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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,873 (Frank)'Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,269 'At least l don't think they are. 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,638 'But it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, 4 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,915 'and me kids, who l'm proud of, 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,118 'cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,078 'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for. 7 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,193 'Fiona, who's a big help, a massive help. 8 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:35,195 'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Phillip any more. 9 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,876 'lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, cos she's disappeared, 10 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,393 'and good luck to her. 11 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:44,597 'And Carl. We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons - 12 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,275 'one, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah, two, nits love him. 13 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,512 'Debbie. Sent by God. Total angel. 14 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,878 'You have to check your change but she'll always do you a favour. 15 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,191 'Plus Liam! Little rock'n'roller! 16 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:04,432 'Gonna be a star... once we've got the fits under control. 17 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:08,832 'Three things, see, are vital to a half-decent community. 18 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:14,199 'Space. You need wide-open spaces where everyone goes mental. 19 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:18,671 'And neighbourliness. Fantastic neighbours. 20 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,795 (Fireworks whizz) 21 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,759 'Kev and Veronica. Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 22 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,799 'But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost 23 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,190 'one of the most vital necessities in this life 24 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,909 'is they know how to throw a party.' 25 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,116 (Sirens) 26 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,229 Hiya. l said l'd help your Karen with her homework. 27 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,199 OK. Take your shoes off. 28 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,238 - Fair enough. - l'll get you a carrier bag. 29 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,710 She's got this thing about people bringing soil into the house. 30 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,598 - Right. - She's not as mad as she seems. 31 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,150 - Agoraphobia. - Oh, right. 32 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,437 - So how come you know all this? - lt's just something l do. 33 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,636 - What, like a hobby? - No. 34 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,517 - The plans. - What, physics? 35 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:54,913 All sorts. Look. l've got a great 'un for Newton's First. Watch. 36 00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:03,112 Every body continues in a state of rest or uniform motion 37 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,953 unless acted upon by an external... 38 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,349 - (Zip unzips) - ..force. 39 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,916 - Karen! - Hello. 40 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,070 Don't do... Look, Karen! 41 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,196 To be honest, l could do with the money. 42 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,511 - What money? - l charge for homework. 43 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,830 l'm skint. 44 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,632 OK. 45 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,998 (Whispers) Fuck! 46 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,070 - Have you got any deodorant? - Erm... 47 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,230 l'm using lan's. 48 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:47,791 lf l stick this lot in the washer before l go out, will you keep an eye on it? 49 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,599 - Do it tomorrow. - God, it stinks in here. 50 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,672 - lt's the T-shirt l'm in. - That's why it stinks. 51 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,228 - You three are like chimps. - (Veronica) Fiona! 52 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,231 We need to go if we're gonna get a lift. 53 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,232 (Fiona) Give us five minutes, Veronica. 54 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,677 (Door slams) 55 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:34,754 Hiya. 56 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,672 (Techno music) 57 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,396 Oi! 58 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,879 Excuse me! 59 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,793 - He's got me bag! - Excuse me. 60 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,633 - Move! - Oi! He's got me bag! 61 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,599 Move, move, move! 62 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,595 Bastard! 63 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,232 (Tyres squeal) 64 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,072 Look, l'm sorry. 65 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,914 l know you missed but that were top fucking notch. 66 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,992 Steve. l was gonna offer to buy you a drink anyway. 67 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,759 - Were you now? - Yeah, l was, actually. 68 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:43,230 - What do you reckon, Veronica? - l don't know. Do l get one? 69 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,675 Yeah, l think you will. 70 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,639 - Snake bites all round, yeah? - Maybe. 71 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,917 No, no, no. You're not getting back in like that. 72 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,911 - What? - Look at the state of him. 73 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,310 State of you. lf you were doing your job, he wouldn't have had to. 74 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,278 - You fat twat. - You're barred. 75 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,430 - What for? - Er...drugs. 76 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,556 - He let them get away. - Watch your mouth, spunk face. 77 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,074 - Don't talk to her like that. - Or what? 78 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,230 Forget it. Let's get a taxi. 79 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,832 - Thanks. - Thanks anyway. 80 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,312 (Both scream) 81 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,715 - Come on! - You fat wanker! 82 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,794 (Lip) l got a blowjob today. 83 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,554 What have you been told about encouraging pets? 84 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:49,395 - Karen Jackson. - Yeah, right, Lip. 85 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,916 She's desperate to get physics. l didn't ask. 86 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,594 l didn't even know until she yanked it out. 87 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,669 You'd have told me straightaway if you would have been noshed. 88 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,479 You ever had yours sucked? 89 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,393 Well...once or twice. 90 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,436 Didn't hear you telling me. 91 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:18,071 How come, lan? A breakthrough like that, if we tell each other everything... 92 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,470 Unless you got it sucked by a bloke. 93 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,756 (Sobs) 94 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,389 What was it he called you? A spunky monkey or something. 95 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,678 lt wasn't me he called spunk face. lt was her. l'm more of a juice face. 96 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,513 - Not in front of the kids, mate. - They've heard worse. 97 00:07:55,600 --> 00:08:00,116 - l get it off them. - (Steve) Here's the spunky monkey. 98 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:05,433 l nearly wet meself when you whacked that guy. Well, l did a bit. 99 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,954 He'll kill you if ever he sees you, Steve. 100 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,917 Yeah? 101 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,437 - How many people live here? - l'm next door but one. 102 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,751 But next door's dead so l'm, erm...next door. 103 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,513 - Yeah? Are you a nurse, Veronica? - Er...part time. 104 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,955 - (Fiona) You lying cow. - She's a cleaner. 105 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,350 (Veronica) They asked me to train twice, at least. 106 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,318 (Fiona) Just before they sacked you for thieving. 107 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,358 lf you're using stolen goods, l'm on the blower. 108 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,829 Will you shut up! You don't even know him! 109 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,797 Sit still. 110 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,872 l would do if you stopped nudging me with your knockers. 111 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,229 - Argh, Jesus! - Sit still! 112 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,550 l'm Steve, by the way. 113 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,949 Debbie. 114 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,712 - Lip. - Carl. 115 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,234 - And that's lan. - Hi, lan. 116 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,356 Hey, Debbie, why do they call him Lip? 117 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,193 A- you stink, B- you're not as funny as you think, 118 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,272 C- you whacked a bouncer so you'll be dead soon. 119 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,557 - (Debbie) Stuff like that. - Yeah, boy meets death wish. 120 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,438 We-hey! l thought you were fetching an lndian home. 121 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,875 l couldn't be arsed so l found a tax payer. 122 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,791 - What's going on? - We got turfed out. 123 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,111 Steve stuck up for us. Decked a bouncer. 124 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,556 - Which bouncer? - Jimmy Clifton. 125 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,993 Fuck me. 126 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,036 (Fiona) Come on, you lot. Off to bed. 127 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,474 - Bed. - (Steve) Night, kids. See you later. 128 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,710 - Bye! - See you, love. 129 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,676 - That's his? - Yeah. Well, work's. 130 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,469 - What kind of work? - Car sales. 131 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,518 - Where? - l don't know. Didn't ask. 132 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,431 l'm not as nosy as you. 133 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,751 Oh, right. But you didn't mind watching him take his shirt off. 134 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,674 No. And if you hadn't walked in l'd have tripped him up and dived under. 135 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,716 Phwoargh! (Giggles) 136 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,235 Right, straight answer. 137 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:26,472 lf l hadn't busted my skull for you, would you have looked twice? 138 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,199 Who's saying l looked twice? 139 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,070 You did then. 140 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,356 l can't. 141 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,635 99%/% of this world's problems are caused by little words that come in pairs. 142 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,072 We're healthy and we're happy 143 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:02,676 and yet when anybody asks us, we say, ''Not bad.'' 144 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:11,038 When l saw you for the first time, dancing, about a month ago, by the way, 145 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,953 l was desperate to buy you a drink. 146 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:20,878 But you know what l said to myself? ''l can't. She won't. We wouldn't.'' 147 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:27,031 And then you're there again tonight and me getting a second chance 148 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,156 to make a good impression. 149 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,789 So you say stop and l'll stop. 150 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,476 Slower. 151 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,557 Oh, yeah! Nearly! Nearly! 152 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,075 - (Knocking) - Shit! 153 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,878 Shit! 154 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,910 - Fiona in? - Yeah. Er...yeah, she's upstairs. 155 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,350 l'll just go get her. 156 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,598 - Police. - l know. l'll sort it. 157 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,597 (Shouting) Go away! 158 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,558 (Girl) Come here, Liam. Back to bed. 159 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,039 l wouldn't put him anywhere near a carpet until his kecks dry off a bit. 160 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,478 (Steve) What the fuck's that? (Fiona) lt's me dad. 161 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,795 Thanks, Tony. l appreciate it. 162 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,316 Cheers, Fiona. Night. 163 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,831 - Hey, do you want a hand? - No, you're all right. 164 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,952 Do you, erm... do you leave him there all night? 165 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,759 He's never there when l get up. 166 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,715 Who's the little 'un? Liam? 167 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,916 Brother. 168 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,959 (Knock at door, washing machine spinning) 169 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,190 (Steve) Hiya. 170 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,068 Listen, erm... l'm wondering how you're fixed for Friday. 171 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,315 - Party. - Great. 172 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,073 - You wouldn't get invited. - ls it a hen do? 173 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,549 lt's just not that kind of party. 174 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,632 Look, Steve, you're not that desperate. 175 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,429 - Wanting to see you again is desperate? - Feeling like you have to. 176 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,309 You could get laid anywhere. 177 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,392 So l'm only here for a fuck? 178 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,471 Never crossed your mind? 179 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,189 This is all a bit Hans Christian Andersen. 180 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,789 You see, you think you find your dream girl, 181 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,553 then her incontinent alcoholic father wrecks it. 182 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,030 - Don't take the piss. - Don't pretend you don't even know me. 183 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,190 You weren't that drunk. 184 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:59,237 lf the only reason last night happened was because it happened, 185 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,515 don't knock it, all right? 186 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,670 At least something did. 187 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,669 lt did for me. 188 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,558 - Hey, it's the smart arse. - Hey, it's the loser. 189 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,598 - No school today? - Two teeth out this morning. 190 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,194 lf you're chewing, don't just do it on one side. 191 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,795 That can bugger your jaw and that'll change the way you walk. 192 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,110 - ls that a fact? - lt's a skeletal fact. 193 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,352 lf you talk out of your arse, you'll need a bigger toothbrush. Anal fact. 194 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,396 Cheers. 195 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,077 Lip. 196 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,234 (Machine restarts) 197 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,549 Look... 198 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,755 Thanks about the bag. 199 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:51,510 - And stuff. - (Steve laughs) 200 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,593 - Stuff? - l'm just not looking, Steve. 201 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,195 l'm not having this. 202 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,558 Look, just once, for me, then l swear l'll shut up about everything. 203 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,632 Swear though, Lip, then. 204 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,154 Just try it. You might like it. 205 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,117 Oh, she's thrilled with you. 206 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,634 She got an A for her physics. 207 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,518 Karen, it's your little helper! 208 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,558 l'll get you carrier bags. 209 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,078 (Man) Right, l'm off. 210 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:43,119 Oh, hiya, lads. Where's our Karen? 211 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,954 Out looking for a felt tip. 212 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,799 Guess. 213 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,155 - Tuna. - Nope. 214 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,390 - Corned beef. - Nope. 215 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,675 Kiss and l'll tell. 216 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,638 l'll find out what l've got when l eat 'em, won't l? 217 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,759 Right, Karen, l'm late so l'm off. See you in the morning, sweetheart. 218 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,277 What are you hiding for? 219 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,549 What's she hiding for? 220 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,351 Oh, Jesus Christ, no. 221 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,431 No! 222 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,351 (Screaming) 223 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,196 - What? - He's gonna kill him! 224 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,836 - He's gonna kill him! - Who? 225 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,195 - (Crash and thud) - He's killed him. 226 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,154 Come back here, you little animals! 227 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,475 Round to ours. Top of the freezer. Two ice collars. 228 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,755 - Don't drop 'em. They can split. - Right. 229 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,752 Second cupboard above the sink - liquid ibuprofen. 230 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,308 freeze spray and microthermal bandages. 231 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,675 - Shouldn't he get it X-rayed? - Grow up. 232 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,116 He'll be there till midnight. ''Submetatarsal haematoma.'' 233 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,192 ''Yeah, cheers, we knew that five hours back.'' Fuck off. 234 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:37,637 Microthermal bandages sizes eight and ten. Could need either so bring both. 235 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,473 - Right. - And front bedroom, top of the video... 236 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,120 - Yeah? - ..fags and lighter. 237 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,111 - (Knocking) - l'm not here! 238 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,111 Argh! 239 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,714 Just say we're out or you've never heard of us. 240 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,916 What have you done? 241 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,591 Get back up the stairs. 242 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,469 Can l get through here? 243 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,596 - Hey? - Washer-dryer. 244 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,477 Not me. 245 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,995 - Gallagher, number 2? - Yeah. But it's not ours. 246 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,309 Where the fuck are you going with them? 247 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,552 - Veronica wants them. - Chuck us one over here. 248 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,874 (Radio alarm) 249 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,439 (Makes trumpet sound) 250 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,156 Right. 251 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,349 - l thought you'd no money. - We haven't. 252 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,476 These were inside it. 253 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,716 ''Steve.'' 254 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,518 - No! - Yeah. 255 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,114 - Who's Steve? - Other night. 256 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,156 - Never! - l know! 257 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,836 - You haven't got a vase. - No. 258 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,718 - Can l have them for doing Lip's leg? - No. 259 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,429 Just button it and follow me, will you? 260 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,193 - l am! Fucking hell. - Stop pulling it back. 261 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,875 - l'm not pulling it back! - l'm taking the strain on it, aren't l? 262 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,839 (Debbie) Lip! Watch how many l can do. Look. Look! 263 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:04,471 15 years, l've done everything in my power to... What did l tell you? 264 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,678 Sow and thou shalt reap. Well, she didn't reap that from me, did she? 265 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,036 Reap what? What are you reaping now? 266 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,549 Eddie, what if l try? Really try? 267 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,870 Mum, don't beg him! 268 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,269 lf the bastard can do this, he's not worth it. 269 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,669 - You watch your mouth. - Get fucked! 270 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,115 Don't try blaming me for this! 271 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,033 You're your own worst enemies, you two. 272 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:35,033 They say bad things come in threes. They don't. Twos. You twos. 273 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,839 Now let me in or l'll tear this door off. 274 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,911 (Karen) Sod off! 275 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,675 (Mobile phone) 276 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,955 (Fiona) 'How much have you paid for it?' 277 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,838 Erm...l'm not gonna tell you that. 278 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,276 'lt was a present so you'd remember my phone number.' 279 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,999 Which obviously worked. 280 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,834 Your washer-dryer's in the back yard. We don't want it, l don't need it. 281 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,912 - So pick it up before it rots. - 'ls it?' 282 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,470 - Well, no. - Did the guy connect it? 283 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,357 Yes. 284 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,909 - 'So it's working?' - Yes. 285 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,951 So you've tried it. 286 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,270 - Smell your breath. - Fuck off. 287 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,196 - Pork scratchings. - No, it's not. 288 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,116 They were mine. 289 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,476 See? l wouldn't mind but scratchings aren't scratchings 290 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,676 and they've never seen no pork. 291 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,876 lan, l pay your wages. 292 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,839 lf you catch him letting me down, you'd better be straight on the mobile. 293 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,797 Message received. 294 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,348 lf you're not at that mosque by midnight, 295 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,635 you'll be in deep shit with your dad. 296 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:09,157 - See you later, light of my life. - l mean it. We're all watching you. 297 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,276 See you at home. 298 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,197 Can you earn your money while you're taking the piss? 299 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,959 Now you know what l feel like. 300 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,869 Quit whingeing. 301 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,829 Drink more. 302 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,434 (Laughs) 303 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,073 Mum, we've got to wear our shoes. There's bits of glass you can't see. 304 00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:23,759 - (Lip) Cheers. - Maybe Lip could do with a drink. 305 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,268 Yes, sorry, Lip. lt's been a bit of an off day today, hasn't it, Karen? 306 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:32,318 So. Vodka, some tonic. 307 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,914 Plenty of rum but we're out of blackcurrant. 308 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,036 - And gin. - Just coffee, Mum. 309 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,590 - (Tearfully) And a few lagers. - Lager would be great. Cheers. 310 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,991 - What if your dad comes back? - He won't. 311 00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,275 - That's my fault. - He's been looking for an excuse. 312 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,550 Thanks. 313 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,834 So, erm...what kind of impression did you get of lan? 314 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,195 He seems nice. 315 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,317 - Hard? - Couldn't tell. He didn't say much. 316 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,311 No, l mean... 317 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:23,635 - Did he get a hard-on? - No. 318 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:47,796 (Panting and moaning) 319 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,036 (Man) Shh! Shh! Shh! 320 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,632 Count the crisps again, lan, and this time do it proper. 321 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,110 And l'll do the peanuts, all right? Jeez! Lip. 322 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,829 Just, er... Cheers for the tools, Kash. 323 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,480 Any time, eh? So long as l get 'em back. 324 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,677 - So orange juice. Let's count... - Two bottles. 325 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,149 (Lip) Jesus Christ. 326 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,708 Tell me you are taking the piss. 327 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,519 You're fucking him? 328 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,670 Him?! 329 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,548 (Lip) Kash bought you the trainers, didn't he? 330 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,233 He's married. With kids. 331 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,114 - What else does he buy you? - Just stuff now and again. 332 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,668 And you're happy with that? 333 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,471 Eh? 334 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,509 What does that make you? 335 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,477 A fucking rent boy at best. 336 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,109 Listen to me, bollock brains. You crack on you know everything. 337 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,239 And you know what? Ask me what l've bought him. Go on. Ask me. 338 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,551 Two Man United shirts, home and away, 339 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,632 limited edition Beckham shin pads for Christmas. 340 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,996 So what does that make you, Lip, eh? What does that make you? 341 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,789 Wrong, that's what, you smart arse, short arse fuck. 342 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,953 So go round there now and promise Kash you'll keep your mouth shut. 343 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,635 Cos he's shitting himself and he's done nothing - understand? - 344 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,995 absolutely fuck all to be sorry for. 345 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,072 Fake Muslim cheats on white fundamentalist wife 346 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,071 with gutless gay boy. 347 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,475 Says more about United fans than it does about the rest of us. 348 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,233 (Music drowns out conversation) 349 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,835 - Tell me you haven't got a girl pregnant. - No danger. 350 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,878 Not if that's all you end up being to your kids. 351 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:52,231 - Did he give you your dinner money? - No, l'll pay it myself. 352 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,311 No, you won't. 353 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,471 There you go. 354 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,751 You must be sick of having to think for everybody. 355 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,232 At least l can, so it makes me feel wanted. 356 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,313 lf the best you're aiming for is wanting to be wanted, 357 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,075 you've a job for life with that clown, Fiona. 358 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,071 Night. 359 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,112 (Mobile phone) 360 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,756 (Mobile phone continuing) 361 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,554 - Hello. - What was l wearing? 362 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,712 - 'Wearing?' - The first time you saw me. 363 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:25,430 'You were wearing a pink top and black trousers. 364 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,156 'Cropped black trousers. 365 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,995 'And you had dangling earrings. Just one earring. 366 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,355 'lt was a long, thin dazzler. 367 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:41,356 'And you had your hair up in these little clips. These rosy clip things. 368 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:45,228 'And you were dancing next to a red-haired girl in a green dress.' 369 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,710 Gemma. Who's a lot better looking than l am. 370 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,633 - 'You reckon?' - So why weren't you looking at her? 371 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,517 Because you think like that and Gemma doesn't. 372 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,878 Gemma's dancing for an audience and you're dancing like there's nobody there. 373 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,839 Your life's not straightforward and a bit of that travels with you 374 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,434 but you don't stop it showing. 375 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,273 'You're not fake. You're not vain. 376 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,635 'You're not lost so you don't need finding. 377 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,473 'You're not trapped so you don't need springing. 378 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,512 'This town belongs to the fucking Gemmas of this world 379 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,956 'and l'm sick of the fucking sight of them.' 380 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:29,352 'l swear to God, Fiona, you're just... You make me want to enjoy my life.' 381 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,509 l've lost mates because l talk too much. 382 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:38,310 But every time l try the opposite l get accused of sulking so... 383 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,392 Are you still there? Hello? Hello? 384 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,630 Hello? 385 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,472 (Steve) l knew you'd come. 386 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,313 People like you are used to getting your own way. 387 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,550 Who are people like me? 388 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,239 All right, agree or disagree. 389 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:20,593 - He thinks the sun shines out his arse. - Agree. 390 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,831 - He's overgenerous and that bugs me. - Agree. 391 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,196 Because l'm not used to being spoiled. 392 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,111 Agree. 393 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,272 Nevertheless, he's overeducated and he's got more money than sense. 394 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,033 - Your words, not mine. - But they fit. 395 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:38,869 Agree. 396 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,032 - He's had an easy life. - Definitely. 397 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,588 And l prefer a bloke who's been around a bit. 398 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,272 Maybe. 399 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,830 - l can't help my upbringing. - l'm not apologising for mine. 400 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,434 Was l asking you to? 401 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,080 - (Waitress) Finished? - No. 402 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,839 No, we're working on it. 403 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,638 Please. 404 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:04,598 Do you want to wait outside while l take care of the bill? 405 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,955 You can smoke there. 406 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,354 Sure. 407 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,071 Can l borrow your lighter? 408 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,279 - Time to get your jacket, sir? - Mm. 409 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,392 Yeah, it is. 410 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,273 (Classical music) 411 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,759 Mr and Mrs Pace. You all right? 412 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,798 How are you? Lovely to have you back again. 413 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,632 - Enjoy your meal. - Thank you. 414 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,076 (Mobile phone) 415 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,076 Hello. 416 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,038 (Steve) 'You seem a bit confused about how l pay my way. 417 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:23,477 'Well, you're the last person in the world l need to confuse so here we go. 418 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,997 'l don't buy and sell cars, l just sell them. 419 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,311 'But they're not mine. 420 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,630 'Satisfied?' 421 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,036 No. 422 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:41,511 They're really nice. They're really old. They'll be dead soon. 423 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,354 Look, he has beef, gets blind drunk and swears a lot. 424 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,515 'She can't drive so he tears home pissed.' 425 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:53,479 l'll be doing everybody a favour by just taking them off the road. 426 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,552 'Come on. Do you fancy a laugh or not, Fiona?' 427 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,796 This car's mine. 428 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,193 Sounds like they're all in bed. 429 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,438 Gotcha. 430 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,279 Who's been eating my porridge, then? 431 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,151 Hiya, Dad. 432 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,196 - This is Steve. - We've met but you... 433 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,431 - How much do you weigh? - Wouldn't know. 434 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,512 - That'd fit me. - lgnore him. 435 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,956 Shift! 436 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,037 Listen, l better get off and let you get to bed, all right? 437 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,270 Thanks. 438 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,590 That was really nice. 439 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,796 You too. 440 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,397 What l want to know... 441 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:42,190 Who...signed...for this? 442 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,034 - What the fuck's he on? - l think he bought Es. 443 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,635 The only dealer he gets credit from is a registered schizophrenic. 444 00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:08,918 lt's not a case of whether l agree, Steve. lt's a fact. 445 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,753 - lf l was a single parent... - Aren't you? 446 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,910 Yeah, but if l had tits. 447 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,232 Yeah, but if l had tits, Steve, they'd double the money. 448 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,279 - With a bloke they don't fucking know. - l get it, Frank, l get it. 449 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,557 - lt's ''Prove you're looking for work.'' - And the rest. 450 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:29,349 What was World War ll about if blokes like me are still getting shit? 451 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,716 Not ''How's a guy supposed to find work with kids this age?'' 452 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,870 Correct. Hello! 453 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,240 Oh! Good show. Well done. 454 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,199 - Cos her mum, God rest her soul... - Dad, don't start. 455 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,555 Cos she'd better be dead, the cunt. 456 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,519 - Cut it out! - A four-month-old baby, Steve. 457 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,989 A 16-year-old girl, just had her appendix out. 458 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,676 1 1-year-old Lip, 10-year-old lan, 7-year-old, 5-year-old. 459 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,991 Oh, and an Escort van, calypso blue. 460 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,395 What's the one thing we needed? 461 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,948 One word. One thing. 462 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,396 - Sterilisation. - Continuity. 463 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,038 Continuity. 464 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,749 One Tuesday, right, we're out of bread, so l send her down the shops. 465 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,637 She grabs the van keys. 466 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:23,759 l haven't seen it since. And we haven't a fucking clue where she is, have we? 467 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,230 Eh? We... Oh, l fucking love this. 468 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,551 (Turns up the music volume) 469 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,831 So what could l do, Steve? What could l do? 470 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,195 Vanish for three weeks. 471 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,670 - l had a breakdown. - (Fiona) You went on a bender. 472 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,910 l had a nervous breakdown. 473 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,797 Fair enough. 474 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,155 - (Knocking) - Dad. 475 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:48,878 Keys. 476 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,876 - Do you know what time it is? - lt's Frank. 477 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,076 - What have l told you? - Oi! 478 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,790 (Frank) Eh! Here we go. Neighbours of Satan. 479 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:19,270 The day you pay rent, like some of us, Frank, 480 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,555 you can play whatever shit you want. 481 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,189 But till then, if you're pumpin' it at this time of night, 482 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,352 you play stuff that we like. 483 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,797 All right? 484 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,030 - Do you get it? - l get it. 485 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,951 Go on, get that down you. 486 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,674 (Loud music and raucous laughter) 487 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,355 He made me follow you up. 488 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,317 l know. 489 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,628 But he's right. You can't drive now. 490 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,352 But... 491 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,598 Liam is in here somewhere. 492 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,795 Don't the kids wake up? 493 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,710 Would you? 494 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,436 (Car alarm) 495 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,475 (Fiona) lan, come and have your breakfast. 496 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,797 - Have you seen lan? - He'd gone before l woke up. 497 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,916 His school uniform's not here neither. 498 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,510 - Good morning. - Good morning. 499 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,431 Give me this. 500 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,714 Tell me if you're not a morning person. 501 00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:45,871 lt's not something l've had much experience of. 502 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,354 First time for everything. 503 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,190 How can that be good for you? 504 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,711 - Or that. - Do you know what's not funny? 505 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,394 You. Ever. 506 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,350 Anybody before Kash? 507 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,875 - One. - Who? 508 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,757 l'm not telling you. 509 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,799 And actually...up the arse? 510 00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,314 Cos... Look, l'm not taking the piss. 511 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:04,916 l've come through a toilet roll. And that's just one finger. Barely up the ring. 512 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,389 Screamed the house down! 513 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,789 Do you get used to that? Can you? 514 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,794 The whole point of the digestive system is about one-way traffic. 515 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,876 lt just is. 516 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,235 What? 517 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,709 - What? - You! 518 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,072 ''lt just is.'' 519 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,757 Like we're only given lungs so we can fucking smoke. 520 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,993 (Singing oom-pah song) 521 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,676 - Sit yourselves down. Who's for bacon? - All right. 522 00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:55,908 (Boy) Yummy! 523 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,309 - What's all this? - Well, er... 524 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,073 Debbie's the only person that gets up earlier than me 525 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,197 so we shot off down to Apu's on the corner. 526 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:08,592 She said breakfast is her favourite meal of the day and since it's her birthday... 527 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,638 (Gasps) No, it's not! 528 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,757 l didn't say it was, it said l wished it was. 529 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,230 All right. Sorry, completely misheard that, Debs. 530 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,835 Perforated eardrum on the right. M'lady. 531 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,229 - Anyone else want a drink? - Who's for bacon? 532 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:29,199 You got 15 minutes tops. lan, Lip, your turn to wash up. 533 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,590 Debbie, Carl, you need to put them bins out. 534 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:37,071 (Frank) 'Somebody said, ''Show me a child before he's seven 535 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,310 '''and l'll show you the man.'' 536 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:42,472 'My problem with kids is they're only seven once. 537 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,791 'After that it's a fucking nightmare. Massive! 538 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:51,193 'One thing l'll say about my lot, though, they've been raised to show respect. 539 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:55,159 'And l like that. lt matters in our house.' 540 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,871 Has anyone seen Dad since last night? 541 00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:11,077 (Frank) 'Six kids to keep on top of.' 542 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,238 You can't file Frank as missing. He's always missing. 543 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,594 Ooh, that is tight. 544 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,115 Sorry. Was my dad in the pub this afternoon? 545 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,031 Yeah, he were there. Slaughtered. 546 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,190 How was he looking when you left him? 547 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,510 He can't be far. He's never far. 548 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:32,832 Police? l've just found a body exactly fitting Frank's description. 549 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,229 (Screaming) 550 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,315 You might be getting... 551 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,949 but you've got a long way to go before you can catch up with... 552 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,039 For fuck's sake! 42390

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