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1
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ABOUT JOAN
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Directed by Laurent Larivière
3
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:43,958
My name is Joan. Joan Verra.
4
00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,875
It sounds masculine in French,
5
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:50,292
but it's common in Ireland,
my father's country.
6
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:53,042
It's spelled J-O-A-N.
7
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:55,333
But I hate being called Joanne.
8
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:56,917
It always happens.
9
00:02:57,583 --> 00:03:01,458
Some even pronounce it John,
like John Wayne! Absurd.
10
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:03,542
It's Joan.
11
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:09,208
I was born in the early 60s.
12
00:03:10,042 --> 00:03:12,500
My parents met in Saint-Nazaire.
13
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,625
My mother was a fairly free young woman,
14
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:17,542
very much in love.
15
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:20,917
My father left Ireland at 18
16
00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:23,167
to work in the shipyards.
17
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:27,125
He met my mother
at the launch of the liner France,
18
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:30,125
on May 11th, 1960.
19
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:33,333
I believed there was proof
of that moment.
20
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:35,083
But there wasn't.
21
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:38,625
I was even sure I'd held the photo
22
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:41,042
of them both next to the ship
23
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:42,875
in the joyful crowd.
24
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,667
It's absurd.
25
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:47,375
That image was purely in my mind.
26
00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:52,000
I'd heard the story so often,
it had become real.
27
00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:56,833
That's also how memories are made.
28
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,500
What do you want?
29
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:46,875
That's good.
30
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,167
Two...
31
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,417
Three...
32
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:52,833
Four...
33
00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:52,458
We've been worried sick!
34
00:23:52,667 --> 00:23:53,958
Don't start.
35
00:23:54,542 --> 00:23:55,833
Come here, my baby.
36
00:24:42,167 --> 00:24:44,500
Nathan is the best thing in my life.
37
00:24:44,958 --> 00:24:47,458
All mothers say that,
but for me it's true.
38
00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:50,625
It isn't true that he saved my life
39
00:24:50,917 --> 00:24:52,833
or gave it meaning.
40
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,750
I don't believe all that nonsense.
41
00:24:56,208 --> 00:24:58,042
We know life has no meaning,
42
00:24:58,542 --> 00:25:00,250
with offspring or without.
43
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,708
Ma'am, your cigarette.
44
00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:04,750
Oh, yes, sorry.
45
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,167
Take him, Dad.
46
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:25,750
Tim Ardenne speaking.
47
00:27:26,375 --> 00:27:28,167
- It's me.
- Yes?
48
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
Who?
49
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:33,167
You must have the wrong number, madam.
50
00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:34,875
Miss.
51
00:27:35,708 --> 00:27:39,083
I'm sorry, miss, I don't have time now.
52
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:40,875
My wife has vanished.
53
00:27:41,458 --> 00:27:44,375
I say my wife, but we're not married.
54
00:27:44,667 --> 00:27:46,792
I hate the idea of belonging.
55
00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:48,167
It's just quicker.
56
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,875
Yes, I understand, of course.
57
00:27:51,417 --> 00:27:53,917
She left one night, like that.
58
00:27:54,083 --> 00:27:56,000
Almost without warning.
59
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,250
She just told me, "Don't worry."
60
00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:04,042
Those words are ideal
to make someone worry, aren't they?
61
00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:06,625
It wasn't very wise of her.
62
00:28:09,667 --> 00:28:11,375
I'm sorry, my love.
63
00:28:11,542 --> 00:28:12,542
It's all right.
64
00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:15,500
I can come right away if you want.
65
00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:17,583
No, really, it's ok.
66
00:28:19,375 --> 00:28:21,333
It does me good being here.
67
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,375
One more time.
68
00:28:47,208 --> 00:28:48,917
I need a volunteer.
69
00:28:59,208 --> 00:29:00,500
Your weakness, James?
70
00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:06,125
Off the top of my head, my generosity.
I'm too genuine.
71
00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:07,958
It often deceives me.
72
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,625
He means in this exercise
73
00:29:12,792 --> 00:29:13,958
in particular.
74
00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:18,500
Any ideas?
75
00:29:20,583 --> 00:29:22,083
He neglects his back.
76
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:24,583
Exactly.
77
00:29:25,417 --> 00:29:28,083
I told him. It's the same at mah-jong.
78
00:29:35,750 --> 00:29:37,333
From the beginning.
79
00:29:40,250 --> 00:29:42,292
That man's not very nice.
80
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,333
Why do you say that?
81
00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:48,167
Grandpa's always on the floor.
82
00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:53,875
Grandpa agrees to it.
83
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:55,208
One more time.
84
00:29:55,375 --> 00:29:57,958
Learn to fall, to pick yourself up.
85
00:29:58,208 --> 00:30:00,000
Talk about a life metaphor.
86
00:30:00,167 --> 00:30:02,542
When you fall,
you hurt yourself, period.
87
00:30:03,833 --> 00:30:05,667
They lie to us, Nathan.
88
00:30:22,417 --> 00:30:24,042
What's she up to?
89
00:30:47,792 --> 00:30:48,833
Nearly ready.
90
00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:57,167
What took so long?
91
00:30:57,833 --> 00:30:59,708
I couldn't find my bag, sorry.
92
00:30:59,875 --> 00:31:01,000
Let's go.
93
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,083
I tried my best to resist.
94
00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:44,958
But it's uncontrollable.
95
00:32:48,792 --> 00:32:50,250
I feel as if
96
00:32:50,583 --> 00:32:51,792
I'm living again.
97
00:32:54,667 --> 00:32:56,583
Not that I felt dead before.
98
00:32:57,583 --> 00:32:59,083
Or sad or anything.
99
00:32:59,917 --> 00:33:01,625
I was already very happy.
100
00:33:02,625 --> 00:33:03,667
But now...
101
00:33:06,917 --> 00:33:08,167
It's much more.
102
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:12,583
Who knows where it'll lead,
103
00:33:12,917 --> 00:33:14,792
but I have to experience it.
104
00:33:15,333 --> 00:33:17,042
You can't even communicate.
105
00:33:18,042 --> 00:33:19,417
You're wrong.
106
00:33:23,917 --> 00:33:25,667
We communicate perfectly.
107
00:33:26,042 --> 00:33:29,125
Our bodies do the talking.
They speak the truth.
108
00:33:29,292 --> 00:33:31,750
That's a load of crap, Mum.
109
00:33:32,875 --> 00:33:33,875
And Dad?
110
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:37,708
I love James. I'll always love him.
111
00:33:38,542 --> 00:33:40,000
That's not the issue.
112
00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:42,875
Actually, I think it is.
113
00:33:43,958 --> 00:33:45,250
You must tell him.
114
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:46,750
No.
115
00:33:47,708 --> 00:33:51,667
You have to tell him.
I refuse to keep it to myself.
116
00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,208
You really want that?
117
00:33:53,542 --> 00:33:54,625
I want nothing.
118
00:33:55,875 --> 00:33:57,708
Face your responsibilities.
119
00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:03,792
You have to go now, darling.
120
00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:30,708
I cannot postpone anything,
121
00:34:31,708 --> 00:34:34,583
even if the night weighs like centuries
122
00:34:34,750 --> 00:34:37,833
on my shoulders,
123
00:34:38,667 --> 00:34:43,833
even if hesitant dawn is late in coming,
124
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:46,542
I cannot put off my life
125
00:34:46,708 --> 00:34:49,417
to another century,
126
00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:51,833
nor my love,
127
00:34:52,125 --> 00:34:53,958
nor my cry of release.
128
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:59,208
No, I cannot postpone the heart.
129
00:35:18,917 --> 00:35:20,333
What's going on?
130
00:35:21,333 --> 00:35:23,583
I didn't want it to be like this.
131
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:27,000
I wanted to drop this off
132
00:35:29,208 --> 00:35:30,500
before coming back.
133
00:35:37,292 --> 00:35:38,542
I'm leaving, James.
134
00:35:38,917 --> 00:35:41,708
To go where? What is this?
135
00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,542
I'm leaving, that's it.
136
00:35:46,833 --> 00:35:47,917
That's it?
137
00:35:48,583 --> 00:35:49,833
That's all?
138
00:35:54,292 --> 00:35:56,375
I'm moving to Japan with Kazuo.
139
00:35:56,958 --> 00:35:57,958
Kazuo?
140
00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:01,417
To Japan?
141
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,500
You know I love you.
142
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,167
Yes, I know.
143
00:36:09,708 --> 00:36:10,875
I love you too.
144
00:36:13,125 --> 00:36:14,792
I've nothing against you.
145
00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:16,875
Almost nothing.
146
00:36:20,708 --> 00:36:22,792
I've seen the solicitor.
147
00:36:22,958 --> 00:36:26,000
You get my father's firm.
You'll lack nothing.
148
00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:32,792
I renounce my status
as a mother and wife.
149
00:36:33,875 --> 00:36:36,417
It's too hasty.
You don't know what to expect.
150
00:36:37,167 --> 00:36:39,208
I can't miss out on my life.
151
00:36:46,708 --> 00:36:48,167
You're lucky.
152
00:37:28,292 --> 00:37:29,125
Hello?
153
00:37:29,292 --> 00:37:30,667
Hello, it's me.
154
00:37:30,833 --> 00:37:31,958
Nathan?
155
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:34,000
It's night there,
aren't you asleep?
156
00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:37,042
No, I'm not. I'm in France.
157
00:37:37,208 --> 00:37:38,375
In Paris?
158
00:37:38,542 --> 00:37:42,083
No, I'm not in Paris.
I took a train to the station in...
159
00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:46,542
What's that little station
10 km from the house?
160
00:37:46,958 --> 00:37:48,583
Why didn't you tell me?
161
00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:50,708
Surprise.
162
00:37:50,875 --> 00:37:52,375
I have to pick you up?
163
00:37:52,542 --> 00:37:55,333
I don't want to bother you,
you're busy...
164
00:37:55,542 --> 00:37:57,333
I can go back to Montreal.
165
00:37:57,542 --> 00:38:00,417
Don't be so touchy.
I'm on my way.
166
00:38:00,583 --> 00:38:01,917
No, I'm kidding.
167
00:38:02,125 --> 00:38:05,125
I hitched.
I'm at Mariposa, at the gate.
168
00:38:26,708 --> 00:38:28,083
My son!
169
00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:29,417
Joan.
170
00:38:30,083 --> 00:38:31,542
You can call me Mum.
171
00:38:31,708 --> 00:38:33,250
You used to hate that.
172
00:38:33,417 --> 00:38:35,750
I was too young to be a mother then.
173
00:38:35,917 --> 00:38:38,042
I need to get back to basics.
174
00:38:38,208 --> 00:38:39,917
Honoured to be part of that.
175
00:38:44,375 --> 00:38:46,083
- What?
- You're very elegant.
176
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:48,833
- Stop.
- You've changed. Your walk...
177
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,875
You're more self-confident.
178
00:38:51,458 --> 00:38:52,625
It's the snow.
179
00:38:52,792 --> 00:38:55,583
It's down to snowshoes,
not confidence.
180
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,750
How can you stand the snow?
181
00:38:57,958 --> 00:39:00,958
It hit -27° C in Montreal last winter.
182
00:39:01,125 --> 00:39:02,708
I don't think I could.
183
00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:05,250
You must come to see us one day.
184
00:39:06,292 --> 00:39:07,750
Why are you here?
185
00:39:10,042 --> 00:39:11,792
Did Tim ask you to come?
186
00:39:11,958 --> 00:39:13,250
You know he didn't.
187
00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:18,208
Is the small bedroom ok?
188
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,667
Your childhood room, I mean.
189
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:22,417
There's a big bed now.
190
00:39:22,625 --> 00:39:23,833
Anything suits me.
191
00:39:24,417 --> 00:39:26,083
It'll bring back memories.
192
00:39:32,958 --> 00:39:34,000
It's locked.
193
00:39:34,167 --> 00:39:37,375
The handle turns the other way around,
remember.
194
00:39:43,667 --> 00:39:44,917
Drat...
195
00:39:46,042 --> 00:39:48,375
Silly me, the key's in the vase.
196
00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:55,167
I don't know where it is.
197
00:39:58,083 --> 00:39:59,708
Never mind. Who cares?
198
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:03,083
The guest room suits me fine, ok.
199
00:40:33,667 --> 00:40:36,250
That unsettled me a lot as a kid.
200
00:40:36,417 --> 00:40:38,208
True, it is a bit raunchy.
201
00:40:53,958 --> 00:40:56,250
I'd forgotten how beautiful it is.
202
00:40:56,917 --> 00:40:59,375
I feel I haven't been here in ages.
203
00:40:59,625 --> 00:41:01,250
I can confirm that.
204
00:41:02,292 --> 00:41:04,417
Sorry I missed your retirement party.
205
00:41:04,583 --> 00:41:07,750
It's better this way.
I'd rather see you alone.
206
00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:10,042
Me too. It's been ages?
207
00:41:10,375 --> 00:41:11,417
Yes.
208
00:41:12,167 --> 00:41:13,333
I hesitated.
209
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:16,250
Should I come or not?
210
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:18,375
It's good you're here.
211
00:41:19,792 --> 00:41:21,375
It was a horrible party.
212
00:41:21,833 --> 00:41:23,000
I hated it.
213
00:41:23,625 --> 00:41:26,208
Solemn farewells, forced compliments...
214
00:41:26,750 --> 00:41:27,917
What a drag.
215
00:41:28,458 --> 00:41:31,292
All I miss are the manuscripts.
216
00:41:31,792 --> 00:41:34,375
They send me a few now and then.
217
00:41:34,917 --> 00:41:36,625
There's good stuff this year.
218
00:41:38,458 --> 00:41:41,292
I forgot,
you only read scientific texts.
219
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:42,750
No.
220
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,500
On the plane, I read a book of Tim's
I had lying around.
221
00:41:46,833 --> 00:41:49,208
Tim Ardenne's books don't lie around.
222
00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:50,375
Which one?
223
00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:54,125
A book about trains
and wrong directions...
224
00:41:54,542 --> 00:41:56,125
Steel and Sweat.
225
00:41:56,292 --> 00:41:58,167
- Did you like it?
- Yes.
226
00:41:58,542 --> 00:42:02,708
I really liked his description
of the female character.
227
00:42:04,708 --> 00:42:05,708
Is it you?
228
00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,458
He claims it is.
229
00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:10,542
But you know him.
230
00:42:12,333 --> 00:42:13,833
Has he always loved you?
231
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:15,542
Yes.
232
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:17,958
"As he walked,
233
00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:21,250
"her bright face
was continually before him.
234
00:42:21,667 --> 00:42:24,625
"It was madness to think of such purity.
235
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:26,708
"He had known vice and kindness,
236
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,542
"but never purity."
237
00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:31,917
Purity... That's me to a T.
238
00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:13,125
Careful!
239
00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:38,375
"Die...
240
00:43:38,667 --> 00:43:40,625
"That's what you have to do.
241
00:43:41,792 --> 00:43:43,708
"That is the only way
242
00:43:43,875 --> 00:43:46,875
"to truly gain access to life.
243
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,542
"One does not live
244
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:52,958
"if one is not prepared to die.
245
00:43:53,917 --> 00:43:56,125
"Missing your own death
246
00:43:56,458 --> 00:43:59,292
"would be worse than anything else."
247
00:44:02,792 --> 00:44:04,083
Mr Ardenne?
248
00:44:07,375 --> 00:44:08,375
Tim?
249
00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:11,083
Yes?
250
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:13,458
Dying as the only way
251
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:15,875
to truly gain access to life.
252
00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:19,458
That's quite contradictory.
253
00:44:19,625 --> 00:44:20,625
Yes.
254
00:44:24,417 --> 00:44:25,875
You think so?
255
00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:28,792
I guess it is.
256
00:44:38,125 --> 00:44:40,250
If it requires explanation...
257
00:44:47,875 --> 00:44:49,583
It's all in here.
258
00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:56,542
The last part of the book is very funny.
259
00:44:57,167 --> 00:44:58,833
The surprising thing
260
00:44:59,708 --> 00:45:04,042
is that people in France
laugh as much as they do in Germany.
261
00:45:04,333 --> 00:45:06,833
Could you define comedy for us?
262
00:45:07,417 --> 00:45:08,958
Absolutely not.
263
00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:13,667
But you agree the ending is funny?
264
00:45:19,667 --> 00:45:21,958
I can't stop people from laughing.
265
00:45:23,375 --> 00:45:25,750
What makes a good book for you?
266
00:45:26,167 --> 00:45:27,375
Alcohol.
267
00:45:28,417 --> 00:45:31,333
Is your success based
on a misunderstanding?
268
00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:36,750
I don't think we're loved or hated
for the right reasons.
269
00:45:39,667 --> 00:45:40,667
Ever.
270
00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:51,333
You first write in French,
271
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:53,000
then again in German.
272
00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:56,208
Isn't that a little strange?
273
00:45:58,292 --> 00:46:00,500
I'd rather end the interview.
274
00:46:01,958 --> 00:46:03,792
I'm suffering too much.
275
00:46:04,958 --> 00:46:06,375
Why are you suffering?
276
00:46:11,833 --> 00:46:13,833
I'm in love, you understand?
277
00:46:14,292 --> 00:46:16,167
That's wonderful!
278
00:46:18,583 --> 00:46:20,167
I love Joan Verra.
279
00:46:23,542 --> 00:46:25,292
Your French publisher?
280
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:28,083
She discovered me.
281
00:46:28,542 --> 00:46:29,792
Fantastic.
282
00:46:30,583 --> 00:46:32,000
She doesn't love me.
283
00:46:33,042 --> 00:46:35,250
I'm sure she likes you.
284
00:46:36,333 --> 00:46:40,333
The title, The Misery of Beautiful Days,
where is it from?
285
00:46:41,917 --> 00:46:43,750
She doesn't love me.
286
00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:46,792
She likes me.
287
00:46:47,667 --> 00:46:49,250
She often says so.
288
00:46:51,250 --> 00:46:53,125
That's something, I suppose.
289
00:46:55,083 --> 00:46:57,583
She can even say, "I like you a lot."
290
00:47:00,042 --> 00:47:01,958
And that's really...
291
00:47:03,917 --> 00:47:06,125
That's really unbearable.
292
00:47:11,125 --> 00:47:12,167
Let's stop.
293
00:47:12,750 --> 00:47:14,208
It's for the best.
294
00:47:14,375 --> 00:47:16,125
I'll see you again soon.
295
00:47:17,625 --> 00:47:19,417
Off line, thank you.
296
00:47:29,333 --> 00:47:30,583
Why are you here?
297
00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:32,167
I had some free time.
298
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:35,125
Rubbish, you can't skip school.
299
00:47:35,667 --> 00:47:37,458
Go back to Paris. I'm busy.
300
00:47:37,625 --> 00:47:40,542
He takes up all my energy.
I'm working.
301
00:47:41,083 --> 00:47:43,250
It's ok, I know you're working.
302
00:47:43,417 --> 00:47:46,208
I'm not a child. I can manage on my own.
303
00:47:46,417 --> 00:47:47,583
How was I?
304
00:47:48,167 --> 00:47:49,458
Devastating.
305
00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:53,083
I could've shed real tears, you know.
306
00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:55,583
It would've been no use.
307
00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:58,167
You have no emotions.
308
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:01,250
I have emotions,
but different from yours.
309
00:48:03,333 --> 00:48:04,750
Forgive me.
310
00:48:20,208 --> 00:48:23,083
- What paid for your ticket?
- Your jewels.
311
00:48:23,417 --> 00:48:24,500
Stupid.
312
00:48:27,542 --> 00:48:29,458
What's wrong now?
313
00:48:29,958 --> 00:48:31,500
I won't sign this crap.
314
00:48:31,792 --> 00:48:33,250
It's your first novel.
315
00:48:33,417 --> 00:48:34,917
It was a rough draft.
316
00:48:37,250 --> 00:48:39,042
The book is important for me.
317
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:42,042
It changed my life. Literally.
318
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:44,208
It's a masterpiece.
319
00:48:44,375 --> 00:48:45,375
A masterpiece?
320
00:48:45,542 --> 00:48:46,750
Nathan, please.
321
00:48:46,917 --> 00:48:49,875
I felt brought back to life,
thanks to this book.
322
00:48:50,042 --> 00:48:52,208
I rediscovered my vitality.
323
00:48:52,625 --> 00:48:56,875
Through the life of a garbageman
crushed to death by his truck?
324
00:48:57,292 --> 00:48:58,542
She seems moved.
325
00:49:00,375 --> 00:49:01,875
Good for her.
326
00:49:02,333 --> 00:49:03,917
And I have no emotions?
327
00:49:05,125 --> 00:49:07,042
You're all pissing me off!
328
00:49:15,833 --> 00:49:18,625
I can sign it if you like.
329
00:49:19,042 --> 00:49:21,792
I can imitate his signature perfectly.
330
00:49:32,625 --> 00:49:33,792
Are you ok?
331
00:49:37,583 --> 00:49:38,583
It's here.
332
00:49:39,417 --> 00:49:41,333
I feel it seeping in.
333
00:49:42,458 --> 00:49:45,083
It's harder and harder.
334
00:49:45,250 --> 00:49:47,375
Each time, it's harder.
335
00:49:47,667 --> 00:49:48,500
What is?
336
00:49:48,667 --> 00:49:49,792
Dying.
337
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,042
Haven't you ever died?
338
00:49:52,583 --> 00:49:53,625
Never.
339
00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:56,708
I knew it. You can't understand.
340
00:49:56,875 --> 00:49:58,125
Give me your hand.
341
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:01,083
Things end.
342
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:05,083
That's how it is. They end.
You must accept it.
343
00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:08,250
You have to be strong.
Promise me?
344
00:50:08,417 --> 00:50:09,792
I promise.
345
00:50:11,125 --> 00:50:12,667
Beyond the grave,
346
00:50:12,958 --> 00:50:14,542
I'll still love you.
347
00:50:19,167 --> 00:50:20,583
He's a handful.
348
00:50:21,208 --> 00:50:22,875
It'd be no fun if he wasn't.
349
00:50:23,042 --> 00:50:24,250
Can you stand him?
350
00:50:24,417 --> 00:50:27,083
I actually find him touching in a way.
351
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:36,875
You're like the moon and I'm the sun.
352
00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:38,250
Touching?
353
00:50:39,708 --> 00:50:41,167
He has his qualities.
354
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:45,917
Come on!
355
00:50:53,417 --> 00:50:54,417
Move it!
356
00:50:56,917 --> 00:50:59,000
Don't you want to call a taxi?
357
00:50:59,250 --> 00:51:02,125
No use, we're only five minutes away.
358
00:51:02,625 --> 00:51:05,292
I'm in pain and I'm tired.
359
00:51:09,417 --> 00:51:10,500
Joan!
360
00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:24,750
Joan...
361
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:28,042
I owe you an apology.
362
00:51:28,208 --> 00:51:29,333
That's true.
363
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,750
For my behaviour, not for my love.
364
00:51:31,917 --> 00:51:33,458
- Tim...
- Let me speak.
365
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:38,083
It won't take long
and I'll only say it once.
366
00:51:38,500 --> 00:51:40,542
I won't repeat this.
After,
367
00:51:40,833 --> 00:51:42,458
I'll leave you in peace.
368
00:51:49,583 --> 00:51:51,792
Living without you is unbearable.
369
00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:55,667
Yet I try to break away from you.
I really try.
370
00:51:56,417 --> 00:51:57,542
But I can't.
371
00:51:59,292 --> 00:52:02,583
I've always tried
to be independent of women,
372
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:05,375
to limit their power over me.
373
00:52:06,167 --> 00:52:08,417
I felt in control of my feelings.
374
00:52:09,792 --> 00:52:10,875
But then...
375
00:52:12,417 --> 00:52:16,542
you arrived in my life
and I realized nothing I had lived...
376
00:52:18,833 --> 00:52:19,833
nothing...
377
00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,583
had any real value.
378
00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:28,417
All that mattered
was being by your side.
379
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,333
Or not too far away.
380
00:52:30,625 --> 00:52:32,458
Like these last few years.
381
00:52:35,417 --> 00:52:38,083
I also know that I'm unbearable.
382
00:52:38,583 --> 00:52:41,458
I understand
that you feel like slapping me.
383
00:52:44,708 --> 00:52:45,792
Go ahead.
384
00:53:41,917 --> 00:53:44,208
What are you doing in Cologne?
385
00:53:44,792 --> 00:53:46,917
Three days apart was too much?
386
00:53:47,083 --> 00:53:48,458
I can't believe that.
387
00:53:54,417 --> 00:53:55,833
You searched my office?
388
00:53:58,083 --> 00:53:59,542
You read my notebooks?
389
00:54:01,250 --> 00:54:02,625
Of course you did.
390
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:05,167
I never would have.
391
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:06,583
Did you enjoy it?
392
00:54:06,917 --> 00:54:08,542
Yes, I enjoyed it.
393
00:54:09,708 --> 00:54:11,083
Did you learn anything?
394
00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:12,250
You bet.
395
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:13,708
Such as what?
396
00:54:14,292 --> 00:54:15,542
About you and Doug.
397
00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:17,625
You won't say Dad?
398
00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:19,208
Why would I?
399
00:54:20,125 --> 00:54:22,083
I don't know what you learned.
400
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:25,833
I never lied to you. I told you...
401
00:54:26,875 --> 00:54:27,667
everything.
402
00:54:27,833 --> 00:54:28,833
In general.
403
00:54:28,958 --> 00:54:30,625
Now I know the details.
404
00:54:30,875 --> 00:54:32,667
The magic of a first love.
405
00:54:32,958 --> 00:54:34,625
Irony doesn't suit you.
406
00:54:35,167 --> 00:54:36,333
You're hurt.
407
00:54:36,500 --> 00:54:38,458
There's stuff on me
I don't like.
408
00:54:41,292 --> 00:54:42,625
I'm listening.
409
00:54:51,917 --> 00:54:53,167
"Friday, July 10th.
410
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:57,167
"I fear Nathan may turn superficial,
focused on his appearance."
411
00:54:57,333 --> 00:54:58,333
Nice.
412
00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:01,417
"Each hair he counts on his chest
413
00:55:01,583 --> 00:55:03,125
"is a personal victory."
414
00:55:03,292 --> 00:55:05,625
I never did that. It's humiliating.
415
00:55:06,125 --> 00:55:07,417
So don't read it.
416
00:55:07,583 --> 00:55:09,667
This is less well written, I feel.
417
00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,125
You're the expert.
418
00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:12,625
Don't be mean.
419
00:55:13,167 --> 00:55:14,292
I'm not.
420
00:55:17,208 --> 00:55:19,000
- Please...
- Hold on.
421
00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:20,625
Enough.
422
00:55:20,792 --> 00:55:24,208
If you came about your puberty,
I don't have time.
423
00:55:24,375 --> 00:55:26,625
I came cos you fell asleep one day.
424
00:55:26,792 --> 00:55:28,958
One summer. In August.
425
00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:31,542
Where is it?
426
00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:32,250
You fell asleep.
427
00:57:32,792 --> 00:57:33,833
Why?
428
00:57:34,708 --> 00:57:36,000
Out of carelessness?
429
00:57:37,083 --> 00:57:38,875
I forbid you to say that.
430
00:57:40,917 --> 00:57:42,167
You forbid me?
431
00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:24,833
Can I have a drag?
432
00:58:25,625 --> 00:58:27,250
- You smoke?
- No.
433
00:58:44,167 --> 00:58:45,750
How long did it last?
434
00:58:45,958 --> 00:58:47,042
I don't know.
435
00:58:48,042 --> 00:58:51,333
How long was I unconscious?
Ten minutes? Fifteen?
436
00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:52,833
I've no idea.
437
00:58:53,417 --> 00:58:55,500
I remember it seemed endless.
438
00:58:56,167 --> 00:58:58,333
Without the fire brigade...
439
00:58:59,958 --> 00:59:01,792
You weren't going to tell me?
440
00:59:03,958 --> 00:59:05,000
No.
441
00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:08,500
You're well, in shape.
Nothing else matters.
442
00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:13,875
You can't even remember it.
What are you after?
443
00:59:15,333 --> 00:59:17,417
You need reassuring, is that it?
444
00:59:18,083 --> 00:59:19,083
Yes.
445
00:59:21,750 --> 00:59:23,917
Doubt my love and I'll kill you.
446
00:59:32,167 --> 00:59:34,792
Same again, please. Vodka tonic.
447
00:59:40,333 --> 00:59:42,333
It burns? That's good.
448
00:59:42,792 --> 00:59:44,583
It explodes in your head.
449
00:59:44,750 --> 00:59:45,833
Perfect.
450
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,750
You've drunk before, right?
451
00:59:50,583 --> 00:59:51,917
It's the first time?
452
00:59:53,625 --> 00:59:55,542
You've always been a bit behind.
453
00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:04,042
Nathan, you're a young man now.
You'll be a real man soon.
454
01:00:04,208 --> 01:00:05,833
I won't talk sex with you.
455
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,000
No.
456
01:00:07,250 --> 01:00:08,417
Listen to me.
457
01:00:08,792 --> 01:00:11,333
Your schooling in the next five years
458
01:00:11,667 --> 01:00:13,625
will determine your future.
459
01:00:14,167 --> 01:00:16,875
Do your learning now while you can.
460
01:00:17,042 --> 01:00:18,792
In five years, it'll be too late.
461
01:00:19,708 --> 01:00:22,750
Knowing you,
you'll realize and find it unbearable.
462
01:00:23,167 --> 01:00:25,792
I won't be able to help, obviously.
463
01:00:25,958 --> 01:00:27,083
Obviously.
464
01:00:30,667 --> 01:00:32,958
You'll have to face problems alone.
465
01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:36,917
I'll be there if you need me,
but that won't help.
466
01:00:40,042 --> 01:00:42,083
We have to face things alone.
467
01:00:48,042 --> 01:00:50,125
But you know that, right?
468
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,000
No.
469
01:01:08,625 --> 01:01:09,625
Come on.
470
01:01:15,667 --> 01:01:18,083
Others' looks shouldn't matter.
471
01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:20,917
It's about your life.
472
01:01:29,042 --> 01:01:30,208
Stop it.
473
01:03:10,875 --> 01:03:12,000
Nathan?
474
01:03:14,417 --> 01:03:16,125
Nathan, are you awake?
475
01:03:17,375 --> 01:03:20,208
If you have a long nap now,
you'll be a mess.
476
01:03:20,375 --> 01:03:22,167
You won't sleep tonight.
477
01:03:24,792 --> 01:03:25,958
Nathan?
478
01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:28,292
Can you hear me?
479
01:05:03,750 --> 01:05:04,750
Yes?
480
01:05:08,292 --> 01:05:09,500
We had an appointment?
481
01:05:09,917 --> 01:05:11,958
Do I need one to see my mother?
482
01:05:12,125 --> 01:05:15,208
Of course not.
Sorry. My head's stuffed with work!
483
01:05:15,458 --> 01:05:16,875
I'll come back later.
484
01:05:18,125 --> 01:05:19,792
Champagne? Why?
485
01:05:21,167 --> 01:05:23,208
I forgot your birthday again?
486
01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:24,375
No.
487
01:05:24,542 --> 01:05:25,792
I had an interview.
488
01:05:25,958 --> 01:05:27,500
For a lab?
You never said.
489
01:05:28,125 --> 01:05:29,583
I wanted to be sure.
490
01:05:29,917 --> 01:05:32,417
So guess who they chose.
491
01:05:34,375 --> 01:05:35,417
Your son.
492
01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:37,833
Wonderful! I'm proud of you.
493
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,708
Now I'll have access to real resources,
494
01:05:40,875 --> 01:05:42,625
unlike what I have now,
495
01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:45,042
and with a totally free rein.
496
01:05:46,083 --> 01:05:48,042
And I'll be heading a team.
497
01:05:48,208 --> 01:05:49,542
My dream come true.
498
01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:52,750
I have to admit,
it's scary to think about,
499
01:05:52,917 --> 01:05:54,292
so I try not to.
500
01:05:55,458 --> 01:05:56,958
You'll do brilliantly.
501
01:05:57,125 --> 01:05:59,333
It's a real dream. The building
502
01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:01,375
is modern, centralized.
503
01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:03,458
It's state-of-the-art over there.
504
01:06:06,250 --> 01:06:07,250
Over there?
505
01:06:09,792 --> 01:06:10,958
It's in Montreal.
506
01:06:26,625 --> 01:06:27,625
Joan?
507
01:06:28,417 --> 01:06:30,042
If you're happy...
508
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:33,417
It's good.
509
01:06:37,167 --> 01:06:38,542
I need a cigarette.
510
01:06:39,042 --> 01:06:40,125
You have one.
511
01:06:41,583 --> 01:06:43,042
I need another.
512
01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:47,000
You don't seem pleased.
513
01:06:49,625 --> 01:06:51,875
I am. I'm very happy for you.
514
01:06:52,167 --> 01:06:53,625
But seeing you leave...
515
01:06:55,167 --> 01:06:57,167
Children leave their parents.
516
01:06:58,083 --> 01:06:59,458
Sooner or later.
517
01:07:00,917 --> 01:07:02,792
I'm 30, after all.
518
01:07:04,125 --> 01:07:05,125
So?
519
01:07:11,708 --> 01:07:13,792
Forgive me. I'm being stupid.
520
01:07:16,667 --> 01:07:18,167
I'll come back often.
521
01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:21,583
You can visit too.
You don't know Quebec.
522
01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:23,625
It's really nice.
523
01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:28,625
Want that champagne?
524
01:07:29,833 --> 01:07:31,375
I'll get the glasses.
525
01:07:52,583 --> 01:07:53,625
Where were you?
526
01:07:53,792 --> 01:07:55,708
An errand in the village.
527
01:07:55,875 --> 01:07:57,583
- On foot?
- Yes.
528
01:07:57,875 --> 01:07:59,250
Whatever for?
529
01:07:59,417 --> 01:08:00,958
"Did you rest, dear?"
530
01:08:01,833 --> 01:08:03,208
"Yes, thank you."
531
01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:06,125
"Your jet lag from the flight
to see your mum?"
532
01:08:06,417 --> 01:08:07,833
"I'll get over it soon."
533
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,458
"Will it be sunny?"
534
01:08:09,625 --> 01:08:11,417
I hate when you do that!
535
01:08:11,625 --> 01:08:13,292
I was worried sick.
536
01:08:13,458 --> 01:08:14,875
Why, exactly?
537
01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:17,667
I'm a big boy now.
538
01:08:17,958 --> 01:08:19,458
Why leave me alone?
539
01:08:19,625 --> 01:08:21,583
I couldn't sleep,
540
01:08:21,750 --> 01:08:24,167
you weren't around
and I needed a walk.
541
01:08:24,333 --> 01:08:25,583
I was here.
542
01:08:25,917 --> 01:08:28,042
You can't vanish like that.
543
01:08:29,083 --> 01:08:30,292
I didn't vanish.
544
01:08:30,625 --> 01:08:32,250
Mum, calm down.
545
01:08:32,417 --> 01:08:34,250
No, I don't want to!
546
01:08:41,833 --> 01:08:44,042
Find something to do, I'll tidy up.
547
01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:49,708
If you came to mess me about,
548
01:08:49,958 --> 01:08:52,000
pack up and go back to Montreal.
549
01:08:53,250 --> 01:08:54,250
Drop it.
550
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,208
Still like doughnut peaches?
551
01:08:58,375 --> 01:08:59,375
Yes.
552
01:08:59,708 --> 01:09:02,042
I got some for you.
Was it a good idea?
553
01:09:02,667 --> 01:09:04,000
I wonder.
554
01:10:02,542 --> 01:10:04,750
"He had finally met her.
555
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,000
"The woman,
556
01:10:06,417 --> 01:10:09,417
"the one he had waited for
without realizing it,
557
01:10:09,583 --> 01:10:11,417
"the one destined for him.
558
01:10:11,792 --> 01:10:13,542
"He had looked into her soul
559
01:10:13,708 --> 01:10:17,125
"and had grasped
her rare special something,
560
01:10:17,708 --> 01:10:20,458
"as beautiful as the eyes reflecting it,
561
01:10:20,708 --> 01:10:23,417
"as beautiful as the flesh embodying it.
562
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,292
"Not one word, not one sign,
563
01:10:26,583 --> 01:10:30,542
"not one word of advice from the Divine
had guided him.
564
01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:32,875
"He didn't believe in the Divine.
565
01:10:33,333 --> 01:10:35,417
"There was no beyond.
566
01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:37,417
"He was sure of it.
567
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:39,542
"Life had to be lived,
568
01:10:39,958 --> 01:10:43,583
"here and now,
before sinking into the void."
569
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:46,958
It's magnificent.
570
01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:48,750
You can't deny it.
571
01:10:48,917 --> 01:10:50,750
It's great, easy to read.
572
01:10:51,917 --> 01:10:53,125
Very pleasant.
573
01:10:56,250 --> 01:10:57,375
Pleasant?
574
01:10:57,958 --> 01:11:00,500
- Is that an insult?
- Not at all.
575
01:11:00,792 --> 01:11:03,083
You certainly don't disappoint us.
576
01:11:03,792 --> 01:11:06,583
Really,
it's exactly what we expect of you.
577
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:08,875
You must be very pleased.
578
01:11:11,250 --> 01:11:13,250
You insult me so naturally.
579
01:11:13,417 --> 01:11:15,875
I was bored stiff!
It's the same recipe.
580
01:11:16,042 --> 01:11:18,000
I've read it ten times before.
581
01:11:18,208 --> 01:11:20,208
I may be wrong, but this line...
582
01:11:23,625 --> 01:11:25,667
"There was no beyond.
He was sure of it.
583
01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:28,473
"Life had to be lived, here and now,
before sinking into the void."
584
01:11:28,583 --> 01:11:30,667
Wasn't that in your last novel?
585
01:11:30,833 --> 01:11:32,500
And the one before too?
586
01:11:35,042 --> 01:11:37,000
I assert a right to repetition.
587
01:11:37,167 --> 01:11:40,667
People will end up realizing
I've only written one book
588
01:11:40,833 --> 01:11:43,083
that took on different forms.
589
01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:45,750
All great artists dig a furrow.
590
01:11:45,917 --> 01:11:47,333
More like a tunnel.
591
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:50,375
The train driver
blending with his engine,
592
01:11:50,542 --> 01:11:51,958
you call that new?
593
01:11:52,125 --> 01:11:54,792
He doesn't die,
crushed by the machine.
594
01:11:56,708 --> 01:11:57,792
I guess...
595
01:12:00,250 --> 01:12:01,708
Show me your breasts?
596
01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:03,583
No.
597
01:12:03,958 --> 01:12:04,958
You hesitated.
598
01:12:05,417 --> 01:12:08,375
Of course, you turn me on
and that annoys me.
599
01:12:09,042 --> 01:12:10,542
But I know your game.
600
01:12:10,708 --> 01:12:12,458
Sex as a diversionary tactic
601
01:12:12,792 --> 01:12:13,833
is pathetic.
602
01:12:15,208 --> 01:12:18,000
The first part,
the kid watching trains,
603
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:18,917
who cares?
604
01:12:19,083 --> 01:12:20,708
We want to be on the tracks.
605
01:12:20,875 --> 01:12:22,375
We want movement!
606
01:12:27,917 --> 01:12:30,417
And the affair with his boss' wife...
607
01:12:30,583 --> 01:12:32,292
Talk about tasteless!
608
01:12:36,625 --> 01:12:38,250
It compromises the ending.
609
01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:42,583
We need a rewrite.
610
01:12:47,292 --> 01:12:48,292
Hello?
611
01:12:51,417 --> 01:12:53,875
It's the Saint-Nazaire housing office.
612
01:12:54,042 --> 01:12:58,750
I'm calling about overdue rent
on apartment B14 at Ambroise Paré.
613
01:12:59,958 --> 01:13:03,292
There must be some mistake.
I don't understand.
614
01:13:03,458 --> 01:13:06,125
You are Madeleine Verra's daughter?
615
01:13:06,542 --> 01:13:08,292
It must be a homonym.
616
01:13:08,458 --> 01:13:11,500
My mother moved to Japan
over twenty years ago.
617
01:13:11,667 --> 01:13:14,208
She was Madeleine Joséphine Verra,
618
01:13:14,667 --> 01:13:17,125
née Saulet on October 14, 1942,
619
01:13:17,292 --> 01:13:18,500
in Saint-Nazaire
620
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:20,667
who died last week?
621
01:13:26,208 --> 01:13:27,208
Hello?
622
01:13:29,042 --> 01:13:30,208
Yes...
623
01:13:31,708 --> 01:13:36,042
You need to clear the apartment.
There's a waiting list. Sorry.
624
01:13:37,417 --> 01:13:39,292
Yes, all right.
625
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:47,875
We get a lot of deaths here.
626
01:13:48,708 --> 01:13:50,583
But hers really wasn't fair.
627
01:13:51,792 --> 01:13:54,333
People liked her.
She helped out a lot.
628
01:13:54,958 --> 01:13:56,792
They'd leave her their kids.
629
01:13:57,083 --> 01:13:59,417
She'd babysit for a bit of money.
630
01:13:59,583 --> 01:14:00,833
She needed it.
631
01:14:02,375 --> 01:14:05,250
I never saw anyone so good with kids.
632
01:14:05,583 --> 01:14:06,958
What a joke...
633
01:14:10,458 --> 01:14:14,083
We invited her once for Christmas.
Something simple.
634
01:14:14,250 --> 01:14:15,250
She refused.
635
01:14:15,333 --> 01:14:17,792
That wasn't nice.
We did it for her sake.
636
01:14:17,958 --> 01:14:19,875
You accept an invitation.
637
01:14:20,042 --> 01:14:22,208
We'll bring them back later.
638
01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:24,250
It's the last door.
639
01:16:18,292 --> 01:16:19,458
I'm here.
640
01:16:52,083 --> 01:16:54,333
What the hell was she doing here?
641
01:16:54,875 --> 01:16:56,542
What is this shit?
642
01:16:56,958 --> 01:16:58,417
When did she come back?
643
01:16:58,917 --> 01:17:01,000
These are her rent receipts.
644
01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:06,250
The oldest one is from November 1989.
645
01:17:06,958 --> 01:17:08,875
That's over fifteen years ago.
646
01:17:10,083 --> 01:17:12,750
How come she never told us?
647
01:17:15,667 --> 01:17:17,750
What did we do to deserve this?
648
01:17:17,917 --> 01:17:20,500
It's sick. I was alone with Nathan.
649
01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:23,125
It's really sick.
650
01:17:23,542 --> 01:17:24,750
Don't say that.
651
01:17:26,917 --> 01:17:28,583
Who knows what happened.
652
01:17:29,958 --> 01:17:31,875
Nothing, apparently.
653
01:17:41,625 --> 01:17:43,708
She'd planned her own funeral.
654
01:17:43,875 --> 01:17:45,042
A long time ago.
655
01:17:45,792 --> 01:17:47,708
On arriving back here.
656
01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:52,708
She even deprived us of her death.
657
01:17:53,417 --> 01:17:55,167
Her ashes were scattered
658
01:17:55,333 --> 01:17:56,875
in the local cemetery.
659
01:17:59,875 --> 01:18:01,958
There's a sealed envelope.
660
01:18:22,250 --> 01:18:25,792
Excuse me,
the garden of remembrance, please?
661
01:18:25,958 --> 01:18:29,292
Over there.
The memorial area is being remodelled.
662
01:18:31,167 --> 01:18:32,292
Thank you.
663
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:34,625
Memorial area...
664
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:04,458
"Joan, my darling little girl,
665
01:19:04,625 --> 01:19:07,042
"Don't seek an explanation
in these words.
666
01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:08,750
"Life is elusive.
667
01:19:08,917 --> 01:19:11,542
"I have no answers. I regret nothing.
668
01:19:11,833 --> 01:19:14,708
"Leaving for Japan
was a wonderful adventure.
669
01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:17,167
"You've no idea how...
670
01:19:18,667 --> 01:19:19,667
"how...
671
01:19:20,250 --> 01:19:21,458
"happy I was there.
672
01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:24,833
"I found my place and culture.
It's so beautiful.
673
01:19:25,083 --> 01:19:27,667
"Cherry blossom season is magical.
674
01:19:27,833 --> 01:19:30,958
"Kazuo and I opened
a small bonsai tree shop.
675
01:19:31,500 --> 01:19:35,125
"I became a specialist,
almost a celebrity.
676
01:19:35,292 --> 01:19:37,458
"Just think, a European
677
01:19:37,625 --> 01:19:40,417
"outdoing the Japanese
in their ancient art.
678
01:19:40,750 --> 01:19:43,042
"They'd cross the country to see me.
679
01:19:43,417 --> 01:19:45,542
"But Kazuo piled up gambling debts.
680
01:19:45,708 --> 01:19:47,625
"He owed money to Yakuza.
681
01:19:47,833 --> 01:19:50,917
"As he couldn't pay,
he became their henchman.
682
01:19:51,083 --> 01:19:52,667
"But he kept gambling.
683
01:19:52,917 --> 01:19:55,792
"I found all that out
when we had to flee.
684
01:19:55,958 --> 01:19:58,375
"We moved to South Korea.
685
01:19:58,542 --> 01:20:01,042
"We lived humbly, but we were in love.
686
01:20:01,208 --> 01:20:02,417
"That was the main thing."
687
01:20:02,583 --> 01:20:04,208
Even in death, she lies.
688
01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:08,667
"I'm lying, of course.
I lie in writing this.
689
01:20:08,833 --> 01:20:11,542
"Should I say that I made a mistake,
690
01:20:11,708 --> 01:20:14,500
"that Kazuo was always a total asshole,
691
01:20:14,667 --> 01:20:17,333
"and that I lived in solitude and shame?
692
01:20:17,583 --> 01:20:20,250
"Frankly, which version do you prefer?
693
01:20:23,250 --> 01:20:25,583
"I never stopped thinking of you all,
694
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:29,083
"refusing to admit my weakness
and my failure.
695
01:20:29,250 --> 01:20:31,375
"Make your life magical,
696
01:20:33,542 --> 01:20:35,167
"my darling little girl.
697
01:20:36,042 --> 01:20:37,958
"I've been happy, you know.
698
01:20:40,875 --> 01:20:44,000
"Remember that. I loved living."
699
01:21:13,458 --> 01:21:15,125
"I would like the dead
700
01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:16,667
"to stay dead.
701
01:21:17,458 --> 01:21:20,333
"Why should they rule over me?
702
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:23,042
"Beauty is alive
703
01:21:23,542 --> 01:21:25,042
"and it is eternal."
704
01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:34,875
"Beauty is alive and it is eternal."
705
01:21:37,417 --> 01:21:38,625
You believe that?
706
01:21:39,708 --> 01:21:40,708
No.
707
01:21:42,417 --> 01:21:43,458
All the same...
708
01:21:47,375 --> 01:21:48,958
What do we drink to?
709
01:21:50,667 --> 01:21:53,208
We drink to my mother, I suppose.
710
01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:56,042
And to Japan.
711
01:21:57,750 --> 01:22:01,333
We should have brought sake
to drink on her grave.
712
01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,708
That would have had style.
713
01:22:17,208 --> 01:22:18,792
We did a new experiment.
714
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,542
We managed to erase a memory
in a brain.
715
01:22:22,917 --> 01:22:23,917
No!
716
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,583
A mouse's brain.
717
01:22:26,958 --> 01:22:28,167
Can mice swim?
718
01:22:28,333 --> 01:22:29,583
Yes, very well.
719
01:22:30,292 --> 01:22:31,750
But that's not the issue.
720
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,583
We put a plastic platform in the pool,
721
01:22:34,750 --> 01:22:36,750
the same colour as the liquid.
722
01:22:37,917 --> 01:22:39,042
Very hard to see.
723
01:22:39,208 --> 01:22:42,125
The mouse has to find it to rest on it.
724
01:22:42,708 --> 01:22:44,208
It's the only solution.
725
01:22:44,500 --> 01:22:46,667
It takes time, but she finds it.
726
01:22:47,125 --> 01:22:49,083
- Poor thing.
- What?
727
01:22:49,250 --> 01:22:50,833
You hate mice.
728
01:22:52,125 --> 01:22:53,125
The next day,
729
01:22:53,167 --> 01:22:55,583
we do it again
with the same mouse
730
01:22:56,167 --> 01:22:57,667
who remembers everything.
731
01:22:57,833 --> 01:23:00,417
She swims straight to the platform
732
01:23:00,583 --> 01:23:01,583
without hesitation.
733
01:23:01,750 --> 01:23:03,208
She knows where it is.
734
01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:04,708
She has learned.
735
01:23:04,875 --> 01:23:06,083
Fascinating.
736
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,667
Day three, we start again.
737
01:23:09,083 --> 01:23:12,458
But we inject a substance
that blocks the memory.
738
01:23:12,958 --> 01:23:15,292
I knew torture would be involved.
739
01:23:15,875 --> 01:23:18,333
She totally forgot her memories.
740
01:23:19,250 --> 01:23:21,500
It's as if she has lost her memory.
741
01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,417
She swims and swims.
742
01:23:23,958 --> 01:23:25,042
She swims.
743
01:23:26,125 --> 01:23:27,167
She swims...
744
01:23:30,083 --> 01:23:31,250
She swims...
745
01:24:30,750 --> 01:24:31,792
Mum...
746
01:24:37,667 --> 01:24:38,667
Mum?
747
01:26:23,083 --> 01:26:24,250
It's over.
748
01:26:33,875 --> 01:26:35,583
You shouldn't have died.
749
01:26:42,083 --> 01:26:43,667
No one dies aged six.
750
01:26:46,333 --> 01:26:47,375
Sorry.
751
01:26:50,542 --> 01:26:51,583
Sorry.
752
01:26:52,542 --> 01:26:53,917
It's not your fault.
753
01:26:55,542 --> 01:26:56,958
Of course it is.
754
01:26:58,083 --> 01:26:59,167
No.
755
01:27:01,333 --> 01:27:02,792
You were so young.
756
01:27:11,958 --> 01:27:13,333
You're so handsome.
757
01:27:23,417 --> 01:27:24,583
My little mum...
758
01:27:32,375 --> 01:27:33,583
It'll be ok.
759
01:27:35,917 --> 01:27:37,000
It'll be ok.
760
01:27:52,167 --> 01:27:54,375
After you died, it all fell apart.
761
01:27:55,042 --> 01:27:56,333
I was lost.
762
01:27:57,000 --> 01:27:58,458
What should I do?
763
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:02,208
I was waiting for who knows what.
764
01:28:03,542 --> 01:28:06,750
Then one day, at a street corner,
you appeared.
765
01:28:06,958 --> 01:28:08,750
As if nothing had happened.
766
01:28:09,083 --> 01:28:11,000
The way you do so well.
767
01:28:11,500 --> 01:28:14,250
It was obvious. A secret.
768
01:28:14,542 --> 01:28:15,542
Our secret.
769
01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:16,917
Exactly.
770
01:28:17,083 --> 01:28:19,458
The grief faded and I accepted it.
771
01:28:19,958 --> 01:28:21,375
You did well to summon me.
772
01:28:21,542 --> 01:28:22,958
As if I had a choice.
773
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,750
True, at first,
it scared me a little.
774
01:28:26,792 --> 01:28:28,750
Everything scares you a little.
775
01:28:28,917 --> 01:28:29,958
Not true!
776
01:28:30,125 --> 01:28:31,333
You hypocrite.
777
01:28:31,500 --> 01:28:33,375
I'm a hypocrite?
778
01:28:33,708 --> 01:28:35,167
Coming from you?
779
01:28:37,750 --> 01:28:39,000
Did you see him again?
780
01:28:39,167 --> 01:28:41,042
- Who?
- You know who.
781
01:28:42,208 --> 01:28:43,292
Your father?
782
01:28:44,125 --> 01:28:46,583
Yes, in Paris, on the street, by chance.
783
01:28:46,833 --> 01:28:48,000
What's he like?
784
01:28:49,125 --> 01:28:51,000
He has aged. He has changed.
785
01:28:51,667 --> 01:28:52,958
Like me, I suppose.
786
01:28:53,125 --> 01:28:54,125
No.
787
01:28:55,000 --> 01:28:56,125
You're sweet.
788
01:28:58,875 --> 01:29:00,250
You didn't tell him?
789
01:29:02,042 --> 01:29:04,875
That you had been born
and that you died? No.
790
01:29:05,458 --> 01:29:07,000
There was no need.
791
01:29:07,333 --> 01:29:08,542
It was cruel.
792
01:29:10,875 --> 01:29:12,083
I've no idea.
793
01:29:12,708 --> 01:29:14,125
Maybe I should have.
794
01:29:15,125 --> 01:29:16,250
I don't know.
795
01:29:20,375 --> 01:29:21,917
It's a beautiful house.
796
01:29:23,333 --> 01:29:24,708
It was.
797
01:29:50,083 --> 01:29:52,750
What are you doing alone in the dark?
798
01:29:54,500 --> 01:29:55,500
Nothing.
799
01:29:59,208 --> 01:30:00,625
Did you fight again?
800
01:30:00,792 --> 01:30:01,792
Yes.
801
01:30:02,167 --> 01:30:03,625
Over a girl again?
802
01:30:05,167 --> 01:30:06,208
Why then?
803
01:30:06,583 --> 01:30:08,167
She has soft skin.
804
01:30:08,708 --> 01:30:10,042
That's no reason.
805
01:30:10,875 --> 01:30:13,000
How do you know her skin's soft?
806
01:30:13,833 --> 01:30:17,708
I hold her hand and the skin
under her wrist is soft.
807
01:30:17,917 --> 01:30:20,125
Where do you get your aggressiveness?
808
01:30:20,750 --> 01:30:22,083
Not from me anyhow.
809
01:30:22,917 --> 01:30:24,208
My father, maybe?
810
01:30:24,375 --> 01:30:25,375
No.
811
01:30:26,333 --> 01:30:28,708
No, Doug wasn't like that.
812
01:30:30,667 --> 01:30:34,000
I think you have to know
how to defend yourself in life.
813
01:30:37,708 --> 01:30:39,708
I must tell you something, my love.
814
01:30:40,208 --> 01:30:41,250
What?
815
01:30:43,042 --> 01:30:45,708
Your presence has helped
all these years.
816
01:30:45,875 --> 01:30:47,875
I know. I noticed.
817
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:51,083
But I need you to leave now.
818
01:30:53,458 --> 01:30:54,917
I can manage differently.
819
01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:56,292
I can tell.
820
01:31:00,292 --> 01:31:02,042
You want me to go?
821
01:31:08,292 --> 01:31:09,458
Are you sad?
822
01:31:10,000 --> 01:31:11,000
No.
823
01:31:18,917 --> 01:31:21,250
I can tell you are. I'm your mother.
824
01:31:25,708 --> 01:31:27,292
Is it over then?
825
01:31:29,708 --> 01:31:30,708
Yes.
826
01:33:31,042 --> 01:33:32,083
You came.
827
01:33:33,417 --> 01:33:34,792
You're stubborn.
828
01:33:36,208 --> 01:33:38,000
I sensed I had to.
829
01:33:49,625 --> 01:33:50,625
Are you ok?
830
01:33:52,167 --> 01:33:53,333
I'll be fine.
831
01:34:16,458 --> 01:34:17,917
The stairs creak a bit?
832
01:34:18,083 --> 01:34:20,250
Part of the charm of an old house.
833
01:34:20,417 --> 01:34:23,500
Old stones, creaking stairs,
banging shutters.
834
01:34:23,667 --> 01:34:26,167
- Why bother otherwise?
- I love it.
835
01:34:26,333 --> 01:34:27,500
Me too.
836
01:34:30,333 --> 01:34:34,292
This room faces south-west
and is sunny all day.
837
01:34:34,792 --> 01:34:36,542
The view is wonderful.
838
01:34:39,292 --> 01:34:41,708
There's direct access to the kitchen.
839
01:34:42,417 --> 01:34:46,792
Maybe we could demolish this
to open the kitchen to the dining room.
840
01:34:47,000 --> 01:34:48,167
Good idea.
841
01:34:48,333 --> 01:34:49,792
Isn't it a bearing wall?
842
01:34:49,958 --> 01:34:54,083
Behind the cupboards, yes,
but you can put in an IPN beam.
843
01:34:54,375 --> 01:34:56,250
But this one can go.
844
01:35:01,458 --> 01:35:02,583
And the roof?
845
01:35:04,792 --> 01:35:05,958
It's great.
846
01:35:06,292 --> 01:35:07,583
In good condition?
847
01:35:08,292 --> 01:35:09,792
Never a problem.
848
01:35:11,375 --> 01:35:13,125
I'll let you talk it over.
849
01:35:13,292 --> 01:35:15,292
Feel free to go back upstairs.
850
01:35:15,625 --> 01:35:18,125
Any questions, I'll be in the garden.
851
01:35:18,500 --> 01:35:20,292
- See you shortly.
- Thank you.
852
01:35:57,000 --> 01:35:59,000
Is there a manual in German?
853
01:35:59,167 --> 01:36:02,250
No, my dear friend, only in French.
854
01:36:03,792 --> 01:36:06,125
You told them I was your gardener?
855
01:36:06,458 --> 01:36:09,625
Yes, I suggested
making you part of the deal.
856
01:36:09,792 --> 01:36:11,458
Not gifted, but cheap.
857
01:36:12,917 --> 01:36:14,208
I'm flattered.
858
01:36:15,125 --> 01:36:16,500
Are they interested?
859
01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,417
Hard to say. The husband's fussy.
860
01:36:19,583 --> 01:36:23,292
I said I had someone
coming back tomorrow with an offer.
861
01:36:23,625 --> 01:36:24,750
That's not true.
862
01:36:24,917 --> 01:36:26,875
Yes, but it got them thinking.
863
01:36:28,208 --> 01:36:32,542
Why mow a lawn
since the grass always grows back?
864
01:36:33,167 --> 01:36:35,167
It's the cycle of life, right?
865
01:36:35,708 --> 01:36:36,875
So that's it.
866
01:36:37,250 --> 01:36:38,250
Life.
867
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:40,333
How much longer?
868
01:36:42,833 --> 01:36:44,625
I love you, Mr Tim Ardenne.
869
01:36:45,625 --> 01:36:47,292
You saved my life, sir.
870
01:36:51,500 --> 01:36:53,125
It was an honour to meet you.
871
01:36:53,292 --> 01:36:56,375
No, we said we'd never say such things.
872
01:36:57,250 --> 01:36:58,667
I might cry.
873
01:37:00,083 --> 01:37:01,500
My bad.
874
01:37:05,958 --> 01:37:09,083
As a child, I hated daylight.
It terrified me.
875
01:37:09,292 --> 01:37:10,875
Now, I find it reassuring.
876
01:37:11,417 --> 01:37:13,833
We should move closer to the poles.
877
01:37:14,583 --> 01:37:16,708
Go where the sun never sets?
878
01:37:17,333 --> 01:37:18,125
Good idea.
879
01:37:18,292 --> 01:37:19,458
Greenland.
880
01:37:20,000 --> 01:37:21,542
We'd live in an igloo.
881
01:37:23,083 --> 01:37:26,542
We'd cut holes in the ice to fish.
882
01:37:27,167 --> 01:37:28,500
You hate the cold,
883
01:37:28,667 --> 01:37:31,958
but I'll buy you thick sweaters
and scarves.
884
01:37:33,250 --> 01:37:34,458
Woollen ones.
885
01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:36,875
And a woolly hat too.
886
01:37:37,792 --> 01:37:39,083
It would suit you.
887
01:41:10,875 --> 01:41:13,500
Subtitles by Ian Burley
888
01:41:13,667 --> 01:41:16,292
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