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1
00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:05,847
Hi, this is Elizabeth
Montgomery,
2
00:00:05,871 --> 00:00:09,574
inviting you to stay
tuned for
Bewitched.
3
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:23,755
Sam? Out here.
4
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:27,102
What are you doing?
5
00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,670
Uh, potting.
6
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:31,507
I, uh... I thought you were
gonna sleep late this morning.
7
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,309
Yeah, but I find it hard to
sleep in a half-empty bed.
8
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,479
Oh, heh. Well, I had
these pots on my mind...
9
00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:39,347
Oh, I must look a mess.
10
00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:42,851
Yeah, but what a beautiful mess.
11
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,144
Let's see, now. There's
a nice clean spot.
12
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,791
Let me wash up. I'll
fix you some breakfast.
13
00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:51,259
I haven't got
time for breakfast.
14
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:52,628
I have an 11:00 appointment.
15
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,029
Then I have to
stop off and pick up
16
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:56,031
a special surprise
I found for you.
17
00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,132
What's the occasion?
18
00:00:58,156 --> 00:01:00,836
It's an everyday
occasion. I love you.
19
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,504
Stop.
20
00:01:02,528 --> 00:01:05,574
I'm getting nauseous.
21
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:07,909
Up here, my darlings.
22
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:10,278
Endora, must you show
up without any warning?
23
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:11,780
Like the flu?
24
00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:15,784
Durwood, you are very ignorable.
25
00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:17,285
Let's keep it that way.
26
00:01:17,309 --> 00:01:19,043
Mo... Oh.
27
00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:31,299
Sweetheart, don't forget
that Larry and the Franklins
28
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,635
are coming over for
dinner tonight. No, no.
29
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,303
I'll be home early.
30
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:37,395
I still say you're
a beautiful mess.
31
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,245
The bologna in this place
32
00:01:44,269 --> 00:01:46,415
could supply a
delicatessen for a year.
33
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,517
Mother, if you don't like it,
34
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,018
why don't you go someplace
35
00:01:50,042 --> 00:01:51,953
where the
eavesdropping is better?
36
00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:55,490
The way you lap up that
syrup, my darling, it's pathetic.
37
00:01:55,514 --> 00:01:56,725
Why shouldn't I?
38
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,192
Because he's a mortal.
39
00:01:58,216 --> 00:02:00,729
And because when
your average mortal
40
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,798
starts bringing home
presents to his wife,
41
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,833
and there's no occasion,
42
00:02:04,857 --> 00:02:07,869
believe me, there's
been an occasion.
43
00:02:07,893 --> 00:02:12,207
You have a very suspicious mind.
44
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:15,209
Oh-ho-ho! Your
naiveté is sick-making.
45
00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,879
Or are you living on
fabrications just as they do?
46
00:02:17,903 --> 00:02:20,248
No, I'm not.
47
00:02:20,272 --> 00:02:22,150
Darrin is not your
average mortal.
48
00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:24,252
He doesn't tell lies.
49
00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:27,255
Nonsense, they're all the same.
50
00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:30,825
Every one of them, including
your precious Durwood.
51
00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:34,085
Why, I wager...
52
00:02:35,154 --> 00:02:36,731
Yes?
53
00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:41,470
I just remembered
something urgent I have to do.
54
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,305
I won't be long.
55
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,262
Well, take your time.
56
00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:55,807
Oh.
57
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,510
Love is blind.
58
00:03:00,679 --> 00:03:02,012
Oh, well.
59
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,453
Good morning, Betty.
Good morning, Mr. Stephens.
60
00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:07,522
Oh, Betty, I wanna show you
61
00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:09,323
a little gift I bought
for Mrs. Stephens.
62
00:04:09,347 --> 00:04:10,692
Oh, what's the occasion?
63
00:04:10,716 --> 00:04:11,893
Oh, no occasion.
64
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,628
Just like that?
65
00:04:13,652 --> 00:04:15,420
Aren't you sweet.
66
00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:18,700
She happens to be
crazy about unicorns.
67
00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:20,368
Unicorns?
68
00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:22,070
Right. It's her favorite animal.
69
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:24,106
Unicorns?
70
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,841
Um, a mythical favorite.
71
00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:29,644
Anyway, I found this
in an antique store,
72
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:32,336
and I can't wait
to give it to her.
73
00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:38,053
Upon that unicorn
I put my spell.
74
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:41,189
Approach it And
the truth you'll tell.
75
00:04:41,213 --> 00:04:43,758
Step back And once
again you'll speak.
76
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:47,886
Those lies so dear
To mortals weak
77
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,624
I wish my boyfriend
were like you.
78
00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:56,772
Especially I wish he were
married like you, to me.
79
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,407
Do you know how long
we've been engaged?
80
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:02,076
Eight years. It's a disgrace.
81
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,601
Oh, it's lovely.
82
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,315
Hm.
83
00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:09,517
Eight years, huh?
84
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:11,753
Has your boyfriend ever
seen you in that dress?
85
00:05:11,777 --> 00:05:13,755
I beg your pardon.
86
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:15,323
Yes, sir.
87
00:05:15,347 --> 00:05:18,149
That's some tight
dress, is what it is.
88
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:23,598
Uh...
89
00:05:23,622 --> 00:05:26,124
I-I'm sorry if I'm wearing
something that's inappropriate.
90
00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:31,973
Inappropriate? No,
no, uh, not at all.
91
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:34,209
It's a charming dress, Betty,
92
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,835
and I have no right
to be so personal.
93
00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:45,920
I don't mind your being
personal, Mr. Stephens.
94
00:05:45,944 --> 00:05:49,157
To tell the truth, I wore
this dress especially for you.
95
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:50,591
I hoped it'd get to you.
96
00:05:50,615 --> 00:05:53,528
It's two sizes too small,
and I thought it would be nice
97
00:05:53,552 --> 00:05:56,020
if you noticed I was
a woman, just once.
98
00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:02,904
Mr. Stephens, I... I
was only kidding, really.
99
00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:05,169
I don't know what
made me say that.
100
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:08,232
Yeah, well, that makes us even.
101
00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:14,048
Mr. Stephens' office.
102
00:06:14,072 --> 00:06:16,651
Yes, sir, I'll... I'll ask him.
103
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:19,487
It's Mr. Tate. He wants to know
if you've come up with anything
104
00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:21,289
on the Cora May
Sportswear account.
105
00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:25,383
Yes, I've come up with a
beautiful case of indigestion.
106
00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,131
Uh, hi, Larry.
107
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:33,034
The answer is no, I
haven't come up with a thing.
108
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,370
No, no, no, no, no. Hear me out.
109
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,370
In view of the fact
110
00:06:36,394 --> 00:06:38,439
that you gave everybody
else in the office
111
00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:41,509
a chance at losing that
account before you gave it to me,
112
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,812
and considering the fact
that I've been on the account
113
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:46,314
for exactly 24 hours, I
think you've got a lot of nerve
114
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:48,282
expecting me to
perform miracles.
115
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:49,373
Yes?
116
00:06:51,309 --> 00:06:52,844
Oh, good.
117
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,925
I can tell you
this to your face.
118
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,393
You spent a year
119
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,930
running the Cora May
account into the ground, and...
120
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,899
And...
121
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:08,069
And, uh, uh, no one
in my time or memory
122
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:11,862
has ever put up a more valiant
struggle to save a sinking ship.
123
00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:14,509
Is this some kind of a joke?
124
00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:17,501
Oh, I knew I could rely on
your sense of humor, Larry.
125
00:07:18,703 --> 00:07:22,217
It's a pretty dumb
joke, if you ask me.
126
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,386
Yeah, I guess it was.
127
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,454
What's bugging you this morning?
128
00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:28,290
I gave you the
sportswear account
129
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,114
because I thought it
would be a challenge.
130
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,195
And I wanted no part of it.
131
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,062
She's a miserable lady.
132
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:36,932
I hate doing business
with women, anyway.
133
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,867
It's a marginal product,
and I have no intention
134
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,369
of knocking myself out.
135
00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:44,505
Besides, I'm king of
the hill in this agency.
136
00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:47,065
That's the way things are.
137
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:50,111
Right, Larry. Sure.
138
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,913
I hope you'll be in a
better mood tonight.
139
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:54,783
Oh, don't worry,
I'll be a good boy.
140
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,373
Good.
141
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,356
I didn't really
mean all that stuff
142
00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:03,958
about the king of the hill.
143
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:07,128
It's just that, if anyone
can land that account,
144
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:08,429
you can.
145
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:09,731
See you tonight.
146
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:11,822
I'll, uh, be looking
forward to it.
147
00:08:16,695 --> 00:08:18,062
Big shot.
148
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:23,077
I'm coming, I'm coming.
149
00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:24,378
How do you do, madam?
150
00:08:24,402 --> 00:08:26,347
Do you believe in
magic? Probably not.
151
00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:27,983
But I'm sure you'll agree
152
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,251
that anything that makes
housecleaning a pleasure
153
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:31,252
has to be magic.
154
00:08:31,276 --> 00:08:33,587
Well, I'm terribly sorry, but...
155
00:08:33,611 --> 00:08:36,124
Think of what you can
do with the time you save.
156
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,159
I tell you, the Mindmaster
Vacuum Cleaner
157
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,961
is sweeping the country.
158
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:41,462
"Sweeping the country," get it?
159
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:43,698
I get it.
160
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:46,234
Just a minute,
buddy. I was here first.
161
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:47,635
It's my husband.
162
00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:49,304
Oh, how do you do, sir?
163
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,663
I was just telling the little
lady what a great little...
164
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:56,044
What a dog this
vacuum cleaner is.
165
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,369
I mean, that's what I
should have been telling her.
166
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:01,716
I take it you're not interested.
167
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,351
Sorry.
168
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,720
Well, you can't win 'em all.
169
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,546
With this dud, I can't
seem to win any of them.
170
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,559
What got into him?
171
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:13,261
Can't imagine.
172
00:09:13,285 --> 00:09:14,729
Well, I suppose
there comes a time
173
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:17,193
when a man just
can't hack it anymore.
174
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:22,137
What kind of a kiss
do you call that?
175
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,438
A cautious kiss.
176
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:26,640
I didn't feel like getting
a roller in my eye.
177
00:09:26,664 --> 00:09:30,245
Oh, sweetheart, I... I'm sorry.
178
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,880
I just finished
putting up my hair,
179
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,681
when that pest
arrived. Do you mind?
180
00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:37,051
Of course I do. All men do.
181
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:40,154
If women just realized how
ridiculous and unfeminine
182
00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:42,357
they looked with all that
hardware in their hair...
183
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,359
You want me to
look pretty, don't you?
184
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,160
Well, look at it this way.
185
00:09:46,184 --> 00:09:48,897
How would you feel if I
came tripping down the stairs,
186
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,464
with shaving cream
all over my face,
187
00:09:50,488 --> 00:09:52,033
and offered you
my forehead to kiss?
188
00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:53,701
Darrin.
189
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:56,404
Well, I wouldn't be at my
most attractive, would I?
190
00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:58,773
Well, no, you're not right now.
191
00:09:58,797 --> 00:10:01,910
I think his honesty
is very refreshing.
192
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,211
Thank you.
193
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,380
If the sight of me
is so distressing,
194
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,781
I'll just go back upstairs.
195
00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:08,549
Sam.
196
00:10:08,573 --> 00:10:11,485
Endora, there are lots of
things I don't need right now,
197
00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:12,910
and you're on
the top of the list.
198
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,657
Mother, dear? Hm?
199
00:10:16,681 --> 00:10:19,260
You still find his
honesty refreshing?
200
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:20,428
Mm-hm.
201
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:23,330
Oh, sweetheart,
here's that surprise
202
00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:24,632
I told you about this morning.
203
00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:27,091
Oh.
204
00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:31,906
Oh, Darrin, it's
beautiful. Mother, look.
205
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:35,276
Oh, isn't it lovely?
206
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,113
Who picked it out
for you, Durwood?
207
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,937
Oh, oh.
208
00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,383
Let's see, it isn't
your birthday,
209
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:43,851
it isn't your anniversary.
210
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,887
So there's only one explanation.
211
00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:49,090
Durwood has a guilty conscience.
212
00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:52,494
Oh, Mother. Stop being yourself.
213
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:55,330
That's like asking
Niagara to fall up.
214
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:58,600
All right, all right.
Mother, bye-bye.
215
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,701
Earlier, I couldn't
help but overhear
216
00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:03,638
that you were having
a little, uh, dinner party?
217
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:06,407
So why don't you two
run up and get dressed?
218
00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:08,342
I hope you have
a lovely evening.
219
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:09,744
Thank you, Mother.
220
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,180
Don't worry about your mother.
221
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,983
I'll find something
to eat, someplace.
222
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,674
Okay, fine.
223
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,422
Darrin, don't make Mother angry.
224
00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:24,491
She's very difficult
when she gets angry.
225
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:27,361
Since when does she have
to be angry to be difficult?
226
00:11:27,385 --> 00:11:29,530
You're right, Durweed.
227
00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:33,134
I don't have to be
angry to be difficult.
228
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:34,292
But it helps.
229
00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:40,241
Oh, Darrin, when are you going
to learn that Mother knows best?
230
00:11:40,265 --> 00:11:43,578
Hm? And what Mother knows best
231
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,003
is how to be difficult.
232
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:56,924
Well, so far so good.
233
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:59,660
It's possible that your mother
has come to understand
234
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,863
that you cannot mix in-laws
with business dinners.
235
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,630
Mm-hm. It's possible.
236
00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:06,000
It's also possible
that it don't rain
237
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:07,869
in Indianapolis in
the summertime.
238
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:08,936
Sam.
239
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,804
Well...
240
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:15,210
You talk about women's
lib. Why, to me, it's laughable.
241
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,711
Any woman worth
her salt can make it
242
00:12:17,735 --> 00:12:19,480
if she has the
will and the talent.
243
00:12:19,504 --> 00:12:24,418
Why, I started my own
company at the age of 25.
244
00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:28,556
Is that right? My,
that's really impressive.
245
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:31,215
Ha, ha. You must be very
proud of you wife, Mr. Franklin.
246
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:37,265
Hm? Oh, yes, indeed.
She's quite, eh, remarkable.
247
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,133
Thank you, dear.
248
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,258
You're slouching.
249
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:43,837
Oh, speaking of business,
250
00:12:43,861 --> 00:12:46,140
I think you should know
that we at McMann & Tate
251
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:49,877
consider Stephens to be our
number-one creative talent.
252
00:12:49,901 --> 00:12:54,772
Tate, don't you think
you're being a little outré?
253
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,341
I am?
254
00:12:58,643 --> 00:12:59,887
Where?
255
00:12:59,911 --> 00:13:03,291
I mean, if we're going
to discuss business,
256
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:06,427
wouldn't it be more civilized
to wait till we've had a drink?
257
00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:08,096
Well, here are the drinks.
258
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,655
Good, ha, ha, ha. Now
we can discuss business.
259
00:13:14,025 --> 00:13:15,936
Here you are,
Larry. Oh, thank you.
260
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,872
Uh, Darrin, do you know
what Cora May was telling me?
261
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,174
What?
262
00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:23,444
She started her own
company when she was only 25.
263
00:13:23,468 --> 00:13:26,947
Really? Well, that makes
it a very young company.
264
00:13:26,971 --> 00:13:30,885
Oh, ho, ho! I see
your plan, you old fox.
265
00:13:30,909 --> 00:13:33,120
You've assigned the
charmer on your staff
266
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:37,791
to my account, haven't
you? Ha, ha, ha, ha!
267
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:40,894
Don't you try to
con me with flattery,
268
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:42,763
because you'll be
wasting your time.
269
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:45,967
I am interested in one
thing and one thing only,
270
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,636
and that is results.
Right, Walter?
271
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:53,274
Right, made 25 years of
age. Isn't that remarkable?
272
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:55,476
You haven't even been listening.
273
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,211
Yes, I have, dear.
What did you say?
274
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:58,735
I s...
275
00:13:59,537 --> 00:14:00,915
Here we are.
276
00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:04,319
She comes in
beauty Like the night.
277
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,876
Bearing tidbits From
Olympian heights
278
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:08,856
My goodness.
279
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,559
You better save your poetry
until you've tasted those.
280
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,127
Speaking of poetry,
281
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:17,231
I had a great idea today
for a slogan for my dress line.
282
00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:20,001
I'll give it to you
gentlemen, for nothing.
283
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,103
Great, Cora May. Let's hear it.
284
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:24,439
Ready? Heh-heh! Walter.
285
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,573
Whatever you say, dear.
286
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,942
Well, I haven't
said anything yet.
287
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:31,112
Oh, what's the
slogan, Mrs. Franklin?
288
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:35,450
Well, it goes like this.
289
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,853
Confucius say, "Don't
be messy-messy,
290
00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:42,413
buy a Cora May dressy-wessy."
291
00:14:46,884 --> 00:14:49,754
Oh, that's... cute.
292
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:56,371
Yeah. That's great, Cora May.
293
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,173
We'd never have thought of
it. Darrin, make a note of that.
294
00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:01,475
We'd better discuss it
at the meeting tomorrow.
295
00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:03,477
Oh, I don't have to
make a note of that,
296
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,669
because I couldn't
possibly forget it.
297
00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:10,518
But, in truth, I must admit,
298
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,076
it's very forgettable.
299
00:15:13,177 --> 00:15:15,890
What was that you said?
300
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,058
Well, I mean,
301
00:15:18,082 --> 00:15:21,596
"messy-messy,"
"dressy-wessy." Heh, heh.
302
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,163
You were kidding, weren't you?
303
00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:27,568
Darrin, you must
admit, it's pretty catchy.
304
00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:29,970
Oh, re... Relax, Larry.
305
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:32,473
I know the Cora May
account is a pet of yours.
306
00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,676
That's the reason
you should be truthful.
307
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,277
That's right, Darrin.
308
00:15:36,301 --> 00:15:39,380
Cora May's account
is very important to me.
309
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:41,549
Let's not forget it.
310
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,350
Let's also not forget
311
00:15:43,374 --> 00:15:46,921
if anybody laughs at my pet
accounts, it's going to be me.
312
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:49,447
"Dressy-wessy." Oh, boy.
313
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,730
Larry. Darrin.
314
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,366
Hey, now, come on,
stop clowning around.
315
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:02,159
Mrs. Franklin's apt
to take you seriously.
316
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,409
Stop teasing Mrs. Franklin.
317
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,378
They always do this
with a new account.
318
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,047
It's sort of a little
game they play.
319
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:15,939
They must lose quite a
few accounts that way.
320
00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:19,754
Uh. Rarely, rarely.
321
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,590
They're very careful
to do it only with a client
322
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:25,783
they know has a
terrific sense of humor.
323
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:32,132
Oh. Well, that's one thing
you can say about me
324
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:35,002
with... With no fear
of contradiction.
325
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:37,638
Right, Walter?
326
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,474
You're absolutely right, dear.
327
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,175
A sense of humor has...
328
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:45,078
Has always been an important
ingredient in my success.
329
00:16:45,102 --> 00:16:48,416
Why, I-I could always
laugh at misfortune
330
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,785
in those... Those grim days
331
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:55,923
when I was pulling myself
up the ladder, rung by rung.
332
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:58,782
I worked my way up in
the dress business, until...
333
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,220
Why don't you knock
it off, Cora May?
334
00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:08,302
What did you say, dear?
335
00:17:08,326 --> 00:17:11,605
You didn't work your way
into the dress business.
336
00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:13,808
You were kicked
into it, by your father
337
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:17,345
who gave you
$25,000 to leave home.
338
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:21,115
Walter, how can
you talk like that?
339
00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:24,118
Easy, dear,
because it's the truth.
340
00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:25,853
But... But... But...
341
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,622
I have had it up
to here, Cora May,
342
00:17:28,646 --> 00:17:31,025
with that Horatio
Alger bit of yours.
343
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,126
Walter!
344
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:37,388
Uh, Mrs. Franklin, suppose
we get back to business?
345
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,834
A... B... Yes, I...
346
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:45,039
I think business is the only
safe subject we can discuss.
347
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,039
Right.
348
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,708
Wrong.
349
00:17:47,732 --> 00:17:50,477
For years I have been clamming
up while she sounded off
350
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,513
about being the
great career woman,
351
00:17:52,537 --> 00:17:55,249
playing "I Love Me"
on her big fat trombone.
352
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:59,554
And, Cora May, don't you
ever jab me in the ribs again.
353
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,225
Do you have anything
else to say, dear?
354
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,494
Yes, something I've been
wanting to say for a long time.
355
00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:10,230
When you put "career"
in front of "woman,"
356
00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:13,233
a large part of the
woman disappears.
357
00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:16,093
There's more, but
that'll do for starters.
358
00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:18,462
Well. Uh.
359
00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:23,143
I think I'll, uh, check my roast
360
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:26,437
while, uh, Darrin
changes the subject.
361
00:18:30,775 --> 00:18:34,445
H... Hasn't it been
warm? Lately.
362
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,426
Mother.
363
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,896
I know you're behind this.
364
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,331
I also know what
you're trying to prove.
365
00:18:44,355 --> 00:18:46,333
And if it'll make
you feel any better,
366
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:49,269
you have proven your point.
367
00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:52,095
You're creating a
disaster out there.
368
00:18:58,302 --> 00:18:59,980
"You were right.
369
00:19:00,004 --> 00:19:02,716
Mother knows best.
Message enclosed."
370
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,007
Oh!
371
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,814
"You ain't seen nothing yet."
372
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:18,933
Mrs. Franklin, I have
a great deal of respect
373
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,369
for your judgment
regarding your advertising,
374
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:24,094
and I'm certainly willing to
exchange campaign ideas.
375
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:28,209
Except when you start
throwing around nonsense
376
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:31,212
like "dressy-wessy." Oh, no.
377
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:32,746
Darrin, have you gone bananas?
378
00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:35,917
Not at all. I think a little
frankness is a healthy thing.
379
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,485
It's also stupid. Oh, dear.
380
00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:40,587
I don't think so.
381
00:19:40,611 --> 00:19:43,291
It's time somebody
leveled with Cora May.
382
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,927
Oh, boy. And, Cora May,
383
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,595
it's time you
listened for a change.
384
00:19:48,619 --> 00:19:51,332
Oh, surely, you don't
mean what you're saying,
385
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,267
Mr. Franklin.
386
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:56,804
You never talked to me
like that in your whole life.
387
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,530
Well, you never shut
up long enough for me to.
388
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,544
You know, they say this kind
of a constructive argument
389
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,913
is very healthy for a marriage.
390
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:07,214
Mrs. Franklin,
391
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:09,483
it might be a good idea if
you listen to your husband
392
00:20:09,507 --> 00:20:12,019
and then to your
advertising representatives.
393
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:15,656
Keep going, my boy,
you're making lots of sense.
394
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,691
Never says a word.
395
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:20,594
All of a sudden,
can't shut him up.
396
00:20:20,618 --> 00:20:23,931
Walter, I have waited for years
397
00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:28,803
for you to stop being the
suffering, silent martyr.
398
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,138
I must say, you
picked a beautiful time
399
00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:33,140
to turn yourself on.
400
00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:36,010
Well, I am liberated, Cora May.
401
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,812
Mrs. Franklin,
I'm not through...
402
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:41,015
Darrin, couldn't we
discuss this at dinner?
403
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,106
Is dinner ready?
404
00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:47,688
No. But I thought the
dining room might be safer.
405
00:20:47,712 --> 00:20:50,091
I think Samantha's
absolutely right.
406
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,015
We should postpone
this discussion until...
407
00:20:53,017 --> 00:20:54,729
Until right now.
408
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:58,098
Darrin, there are many
ways of handling clients.
409
00:20:58,122 --> 00:20:59,900
And this isn't any of them.
410
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:03,137
Cora May, we don't tell you
how to make your dresses.
411
00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:07,097
And we don't want you telling
us how to handle your advertising.
412
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:12,112
Well, why aren't you
laughing, Cora May?
413
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,381
What happened to that
sense of humor of yours
414
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:16,917
that got you through
those dark days
415
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:19,381
when you were
climbing the ladder?
416
00:21:20,945 --> 00:21:22,923
Mrs. Franklin, if
you would just leave
417
00:21:22,947 --> 00:21:25,859
the creative side of advertising
in our capable hands...
418
00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:28,295
Darrin, why don't you let Larry
419
00:21:28,319 --> 00:21:30,397
tell Mrs. Franklin
where to get off?
420
00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:31,732
He's the boss.
421
00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:34,769
Sweetheart, would
you mind butting out?
422
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:35,703
Well!
423
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:38,538
Darrin, you stop
picking on your wife.
424
00:21:38,562 --> 00:21:40,574
She's a nice, lovely,
charming lady.
425
00:21:40,598 --> 00:21:41,842
Right.
426
00:21:41,866 --> 00:21:45,178
For heaven's sakes,
Walter, turn it off.
427
00:21:45,202 --> 00:21:48,582
Where are your manners?
You're a guest in this house.
428
00:21:48,606 --> 00:21:52,953
Oh, Mrs. Franklin, don't
worry about that. I mean...
429
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,421
I'm not finished yet.
430
00:21:54,445 --> 00:21:57,925
Neither am I. I
have a lot to say.
431
00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:01,562
Cora May, why don't you
just keep quiet for a change?
432
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:04,298
Just who do you
think you're talking to?
433
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,200
Me. He was talking to me.
434
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:10,137
No, I was talking to my
wife, and I am not finished yet.
435
00:22:10,161 --> 00:22:12,906
I believe I was
doing the talking.
436
00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:14,975
You were, you were.
437
00:22:14,999 --> 00:22:19,313
Please, couldn't I interest
anyone in some rare roast pork?
438
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:21,481
I am going to finished
what I have to say...
439
00:22:21,505 --> 00:22:22,639
Cora May...
440
00:22:44,829 --> 00:22:47,942
Darrin? Oh, excuse me.
441
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,677
What would you
like for breakfast?
442
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,412
Dinner.
443
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,647
Well, it's all still in there,
444
00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:55,750
and it's not rare anymore.
445
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,317
Forget it.
446
00:22:57,341 --> 00:22:59,319
I wish I could forget
the whole evening.
447
00:22:59,343 --> 00:23:01,088
Did you get in touch
with your mother?
448
00:23:01,112 --> 00:23:02,188
Mm-hm.
449
00:23:02,212 --> 00:23:05,092
Finally. And got a confession.
450
00:23:05,116 --> 00:23:08,395
Here's the culprit. Mother
put a truth spell on it.
451
00:23:08,419 --> 00:23:10,597
She wanted to prove
that mortals can't stand
452
00:23:10,621 --> 00:23:12,499
to tell the truth
to one another.
453
00:23:12,523 --> 00:23:14,691
Well, this mortal can
stand telling the truth.
454
00:23:16,594 --> 00:23:21,241
Your mother pulled a low,
sneaky, mean, underhanded trick.
455
00:23:21,265 --> 00:23:22,999
How's that for the truth?
456
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,136
I'll get it.
457
00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:31,786
Oh, Larry. Good
morning, Samantha.
458
00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:34,121
Lovely dinner.
459
00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:36,757
Well, it's all still out
there, if you want some.
460
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:38,425
Hi, Darrin. Hi.
461
00:23:38,449 --> 00:23:40,161
I just dropped
by to let you know
462
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:42,062
I was practically up all night
463
00:23:42,086 --> 00:23:45,065
trying to calm down Cora
May and her husband.
464
00:23:45,089 --> 00:23:48,302
With a lot of smooth
talk, and a little infighting,
465
00:23:48,326 --> 00:23:50,504
I managed to
salvage the account.
466
00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:52,439
But I do think you
owe her an apology.
467
00:23:52,463 --> 00:23:54,741
Well, Larry, I... Darrin.
468
00:23:54,765 --> 00:23:56,911
There's no need
for him to apologize.
469
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,946
You'll just have to
get along without one.
470
00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:01,816
Maybe I can get along
without him at the office too.
471
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,717
Well, Larry, if that's
the way you feel,
472
00:24:03,741 --> 00:24:04,985
go ahead and try it.
473
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:06,576
You've got a deal.
474
00:24:07,979 --> 00:24:10,457
That's the worst deal
I ever made in my life.
475
00:24:10,481 --> 00:24:12,826
I need you at the office,
Darrin, you know that.
476
00:24:12,850 --> 00:24:15,295
I can't get along without you.
477
00:24:15,319 --> 00:24:17,998
Oh, isn't it nice
to hear the truth?
478
00:24:18,022 --> 00:24:20,201
What about Mr. and
Mrs. Franklin?
479
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,336
Actually, I wasn't up
with them last night.
480
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,672
Cora May called me this morning.
481
00:24:24,696 --> 00:24:28,241
It seems that they continued
that donnybrook they were having
482
00:24:28,265 --> 00:24:30,878
and cleared up a lot of
old misunderstandings.
483
00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:32,212
They're happy as larks.
484
00:24:32,236 --> 00:24:34,515
Actually, Larry, everything
turned out beautifully.
485
00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:36,182
I guess so.
486
00:24:36,206 --> 00:24:39,686
Heh, heh. I can't
wait to tell Mother.
487
00:24:39,710 --> 00:24:41,287
Mother?
488
00:24:41,311 --> 00:24:43,423
Yeah, she just
loves happy endings.
489
00:24:43,447 --> 00:24:45,225
Oh.
490
00:24:45,249 --> 00:24:48,418
Well, I'll see you later
at the office, Darrin.
491
00:24:54,592 --> 00:24:57,872
This little fellow really
works, doesn't he?
492
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,763
Let me give it a test.
493
00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:06,613
Honey, you're beautiful,
sweet, clever, adorable,
494
00:25:06,637 --> 00:25:08,071
and I love you madly.
495
00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:10,250
It works.
496
00:25:10,274 --> 00:25:12,886
Well, it doesn't work on me,
497
00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,154
but I love you.
498
00:25:14,178 --> 00:25:18,091
And that is the
truth, the whole truth
499
00:25:18,115 --> 00:25:19,416
and... et cetera.
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