All language subtitles for 25 - Pleasure O Riley

- Darrin...
- I can't stop now, honey, I'm late.

- But, sweetheart...
- Martins is due at 9:00.

After that I got the Phillips meeting.

- But, Darrin...
- Friday's always a frantic day.

It isn't Friday.

It's Saturday. You can sleep
as late as you like.

Oh, boy.

Must've set it by mistake.

Oh, good morning.

Good morning.

- And it's such a lovely one, isn't it?
- Lovely.

My, aren't I fortunate to have
such a handsome man...

...for a next-door neighbour.

See anything interesting?

Interesting?

Oh, I don't know if "interesting"
is the right word.

I'd certainly call her attractive.

Wouldn't you?

You might even say
that she was beautiful.

I mean, for that type of girl.

I mean, she can't help
being stunning, can she?

I mean, in that outfit.

With that long hair down her back.

I was talking about the newspaper.

I'll get it, sweetheart.

Hello. Oh, good morning, Marty.

Ten-thirty at the club,
can I make it?

- You can make it.
- I can make it if I hang up right now.

You don't mind?

We'll only play 18.

Besides, two of the foursome,
Hyler and McNeal...

...could mean new business
for the agency.

Never need explain
to an adoring golf widow.

Besides, I've got closets to clean
and that new neighbour to spy on.

Can't let Gladys Kravitz
have all the fun.

Gladys, will you stay away
from that window.

All right, so she's a...

Beautiful girl.

Wow, as the saying goes.

But why isn't her husband
helping her? Where is he?

She doesn't look like
our kind of people.

Oh, aren't you nice.

Thanks ever so much, Mr...

...Good Samaritan.

Stephens, Darrin.
Welcome to Morning Glory Circle.

- I'll give you a hand.
- Thanks.

Okay, there we go. Alrighty.

Gee, look at all them trophies
and medals and stuff.

She's a real winner.

"First prize for the most beautiful lips
in Sheboygan presented to..."

Well, I'm terribly sorry
I was so clumsy, Mrs...?

Unfortunately, it's still Miss.

Miss Pleasure O'Riley.

Naturally, my real name, Priscilla,
is so much more dignified.

But it all started when I was a baby.

I'd try to say Priscilla,
but it would come out Pleasure.

Well, how do you like that?

So natch, Mummy and Daddy
hung it on to me as a nickname.

And it sort of stuck, you know.

For some crazy reason...

...photographers and all these
beauty-contest people...

...seemed to prefer
to call me Pleasure.

Men especially. Why fight it?

So now I use it as my pen name,
you know.

Great for publicity, natch.

Natch.

Well, you know something,
Mr. Stephens?

My manager has insured every single
part of me. Isn't that wild?

Excuse me.

Darrin, darling, you have exactly
11 minutes to get to your club.

Assuming you're willing to tee off
in your bathrobe.

Oh, boy. Sam, I'd like you to meet
our new neighbour, Pleasure O'Riley.

Pleasure O'Riley?

All the women react the same way,
but I don't mind.

Hi there, Mrs. Stephens.

Be careful of my legs.

Your husband has been a living doll,
a pillar of strength.

I'll bet he has. Eagle Scout, you know.

You should see him sometimes helping
little old ladies across the street.

Here's my new love seat.
No one to share it with me.

Miss O'Riley, I would think
a beauty queen like you...

...would have dozens
of hopelessly smitten suitors...

...flinging themselves at your feet
and your throne.

Well, naturally, I've been engaged
a few times. I guess about 16.

And none of them was Mr. Right?

That may seem like a lot, but six of the
engagements were to the same fellow.

Thor Swenson.

Not Thor "Thunderbolt" Swenson
of the Pennsylvania Manglers, lady?

- The great offensive fullback?
- The very offensive fullback.

Now, you remember
what you faithfully promised.

Not to tell absolutely no one
your new address here.

- Not even Thor Swenson?
- Particularly Thor Swenson.

Don't you think you're being
a little bit hard on that poor boy...

...after being engaged to him
six times?

You wouldn't say that,
Mrs. Stephens...

...if this insanely jealous, rotten,
awful, terrible-tempered person...

...just very recently
threatened to kill you.

He did?

If he ever catches me alone
with another man again:

So naturally, all my boyfriends
are scared to death.

He belted poor Roger and Curtis
before they even opened their mouths.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, Mrs. Stephens,
are you ever lucky...

...to have such a sweet-tempered
dream of a man for a hubby like Darrin.

Hold on to him.

I intend to.

Hey, how about that.

My favourite flowers.

My favourite vintage,
Liebfraumilch '53, the best year.

- You expecting someone special?
- Yes, you.

What's this all about?

It's all about the fact that I suddenly
remembered I love you very much...

...and that this is the best year too.

Now, you tend to your business. Open
the Liebfraumilch and light the candles.

Hey, my favourite. Turkey soup
with extra-wide noodles.

How about that?

You advertising men. You have
such a way with a fresh phrase.

You're right, this is the best year.

You want this vintage love of mine
or your hot turkey soup?

That is a tough choice to make.

What was that?

Sounded like a sonic boom.
Must be Pleasure O'Riley.

She's been dropping things
like that all day.

It sounds to me like
she's accident-prone.

It sounded to me like she could've
fallen off of something.

Well, I wouldn't
worry unduly, Darrin...

...in view of the fact that
all her parts are heavily insured.

She stands to make a fortune
if she's broken anything.

Now, what kind of a crack is that, Sam?
That doesn't sound like you at all.

It doesn't? How about that?

She could be
lying there unconscious.

How could you tell?

But if it's going to worry you
all through dinner...

...you'd better run next door
and check, hadn't you?

Abner. Abner, come here quick.

Maybe he just wants to borrow
a cup of sugar...

...or a slice of cheesecake.

Miss O'Riley. Miss O'Riley.
Miss O'Riley?

Miss O'Riley.

Oh, hi, Darrin.

Don't try to talk, just lie there.
What's the name of your doctor?

Paul Pinkus. Do you need a doctor?

Just relax. Don't move.

I think you're all right. Just knocked
the wind out of you, that's all.

- I don't want you to move.
- You don't?

Well, in case you broke anything.

- Only my lips, darn it.
- Your lips?

They rolled somewhere here under
the couch when I fell off the ladder.

My statuette from Sheboygan.

- Well, how do you feel now?
- Fine.

- How do you feel?
- Fine.

Oh, hi there, Mrs. Stephens.

She fell off the ladder. When I got here,
I thought she was unconscious.

Actually, I never lost consciousness,
Mrs. Stephens.

But it was awfully sweet
of your husband.

He's such a thoughtful man.

I think it happened
accidentally...

...when she was looking for her bust.
The one of her lips.

Well, look here. All in one piece.

- How about that?
- Gee, how lucky can a girl get?

I mean, to have such wonderful,
wonderful neighbours...

...like you two next door to me
to call on in case of an emergency.

Thanks ever so, Darrin.
And you too, Mrs. Stephens.

Boy, is that a relief.

For a minute, she looked
completely unconscious.

So did you.

Come on, you could never be jealous of
a girl like Pleasure O'Riley, could you?

I suppose. If I tried.
Now, how would you like to wrap...

...the most beautiful lips
in advertising...

...around some of those
extra-wide noodles?

Mr. Stephens. Hey, Mr. Stephens.

Darrin, are you awake?

Darrin.

Mr. Stephens.

Mr. Stephens.

Hey, Mr. Stephens. Darrin.

Are you awake?

Darrin.

Hey, Mr. Stephens.

Samantha, what's going on?

The cheesecake queen wants to know
if you can come out and play with her.

Pleasure? I mean,
Miss O'Riley? Why?

- Darrin.
- Ask her. She's paging you, not me.

Mr. Stephens.

Hey, Mr. Stephens.

Are you awake?

Should I get out
your silk pyjamas, sir?

This looks like
it's going to be a formal affair.

Good evening, Miss O'Riley.

Did you lock yourself out
or something?

Oh, Darrin, thank goodness.
I hope I'm not disturbing you...

...but I'm so frightened.

Of what?

The moving man told me
the terrible news.

Thor Swenson made him
tell him where I live.

Thor "Thunderbolt" Swenson,
the Manglers' offensive fullback?

- Who else?
- Maybe one of the other 10 boys...

...you've been engaged to.
- Oh, no, Mrs. Stephens.

Thunderbolt's the only one
who cared enough...

...to wanna come back
and murder me.

Why would anyone
want to murder you?

Because I won't go back to him.

I'll never go back to that big,
insanely jealous brute...

...because I hate him.

Darrin, I don't know what to do now.
I'm so frightened.

In that case,
you better call the police.

I was going to, but my new telephone
won't be installed until tomorrow.

I'm so scared.

We'll call from here.
I'll be right down.

We'll both be right down.

Abner. Abner, come here.

Gladys, what can be so...

...fascinating?

Take it easy. Everything's
going to be all right.

You can't trust anybody anymore.
I should've moved myself...

...but all those things were so heavy.

I know. Your gold cups alone
weigh a ton.

- You think he'll come looking for you?
- I'm sure of it.

The moving man said
he didn't give him the exact address.

But if I know Thunderbolt,
he'll find me. He always does.

Now, you just calm down.

Go home and lock your doors
and windows while I call the police.

I'll see that she's locked in.
You better tell the law to hurry.

Hello? I'm calling to prevent a murder.
I'm at 1123 Morning Glory Circle.

All right, all right, mister.
I've got the address.

- What's the name?
- Name? Oh, Pleasure O'Riley.

Pleasure O'Riley?

Well, actually,
that's a professional model's name.

The real name is
Miss Priscilla O'Riley.

- Your name?
- No, my name is Darrin Stephens.

I'm her next-door neighbour.
She's the one in trouble.

Why isn't she making
this call herself?

Because she just moved in today,
she hasn't got a phone yet.

Could you send an officer over
to investigate?

What? What's the trouble? Look,
Mr. O'Riley, if you've been drinking...

Stephens. As I told you
at the beginning of this conversation...

...this is an emergency.
Miss O'Riley could be in danger.

An ex-boyfriend has been making
threats. He's on his way over now.

Will you please send somebody?

We'll check it out as soon as we can.
What's his name?

Thunderbolt Swenson.

Thunderbolt Swenson?

I'll send somebody over right away.
If you see him before we get there...

...would you ask him
for an autograph for my kids?

He's here. He's here.

That's the new car he got when
he signed his new five-year contract.

Where are those policemen?

Oh, please don't let him in. Here.

Hide all my trophies
and take down that picture of me...

...so Thunderbolt
won't know I'm here.

Mrs. Stephens, what shall we do?

You shall get down off that ladder,
and you will go in here...

...and you shall be real quiet
until I get rid of him.

But how? By magic or something?

Yes?

Sorry, lady.
I guess I got the wrong house.

It appears you did. Good night.

Wait, he said it was
the first house on the right.

Does a beautiful girl live next door?

- You might say that.
- The most beautiful girl in the world?

I wouldn't go that far.

- Have you seen a man over there?
- Yes, indeed. A very good-Iooking one.

I'll kill him.

Okay, lady...

Excuse me, grandma.

Grandma? Who do you think
you're talking to?

Maybe I'm mixed up, but doesn't
Pleasure O'Riley live here?

- Who wants to know?
- They said the first house on the right...

...as you turn into the street,
that's next door.

Did it occur to you
it might be on the left...

...if you were coming from
the opposite direction?

Yeah. I didn't think about that.

Next time, get your directions straight
before you wake people up at night.

- I'm sorry.
- You ought to be, you big bully.

Grandma?

- Samantha.
- I'm here, darling.

- Oh, my.
- Is this your idea of a joke?

Sorry, darling,
but you do look sweet.

Another Whistler's Mother.

Never mind that. Do something now!

Oh, all right, all right.
Don't get cranky.

Samantha, what am I
gonna do with you?

I'm sorry, darling.
But I did it for your own good.

Besides, you make
an adorable grandma.

Abner, Abner. What could that noise be
at this time of night?

There's only one way to find out.

- What is it?
- I've only got one question for you.

- Do you have Pleasure in this house?
- Not too often, but occasionally.

Gladys Kravitz, "passion's plaything."

How about that?

Morning Glory Circle
will never be the same.

- Hi, Darrin.
- Hi.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Stephens. Gee, I hope
I'm not disturbing you.

No, not at all. We were beginning
to wonder where you were.

In that awful police court, although
the judge couldn't have been sweeter.

- I must admit, I cried a little.
- Well, that must've helped.

- So did that outfit.
- Oh, do you like it?

I'm so glad, Mrs. Stephens.

Oh, and, Darrin, hurray, hurray, our
worries with Thunderbolt are all over.

My lawyer just got a court order.
So now he's gotta stay away from me.

But don't you still have
10 ex-boyfriends left?

And, Darrin, my insurance company's
gonna pay...

...for poor Mr. Kravitz's
new bridgework.

And, Darrin, you wanna hear
something wild?

So many newspaper photographers
took pictures of me...

...when I was on the stand
that guess what.

I give up.

The mayor called me personally
to offer me a contract...

...to be Miss Urban Renewal.

Which reminds me,
I've gotta get measured...

...for my new civic-centre bikini.

Boy, I can't tell you two
how much I appreciate last night.

Darrin, how can I ever repay you?

You don't owe him a thing.

- Who's that?
- Thunderbolt. Who else?

- Then he's back?
- He's driving me to the mayor's office.

He goes everywhere with me.

Would you believe something.
He's so unreasonable...

...he doesn't even trust our mayor.
- I know our mayor.

There's nothing unreasonable
about that.

Boy, you sure look a lot
like your grandma.

I don't think so.

- You ready, Pleasure?
- Ready. Well, goodbye, everybody.

And thanks ever so, Darrin.

You too, Mrs. Stephens.