All language subtitles for The.Larkins.2021.S02E05.1080p.STV.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264[eztv.re]_Subtitles03

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,960 BIRDS CHIRP 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,960 It feels weird, Pop not being here. 3 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,959 The twins said that since the verdict, 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,959 Joy Spokes is avoiding them. 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,959 Well, she's shy at the best of times is Joy. 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,959 And little Dennis Lottle told 'em we'd lose our farm. 7 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,959 Hmm. People can be cruel. Especially the Lottles. 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:22,959 How can anyone think he's a criminal? 9 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,959 Well, the few that do will look stupid when we prove he's not. 10 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,479 Exactly, so we need to gather 11 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,959 evidence of errors in the prosecution, 12 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,959 and appeal to the magistrate. 13 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:32,959 Who are these evil neighbours? 14 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,959 Well, we realised we don't know much about them, so I'm investigating. 15 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,959 Good. So, these are avenues to explore 16 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,959 to investigate financial impropriety. 17 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,960 At last, your legendary skills as a taxman are coming in handy. 18 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,959 I'm still furious with you for not telling us about Pop's case. 19 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,959 And interrupt your honeymoon? 20 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,159 To be fair, it was two months and counting. 21 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,799 Turns out there's loads of Europe. So, next item. 22 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,959 Mariette informs me that none of the Larkin young are baptised. 23 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,959 Yeah, well, we never got round to it. So do now, Ma. 24 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,639 Pop's lack of conventional respectability 25 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,959 may have counted against him. 26 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,799 I'll tell Reverend Candy. 27 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,960 I'm sure he'd help us put together a quick ceremony. 28 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:13,959 You look different somehow. 29 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,319 It's the glow of couple-y contentment. 30 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,959 Pop and I looked like we had a light on inside us. 31 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,959 Aw! Gotta dash to work. 32 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,959 It is so nice having you back. 33 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,960 It would've been sparse at dinner! 34 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,959 Come on, you lot, out the way. Shoo! 35 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,800 She seemed very keen to talk to that new reverend. 36 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,959 You haven't seen him yet. 37 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,959 Oh, and we're gonna need expert help. 38 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,959 We stayed in London with Angela Snow, 39 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,959 and her father is an eminent retired lawyer. 40 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:42,959 Oh, good. 41 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,959 I didn't tell the little 'uns, but... 42 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,959 if we don't clear Pop's name, then that's trust gone, 43 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,959 and our livelihood might not be far behind. Ma, no. 44 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,959 Ma, you need to focus on Pop. 45 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,959 We will keep them happy so this doesn't ruin their summer. 46 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,959 Thanks. 47 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,959 And there's the new swimming pool. 48 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,319 A swim won't make up for Pop being locked up. 49 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,959 How do you think he's doing in there? 50 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,959 Oh, you know Pop. 51 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,999 He'll have talked them into letting him 52 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,959 go to the chippy every afternoon. 53 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,960 CELL DOOR CLOSES 54 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,959 I'm no fan of Great Britain, biggest mistake of my life coming here, 55 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,959 but its judiciary is very reliable. 56 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,959 I'm so angry with you at this moment. 57 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,959 Mr Larkin is a darling, but we all make mistakes, don't we? 58 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,159 I do. 59 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,959 Say you do. I do. 60 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,959 On the contrary, it's the biggest miscarriage of justice 61 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,959 since they bumped me and gave the Pimpernel to Niven. 62 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,959 Anyone know what that means? 63 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:48,959 To not see Pop's astonishing face out and about for a year... 64 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,959 You need to keep busy, Edith, or get a job in the prison. 65 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,159 I can't be any busier, but it's all so meaningless now. 66 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,959 And Pop pays for so much in the village. 67 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,959 The Cheese Hoedown has already been cancelled. 68 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,959 VICAR COUGHS 69 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,959 Where do you stand on Pop Larkin's conviction, Vicar? 70 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,959 You know me, I never judge. 71 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,159 I hear your job is under threat 72 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,959 now the dynamic, young Reverend Candy is here. 73 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,959 Well, that's a tissue of baloney. 74 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,959 CAR DOORS SLAM EDITH: Is that them? 75 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,799 It ruddy is, isn't it? Rise above, darling, rise above. 76 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,799 Villagers. You deal with any bad losers, 77 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,639 I'll chat to the more normal ones. 78 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,959 No, no, no, you love a dust-up. I'll, erm... 79 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,319 If I walk off in this direction... Stop it. Be the man. 80 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,479 How dare you show yourself in the village of Mr Larkin. 81 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,959 Talk to my husband. 82 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,959 Hello, ladies. What super tops! Ooh, thank you! 83 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:46,640 Get back in the car and leave, or I will unleash my ghastly wrath! 84 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,960 Bloody useless. 85 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,999 It was so much fun, 86 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,959 and Primrose was obsessed with this handsome new Reverend Candy. 87 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:07,959 That seems to have gone away. 88 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,959 We slept in the open once. We were attacked by owls. It was so great. 89 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,959 We've missed you. 90 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,959 We loved the postcard of the dead volcano people. 91 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,959 I'm the man about the house now Pop's gone, 92 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,959 but since you're back, Charley, we'll take it in turns. 93 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,959 Yep, good system. What's it like being married? 94 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,639 Is it true love gets deeper and deeper? 95 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,959 Or does it get stale? Like bread? 96 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,959 We girls have been crying ourselves to sleep about Pop. 97 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,959 We don't know what to do with ourselves. 98 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,639 Thanks, can we actually just clear our heads? 99 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,959 But see you for some fun later? 100 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,960 All right! Thanks. 101 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,959 I love them, but I'm exhausted already. 102 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,959 Yes, I forgot how much they have to say. 103 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,960 So let's not tell them I'm pregnant. Oh, agreed. 104 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,959 Oh, am I walking too fast? 105 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,959 No. Are you sure? Do... Do you want a rest? 106 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,799 We've walked ten yards. I'm having a baby, not a nervous breakdown. 107 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,960 Shh! 108 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,959 Thanks for letting me do this at work. 109 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,959 Oh, no, it's not sentiment. 110 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,960 I sense a good story if your dad's been nobbled. 111 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,959 PHONE LINE RINGS 112 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,639 Angela! Ma Larkin. How are ya? 113 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,959 I'm bodacious, and how are you, Pop, and the tots? 114 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,479 Pop was sentenced to a year in prison yesterday... 115 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,959 'so we need your help.' Oh, my God, darling. What? 116 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,959 I know it is an outrage, but I hear that your father is a legal person. 117 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,959 Yes, darling, a QC. 'What's that?' 118 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,639 Queen's Counsel. 119 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,959 What, he counsels the Queen?! 'Well...' 120 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,959 yes, sort of. 121 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,959 Oh, what's she like? 122 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,959 Tell me when you come down to us at the farm. 123 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,639 You and your dad must stay. 124 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,959 We will be there. Father's very wise. 125 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,959 Thank the Lord, cos we need a bit of that. 126 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:00,959 Though rather ancient. 127 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,959 Got to dash, Angela. Come as soon as you can. 128 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,959 Plenty of beds here! 129 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,959 I was wondering if you have business information 130 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,959 on a Mr Cuthbert Jerebohm, who is listed... 131 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,959 Do you have any record of any police cautions, convictions, 132 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,959 or bankruptcy orders in the name Jerebohm - 133 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,959 Phyllis or Cuthbert? 134 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,959 Shouldn't you be checking the proofs? 135 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,480 No, no. This is more interesting. Yeah, uh-huh. 136 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,959 Oh, what a scumbag! 137 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,960 BUZZER BLARES 138 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,639 They told me I can't give you a hug. I know. 139 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,959 And I brought you some food, but they say I've gotta take it home. 140 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,999 I can do without the trimmings, Ma. 141 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,479 It's you and the kids I miss... 142 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,959 and the air and the light. 143 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,959 They all send their love, and Mariette and Charley rushed home. 144 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,960 Ah, Lord love 'em. 145 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:10,960 MA SIGHS 146 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Come on, Stu. 147 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,960 POP CHUCKLES, MA SIGHS 148 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:23,800 So, how is it? 149 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,960 Well, it's a prison, innit? 150 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,959 I'm betting it's like any community, you know? 151 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,959 You gotta suss it out, treat folk nice, 152 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,959 and make it work for YOU, Ma. 153 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,959 And they've got a workshop, so I'm making new friends. 154 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:39,960 POP CHUCKLES 155 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,959 Well, don't get too used to it... 156 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,480 POP CHUCKLES ..cos we are gonna get you out. 157 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,160 Just gimme a couple of days. Of course. 158 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,799 What you got? 159 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,959 Jerebohm is a double-bankrupt with a conviction for fraud, 160 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,959 so he lied about the unblemished social and financial standing. 161 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,959 Pinkie Jerebohm was married before. 162 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,159 Her husband filed for divorce on the grounds of cruelty. Wow. 163 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,959 Yeah. 164 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,959 At the time, she was a member of the burlesque dance troupe 165 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,959 Folie The Bear, based in Dagenham. 166 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,959 I like the sound of her. No, you don't! Is that enough? 167 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,959 Well, maybe not, but it's a good start. 168 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,959 Some of these old magistrates, they can be just sweet-talked, 169 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,479 but yours isn't one of 'em. 170 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,639 Ma can be quite persuasive, as you know. 171 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,960 HE CHUCKLES 172 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,960 Your gentleman caller is back. 173 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,960 Erm, hello. 174 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,960 Hello. 175 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,960 Feel free to chat in my office. No, no, we... we have a routine. 176 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,959 So, how can we fix this? 177 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,959 You stop treating the two of us like a guilty secret. 178 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,959 It's only until I'm known in the parish. 179 00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,959 Now my pop's in prison, 180 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,960 I must be even more embarrassing to be associated with. 181 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,959 So let's keep it businesslike. 182 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,959 Will you please christen me and my six siblings? 183 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,959 None of you are baptised? 184 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,319 Pop and Ma think being good people is the same as being baptised. 185 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,959 That's... not a conventional reading of the Anglican rules. 186 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,959 They aren't conventional parents, 187 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,959 otherwise Pop wouldn't be in a prison cell, 188 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,960 and Ma wouldn't have a varnished snail shell collection. 189 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,320 I would love to baptise you all. 190 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:28,960 Thank you. 191 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,999 DOOR SLAMS Afternoon. 192 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,959 I need you to pull strings and get Pop a TV in his cell 193 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,639 cos he loves telly, and he's not so good on the book reading, 194 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,479 though he's making some nifty arts and crafts. 195 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,959 I don't think I have the power to install a television 196 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,959 in Her Majesty's... 197 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,959 Well, Constable, you had the power to arrest Pop 198 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,959 and get this whole mess started, so I expect amends to be made. 199 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:54,959 Mrs Larkin, I hope I've made it clear 200 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,959 how bad I feel about Pop and... 201 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,959 Oh, you did, gorgeous... 202 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,959 but bad feelings don't butter no parsnips. 203 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,959 Nice to be back with Pauline? 204 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,959 Yeah. Yeah. Although she's still angry with me. 205 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,960 In fact, she's withholding... 206 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,999 ..certain things till Pop gets out. 207 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,959 What things? 208 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,959 Oh, well, you know, the physical, erm... 209 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:17,959 Don't make me say it. 210 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,959 Oh. Good for Pauline. Sure it's not just that she doesn't fancy it? 211 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:26,319 Oh, erm... no. No, I... I think she fancies it. 212 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,959 I mean, she makes all the right, er... 213 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:30,960 noises. 214 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,799 Well, believe me, 215 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,959 we are full steam ahead to get this verdict overturned. 216 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,959 It doesn't need to be a big telly, 217 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,160 and a wireless would be nice an' all. 218 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,959 You'll be all right. The time'll fly by. 219 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,960 No... I think it'll be interminable. 220 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,960 You occupy a special place in the village, Mr Larkin. 221 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,640 And in my heart. Oh, Edith... 222 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,959 Oh, we had an accident earlier today in the prison laundry. 223 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,959 Starch got sprayed everywhere. 224 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,959 The guards are looking for hardened criminals. 225 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:06,960 HE LAUGHS 226 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,959 I just feel so helpless and trapped. 227 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,959 SHE SOBS 228 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:14,960 Oh... 229 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,639 KNOCK ON DOOR Hmm. 230 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,159 Good morning. You may remember me. 231 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,959 You convicted my husband Sidney Larkin a day or two ago. 232 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:35,959 Yes, I did. 233 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,959 Well, we'd love you to reconsider your decision 234 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,959 and agree to our appeal, so we can see justice restored. 235 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,000 All due respect. 236 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,959 My husband's accusers 237 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,959 have a history of criminality and moral turpitude as long as your arm. 238 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,960 It's all in there. 239 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,959 Hello, Reverend. Alec and Norma Norman. 240 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,959 Yes. We are regular church-goers, 241 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,959 but prefer to attend in Pye Merkin, 242 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,959 which offers an elevated social stratum. 243 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,959 Not that God judges us like that of co... 244 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,959 There are no Larkins there, for example. 245 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,959 I find them delightful. 246 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,959 Then you'll know that Mr Larkin is in prison, 247 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,959 and his appeal has failed. 248 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,959 Yes, the vicar told me. He feasts on bad news. 249 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,959 Clearly Larkin's so-called generosity 250 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,480 was financed by him nicking stuff. 251 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,959 Thank you for giving me the subject of my sermon this week. 252 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,959 Thievery? 253 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,959 Rev, can you come and explain to my boy that he's not going to Hell. 254 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,960 He can't sleep nights. Ah, I'm actually on my way to... 255 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,959 HE SIGHS 256 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,960 Yes, of course. 257 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,959 Darling Ma. 258 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:41,959 Angela, thank you so much for coming. 259 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,639 Well, of course, this is an outrage! 260 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,959 Someone's pants are hugely on fire and they must be avenged. 261 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:52,639 I cannot believe that the magistrate would not accept our appeal. 262 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,639 For once, I'm wondering if I'm up to the task. 263 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,959 Well, you're not a lawyer, 264 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,960 but my father is, and there's nothing he can't do. 265 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,640 Evening! Afternoon. 266 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,960 Afternoon, my mistake. Easily done. 267 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,959 Welcome to Larkin Farm, your Royal Honour. 268 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,960 Oh, I say. How kind of you. 269 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:36,959 Yes? 270 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,959 Hello, Vicar. I need to speak to Reverend Candy. 271 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:40,999 Why? He's not here. 272 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:46,160 Um, he's baptising some Larkins, and I need to give him our full names. 273 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960 I'll take them. In! 274 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,960 It's very much a room of two halves, isn't it? 275 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,959 Mm. 276 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,959 You'd have to ask my junior 277 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,959 why he's vacuumed and tidied only his side. 278 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,959 Well, I imagine Reverend Candy would say he realised 279 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,639 he was doing all the work, so he needed to dig his heels in. 280 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,960 You're very well informed. 281 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,959 Well, when he isn't digging his heels in, 282 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:19,959 he's very special, isn't he? 283 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,959 He's boosted church attendance, and he looks lovely, and... 284 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,999 Yeah, I'm tired of hearing how special he is. 285 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,960 Oh. Well, I'll shut up, then. 286 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,959 Are these names a joke? 287 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,479 Sadly, no. 288 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,799 Well, I'm still the vicar here, despite the rev's obvious ambition, 289 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,959 so if anyone's gonna do it, it'll be me. 290 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,959 But... he offered first. 291 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,959 He's too busy. 292 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,959 And if you or any other Larkin want to set foot in church again 293 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,959 or get married here, you'll be sprinkled by me, 294 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,960 Vicar-in-Chief. 295 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,319 Well, it seems Reverend Candy has been detained by his huge workload, 296 00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,960 so I'll say goodbye. 297 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960 See you at your christening. 298 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,960 Hey! Come on. Let's have some fun! 299 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,959 There's more important and serious things going on. 300 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,959 All the more reason to have some fun! 301 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,639 Like, er... er... Like the belly flop contest! 302 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,959 Loudest smack wins! Not in the mood. 303 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,960 Come on, Ma told me to cheer you all up. 304 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,960 Right. Come on. 305 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,960 OK. 306 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,960 I actually wouldn't recommend that. 307 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,959 Mum, Charley and Prim are getting more evidence together. 308 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,000 Then they'll try again on the appeal. 309 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,159 Oh, Pop, it's fabulous to see you again, even in a prison uniform. 310 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,960 You too, darlin'. Yeah. So, come on, tell me something cheerful. 311 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,959 I will, as you're stuck in here, 312 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,960 but you have to promise not to tell anyone, even Ma. 313 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:09,959 I can tell Stu, though, right? 314 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,320 We've got no secrets, have we, Stu? Nah. 315 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,959 I'm pregnant. You're gonna be a granddad. 316 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,799 Oh, Mariette, that makes me so happy. 317 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:20,959 And that makes me happy. 318 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,959 Me and Ma were saying, "What's taking you and Charley so long?" 319 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,319 We've been together a year. 320 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,959 Exactly, you should've knocked out a coupla twins by now. 321 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960 Pop! 322 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:36,960 ORGAN PLAYS 323 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,799 Remember, promise not to tell the family. 324 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,959 Not till we get you out at least. 325 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,999 Of course. My lips are seals. 326 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,960 Thanks, Pop. 327 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,959 Ain't she lovely? It's my oldest. She's pregnant, you know? 328 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,959 MEN: Great! Congratulations! Well done! 329 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,960 Let's go out and celebrate! THEY LAUGH 330 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,959 Hello, dear. How much is a big whisky? 331 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,959 Three bob. Are you sure, Miss Pilchester? 332 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,960 Never seen you take alcohol. Just line her up, please. 333 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,959 Did you see the show-jumping on telly last night? 334 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,480 No, I... don't have a machine. 335 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,799 Upset about Pop? 336 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,959 Yes, I am. I'd like another, please. 337 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:13,960 Then I'll go home to my spinster's home and my spinster's life. 338 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,000 How many drinks do I need to get drunk? 339 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,959 Depends. Some old lush told me there are seven stages of intoxication. 340 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:23,960 Oh, and what number am I? 341 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,000 Two and a half. 342 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,999 I've been known to go past stage four. You don't wanna do that. 343 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,479 No, of course not. Why not? 344 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,319 Cos to give you some idea, six is coma and seven is death. 345 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,960 Right. Thank you. 346 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,959 PIANO PLAYS 347 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:53,959 # Cold blows the wind O'er my true love 348 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,959 # Cold blows the drops of rain... # 349 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,959 Come on, Pauline. 350 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,959 # I never had but one true love 351 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,959 # In the greenwood, he was slain 352 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:12,959 # I'll do as much for my true love 353 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,959 # As any young girl may. # 354 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,959 Edith, we'll take you home. 355 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,799 Hey, I bought your crow a gin, you said he'd recite the Lord's Prayer. 356 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,000 Yeah, well, this has never happened before. I'd better drink it. 357 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,960 SHE SCOFFS 358 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,959 Evening. 359 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,799 Any chance I could arrest you for being pretty after your shift? 360 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,959 Thanks, but I've got another job for you. 361 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,320 Oh, what's that? 362 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960 Taking Miss Pilchester home. 363 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,959 Ah... I'd love to, but it's not Thursday, 364 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,639 so I haven't got use of the police vehicle. 365 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,960 And? 366 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,960 Please, look, watch me do Charley's trick. 367 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,000 SHE SIGHS 368 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,959 So, the Jerebohms are as fake as a dog with nine legs. 369 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,959 But the magistrate, Major Sprague, 370 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:20,959 says we can only challenge on the facts. 371 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:25,479 Well, the case that you've outlined seems riddled with inconsistencies. 372 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,959 Don't you agree, Daddy? 373 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,959 What? Oh, yes, yes, I do. 374 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,959 Becau... Well, yes, erm... 375 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,959 These days he takes a while to warm up. 376 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,959 The Queen's worn him out! 377 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,959 Ah, yes, erm... 378 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,799 Who was present at the planning of this fraud and break-in? 379 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:47,959 Hmm? Ah? 380 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,159 And do you think they could they be persuaded 381 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,959 to do the decent thing? 382 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,959 Only Mr and Mrs Jerebohms and Alec Norman were there. 383 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,959 Ah... 384 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,959 Oh. 385 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,959 I had to tell Pop. 386 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,959 I felt so sorry for him, dressed like a criminal. 387 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,959 If anyone can make use of his time inside, it's your dad. 388 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,959 God, if he did ten years, he'd leave as Prison Governor. 389 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,959 Mm. He's smooth-talked himself a job in the kitchen. 390 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,960 You see! What a... 391 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,479 Is that a rattlesnake? 392 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,319 Rattlesnakes in Kent?! You're still such a townie. 393 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,959 Oh, I'm sorry... Can you check an income tax form in under a minute? 394 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,960 Cos I can. Ooh, you sexy beast! 395 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,960 Oh, evening, Constable. Evening. 396 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,959 What you watching, square-eyes? Dunno. 397 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,959 Just to warn you, in case you see the vicar, 398 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:45,959 he wants to baptise us all. 399 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,959 We want the young, handsome one. 400 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,959 Well, the old gnarled one says he's doing it 401 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,960 or none of us can ever get married in his church. 402 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,959 Then we have to go ahead. 403 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,959 Me and Petunia have already planned our weddings. 404 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,159 I'm having real unicorns in church. 405 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,959 You can order them from South America. 406 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,959 Oh! I don't wanna do it no more. 407 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:03,999 As the man about the house now, 408 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,959 I need to remind you why we're doing this: 409 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,959 to make people think we're respectable. 410 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,959 Oh, we are respectable, 411 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,999 but you know what, it might be a healthy diversion. 412 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,319 And an excuse for new frocks. 413 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,959 I'll wear one of Dad's suits. 414 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,959 CHOKED: Mm... 415 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,159 Stop it now! Who wants hot chocolate? 416 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:26,959 # All things bright and beautiful 417 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,319 # The Lord God made them all. # 418 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,960 Thank you, that was, erm... Thank you. 419 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,959 Once in a golden hour I cast to earth a seed 420 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,959 Up there came a flower 421 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,160 The people said, a weed. 422 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,959 Tennyson. 423 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,959 In other words, today's sermon is about judgement. 424 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:56,960 ORGAN SOUNDS Sorry! 425 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,959 Why do we love to condemn, 426 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,999 and see guilt or fault where there is none? 427 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:09,959 Why does kindness so often come second to blame? 428 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,959 No, don't just accept it! 429 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,959 Let's work hard to love each other more! 430 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,959 And to share that love, 431 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,799 because how else will we make the world 432 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,960 a better and more beautiful place? 433 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:27,960 Who do you all love? 434 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,960 I love Primrose Larkin. 435 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,960 DOOR OPENS 436 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,959 I've never seen any of these people before in my life! 437 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,959 THEY LAUGH Oh, come on. Welcome back, Charley. 438 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,479 This is gonna take a while, innit, hey? 439 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,959 You all right, darling? That's it. Thank you, Victoria. 440 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,959 And first thing you've all gotta do is stop with the tragic faces 441 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,959 cos me telly's arrived, you brilliant woman. 442 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,959 THEY LAUGH Oh, mwah! 443 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,319 Hey, and guess what, 444 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:35,959 I've been working in the kitchen now. 445 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,959 Turns out you can have a lot of fun cooking. 446 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,959 You should try it, Ma. THEY LAUGH 447 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,960 Hey, hey, hey. Stu, come on. 448 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,959 There you go. Watch, watch, watch, watch! 449 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,959 Get ready! THEY GASP 450 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,799 Wow! Oh! Ta-da! 451 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,959 Oh, my Lord. Hey! 452 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,959 That is a work of art. 453 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,959 Thank you. Monty get a photo, son. That's it. 454 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,959 Now then, newlyweds, have you got something to tell me? 455 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,959 We... don't know what you mean. 456 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,959 About your Europe. Just been round it, ain't you, eh? 457 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:07,959 I'm not seeing much of it in here. 458 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,959 We promise, Pop, you'll hear every detail as soon as you get out. 459 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:11,959 Good. 460 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,959 On that subject, your escape committee are making progress 461 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,799 with the assistance of Angela Snow's dad, who's a QC - 462 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,959 that stands for Counsel to the Queen. 463 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,319 Special lady. I love a queen. 464 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,799 Ma, we know. We know you love a queen. 465 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,959 Yeah, thank you. 466 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,639 And you can all imagine how much you mean to me. 467 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,959 So... 468 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,960 what about this baby? 469 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,799 Come on, Oscar. 470 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,639 Hey, are you gonna come and give us a song? 471 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,959 Hey, give us a chorus of Jailhouse Rock? 472 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,959 Look at that, Oscar. Oh, that looks lovely. 473 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,960 Don't have too much fun. This is a prison, you know! 474 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,639 But Pop seemed all right, though, didn't he, Ma... considering? 475 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,959 I was just thinking about him missing your christenings. 476 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,959 He's not churchy, though, is he? He says he worships women. 477 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,959 He's not one for ceremonies, either, otherwise you'd be married. 478 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,959 We've been too busy raising you lot. 479 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,959 We'll record it. What? 480 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,959 On one of those little cine film cameras. 481 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:11,959 And Pop can watch it when he gets out. 482 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,959 I don't understand modern technology. 483 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,959 Hold on, did we leave Oscar in jail? 484 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,960 No, I've got him. Ah. 485 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,959 Come on. "Did we leave him...?" God! 486 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,960 Can you imagine?! 487 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,960 Ah, hello, darling. 488 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,959 Why are you doing that face? Hmm? 489 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,959 Oh, I'm rehearsing my forthcoming role 490 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,159 of a man who looks wistfully back at his life. 491 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,800 Ah. 492 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,959 I had a lady sat here earlier, 493 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,959 who mentioned a spectacular sermon yesterday 494 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,959 by the new reverend. 495 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,959 Yes, I've been told by 18,000 people (!) 496 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:02,960 He's very dynamic. 497 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,479 It seems like you're the old tortoise, 498 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,160 and he's the hare, yet, in fact, he keeps winning the race. 499 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,959 RIGHT! That was quite a reaction. Bit much? 500 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,959 I've given my life to this parish. Yes, I'm a bit tired now. 501 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,959 No, I don't go in for showy displays of religiosity, 502 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,959 but I am still a massively important spiritual leader! 503 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:25,959 And I will prove it. 504 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,960 Yes, that's much better. Yes, lots of vim. 505 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,959 You really miss your Pop, don't ya? 506 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,959 AS POP: All right, darlin'? Perfick. 507 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,960 SHE CHUCKLES 508 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,479 Miss Pilchester! What a pleasure. 509 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:49,959 It's all mine, Mrs Larkin. 510 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,959 I just wanted to say how absolutely ghastly 511 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,959 it must be without your husband. 512 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,959 TEARFULLY: Yeah... Yeah, it is. 513 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,959 And I'm going to be honest with you, 514 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,959 inspired in part by Reverend Candy's declaration of love for Primrose. 515 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,639 Oh, there was so much rejoicing in the Larkin household about that. 516 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,800 Well, if I may... 517 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:15,959 ..I love your husband. 518 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,959 Oh, we all love Pop... No. 519 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,959 No, really love him. A frightening amount. 520 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,959 MA SCOFFS I can never have him 521 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,319 because you are the most glorious, loving couple, 522 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,959 but I just wanted to lay my love out in the open 523 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,799 like a huge, slightly embarrassing pumpkin 524 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:31,959 and never mention it again. 525 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,959 Oh, Edith. 526 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,959 It also explains my recent drunken escapade. 527 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,960 There's... There's no need to explain. 528 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,959 Love Pop as much as you like. 529 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,960 He's got a lot of time for you as well. 530 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960 Tea for two in the garden, please?! 531 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,960 But you're so hard on yourself. 532 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:55,959 Look at you. 533 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,959 You're beautiful... Have to stop you there. 534 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,960 You are! Sorry. 535 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,960 You're passionate and energetic and kind. 536 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,960 But you're not kind to yourself. 537 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,960 Love yourself more, Edith. 538 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:15,959 I'll try. 539 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,960 In the meantime, can I do anything to help bring Pop home? 540 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,959 Well, we're trying to think of someone 541 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,959 who'd come over to our side with evidence. 542 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,159 Funny you should say that. 543 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,639 Looking at the Jerebohms' chauffeur, I sensed he was thinking, 544 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:31,959 "Why am I working for this absolute bitch?" 545 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,959 Yes, I'm saying things out loud these days 546 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:35,999 which are meant just for my head. 547 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,959 Do be careful about that, but... the chauffeur. 548 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,320 That's a good thought. 549 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:45,959 Hello, dears! 550 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,319 Oh, thanks, poppets! SHE CHUCKLES 551 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,959 Why don't you get Mariette to sweet-talk him? 552 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,959 What's his name? Berndt. 553 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,960 Burnt? He's Austrian. 554 00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,959 Hello, Vicar! 555 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,959 Come and join the party. What brings you here? 556 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,960 Another cup and the big cake! 557 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,959 And a cold flannel! 558 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:13,959 I hear that the Reverend Candy has been stealing your thunder. 559 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,959 To be honest, we're all wondering why you're still here, Vicar. 560 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,959 Sorry. That... That escaped from my head. 561 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,959 BREATHLESSLY: And that's exactly why I'm here. 562 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,640 HE PANTS HEAVILY 563 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:27,960 Ah! 564 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,479 I'm organising a mass christening for your kids 565 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,959 and anyone else who's been too much of a heathen to get around to it. 566 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:37,959 We're not heathens. 567 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,959 We just reckon that God'll take us as He finds us. 568 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,799 It doesn't work like that. 569 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,959 It really doesn't. I've read the big book. 570 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,959 All right. Go on, then. 571 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,959 Allow plenty of time cos they've got a few middle names. 572 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,959 I know. 573 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,959 And I'm gonna steal my thunder back from Candy, 574 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,959 so I'm here to say 575 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,480 I'll be using your new swimming pool for the baptism. 576 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,320 All right! THEY CHUCKLE 577 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,959 What do I do if the horrible family come back? 578 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:16,959 They won't. 579 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,959 He dropped Mr Jerebohm off at the station 580 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,959 and Mrs and their weird children at the golf course. 581 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,960 OK, right, well, off I go, then. How do I look? 582 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,959 Charley? Huh? 583 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,959 Sorry. Um, yeah, looking good. 584 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:33,320 Mm-hm? Too good. 585 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,960 I need to look seductive. 586 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,000 Hey. 587 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,959 Really? SHE CHUCKLES 588 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,959 Berndt is such a nice name, really pretty. 589 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,959 Where did you get it from? Oh, it's the usual. From my papi. 590 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:55,959 From your puppy? 591 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,479 My daddy, my papi. Of course. 592 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,959 I love my dad so much. 593 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,320 That's why I'm heartbroken. I can't believe he'd steal. 594 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:05,959 No. 595 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,160 So... tell me he didn't do it. Just for my own peace of mind. 596 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,959 Your papi didn't do it. 597 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,959 Thank you. So that means your employers must be evil. 598 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,959 They are... totally! So why are you working for them? 599 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,959 They have... information about me which is very bad. 600 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,959 I can't tell you how bad it is. It's... so bad. 601 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,959 So they've put my innocent Pop in jail, 602 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,959 and they're blackmailing you? 603 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,959 Any other terrible things? Yeah, there are other things. 604 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,959 You need to say this to the magistrate... to help us. 605 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:37,960 I cannot. 606 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,999 TEARFULLY: Imagine how you'd feel... if your dad was in prison, and... 607 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,960 SHE CRIES Oh! 608 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,960 I'm sorry. I'm pregnant. 609 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,959 I found a big potato in my handbag this morning. 610 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,959 I must have put it there. 611 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:56,959 Hormones. 612 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,959 Anyway... SHE SNIFFLES 613 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,959 The safe was ordered and delivered just before your daddy was caught. 614 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,159 SHE GASPS IN RELIEF I have the wrapping. 615 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,479 A coincidence? No. 616 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,479 SHE LAUGHS TEARFULLY Thank you! 617 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:11,159 Other things... would you like a hankie? 618 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,960 Yes, please! 619 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,320 Fraulein. 620 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,000 SHE BLOWS HER NOSE 621 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,959 It couldn't be clearer than the nose on your face, could it? 622 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,959 Massive nose! 623 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:24,959 We're not saying your nose is massive. 624 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,959 This evidence is in conjunction with the papers already presented, 625 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,959 duplicated in file D before you there, 626 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,999 of the Jerebohms' history of moral and financial impropriety. 627 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,959 I need more time to consider my response, er... 628 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,960 so we will reconvene on Monday morning. 629 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,959 I just feel that it's not a very good idea any more. 630 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,959 The Larkins are very tenacious. 631 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,959 'You had your pound of flesh, and I should release him.' 632 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,959 Well, if you're planning to do that, and that's fine... 633 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:56,959 Thank you. 634 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,959 'I shall come round, punch your stupid face a bit' 635 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,959 then reveal you're a corrupt judge 636 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,960 and your whole life's work has been a sham. 637 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,960 LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC, INDISTINCT CHATTER 638 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,799 I can't swim, Vicar, so we'll have to do it in the shallow end. 639 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,959 Yeah, and can we not splash my hair? I've had it done special. 640 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,960 Oh, shut up. 641 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,960 INDISTINCT CHATTER, ROWDY LAUGHTER 642 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,959 Was this a good idea? Yeah. 643 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,959 Distraction, eternal salvation and a pool party, 644 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,799 what could be better? 645 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,960 Aw, look at the cherubs. 646 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,480 Here, Ma, have some Champagne. 647 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,959 It's like theatre, religion, isn't it? 648 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,959 Ritualistic and heady, with some lovely costuming. 649 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,959 You compare everything to showbusiness. 650 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:11,959 You do, shopping, lawn-mowing, a fish tank is like a stage. 651 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,799 A good comedy is like a tomato. 652 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,959 Oh, by the way, do you know a good violin teacher? 653 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,959 I've assured the producer I can play, 654 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,959 and I've only got until Thursday to learn. 655 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:22,960 But as I say, the fiery hair's just a bonus, really. 656 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,959 Do you know what I love about her especially? 657 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,479 It's a combination of... 658 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,960 Excuse me, I need to hand the vicar his paraphernalia. 659 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,959 You've been banging on about Primrose for half an hour, 660 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,320 well, I'm a reasonably interesting woman, too. 661 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,959 Hey. Hey. 662 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,799 You're not boozing - are you pregnant? 663 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,959 If only! Silly boy! 664 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,960 Can you imagine? Come on, we need to go and get ready. 665 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:05,960 Right, come on, come on, let's have some hush. 666 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,959 A baptism is a solemn sacrament 667 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,959 to be approached with due reverence. 668 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,959 So I don't want to see any farting around 669 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,959 or whingeing about getting splashed. 670 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,960 Ah, now, how am I going to do this? 671 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,960 Why don't you all get in the water and we'll go from there? 672 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,960 SPLASHING, BABY CRIES 673 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:36,960 It reminds me of the D-day landings. 674 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,959 I'm itching to go on. Maybe I can borrow some trunks. 675 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,959 I'm gonna take the godparents' section as read 676 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,480 otherwise we'll be here all bloody day. 677 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,960 Right. 678 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,960 Actually, I now feel rather stupid. 679 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,960 Well, I know you, I'll start with you. 680 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,959 "I baptise you, 681 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,000 "Primrose Violet Anemone Iris..." SIGHS 682 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,959 "..Magnolia Narcissus Larkin." 683 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,960 GEESE HONK AND FLUTTER 684 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,000 I hate geese! 685 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,960 Quick. Someone help her! 686 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,960 LAUGHTER 687 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,960 Oh, it's always about him, isn't it? 688 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,959 GUARD: Well done! MAN: Good on ya', Ma! 689 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,959 Congratulations, Mrs Larkin. 690 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,960 LOW CHATTER 691 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,960 All right, darlin'? I suppose. 692 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,319 I've, er... had a problem with a souffle. 693 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,959 Did you open the oven door in the middle to take a look? 694 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,639 I know what you're like. 695 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,159 Oh, I did, yeah, oh, yeah. 696 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,959 Could've been opening the oven door, Stu, yeah, could've been that. 697 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,639 It's all looking good for your release, 698 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,159 so I hope this is the last time we're gonna have to meet here. 699 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,959 Well, I'm putting a brave face on it, Ma, that's for sure. 700 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:33,000 I've made some friends in here, but I wanna come home, Ma. 701 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,479 How was the christening? 702 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:40,959 Safe to say, for a religious service it lacked a bit of "gravit-arse". 703 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:41,959 Sounds good. Wish I was there. 704 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,960 We thought of that. 705 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,640 Ah! 706 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,959 Congratulations. 707 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,799 All right, what's going on? 708 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,960 For your and Pop's future grandchild. 709 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,959 TOY RATTLES 710 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,959 See, Mariette and Charley, they didn't want any fuss, Ma, 711 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,479 and so I promised them, but... 712 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,960 I'm no good at keeping secrets. 713 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,959 I know it's not as much of a holiday camp as you lot make out, 714 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,319 but thanks for looking after him. 715 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,960 I just need to know why is it Pop was told, and I wasn't? 716 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,959 Ma, just don't tell the others. 717 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,959 Mariette and Charley don't want any fuss till they're ready. 718 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,800 Course I won't. 719 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,959 They're gonna have a baby! 720 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,639 We're gonna be aunties! I'm Aunty Zinnia! 721 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:45,959 Another christening! 722 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,320 No, absolutely not! We'll arrange this one... 723 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:50,960 Hello, Ma! 724 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,959 JOYFUL LAUGHTER 725 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:01,799 And I regard unattributed innuendo, masquerading as evidence, 726 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:02,959 to be a very shaky basis 727 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,959 for overturning a well-considered judgement. 728 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,799 Are you out of your tiny? 729 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,319 No, and the verdict stands. 730 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:12,959 Well, we're not giving up. 731 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:13,999 I work for a newspaper, 732 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,959 and we will make sure everyone knows about this abuse of power. 733 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,479 I'd advise that you didn't. 734 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,319 Any attempt to raise the matter or appeal again, 735 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:26,960 and I'll be minded to double Sidney Larkin's sentence. 736 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,960 What...?! 737 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,959 So he has been well and truly done like a kipper, 738 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,479 as Pop would no doubt describe it. 739 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,639 Right. You have to say, they got jolly close. 740 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,959 Pinkie will be breathing a sigh of relief 741 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,959 out of her pair of pretty lungs. 742 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:45,959 Yes. 743 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,959 Obviously, there's a slight disappointment that Major Sprague 744 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,959 didn't actually bump Larkin's sentence up to two years, but... 745 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,959 Stop now. 746 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,160 Something wrong? 747 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,959 Do you need a drink at three o'clock in the afternoon? 748 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,959 Yes, I do, 749 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,959 because I appear to be married to a man without a shred of conscience. 750 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,959 The Larkins are an irritant, but they've never been evil. 751 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,959 Is there a difference? Really? 752 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,959 You cooked up this plan with the Jerebohms. 753 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,959 Well, I was more of a consultant. 754 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,960 And I let it happen because frankly I never thought it would work... 755 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:22,959 ..but Pop is in prison. 756 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,960 Doesn't that make you feel uncomfortable? 757 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,959 Do you know what this is? 758 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,799 Once again, it's decent working people 759 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,959 being beaten down by the powers of class and privilege. 760 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,159 Well, perhaps, but... 761 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:59,959 And, Angela, in the nicest possible way, 762 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,479 you and your father have been a fat lot of good. 763 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,959 It's a fair point. 764 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,959 Look, it's not over yet, Ma. 765 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,960 But it is, isn't it? 766 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,960 We've been living on hope, and it's run out. 767 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,960 And it's me that's gotta go and tell that to Pop tomorrow. 768 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:20,959 That's if I haven't been round 769 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,959 to the Jerebohms and the Normans tonight, shot 'em all 770 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,959 and got myself arrested. 771 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,960 KNOCK AT DOOR 772 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,959 Hello, Mrs Larkin. 773 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,959 What do you want? 774 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,639 I've heard the latest about your husband 775 00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,959 and... I'm uncomfortable. 776 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,960 Uncomfortable? 777 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,799 Well, we are rather worse than that. 778 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,319 Yes, yes, you must be. 779 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,959 So unless you have your husband's sawn-off head in your bag 780 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:03,479 to show me, or the solution to our problems, I'd go home. 781 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:04,960 I-I, well... 782 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,960 ..I do have some information. 783 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,960 Sorry, I had a sherry earlier, and it's, er... 784 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,480 ..it's just catching up with me. 785 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:28,960 There are things going on which you should know about. 786 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,960 THEY LAUGH 787 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,800 THEY LAUGH 788 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,640 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 81790

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