All language subtitles for The.Larkins.2021.S02E05.1080p.STV.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264[eztv.re]_Subtitles03
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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,960
BIRDS CHIRP
2
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,960
It feels weird, Pop not being here.
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,959
The twins said
that since the verdict,
4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,959
Joy Spokes is avoiding them.
5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,959
Well, she's shy at the best of times
is Joy.
6
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,959
And little Dennis Lottle
told 'em we'd lose our farm.
7
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,959
Hmm. People can be cruel.
Especially the Lottles.
8
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:22,959
How can anyone think
he's a criminal?
9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,959
Well, the few that do will
look stupid when we prove he's not.
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,479
Exactly, so we need to gather
11
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,959
evidence of errors
in the prosecution,
12
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,959
and appeal to the magistrate.
13
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:32,959
Who are these evil neighbours?
14
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,959
Well, we realised we don't know much
about them, so I'm investigating.
15
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,959
Good. So, these are avenues
to explore
16
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,959
to investigate
financial impropriety.
17
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,960
At last, your legendary skills
as a taxman are coming in handy.
18
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,959
I'm still furious with you
for not telling us about Pop's case.
19
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,959
And interrupt your honeymoon?
20
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,159
To be fair,
it was two months and counting.
21
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,799
Turns out there's loads of Europe.
So, next item.
22
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,959
Mariette informs me that none
of the Larkin young are baptised.
23
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,959
Yeah, well, we never got round
to it. So do now, Ma.
24
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,639
Pop's lack of
conventional respectability
25
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,959
may have counted against him.
26
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,799
I'll tell Reverend Candy.
27
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,960
I'm sure he'd help us
put together a quick ceremony.
28
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:13,959
You look different somehow.
29
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,319
It's the glow
of couple-y contentment.
30
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,959
Pop and I looked like
we had a light on inside us.
31
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,959
Aw! Gotta dash to work.
32
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,959
It is so nice having you back.
33
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,960
It would've been sparse
at dinner!
34
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,959
Come on, you lot, out the way. Shoo!
35
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,800
She seemed very keen
to talk to that new reverend.
36
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,959
You haven't seen him yet.
37
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,959
Oh, and we're gonna need
expert help.
38
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,959
We stayed in London
with Angela Snow,
39
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,959
and her father
is an eminent retired lawyer.
40
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:42,959
Oh, good.
41
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,959
I didn't tell the little 'uns,
but...
42
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,959
if we don't clear Pop's name,
then that's trust gone,
43
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,959
and our livelihood
might not be far behind. Ma, no.
44
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,959
Ma, you need to focus on Pop.
45
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,959
We will keep them happy
so this doesn't ruin their summer.
46
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,959
Thanks.
47
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,959
And there's
the new swimming pool.
48
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,319
A swim won't make up
for Pop being locked up.
49
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,959
How do you think
he's doing in there?
50
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,959
Oh, you know Pop.
51
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,999
He'll have talked them
into letting him
52
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,959
go to the chippy every afternoon.
53
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,960
CELL DOOR CLOSES
54
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,959
I'm no fan of Great Britain, biggest
mistake of my life coming here,
55
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,959
but its judiciary is very reliable.
56
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,959
I'm so angry with you
at this moment.
57
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,959
Mr Larkin is a darling,
but we all make mistakes, don't we?
58
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,159
I do.
59
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,959
Say you do. I do.
60
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,959
On the contrary, it's
the biggest miscarriage of justice
61
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,959
since they bumped me
and gave the Pimpernel to Niven.
62
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,959
Anyone know what that means?
63
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:48,959
To not see Pop's astonishing face
out and about for a year...
64
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,959
You need to keep busy, Edith,
or get a job in the prison.
65
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,159
I can't be any busier,
but it's all so meaningless now.
66
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,959
And Pop pays for so much
in the village.
67
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,959
The Cheese Hoedown
has already been cancelled.
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,959
VICAR COUGHS
69
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,959
Where do you stand on Pop Larkin's
conviction, Vicar?
70
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,959
You know me, I never judge.
71
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,159
I hear your job is under threat
72
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,959
now the dynamic,
young Reverend Candy is here.
73
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,959
Well, that's a tissue of baloney.
74
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,959
CAR DOORS SLAM
EDITH: Is that them?
75
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,799
It ruddy is, isn't it?
Rise above, darling, rise above.
76
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,799
Villagers.
You deal with any bad losers,
77
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,639
I'll chat to the more normal ones.
78
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,959
No, no, no, you love a dust-up.
I'll, erm...
79
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,319
If I walk off in this direction...
Stop it. Be the man.
80
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,479
How dare you show yourself
in the village of Mr Larkin.
81
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,959
Talk to my husband.
82
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,959
Hello, ladies. What super tops!
Ooh, thank you!
83
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:46,640
Get back in the car and leave,
or I will unleash my ghastly wrath!
84
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,960
Bloody useless.
85
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,999
It was so much fun,
86
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,959
and Primrose was obsessed with
this handsome new Reverend Candy.
87
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:07,959
That seems to have gone away.
88
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,959
We slept in the open once. We were
attacked by owls. It was so great.
89
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,959
We've missed you.
90
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,959
We loved the postcard
of the dead volcano people.
91
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,959
I'm the man about the house
now Pop's gone,
92
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,959
but since you're back, Charley,
we'll take it in turns.
93
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,959
Yep, good system.
What's it like being married?
94
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,639
Is it true
love gets deeper and deeper?
95
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,959
Or does it get stale?
Like bread?
96
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,959
We girls have been crying
ourselves to sleep about Pop.
97
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,959
We don't know
what to do with ourselves.
98
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,639
Thanks, can we actually
just clear our heads?
99
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,959
But see you for some fun later?
100
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,960
All right! Thanks.
101
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,959
I love them,
but I'm exhausted already.
102
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,959
Yes, I forgot
how much they have to say.
103
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,960
So let's not tell them I'm pregnant.
Oh, agreed.
104
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,959
Oh, am I walking too fast?
105
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,959
No. Are you sure?
Do... Do you want a rest?
106
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,799
We've walked ten yards. I'm having
a baby, not a nervous breakdown.
107
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,960
Shh!
108
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,959
Thanks for letting me do this
at work.
109
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,959
Oh, no, it's not sentiment.
110
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,960
I sense a good story
if your dad's been nobbled.
111
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,959
PHONE LINE RINGS
112
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,639
Angela! Ma Larkin. How are ya?
113
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,959
I'm bodacious,
and how are you, Pop, and the tots?
114
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,479
Pop was sentenced
to a year in prison yesterday...
115
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,959
'so we need your help.'
Oh, my God, darling. What?
116
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,959
I know it is an outrage, but I hear
that your father is a legal person.
117
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,959
Yes, darling, a QC.
'What's that?'
118
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,639
Queen's Counsel.
119
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,959
What, he counsels the Queen?!
'Well...'
120
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,959
yes, sort of.
121
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,959
Oh, what's she like?
122
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,959
Tell me when you come down to us
at the farm.
123
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,639
You and your dad must stay.
124
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,959
We will be there.
Father's very wise.
125
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,959
Thank the Lord,
cos we need a bit of that.
126
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:00,959
Though rather ancient.
127
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,959
Got to dash, Angela.
Come as soon as you can.
128
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,959
Plenty of beds here!
129
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,959
I was wondering
if you have business information
130
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,959
on a Mr Cuthbert Jerebohm,
who is listed...
131
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,959
Do you have any record
of any police cautions, convictions,
132
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,959
or bankruptcy orders
in the name Jerebohm -
133
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,959
Phyllis or Cuthbert?
134
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,959
Shouldn't you be checking
the proofs?
135
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,480
No, no. This is more interesting.
Yeah, uh-huh.
136
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,959
Oh, what a scumbag!
137
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,960
BUZZER BLARES
138
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,639
They told me I can't give you a hug.
I know.
139
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,959
And I brought you some food, but
they say I've gotta take it home.
140
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,999
I can do without the trimmings, Ma.
141
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,479
It's you and the kids I miss...
142
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,959
and the air and the light.
143
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,959
They all send their love, and
Mariette and Charley rushed home.
144
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,960
Ah, Lord love 'em.
145
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:10,960
MA SIGHS
146
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960
Come on, Stu.
147
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,960
POP CHUCKLES,
MA SIGHS
148
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:23,800
So, how is it?
149
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,960
Well, it's a prison, innit?
150
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,959
I'm betting
it's like any community, you know?
151
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,959
You gotta suss it out,
treat folk nice,
152
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,959
and make it work for YOU, Ma.
153
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,959
And they've got a workshop,
so I'm making new friends.
154
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:39,960
POP CHUCKLES
155
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,959
Well, don't get too used to it...
156
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,480
POP CHUCKLES
..cos we are gonna get you out.
157
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,160
Just gimme a couple of days.
Of course.
158
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,799
What you got?
159
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,959
Jerebohm is a double-bankrupt
with a conviction for fraud,
160
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,959
so he lied about the unblemished
social and financial standing.
161
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,959
Pinkie Jerebohm was married before.
162
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,159
Her husband filed for divorce
on the grounds of cruelty. Wow.
163
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,959
Yeah.
164
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,959
At the time, she was a member
of the burlesque dance troupe
165
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,959
Folie The Bear, based in Dagenham.
166
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,959
I like the sound of her.
No, you don't! Is that enough?
167
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,959
Well, maybe not,
but it's a good start.
168
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,959
Some of these old magistrates,
they can be just sweet-talked,
169
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,479
but yours isn't one of 'em.
170
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,639
Ma can be quite persuasive,
as you know.
171
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,960
HE CHUCKLES
172
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,960
Your gentleman caller is back.
173
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,960
Erm, hello.
174
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,960
Hello.
175
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,960
Feel free to chat in my office.
No, no, we... we have a routine.
176
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,959
So, how can we fix this?
177
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,959
You stop treating the two of us
like a guilty secret.
178
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,959
It's only
until I'm known in the parish.
179
00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,959
Now my pop's in prison,
180
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,960
I must be even more embarrassing
to be associated with.
181
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,959
So let's keep it businesslike.
182
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,959
Will you please christen me
and my six siblings?
183
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,959
None of you are baptised?
184
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,319
Pop and Ma think being good people
is the same as being baptised.
185
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,959
That's... not a conventional reading
of the Anglican rules.
186
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,959
They aren't conventional parents,
187
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,959
otherwise Pop
wouldn't be in a prison cell,
188
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,960
and Ma wouldn't have
a varnished snail shell collection.
189
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,320
I would love to baptise you all.
190
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:28,960
Thank you.
191
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,999
DOOR SLAMS
Afternoon.
192
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,959
I need you to pull strings
and get Pop a TV in his cell
193
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,639
cos he loves telly, and he's
not so good on the book reading,
194
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,479
though he's making
some nifty arts and crafts.
195
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,959
I don't think I have the power
to install a television
196
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,959
in Her Majesty's...
197
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,959
Well, Constable,
you had the power to arrest Pop
198
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,959
and get this whole mess started,
so I expect amends to be made.
199
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:54,959
Mrs Larkin,
I hope I've made it clear
200
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,959
how bad I feel about Pop and...
201
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,959
Oh, you did, gorgeous...
202
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,959
but bad feelings
don't butter no parsnips.
203
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,959
Nice to be back with Pauline?
204
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,959
Yeah. Yeah.
Although she's still angry with me.
205
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,960
In fact, she's withholding...
206
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,999
..certain things till Pop gets out.
207
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,959
What things?
208
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,959
Oh, well, you know,
the physical, erm...
209
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:17,959
Don't make me say it.
210
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,959
Oh. Good for Pauline. Sure it's not
just that she doesn't fancy it?
211
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:26,319
Oh, erm... no.
No, I... I think she fancies it.
212
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,959
I mean,
she makes all the right, er...
213
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:30,960
noises.
214
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,799
Well, believe me,
215
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,959
we are full steam ahead
to get this verdict overturned.
216
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,959
It doesn't need to be a big telly,
217
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,160
and a wireless
would be nice an' all.
218
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,959
You'll be all right.
The time'll fly by.
219
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,960
No... I think it'll be interminable.
220
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,960
You occupy a special place
in the village, Mr Larkin.
221
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,640
And in my heart.
Oh, Edith...
222
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,959
Oh, we had an accident
earlier today in the prison laundry.
223
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,959
Starch got sprayed everywhere.
224
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,959
The guards are looking
for hardened criminals.
225
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:06,960
HE LAUGHS
226
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,959
I just feel so helpless and trapped.
227
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,959
SHE SOBS
228
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:14,960
Oh...
229
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,639
KNOCK ON DOOR
Hmm.
230
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,159
Good morning. You may remember me.
231
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,959
You convicted my husband
Sidney Larkin a day or two ago.
232
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:35,959
Yes, I did.
233
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,959
Well, we'd love you
to reconsider your decision
234
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,959
and agree to our appeal,
so we can see justice restored.
235
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,000
All due respect.
236
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,959
My husband's accusers
237
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,959
have a history of criminality and
moral turpitude as long as your arm.
238
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,960
It's all in there.
239
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,959
Hello, Reverend.
Alec and Norma Norman.
240
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,959
Yes.
We are regular church-goers,
241
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,959
but prefer to attend in Pye Merkin,
242
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,959
which offers
an elevated social stratum.
243
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,959
Not that God judges us like that
of co...
244
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,959
There are no Larkins there,
for example.
245
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,959
I find them delightful.
246
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,959
Then you'll know that Mr Larkin
is in prison,
247
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,959
and his appeal has failed.
248
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,959
Yes, the vicar told me.
He feasts on bad news.
249
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,959
Clearly Larkin's
so-called generosity
250
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,480
was financed by him nicking stuff.
251
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,959
Thank you for giving me
the subject of my sermon this week.
252
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,959
Thievery?
253
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,959
Rev, can you come and explain to
my boy that he's not going to Hell.
254
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,960
He can't sleep nights.
Ah, I'm actually on my way to...
255
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,959
HE SIGHS
256
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,960
Yes, of course.
257
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,959
Darling Ma.
258
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:41,959
Angela,
thank you so much for coming.
259
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,639
Well, of course,
this is an outrage!
260
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,959
Someone's pants are hugely on fire
and they must be avenged.
261
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:52,639
I cannot believe that the magistrate
would not accept our appeal.
262
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,639
For once, I'm wondering
if I'm up to the task.
263
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,959
Well, you're not a lawyer,
264
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,960
but my father is,
and there's nothing he can't do.
265
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,640
Evening!
Afternoon.
266
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,960
Afternoon, my mistake. Easily done.
267
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,959
Welcome to Larkin Farm,
your Royal Honour.
268
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,960
Oh, I say. How kind of you.
269
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:36,959
Yes?
270
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,959
Hello, Vicar.
I need to speak to Reverend Candy.
271
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:40,999
Why? He's not here.
272
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:46,160
Um, he's baptising some Larkins, and
I need to give him our full names.
273
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960
I'll take them. In!
274
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,960
It's very much a room of two halves,
isn't it?
275
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,959
Mm.
276
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,959
You'd have to ask my junior
277
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,959
why he's vacuumed and tidied
only his side.
278
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,959
Well, I imagine Reverend Candy
would say he realised
279
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,639
he was doing all the work,
so he needed to dig his heels in.
280
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,960
You're very well informed.
281
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,959
Well, when he isn't
digging his heels in,
282
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:19,959
he's very special, isn't he?
283
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,959
He's boosted church attendance,
and he looks lovely, and...
284
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,999
Yeah, I'm tired of hearing
how special he is.
285
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,960
Oh. Well, I'll shut up, then.
286
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,959
Are these names a joke?
287
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,479
Sadly, no.
288
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,799
Well, I'm still the vicar here,
despite the rev's obvious ambition,
289
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,959
so if anyone's gonna do it,
it'll be me.
290
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,959
But... he offered first.
291
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,959
He's too busy.
292
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,959
And if you or any other Larkin
want to set foot in church again
293
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,959
or get married here,
you'll be sprinkled by me,
294
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,960
Vicar-in-Chief.
295
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,319
Well, it seems Reverend Candy has
been detained by his huge workload,
296
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,960
so I'll say goodbye.
297
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960
See you at your christening.
298
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,960
Hey! Come on. Let's have some fun!
299
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,959
There's more important
and serious things going on.
300
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,959
All the more reason
to have some fun!
301
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,639
Like, er... er...
Like the belly flop contest!
302
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,959
Loudest smack wins!
Not in the mood.
303
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,960
Come on,
Ma told me to cheer you all up.
304
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,960
Right. Come on.
305
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,960
OK.
306
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,960
I actually wouldn't recommend that.
307
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,959
Mum, Charley and Prim
are getting more evidence together.
308
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,000
Then they'll try again
on the appeal.
309
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,159
Oh, Pop, it's fabulous to see you
again, even in a prison uniform.
310
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,960
You too, darlin'. Yeah. So, come on,
tell me something cheerful.
311
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,959
I will, as you're stuck in here,
312
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,960
but you have to promise
not to tell anyone, even Ma.
313
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:09,959
I can tell Stu, though, right?
314
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,320
We've got no secrets, have we, Stu?
Nah.
315
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,959
I'm pregnant.
You're gonna be a granddad.
316
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,799
Oh, Mariette,
that makes me so happy.
317
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:20,959
And that makes me happy.
318
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,959
Me and Ma were saying, "What's
taking you and Charley so long?"
319
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,319
We've been together a year.
320
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,959
Exactly, you should've knocked out
a coupla twins by now.
321
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Pop!
322
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:36,960
ORGAN PLAYS
323
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,799
Remember,
promise not to tell the family.
324
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,959
Not till we get you out at least.
325
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,999
Of course. My lips are seals.
326
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,960
Thanks, Pop.
327
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,959
Ain't she lovely? It's my oldest.
She's pregnant, you know?
328
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,959
MEN: Great! Congratulations!
Well done!
329
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,960
Let's go out and celebrate!
THEY LAUGH
330
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,959
Hello, dear.
How much is a big whisky?
331
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,959
Three bob.
Are you sure, Miss Pilchester?
332
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,960
Never seen you take alcohol.
Just line her up, please.
333
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,959
Did you see the show-jumping
on telly last night?
334
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,480
No, I... don't have a machine.
335
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,799
Upset about Pop?
336
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,959
Yes, I am. I'd like another, please.
337
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:13,960
Then I'll go home to my spinster's
home and my spinster's life.
338
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,000
How many drinks
do I need to get drunk?
339
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,959
Depends. Some old lush told me there
are seven stages of intoxication.
340
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,960
Oh, and what number am I?
341
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,000
Two and a half.
342
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,999
I've been known to go past stage
four. You don't wanna do that.
343
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,479
No, of course not. Why not?
344
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,319
Cos to give you some idea,
six is coma and seven is death.
345
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,960
Right. Thank you.
346
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,959
PIANO PLAYS
347
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:53,959
# Cold blows the wind
O'er my true love
348
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,959
# Cold blows the drops of rain... #
349
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,959
Come on, Pauline.
350
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,959
# I never had but one true love
351
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,959
# In the greenwood, he was slain
352
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:12,959
# I'll do as much for my true love
353
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,959
# As any young girl may. #
354
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,959
Edith, we'll take you home.
355
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,799
Hey, I bought your crow a gin, you
said he'd recite the Lord's Prayer.
356
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,000
Yeah, well, this has never happened
before. I'd better drink it.
357
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,960
SHE SCOFFS
358
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,959
Evening.
359
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,799
Any chance I could arrest you
for being pretty after your shift?
360
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,959
Thanks, but I've got
another job for you.
361
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,320
Oh, what's that?
362
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960
Taking Miss Pilchester home.
363
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,959
Ah... I'd love to,
but it's not Thursday,
364
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,639
so I haven't got use
of the police vehicle.
365
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,960
And?
366
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,960
Please, look,
watch me do Charley's trick.
367
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,000
SHE SIGHS
368
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,959
So, the Jerebohms are as fake
as a dog with nine legs.
369
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,959
But the magistrate, Major Sprague,
370
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:20,959
says we can only
challenge on the facts.
371
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:25,479
Well, the case that you've outlined
seems riddled with inconsistencies.
372
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,959
Don't you agree, Daddy?
373
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,959
What? Oh, yes, yes, I do.
374
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,959
Becau... Well, yes, erm...
375
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,959
These days he takes a while
to warm up.
376
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,959
The Queen's worn him out!
377
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,959
Ah, yes, erm...
378
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,799
Who was present at the planning
of this fraud and break-in?
379
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:47,959
Hmm? Ah?
380
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,159
And do you think
they could they be persuaded
381
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,959
to do the decent thing?
382
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,959
Only Mr and Mrs Jerebohms
and Alec Norman were there.
383
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,959
Ah...
384
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,959
Oh.
385
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,959
I had to tell Pop.
386
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,959
I felt so sorry for him,
dressed like a criminal.
387
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,959
If anyone can make use
of his time inside, it's your dad.
388
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,959
God, if he did ten years,
he'd leave as Prison Governor.
389
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,959
Mm. He's smooth-talked himself
a job in the kitchen.
390
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,960
You see! What a...
391
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,479
Is that a rattlesnake?
392
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,319
Rattlesnakes in Kent?!
You're still such a townie.
393
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,959
Oh, I'm sorry... Can you check an
income tax form in under a minute?
394
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,960
Cos I can.
Ooh, you sexy beast!
395
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,960
Oh, evening, Constable.
Evening.
396
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,959
What you watching, square-eyes?
Dunno.
397
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,959
Just to warn you,
in case you see the vicar,
398
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:45,959
he wants to baptise us all.
399
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,959
We want the young, handsome one.
400
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,959
Well, the old gnarled one
says he's doing it
401
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,960
or none of us
can ever get married in his church.
402
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,959
Then we have to go ahead.
403
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,959
Me and Petunia
have already planned our weddings.
404
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,159
I'm having real unicorns in church.
405
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,959
You can order them
from South America.
406
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,959
Oh!
I don't wanna do it no more.
407
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:03,999
As the man about the house now,
408
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,959
I need to remind you
why we're doing this:
409
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,959
to make people think
we're respectable.
410
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,959
Oh, we are respectable,
411
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,999
but you know what,
it might be a healthy diversion.
412
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,319
And an excuse for new frocks.
413
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,959
I'll wear one of Dad's suits.
414
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,959
CHOKED: Mm...
415
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,159
Stop it now!
Who wants hot chocolate?
416
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:26,959
# All things bright and beautiful
417
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,319
# The Lord God made them all. #
418
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,960
Thank you, that was, erm...
Thank you.
419
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,959
Once in a golden hour
I cast to earth a seed
420
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,959
Up there came a flower
421
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,160
The people said, a weed.
422
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,959
Tennyson.
423
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,959
In other words,
today's sermon is about judgement.
424
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:56,960
ORGAN SOUNDS
Sorry!
425
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,959
Why do we love to condemn,
426
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,999
and see guilt or fault
where there is none?
427
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:09,959
Why does kindness
so often come second to blame?
428
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,959
No, don't just accept it!
429
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,959
Let's work hard
to love each other more!
430
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,959
And to share that love,
431
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,799
because how else
will we make the world
432
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,960
a better and more beautiful place?
433
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:27,960
Who do you all love?
434
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,960
I love Primrose Larkin.
435
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,960
DOOR OPENS
436
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,959
I've never seen any of these people
before in my life!
437
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,959
THEY LAUGH
Oh, come on. Welcome back, Charley.
438
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,479
This is gonna take a while,
innit, hey?
439
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,959
You all right, darling? That's it.
Thank you, Victoria.
440
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,959
And first thing you've all gotta do
is stop with the tragic faces
441
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,959
cos me telly's arrived,
you brilliant woman.
442
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,959
THEY LAUGH
Oh, mwah!
443
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,319
Hey, and guess what,
444
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:35,959
I've been working
in the kitchen now.
445
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,959
Turns out you can have
a lot of fun cooking.
446
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,959
You should try it, Ma.
THEY LAUGH
447
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,960
Hey, hey, hey. Stu, come on.
448
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,959
There you go.
Watch, watch, watch, watch!
449
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,959
Get ready!
THEY GASP
450
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,799
Wow! Oh!
Ta-da!
451
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,959
Oh, my Lord.
Hey!
452
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,959
That is a work of art.
453
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,959
Thank you. Monty get a photo, son.
That's it.
454
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,959
Now then, newlyweds,
have you got something to tell me?
455
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,959
We... don't know what you mean.
456
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,959
About your Europe.
Just been round it, ain't you, eh?
457
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:07,959
I'm not seeing much of it in here.
458
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,959
We promise, Pop, you'll hear
every detail as soon as you get out.
459
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:11,959
Good.
460
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,959
On that subject, your escape
committee are making progress
461
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,799
with the assistance
of Angela Snow's dad, who's a QC -
462
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,959
that stands for
Counsel to the Queen.
463
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,319
Special lady. I love a queen.
464
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,799
Ma, we know.
We know you love a queen.
465
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,959
Yeah, thank you.
466
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,639
And you can all imagine
how much you mean to me.
467
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,959
So...
468
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,960
what about this baby?
469
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,799
Come on, Oscar.
470
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,639
Hey, are you gonna come
and give us a song?
471
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,959
Hey, give us a chorus
of Jailhouse Rock?
472
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,959
Look at that, Oscar.
Oh, that looks lovely.
473
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,960
Don't have too much fun.
This is a prison, you know!
474
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,639
But Pop seemed all right, though,
didn't he, Ma... considering?
475
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,959
I was just thinking about him
missing your christenings.
476
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,959
He's not churchy, though, is he?
He says he worships women.
477
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,959
He's not one for ceremonies, either,
otherwise you'd be married.
478
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,959
We've been too busy raising you lot.
479
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,959
We'll record it.
What?
480
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,959
On one of those
little cine film cameras.
481
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:11,959
And Pop can watch it
when he gets out.
482
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,959
I don't understand
modern technology.
483
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,959
Hold on, did we leave Oscar in jail?
484
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,960
No, I've got him.
Ah.
485
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,959
Come on.
"Did we leave him...?" God!
486
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,960
Can you imagine?!
487
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,960
Ah, hello, darling.
488
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,959
Why are you doing that face?
Hmm?
489
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,959
Oh, I'm rehearsing
my forthcoming role
490
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,159
of a man who looks wistfully back
at his life.
491
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,800
Ah.
492
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,959
I had a lady sat here earlier,
493
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,959
who mentioned
a spectacular sermon yesterday
494
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,959
by the new reverend.
495
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,959
Yes, I've been told
by 18,000 people (!)
496
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:02,960
He's very dynamic.
497
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,479
It seems like
you're the old tortoise,
498
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,160
and he's the hare, yet, in fact,
he keeps winning the race.
499
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,959
RIGHT!
That was quite a reaction. Bit much?
500
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,959
I've given my life to this parish.
Yes, I'm a bit tired now.
501
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,959
No, I don't go in for showy displays
of religiosity,
502
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,959
but I am still a massively important
spiritual leader!
503
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,959
And I will prove it.
504
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,960
Yes, that's much better.
Yes, lots of vim.
505
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,959
You really miss your Pop, don't ya?
506
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,959
AS POP: All right, darlin'?
Perfick.
507
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,960
SHE CHUCKLES
508
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,479
Miss Pilchester! What a pleasure.
509
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,959
It's all mine, Mrs Larkin.
510
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,959
I just wanted to say
how absolutely ghastly
511
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,959
it must be without your husband.
512
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,959
TEARFULLY: Yeah... Yeah, it is.
513
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,959
And I'm going to be honest with you,
514
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,959
inspired in part by Reverend Candy's
declaration of love for Primrose.
515
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,639
Oh, there was so much rejoicing
in the Larkin household about that.
516
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,800
Well, if I may...
517
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:15,959
..I love your husband.
518
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,959
Oh, we all love Pop...
No.
519
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,959
No, really love him.
A frightening amount.
520
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,959
MA SCOFFS
I can never have him
521
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,319
because you are
the most glorious, loving couple,
522
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,959
but I just wanted to lay my love out
in the open
523
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,799
like a huge,
slightly embarrassing pumpkin
524
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:31,959
and never mention it again.
525
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,959
Oh, Edith.
526
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,959
It also explains
my recent drunken escapade.
527
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,960
There's...
There's no need to explain.
528
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,959
Love Pop as much as you like.
529
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,960
He's got a lot of time
for you as well.
530
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Tea for two in the garden, please?!
531
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,960
But you're so hard on yourself.
532
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:55,959
Look at you.
533
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,959
You're beautiful...
Have to stop you there.
534
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,960
You are!
Sorry.
535
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,960
You're passionate
and energetic and kind.
536
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,960
But you're not kind to yourself.
537
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,960
Love yourself more, Edith.
538
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:15,959
I'll try.
539
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,960
In the meantime, can I do anything
to help bring Pop home?
540
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,959
Well, we're trying
to think of someone
541
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,959
who'd come over to our side
with evidence.
542
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,159
Funny you should say that.
543
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,639
Looking at the Jerebohms' chauffeur,
I sensed he was thinking,
544
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:31,959
"Why am I working
for this absolute bitch?"
545
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,959
Yes, I'm saying things out loud
these days
546
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:35,999
which are meant just for my head.
547
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,959
Do be careful about that,
but... the chauffeur.
548
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,320
That's a good thought.
549
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:45,959
Hello, dears!
550
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,319
Oh, thanks, poppets!
SHE CHUCKLES
551
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,959
Why don't you get Mariette
to sweet-talk him?
552
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,959
What's his name?
Berndt.
553
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,960
Burnt?
He's Austrian.
554
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,959
Hello, Vicar!
555
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,959
Come and join the party.
What brings you here?
556
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,960
Another cup and the big cake!
557
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,959
And a cold flannel!
558
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:13,959
I hear that the Reverend Candy
has been stealing your thunder.
559
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,959
To be honest, we're all wondering
why you're still here, Vicar.
560
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,959
Sorry. That...
That escaped from my head.
561
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,959
BREATHLESSLY:
And that's exactly why I'm here.
562
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,640
HE PANTS HEAVILY
563
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:27,960
Ah!
564
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,479
I'm organising a mass christening
for your kids
565
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,959
and anyone else who's been too much
of a heathen to get around to it.
566
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:37,959
We're not heathens.
567
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,959
We just reckon that God'll take us
as He finds us.
568
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,799
It doesn't work like that.
569
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,959
It really doesn't.
I've read the big book.
570
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,959
All right. Go on, then.
571
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,959
Allow plenty of time
cos they've got a few middle names.
572
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,959
I know.
573
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,959
And I'm gonna steal
my thunder back from Candy,
574
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,959
so I'm here to say
575
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,480
I'll be using your new swimming pool
for the baptism.
576
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,320
All right!
THEY CHUCKLE
577
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,959
What do I do
if the horrible family come back?
578
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:16,959
They won't.
579
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,959
He dropped Mr Jerebohm off
at the station
580
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,959
and Mrs and their weird children
at the golf course.
581
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,960
OK, right, well, off I go, then.
How do I look?
582
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,959
Charley?
Huh?
583
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,959
Sorry. Um, yeah, looking good.
584
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,320
Mm-hm?
Too good.
585
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,960
I need to look seductive.
586
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,000
Hey.
587
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,959
Really?
SHE CHUCKLES
588
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,959
Berndt is such a nice name,
really pretty.
589
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,959
Where did you get it from?
Oh, it's the usual. From my papi.
590
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:55,959
From your puppy?
591
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,479
My daddy, my papi.
Of course.
592
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,959
I love my dad so much.
593
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,320
That's why I'm heartbroken.
I can't believe he'd steal.
594
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:05,959
No.
595
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,160
So... tell me he didn't do it.
Just for my own peace of mind.
596
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,959
Your papi didn't do it.
597
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,959
Thank you. So that means
your employers must be evil.
598
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,959
They are... totally!
So why are you working for them?
599
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,959
They have... information about me
which is very bad.
600
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,959
I can't tell you how bad it is.
It's... so bad.
601
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,959
So they've put my innocent Pop
in jail,
602
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,959
and they're blackmailing you?
603
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,959
Any other terrible things?
Yeah, there are other things.
604
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,959
You need to say this
to the magistrate... to help us.
605
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:37,960
I cannot.
606
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,999
TEARFULLY: Imagine how you'd feel...
if your dad was in prison, and...
607
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,960
SHE CRIES
Oh!
608
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,960
I'm sorry. I'm pregnant.
609
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,959
I found a big potato in my handbag
this morning.
610
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,959
I must have put it there.
611
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:56,959
Hormones.
612
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,959
Anyway...
SHE SNIFFLES
613
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,959
The safe was ordered and delivered
just before your daddy was caught.
614
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,159
SHE GASPS IN RELIEF
I have the wrapping.
615
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,479
A coincidence? No.
616
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,479
SHE LAUGHS TEARFULLY
Thank you!
617
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:11,159
Other things...
would you like a hankie?
618
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,960
Yes, please!
619
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,320
Fraulein.
620
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,000
SHE BLOWS HER NOSE
621
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,959
It couldn't be clearer than
the nose on your face, could it?
622
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,959
Massive nose!
623
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:24,959
We're not saying your nose
is massive.
624
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,959
This evidence is in conjunction
with the papers already presented,
625
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,959
duplicated in file D
before you there,
626
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,999
of the Jerebohms' history
of moral and financial impropriety.
627
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,959
I need more time
to consider my response, er...
628
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,960
so we will reconvene
on Monday morning.
629
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,959
I just feel that it's not
a very good idea any more.
630
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,959
The Larkins are very tenacious.
631
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,959
'You had your pound of flesh,
and I should release him.'
632
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,959
Well, if you're planning to do that,
and that's fine...
633
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:56,959
Thank you.
634
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,959
'I shall come round,
punch your stupid face a bit'
635
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,959
then reveal you're a corrupt judge
636
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,960
and your whole life's work
has been a sham.
637
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,960
LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC,
INDISTINCT CHATTER
638
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,799
I can't swim, Vicar, so we'll
have to do it in the shallow end.
639
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,959
Yeah, and can we not splash my hair?
I've had it done special.
640
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,960
Oh, shut up.
641
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,960
INDISTINCT CHATTER,
ROWDY LAUGHTER
642
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,959
Was this a good idea?
Yeah.
643
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,959
Distraction, eternal salvation
and a pool party,
644
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,799
what could be better?
645
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,960
Aw, look at the cherubs.
646
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,480
Here, Ma, have some Champagne.
647
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,959
It's like theatre,
religion, isn't it?
648
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,959
Ritualistic and heady,
with some lovely costuming.
649
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,959
You compare everything
to showbusiness.
650
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:11,959
You do, shopping, lawn-mowing,
a fish tank is like a stage.
651
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,799
A good comedy is like a tomato.
652
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,959
Oh, by the way,
do you know a good violin teacher?
653
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,959
I've assured the producer
I can play,
654
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,959
and I've only got until Thursday
to learn.
655
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:22,960
But as I say, the fiery hair's
just a bonus, really.
656
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,959
Do you know what
I love about her especially?
657
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,479
It's a combination of...
658
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,960
Excuse me, I need to hand the vicar
his paraphernalia.
659
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,959
You've been banging on
about Primrose for half an hour,
660
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,320
well, I'm a reasonably
interesting woman, too.
661
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,959
Hey.
Hey.
662
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,799
You're not boozing -
are you pregnant?
663
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,959
If only!
Silly boy!
664
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,960
Can you imagine? Come on,
we need to go and get ready.
665
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:05,960
Right, come on, come on,
let's have some hush.
666
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,959
A baptism is a solemn sacrament
667
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,959
to be approached with due reverence.
668
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,959
So I don't want to see
any farting around
669
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,959
or whingeing about getting splashed.
670
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,960
Ah, now, how am I going to do this?
671
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,960
Why don't you all get in the water
and we'll go from there?
672
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,960
SPLASHING,
BABY CRIES
673
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,960
It reminds me of the D-day landings.
674
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,959
I'm itching to go on.
Maybe I can borrow some trunks.
675
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,959
I'm gonna take
the godparents' section as read
676
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,480
otherwise we'll be here
all bloody day.
677
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,960
Right.
678
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,960
Actually,
I now feel rather stupid.
679
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,960
Well, I know you,
I'll start with you.
680
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,959
"I baptise you,
681
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,000
"Primrose Violet Anemone Iris..."
SIGHS
682
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,959
"..Magnolia Narcissus Larkin."
683
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,960
GEESE HONK
AND FLUTTER
684
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,000
I hate geese!
685
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,960
Quick. Someone help her!
686
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,960
LAUGHTER
687
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,960
Oh, it's always about him,
isn't it?
688
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,959
GUARD: Well done!
MAN: Good on ya', Ma!
689
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,959
Congratulations, Mrs Larkin.
690
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,960
LOW CHATTER
691
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,960
All right, darlin'?
I suppose.
692
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,319
I've, er...
had a problem with a souffle.
693
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,959
Did you open the oven door
in the middle to take a look?
694
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,639
I know what you're like.
695
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,159
Oh, I did, yeah, oh, yeah.
696
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,959
Could've been opening the oven door,
Stu, yeah, could've been that.
697
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,639
It's all looking good
for your release,
698
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,159
so I hope this is the last time
we're gonna have to meet here.
699
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,959
Well, I'm putting a brave
face on it, Ma, that's for sure.
700
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:33,000
I've made some friends in here,
but I wanna come home, Ma.
701
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,479
How was the christening?
702
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,959
Safe to say, for a religious service
it lacked a bit of "gravit-arse".
703
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:41,959
Sounds good. Wish I was there.
704
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,960
We thought of that.
705
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,640
Ah!
706
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,959
Congratulations.
707
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,799
All right, what's going on?
708
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,960
For your and Pop's
future grandchild.
709
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,959
TOY RATTLES
710
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,959
See, Mariette and Charley,
they didn't want any fuss, Ma,
711
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,479
and so I promised them, but...
712
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,960
I'm no good at keeping secrets.
713
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,959
I know it's not as much of
a holiday camp as you lot make out,
714
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,319
but thanks for looking after him.
715
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,960
I just need to know why is it
Pop was told, and I wasn't?
716
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,959
Ma, just don't tell the others.
717
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,959
Mariette and Charley don't want
any fuss till they're ready.
718
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,800
Course I won't.
719
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,959
They're gonna have a baby!
720
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,639
We're gonna be aunties!
I'm Aunty Zinnia!
721
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:45,959
Another christening!
722
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,320
No, absolutely not!
We'll arrange this one...
723
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:50,960
Hello, Ma!
724
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,959
JOYFUL LAUGHTER
725
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:01,799
And I regard unattributed innuendo,
masquerading as evidence,
726
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:02,959
to be a very shaky basis
727
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,959
for overturning
a well-considered judgement.
728
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,799
Are you out of your tiny?
729
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,319
No, and the verdict stands.
730
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:12,959
Well, we're not giving up.
731
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:13,999
I work for a newspaper,
732
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,959
and we will make sure everyone knows
about this abuse of power.
733
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,479
I'd advise that you didn't.
734
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,319
Any attempt to raise the matter
or appeal again,
735
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:26,960
and I'll be minded
to double Sidney Larkin's sentence.
736
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,960
What...?!
737
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,959
So he has been
well and truly done like a kipper,
738
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,479
as Pop would no doubt describe it.
739
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,639
Right. You have to say,
they got jolly close.
740
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,959
Pinkie will be breathing
a sigh of relief
741
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,959
out of her pair of pretty lungs.
742
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:45,959
Yes.
743
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,959
Obviously, there's a slight
disappointment that Major Sprague
744
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,959
didn't actually bump Larkin's
sentence up to two years, but...
745
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,959
Stop now.
746
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,160
Something wrong?
747
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,959
Do you need a drink
at three o'clock in the afternoon?
748
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,959
Yes, I do,
749
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,959
because I appear to be married to
a man without a shred of conscience.
750
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,959
The Larkins are an irritant,
but they've never been evil.
751
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,959
Is there a difference? Really?
752
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,959
You cooked up this plan
with the Jerebohms.
753
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,959
Well, I was more of a consultant.
754
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,960
And I let it happen because frankly
I never thought it would work...
755
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:22,959
..but Pop is in prison.
756
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,960
Doesn't that
make you feel uncomfortable?
757
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,959
Do you know what this is?
758
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,799
Once again,
it's decent working people
759
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,959
being beaten down by
the powers of class and privilege.
760
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,159
Well, perhaps, but...
761
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:59,959
And, Angela,
in the nicest possible way,
762
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,479
you and your father
have been a fat lot of good.
763
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,959
It's a fair point.
764
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,959
Look, it's not over yet, Ma.
765
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,960
But it is, isn't it?
766
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,960
We've been living on hope,
and it's run out.
767
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,960
And it's me that's gotta go
and tell that to Pop tomorrow.
768
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:20,959
That's if I haven't been round
769
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,959
to the Jerebohms and the Normans
tonight, shot 'em all
770
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,959
and got myself arrested.
771
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,960
KNOCK AT DOOR
772
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,959
Hello, Mrs Larkin.
773
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,959
What do you want?
774
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,639
I've heard the latest
about your husband
775
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,959
and... I'm uncomfortable.
776
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,960
Uncomfortable?
777
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,799
Well, we are rather worse than that.
778
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,319
Yes, yes, you must be.
779
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,959
So unless you have your husband's
sawn-off head in your bag
780
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:03,479
to show me, or the solution
to our problems, I'd go home.
781
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:04,960
I-I, well...
782
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,960
..I do have some information.
783
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,960
Sorry, I had a sherry earlier,
and it's, er...
784
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,480
..it's just catching up with me.
785
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:28,960
There are things going on
which you should know about.
786
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,960
THEY LAUGH
787
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,800
THEY LAUGH
788
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,640
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