All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S05E17.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

PREVIOUSLY ON...

BEFORE WE MET, I WAS MARRIED
TO SOMEONE ELSE, BUT SHE DIED.

EDIE'S QUEST BEGAN.
WHAT WOULD YOU AND KATHERINE

THINK ABOUT GOING CAMPING?
IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

AND DAVE'S PLAN MOVED FORWARD.
THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

WERE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT
WANTING TO GO BACK TO WORK?

LYNETTE TOOK A NEW PATH.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

TELL CARLOS HE'S FIRED.

BUT IT WAS CARLOS' BOSS...

HE JUST KEPT TELLING ME
HE LOVES HER.
WHO WAS TERMINATED.

I JUST WANTED HIM
TO STOP TALKING.

COME ON, GABY.

WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.

(Mary Alice) GABRIELLE SOLIS
HATED GOING TO FUNERALS

FOR ALL SORTS OF REASONS--

BLACK WAS NOT HER COLOR...

(woman crying)

CRYING DEPRESSED HER...

AND LILIES MADE HER SNEEZE.

(sneezes)

(sighs)

ALSO, GABRIELLE DESPISED
ANY EVENT...

WHERE SHE WAS NOT
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.

LUCKILY, AT THIS FUNERAL,
THAT WOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM.

(lowered voice) GABY,
I WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HERE.

EVERYONE IS SAYING THAT
YOU AND CARLOS WERE THERE,

YOU KNOW,
WHEN MARIA KILLED BRADLEY.

(scoffs) YOU KNOW, JODY,
I REALLY DON'T THINK THIS IS

THE TIME OR PLACE
TO DISCUSS GORY DETAILS.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

(whispers)
SIT NEXT TO ME AT THE WAKE.

(whispers)
I WANT TO GO HOME!

WELL, WE JUST GOT HERE.
THE FUNERAL HASN'T EVEN STARTED.

YEAH, WELL, I HAVE A FEELING
MOST OF THESE VULTURES

DIDN'T COME TO PAY
THEIR RESPECTS TO BRAD.

THEY'RE JUST HERE TO PUMP US
FOR DIRT ABOUT HIS MURDER.

OKAY, EVEN SO, I CAN'T BE SEEN
WALKING OUT OF HERE EARLY.

THESE PEOPLE ARE MY COWORKERS.
WERE YOUR COWORKERS.
BRADLEY FIRED YOU. REMEMBER?

YEAH, AND MARIA KILLED HIM
EIGHT HOURS LATER.

HE MIGHT NOT HAVE TOLD ANYONE,
SO PIPE DOWN.

WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE THINKING

THAT WE PUT THE KNIFE
IN MARIA'S HANDS.

CARLOS.
(Carlos) OH, HI.

GABY, THIS IS, UH,
OWEN JOHNSTON, OUR C.E.O.

OH, HI.

HOW DO YOU DO?
I KNOW IT'S AN AWKWARD TIME,

BUT I MUST CATCH A PLANE
RIGHT AFTER THE SERVICE,

AND I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
ABOUT WHAT?

BRADLEY CALLED ME
BEFORE HE DIED.

HE WANTED TO DISCUSS
YOUR JOB PERFORMANCE.

WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?

WELL, SADLY,

BY THE TIME I RETURNED THE CALL,
HE WAS DEAD.

REALLY?

BUT I THINK I KNOW
WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL ME.

OH?

BASED UPON THE BIG BONUS
HE FOUGHT FOR CARLOS TO HAVE,

IT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS HE WAS
GOING TO RECOMMEND A PROMOTION.

THAT WAS MY GUESS, TOO.

THE TERRIBLE IRONY IS
HE DIDN'T REALIZE

THE JOB HE WAS RECOMMENDING

WOULD TURN OUT
TO BE HIS OWN.

WAIT.

SO YOU'RE OFFERING ME

BRADLEY'S JOB
AS PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY?

I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYONE BETTER SUITED.

NOW, OF COURSE, IT WOULD BE
THE SAME COMPENSATION PACKAGE.

PLEASE.
TELL ME YOU'LL ACCEPT.

HE SURE WILL. (chuckles)

THE MAN HAS
A PLANE TO CATCH.

I'D BE HONORED
TO STEP IN FOR BRADLEY.

GOOD. I'M GLAD
WE'VE GOT THAT HANDLED.

NOW WE CAN FOCUS ON THE SORROW
OF THIS TRAGIC DAY.

MM.

(lowered voice)
THE SAME COMPENSATION PACKAGE!

WE'RE RICH! (gasps)

(lowered voice)
WE ARE AT A FUNERAL.

PLEASE BE QUIET.

OKAY.

YES, GABRIELLE SOLIS HATED
GOING TO FUNERALS...

AND FOR GOD SAKES,
STOP SMILING.

MOSTLY BECAUSE
SHE COULDN'T PRETEND TO BE SAD

WHEN SHE WASN'T.

YOU CAN FIND THEM
ON ANY SIDEWALK IN ANY CITY...

PEOPLE WITH AGENDAS--

THE WOMAN
WHO CALLS UP AN OLD FRIEND

BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO BORROW SOME CASH...

THE MAN WHO TAKES HIS BOSS
TO LUNCH

BECAUSE HE WANTS
THE CORNER OFFICE...

THE GIRL WHO LOOKS AFTER
HER UNCLE

BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO BE IN THE WILL...

YES, YOU CAN SEE THESE PEOPLE
ALMOST EVERYWHERE.

DOING WHAT THEY CAN TO KEEP
THEIR AGENDAS HIDDEN.

HELLO.

HELLO.

I NEED TO LOOK SOMEONE UP
IN YOUR ARCHIVES.

IT'S A CLIENT, AND HE'S, UH,
A BIT OF A SMOOTH TALKER.

JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT HE'S
NOT GIVING ME THE RUNAROUND.

SURE. WHAT'S HIS NAME?

DAVID... DASH.

ALL I'VE GOT HERE ARE
THE OBITUARIES.

ANYTHING ELSE WILL TAKE ME
A COUPLE OF DAYS.

FINE.
LET'S START WITH THE OBITS.

NO DAVID...

THAT'S PROBABLY
BECAUSE HE'S NOT DEAD.

TRY LILA.

LILA DASH.

KILLED THREE YEARS AGO,
CAR CRASH.

THAT WAS HIS WIFE.
GIVE ME THAT ONE.

OKAY.

YOU WANT PAIGE DASH, TOO?

PAIGE?

YEAH, THEIR DAUGHTER.

"PAIGE DASH, 3 YEARS OLD,

DAUGHTER OF LILA AND DAVID."

IT SAYS HERE SHE DIED
IN THE SAME CRASH.

(speaks inaudibly)

WHO ARE WE DISHING?
I DO HOPE IT'S NOT ME.

NO,
WE'VE ALREADY COVERED YOU.
WE'VE MOVED ON
TO MY DAUGHTER, THE THIEF.

OH, DEAR. WHAT HAPPENED?

I'M MISSING
MY SMALL CANDY DISH.

I HAD IT LAST NIGHT WHEN
YOU GUYS WERE OVER FOR DINNER,

BECAUSE I REMEMBER
ORSON ADMIRING IT.

YES, I, UH...
REMEMBER THAT.

ANYWAY, JUANITA WENT OVER
BEFORE BREAKFAST

TO INVITE M.J.
TO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY,

AND, WELL,
CANDY PLUS JUANITA.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
SHERLOCK HOLMES

TO CRACK THIS CASE.
WELL, WE DON'T KNOW THAT FOR
SURE. I COULD HAVE MISPLACED IT.

I'M SURE
IT'LL TURN UP SOMEWHERE.

WELL... I'M OFF.

(tires screech)

ANDREW, CANCEL MY LUNCH.

NO, EVERYTHING'S FINE.

YOUR STEPFATHER'S
JUST MISPLACED A FEW THINGS,

AND I NEED TO FIND THEM.

(beep)

(Lynette)
HEY, TOM. NO, STILL WAITING.

BIG SURPRISE. THEY'RE RUNNING
BEHIND AT AN AD AGENCY.

(laughs)

SO DID ANY
OF THOSE OTHER PLACES CALL BACK?

SERIOUSLY?

SIX INTERVIEWS AND NOTHIN'?

WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY TRY
AND KEEP MY GAME FACE ON HERE.

I'LL--I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
I LOVE YOU. BYE.

(beep)

MARIANA!

I HAD A FEELING THAT YOU'D BE
INTERVIEWING FOR THIS!

HEY, NIKKI.

(laughs) SO I GUESS ANNA SHOULD
BE SHOWING UP ANY MINUTE, TOO.

NO. YOU DIDN'T HEAR?
SHE'S PREGNANT.

OH, MY GOD.
A KID AND SHE JUST TURNED 30?

BYE-BYE, CAREER.
OH, DON'T START.

I'M GONNA BE 30 IN 2 YEARS.
I FEEL SO OLD.

DO YOU WANNA KNOW
WHAT'S EVEN SADDER?

I JUST HEARD THAT
VERONICA'S LOOKING FOR WORK,

AND SHE'S 39.

IN THIS BUSINESS? (laughs)

AFTER 35, THEY TAKE YOU OUT BACK
AND THEY SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE.

(laughing)

(laughter)

LYNETTE SCAVO.

WE'RE READY FOR YOU.

COMING.

DO ME A FAVOR.

IF YOU HEAR A GUNSHOT,
TELL MY FOUR KIDS I LOVE THEM.

(reggae music playing)

NOW AS YOU LISTEN TO THE MUSIC,

SEE WHAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD.

WHAT SHAPES
DOES IT MAKE YOU SEE?

WHAT COLORS
ARE YOU THINKING OF?

UH, WHY ARE THE CHILDREN
DRAWING WITH CRAYONS?

THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE MAKING CLAY VASES.

WELL, I WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING MORE FREE.

IT'S AN IMAGINATION-BUILDING
EXERCISE.

LOOKS LIKE
A LOT OF SCRIBBLING TO ME.
(turns music off)

SUSAN,

THESE PARENTS PAY $22,000 A YEAR
TO SEND THEIR KIDS HERE.

AS ART TEACHERS,
IT'S OUR JOB TO GIVE THEM

SOMETHING ADORABLE
TO PUT ON THEIR DESKS

TO SMILE AT WHILE THEY WRITE
THOSE TUITION CHECKS.

I MEAN,

NO ONE'S GONNA FIND

THIS MEANINGLESS CHICKEN SCRATCH
ADORABLE.

NOT YOURS, MIA.
YOURS SHOWS REAL PROMISE.

JESSIE, YOU SAID THAT I COULD
PLAN THE LESSON TODAY,

AND I THINK
THIS IS VALUABLE.

I'M JUST TRYING
TO BE CREATIVE.

FINE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHERE I STAND.

WHAT'S AN "EVALLEY-ATION,"
MISS SUSAN?

AN EVALUATION?

WELL, THAT IS WHEN
SOMEONE JUDGES YOUR WORK

AND GIVES YOU A GRADE ON IT.

BUT DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT DOING THAT TODAY.

NO,
THEY'RE DOING IT TO YOU.

WHO?

MISS JESSIE
AND PRINCIPAL HOBSON.

I HEARD THEM TALKING.

OH, RIGHT. THAT'S NOT
TILL LATER THIS YEAR.

NO, IT'S THIS WEEK.
I HOPE YOU DON'T GET FIRED.

THE LADY
WITH THE PURPLE SWEATER

ARGUED WITH MISS JESSIE
LIKE YOU DID, AND SHE'S GONE.

THE LADY
WITH THE PURPLE SWEATER?

I NEVER LEARNED HER NAME.
SHE WASN'T HERE THAT LONG.

SHE WAS CREATIVE, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.

GRAB SOME CLAY.
WE'RE MAKING VASES.

DARLING, I'M HOME.

OH, AND I'M FAMISHED!

WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR DINNER?

HOW ABOUT A CONFESSION?

SIT DOWN.

START TALKING.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

I WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN TO ME

WHY THIS INSANITY
IS STILL GOING ON.

WHEN YOU STOLE
THAT TAPE RECORDER,

YOU SAID IT WAS
A ONETIME THING,

AN IMPULSIVE ACT
OF REVENGE.

IT WAS, AT FIRST.

BUT THEN... (sighs)

I KNOW IT SOUNDS ODD, BUT...

IT STARTED GIVING ME
A THRILL.

A THRILL?

STEALING A CERAMIC DUCK
GIVES YOU A THRILL?

IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN.

WELL, MAYBE YOU'D FEEL
MORE COMFORTABLE

TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL.

A PSYCHIATRIST?

(laughs) GOOD HEAVENS.
BREE, I'M NOT CRAZY.

(chuckles nervously)

LOOK, I'LL STOP.

I'LL--I'LL TELL EVERYONE
I'M SORRY

AND RETURN EVERYTHING.

YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING.
FROM THIS MOMENT ON,

YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM ENTERING
ANY OF OUR FRIENDS' HOMES.

BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA
GET THESE THINGS BACK?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

I KNOW I SPRUNG THIS ON YOU
AT THE LAST MINUTE.
OH, ACTUALLY,

I WAS JUST GONNA WATCH A DVD
AND ORDER SOME TAKEOUT,

SO I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO A HOME-COOKED MEAL.

OH, WELL, KEEP LOOKING,

'CAUSE I DON'T COOK,
AND SHANGHAI PANDA DELIVERS.

OH. WELL, THAT'LL BE FINE.

YOU KNOW, SUSAN,

I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED
TO GET YOUR INVITATION.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,

I JUST THINK THAT SCHOOL
IS SUCH A FORMAL ENVIRONMENT,

AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE
IF WE COULD LET LOOSE

AND DRINK A LITTLE WINE,
GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

OH, MY GOSH.
(cork pops)

WHAT?
(laughs) LOOK AT YOU.

YOU'RE LIKE THAT SCHOOLMARM
IN THE MOVIES

WHO LETS DOWN HER HAIR
AND VA-VA-VA-VOOM.

(laughs)

I'VE NEVER GOTTEN
A VA-VA-VA-VOOM BEFORE.

THANKS. YOU LOOK NICE, TOO.

OH, PLEASE. I DIDN'T EVEN
GET A CHANCE TO CHANGE.

MY EX WAS LATE
PICKING UP M.J.,

WHICH IS INSANE, 'CAUSE HE LIVES
RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

YOUR EX LIVES
ACROSS THE STREET?

(sighs) HE DECIDED TO SHACK UP
WITH MY BEST FRIEND.

AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY
I'M THROUGH WITH MEN.

SO WHAT ARE WE TOASTING TO?

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
BETTER.
(clink)

OH, NAPKINS.

I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

(grunts)

OH, HEY, MIKE. COME ON IN.

I WENT A LITTLE CRAZY
AT THE CAMPING SUPPLY STORE.

HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
I GOT KATHERINE HER OWN LANTERN.

I KNOW SHE WAS
A LITTLE WORRIED

ABOUT FINDING THE LATRINE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

UH, ACTUALLY, THAT'S,
UH, WHY I CAME BY.

KATHERINE SORT OF BAILED.

BAILED? YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT
GOING CAMPING WITH US?

AH, SHE'S REALLY SORRY,

BUT SHE'S GOTTA
GET HER TAXES DONE.

SO KATHERINE IS
BLOWING US OFF FOR TAXES.

ALSO, I THINK SHE'S WORRIED
SHE'D JUST BE A THIRD WHEEL.

WHAT? OH, COME ON.

I MEAN, THIS TRIP IS AS MUCH
ABOUT HER AS IT IS ABOUT US.

TELL HER SHE'S GOTTA COME.
FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T TELL
KATHERINE TO DO ANYTHING.

AND IT'LL BE BETTER
WITH JUST US GUYS.

WE CAN BURP AND SCRATCH
TO OUR HEART'S CONTENT.

BESIDES,
KATHERINE WAS NEVER

PART OF THE ORIGINAL PLAN
ANYWAY.

NO, SHE WASN'T.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL, UH,
SEE YOU SATURDAY.

YEAH.
(door closes)

(slurring)
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.

I'M NOT SAYING
I'M GIVING UP ON LOVE.

I'M SAYING
I'VE ALREADY GIVEN UP.

NO. I-I WILL NOT LET YOU.

YOU ARE TOO SMART AND FUNNY
AND ADORABLE.

AM I?

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE
BEEN COMPLIMENTED LIKE THAT.

WELL, I MEAN IT.

ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU.

YOU ARE A CATCH.

(gasps)

JEEZ.
HOW DID IT GET SO LATE?

IS THERE A SCHOOL POLICY
ON SHOWING UP TO WORK DRUNK?

(swallows)
IT'S FROWNED UPON.

OH.

I'VE HAD THE BEST TIME
TONIGHT.

OH, ME, TOO.

YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD
PROBABLY KEEP THIS BETWEEN US.

WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE
TALKING AT WORK.
IT'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.

OHH.

SO... YOU THINK YOU MIGHT
WANNA DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME?

IT'S A DATE.

VA-VA-VA-VOOM!

S-SO WHAT KIND OF KISS
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

A REGULAR KISS ON THE MOUTH...

THAT LASTED A LITTLE LONGER THAN
I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

SO WAS IT A GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED
AMERICAN KISS

OR ARE WE TALKING THE INFINITELY
SUPERIOR FRENCH VARIETY?

MM... (flaps tongue)

OKAY, I'M PROBABLY JUST BLOWING
THIS OUT OF PROPORTION.

I MEAN, SHE NEVER EVEN SAID
ANYTHING ABOUT BEING GAY.

WELL, THAT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE. RIGHT, LEE?

WHY ASK ME?

ASIDE FROM
THE OCCASIONAL PARADE,

GAY MEN RARELY INTERACT
WITH LESBIANS IN THE WILD.

SUSAN, IF YOU'RE NOT SURE
WHAT SHE MEANT BY IT,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE
A TALK WITH HER?
OH, THAT WOULD BE
WAY TOO AWKWARD. SHE'S MY BOSS.

SHE'S YOUR BOSS?

LET HER KISS YOU AGAIN,
THEN SUE HER.

(laughs)
OKAY, WE'RE GONNA
FIGURE THIS OUT FOR YOU.

WERE HER EYES OPEN OR SHUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, HOW MANY SECONDS
DID THE KISS LAST?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

OH, FOR GOD SAKES.

WAS IT THIS... MM.

OR WAS IT THIS...

(moans)

THE SECOND ONE?

CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE NOW DATING A LESBIAN.

SEE YOU AT THE PARADE.

(groans softly)

HEY, GABY?
(laughs)

I'LL SEE YA.

I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
FEEL FREE TO SAY NO.

OH, HONEY, I'M FLATTERED, BUT I
ONLY DID THAT TO HELP SUSAN OUT.

YEAH, THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT.

UM, I WANTED TO SAY I HEARD
ABOUT CARLOS' BIG PROMOTION.

(chuckles nervously)
CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU. I MEAN,
IT'S SAD HOW IT HAPPENED,

BUT, YOU KNOW,
WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS,

YOU GOTTA ANSWER THE DOOR,
RIGHT?
ABSOLUTELY. NOW YOU KNOW
I'M LOOKING FOR WORK?

OH, YEAH. HOW'S THAT GOING?
NOT GREAT. (chuckles)

SEE, WHILE I WAS WORKING
AT SCAVO'S,

I GOT SEVEN YEARS OLDER,
WHICH IS WEIRD,

SEEING AS HOW ALL THE C.E.O.s
GOT SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS,
NO ONE WANTS TO HIRE SOMEONE

WHO COULD HAVE MADE OUT
WITH THEIR DAD ON PROM NIGHT.

(chuckles nervously)
ANYWAY, I HEAR CARLOS

IS LOOKING FOR
A NEW DIRECTOR OF MARKETING.

THINK YOU COULD PUT IN
A GOOD WORD FOR ME?

OH. UH...

I DON'T KNOW.

Y-YOU DON'T KNOW?

WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU DID ADVERTISING.

YES, I HELPED ADVERTISE WHAT
COMPANIES DECIDED TO MARKET.

IT'S THE SAME THING.

COME ON.
YOU KNOW I'D BE GREAT.

I GUESS.

YOU GUESS? GABY...

LOOK, LYNETTE, YOU'RE MY FRIEND,
AND I LOVE YOU,

BUT AS FAR AS KNOWING IF YOU'RE
ANY GOOD AT YOUR JOB...

(inhales sharply)
ENOUGH WITH THE SHRUGGING.

COME ON.
YOU'RE PUTTING ME
IN A TOUGH SPOT.

CARLOS IS UNDER
A LOT OF PRESSURE NOW,

AND HE'S NOT REALLY
IN A POSITION

TO BE TAKING BIG RISKS.
YOU THINK I'M A BIG RISK?

WELL...

OKAY, THAT'S IT.

FOURTH SHRUG. I'M OUT.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.

UGH.

(door closes)

YEAH, JUST FOLLOW
THE ROAD AS IT CURVES.

WE'RE THE SECOND HOUSE
ON THE LEFT. OKAY, BYE.
(beep)

OH, PLACE LOOKS GREAT, BABE.
THANKS FOR DOING THIS.

IT'S ALL PART OF BEING
THE PRESIDENT'S WIFE.

SO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NEW HIRE.
SHE'S GONNA BE YOUR NUMBER TWO?

YEAH, AND I'M LUCKY
TO GET HER.

SMART AS A WHIP,
HARVARD M.B.A.

I'VE PROBABLY
MENTIONED HER BEFORE.

LUCY BLACKBURN?

MAYBE I'LL GO
PUT ON SOME MUSIC.

LUCY BLACKBURN?

PLEASE TELL ME
IT'S A COINCIDENCE THAT

YOUR NEW V.P. HAS THE SAME NAME
AS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND.
SHE WASN'T MY GIRLFRIEND.

WE WERE ROOMMATES.
WE SHARED AN APARTMENT.

YOU TOLD ME
YOU SLEPT WITH HER.
WELL, IT WAS A SMALL APARTMENT.

COME ON. IT WAS A CASUAL THING,
AND IT WAS A MILLION YEARS AGO.

I DON'T CARE! WHY COULDN'T YOU
HAVE TOLD ME THIS

BEFORE SHE'S ABOUT TO APPEAR
ON MY DOORSTEP?

I WANTED TO... BUT YOU WERE
ALWAYS NEXT TO SOMETHING SHARP.

GABY, I AM IN OVER MY HEAD
WITH THIS NEW JOB,

AND I NEED LUCY'S HELP.
PLEASE DON'T BE JEALOUS.

(scoffs) I'M NOT JEALOUS.
IT'S JUST... YOU CAN'T HIRE HER.

I'M MRS. PRESIDENT,
AND I GET A VOTE.

(doorbell rings)

THERE SHE IS. NOW PLEASE,
I'M BEGGING YOU...

(scoffs) WELL, YOU CAN BEG
ALL YOU WANT.

I AM NOT ON BOARD WITH THIS!

(chuckles) HEY, LUCY!

HEY!

HI. I'M LUCY.
YOU MUST BE GABRIELLE.

YOU CAN CALL ME GABY.
(chuckles)

COME ON IN!

(whispers) I'M ON BOARD.

I GOT A BEAD ON CHARLIE FIELDS
FOR C.F.O.

CHARLIE FIELDS? THERE'S NO WAY
YOU'RE GONNA GET HIM.

HE'S THE NUMBER TWO GUY
AT BREWSTER & PARENT.

RELAX. IT'LL TAKE
SOME MANEUVERING,

BUT I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN.
HOW?

CARLOS,
YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT.

IT'S BEST YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE THE BODIES ARE BURIED.
(Carlos laughs)

AH. (chuckles)

(cell phone rings)
WELL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL ETHICS
THAT NEED COMPROMISING.

(chuckles)

WOW. NOW I KNOW
WHY YOU WANTED TO HIRE HER.

SHE'S A FORCE OF NATURE.
MM, YOU SHOULD SEE HER
CLOSE A DEAL.

I'LL BET. AHH. SO WERE YOU
SURPRISED WHEN THE DOOR OPENED?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
STOPPED COUNTING CALORIES

SINCE THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW HER.

NO, SHE LOOKS ABOUT THE SAME.

WHAT? BUT...

YOU TWO USED TO HAVE SEX.

YEAH. SO?

SO DON'T GET ME WRONG--
SHE'S ATTRACTIVE.

IT'S JUST...
SHE'S NOT REALLY YOUR TYPE.

YOUR TYPE IS SKINNY MODEL.
OKAY, SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
SEE HER ON A RUNWAY.

EXCEPT MAYBE AT AN AIRPORT.
GABY!

YOU THINK I'M THAT SHALLOW,
THAT ALL I GO BY IS LOOKS?

YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS
SOMETHING WE HAD IN COMMON.

LOOK, LUCY IS BRILLIANT
AND WITTY

AND HAS MORE CONFIDENCE
THAN ANYBODY I'VE EVER MET.

THAT TYPE OF PERSONALITY
CAN BE VERY SEDUCTIVE.

AHH!

SOMEONE LIGHT ME A CIGAR.
YOU GOT HIM?

I FIND POACHING IS EASIER
WHEN YOU LEAD WITH,

"WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR SALARY."
(Carlos laughs)

SIZZLE ME.

(hissing)

AH, THERE IT IS,

THAT THRILL YOU GET FROM TAKING
SOMETHING THAT'S NOT YOURS.

(laughs)
(laughs)

HEY, ARE YOU STILL LOOKING
FOR A MARKETING DIRECTOR?

I HAVE A FRIEND

THAT I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
WORKING WITH YOU TWO.

NO PROBLEM, BREE.

WE BY ASPIRIN BY THE POUND
IN THIS HOUSE.

I'LL GET YOU SOME.

AH, YOU'RE A LIFESAVER!

YES, WE HAVE
LOTS OF SCREWDRIVERS.

WHAT KIND DO YOU NEED?
PHILLIPS HEAD?

YES, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.

I DON'T HAVE CUMIN,
BUT I PROBABLY HAVE CINNAMON.

OH. (chuckles)
CLOSE ENOUGH.

(unzips bag)

YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
TWO EGGS COMING RIGHT UP.

OH! WAIT.

I MADE OMELETS THIS MORNING,
SO I'M ALL OUT.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'LL JUST GO TO THE STORE.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

OH. I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT'S AWFULLY CUTE.

UNBELIEVABLE.

(scoffs) JUANITA,
GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE.

WHY ARE YOU, UH,
CALLING JUANITA?

TO FIND OUT WHAT
McCLUSKEY'S SLEEPING MEXICAN

IS DOING IN MY HOUSE.

THAT'S NOT YOURS?
NO. WHY WOULD YOU
THINK THAT?

OH! UH, I DON'T KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE IT IS.

IT'S BEEN SITTING
ON McCLUSKEY'S PORCH FOR YEARS.

I KEEP TELLING HER
HOW RACIST IT IS.

FIRST THE CANDY BOWL
AND NOW THIS?

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU
NOT TO STEAL?
I DIDN'T TAKE THAT.

JUANITA, YOU PLAY WITH IT EVERY
TIME WE GO BY MRS. McCLUSKEY'S.

NOW EITHER
TELL ME THE TRUTH,

OR I'M GONNA CANCEL
YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.

I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!
THAT'S IT. PARTY'S OVER!

GABY! AREN'T YOU BEING
A LITTLE HARSH?

I MEAN, PERHAPS SHE DIDN'T
TAKE IT.

WELL, THEN HOW ELSE
DID IT GET HERE?

MAYBE SHE DID IT.

JUANITA!

WHENEVER MY CHILDREN STOLE,

I SENT THEM TO BED
WITHOUT ANY SUPPER.

JUST A THOUGHT.

(door closes)

ORSON?

ORSON!

(strained voice)
ORSON! ORSON!

(normal voice) ORSON!

NO!

HI, BREE!
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
AT BOB AND LEE'S?

WELL, THEY INVITED ME OVER
FOR COFFEE.

AFTER I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT
OF THE NEIGHBORS' HOUSES?

(sighs deeply)
YOU STOLE AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?

NO. NO, I DIDN'T.

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING
BEHIND YOUR BACK?

NOTHING.

IT'S MINE.

YOU'RE TELLING ME

YOU OWN A MUG WITH A PICTURE
OF BERNADETTE PETERS IN "GYPSY"?

THIS IS QUITE A RéSUMé
YOU GOT HERE.
OH.

NORTHWESTERN, HUH?

YEP. THANK YOU.

SO, LYNETTE...
MM-HMM?

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

UM...

MR. VIVINETTO,

I'M NOT OBLIGATED TO ANSWER.
IT'S THE LAW.
RIGHT, RIGHT.

I WAS ONLY ASKING 'CAUSE
I-I ALSO WENT TO NORTHWESTERN,

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE
CROSSED PATHS THERE. (chuckles)
OH. (laughs)

WHAT--WHAT YEAR
DID YOU GRADUATE?

(chuckles) WELL, IF I WAS
DUMB ENOUGH TO ANSWER THAT,

I NEVER WOULD'VE
GOTTEN INTO NORTHWESTERN.

I-I UNDERSTAND, BUT, UH,
I'M GONNA BE HONEST HERE.

WE HAVE CERTAIN ACCOUNTS THAT
CATER TO A SPECIFIC DEMOGRAPHIC.

OKAY, I'M GONNA STOP YOU.
WHAT IS THIS OBSESSION WITH AGE?

I AM A VITAL WOMAN
WITH PASSION

AND A LIBRARY OF KNOWLEDGE
WHEN IT COMES TO THIS INDUSTRY.

WHY DOESN'T THAT
COUNT FOR SOMETHING?
WHAT I'M SAYING IS,

WE JUST LANDED THE COSGROVE'S
REVITALIZING SERUM ACCOUNT.

IT'S AN ANTIWRINKLE CREAM,
AND I NEED SOMEONE MORE MATURE

WHO CAN IDENTIFY WITH THE--
I'M 54.

HE DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH.

I SAID I WAS 54,
AND HE BOUGHT IT.

THERE WAS NOT A "WOW,
YOU LOOK GREAT FOR YOUR AGE!"

NOT EVEN A COURTESY GASP.

LOOK, YOU GOT THE JOB.
YOU'RE MAKING $80,000 A YEAR.

WHAT--WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

IT MATTERS BECAUSE I'M ONLY 43,
AND I LOOK LIKE I'M 39.

YOU'RE 43? BUT I'M--
I'M 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU,

AND I--
NOBODY CARES
HOW OLD YOU ARE, TOM.

(knock on door)

HEY.

GREAT NEWS! YOU GOT THE JOB!
YEAH! HOW'D YOU HEAR ABOUT IT?

HEAR ABOUT IT? HONEY, I DID IT.
I TALKED TO CARLOS. YOU'RE IN.
OH. WOW.

THAT JOB.

UM... I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.

SAY, "HOW DO I THANK YOU,
GREATEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD?

WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHSTONE?"
(laughs) WELL,
THANK YOU, GREATEST FRIEND,

BUT I JUST ACCEPTED
ANOTHER JOB.

WELL, UN-ACCEPT IT.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THIS JOB.

IT'S ESSENTIAL
THAT YOU BE THERE.
WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY.

I'M CONFUSED. BEFORE, YOU DIDN'T
EVEN WANT TO TALK TO HIM.

YOU WEREN'T EVEN SURE
I WAS GOOD.

YEAH. YES, AND THEN
I WENT HOME AND THOUGHT,

WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO SAY
TO SUCH A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND

WHO'S PROBABLY
REALLY, REALLY GOOD AT HER JOB.

SO...

I SAID, "CARLOS,
YOU HAVE TO HIRE LYNETTE."

I... DON'T KNOW.

WELL, HE'D HAVE TO MATCH
MY CURRENT OFFER.

YEAH, OKAY.
WHAT ARE THEY PAYING?

$100,000 A YEAR.

I DON'T THINK
THAT'LL BE A PROBLEM.

OH.

BY THE WAY, YOU'RE GONNA
BE REPORTING TO THIS WOMAN LUCY.

SHE'S A REAL STAR,

SO YOU'RE GONNA WANNA
KEEP AN EYE ON HER.

(footsteps approaching)

DECAF SOY LATTE--
YOUR FAVORITE.

THANKS.

I WAS THINKING
ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT...
MM, ME, TOO.

MAYBE FRIDAY YOU COULD
COME OVER TO MY PLACE,

AND WE COULD HANG OUT OR...
(groans)

YOU KNOW, I-I THINK YOU MAY HAVE
GOTTEN THE WRONG IMPRESSION.

I'M NOT...

INTO WOMEN.

MM-HMM.

NICE BOOTS.

(gasps) I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA RAIN.

OKAY, UM...

I'M NOT GAY.

MM-HMM, THEN WHAT WAS ALL THAT
STUFF ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT?

THE--THE TOUCHING MY KNEE?
THE "OH, YOU LOOK SO SEXY"?

THE GOOD NIGHT KISS?

OH, WELL, THAT KISS
WAS ALL YOU.

OH, IT WAS? (chuckles)

I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU BEING
THERE AND NOT PULLING AWAY.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE--

WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING THEN?
BECAUSE I--

BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED
OF LIVING A LIE.
WHAT?

I WAS YOU
20 YEARS AGO, SUSAN.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY WORRIED

THERE'S A LESBIAN INSIDE OF YOU
TRYING TO GET OUT.

ACTUALLY, I'M MORE WORRIED
ABOUT THE LESBIAN

THAT'S OUTSIDE OF ME
TRYING TO GET IN.

UM, CAN WE JUST TEACH THE CLASS
AND TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?

FINE.

SHOULDN'T YOU
BE DOING YOUR TAXES?

OH! GOD, DAVE!
(laughs) YOU SCARED ME.

OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
OH.

WHAT'S THIS I HEAR
ABOUT YOU NOT GOING CAMPING?

OH, WELL, IT IS
THAT TIME OF YEAR,

AND I GOT ALL THESE RECEIPTS
TO GO THROUGH.

I GOTTA SAY,
I'M MIGHTY DISAPPOINTED.

PLEASE.
I'M SURE YOU'RE RELIEVED

THERE WON'T BE A GIRL
TAGGING ALONG

TO SPOIL ALL YOUR MACHO FUN.
WELL, SEE, NOW THAT'S
WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.

I MOSTLY SAW THIS TRIP

AS A CHANCE
TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.
ME? WHY?

KATHERINE, THE TRUTH IS,
I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY MIKE'S
BECOME SO IMPORTANT TO ME.

AND EVER SINCE
YOU CAME INTO HIS LIFE,

WELL, I CAN SEE THE CHANGE.

HE'S SO MUCH HAPPIER,
SO MUCH MORE RELAXED.

YOU'VE GIVEN HIM
THIS SORT OF INNER PEACE.

I JUST THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE COOL

TO BECOME BUDDIES WITH THE WOMAN
WHO DID THAT FOR MY FRIEND.

WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY...

SO YOU'LL GO CAMPING
WITH US?

I'LL GO START PACKING
MY FLEECE.

FANTASTIC.
(chuckles)

DAVE?

DO YOU REALLY THINK

I'VE MADE THAT MUCH
OF A DIFFERENCE IN MIKE'S LIFE?

OH, ABSOLUTELY.

IF HE EVER LOST YOU...

IT WOULD DESTROY HIM.

OKAY, CLASS, LET'S SEE HOW

OUR ANIMALS OF AFRICA DRAWINGS
ARE GOING.

OH, EMMA,
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

EMMA DREW A GAZELLE.
ISN'T SHE PRETTY?

(gasps) ZACHARY,
IS THAT A RHINOCEROS?

WOW! HE LOOKS SO BIG
AND STRONG.

I LOVE RHINOS.

DO YOU, SUSAN?
DO YOU REALLY?

EXCUSE ME?

I'M JUST SAYING,
IF YOU WERE ON SAFARI

AND YOU SAW A SLEEK GAZELLE

NEXT TO A GRUNTING,
SWEATY RHINO...

YOUR EYE WOULDN'T
GO STRAIGHT TO THE GAZELLE?

UH...

THOUGH I WOULD DEFINITELY
APPRECIATE THE...

BEAUTY OF THE GAZELLE,

UH, IF I WAS GOING TO TAKE
A TRIP TO AFRICA...

I WOULD BE MORE EXCITED
TO SEE THE RHINOS.

I LIKE RHINOS, TOO.

YES, WE KNOW, JEFFREY.

WE'VE ALL SEEN YOU
PLAYING HOPSCOTCH AT RECESS.

ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME

THAT YOU'VE NEVER HAD
ANY EXPERIENCE WITH GAZELLES?

NOT EVEN IN COLLEGE?

NO.

AND... I WAS
ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM.

LOOK, SUSAN,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT?

THIS PARTICULAR GAZELLE

ISN'T YOUNG ENOUGH FOR YOU,

AND YOU DON'T WANT
TO HURT MY FEELINGS.

THAT IS NOT TRUE, AND I THINK
WE ARE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE

TO NO LONGER
SPEAKING IN METAPHOR.

WELL, THEN WHY WERE YOU
SO INTERESTED IN ME

IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WHY DID YOU ASK ME
TO YOUR HOUSE?

BECAUSE I WANTED YOU
TO GIVE ME A GOOD EVALUATION.

I SEE.

(sighs)

(door opens and closes)

IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU,
MISS SUSAN.

THE PROBLEM--HOW TO ATTRACT
HIGH NET WORTH CLIENTS

IN A DOWN ECONOMY.

THE SOLUTION? BE CREATIVE.

CHRISTIE'S IS HOSTING
ITS FIRST EVER "SEA AUCTION"

ON A YACHT IN ST. BARTHS.

(chuckles) I SEE A BOAT
FULL OF MILLIONAIRES

WAITING TO BE WOOED.

THIS IS NOT A BAD IDEA.

BESIDES, I HAVEN'T BEEN
TO ST. BARTHS

SINCE YOU TOOK ME THERE
TO CELEBRATE MY FIRST PROMOTION.

(cell phone ringing)
(laughs)
THAT WAS A FUN WEEKEND.

(Lucy) YEAH.

(sighs) LET'S DO IT.
YEP.

I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OKAY.

OKAY.

NOT TO PRY, BUT WHEN YOU SAID
CARLOS TOOK YOU TO ST. BARTHS...

OH, YEAH, WE LIVED TOGETHER
FOR A WHILE BACK IN THE DAY.

OH! (chuckles)
GABY DIDN'T MENTION THAT.

SEE, THAT IS WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT HER.

MOST WOMEN WOULD FREAK OUT

IF THEIR HUSBAND HIRED
AN EX-GIRLFRIEND

AND THEY WERE WORKING TOGETHER
UNCHAPERONED.

BUT SHE'S GOT THE CONFIDENCE
TO JUST BE COOL WITH IT.

YEAH. YEAH, THAT GABY'S
A REAL CLASS ACT.

(chuckles)

(sets down eraser)

JESSIE, I-I AM SO SORRY.

WHY? YOU WERE JUST
BEING HONEST.

STILL, UH...

I NEVER MEANT
TO LEAD YOU ON.

UH-HUH. WELL, I WAS
PLANNING ON GIVING YOU

A GOOD EVALUATION ANYWAY,

SO... EVERYTHING'S FINE.

LOOK, I NEED THIS JOB.

BUT EVEN IF I DIDN'T,

I WOULD STILL LIKE YOU
AS A PERSON.

PLEASE, STOP.
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY.

(chuckles) YOU KNOW,
I DON'T GET WHY PEOPLE SAY THAT.

I-I LOVE PITY. (chuckles)

PITY MEANS SOMEONE
IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH,

THAT THEY SYMPATHIZE,
AND I DO.

SUSAN... (sighs)

I'M SOMEONE WHO NEVER WENT OUT
AND LOOKED FOR LOVE.

I ASSUMED IT WOULD FIND ME.
BUT IT DIDN'T.

AND NOW I'M MAKING A FOOL
OF MYSELF...

(sighs) THROWING MYSELF
AT STRAIGHT WOMEN,

BECAUSE I'M SO AFRAID
OF BEING ALONE.

NOW HOW CAN YOU
POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THAT?

WELL, HERE'S HOW.
UM, I... (sighs)

I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE,

AND, UM, I'M STILL...

TODAY, ALONE.

JUST LIKE YOU.

IT'S NOT THE SAME.

WELL, OKAY, IT'S NOT,

BECAUSE I'M ALONE BUT I'M NOT
LONELY 'CAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS.

LOVE DOESN'T HAPPEN
FOR EVERYONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S
GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME ANYMORE.

BUT MY FRIENDS ARE THERE FOR ME
NO MATTER WHAT,

AND THAT HELPS.

SO AT THE VERY LEAST,

YOU KNOW,
LET ME BE THERE FOR YOU...

AS A FRIEND.

THAT'D BE NICE.

DO YOUR FRIENDS HUG?

WHAT'S THAT
IN THE GARBAGE CAN?

MY BOOTS.

HEY! (chuckles)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST WANTED TO SEE
HOW YOUR FIRST DAY WENT.

SIT. TAKE A LOAD OFF.
SPILL IT. (chuckles)

OH, THAT IS
SO THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW ME.

YEAH, I DO.

(sighs)
SO DID YOU GET A GOOD OFFICE?
WERE THE PEOPLE NICE?

OH, WHAT ABOUT LUCY?
DO YOU LIKE HER?

ACTUALLY...
I AM KINDA TIRED.

I THINK I'M GOING
TO HEAD INSIDE.

OOH! WHAT'S GOING ON?

I MENTIONED LUCY,
AND YOU GET ALL WEIRD.

IS SOMETHING GOING ON
WITH HER... AND CARLOS?

WHAT? NO.

I'M SURE
SHE'S JUST AFFECTIONATE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT DO YOU
MEAN BY AFFECTIONATE?

WELL, IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING.

BUT WHEN CARLOS WORKS
ON HIS COMPUTER AT HOME,

DOES HE TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF
THERE, TOO?

THAT SON OF A--
I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

NO, YOU WON'T GET THE CHANCE
'CAUSE I'M GONNA KILL YOU FIRST.

HUH?

THE HOUSELIGHTS ARE UP, GABY.
YOU CAN DROP THE ACT.

YOU ONLY HELPED ME GET THIS JOB
BECAUSE YOU NEEDED A SPY.

HOW DARE YOU!

AND, YES, I DID!

GABY!

YOU NEEDED A JOB.
I DID YOU A FAVOR.

AND THEN I BROUGHT YOU
HOT COCOA.

WHY DON'T YOU EVER THANK ME?
BECAUSE YOU USED ME!

AT LEAST WHEN I ASKED YOU
FOR A FAVOR, I WAS UP-FRONT.
OH, WERE YOU,

MISS "THEY OFFERED ME
$100,000 A YEAR"?

OH, YOU FOUND OUT
ABOUT THAT?

HONEY, I'VE PLAYED POKER WITH
YOU FOR THE PAST NINE YEARS.

I THINK I CAN TELL
WHEN YOU'RE BLUFFING.

OKAY, IT'S TRUE.
I USED YOU TO GET MORE MONEY,

BUT YOU USED ME FIRST.
FINE.
WE'RE A COUPLE OF USERS.

(sighs)

THE BIG QUESTION IS,
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

DO I STILL GET MY SALARY?

WILL YOU STILL BE MY SPY?

DAVE, I'M CURIOUS
ABOUT SOMETHING.

WHAT ABOUT?

WELL, HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT KIDS?

KIDS?

YEAH. HAVEN'T YOU EVER
WANTED ONE?

IS THIS YOUR COY WAY
OF TELLING ME YOU WANT A CHILD?

MAYBE. I HARDLY
GET TO SEE TRAVERS ANYMORE

NOW THAT HE'S OFF
AT PREP SCHOOL.

AND I ALWAYS WANTED A GIRL.

DOESN'T THAT SOUND
LIKE HEAVEN?

A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL

WITH BLONDE CURLS.

I HAD THIS... FRIEND

WHO HAD A LITTLE GIRL.

FROM THE MOMENT SHE WAS BORN,

SHE WAS HIS WHOLE LIFE.

UNFORTUNATELY,
SHE WAS IN AN ACCIDENT..

AND DIED.

HE TOLD ME
THAT WHEN THAT HAPPENED,

A PART OF HIM DIED, TOO.

HE SPENT
THE REST OF HIS LIFE

IN A KIND OF... DAZE,

ALWAYS...

WONDERING EXACTLY HOW OLD
SHE WOULD'VE BEEN,

WHAT SHE WOULD'VE LOOKED LIKE.

NO.

I DON'T THINK
I'D WANT A CHILD.

IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT.

YOU OKAY, BABE?

(whispers) YEAH.

(normal voice)
I... (sighs)

I'M JUST SAD
FOR YOUR FRIEND.

YEAH.

I HAD HOPED THAT
THIS COMPULSION TO STEAL

WAS SOMETHING
WE COULD SOLVE PRIVATELY,

BUT ORSON SEEMS UNABLE--

OR UNWILLING--

TO CONTROL HIMSELF.

IS THAT TRUE, ORSON? ARE YOU
UNABLE TO CONTROL YOURSELF?

YOU'LL SEE WHEN HE LEAVES,
AND YOUR LAMP IS MISSING.

SO... HOW DO YOU WANT
TO PROCEED?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BEGIN
WITH SOME COUPLES COUNSELING?

THIS ISN'T MY PROBLEM,
DR. BERNSTEIN.

HE'S THE SICK ONE.

FIX HIM.

(door opens and closes)

YOU KNOW WHY SHE'S SO ANGRY?

BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING
SHE CAN'T CONTROL,

AND I LOVE IT.

NOW THERE'S NO PHONE
IN THE CABIN,

BUT IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY,
YOU CAN REACH ME ON MY CELL.

YOU JUST BE CAREFUL
OUT THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO
WITHOUT YOU.

BYE.

(sighs)

HERE'S THE ARTICLE
THAT LADY WAS LOOKING FOR.

YOU WANT ME TO FAX IT?

AH, TAKE YOUR TIME.
SHE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS.

SHE'S PRETTY HOT, THOUGH.

HOW DOES THAT HELP ME?

SHE CAN WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW.
ALL RIGHT.

YOU CAN FIND THEM
ALMOST ANYWHERE--

FRIENDLY PEOPLE
WITH HIDDEN AGENDAS--

THE WOMAN
WHO USES HER NEIGHBOR

TO GET HERSELF A JOB...

THE WIFE
WHO USES HER INFLUENCE

TO HIRE A FRIENDLY SPY...

THE HUSBAND
WHO USES HIS CHARM

TO STEAL FROM HIS FRIENDS...

AND YOU CAN BE SURE
THE FRIENDLIEST PEOPLE OF ALL

HAVE AGENDAS THAT WON'T EVER
BE DISCOVERED...

NOT UNTIL...

IT'S TOO LATE.