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1
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[Alarm buzzing]
2
00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:02,832
[Sighing]
3
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,438
Ow!
Ugh.
4
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:05,609
Ow, my back.
5
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:06,534
[Grunting]
6
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,528
Son of a gun.
7
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,190
Are you feeling old?
8
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,395
[Groaning]
9
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:15,323
He's just an old man, Deborah.
Don't worry about him.
10
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,449
[Groaning]
11
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,631
I'm not a young man anymore.
12
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,017
I'm old.
I know that.
13
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,280
I see it in the mirror
every day.
14
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:26,423
I've got aches and pains,
fuckin' hair falling out
15
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:29,417
of my head like some sort
of goddamn witch's curse.
16
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,340
I'm a dogshit old man.
17
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,336
Dogshit.
18
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,987
The kids see me on the
street and they scream,
19
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,862
thinking I've laid
a curse on them.
20
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,914
Mayhaps I have.
21
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:45,350
Mayhaps I've cursed them with
the knowledge of what's to come.
22
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:48,179
All I know is I can't
turn back the clock.
23
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:50,268
Of course, there's one
other thing I know,
24
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,007
and that's... good coffee.
25
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,578
And this, my friends,
is good coffee
26
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:56,575
from the hills of
Peru to your cup.
27
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:59,358
[Slurping]
28
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,243
Christ on the cross,
that's a good brew.
29
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,146
Morning, Gar, have
you seen my new mug yet?
30
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,683
You see, it says
31
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:11,027
"Carpe Coffee. And then I'll
get around to the Diem."
32
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,247
Isn't that such a scream?
33
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,806
I don't understand what that...
34
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:16,342
"Carpe Diem."
Seize the day.
35
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,597
Seize the...
36
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:18,469
Oh, seize the coffee and then
we'll get around to the...
37
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,909
That's a long...
That's a long way to go.
38
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,166
Right.
39
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,479
Okay, anyway, I've got
a new case for you.
40
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,695
The victim's a student
at the local high school
41
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,995
named Jesse Fultz.
42
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,960
Apparently he overdosed
on a new drug
43
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,829
going around the
school called D.
44
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,140
Tell him, Marito.
45
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,136
It's got demon qualities
written all over it.
46
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,968
I gave it to some lab rats
and they went crazy, dawg.
47
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,007
And then "boom!"
They went into a coma.
48
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,282
So, what, you want me
to go undercover
49
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,055
and pretend I'm a teen
and find the drugs?
50
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,839
'Cause news flash, guys,
I'm a bit old for that.
51
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,503
I'm a dogshit-ass old man,
just like the ad says.
52
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,458
Uh, what ad?
53
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,627
Oh, I saw that ad.
The coffee from Peru?
54
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,243
Yeah.
55
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:56,293
Well, regardless of this, you
know, you are going undercover.
56
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,940
But in a special way.
57
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,253
Marito has combined some
shapeshifter serum
58
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,511
with a little D.N.A.
from Jesse here.
59
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,303
You're gonna be Jesse.
Isn't that a blast?
60
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,869
I guess it'll beat being me.
61
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:07,945
Sorry?
62
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,043
Oh, nothing.
63
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:09,741
Just muttering a
little cry for help.
64
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:10,778
Let's do it!
65
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,702
Yeah!
Yeah!
66
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,227
Mr. Fultz, welcome back.
67
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,316
Oh, uh... thanks. Yeah.
68
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,315
That's me.
Jesse... Jesse Fultz.
69
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,097
[boy]
Oh, my God. It's Jesse.
70
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,450
[girl]
Oh, wow. Jesse.
71
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:28,319
So last class, we spoke
about "Romeo and Juliet",
72
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:32,242
a play by... Curtis?
73
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,759
Oh, I know this.
I know this.
74
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,462
Uh... William.
75
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,980
William, yeah.
76
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,643
William... yes.
77
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:46,427
William... now for the
easy part of the name...
78
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:47,687
We thought you were
a goner, Jesse.
79
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:48,339
How you feeling?
80
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:49,952
Oh, um... better.
81
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,782
Sort of damaged my voice a bit,
but otherwise it's all good.
82
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,220
[Clearing throat]
83
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,566
Mr. Fultz, care to tell us
what's so interesting?
84
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,126
Uh... no.
85
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,273
I mean, we were just
talking about the play.
86
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,216
Oh, you were talking
about the play.
87
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,664
Yeah, you know.
88
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:05,270
And what exactly were
you saying about the play?
89
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,882
What were we saying
about the play?
90
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,142
Just... just classic
stuff you'd say.
91
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,934
You know, it's a
good, tight play.
92
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,059
Sweet.
Pretty sweet.
93
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,851
Um... a lot of fun stuff
happens in it.
94
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,795
"A good, tight play.
Pretty sweet.
95
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,374
Lots of fun stuff
happens in it."
96
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,592
Mr. Fultz, very insightful.
97
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,161
Should I write this
down on the board or...?
98
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,808
I see what you're doing here.
99
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,162
You're trying to humiliate me
in front of all of my friends.
100
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,511
You are humiliating yourself.
101
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,510
Oh, you know what?
102
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,031
I think you're putting
a lot of mustard on it.
103
00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,384
Maybe more than a
teacher should be doing.
104
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:32,394
I think you made the hot dog.
105
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,426
Okay.
Okay, you know what?
106
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,091
You caught me.
I haven't read the play.
107
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,385
Show of hands.
Show of hands.
108
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,521
Who hasn't read the play?
Get 'em up.
109
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:39,392
You don't have to
put your hands up.
110
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:40,183
Get 'em up.
Get 'em up.
111
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,566
Oh, look.
112
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:42,479
Okay, that's everyone in
the class, except for her.
113
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:43,613
Janet, you're a sweetheart.
114
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:46,884
Janet, what's your
favourite part about the play?
115
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,048
I didn't read it.
116
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,753
Oh, Janet didn't read it!
117
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:50,401
Janet, come on.
118
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,804
Janet didn't read it!
119
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,616
At the very least you have
to read the literature.
120
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:54,844
I don't know what to tell you.
121
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,933
Maybe you've got to look
at this curriculum.
122
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,632
Mr. Fultz, I've had quite
enough of your little show.
123
00:03:58,629 --> 00:03:59,979
Oh,
124
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:00,888
I know.
You want me out.
125
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,722
I'm gone.
126
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,629
I did see the
Leonardo DiCaprio movie.
127
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:04,334
Out!
128
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,641
It was good.
129
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,987
Holy shit, Jesse,
that was incredible.
130
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:10,287
Oh, thanks.
131
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,213
Yeah, you know, I've
always wanted to stand up
132
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,727
to a teacher like that.
133
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:13,690
They don't have any real power,
you know what I mean?
134
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:14,858
It's crazy.
135
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,133
Well, if it isn't the
new class clown.
136
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,206
Oh, "ha, ha."
137
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,484
Is that what you are, Jesse?
138
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,646
Oh, my God.
Are you a bully?
139
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:21,871
Am I about to get bullied?
140
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,570
Okay, I'm ready.
I'm actually ready now.
141
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:25,868
Let's do it.
Bully me.
142
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,964
You know, there's something
different about you, you nerd.
143
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,233
You know, and it isn't just your
weird, scruffy voice.
144
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,446
Well, uh, I do feel like
145
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,706
I've felt more
confident since...
146
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:36,189
Is his mom alive, do you know?
147
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:36,968
Yeah, his mom's alive.
148
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,892
Since I fucked your mom, pal!
Ayo!
149
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,497
My mom's a saint,
you little shit!
150
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,757
I'm gonna fucking
break your face.
151
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:43,150
Come here!
152
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,682
[Grunting]
153
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,715
Holy crap, this body
moves so good.
154
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:47,241
[Whooping]
155
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,683
My nose!
156
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,899
It better not be broken
for picture day, nerd.
157
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:54,029
You're gonna pay for this.
You'll all pay, all of you.
158
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:55,952
You're gonna pay.
You're definitely gonna pay!
159
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:56,377
All of you!
160
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,993
Right on, man!
161
00:04:57,993 --> 00:05:00,043
Well, we're gonna skip next
class and go drink at my place.
162
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,428
Wanna come?
163
00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:02,691
Well, I'm
technically working.
164
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,483
I mean, you know, going to
school, doing schoolwork,
165
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,218
so I should keep doing that.
166
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,128
But you're only
young once, right?
167
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,573
Or twice.
168
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,700
And if you get a second shot
you shouldn't ruin it.
169
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:14,492
Don't worry about it.
Let's go get lit!
170
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,360
Ow!
Ugh, my back pain is back.
171
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,751
Okay, come on,
Marito, put it in me.
172
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:20,844
I'm supposed to meet Taylor
and Simone before school
173
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,972
so we can copy each
other's homework,
174
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,724
like any of us did it.
175
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:27,195
Gary, are you any closer
to finding the drug source?
176
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,146
You've been at this school
for almost two weeks.
177
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,814
I know, I know.
I'm close.
178
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:33,068
You know, I mean technically
I haven't started looking yet,
179
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,031
but I'm getting the lay of the
land and Taylor and Simone
180
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,160
are introducing me to, like,
tonnes of cool teens.
181
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:40,602
I met Randal, and Stacy, and
Chloe, who Taylor's got
182
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,951
a crazy crush on, which is
making Simone so jealous.
183
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,001
Like, she's obviously
in love with Taylor
184
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,076
but she won't admit it.
185
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,264
I don't even know if they'd
make a good couple,
186
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,869
but they owe it to themselves
to find out, I think.
187
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:49,870
Yeah, Gary...
188
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,051
Uh... Jesse.
189
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,397
No, I'm not gonna do that.
190
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,176
Gary, you are not
there to hang out.
191
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,310
Just find the drugs, okay?
192
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,623
[Imitating Leslie]
193
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,800
Okay, come on, Marito,
make me young.
194
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,706
Yeah, here we go, Gar.
195
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:04,801
[Gary]
You guys stoked for that party tonight?
196
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:05,889
I know I am.
197
00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:06,797
I'm so excited!
198
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:07,891
Yeah?
199
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,109
Hey, my dad's gonna
hook us up with beer again.
200
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:09,977
Dude, that's unreal.
Sweet!
201
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,238
Pretty epic, yeah.
202
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,500
This party is gonna be so much
better than the last one.
203
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,553
Oh, yeah?
What happened at the last one?
204
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,459
Curtis and his
idiot friends crashed it.
205
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,864
Oh.
206
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,156
But we won't have to
worry about that tonight.
207
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,862
Oh, no?
Why not?
208
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:22,559
What?
You didn't hear?
209
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,036
Curtis overdosed
on D last night.
210
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,205
He's in a coma.
211
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,651
Why do you think all his dumb
friends are crying and hugging.
212
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:29,999
[Sobbing]
213
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:30,998
Curtis...
214
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,129
Before picture day...
215
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,220
Oh, geez, I sort of
thought this whole drug thing
216
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,309
had kind of dried up.
217
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,787
Jesse, you all right, man?
218
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,347
Oh, yeah, no, sorry.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
219
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,924
I'm good.
I was just...
220
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,231
What you guys were saying got
me thinking about some stuff
221
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,876
I'm supposed to be doing.
222
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,800
But what's done is done.
223
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,275
You can't change the past,
you know what I mean?
224
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,355
We're gonna have a
fun party tonight.
225
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,453
Hell, yeah, we are.
226
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:49,631
How old was Curtis?
Don't tell me.
227
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,406
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna know!
228
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,071
[Kids]
Go, go, go, go!
229
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:56,285
[Whooping]
230
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,025
Taylor!
This party rules, man.
231
00:06:58,026 --> 00:06:59,506
Thanks, Jesse.
232
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,586
You know, I think I've figured
out the secret to life.
233
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,864
If you just avoid the crap
you don't want to do,
234
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,687
you can just keep
having fun forever.
235
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,945
No one can stop you,
you know what I'm saying?
236
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:07,908
You said it, man.
237
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:10,205
Hey, you guys want to
crank this party up?
238
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,612
All right!
239
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,475
Yes!
240
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,516
Oh, uh, listen, if you guys
are gonna try to do like
241
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,572
a threesome with me, I'm
flattered, but you're 16 and...
242
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:21,048
I'm 16, too, obviously.
I'm totally 16.
243
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,829
But for reasons that aren't
about age difference,
244
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:23,533
I should bow out.
245
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,100
Come here, Charlie.
Come here.
246
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:25,746
[Squeaking]
247
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:26,839
[Gary]
What the hell is that?
248
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,837
This is what made those drugs
you overdosed on.
249
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,489
We found it in the woods
a couple months ago.
250
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,763
Wait, you made those drugs?
251
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:32,885
I mean, no...
252
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,407
I mean... I knew that,
because you gave them to me
253
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,020
because I'm Jesse, obviously.
254
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,280
Boy, that coma really did a
number on the old memory, huh?
255
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,333
We're sorry you O.D.'d, Jesse.
256
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,809
But we told you not
to do that much.
257
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:42,979
And, look, when we
sell them to people,
258
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,864
we tell them how much to do...
well, in most cases.
259
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,726
[Laughing]
260
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:48,728
Unsettling.
261
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:49,469
Now, come on, man.
262
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:54,559
I feel like my
duty here is to...
263
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,081
Ah, fuck it.
Let's do it.
264
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,264
Teen friends forever!
265
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,219
[Whooping]
266
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,646
[Rock music playing]
267
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:02,443
[Gary]
♪ I love being a teen again!
268
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:05,348
♪ I love shirking
responsibilities! ♪
269
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,314
♪ I love living the
life that I ♪
270
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:10,712
♪ was always
meant to lead! ♪
271
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:16,367
♪ I wanna oh, oh, oh!
I wanna oh, oh, oh! ♪
272
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:20,275
♪ Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh! ♪
273
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,242
♪ I wanna oh, oh, oh!
274
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:28,031
♪ Teen again!
275
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,289
♪ I love being a teen...!
276
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,032
Jesse!
Jesse!
277
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,603
You okay, man?
278
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,730
Jesse, your face.
It's, like, changing.
279
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,912
Oh, crap.
280
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,687
The drug must be messing
with my shapeshifter serum.
281
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,692
What?
282
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,613
What.
Oh.
283
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,997
Oh, nothing.
Nothing, man.
284
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:42,959
Oh, I gotta go pee.
285
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,347
So I'm just gonna go real quick.
Real quick.
286
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,180
Hey, hey, you're not
going anywhere.
287
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:46,917
Taylor...
288
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:47,827
[Taylor]
I know you.
289
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:48,701
No.
290
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:49,832
You're that demon hunter
from the news.
291
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,273
No, no, I'm Jesse.
I've just gotta pee.
292
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:53,490
Good lord, guys.
293
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,929
Listen: Am I the real Jesse?
Technically no.
294
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:58,796
But the real Jesse was
a turd... presumably.
295
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,239
I never met him, but the guy
you had so much fun with
296
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,586
these past few weeks was me.
297
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:05,585
So how about I don't arrest you
or tell anyone what I saw here,
298
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,418
and you keep quiet about my
real identity and we'll just
299
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,156
keep hanging out and being
teen friends forever.
300
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,937
No way, you old pervert.
301
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,251
I'm not a pervert!
302
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,027
I'm just an old man who found
a way to experience the joys
303
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,291
of a young man's body.
304
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,083
Grab him, Taylor!
305
00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,947
Oh, crap.
306
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:20,728
Guys, calm down.
Please don't make me do this.
307
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,214
Why are you strong?
You're old.
308
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:25,523
Guys, just promise you'll
be cool and I'll let you go.
309
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,221
I just want to keep being young!
310
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:27,828
I'm gonna kill you.
311
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,868
I just wanna keep being young!
312
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,484
[Leslie]
Well, think of it this way, Gary.
313
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:35,624
You saved a lot of teens
from a lot of comas.
314
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,058
I had it, Leslie.
The perfect life.
315
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,485
Well, you were living someone
else's life, Gary, so...
316
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,322
Yeah, but I was living it
better than he ever could.
317
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,500
You hear me, Jesse?
318
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:45,275
I was a better Jesse
than you'll ever be.
319
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,670
Gary, take it easy.
320
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:47,853
You're lucky,
you little bastard.
321
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:48,808
While you were napping,
322
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:49,805
I was making you the
coolest kid in school.
323
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,366
You're probably going to
go back and ruin it all,
324
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,943
you fucking waste.
325
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:56,290
Gary, Jesse actually lost about
95% of his brain capacity
326
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,291
and will never be
the same person...
327
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,473
Marito, Marito,
let's say hypothetically
328
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,078
I could get some teen D.N.A.
329
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,208
I know how that sounds, but
stick with me, it's not gross.
330
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:06,211
Would you be willing to turn
me into a teen for a bit...
331
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,484
Hell no, Gary.
332
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:07,956
For a bit.
Just a for a bit.
333
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:08,775
No!
334
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:09,482
For a couple hours a week.
335
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:10,568
You're a grown man.
336
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:11,866
For a couple hours a week!
337
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:12,832
You can't be a teen!
338
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,659
Well, Leslie, do you
have any other cases,
339
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,007
even an elementary
school maybe?
340
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:16,696
An elementary school.
341
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,443
[Marito]
Oh, God, you gotta stop.
342
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,103
No, we're not going younger.
343
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:19,786
[Marito]
You need to stop.
344
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,923
Okay, you know what?
Fuck that.
345
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,454
I'm injecting myself.
Is this teen?
346
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,227
No, don't, don't!
No!
347
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,542
Gary, that's rat D.N.A.!
348
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,277
Oh, shit, am I going rat?
349
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,627
That's rat D.N.A.!
350
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,577
[Groaning]
351
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,854
Oh, prepare yourself!
Oh, God!
352
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:31,627
[Groaning]
353
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,021
Oh, my God!
354
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,683
Gary!
It's a tail!
355
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,237
Oh...
356
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,034
It looks like a...
357
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:39,157
Oh.
Aw, he's so cute!
358
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:39,640
You motherfuckers!
359
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,809
[Leslie]
Oh, I love him.
360
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:41,474
He's so cute!
361
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:42,946
I'm gonna put him in my pocket.
362
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,686
You motherfuckers!
363
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:49,286
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