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1
00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,389
[Chris]
Oh, and it's a huge slam dunk, and a timeout.
2
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:04,964
I'm Chris Straightman,
and with me as always
3
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,831
is John "Mr. Positive" Hanson.
4
00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:09,142
Mr. Positive, this team
is getting stomped.
5
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,579
What can they do
to turn it around?
6
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,355
Well, Chris, anytime you
got 10 guys on the court,
7
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:16,281
fans in the stands, two hoops,
and a coach at either bench,
8
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,537
it's hard not to say,
"That's basketball!"
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,891
[Chris]
Well, as always, 10% information and 90% personality from John.
10
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,982
And we are under way here as...
11
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,641
Oh, no!
12
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:27,975
Some sort of demon
has rushed the court
13
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:30,644
and taken the referee's arms.
14
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,419
There he is!
15
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,682
[Hanley]
Take 'em, Gar!
16
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,824
Gary takes the court and boom!
17
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,037
Ka-boom!
18
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,557
[Grunting]
19
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,480
[Hissing]
20
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,735
Oh, hell, yes.
21
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,648
T-shirt giveaway.
22
00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:46,053
[Exclaiming]
23
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,526
[Buzzer sounding]
24
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:50,085
Wow, these things are an
accident waiting to happen.
25
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,103
Any last words, you
little motherfucker?
26
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:56,226
Fleshler says, "Hi."
27
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:56,970
[Bones crunching]
28
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,189
[Chris]
What a twist.
29
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,098
The demon killing himself
after a hard-fought battle.
30
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:04,333
[John]
I'll say it again, Chris. This is basketball!
31
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,235
[Chris]
No, it is not.
32
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:16,466
So who's this Fleshler guy that
demon was talking about, Gar?
33
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,027
Hanley, have I ever told
you about the day I asked
34
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,604
Janine to marry me?
35
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:20,251
[Gasping]
36
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,344
No.
37
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,262
Well, the year was 1999.
38
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,698
Could you give a message
to my kids for me?
39
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,215
Janine and I were inseparable.
40
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:35,049
Before we fight, Mr. Code, have
you ever heard of... philosophy?
41
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,751
Tell me.
42
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,578
[Whispering]
43
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:39,526
[Laughing]
44
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,714
Oh, my God!
45
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:46,151
What are you
talking about?
46
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,719
That was the worst movie
I've ever seen in my life.
47
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,586
Okay, I'm not saying it was the
best movie I've ever seen,
48
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,757
but I really, really liked it.
49
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,292
What's wrong with that?
50
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,326
What did you like about it?
51
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,250
I liked when everything
slowed down in time
52
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,506
and then you could
see everything.
53
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,598
Code time.
54
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,946
You like when it went
into code time?
55
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:00,685
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
56
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,165
What?
57
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,115
I think that dog is rescreening
your favourite part
58
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:03,993
of the movie right now.
59
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,823
What?
Oh, Gary, come on.
60
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,871
Don't make me look at that.
61
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,165
I think that dog's in code time.
62
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,611
Oh, my God.
63
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,737
Look how long it's taking
for it to push that shit
64
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,740
out of its ass.
65
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:15,441
That actually looks...
Oh, that dog's not well.
66
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:15,959
Oh, man.
67
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,091
What do you wanna do now?
68
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,403
Um...
[Gasping]
69
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,919
Okay.
I know what to do.
70
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:20,622
Tell me.
71
00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:20,788
You know what to do.
72
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:21,532
Yes, I do.
73
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:21,972
We know what to do.
74
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:22,967
Yes, I do.
75
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,878
Swing dancing!
76
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:26,764
[Laughing]
77
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,185
Fucking losers!
78
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,411
♪ Swing music's back
and it's here to stay! ♪
79
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,541
♪ It's not a fad and
it's not a trend! ♪
80
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,853
♪ It's something
I've invested in! ♪
81
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,110
♪ Lots of money,
I'm in debt! ♪
82
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:38,383
♪ I'm in debt!
83
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,985
♪ So let's swing dance!
84
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,195
Those swing lessons
were the best investment
85
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,124
we ever made, baby.
86
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,638
You said it!
87
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,821
Swing music's back and
it's not going anywhere.
88
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,257
It's not going anywhere!
89
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,385
Oops.
Sorry about that.
90
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,646
You will be.
91
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,039
I...am?
92
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:53,912
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
93
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:54,572
What did you fucking say?
94
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,125
Gary...
95
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,261
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
96
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,443
I'm not gonna freak out.
I just wanna...
97
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,569
I just wanna know what he said,
and if he said what I think
98
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:02,791
he said, well, then, I'm going
to beat the shit out of him.
99
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,791
Okay, whoa, Gary.
100
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,012
I'll kill you and your bitch.
101
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,581
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me right now?
102
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,229
You had one ally
here, buddy.
103
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,673
Excuse me?
104
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,019
I was trying to play peacekeeper
here, you asshole.
105
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,718
She was on your side,
you fucking idiot.
106
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,016
What are you gonna do about it?
107
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,241
What am I gonna do about it?
108
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,461
Oh, you're demons.
109
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,810
Well, that actually
changes a bit.
110
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:22,810
Beat his ass, Gary.
111
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,161
Yes, I will.
I will.
112
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,600
Calm down.
Holy shit.
113
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,726
Okay, Janine, you wanna lay
down the ground rules?
114
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,859
Rule number one: the
fight has already started.
115
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,602
[Grunting]
116
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,483
What a team.
The bait-and-switch.
117
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,515
Distracter and the ball kicker.
An unstoppable duo.
118
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,171
Yeah.
119
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,394
And away we go!
120
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,534
♪ Well, my wife
doesn't know ♪
121
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,525
♪ that I mortgaged
the house! ♪
122
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:45,046
♪ To fund our
latest album! ♪
123
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,100
♪ She'd leave me
if she knew! ♪
124
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,356
♪ She'd take the kids...!
125
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,968
Janine, you want to say
something now?
126
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:51,268
Table for one.
127
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,544
Uh... you wanna try...
128
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,626
You wanna try
just one more time?
129
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,705
Um... this guy's cut off.
130
00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,894
Oh, yeah!
Yes!
131
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,110
There it is!
132
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:03,329
Ha!
Yep.
133
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:08,200
Fleshler will find out
about this.
134
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,774
Whatever that means.
135
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,862
All right, how'd I do, baby?
136
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,341
You were okay.
I think I was pretty good.
137
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,132
Yes, you were.
You were good.
138
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:19,687
Yeah, even when I was
fighting demons,
139
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,134
Janine made everything
feel good.
140
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:27,791
But that was nothing compared to
our chemistry in... the bedroom.
141
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,309
[Moaning]
142
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,973
Oh, Gary.
143
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,708
I love you, Janine.
144
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,099
I love you, Gar.
145
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:42,242
[Moaning]
146
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:46,018
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
147
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,034
oh, my God!
148
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,766
Gary!
Gary, enough!
149
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:50,507
We were humping like this.
150
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,067
We were sort of
humping like this.
151
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,423
We were like...
[Grunting]
152
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,033
Yeah, okay, Gary.
I get the picture.
153
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,773
You made love.
154
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:57,824
That's right, Hanley.
155
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:58,339
We did it all.
156
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,341
Her on top.
Me on top.
157
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,563
69, 96, that's when the back of
your head touches her calves,
158
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,574
you're kind of like,
"Is this sex?"
159
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,956
Finally we finished,
and then right back to it.
160
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,491
And we were like, "Oh, my God!
Oh, my..."
161
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:13,526
Gary!
Please!
162
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,750
Enough!
163
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,929
Let the man tell his story.
164
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,615
The next morning
should have kicked off
165
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,712
the best day of my life.
166
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:23,711
Instead it was the worst.
167
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:27,024
Janine, wake up!
168
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:32,592
Time for French toast
with a side of forever.
169
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:36,863
Janine?
170
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:39,948
[Fleshler]
"Dear Gary, I have your girlfriend."
171
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:49,388
[Sinister laughing]
172
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:57,532
[Laughing continues]
173
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,231
"Ok.
174
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,528
I guess that's it."
175
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,234
[Clearing throat]
176
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,410
"Yours, Fleshler."
177
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:07,237
Janine!
178
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,316
[Terry]
Hey!
179
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,244
[Banging]
180
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,198
Some of us are trying to sleep.
181
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,016
Fuck you, Terry!
It's noon.
182
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,204
Get a job.
183
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,070
[Terry]
I've been looking.
184
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,993
Turns out Fleshler was some
hot new demon on the scene
185
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,858
who owned a club downtown.
186
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:30,000
Old Gary was going clubbing.
187
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:34,438
Excuse me, does this
door lead into F Club?
188
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,047
Yeah, that feels like a yes.
189
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:38,876
Whoa!
Oh!
190
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:39,786
I don't know what they're
playing in there,
191
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,620
but out here it's
chin music, baby.
192
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,360
I guess that one's just for me. Okay.
193
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,502
[Dance music blaring]
194
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:52,145
All right, Fleshler,
where are you hiding?
195
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,504
Ah, crap.
196
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,164
[Fleshler]
You got him? Ooh, that's good news.
197
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,808
Darvon, do you mind going
and checking downstairs
198
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,033
and seeing how it's
going down there?
199
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,823
Ooh, and while you're down
there, do you mind grabbing me
200
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:10,597
one of those um... flesh juices
from the fridge?
201
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,824
They're so good.
Should I, though?
202
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,433
No, yes.
Get me one.
203
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,914
Get me a flesh juice
from the fridge,
204
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,483
just one of the ones
on the bottom ones.
205
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,790
The diet ones.
206
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:19,956
And Janine, do you...
Do you want anything?
207
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,051
Fuck you.
208
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,529
Okay, so yeah, just the
flesh juice for me then.
209
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,230
So here's what I'm thinking.
210
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,968
Holy guacamole!
211
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:28,749
Gary!
212
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,102
Janine!
Oh, thank God.
213
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,281
Fuck him up, Gary.
214
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:32,276
I'm gonna.
I'm gonna.
215
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,277
I'm gonna kick his
goddamn dick off.
216
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,459
Easy, chosen one.
217
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,495
We don't want anyone
losing their heads.
218
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,630
[Laughing]
219
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,762
Do you think Darvon's
actually okay?
220
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,904
You really kicked
the shit out of him.
221
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,897
That is nothing
compared to what I...
222
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:47,289
What you'll do to
me, yes, right.
223
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,642
I can't blame you.
224
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,642
I did kidnap your
girlfriend on the day
225
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,994
you were going to propose.
226
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:54,473
Hey, man, come on!
What the f...
227
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,214
Gary, you... you were?
228
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,304
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
229
00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,872
He put the ring in
some French toast.
230
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:00,440
Don't.
231
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:00,916
[Fleshler]
It was so cute.
232
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,605
[Groaning]
233
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,482
I worry about, you know, choking
and that kind of thing but...
234
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,663
No one was going to choke.
235
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,528
Well, you could have.
236
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:11,839
Listen, I'm a reasonable demon.
All I want is to protect my kin.
237
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:15,319
So, chosen one, give me
your sword and walk away.
238
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,370
I'll make sure you're never
hassled by demons again.
239
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,067
That is the Fleshler guarantee.
240
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,145
Gary, no.
241
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:22,983
[Fleshler]
Come on.
242
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,810
A life of peace
with the one you love
243
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:28,378
or a pointless existence
battling demons... alone.
244
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,897
No.
Keep your sword, Gary.
245
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,470
Please, the world's more
important than I am.
246
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,908
Janine, I respectfully disagree.
247
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,337
[Sighing]
248
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,044
Ooh, right on!
249
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,702
Janine, just out of curiosity,
250
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:45,916
what would you have said
to Gary's proposal?
251
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,476
Yes.
252
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:47,312
Aw.
253
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,829
Aw, that is so cool.
254
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,753
That's nice.
How's that feel, Gary?
255
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,618
Pretty good I bet.
256
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,140
I love a "yes."
257
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:57,194
[Grunting]
258
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,358
[Screaming]
259
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,283
[Fleshler]
How's that feel? Yeah, feels good to me!
260
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,888
Wow, that was awesome.
261
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,851
Okay.
262
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,720
Nighty-night, Gary boy.
263
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,097
[Screaming]
264
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:55,247
I rushed Janine to the hospital,
but by then it was too late.
265
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,376
I didn't even get a
chance to say goodbye.
266
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,599
Jeez, Gary.
267
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,599
I'm so sorry, buddy.
268
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,041
Is that the first time
you ever...
269
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,467
Controlled anything
with my mind?
270
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,393
Sure was.
271
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,038
First and last.
272
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,042
Right, well...
273
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,793
I mean, regardless of
what this demon said,
274
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,655
there's no way Fleshler
could be back.
275
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,436
You killed him.
I mean, he's dead.
276
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,310
I hope you're right, Hanley.
277
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,102
If there's one thing I've
learned about these demons,
278
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,006
they always find a
way to come back.
279
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,842
Come on, let's get this guy
to a hospital.
280
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,541
How you feeling, buddy?
281
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,448
Oh, shit.
He's dead.
282
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,723
He's dead. Okay.
283
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,106
Okay, that's a perfect capper.
284
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,369
Come on, help me wheel him out.
285
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,512
Good Lord.
286
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:40,285
[Sighing]
287
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:44,731
[Distant siren wailing]
288
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:57,831
[Sinister laughing]
289
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:06,536
[Laughing continues]
290
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,705
[Fleshler]
Oh, yes.
291
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:10,452
[Laughter fading]
292
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,192
I'm back.
293
00:11:12,242 --> 00:11:16,792
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