All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S05E21.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,671 --> 00:00:02,133 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,206 DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP HAVE A FUTURE? CAN'T WE JUST KEEP 3 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,778 GOING THE WAY WE ARE? JACKSON LEFT. 4 00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:11,082 ORSON'S LYING TO ME AGAIN. BREE MADE A DECISION. 5 00:00:11,082 --> 00:00:13,044 SO I THINK I HAVE TO DIVORCE HIM. KARL SIGNED UP. 6 00:00:13,044 --> 00:00:15,516 KARL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 7 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,388 WELL, I JUST ENROLLED EVAN. 8 00:00:17,388 --> 00:00:19,190 WOW. 9 00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:22,093 AND SUSAN CONFESSED. MIKE AND I GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT. 10 00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:24,325 MIKE WAS DRIVING, RIGHT? THAT'S WHAT WE SAID, 11 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,298 BUT IT WASN'T TRUE. HE TOOK THE BLAME FOR ME. 12 00:00:32,803 --> 00:00:34,805 (Mary Alice) ON THIS STREET, 13 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:38,069 THE BARGAINING BEGINS AT SUNRISE... 14 00:00:38,069 --> 00:00:42,273 AN OLD WOMAN OFFERS A PAPERBOY A GENEROUS TIP 15 00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:45,546 IF HE'LL THROW THE PAPER ONTO HER PORCH... 16 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:50,281 A WIFE TELLS HER HUSBAND SHE'LL MAKE HIS FAVORITE DINNER 17 00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:53,584 IF HE'LL BRING HOME ROSES... 18 00:00:53,584 --> 00:00:57,428 A MAN TELLS HIS NEIGHBOR HE'LL TAKE IN HIS GARBAGE CANS 19 00:00:57,428 --> 00:01:00,661 THE DAY SHE FINALLY MOWS HER LAWN. 20 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:04,135 YES, ON WISTERIA LANE, 21 00:01:04,135 --> 00:01:06,767 EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO BARGAIN-- 22 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,200 ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE. 23 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,443 I DON'T WANT OATMEAL. CAN I HAVE PANCAKES? 24 00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:15,206 KATHERINE'S NOT A SHORT ORDER COOK, BUDDY. 25 00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:18,149 IF SHE MADE OATMEAL FOR BREAKFAST, WE'RE HAVING OATMEAL. 26 00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:21,312 I TELL YOU WHAT, M.J. IF YOU FINISH JUST HALF OF IT, 27 00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,854 I WILL MAKE CANDIED APPLES FOR YOUR SLEEPOVER. 28 00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:28,189 I LOVE CANDY APPLES. SHE'S LETTING YOU OFF EASY. YOU SHOULD THANK HER. 29 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,860 THANK YOU, KATHERINE. 30 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:33,124 YOU ARE SO WELCOME, YOU SWEET THING. 31 00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:36,297 DAD, ARE YOU GONNA MARRY KATHERINE? 32 00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:41,672 (mouth full) UM... (chuckles) 33 00:01:41,672 --> 00:01:44,235 THAT'S, UM... 34 00:01:44,235 --> 00:01:45,636 I DON'T KNOW. 35 00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:47,308 WHY NOT? 36 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:52,112 OH, WELL, OH, BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE. 37 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,814 WHY NOT? 38 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,647 M.J., YOU'RE BEING RUDE. 39 00:01:56,647 --> 00:01:59,650 OH, I'M NOT OFFENDED. 40 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,454 DON'T YOU WANNA MARRY KATHERINE? 41 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:05,326 (laughs) WELL... 42 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,627 I LOVE HER. 43 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,330 SHE'S ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC. 44 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,862 SO WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER? 45 00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,205 CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE? 46 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:16,307 ARE YOU KIDDING? 47 00:02:17,568 --> 00:02:20,471 BUDDY, UM, WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE, 48 00:02:20,471 --> 00:02:22,343 THE TRUTH IS... 49 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,346 WOW. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME? I'M LATE FOR WORK. 50 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,449 (keys jangle) WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS LATER. 51 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,580 COWARD. 52 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:32,823 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 53 00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:35,586 HOW'D I DO? 54 00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:37,358 YOU WERE GREAT. 55 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,290 BUT HE DIDN'T ANSWER ME. 56 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:42,333 DOESN'T MATTER. ISSUE'S ON THE TABLE. 57 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,365 YES, ON THIS STREET, 58 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,468 THE NEGOTIATING BEGINS AT SUNRISE, 59 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,470 AND IT DOESN'T END... 60 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,472 HERE'S THE ICE CREAM I PROMISED YOU. 61 00:02:51,472 --> 00:03:06,457 UNTIL SOMEONE GETS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. 62 00:03:06,457 --> 00:03:09,320 WALTER BERGEN WAS A DIVORCE LAWYER, 63 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,493 AND THE WOMEN WHO HIRED HIM ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY 64 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:15,696 ABOUT THE MEN THEY WERE DIVORCING. 65 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,728 HE'S ALWAYS TALKING TO HIS GRANDMOTHER, 66 00:03:17,728 --> 00:03:20,731 WHO DIED SIX YEARS AGO. 67 00:03:20,731 --> 00:03:22,733 HE SPENDS ALL HIS MONEY ON HOOKERS, 68 00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:25,506 WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE WOMEN. 69 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,938 HE SAYS HE NEEDS MORE MONEY FOR THE CHILDREN, 70 00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:29,440 AND BY "CHILDREN," 71 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,483 I MEAN RACEHORSES. 72 00:03:32,483 --> 00:03:35,946 YES, WALTER BERGEN THOUGHT HE HAD HEARD IT ALL 73 00:03:35,946 --> 00:03:40,751 UNTIL THE DAY WHEN ONE OF HIS CLIENTS ACTUALLY SAID... 74 00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:44,325 MY HUSBAND IS A DECENT MAN, AND I WANT TO DO RIGHT BY HIM. 75 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,456 HMM. 76 00:03:45,456 --> 00:03:48,859 WOMEN WHO SEEK MY SERVICES RARELY TAKE THAT ATTITUDE. 77 00:03:48,859 --> 00:03:51,662 WELL, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A GOOD PERSON. 78 00:03:51,662 --> 00:03:53,464 I'M SURE YOU ARE. 79 00:03:53,464 --> 00:03:55,506 AND I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. 80 00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:56,807 THE INCOME HE'LL DERIVE 81 00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:59,510 FROM HIS HALF OF THE CATERING BUSINESS ALONE SHOULD-- 82 00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:01,572 WAIT. I'M NOT PLANNING ON GIVING HIM HALF. 83 00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:03,474 IT'S MY BUSINESS. 84 00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:06,577 WHICH YOU STARTED AFTER YOU WERE MARRIED. 85 00:04:06,577 --> 00:04:09,249 THAT ENTITLES HIM TO HALF. 86 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,482 I-I MAY HAVE OVERSTATED THINGS 87 00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:13,684 WHEN I DESCRIBED MY HUSBAND AS A DECENT MAN. 88 00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:17,257 HE ACTUALLY HAS A WIDE VARIETY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. 89 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,361 MRS. HODGE, IT'S STATE LAW. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 90 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,363 I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT FOR $300 AN HOUR, 91 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,495 YOU HAVE SOME LAWYER TRICKS UP YOUR SLEEVE 92 00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:26,497 TO HELP ME PROTECT MY BUSINESS. 93 00:04:26,497 --> 00:04:29,770 SURELY YOU'RE NOT ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING CRIMINAL? 94 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,805 MRS. HODGE, DIDN'T YOU SAY 95 00:04:34,805 --> 00:04:38,809 YOU LIKE TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS A GOOD PERSON? 96 00:04:38,809 --> 00:04:41,352 WELL, CLEARLY, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF 97 00:04:41,352 --> 00:04:44,585 AS A RICH PERSON EVEN MORE. 98 00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:49,990 OH! FULL HOUSE. 99 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,693 BREE TAKES THE HIGH. GABY GETS THE LOW. SPLIT THE POT. 100 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,595 OH, I HATE SPLITTING THE POT. 101 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:57,698 WELL, THAT'S THE RULE. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. 102 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,930 SO STOP BITCHING. WELL, YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. 103 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:03,404 I AM THE WIFE OF FAIRVIEW'S LATINO BUSINESSMAN OF THE YEAR. 104 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,706 HEY! SO HE FINALLY WON? 105 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,409 (laughs) YEAH. THERE'S GONNA BE A HUGE DINNER, 106 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,482 AND WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE WITH THE MAYOR AND HIS WIFE. 107 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,914 OH, NOT NECESSARILY. I HEAR THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED, 108 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,787 AND IT'S GONNA GET UGLY. (Katherine) REALLY? HOW DO YOU KNOW? 109 00:05:16,787 --> 00:05:18,789 THE WIFE HIRED 110 00:05:18,789 --> 00:05:21,922 THE SLEAZIEST, MOST UNETHICAL DIVORCE LAWYER IN TOWN. 111 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,625 OH. WHO--WHO'S THAT? 112 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,597 MY EX-HUSBAND. 113 00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:28,599 OH, RIGHT. KARL'S A DIVORCE LAWYER. 114 00:05:28,599 --> 00:05:30,461 YEAH, AND A TOTAL SHARK. 115 00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:32,463 THE WORST THING ABOUT OUR DIVORCE 116 00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,605 WAS THAT I COULDN'T HIRE HIM TO REPRESENT ME. 117 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:37,668 BUT I THOUGHT YOU JUST SPLIT EVERYTHING DONE THE MIDDLE. OH, NOT WITH KARL. 118 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,641 BY THE TIME HE'S DONE FINDING LOOPHOLES AND HIDING ASSETS, 119 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,374 THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SPLIT. 120 00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:44,675 YOU DON'T SAY. 121 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,377 HEY, LADIES. 122 00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:47,778 UH, LYNETTE, AHEM. 123 00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:51,021 IT'S GETTING KINDA LATE. 124 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:54,024 ARE YOU KICKING US OUT, TOM? UH, NO. NO, JUST REMINDING LYNETTE 125 00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,787 THAT IT'S, UH, TEN MINUTES TILL MIDNIGHT, 126 00:05:56,787 --> 00:05:59,490 WHICH MEANS TEN MINUTES TILL TOMORROW. 127 00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,892 I GOT IT. I'LL BE RIGHT UP. 128 00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:06,767 WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? 129 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,769 TOM AND I ARE READING THIS BOOK THAT SUGGESTS 130 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:12,643 COUPLES MAKE A PACT TO HAVE SEX EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH. 131 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:16,106 LET ME GUESS. WRITTEN BY A GUY? WAS HIS NAME CARLOS SOLIS? 132 00:06:16,106 --> 00:06:19,450 (chuckles) WE'VE BEEN HAVING SOME PROBLEMS, 133 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:22,813 SO THE THEORY IS IT CREATES INTIMACY AND BRINGS YOU CLOSER. 134 00:06:22,813 --> 00:06:24,815 IS IT WORKING? 135 00:06:24,815 --> 00:06:26,757 I'VE GOTTA SAY IT IS. 136 00:06:26,757 --> 00:06:28,759 YOU BECOME MORE ATTUNED TO EACH OTHER'S NEEDS 137 00:06:28,759 --> 00:06:30,821 AND MORE SENSITIVE TO-- (Tom) LYNETTE! 138 00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:33,494 JEEZ! TWO SECONDS! 139 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,867 WE--WE SHOULD GO. NO, WE'RE IN OUR THIRD WEEK. WE GOT THIS DOWN TO A SCIENCE. 140 00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:40,170 JUST DEAL ME OUT A FEW HANDS. 141 00:06:58,589 --> 00:07:01,652 (Gabrielle) JUANITA, HURRY UP. THE BUS WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 142 00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,794 BE RIGHT DOWN! 143 00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:10,000 THERE'S AN EXTRA PIECE OF CINNAMON TOAST ON THE TABLE. 144 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,502 NOT HUNGRY. BYE! 145 00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:12,833 (door opens) 146 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,135 (door closes) 147 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,538 (engine idling) 148 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,969 (air hisses) 149 00:07:18,969 --> 00:07:22,042 (door creaks) 150 00:07:25,215 --> 00:07:28,979 SUSAN? IT'S DAVE. 151 00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:31,482 HEY, REMEMBER I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT MY BUDDY 152 00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:34,485 THAT OWNS THAT BOAT ON BASS LAKE? 153 00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:36,787 YEAH, WELL, HE'S NOT USING IT THIS WEEKEND, 154 00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:39,790 SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D TAKE YOU AND M.J. FISHING. 155 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,792 YEAH, I KNOW IT'S SHORT NOTICE, 156 00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:44,094 BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING TO THANK YOU. 157 00:07:44,094 --> 00:07:46,096 YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME SINCE EDIE DIED. 158 00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:50,601 PLUS I KNOW M.J. WOULD LOVE IT. 159 00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,644 GREAT. I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 160 00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:54,975 BYE. 161 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,547 (beep) 162 00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:06,486 (vacuum whirring, telephone rings) 163 00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:09,920 (turns vacuum off) 164 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,962 (beep) HELLO? 165 00:08:11,962 --> 00:08:14,595 OH, HI, PRINCIPAL HARDY. WHAT'S UP? 166 00:08:15,926 --> 00:08:18,599 SHE'S WEARING WHAT? 167 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,931 NOW MARCH IN THERE AND WIPE THAT STUFF OFF! 168 00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:23,934 YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL. YES, I DO. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA 169 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,937 HOW HUMILIATING IT WAS FOR ME TO GET THAT CALL TODAY? 170 00:08:26,937 --> 00:08:28,939 NOW EVERY PARENT IN TOWN IS GONNA THINK 171 00:08:28,939 --> 00:08:32,883 THAT I LET MY 6-YEAR-OLD WEAR MAKEUP TO SCHOOL! 172 00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:34,885 AND I WANT MY MAKEUP BACK. 173 00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:36,987 IS IT IN HERE? (sighs) 174 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,292 WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS? 175 00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:43,924 JUANITA. 176 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,526 I WAS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE YOU. 177 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,258 WHY? 178 00:08:48,258 --> 00:08:51,862 SOME GIRLS AT SCHOOL SAW YOU PICK ME UP YESTERDAY 179 00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:54,635 AND TOLD ME I MUST BE ADOPTED. 180 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,868 THEY SAID I WASN'T PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER. 181 00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:01,241 (sighs) 182 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,321 (groans) HOW'S IT FEELING, MRS. McCLUSKEY? 183 00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,224 I-IT'S REALLY THROBBING. OH, PLEASE HURRY. 184 00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:16,056 OKAY. 185 00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:24,234 (brakes squeal) 186 00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,736 HI THERE. 187 00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:29,239 JACKSON, HEY. YOU'RE BACK. 188 00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,172 I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU. 189 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,144 WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL? 190 00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:36,576 I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU. 191 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,148 WELL, YOU DID. 192 00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:39,579 AHEM. 193 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,181 OH, UH, RIGHT. 194 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,213 JACKSON, YOU REMEMBER MRS. McCLUSKEY, DON'T YOU? 195 00:09:43,213 --> 00:09:45,786 SURE. HOW ARE YOU, MRS. McCLUSKEY? 196 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,288 OH, I'M IN AGONIZING PAIN. THANKS FOR ASKING. 197 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,290 I'M TAKING HER TO THE DOCTOR 198 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,793 SO HE CAN PERFORM A LITTLE PROCEDURE. 199 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,995 HE'S GONNA LANCE A BOIL ON MY BACKSIDE. 200 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,227 IT MAY RUPTURE ANY SECOND. 201 00:09:57,227 --> 00:09:58,328 OKAY. 202 00:09:58,328 --> 00:10:02,633 I JUST HAD MY CAR DETAILED, SO I SHOULD PROBABLY GO. 203 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,204 NO PROBLEM. 204 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,306 UH, WHEN CAN I SEE YOU? 205 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,809 UM... 206 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,881 HOW ABOUT DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT? 207 00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,313 SOUNDS GREAT. 208 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,787 IF YOU TWO WANT TO KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER, 209 00:10:16,787 --> 00:10:19,750 I CAN JUST GO LAY DOWN ON THE LAWN AND DIE. 210 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,321 I DON'T MIND. 211 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,193 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 212 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,296 (grunts) 213 00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:27,828 (tires peal) 214 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,801 (knock on door) 215 00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,132 KARL. 216 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,404 HEY, MIKE. HEARD M.J.'s HAVING A SLEEPOVER. 217 00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,807 I THOUGHT I'D HIT YOU UP FOR AN INVITATION. 218 00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:40,010 AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR SLEEPOVERS? 219 00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,172 CARDS ON THE TABLE. I NEED YOUR HELP. 220 00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,175 EVAN'S ONE OF THE ONLY BOYS IN CLASS WHO WASN'T INVITED, 221 00:10:45,175 --> 00:10:46,677 AND HE'S REALLY UPSET. 222 00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:50,120 OKAY, CARDS ON THE TABLE. M.J. SAYS EVAN'S A BULLY, 223 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,322 AND HE DOESN'T WANT HIM AT HIS SLEEPOVER. 224 00:10:52,322 --> 00:10:55,726 WELL, WHAT IF I PROMISE EVAN WILL BE ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR? 225 00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:58,889 I'M SORRY. IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS. M.J. FINALIZED HIS GUEST LIST. 226 00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:01,792 WELL, I THINK IF YOU CHECK THAT LIST AGAIN, 227 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,965 YOU'LL NOTICE EVAN'S NAME'S ON THERE. 228 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,798 I'M M.J.'s DAD, 229 00:11:07,798 --> 00:11:10,440 NOT HIS BOUNCER. 230 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,842 BUT... 231 00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:13,173 THANKS. 232 00:11:14,905 --> 00:11:16,807 HEY, HONEY. HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING? 233 00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:19,309 VERY EXCITING. JUST GOT BACK FROM THE GROCERY STORE. 234 00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:22,182 IT IS DOUBLE COUPON DAY, SORTA LIKE THE OSCARS 235 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,414 AND THE SUPER BOWL ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. 236 00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:26,817 (laughs) DID YOU REMEMBER TO GET MY, UM... 237 00:11:26,817 --> 00:11:28,819 (lowered voice) MY SPECIAL DEODORANT? 238 00:11:28,819 --> 00:11:30,320 I SURE DID. (chuckles) 239 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,023 MILADY'S ARMPITS WILL BE ALUMINUM-FREE. 240 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:36,767 HOW IS YOUR DAY? I'm totally slammed, which is why I'm calling. 241 00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:39,069 IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA BE HERE LATE TONIGHT, 242 00:11:39,069 --> 00:11:41,201 AND BY "LATE," I MEAN PAST MIDNIGHT. 243 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,974 WAIT. W-WHAT ABOUT OUR PACT? 244 00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:47,908 WE'LL... DOUBLE UP TOMORROW. LYNETTE, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ALL DAY. 245 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,240 I KNOW, AND I'M REALLY SORRY. LISTEN, I GOTTA GO. 246 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,313 I WILL CALL YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU. BYE. (kisses) (beep) 247 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,786 (sighs) (beep) 248 00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:04,724 TOM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 249 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,156 EVERYTHING'S FINE. 250 00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:09,800 WELL, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING... 251 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,332 HERE? (locks door) 252 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,065 OH, NO. 253 00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:17,267 ARE YOU CRAZY? 254 00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:19,369 CRAZY ABOUT YOU, BABY. 255 00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:21,912 BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO, 256 00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:25,776 AND I'M NOT GONNA BE DONE TILL 2:00 A.M. 257 00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:27,747 POSSIBLY 3:00. 258 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,881 WHOO! COME ON. THIS IS IMPORTANT. REMEMBER WHAT THE BOOK SAID? 259 00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:33,523 EVERY NIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT. 260 00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:37,487 (grunts) NO, THIS IS A REALLY BAD TIME FOR ME. 261 00:12:37,487 --> 00:12:38,789 MM. 262 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:46,096 WELL, YOU DID BUY ME THAT DEODORANT. OOH! 263 00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:49,239 MMM. 264 00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:50,770 MMM. (beep) 265 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,103 (woman) Lynette, I have Carlos on line two. 266 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:55,775 UH, TELL HIM I'LL CALL RIGHT BACK. 267 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,546 MM. 268 00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:59,850 He says it's really important. 269 00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:01,281 HELLO? 270 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,084 Hey, Lynette. I'm over here at Capital Consultants, 271 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,086 AND THE GUYS HAVE A QUESTION. 272 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:09,259 I NEED YOU TO PULL UP THEIR ACCOUNT. Now? I'm kind of busy! 273 00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:12,022 WELL, THE AD HAS TO BE AT THE PRINTER'S BY NOON, 274 00:13:12,022 --> 00:13:14,794 so yeah, now. MWAH. MMM. 275 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,397 (moaning) 276 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,430 (giggles) (Tom panting) 277 00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:24,204 LYNETTE? 278 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,336 LYNETTE! 279 00:13:26,336 --> 00:13:28,178 Yes? 280 00:13:28,178 --> 00:13:29,910 WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU ALL RIGHT? 281 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:36,016 SORRY. JUST HAD THE HANDYMAN IN HERE, BUT HE'S FINISHED. 282 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,118 Thank you, handyman. 283 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,921 (Tom) You're welcome, ma'am. 284 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,894 So... Carlos... 285 00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:46,396 WHERE WERE WE? 286 00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:51,431 COULD I GET YOU SOMETHING? NO, THANKS, I DON'T DRINK. 287 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,203 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 288 00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:55,906 GLUG GLUG. I REMEMBER NOW. 289 00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:58,909 I'M BRINGING YOU BUSINESS, KARL. TRY NOT TO INSULT ME. 290 00:13:58,909 --> 00:14:00,410 SORRY. 291 00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,472 SO YOU WANT TO DIVORCE ORSON. 292 00:14:02,472 --> 00:14:05,245 YES, I KNOW THAT COMES AS A SURPRISE. 293 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,547 NOT REALLY. I'VE MET HIM. 294 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,049 THE GUY'S A STIFF. 295 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,051 KARL, IF WE MOVE FORWARD, 296 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:14,054 I WILL INSIST YOU HANDLE OUR DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY. 297 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,555 (sets pen down) 298 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,057 ARE YOU SURE? 299 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,230 I DON'T KNOW OF A DIGNIFIED WAY TO SCREW A SPOUSE OUT OF MONEY 300 00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:22,963 THAT THEY, BY LAW, ARE ENTITLED TO. 301 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,195 THAT IS WHY YOU'RE HIRING ME, RIGHT? 302 00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:28,198 I JUST WANT TO PROTECT WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE. 303 00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:30,040 CAN YOU HELP ME? 304 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,942 (ice cubes rattling) SURE. 305 00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:33,103 LOVELY. 306 00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:36,006 I'LL MAKE OUT A CHECK. YEAH, NOT SO FAST. 307 00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:39,479 UH, I SAID I COULD DO IT, NOT THAT I WOULD. 308 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,111 I NEED A FAVOR. 309 00:14:41,111 --> 00:14:43,413 WELL, WHAT KIND OF A FAVOR? 310 00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:47,017 M.J. DELFINO IS HAVING 311 00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:49,219 A SLEEPOVER AT HIS HOUSE IN TWO DAYS. 312 00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:52,422 MY SON WASN'T INVITED. NOW HIS FEELINGS ARE HURT. 313 00:14:52,422 --> 00:14:54,394 SO? 314 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,967 SO I WANT YOU TO GET MY SON INTO THAT SLEEPOVER. 315 00:14:56,967 --> 00:15:00,130 HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT DOING THAT? 316 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,431 GOSH, I DON'T KNOW. 317 00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:05,035 HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT HIDING YOUR ASSETS FROM ORSON? 318 00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:07,037 I NEED YOUR HELP, KARL. I REALLY DO, 319 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:11,281 BUT I AM NOT COMFORTABLE MANIPULATING A 6-YEAR-OLD. 320 00:15:11,281 --> 00:15:15,085 MM-HMM. YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS ONE CLIENT... 321 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:17,387 HIS WIFE HAD BEEN WITH HIM SINCE JUNIOR HIGH. 322 00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:19,389 SHE SUPPORTED HIM THROUGH MED SCHOOL, 323 00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:22,222 GAVE HIM THREE KIDS AND THE BEST YEARS OF HER LIFE. 324 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:26,026 ONCE I HAD DONE MY PARTICULAR BRAND OF LEGAL MAGIC, 325 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,028 HE ENDED UP WITH 90% OF THE MONEY, 326 00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,630 AND SHE ENDED UP IN A STUDIO APARTMENT... 327 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,432 WITH A ROOMMATE. 328 00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:41,141 THEN AGAIN... 329 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,043 M.J. DOES... 330 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:47,047 LOVE MY MACAROONS. 331 00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:57,027 SWEETIE, DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE KIDS. THEY'RE IDIOTS. 332 00:15:57,027 --> 00:16:00,090 YOU ARE A GORGEOUS LITTLE GIRL. YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT. YOU'RE MY DAD. 333 00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,332 NO, IT'S THE TRUTH. YOU ARE NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL. 334 00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:06,266 MAKEUP JUST COVERS THAT UP. HE'S RIGHT, SWEETIE. YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT GUNK ON YOUR FACE. 335 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:09,239 THEN WHY DO YOU WEAR IT? BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT. 336 00:16:09,239 --> 00:16:12,172 AND BESIDES, I HARDLY WEAR ANY. 337 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,175 COME ON, GABY. LET'S TRY TO KEEP THIS REAL. 338 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,348 ARE YOU GONNA WEAR MAKEUP WHEN DADDY GETS HIS BIG AWARD? 339 00:16:18,348 --> 00:16:21,451 WELL, IT'S A BIG, FANCY DINNER. OF COURSE. 340 00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:23,453 BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR. SWEETIE, YOU'RE 6. 341 00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:26,116 THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS I CAN DO THAT YOU DON'T. 342 00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:28,118 SO YOU GET TO LOOK PRETTY AT DADDY'S PARTY, 343 00:16:28,118 --> 00:16:31,261 AND I HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THIS? 344 00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,724 HEY, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. OKAY, SEE? YOUR DADDY'S GOT A GREAT IDEA. 345 00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:38,428 HOW ABOUT IF NEITHER ONE OF YOU WEARS MAKEUP TO THE DINNER? 346 00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,600 OKAY. (chuckles) 347 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,205 NO, NO, NO. YOUR DADDY'S JUST BEING SILLY. 348 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:48,478 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND, SILLY DADDY? 349 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,782 (lowers voice) ARE YOU A LUNATIC? I AM NOT WALKING 350 00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:56,386 INTO A BALLROOM FULL OF PEOPLE WITHOUT MY FACE ON. COME ON. THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY 351 00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,448 TO TEACH HER THAT BEAUTY'S ONLY SKIN DEEP. 352 00:16:58,448 --> 00:17:02,021 YEAH, WELL, ONCE YOU SEE THIS SKIN WITHOUT FOUNDATION, 353 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,355 YOU MAY WANT TO RETHINK THAT. GABY, YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN PAIN. AND DON'T YOU LOVE HER ENOUGH 354 00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:07,527 TO PUT YOUR VANITY ASIDE FOR ONE NIGHT? 355 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:12,602 I WAS IN LABOR FOR 20 HOURS. SHE STILL OWES ME FOR THAT! 356 00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:15,405 (scoffs) FINE. 357 00:17:15,405 --> 00:17:17,737 I WILL MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, 358 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,810 AND I WILL BE UGLY FOR MY DAUGHTER. 359 00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:24,274 BUT IF SHE EVER NEEDS A KIDNEY... 360 00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:26,416 (sighs) 361 00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:31,721 WOW. YOU'RE REALLY GOING ALL OUT ON THIS SLEEPOVER. 362 00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:33,723 (chuckles) ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE 363 00:17:33,723 --> 00:17:36,686 THAT TONS OF SUGAR AND WHISTLES ARE A GOOD COMBINATION. 364 00:17:36,686 --> 00:17:38,188 OH, GOOD POINT. 365 00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:41,491 I'LL MAKE US SOME GOODY BAGS FILLED WITH EARPLUGS AND VODKA. 366 00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:44,234 IT'S GREAT. I'M SURE M.J. WILL APPRECIATE IT. 367 00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:45,665 I'M SURE HE WILL. 368 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,497 HE'S A GREAT KID... 369 00:17:47,497 --> 00:17:50,370 AND FUNNY. 370 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,802 (laughs) THAT WAS HILARIOUS THE OTHER DAY, 371 00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:56,376 WHEN HE ASKED US WHEN WE'RE GETTING MARRIED. I'M GLAD YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. 372 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,478 I WAS TAP-DANCING MY ASS OFF. 373 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,181 NO, YOU WERE GREAT. 374 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,452 ALTHOUGH... 375 00:18:02,452 --> 00:18:05,455 SOMEDAY YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO ANSWER THE QUESTION. 376 00:18:05,455 --> 00:18:08,518 I'M SURE HE'S FORGOTTEN BY NOW. YOU KNOW KIDS. 377 00:18:08,518 --> 00:18:10,260 KIDS ARE LIKE THAT. 378 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:13,823 GROWN-UPS ON THE OTHER HAND... 379 00:18:13,823 --> 00:18:15,595 NOT SO MUCH. 380 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:19,098 WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT M.J. ANYMORE, ARE WE? 381 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,133 OH, YOU WANT TO GO RUN AND GET YOUR TAP SHOES? 382 00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:25,675 NO. NO. I'LL BE COMPLETELY HONEST HERE. 383 00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:27,677 MOVING IN WITH YOU IS 384 00:18:27,677 --> 00:18:30,310 ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS I EVER MADE. (chuckles) 385 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,143 YOU MAKE ME REALLY, REALLY HAPPY. 386 00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:35,385 BUT? 387 00:18:35,385 --> 00:18:37,517 I'VE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE, 388 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:41,291 AND I JUST DON'T SEE MYSELF GETTING MARRIED AGAIN. 389 00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:46,526 OKAY. 390 00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,460 PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR. 391 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,162 I WANTED THE TRUTH. 392 00:18:52,162 --> 00:18:54,364 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT THE TRUTH SUCKS. 393 00:18:57,367 --> 00:19:00,440 SO COULD YOU GET THE STREAMERS OUT OF THE CAR? 394 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,272 SURE. 395 00:19:03,613 --> 00:19:05,345 OH, BY THE WAY, 396 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,517 FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, 397 00:19:07,517 --> 00:19:09,549 I DO LOVE YOU. 398 00:19:14,924 --> 00:19:16,886 (toots) 399 00:19:19,489 --> 00:19:23,563 I'VE ONLY BEEN WORKING THERE TWO MONTHS, BUT I LOVE IT. 400 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,535 AND THE KIDS ARE SO CUTE. 401 00:19:25,535 --> 00:19:30,370 AND I GET TO SEE M.J. DURING THE DAY, WHICH IS NICE. 402 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,543 UH, YOU KNOW, UH, 403 00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:36,706 FOR A GUY THAT JUST HAD TO SEE ME SO BAD, 404 00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:40,550 YOU... YOU SEEM AWFULLY FAR AWAY. 405 00:19:40,550 --> 00:19:43,613 I'M SORRY. 406 00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:45,585 I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS. 407 00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:49,719 I HAVE SOMETHING... 408 00:19:49,719 --> 00:19:53,723 TO ASK YOU, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE GONNA REACT. 409 00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:56,596 WHAT IS IT? 410 00:19:57,967 --> 00:19:59,699 OH. 411 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,503 THIS IS GONNA COME OUT OF NOWHERE, BUT... 412 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,509 I WANT YOU TO MARRY ME. 413 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:16,446 A-AND HERE'S HOW I CAME TO THIS. THE OTHER DAY... (gasps) 414 00:20:16,446 --> 00:20:18,348 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 415 00:20:18,348 --> 00:20:20,950 I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS. 416 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:22,352 NOW? 417 00:20:22,352 --> 00:20:26,356 (crying) 418 00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,301 SUSAN, ARE YOU OKAY? 419 00:20:31,301 --> 00:20:34,664 I'M FINE. I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME CRYING. 420 00:20:34,664 --> 00:20:37,337 HONEY, YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 421 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,808 OH, I'M SORRY. 422 00:20:38,808 --> 00:20:40,640 JUST, UM, 423 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,572 ALL THESE MONTHS, 424 00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:46,015 I'VE BEEN TELLING MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, 425 00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:50,380 WHICH WAS EASY TO DO BECAUSE YOU LEFT SO SUDDENLY. 426 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:53,883 BUT I AM SO LONELY. 427 00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,885 AND AS MUCH AS I TELL MYSELF 428 00:20:55,885 --> 00:21:01,791 THAT I LIKE BEING THE STRONG, SINGLE WOMAN ON HER OWN, 429 00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,993 THE TRUTH IS, 430 00:21:03,993 --> 00:21:07,367 I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. 431 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,839 AND I WANTED TO CALL YOU, 432 00:21:09,839 --> 00:21:13,543 BUT I THOUGHT YOU'D GOTTEN OVER ME. 433 00:21:13,543 --> 00:21:18,408 AND TO HEAR THAT YOU STILL LOVE ME... 434 00:21:18,408 --> 00:21:20,410 THAT IS JUST SOMETHING 435 00:21:20,410 --> 00:21:23,713 THAT I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. 436 00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:25,715 AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW-- 437 00:21:25,715 --> 00:21:28,718 OH, GOD. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU, TOO. 438 00:21:28,718 --> 00:21:30,520 JACKSON... 439 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,793 I LOVE YOU. 440 00:21:35,365 --> 00:21:36,666 (gasps) 441 00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:39,669 (panting) 442 00:21:44,534 --> 00:21:46,536 JACKSON? 443 00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:48,638 OH, GOD. 444 00:21:48,638 --> 00:21:52,782 I REALLY WISH YOU'D LET ME FINISH. 445 00:21:52,782 --> 00:21:54,514 FINISH WHAT? 446 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,886 SUSAN, I NEED YOU TO MARRY ME 447 00:21:56,886 --> 00:22:00,720 SO THAT IMMIGRATION DOESN'T DEPORT ME BACK TO CANADA. 448 00:22:03,653 --> 00:22:06,426 AND THE ONE THING I DIDN'T TELL YOU IS THAT 449 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:10,560 I'M HERE ON A STUDENT VISA THAT EXPIRED SIX YEARS AGO, 450 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,562 AND I GOT A CALL FROM THE AUTHORITIES, 451 00:22:12,562 --> 00:22:15,565 SO UNLESS I CAN FIND SOMEBODY THAT WILL MARRY ME, 452 00:22:15,565 --> 00:22:17,637 I'M GONNA BE IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE. 453 00:22:20,069 --> 00:22:21,871 SUSAN? 454 00:22:21,871 --> 00:22:24,914 SUSAN, DID YOU HEAR ME? 455 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:28,548 I HEARD. 456 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,120 SO... 457 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,022 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 458 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,988 OKAY. OKAY, IT WAS A BAD IDEA. 459 00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:42,732 GET OUT OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS BACK TO THE CANADIAN BORDER! 460 00:22:42,732 --> 00:22:44,694 (thud) OW! 461 00:22:44,694 --> 00:22:46,766 (door opens and closes) (pants) 462 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:50,440 TOOK A SHOWER, BRUSHED MY TEETH. 463 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,504 WE ARE GOOD TO GO. 464 00:22:54,504 --> 00:22:56,746 MMM. 465 00:22:56,746 --> 00:22:57,847 LYNETTE. 466 00:23:01,951 --> 00:23:03,653 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 467 00:23:03,653 --> 00:23:05,615 YOU KNOW, THE PACT. 468 00:23:05,615 --> 00:23:07,016 OH. 469 00:23:07,016 --> 00:23:09,018 DIDN'T WE ALREADY DO IT TONIGHT? 470 00:23:09,018 --> 00:23:10,590 (chuckles) NO. 471 00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:13,863 OH, THEY'RE ALL STARTING TO BLUR. (moans) 472 00:23:13,863 --> 00:23:16,165 LOOK, I WORKED TILL 3:00 A.M. LAST NIGHT. 473 00:23:16,165 --> 00:23:19,068 I'M EXHAUSTED. HOW ABOUT WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK? 474 00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:21,771 A RAIN CHECK? MM. 475 00:23:21,771 --> 00:23:23,673 THIS ISN'T BASEBALL. 476 00:23:23,673 --> 00:23:26,706 EVERY NIGHT FOR 30 DAYS-- THAT'S THE LAW. 477 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:31,010 TOM, I HAVE A 7:00 A.M. MEETING. 478 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,082 HOW ABOUT I TAKE A LONG LUNCH, 479 00:23:33,082 --> 00:23:36,045 AND YOU DO ME TWICE AT WORK TOMORROW? 480 00:23:36,045 --> 00:23:37,517 COME ON. 481 00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,889 THIS IS IMPORTANT. 482 00:23:39,889 --> 00:23:42,091 OKAY. 483 00:23:42,091 --> 00:23:43,723 OKAY. 484 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,995 WE'LL HAVE SEX. 485 00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:47,997 BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT QUICK? 486 00:23:47,997 --> 00:23:49,699 LYNETTE, PLEASE. 487 00:23:49,699 --> 00:23:51,701 YOU CAN'T RUSH AN ARTIST. 488 00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:53,062 MMM. 489 00:23:53,062 --> 00:23:54,804 MMM. 490 00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:58,067 (moaning) 491 00:24:02,011 --> 00:24:05,975 (snoring) 492 00:24:12,682 --> 00:24:15,454 MORNING. OH, SORRY. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BREAKFAST. 493 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,487 (dishes clatter) GOOD. I DIDN'T MAKE YOU ANY. 494 00:24:17,487 --> 00:24:19,759 OH, OKAY. UH, COFFEE WILL BE FINE. 495 00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:22,832 BEANS ARE RIGHT THERE. GRAB A HANDFUL AND GRIND. 496 00:24:22,832 --> 00:24:25,094 IS THERE A PROBLEM? 497 00:24:27,236 --> 00:24:29,769 YOU DON'T REMEMBER? 498 00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:32,171 LAST NIGHT, WE WERE HAVING SEX? 499 00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,003 YOU FELL ASLEEP? 500 00:24:35,745 --> 00:24:36,846 AFTER? 501 00:24:36,846 --> 00:24:38,147 DURING. 502 00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,650 OH. 503 00:24:40,650 --> 00:24:42,982 WAS IT GOOD? (chuckles) 504 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:45,785 I DIDN'T FINISH. 505 00:24:45,785 --> 00:24:48,618 GOD, YOU RUINED OUR STREAK, LYNETTE. 506 00:24:48,618 --> 00:24:51,521 I'M SORRY. I WAS EXHAUSTED. 507 00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:54,524 IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS ASKING YOU TO SCRUB A FLOOR. 508 00:24:54,524 --> 00:24:57,997 ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LIE THERE, LIKE YOU USUALLY DO. 509 00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:01,701 OH, OKAY. I'M GONNA LET THAT ONE GO, 'CAUSE YOU'RE UPSET. 510 00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:03,172 WELL, IT'S TRUE. 511 00:25:03,172 --> 00:25:05,234 WITH YOU BEING SO TIRED FROM WORK LATELY, 512 00:25:05,234 --> 00:25:07,837 I'M THE ONE DOING ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING. 513 00:25:07,837 --> 00:25:09,839 TOM, YOU'RE BEING COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL. 514 00:25:09,839 --> 00:25:11,941 WE'VE HAD SEX 23 DAYS STRAIGHT. 515 00:25:11,941 --> 00:25:15,244 I'VE SEEN MORE CEILING THAN MICHELANGELO. WE MADE A COMMITMENT, LYNETTE. THE BOOK SAYS-- 516 00:25:15,244 --> 00:25:17,246 OH, WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE BOOK? 517 00:25:17,246 --> 00:25:19,889 YOU BOUGHT IT AT A CAR WASH 518 00:25:19,889 --> 00:25:23,192 ALONG WITH A PACK OF GUM AND AN AIR FRESHENER. YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S STUPID. ALL MY IDEAS ARE STUPID. 519 00:25:23,192 --> 00:25:27,096 I SHOULD JUST STICK TO DOING CHORES. DON'T JUST WALK AWAY. 520 00:25:27,096 --> 00:25:29,959 YOU BETTER GET TO WORK, LYNETTE. YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE. 521 00:25:35,204 --> 00:25:37,967 HEY. HAVEN'T SEEN YOU BOYS IN A WHILE. 522 00:25:37,967 --> 00:25:40,309 THERE'S BEEN A BREAK IN THE CLUB FIRE CASE, MR. WILLIAMS. 523 00:25:40,309 --> 00:25:41,871 YOU GOT A MINUTE? 524 00:25:41,871 --> 00:25:44,614 (Detective Collins) DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY? 525 00:25:44,614 --> 00:25:47,276 NO. WHO IS HE? 526 00:25:47,276 --> 00:25:49,579 DR. SAMUEL HELLER, PSYCHIATRIST FROM BOSTON. 527 00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:51,751 HE'S THE GUY WHO BURNED UP IN THE FIRE. 528 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:54,924 WHAT'S A SHRINK FROM BOSTON DOING IN FAIRVIEW? 529 00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:57,256 NO IDEA, BUT WE'D LIKE TO FIND OUT 530 00:25:57,256 --> 00:26:00,259 IF ANYONE KNOWS HIM OR WHAT HE WAS DOING THERE. 531 00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:04,563 DID YOU SEE HIM BACKSTAGE? NO, I DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY. 532 00:26:06,836 --> 00:26:08,738 EXCEPT PORTER SCAVO. 533 00:26:08,738 --> 00:26:12,201 YEAH, BUT I TOLD YOU. THAT WAS A MISTAKE. 534 00:26:15,344 --> 00:26:17,346 DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED JACKSON BRADDOCK? 535 00:26:17,346 --> 00:26:20,710 HE WAS BACKSTAGE. WAS HE? 536 00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:22,682 YEAH, HE GOT LOCKED IN THE EMPLOYEE MEN'S ROOM 537 00:26:22,682 --> 00:26:25,915 RIGHT BEFORE THE FIRE STARTED. WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. 538 00:26:25,915 --> 00:26:28,618 HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM? WE'VE BEEN TRYING, 539 00:26:28,618 --> 00:26:31,220 BUT HE LEFT TOWN, AND WE'VE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND HIM. 540 00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:35,594 THAT'S A SHAME. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. 541 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:37,166 YOU BET. 542 00:26:41,731 --> 00:26:43,002 (beep) 543 00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:45,735 (dials) 544 00:26:45,735 --> 00:26:47,737 (door closes) 545 00:26:47,737 --> 00:26:49,238 HEY, SUSAN. IT'S DAVE. 546 00:26:49,238 --> 00:26:52,241 YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING I'D PICK UP YOU AND M.J. 547 00:26:52,241 --> 00:26:54,744 AROUND 6:00 A.M. SATURDAY FOR THE TRIP. 548 00:26:54,744 --> 00:26:58,347 YEAH. I FIGURED THE EARLIER WE GET GOING, THE BETTER. 549 00:26:58,347 --> 00:27:00,389 OKAY. 550 00:27:00,389 --> 00:27:02,621 (beep) 551 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,195 WELL, HELLO THERE, M.J. 552 00:27:06,195 --> 00:27:08,157 I WAS BAKING THIS MORNING, AND LIKE AN IDIOT, 553 00:27:08,157 --> 00:27:10,159 I MADE TOO MANY MACAROONS. 554 00:27:10,159 --> 00:27:12,161 WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO TAKE ONE? 555 00:27:12,161 --> 00:27:15,164 I WOULD HATE TO SEE THEM GO TO WASTE. MACAROONS ARE MY FAVORITE. 556 00:27:15,164 --> 00:27:18,668 OH, REALLY? WHAT A DELIGHTFUL COINCIDENCE. 557 00:27:18,668 --> 00:27:21,671 YOU KNOW, I COULD BAKE THESE FOR YOU EVERY WEEK, 558 00:27:21,671 --> 00:27:25,074 AND ALL I'D NEED IN RETURN IS JUST THE TINIEST OF FAVORS. 559 00:27:25,074 --> 00:27:26,375 WHAT KIND OF FAVOR? 560 00:27:26,375 --> 00:27:29,078 INVITE EVAN MAYER TO YOUR SLEEPOVER. 561 00:27:29,078 --> 00:27:31,280 I DON'T LIKE EVAN. HE'S MEAN. 562 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,282 OH, NO. 563 00:27:33,282 --> 00:27:35,885 DEEP DOWN, HE'S JUST A FRAGILE LITTLE BOY 564 00:27:35,885 --> 00:27:38,758 WHO WANTS TO BE LIKED. 565 00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:40,990 HE HIT ME WITH A DEAD SQUIRREL. 566 00:27:40,990 --> 00:27:43,963 NOW, M.J., WE CAN FIND FAULTS WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS 567 00:27:43,963 --> 00:27:45,194 IF WE NITPICK. 568 00:27:45,194 --> 00:27:47,767 WHAT DO YOU SAY? WILL YOU INVITE HIM? 569 00:27:49,398 --> 00:27:51,901 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ICE CREAM WITH YOUR MACAROONS? 570 00:27:51,901 --> 00:27:54,103 BECAUSE I COULD MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 571 00:27:54,103 --> 00:27:56,005 BREE? 572 00:27:56,005 --> 00:27:57,977 I'M LATE FOR MY GOLF GAME. 573 00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,679 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE A.T.M., 574 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:05,715 SO I TOOK THE CASH OUT OF YOUR WALLET. 575 00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:08,057 BYE. 576 00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:12,021 (sighs) 577 00:28:16,025 --> 00:28:19,468 M.J., THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY LIFE 578 00:28:19,468 --> 00:28:22,331 WHO HITS ME WITH A DEAD SQUIRREL 579 00:28:22,331 --> 00:28:25,805 EVERY SINGLE DAY. 580 00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:29,178 AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME. 581 00:28:29,178 --> 00:28:33,142 PLEASE, PLEASE INVITE EVAN TO YOUR PARTY. 582 00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,116 OKAY. 583 00:28:37,116 --> 00:28:40,489 (whispers) THANK YOU. 584 00:28:40,489 --> 00:28:42,822 OH, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. 585 00:28:45,895 --> 00:28:51,300 BOY, THE STUFF I DO FOR MACAROONS. 586 00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:54,433 (doorbell rings) 587 00:28:59,869 --> 00:29:02,772 GO AWAY! I-I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 588 00:29:02,772 --> 00:29:04,513 COME ON. LET ME IN. 589 00:29:04,513 --> 00:29:06,816 THANKS, BUT I'VE REACHED MY MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE 590 00:29:06,816 --> 00:29:09,148 FOR HUMILIATION THIS WEEK. 591 00:29:09,148 --> 00:29:12,321 LISTEN, I'M SORRY YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A REAL PROPOSAL. 592 00:29:12,321 --> 00:29:15,484 I THOUGHT YOU KNEW I'D MOVED ON. 593 00:29:15,484 --> 00:29:18,457 MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE EXCEEDED. 594 00:29:21,490 --> 00:29:22,992 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 595 00:29:22,992 --> 00:29:26,836 I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT ME. 596 00:29:26,836 --> 00:29:29,168 OH, I'M NOT MAD AT YOU. 597 00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:32,141 YOU KNOW, I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 598 00:29:33,803 --> 00:29:36,505 I WAS A LITTLE LONELY AND A LITTLE AFRAID 599 00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:41,851 AND... I JUST DID WHAT I ALWAYS DO-- 600 00:29:41,851 --> 00:29:45,214 LET SOME SILLY ROMANTIC FANTASY TAKE OVER. 601 00:29:46,886 --> 00:29:49,889 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU STILL FELT THAT WAY ABOUT ME. 602 00:29:51,821 --> 00:29:53,462 I DON'T. 603 00:29:53,462 --> 00:29:55,464 THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU. 604 00:29:55,464 --> 00:29:57,426 NOT REALLY. 605 00:29:57,426 --> 00:30:02,131 AND BESIDES, YOU MOVED ON. 606 00:30:02,131 --> 00:30:04,974 WELL, I HAD TO. 607 00:30:04,974 --> 00:30:07,506 YOU PUSHED ME AWAY. 608 00:30:07,506 --> 00:30:11,340 I HAD TO... HEAL MY HEART AND GET OVER IT. 609 00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:20,549 THIS--I MEAN, THIS IS REALLY THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO 610 00:30:20,549 --> 00:30:23,092 TO STAY HERE AND DO YOUR WORK? 611 00:30:23,092 --> 00:30:24,954 YEAH. 612 00:30:34,964 --> 00:30:36,866 I'LL HELP YOU. 613 00:30:36,866 --> 00:30:38,437 REALLY? 614 00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:41,610 YEAH. (sets flowers down) 615 00:30:41,610 --> 00:30:44,143 I'LL DO IT. BUT THAT'S IT. 616 00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:47,416 NO LOVE, NO SEX, JUST... 617 00:30:47,416 --> 00:30:48,978 MARRIAGE. 618 00:30:48,978 --> 00:30:50,950 NO SEX? 619 00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:55,885 YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK THIS IS A REAL MARRIAGE, DON'T YOU? 620 00:31:03,032 --> 00:31:06,095 (indistinct conversations) 621 00:31:09,598 --> 00:31:11,270 GABY, COME ON. 622 00:31:14,974 --> 00:31:18,147 FOR GOD SAKES, WILL YOU TAKE THOSE OFF? IT'S 8:00 AT NIGHT. 623 00:31:18,147 --> 00:31:21,150 OH, FINE. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MIND PEOPLE THINKING 624 00:31:21,150 --> 00:31:24,083 YOU'RE OUT ON THE TOWN WITH YOUR ANEMIC LESBIAN SISTER. 625 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:27,056 THERE'S OUR MAN OF HONOR. (chuckles) 626 00:31:27,056 --> 00:31:29,058 (chuckles) GABY, THIS IS STEPHANIE. 627 00:31:29,058 --> 00:31:32,121 SHE PUT THIS WHOLE BANQUET TOGETHER. HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. 628 00:31:32,121 --> 00:31:35,664 YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY I LOOK LIKE THIS. EXCUSE ME? 629 00:31:35,664 --> 00:31:37,666 I'M NOT ILL. I'M JUST NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP 630 00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:40,669 SO I CAN TEACH MY DAUGHTER THAT BEAUTY'S WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE. 631 00:31:40,669 --> 00:31:43,272 I DON'T ACTUALLY LOOK THIS HIDEOUS. 632 00:31:45,004 --> 00:31:46,375 OKAY. 633 00:31:49,979 --> 00:31:52,181 WILL YOU PLEASE STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF? 634 00:31:52,181 --> 00:31:55,144 I MEAN, IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN YOU DID IT WITH THE VALET. I CAN'T HELP IT. 635 00:31:55,144 --> 00:31:57,947 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING I CONDONE THIS FACE. 636 00:31:57,947 --> 00:32:01,620 I'M GONNA GO FIND OUR TABLE. 637 00:32:04,593 --> 00:32:05,995 CHAMPAGNE? 638 00:32:05,995 --> 00:32:07,396 OH, THANK YOU. 639 00:32:07,396 --> 00:32:11,160 I'M NOT ILL. I'M JUST NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP. (Carlos) GABY! 640 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,661 GOTTA GO. 641 00:32:14,403 --> 00:32:17,967 (party favors honk, children shouting) 642 00:32:17,967 --> 00:32:20,239 COME ON, GUYS. NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE. 643 00:32:20,239 --> 00:32:22,271 THESE CANDY APPLES ARE GREAT. 644 00:32:22,271 --> 00:32:24,343 CAN ME AND EVAN HAVE ANOTHER ONE? 645 00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:26,345 WELL, I BETTER ASK KATHERINE. 646 00:32:26,345 --> 00:32:27,476 WHERE IS KATHERINE? 647 00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:34,153 HEY. YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN. 648 00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:36,725 I JUST GOT A CANDIED APPLE OUT OF A KID'S HAIR. 649 00:32:36,725 --> 00:32:40,289 SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. 650 00:32:40,289 --> 00:32:42,161 NO, COME ON DOWN. 651 00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,633 IT'S NOT AS MUCH FUN WITHOUT YOU. 652 00:32:44,633 --> 00:32:47,396 OKAY. 653 00:32:47,396 --> 00:32:50,469 YOU WERE HONEST WITH ME, SO I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU. 654 00:32:52,241 --> 00:32:54,243 I GOT SCARED. 655 00:32:56,045 --> 00:32:58,677 OF WHAT? 656 00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:03,682 I WAS HOSTING A PARTY WITH THIS AMAZING MAN 657 00:33:03,682 --> 00:33:06,355 AND HIS ADORABLE SON, 658 00:33:06,355 --> 00:33:08,357 AND WE WERE LIKE THE PERFECT FAMILY, 659 00:33:08,357 --> 00:33:10,259 AND THEN I REALIZED... 660 00:33:10,259 --> 00:33:12,091 WE'RE NOT A FAMILY. 661 00:33:12,091 --> 00:33:14,523 IT COULD ALL GO AWAY IN AN INSTANT. 662 00:33:16,525 --> 00:33:18,627 KATHERINE, I'M NOT LEAVING. 663 00:33:18,627 --> 00:33:21,700 BUT YOU'RE NOT COMMITTING EITHER. 664 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,334 WHY NOT, MIKE? 665 00:33:25,334 --> 00:33:27,476 IS IT SUSAN? 666 00:33:27,476 --> 00:33:31,040 YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH HER? 667 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,311 NO. 668 00:33:32,311 --> 00:33:34,313 NO, I'VE TOLD YOU THAT. 669 00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:37,416 THEN IT MUST BE ME. 670 00:33:37,416 --> 00:33:42,121 KATHERINE, I LOVE HAVING YOU IN MY LIFE. 671 00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,693 I'M JUST NOT READY. 672 00:33:44,693 --> 00:33:47,326 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. 673 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:51,700 I'M NOT TRYING TO GET YOU TO SAY ANYTHING. 674 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:55,064 I JUST HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 675 00:33:57,666 --> 00:33:59,508 (crash and laughter) 676 00:33:59,508 --> 00:34:05,144 I SHOULD PROBABLY GO MAKE SURE THE FIRST FLOOR IS STILL THERE. 677 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,482 EXCUSE ME. THE MAYOR'S ABOUT TO LEAVE, 678 00:34:13,482 --> 00:34:16,455 AND THE NEWSPAPER WANTS A PHOTO WITH HIM AND YOUR FAMILY. 679 00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,457 OH, THAT'S SO SWEET. (chuckles) 680 00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:22,491 TELL HIM NO WAY IN HELL. TELL HIM WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 681 00:34:22,491 --> 00:34:24,463 THE NEWSPAPER? FORGET IT. 682 00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:26,735 GABY, I DO BUSINESS WITH THE CITY. 683 00:34:26,735 --> 00:34:30,269 I CAN'T JUST BLOW OFF THE MAYOR. SERIOUSLY, WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED. 684 00:34:30,269 --> 00:34:32,271 NEXT TIME THERE'S AN EPIDEMIC, 685 00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:34,303 PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK I'M PATIENT ZERO. 686 00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,447 YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS. 687 00:34:38,447 --> 00:34:40,779 FINE. 688 00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:44,082 BUT JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, YOU'RE ALSO LATINO JERK OF THE YEAR. 689 00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,814 COME ON. LET'S GO. 690 00:34:45,814 --> 00:34:47,856 OH, CAN I AT LEAST USE THE BATHROOM FIRST? 691 00:34:47,856 --> 00:34:49,658 (sighs) 692 00:34:51,460 --> 00:34:55,224 LADIES! ATTENTION, PLEASE. 693 00:34:55,224 --> 00:34:59,398 I AM IN A JAM, AND I NEED LIPSTICK AND EYELINER. 694 00:34:59,398 --> 00:35:02,301 COME ON. CHOP CHOP. 695 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:04,673 YOU CAN USE MY MAKEUP. 696 00:35:04,673 --> 00:35:08,307 OH, THAT DOESN'T REALLY GO WITH MY SKIN TONE. 697 00:35:08,307 --> 00:35:10,509 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE HAVE THE SAME COLORING. 698 00:35:10,509 --> 00:35:13,242 YEAH, IT DOESN'T REALLY GO WITH YOUR SKIN TONE EITHER, 699 00:35:13,242 --> 00:35:16,345 BUT I CAN ONLY DEAL WITH ONE DISASTER AT A TIME. 700 00:35:16,345 --> 00:35:18,817 OOH. ASIAN GIRL. CLOSE ENOUGH. 701 00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,719 UM, I DON'T THINK SO. 702 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,122 UGH. WAS IT THE "CHOP CHOP" THING? FINE. I'M SORRY. 703 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,124 NOW CAN I BORROW SOME BLUSH? 704 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:29,258 I DON'T SHARE COSMETICS. I'M SORT OF A GERM FREAK. 705 00:35:29,258 --> 00:35:33,662 OH, DON'T WORRY. I'M AS HEALTHY AS A HORSE. REALLY? YOU LOOK SICK. 706 00:35:33,662 --> 00:35:36,765 THAT'S 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY MAKEUP! 707 00:35:36,765 --> 00:35:39,508 I SAID NO. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE. 708 00:35:39,508 --> 00:35:42,241 OKAY, OKAY, LOOK. I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT. 709 00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:43,872 I NEVER SHOULD HAVE ASKED. (gasps) 710 00:35:43,872 --> 00:35:45,474 OH. 711 00:35:45,474 --> 00:35:47,346 OH! HEY! 712 00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:50,319 COME OUT NOW, OR I'LL CALL SECURITY! 713 00:35:50,319 --> 00:35:53,322 YOU KNOW, FOR A WOMAN WHO HAS A PURSE FULL OF DINNER ROLLS, 714 00:35:53,322 --> 00:35:56,154 YOU SURE HAVE A LOT OF ATTITUDE. 715 00:35:57,826 --> 00:36:01,460 OH, GOOD. WE'RE ALL HERE. 716 00:36:01,460 --> 00:36:04,393 BY THE WAY, MRS. SOLIS, YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. 717 00:36:04,393 --> 00:36:06,495 THANK YOU. 718 00:36:06,495 --> 00:36:09,438 YEAH, MOM. YOU LOOK GREAT. 719 00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:13,872 OKAY, BIG SMILES, EVERYONE. 720 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:16,345 (camera shutter snaps) 721 00:36:20,879 --> 00:36:22,581 SEE THIS? 722 00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:24,683 MY THIRD ESPRESSO. (thud) 723 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:28,217 I'M WIRED. NO WAY I'M FALLING ASLEEP TONIGHT. 724 00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:35,324 HEY. 725 00:36:35,324 --> 00:36:38,797 HOW ABOUT WE THROW A PIZZA ON THE FRONT LAWN, 726 00:36:38,797 --> 00:36:40,969 AND WHEN THE KIDS RUN OUT TO GET IT, 727 00:36:40,969 --> 00:36:44,903 WE LOCK THE DOOR AND DO IT IN EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE? 728 00:36:48,677 --> 00:36:52,641 TOM, I'M SORRY. 729 00:36:52,641 --> 00:36:54,743 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. 730 00:36:54,743 --> 00:36:57,816 IF YOU WANNA STAY MAD, I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA STAY MAD. 731 00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,789 (sighs) 732 00:37:00,789 --> 00:37:03,792 I AM NOT MAD, LYNETTE. 733 00:37:03,792 --> 00:37:04,923 THEN WHAT'S WRONG? 734 00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:07,296 YOU'RE GONNA THINK IT'S STUPID. 735 00:37:07,296 --> 00:37:08,727 TELL ME. 736 00:37:10,859 --> 00:37:12,861 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SEX 737 00:37:12,861 --> 00:37:14,933 HAS BECOME SO IMPORTANT TO ME LATELY? 738 00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:18,867 BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY THING IN MY LIFE 739 00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:20,739 THAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT. 740 00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:23,912 THAT IS SO SWEET. 741 00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:27,476 NO. NO, IT'S NOT GOOD, LYNETTE-- NOT FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU. 742 00:37:27,476 --> 00:37:28,747 I... 743 00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:32,951 I NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO BE EXCITED ABOUT. 744 00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:35,954 I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DO THIS, TO TAKE A BREAK AND STAY HOME. 745 00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:40,689 I DID. YOU KNOW, I FIGURED, THE KIDS ARE GROWN... 746 00:37:40,689 --> 00:37:42,661 I CAN TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE AND THE ERRANDS, 747 00:37:42,661 --> 00:37:44,893 AND IT'LL BE EASY, AND IT IS. 748 00:37:44,893 --> 00:37:46,895 IT'S TOO DAMN EASY. 749 00:37:46,895 --> 00:37:49,868 I AM FINISHED WITH MY WORK BY NOON, 750 00:37:49,868 --> 00:37:52,901 AND THEN I JUST SIT AROUND, 751 00:37:52,901 --> 00:37:55,304 WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME. 752 00:37:55,304 --> 00:37:56,305 SO... 753 00:37:56,305 --> 00:37:58,407 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? HMM? 754 00:37:58,407 --> 00:38:01,910 WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT? 755 00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:04,713 I DON'T KNOW. 756 00:38:06,815 --> 00:38:08,817 I'M A MIDDLE-AGED GUY, 757 00:38:08,817 --> 00:38:12,561 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. 758 00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:18,367 I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID. 759 00:38:18,367 --> 00:38:20,999 NO. 760 00:38:22,701 --> 00:38:24,773 NO. 761 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:37,816 HEY. 762 00:38:41,450 --> 00:38:44,793 I KNOW I DISAPPOINTED YOU TONIGHT, AND I'M REALLY SORRY. 763 00:38:44,793 --> 00:38:47,996 IT'S OKAY. I KNOW WHY YOU DID IT. 764 00:38:47,996 --> 00:38:50,559 I NEED MAKEUP, TOO. 765 00:38:50,559 --> 00:38:54,032 HONEY, I KNOW YOU THINK BEING PRETTY 766 00:38:54,032 --> 00:38:56,905 SEEMS LIKE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, 767 00:38:56,905 --> 00:38:58,907 BUT BELIEVE ME, IT'S NOT. 768 00:38:58,907 --> 00:39:01,510 YOU WERE A MODEL. 769 00:39:01,510 --> 00:39:03,041 (sighs) 770 00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:07,115 YES, I WAS. 771 00:39:07,115 --> 00:39:09,478 AND MY WHOLE LIFE, 772 00:39:09,478 --> 00:39:11,750 PEOPLE TOLD ME HOW PRETTY I WAS. 773 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,051 SO YOU KNOW WHAT? 774 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:16,084 I NEVER THOUGHT I HAD TO WORK HARD IN SCHOOL 775 00:39:16,084 --> 00:39:18,056 OR WORK ON FRIENDSHIPS 776 00:39:18,056 --> 00:39:21,129 OR MY PERSONALITY-- NONE OF IT. 777 00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:23,131 AND THEN I STOPPED MODELING, 778 00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:26,395 AND I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH ON THE INSIDE. 779 00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:29,798 AND I DON'T WANT THAT FOR YOU. 780 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:36,805 I WANT YOU TO BE BRAVE AND FUNNY AND CREATIVE... 781 00:39:36,805 --> 00:39:40,449 TO BE MORE THAN JUST A SHELL. 782 00:39:40,449 --> 00:39:43,512 I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE WHOLE RICH, GOOEY CENTER. 783 00:39:47,055 --> 00:39:49,558 WILL YOU PROMISE TO DO THAT FOR YOURSELF? 784 00:39:51,159 --> 00:39:52,721 OKAY. 785 00:39:55,464 --> 00:39:56,825 (kisses) 786 00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:01,029 WHEN DO I GET TO WEAR MAKEUP? 787 00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:06,875 I TELL YOU WHAT. YOU CAN WEAR MAKEUP 788 00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:09,638 THE DAY YOU REALIZE YOU DON'T REALLY NEED IT. 789 00:40:22,190 --> 00:40:23,522 HEY. 790 00:40:23,522 --> 00:40:25,524 I BOUGHT M.J. A FISHING POLE. 791 00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:28,156 I FIGURE I'D TEACH THE LITTLE GUY HOW TO CAST 792 00:40:28,156 --> 00:40:31,460 BEFORE WE HIT THE WATER. OH, MY GOD. WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THIS WEEKEND. 793 00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:34,002 I'M KIND OF... 794 00:40:34,002 --> 00:40:35,864 (sighs) GETTING MARRIED. 795 00:40:35,864 --> 00:40:38,066 WHAT? (chuckles) 796 00:40:38,066 --> 00:40:39,568 TO WHO? 797 00:40:39,568 --> 00:40:41,209 (Jackson) DAVE WILLIAMS. 798 00:40:41,209 --> 00:40:43,712 I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU OUT HERE. 799 00:40:43,712 --> 00:40:45,744 JACKSON. (chuckles) 800 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:49,077 JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WAS OUT OF THE PICTURE, I'M BACK. (chuckles) 801 00:40:53,622 --> 00:40:56,124 SINCE YOU HELD UP YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN, 802 00:40:56,124 --> 00:40:58,126 I'M GOING TO HOLD UP MINE. 803 00:40:58,126 --> 00:41:01,129 I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU WALK AWAY FROM THIS MARRIAGE 804 00:41:01,129 --> 00:41:03,131 WITH YOUR BUSINESS AND YOUR ASSETS INTACT. 805 00:41:03,131 --> 00:41:04,633 NOW TO ACCOMPLISH THIS, 806 00:41:04,633 --> 00:41:07,496 I MAY NEED YOU TO LIE, STONEWALL, 807 00:41:07,496 --> 00:41:10,198 EVEN RESORT TO SOME OUTRIGHT TRICKERY. 808 00:41:10,198 --> 00:41:12,470 MY QUESTION IS... 809 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,603 WILL YOU BE UP FOR THAT? 810 00:41:17,806 --> 00:41:21,249 I USED TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A GOOD PERSON. 811 00:41:21,249 --> 00:41:27,485 IF I HAD A CHOICE, I WOULD ALWAYS CHOOSE THE HIGH ROAD. 812 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:32,621 LATELY I'VE BEGUN TO REALIZE THAT, UM... 813 00:41:32,621 --> 00:41:36,224 I'M CAPABLE OF DOING WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE. 814 00:41:36,224 --> 00:41:38,997 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES YOU? 815 00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:42,871 THE PERFECT CLIENT. 816 00:41:42,871 --> 00:41:44,132 (chuckles) 817 00:41:48,837 --> 00:41:50,539 ON THIS STREET, 818 00:41:50,539 --> 00:41:54,182 THE BARGAINING IS FINISHED BY SUNDOWN... 819 00:41:56,244 --> 00:41:58,817 A DAUGHTER AGREES TO GO TO BED EARLY 820 00:41:58,817 --> 00:42:03,652 IF HER MOTHER LETS HER DRESS UP IN HER OLD GOWNS... 821 00:42:03,652 --> 00:42:07,525 A WOMAN AGREES TO LET HER FIANCé SPEND THE NIGHT 822 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:12,300 IF HE'LL AGREE TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA... 823 00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:15,764 A MAN ALLOWS HIS LOVER TO GET CLOSE 824 00:42:15,764 --> 00:42:19,568 AS LONG AS THEY DON'T DISCUSS THE FUTURE. 825 00:42:21,670 --> 00:42:27,215 YES, EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO BARGAIN ON WISTERIA LANE... 826 00:42:27,215 --> 00:42:29,277 HI. 827 00:42:29,277 --> 00:42:31,820 WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE? 828 00:42:31,820 --> 00:42:33,952 WELL, I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU. 829 00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,156 I'LL MAKE YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING 830 00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:40,629 IF YOU MAKE LOVE TO ME TONIGHT. 831 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,663 WHY NOT? 832 00:42:46,765 --> 00:42:49,067 BUT SOMETIMES... 833 00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:53,672 THEY GET MORE THAN THEY BARGAINED FOR. 60320

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