTIC SURGERY.
461
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,424
IT'S MY FACE.
462
00:22:34,424 --> 00:22:36,556
UH, WE LIVE IN
A COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE,
463
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,558
SO HALF THAT FACE IS MINE.
464
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,561
FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GET THE HALF BELOW THE NOSE.
465
00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:44,664
BUT THESE WRINKLES UP HERE?
ALL GOING AWAY.
466
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,366
(sighs) TOM, MEN DON'T NEED
PLASTIC SURGERY.
467
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,139
THEY LOOK BETTER
AS THEY AGE.
468
00:22:50,139 --> 00:22:51,471
REALLY?
469
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,473
BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T
STOP TALKING
470
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:55,975
ABOUT HOW GREAT BILL LOOKED.
"YOU GUYS WERE CLASSMATES?
471
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:58,608
YOU MEAN THE SAME CLASS
AT THE SAME TIME?"
472
00:22:58,608 --> 00:23:01,681
(laughs) OKAY,
THAT'S A LOUSY IMPRESSION OF ME.
473
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:05,384
LOOK, BILL SAID IT REALLY GAVE
HIM A LEG UP IN JOB INTERVIEWS,
474
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,687
AND I COULD USE THAT
RIGHT NOW.
475
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:09,689
YOU DON'T NEED A FACE-LIFT.
476
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:12,391
WHAT IF I WENT OUT
AND GOT A BOOB JOB
477
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,824
AND CAME HOME WITH
BIG, GIANT SIDESHOW BOOBS?
478
00:23:14,824 --> 00:23:16,826
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
479
00:23:16,826 --> 00:23:19,629
I'D LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT
SOMEHOW.
480
00:23:21,471 --> 00:23:24,734
YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS.
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT!
481
00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:28,077
IT'S AN INVESTMENT IN OUR
FUTURE. WE CAN'T AFFORD NOT TO.
482
00:23:28,077 --> 00:23:30,580
I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR
AND MAKING AN APPOINTMENT.
483
00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:34,814
IF YOU WANT, I CAN ALSO GET
A PRICE CHECK ON A PAIR OF--
I'M NOT GETTING A BOOB JOB.
484
00:23:39,549 --> 00:23:41,891
(door unlocks)
485
00:23:41,891 --> 00:23:45,655
WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU
A NICE CUP OF EARL GREY...
486
00:23:47,597 --> 00:23:50,630
OH, DEAR GOD.
487
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:54,834
(gasps) ORSON,
WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!
488
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,507
IT WASN'T ME. I SWEAR.
489
00:24:07,176 --> 00:24:09,178
(woman) WE NEED MORE SILVERWARE
UP THERE.
490
00:24:09,178 --> 00:24:11,521
NO CUTS!
BACK OF THE LINE.
491
00:24:11,521 --> 00:24:14,654
OH, RELAX. I ALREADY
ATE DINNER AT HOME...
492
00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:17,657
IN MY BOX UNDER THE BRIDGE.
493
00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:21,160
FRAN?
494
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,133
OH, GOD. I WAS AFRAID
I WOULDN'T FIND YOU HERE.
495
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:26,996
AH, LUCKY YOU,
I'M STILL POOR.
496
00:24:26,996 --> 00:24:29,669
I FEEL BAD I DUCKED OUT
SO FAST THE OTHER DAY.
497
00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:31,671
AND I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT YOU A LOT,
498
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,973
AND I JUST--
I REALLY WANNA HELP.
499
00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,975
(sighs)
500
00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,910
WOW.
501
00:24:40,910 --> 00:24:42,582
THANK YOU. THANK YOU!
502
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,153
NOW...
503
00:24:44,153 --> 00:24:46,816
I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE
THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA...
504
00:24:46,816 --> 00:24:48,818
YOU KNOW...
505
00:24:48,818 --> 00:24:51,821
DRINKING WAS NEVER
MY PROBLEM, GABY.
506
00:24:51,821 --> 00:24:55,064
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
YOU WERE ALWAYS SO CLASSY.
507
00:24:55,064 --> 00:24:56,826
20, 40, 60...
508
00:24:56,826 --> 00:24:58,828
(whispers) WAS IT DRUGS?
509
00:24:58,828 --> 00:25:01,200
NO. I NEVER DID DRUGS.
510
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,872
(normal voice)
GOOD TO KNOW.
511
00:25:02,872 --> 00:25:04,173
80, 100.
512
00:25:04,173 --> 00:25:07,176
BECAUSE GAMBLING IS BAD ENOUGH
WITHOUT BEING HIGH.
513
00:25:07,176 --> 00:25:09,879
I NEVER GAMBLED
A DAY IN MY LIFE, GABY.
514
00:25:09,879 --> 00:25:13,212
WELL, THEN WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED?
(pounds tabletop)
515
00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:15,084
THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
516
00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:18,187
I WAS AT YOUR HOUSE.
YOU HAD SUCH LOVELY THINGS.
517
00:25:18,187 --> 00:25:21,090
YES, MARK AND I LIVED
REALLY WELL.
518
00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:23,753
PROBABLY A LITTLE...
TOO WELL.
519
00:25:23,753 --> 00:25:25,224
BUT WE WERE YOUNG,
520
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:28,227
AND WE THOUGHT WE HAD TIME
TO SAVE FOR THE FUTURE.
521
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:30,760
THEN HE DIED.
522
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,203
(whispers) MARK DIED?
523
00:25:34,203 --> 00:25:36,205
(normal voice) I DIDN'T KNOW.
524
00:25:36,205 --> 00:25:38,738
HE WAS SICK
A REALLY LONG TIME.
525
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:41,040
HE COULDN'T WORK.
HE LOST HIS INSURANCE.
526
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,043
BY THE TIME HE PASSED AWAY,
WE WERE COMPLETELY WIPED OUT.
527
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:46,245
OH, FRAN, I'M SO SORRY.
528
00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:50,179
YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY FAMILY
TO TURN TO? ANY FRIENDS?
529
00:25:50,179 --> 00:25:54,183
NO FAMILY, AND AS IT TURNS OUT,
NOT TOO MANY FRIENDS EITHER.
530
00:25:54,183 --> 00:25:57,226
LOOK, GABY,
I KNOW YOU CAME HERE
531
00:25:57,226 --> 00:26:00,289
WANTING TO FIND OUT WHAT I DID
TO MAKE THIS ALL HAPPEN.
532
00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,262
BUT THE TRUTH IS, WE'RE ALL
JUST AN ACCIDENT OR A TUMOR
533
00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:05,264
OR A BAD INVESTMENT AWAY
FROM...
534
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:08,197
(voice breaks)
STANDING IN LINE FOR FREE SOUP.
535
00:26:08,197 --> 00:26:09,338
THANK YOU.
536
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:14,604
I DON'T AGREE, FRAN.
537
00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:22,281
YOU KNOW, CARLOS WENT BLIND
FOR FIVE YEARS.
538
00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,984
WE WENT BROKE.
WE ALMOST LOST OUR HOUSE.
539
00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:27,987
BUT WE WORKED OUR ASSES OFF
AND WE MADE IT BACK.
540
00:26:27,987 --> 00:26:31,661
OH, SO JUST BECAUSE
YOU SURVIVED THAT,
541
00:26:31,661 --> 00:26:34,163
YOU THINK YOU'VE CROSSED
SOME KIND OF FINISH LINE,
542
00:26:34,163 --> 00:26:36,265
THAT NOTHING BAD
CAN HAPPEN AGAIN?
543
00:26:36,265 --> 00:26:38,297
WELL, NO, BUT--
LISTEN.
544
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:41,000
I HOPE IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
545
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,774
I HOPE YOU NEVER LOSE THAT
BIG, BEAUTIFUL HOME OF YOURS.
546
00:26:44,774 --> 00:26:48,007
GOD KNOWS I WISH I'D APPRECIATED
MINE MORE WHILE I HAD IT.
547
00:26:52,381 --> 00:26:55,244
THANK YOU AGAIN.
548
00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:15,234
REMIND ME AGAIN WHEN YOU'RE
GETTING YOUR TEETH CLEANED.
549
00:27:15,234 --> 00:27:17,837
UM... THE 14th.
550
00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:19,839
AND THE 15th,
WE HAVE TICKETS
551
00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:22,341
TO THAT PLAY
THAT YOU'RE DRAGGING ME TO.
552
00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,673
YES. WHY?
553
00:27:23,673 --> 00:27:26,175
I'M JUST--I'M TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT
554
00:27:26,175 --> 00:27:29,178
WHEN WOULD BE A GOOD TIME
TO GET MARRIED.
555
00:27:29,178 --> 00:27:31,851
I'M SORRY.
WHAT DID YOU JUST...
556
00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:33,322
I KNOW, I KNOW.
557
00:27:33,322 --> 00:27:36,025
NOT THE MOST ROMANTIC PROPOSAL
IN THE WORLD.
558
00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:39,028
I SHOULDN'T HAVE LED
WITH THE TEETH CLEANING.
559
00:27:39,028 --> 00:27:41,691
I FEEL I CAN OVERLOOK THAT.
560
00:27:41,691 --> 00:27:44,063
SO IS THAT A YES?
561
00:27:44,063 --> 00:27:46,665
YES! (laughs) IT'S A YES!
562
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:47,897
OH!
563
00:27:47,897 --> 00:27:49,238
(laughs)
564
00:27:49,238 --> 00:27:52,201
WOW! WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON?
565
00:27:52,201 --> 00:27:54,744
IT JUST SEEMED
LIKE THE RIGHT TIME.
566
00:27:54,744 --> 00:27:56,906
OH, MIKE.
567
00:27:56,906 --> 00:27:58,908
I'M SO HAPPY. (giggles)
(chuckles)
568
00:27:58,908 --> 00:28:00,950
I LOVE YOU.
569
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,687
(both speaking inaudibly)
570
00:28:10,219 --> 00:28:12,221
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
571
00:28:15,464 --> 00:28:17,366
(spritzing)
572
00:28:17,366 --> 00:28:19,368
I UNDERSTAND TAKING THINGS,
573
00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:22,832
BUT WHY SMASH SOMETHING
YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE BEHIND?
574
00:28:22,832 --> 00:28:25,975
(chuckles) THEY'RE ROBBERS,
DEAR. NOT PERSONAL SHOPPERS.
575
00:28:25,975 --> 00:28:28,277
YEAH, WELL, WHOEVER DID THIS
SHOULD BE SHOT.
576
00:28:28,277 --> 00:28:30,980
WELL, I WONDER IF THE VICTIMS
OF YOUR KLEPTOMANIA
577
00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:34,113
FELT THE SAME WAY.
578
00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:36,746
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
579
00:28:36,746 --> 00:28:39,248
I NEVER REALIZED WHAT
MY STEALING PUT PEOPLE THROUGH.
580
00:28:39,248 --> 00:28:40,920
MAYBE THIS IS KARMA.
581
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,391
WHAT IS THAT?
582
00:28:42,391 --> 00:28:44,023
OH.
583
00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:47,757
IT'S A PICTURE OF THE MASK
THEY STOLE.
584
00:28:47,757 --> 00:28:50,099
I DREW IT FROM MEMORY.
585
00:28:50,099 --> 00:28:52,101
WOW.
586
00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:54,233
HMM.
REMEMBER WHERE WE GOT IT?
587
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,935
WAS IT FLORENCE?
588
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:57,266
VENICE.
589
00:28:57,266 --> 00:28:59,769
WE WALKED PAST THAT LITTLE SHOP
UNDER THE BRIDGE,
590
00:28:59,769 --> 00:29:01,370
AND YOU SAW IT IN THE WINDOW.
591
00:29:01,370 --> 00:29:03,412
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
592
00:29:03,412 --> 00:29:04,743
MM.
593
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:07,416
YOU TOLD ME YOU'D BEEN
WEARING A MASK ALL YOUR LIFE,
594
00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:09,418
BUT WITH ME, YOU FELT--
595
00:29:09,418 --> 00:29:12,421
LIKE I COULD FINALLY
TAKE IT OFF AND BE MYSELF.
596
00:29:12,421 --> 00:29:14,253
(chuckles)
YEAH.
597
00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:16,385
(mouths word)
598
00:29:16,385 --> 00:29:18,788
ANYWAY, I FAXED IT
TO THE SHOP IN VENICE.
599
00:29:18,788 --> 00:29:20,790
THEY SAID THEY COULD
MAKE A NEW ONE.
600
00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:23,392
I SHOULD HAVE IT FOR YOU
IN ABOUT A MONTH.
601
00:29:23,392 --> 00:29:25,764
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT
TO ALL THAT TROUBLE
602
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,767
THEN YOU MUST NOT KNOW
HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME.
603
00:29:36,175 --> 00:29:39,478
(telephone rings)
604
00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:41,250
(ring)
605
00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:42,351
(beep)
606
00:29:42,351 --> 00:29:44,413
HELLO? OH, HI, DAVE.
607
00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,916
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
608
00:29:46,916 --> 00:29:49,919
WELL, I FIGURED IT WAS TIME
TO GET BACK TO WORK,
609
00:29:49,919 --> 00:29:52,421
SO I PUT TOGETHER
A SPEAKING TOUR--
610
00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:54,493
SEATTLE, PORTLAND,
MY USUAL ROUTE.
611
00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:58,968
WORK? ARE YOU SURE
IT'S NOT TOO SOON?
Well, I have to do it
eventually.
612
00:29:58,968 --> 00:30:00,269
ANYWAY, I WAS HOPING
613
00:30:00,269 --> 00:30:03,132
YOU COULD CHECK IN
ON THE HOUSE NOW AND THEN.
614
00:30:03,132 --> 00:30:05,134
OF COURSE.
(knock on door)
615
00:30:05,134 --> 00:30:08,137
OH, SOMEONE'S AT MY DOOR.
LET ME GET RID OF THEM.
616
00:30:10,539 --> 00:30:12,541
HEY, KATHERINE,
IS MIKE HERE?
617
00:30:12,541 --> 00:30:15,114
NO, HE'S AT WORK.
OH, SHOOT. UM...
618
00:30:15,114 --> 00:30:18,888
WELL, CAN YOU TELL HIM TO CALL
ME AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK?
SURE.
619
00:30:18,888 --> 00:30:20,049
(sighs)
620
00:30:20,049 --> 00:30:22,451
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
621
00:30:22,451 --> 00:30:24,023
UH, WELL...
622
00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:28,397
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? MIKE'S
PROBABLY GONNA TELL YOU ANYWAY,
623
00:30:28,397 --> 00:30:31,030
SO JUST DON'T TELL
ANYONE ELSE, OKAY?
624
00:30:31,030 --> 00:30:33,332
THERE'S NOT A PROBLEM
WITH THE WEDDING, IS THERE?
625
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,504
IT'S STILL ON, RIGHT?
626
00:30:35,504 --> 00:30:38,367
IT DEPENDS.
627
00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:40,539
JACKSON AND I
ARE ONLY GETTING MARRIED
628
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,411
BECAUSE HE NEEDS
HIS GREEN CARD.
629
00:30:42,411 --> 00:30:44,513
OH.
630
00:30:44,513 --> 00:30:47,516
AND THEN I REALIZED
THAT I WOULD LOSE MY ALIMONY.
631
00:30:47,516 --> 00:30:50,349
SO UNLESS MIKE WILL KEEP
PAYING ME, I CAN'T GET MARRIED.
632
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,381
YOU HAVE TO.
633
00:30:52,381 --> 00:30:54,253
I MEAN, POOR JACKSON.
634
00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:57,887
I-I WOULD HATE TO SEE HIM
DEPORTED BACK TO...
635
00:30:57,887 --> 00:31:00,890
WHERE'S HE FROM?
CANADA.
636
00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:04,233
OH! OH! BRR!
WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!
637
00:31:04,233 --> 00:31:07,366
IF YOU WANT,
I COULD TALK TO MIKE FOR YOU.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
638
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,969
JUST TELL HIM
I NEED AN ANSWER QUICKLY
639
00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:11,971
'CAUSE THE WEDDING IS MONDAY.
640
00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:15,874
WELL, DON'T CANCEL ANYTHING YET.
YOU'LL HAVE YOUR ANSWER TONIGHT.
641
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:17,406
THANKS.
642
00:31:24,954 --> 00:31:27,456
SORRY, DAVE.
643
00:31:27,456 --> 00:31:28,988
DAVE?
644
00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:32,321
(beep)
645
00:31:32,321 --> 00:31:35,124
(chuckles)
646
00:31:44,473 --> 00:31:45,634
HEY.
(telephone ringing)
647
00:31:45,634 --> 00:31:48,407
HEY, LYNETTE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
648
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:51,410
OH, MY HUSBAND WANTS
TO SPEND MONEY WE DON'T HAVE
649
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,682
ON A FACE-LIFT HE DOESN'T NEED,
SO... NOT GREAT.
650
00:31:53,682 --> 00:31:56,085
MM, TELL HIM TO BE CAREFUL.
651
00:31:56,085 --> 00:31:58,387
HAVE YOU SEEN
BRUCE IN PAYROLL?
652
00:31:58,387 --> 00:32:01,450
HE JUST WENT IN
FOR A LITTLE NIP AND TUCK.
653
00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,953
AND? HOW'S HE LOOK?
654
00:32:03,953 --> 00:32:06,956
LIKE HE'S STANDING
IN A WIND TUNNEL.
655
00:32:06,956 --> 00:32:08,958
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
656
00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,429
POOR BRUCE.
657
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,031
YEP.
658
00:32:14,463 --> 00:32:16,135
WHAT'S HIS EXTENSION?
659
00:32:16,135 --> 00:32:19,268
AND I'M THINKING
I MAY HAVE ACTED RASHLY.
660
00:32:19,268 --> 00:32:22,541
I MEAN, EVERY MARRIAGE HAS
ITS ROUGH PATCHES.
661
00:32:22,541 --> 00:32:25,544
ORSON LOVES ME,
AND DEEP DOWN, HE'S A GOOD MAN.
662
00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:28,547
IF I STICK WITH THIS,
MAYBE WE CAN MAKE IT WORK.
663
00:32:28,547 --> 00:32:30,549
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING
TO ME?
664
00:32:30,549 --> 00:32:33,152
DON'T NEED TO.
HEARD IT ALL BEFORE.
665
00:32:33,152 --> 00:32:34,453
OH, REALLY?
666
00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:37,256
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
20 YEARS.
667
00:32:37,256 --> 00:32:39,358
AND TRUST ME,
668
00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:41,390
EVERY WOMAN GETS COLD FEET.
669
00:32:41,390 --> 00:32:44,393
(ice cubes clink)
"AM I MAKING A MISTAKE?"
670
00:32:44,393 --> 00:32:46,395
"WAS HE REALLY THAT BAD?"
671
00:32:46,395 --> 00:32:49,498
"MAYBE I COULD TRY HARDER."
672
00:32:49,498 --> 00:32:52,441
AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHAT I TELL THEM--
673
00:32:52,441 --> 00:32:54,443
YOU'RE NOT MAKING A MISTAKE.
674
00:32:54,443 --> 00:32:56,445
HE REALLY IS THAT BAD.
675
00:32:56,445 --> 00:32:59,078
(opens drawer)
AND NO MATTER
HOW HARD YOU TRY,
676
00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:01,150
HE'S STILL GONNA BE
THE SAME JERK
677
00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:04,153
WHO SENT YOU INTO THIS OFFICE
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
678
00:33:04,153 --> 00:33:06,155
OH. SO I'M JUST LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE,
679
00:33:06,155 --> 00:33:08,217
AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
I'M GOING TO SAY.
680
00:33:08,217 --> 00:33:09,358
YEP.
681
00:33:09,358 --> 00:33:13,192
I EVEN KNOW THE STUFF
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY.
682
00:33:13,192 --> 00:33:15,064
I DOUBT THAT.
683
00:33:15,064 --> 00:33:17,496
LET ME GIVE IT A SHOT.
684
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,498
(pours liquid)
YOU'VE BEEN THINKING,
685
00:33:19,498 --> 00:33:22,171
"WHAT HAPPENS IF
I WALK AWAY FROM ORSON
686
00:33:22,171 --> 00:33:25,634
AND EVERYTHING I INVESTED
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?"
687
00:33:28,477 --> 00:33:32,181
"WILL I EVER FIND
ANOTHER MAN?"
688
00:33:34,483 --> 00:33:38,187
WILL YOU SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ALONE?
689
00:33:40,689 --> 00:33:42,591
CLOSE?
690
00:33:45,354 --> 00:33:47,756
IN THE BALLPARK.
691
00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:52,431
WELL, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
692
00:33:52,431 --> 00:33:54,433
YOU'VE GOT NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
693
00:33:57,706 --> 00:34:01,070
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL,
ELEGANT, CLASSY WOMAN,
694
00:34:01,070 --> 00:34:04,343
AND THERE'S NO WAY
YOU'RE GONNA END UP ALONE.
695
00:34:12,781 --> 00:34:15,484
AND DO YOU SAY THAT
TO EVERY WOMAN, TOO?
696
00:34:15,484 --> 00:34:16,825
NO.
697
00:34:16,825 --> 00:34:19,528
I MEAN, I GET SOME REAL UGGOS
IN HERE.
698
00:34:19,528 --> 00:34:21,830
YOU KNOW, THE KIND
THAT ARE GONNA DIE ALONE
699
00:34:21,830 --> 00:34:25,334
AND GET EATEN BY THEIR CATS.
(chuckles)
700
00:34:25,334 --> 00:34:26,595
CHARMING.
701
00:34:26,595 --> 00:34:30,339
SO ARE WE BACK IN BUSINESS?
702
00:34:30,339 --> 00:34:34,343
SEND ME THE PAPERS
WHEN THEY'RE READY.
703
00:34:34,343 --> 00:34:38,747
(door opens and closes)
704
00:34:41,110 --> 00:34:43,112
HONEY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
705
00:34:43,112 --> 00:34:46,115
I BROUGHT SOMEONE HOME FROM WORK
I WANT YOU TO MEET.
(groans) W--
706
00:34:46,115 --> 00:34:49,118
OHH.
YEAH. IT TURNS OUT
HE GOT THE SAME PROCEDURE
707
00:34:49,118 --> 00:34:51,490
THAT YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT GETTING.
708
00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:54,763
SO I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD
CHAT HIM UP ABOUT IT.
SO YOU'RE FINALLY
ON BOARD WITH THIS?
709
00:34:54,763 --> 00:34:56,795
WELL, LIKE YOU SAID,
IT'S YOUR FACE.
710
00:34:56,795 --> 00:35:00,529
COME ON, I'M DYING FOR YOU
TO MEET BRUCE.
711
00:35:04,373 --> 00:35:06,875
BRUCE, I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY HUSBAND TOM.
712
00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:08,677
TOM, THIS IS BRUCE.
713
00:35:08,677 --> 00:35:12,811
HI, TOM.
714
00:35:12,811 --> 00:35:16,415
SO, UM, LYNETTE TELLS ME
715
00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:19,388
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HAVING
A LITTLE ELECTIVE SURGERY.
716
00:35:19,388 --> 00:35:22,151
DID SHE?
MM-HMM.
717
00:35:22,151 --> 00:35:26,295
NOW YOU MAY NOT
BE ABLE TO TELL,
718
00:35:26,295 --> 00:35:28,857
BUT I'VE HAD WORK DONE.
719
00:35:28,857 --> 00:35:32,631
REALLY? (chuckles nervously)
HAVE THEY FINISHED?
720
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,404
YEAH.
(Lynette chuckles)
721
00:35:35,404 --> 00:35:38,667
NOW I SHOULD WARN YOU
THAT, UH...
722
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,470
AFTER THEY OPERATE,
IT LOOKS A LITTLE WEIRD.
723
00:35:41,470 --> 00:35:44,142
OH, I WAS WONDERING
ABOUT THAT. YEAH.
724
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,745
BUT EVENTUALLY IT SETTLES,
LIKE THIS.
725
00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:48,577
MM.
726
00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:54,823
(sighs)
727
00:35:56,455 --> 00:35:58,427
ISN'T IT EXCITING, TOM?
728
00:35:58,427 --> 00:36:01,490
IN A FEW WEEKS, YOU ARE GONNA
LOOK JUST LIKE BRUCE.
729
00:36:03,732 --> 00:36:07,636
HEY, IF YOU WANT, I'LL GIVE YOU
THE NAME OF MY SURGEON.
730
00:36:07,636 --> 00:36:11,300
YES. I DEFINITELY WANT THE NAME
OF THE GUY WHO DID THAT.
731
00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:14,343
LYNETTE, UM, BRUCE LOOKS LIKE
HE COULD USE SOMETHING TO DRINK,
732
00:36:14,343 --> 00:36:16,645
AND I KNOW THAT I SURE COULD.
733
00:36:16,645 --> 00:36:19,548
C-COULD YOU EXCUSE US
FOR A SEC? (laughs)
734
00:36:22,881 --> 00:36:25,784
VERY CLEVER, LYNETTE--INVITING
THE JOKER OVER TO SCARE ME.
735
00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:28,787
I WANTED YOU TO SEE THE FACE
THEY DON'T PUT IN THE BROCHURE.
736
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:31,790
I WILL BE HAVING MY WORK DONE
BY A REPUTABLE SURGEON.
737
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,293
BRUCE LOOKS LIKE
HIS WAS DONE BY A BEAR.
738
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:36,595
(laughs) THAT'S MY POINT.
(liquid pours)
739
00:36:36,595 --> 00:36:39,568
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
THESE THINGS WILL TURN OUT.
(sets down bottle)
740
00:36:39,568 --> 00:36:42,571
WELL, I AM WILLING TO TAKE
THAT RISK. I'M DOING IT.
741
00:36:42,571 --> 00:36:44,703
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO STUBBORN?
742
00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,905
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?
743
00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:50,579
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
PLASTIC SURGERY.
744
00:36:50,579 --> 00:36:51,740
WHAT?
745
00:36:51,740 --> 00:36:55,544
TOM, IF YOU'RE UNSATISFIED
WITH YOUR LOOKS,
746
00:36:55,544 --> 00:36:59,288
SOMEDAY YOU'RE GONNA
BE UNSATISFIED WITH MINE.
747
00:36:59,288 --> 00:37:00,489
NO.
748
00:37:00,489 --> 00:37:01,990
NO.
YES.
749
00:37:01,990 --> 00:37:05,894
YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT ME
SOMEDAY WITH YOUR BRAND-NEW FACE
750
00:37:05,894 --> 00:37:08,627
AND SAY,
"WHEN DID SHE GET SO OLD?"
751
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:12,531
WE WON'T LOOK LIKE
WE BELONG TOGETHER ANYMORE.
752
00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:15,904
LYNETTE, I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT
GETTIN' RID OF A FEW WRINKLES.
753
00:37:15,904 --> 00:37:17,906
BUT I DON'T SEE
YOUR WRINKLES, TOM.
754
00:37:17,906 --> 00:37:19,908
I SEE OUR WHOLE LIFE
TOGETHER.
755
00:37:21,510 --> 00:37:23,912
THIS...
756
00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:28,547
IS YOU WORRYING ABOUT HOW
YOU'RE GOING TO PROVIDE FOR US.
757
00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:31,520
THIS IS PENNY
FALLING OUT OF THE TREE HOUSE
758
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,652
AND BREAKING HER ARM.
759
00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:36,525
THIS IS MY CANCER.
760
00:37:38,727 --> 00:37:41,430
THESE ARE
THE MILLIONS OF LAUGHS
761
00:37:41,430 --> 00:37:43,732
THAT GOT US THROUGH
ALL THOSE TOUGH TIMES.
762
00:37:45,964 --> 00:37:48,767
IT'S LIKE
A MAP OF OUR MARRIAGE,
763
00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:51,670
AND I DON'T WANT
TO LOSE IT.
764
00:37:51,670 --> 00:37:54,373
AND IT IF KEEPS ME
FROM GETTING A JOB?
765
00:37:56,405 --> 00:37:59,007
YOU'RE GONNA GET A JOB,
766
00:37:59,007 --> 00:38:01,980
AND IT'LL BE BECAUSE THEY'RE
IMPRESSED BY YOUR EXPERIENCE,
767
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:03,982
NOT YOUR WRINKLE-FREE FACE.
768
00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:07,586
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU MEAN.
769
00:38:07,586 --> 00:38:09,658
AND I LOVE YOUR FACE, TOO.
770
00:38:09,658 --> 00:38:11,460
MMM.
771
00:38:11,460 --> 00:38:13,492
MMM.
772
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:16,325
AND THIS WRINKLE HERE,
THAT'S WHEN--
773
00:38:16,325 --> 00:38:19,628
THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, TOM.
774
00:38:19,628 --> 00:38:22,631
COME ON. MWAH.
775
00:38:24,333 --> 00:38:26,535
(cell phone alert beeps)
776
00:38:29,608 --> 00:38:31,079
HEY.
777
00:38:31,079 --> 00:38:32,611
GOOD NEWS.
778
00:38:32,611 --> 00:38:34,983
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING
FAKE MARRIED AFTER ALL.
779
00:38:34,983 --> 00:38:37,386
REALLY?
YEAH.
780
00:38:37,386 --> 00:38:40,549
MIKE AGREED TO KEEP PAYING ME
ALIMONY. HE JUST SENT ME A TEXT.
781
00:38:40,549 --> 00:38:43,392
OH, MAN. THAT'S A RELIEF.
(cell phone beeps)
782
00:38:43,392 --> 00:38:44,853
AND UNBELIEVABLY GENEROUS.
783
00:38:44,853 --> 00:38:48,096
I'M GONNA SEND HIM
A THANK-YOU RIGHT NOW.
784
00:38:48,096 --> 00:38:51,059
(alert chimes)
785
00:38:51,059 --> 00:38:54,102
(Katherine) YOU'RE WELCOME.
786
00:38:54,102 --> 00:38:56,405
(hits button)
787
00:38:56,405 --> 00:38:57,866
(hits button)
788
00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:15,053
YOU KNOW,
I REALLY CAN'T TELL YOU
789
00:39:15,053 --> 00:39:18,126
HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE
YOU DOING THIS FOR ME, SUSAN.
790
00:39:18,126 --> 00:39:20,589
AND I PROMISE,
AS LONG AS I'M HERE,
791
00:39:20,589 --> 00:39:22,591
I'LL PITCH IN AROUND THE HOUSE,
RUN ERRANDS.
792
00:39:22,591 --> 00:39:24,733
YOU KNOW,
JUST LIKE A REAL HUSBAND.
793
00:39:24,733 --> 00:39:26,895
(chuckles) CLEARLY, YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN MARRIED BEFORE.
794
00:39:26,895 --> 00:39:30,038
WELL, YOU KNOW,
JUST BECAUSE THIS IS, UM...
795
00:39:30,038 --> 00:39:33,001
A FAKE MARRIAGE, DOESN'T MEAN
IT CAN'T BE WONDERFUL.
796
00:39:33,001 --> 00:39:36,004
WELL, I'VE BEEN IN SOME
REAL MARRIAGES THAT WEREN'T,
797
00:39:36,004 --> 00:39:38,947
SO... MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
798
00:39:42,150 --> 00:39:45,153
(rattling)
799
00:39:46,885 --> 00:39:49,518
(chuckles) OH, LOOK. CANS.
800
00:39:49,518 --> 00:39:52,060
YOU CAN'T HAVE A WEDDING
WITHOUT CANS AND SIGNAGE!
801
00:39:52,060 --> 00:39:53,662
SWEET! (laughs)
802
00:39:53,662 --> 00:39:56,665
LET'S GET TO THE CAR WASH
ON OUR WAY TO THE COURTHOUSE.
MM-HMM.
803
00:39:58,166 --> 00:39:59,668
(tires screech)
804
00:40:01,630 --> 00:40:02,601
JACKSON BRADDOCK?
805
00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:03,702
YES?
806
00:40:03,702 --> 00:40:05,874
WE'RE WITH IMMIGRATION.
807
00:40:05,874 --> 00:40:08,036
YOU'RE IN THE COUNTRY
ON AN EXPIRED VISA.
808
00:40:08,036 --> 00:40:10,539
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
COME WITH US.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
809
00:40:10,539 --> 00:40:13,542
YOU--YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM NOW.
MA'AM,
I NEED YOU TO STEP BACK.
810
00:40:13,542 --> 00:40:15,514
SUSAN, THERE'S A BUSINESS CARD
ON THE DRESSER
811
00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:17,846
WITH AN ATTORNEY'S NUMBER. WOULD
YOU CALL HIM FOR ME, PLEASE?
812
00:40:17,846 --> 00:40:21,750
PLEASE, CAN'T THIS WAIT?
WE'RE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED.
NOT TODAY YOU'RE NOT.
813
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:24,453
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS?
UH... IMMIGRATION AGENTS,
814
00:40:24,453 --> 00:40:26,455
AND I THINK THEY'RE...
(car door shuts)
815
00:40:26,455 --> 00:40:28,457
SENDING JACKSON BACK TO CANADA.
816
00:40:46,174 --> 00:40:49,778
(cell phone rings)
817
00:40:49,778 --> 00:40:53,582
(ring)
818
00:40:53,582 --> 00:40:55,654
(beep)
819
00:40:55,654 --> 00:40:58,657
HELLO?
(woman) May I speak
with, uh, Bree Van De Kamp?
820
00:40:58,657 --> 00:41:01,530
OH, SHE'S NOT IN AT THE MOMENT.
CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE?
821
00:41:01,530 --> 00:41:03,992
Uh, yeah, this is Sheila
with Weston Brothers Storage.
822
00:41:03,992 --> 00:41:06,995
It's about the storage unit
she just rented.
STORAGE UNIT?
823
00:41:06,995 --> 00:41:08,997
Uh, yeah, we overcharged her
on the deposit.
824
00:41:08,997 --> 00:41:10,999
Tell her not to worry.
825
00:41:10,999 --> 00:41:13,001
We're gonna deduct it
from her next bill.
826
00:41:13,001 --> 00:41:15,003
OKAY. UH, THANK YOU.
You're welcome.
827
00:41:15,003 --> 00:41:16,505
(beep)
828
00:41:18,647 --> 00:41:21,980
EVERYONE WEARS
SOME KIND OF MASK,
829
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,982
SO YOU MUST LOOK CLOSELY
830
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:27,756
TO FIND THE TRUTH
THAT LIES BENEATH.
831
00:41:27,756 --> 00:41:28,757
(keys jangle)
832
00:41:28,757 --> 00:41:30,889
HI. MWAH.
(door opens)
833
00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:35,964
SOME CONCEAL ANXIETY
ABOUT GROWING OLDER.
834
00:41:39,568 --> 00:41:43,231
SOME HIDE FEARS
OF FINANCIAL RUIN.
835
00:41:47,706 --> 00:41:50,178
(gasps, laughing)
836
00:41:50,178 --> 00:41:55,544
OTHERS COVER UP A LOVE
THAT CONTINUES TO LINGER.
837
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,118
(door creaks)
838
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:06,194
AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE
WHO LET THEIR MASKS SLIP.
839
00:42:11,059 --> 00:42:13,101
IF YOU LOOK INTO THEIR EYES,
840
00:42:13,101 --> 00:42:16,605
YOU'LL SEE
WHO THEY REALLY ARE...
841
00:42:16,605 --> 00:42:22,140
AND EXACTLY WHAT
THEY'RE CAPABLE OF.
62953
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