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1
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:09,180
I've got a feeling in my bones
2
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,131
this is the day I'm gonna
lower my handicap.
3
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:13,330
I hope you do, sweetheart.
4
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,996
Gee, Sam. I know you were up
during the night with the baby. I...
5
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,860
I feel like a heel
running off and leaving you.
6
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:21,131
Don't be silly. Saturday is your day.
Live it up.
7
00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:23,156
Just say the word,
and I'll stay and give you a hand.
8
00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:24,454
I wouldn't dream of it.
9
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,457
I really wouldn't mind.
10
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:32,176
Darrin, will you go out there and lower
your handicap while the lowering is good?
11
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,653
Talked me into it.
12
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,499
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
13
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:43,094
I hope you get a caddy that snickers.
14
00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:46,455
Mommy, will you read Mother Goose to me?
15
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,889
I can't, sweetheart.
I'm ironing Daddy's shirts.
16
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:52,057
Please. I love Mother Goose.
17
00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:53,932
Then why don't you read the pictures?
18
00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:57,575
Okay, Mommy, if you'll read the words.
Please?
19
00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,454
Well, all right, sweetheart.
But just for a little while.
20
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:10,489
Well, all right, sweetheart.
Let's see what we can find here.
21
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,255
Hey, this looks like a good one.
22
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:20,498
"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
the cow jumped over the moon.
23
00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:24,579
"The little dog laughed to see such sport,
and the dish ran away with the spoon."
24
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,931
Mommy, why did the dish
run away with the spoon?
25
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:30,657
Well, I guess it was...
26
00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:32,499
Or maybe...
27
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,217
Well, let's see.
28
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:39,492
The dish ran away with the spoon because.
29
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:42,180
- Because why?
- Because.
30
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:49,852
Oh, dear.
Your little brother's awake, and hungry.
31
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:53,052
He's not hungry, Mommy.
He's just crying for fun.
32
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,819
Want to hear me cry louder than Adam?
33
00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:57,851
No, thank you, sweetheart.
34
00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,368
I can.
35
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,612
Yes, I know.
36
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,413
And if you're not careful,
you may get a chance to prove it.
37
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,690
I was just kidding, Mommy.
38
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:10,176
I know what, Tabitha.
While I check on Adam,
39
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,053
how would you like Esmeralda
to come and read to you?
40
00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:16,092
- I'd like that.
- I thought so.
41
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,415
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
42
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,373
Yes, Samantha?
43
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:27,689
- Hi, Esmeralda.
- Hi, Tabitha, sweetheart.
44
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,539
Well, I'm glad you brought
your reading glasses.
45
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:33,220
Now could you just bring the rest of you?
46
00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:36,179
First, tell me who else is at home.
47
00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:38,372
Darrin is playing golf.
48
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:41,017
Then I guess it's safe.
49
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,569
Esmeralda, do you like Mother Goose?
50
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,258
Does she like me?
51
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,695
I'm sure she would if she met you.
52
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:54,051
If you'll read to Tabitha,
I'll tend to Adam's appetite.
53
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,977
I'd love to, Samantha.
54
00:02:58,380 --> 00:02:59,608
All right.
55
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,533
It's a good book for reading.
56
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:06,970
- It has lots of pictures.
- Yes, I see.
57
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,297
Hello?
58
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,536
Hi, Mrs Stephens. How are you?
59
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,375
You are?
60
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,848
You do?
61
00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:24,093
Right away?
62
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:29,613
Well, as a matter of
fact, I am rather busy.
63
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,375
Well, if it's an emergency,
64
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,298
perhaps you better come over
and tell me about it.
65
00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,297
Say, in a couple of hours?
66
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,015
You're at the corner drugstore?
67
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:46,692
Well, all right, Mrs Stephens.
I'll expect you.
68
00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:47,969
Bye-bye.
69
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,453
Oh, good grief.
70
00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:54,091
Esmeralda, who's Mother Goose?
71
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:56,654
Mother Goose? Well, now, let me see.
72
00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:58,657
Mother Goose was...
73
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:01,658
Mother Goose was...
74
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,533
Oh, dear me. I've done it again.
75
00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:17,220
I've just got to knock off that sneezing.
76
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,013
- Mother Goose!
- Oh, yes.
77
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,574
I'm Mother Goose. But who are you, child?
78
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,294
You can't be Miss Muffet.
You have no tuffet.
79
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,253
- I'm Tabitha.
- How did I get here?
80
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:33,693
Well, you see, I'm a witch,
but my powers have sort of gone flooey.
81
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,050
So sometimes when I sneeze or hiccup,
82
00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:39,172
the involuntary act
generates abnormal powers
83
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,576
which materialise the thought
nearest my cerebellum.
84
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,619
I knew there would be a simple explanation.
85
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,935
Mommy! Mommy!
86
00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,698
What is it, sweetheart?
87
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,697
Look who's here!
88
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,931
Oh, my goose! It's Mother Stars. I mean...
89
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:59,494
How nice to see you, Mistress Mary.
90
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,417
Are you quite contrary?
91
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,811
I'll say I'm quite contrary.
92
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,932
- You're mad.
- No, I'm just...
93
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:10,733
Mad. I don't blame you.
94
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,532
I'm so embarrassed.
95
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:18,889
Esmeralda, please don't go.
I'll be right down.
96
00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:16,850
Esmeralda, come back.
97
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:18,971
She forgot her glasses.
98
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,849
I say, that is a good trick.
99
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:26,619
- How does she do it?
- Well, she doesn't exactly do it.
100
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,891
It's just something that happens
when she gets upset.
101
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:34,009
- She gets upset a lot.
- Oh, yes.
102
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,893
Well, would you mind telling me
where I am?
103
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:40,535
It's on the tip of my tongue,
but I just can't think of it.
104
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,973
You are in the 20th century.
105
00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,938
Oh, child, you jest.
106
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:53,253
No. No, no, no. Esmeralda sneezed,
and you're here because of witchcraft.
107
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,769
- Well, I...
- And in a moment,
108
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,892
Esmeralda will sneeze you back
into your book, I hope.
109
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:02,296
- Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda?
- Excuse me, but what book?
110
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,695
Why, your book of nursery rhymes.
111
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,288
- These are my rhymes!
- As you can see.
112
00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,934
Oh, how delightful!
113
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:16,052
And they said
Hey Diddle Diddle wouldn't last.
114
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,776
Well, what do they know?
115
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,292
Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?
116
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,970
That's probably Mother Hubbard.
117
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:30,251
I want you to stay out here with Tabitha.
Please?
118
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,371
Well, certainly.
119
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,380
Will you recite me Hey Diddle Diddle?
120
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,253
- Hi, Mrs Stephens.
- Hello, Samantha.
121
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,771
My, don't you look nice.
122
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:53,178
Oh, thank you, Samantha.
I'm so glad you like my outfit.
123
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,131
I bought it this morning.
124
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,978
Well, good for you.
125
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,058
Well, what's the big emergency?
126
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,856
It's all over, Samantha.
127
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:08,255
- What is?
- My marriage, dear.
128
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,691
- I have left Frank forever.
- Again?
129
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:15,777
- What happened?
- What happened?
130
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,460
He's impossible. That's what happened.
131
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:22,937
Well, he must have been
impossible about something.
132
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,938
If he wants to live in the past,
that's his business.
133
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:30,497
I am a woman of tomorrow,
and I intend to dress like one, Samantha.
134
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,372
Oh, I see.
135
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,139
I take it he doesn't like your new outfit.
136
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,300
Well, as a matter of fact, he doesn't.
137
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,060
That can be very irritating.
138
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:44,293
Luckily I have you and Darrin to stay with.
139
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:48,417
- Stay with?
- Well, I wouldn't dream of imposing
140
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:51,008
if you didn't have that fabulous Esmeralda.
141
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:55,771
Oh, yes. Esmeralda.
She is a treasure, isn't she?
142
00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:59,977
Fabulous. A treasure, did someone say?
143
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,772
Oh, there you are.
144
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,697
Have you been here long?
145
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:06,288
Oh, yes. Yes, right along.
146
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,888
Imagine not seeing a person
147
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:12,535
when that person has been
right next to you all along.
148
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:14,609
Imagine.
149
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,379
Would you excuse us for just a minute?
150
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:28,655
Of course, dear. I'll just sit and rest,
and try not to think about anything.
151
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,657
I do like your mother-in-law.
152
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,850
Yes, but a mother-in-law
and a Mother Goose
153
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:37,655
in the house at the same time
are definitely too much mother.
154
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:40,658
Well, just be patient.
Mother Goose will fade.
155
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,816
My spells always do,
you know, sooner or later.
156
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:46,171
Yes, yes, I know, but it's the "later"
that worries me, when Darrin gets home.
157
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,695
Should I make up the guest room?
158
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,409
- What for?
- Your mother-in-law.
159
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:57,290
One thing we know for sure,
she's not going to fade.
160
00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:58,978
That's comforting.
161
00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:06,532
Yes. I guess you better
make up the guest room.
162
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,649
This is especially good sherry.
163
00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:25,010
- Have some more.
- If you insist.
164
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:29,888
You know, Samantha,
Esmeralda is really remarkable.
165
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,293
I could've sworn there was no one there,
166
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:38,936
and then, all of a sudden,
there she was, out of the blue.
167
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:42,735
Esmeralda prides herself
on being unobtrusive.
168
00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:46,375
I was just wondering...
Oh, I didn't know you had a guest.
169
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,532
Mrs Stephens, this is my aunt.
170
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:54,016
Your aunt? Nonsense, child.
I'm Mother Goose.
171
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,657
And I'm Little Bo-Peep.
172
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,695
But I thought you might be Mother Hubbard.
173
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:04,336
Oh, no. No, no, no.
This is Mrs Stephens-in-law.
174
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,257
I mean, my mother-in-law.
175
00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:09,076
I was wondering if you might have some
curds and whey
176
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,419
for Little Miss Muffet and me.
177
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:13,418
If you'll go out to the kitchen,
you'll find some.
178
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,576
- Lovely.
- In the refrigerator.
179
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,536
Icebox. Marked "cottage cheese."
180
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,810
Cottage cheese. How odd.
181
00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:27,176
Mother Goose. How odd.
182
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,811
Mrs Stephens,
you'll have to excuse my aunt.
183
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,497
She really does think she's Mother Goose.
184
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,531
Tell me something, Samantha.
185
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,489
Is your whole family wacky?
186
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,975
As wacky as witches, Mrs Stephens.
187
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,615
- Oh, hi, Sam.
- Hi.
188
00:11:56,740 --> 00:12:01,256
Forgive me for barging in like this,
but I know Phyllis is here.
189
00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,976
What makes you think she's here?
190
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,898
She left this forwarding address
for the mailman
191
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,739
in a place where I'd be sure to see it.
192
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,454
- Where'd she leave it?
- In my money clip.
193
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:17,490
That's so you'd remember to drop it off
when you went to the post office.
194
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:18,769
Goodbye.
195
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:26,013
Phyllis, I don't know why you're so upset.
I honestly don't.
196
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,978
That just shows you
how insensitive men are.
197
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,331
- All I said about your new outfit...
- Frank, I know what you said.
198
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:37,339
- You said, "Now, that's an outfit."
- Well, it is an outfit.
199
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:40,816
That is not what you meant
when you said, "Now, that's an outfit."
200
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,498
I meant that's not an outfit?
201
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:46,249
Frank, you know very well
what you meant and it wasn't at all nice.
202
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,257
Now, if you'll excuse me,
203
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,651
I'm going upstairs
and have one of my sick headaches.
204
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,529
Women.
205
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,490
I think they were invented to confuse men.
206
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:07,172
And who might this gentleman be?
The Farmer in the Dell?
207
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,814
Oh, no. No, this is my father-in-law.
208
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:14,650
This is my aunt,
but her friends call her Mother Goose.
209
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:20,697
- I'm glad to meet you, Mother Goose.
- And I to meet you, kind sir.
210
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,375
Well.
211
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:26,293
You know, there's a great deal
to be said for the old-fashioned lady.
212
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,210
What a pretty compliment.
213
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,490
Would you like to come out
into the garden with me
214
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,339
while I feed Miss Muffet
her curds and whey?
215
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,098
I wouldn't miss it.
216
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:48,049
- Sam, I'm home.
- Just what I needed.
217
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,648
Little Boy Blue to come blow his cool.
218
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:56,692
Well, that was a quick 18 holes.
219
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:59,380
Larry forgot to reserve our starting time.
220
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,379
- We didn't even tee off.
- Then you didn't lower your handicap.
221
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,060
No. I just raised my blood pressure.
222
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:09,138
Well, you didn't have to leave home
to do that.
223
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,418
Sam, what's wrong?
224
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:14,452
We have a small disaster here, too.
225
00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:18,294
To begin with, your mother's here.
226
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,854
Well, I'd hardly call that a disaster.
227
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:23,813
I said to begin with.
Your father's here, too.
228
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,249
He's out on the patio.
229
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,775
And what's so terrible about that?
230
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,577
With Mother Goose.
231
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,380
What?
232
00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:37,653
Well, it's nothing to be concerned about.
233
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,532
Tabitha's chaperoning.
234
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,568
I know I'll hate myself for asking,
235
00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,135
but what's Mother Goose doing here?
236
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:54,858
Well, I was reading to Tabitha
when Adam started to cry,
237
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:57,858
so I yoo-hooed for Esmeralda
to come over and read to Tabitha.
238
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,836
Then your mother called
and said she was coming over.
239
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,860
And Esmeralda sneezed,
240
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:03,196
and all of a sudden,
there was Mother Goose and your mother.
241
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,220
Then your father arrived.
242
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:07,855
If Mother Goose doesn't fade out right
away, she can keep Tabitha entertained.
243
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,335
I bet you've never heard
"Jack Sprat could eat no fat"
244
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,688
as told by the author.
245
00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:15,256
And how long are you gonna let me talk
before you kill me?
246
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:23,252
Really, sweetheart, you're going to enjoy
meeting Mother Goose.
247
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,497
And what does one say
when one meets Mother Goose?
248
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,339
Try, "Once upon a time." She'll love that.
249
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:31,655
I sometimes wonder what we'd do for kicks
250
00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:34,135
if it weren't for the trouble
your family gets us into.
251
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:37,172
My family? Now, just a minute.
252
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:41,253
The reason we have a problem is that
your mother had a fight with your father
253
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,371
and took refuge in our house.
254
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:47,857
Okay, Samantha. Okay.
It's my family's fault, and I'll handle it.
255
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,211
- Good.
- With the direct mortal approach.
256
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,534
I'm going out to the patio
257
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:56,050
and tell my father to go upstairs
and take my mother home.
258
00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:01,579
Gee, I wish I had thought of that.
259
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,932
Read me another one, please.
260
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,016
Oh, well. Oh, here's one.
261
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:14,009
"Jack, be nimble. Jack, be quick.
Jack, jump over the candlestick."
262
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,176
Hello, everybody.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
263
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,849
- Hi.
- Now, don't tell me. Let me guess.
264
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,370
Georgie Porgie. That's who you are.
265
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,694
Georgie Porgie.
266
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:28,051
He's not Georgie Porgie. He's my daddy.
267
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,058
And he's interrupting
a delightful performance.
268
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,775
- Dad, I have to talk to you.
- It can wait.
269
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,655
How's Mrs Stephens?
270
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,772
She's all settled in nice and cosy,
and I think I'm going to fade.
271
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,458
There's no need for you to fade,
272
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,810
at least not until you've gotten rid
of Mother Goose.
273
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,851
You sure know how to hurt a witch.
274
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:48,175
Just don't fade.
275
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,736
If it was your fault that your father-in-law
was flirting with Mother Goose,
276
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:54,396
and your mother-in-law was
practically passed out in the guest room,
277
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:55,899
what would you do?
278
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,295
Well, when you put it that way...
279
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,856
Well, so much for
the direct mortal approach.
280
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,740
My father is so fascinated
with Mother Goose,
281
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:04,611
he wouldn't even listen to me.
282
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,300
That may be an idea.
283
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:11,174
Esmeralda, will you go get Tabitha
and take her up to her room?
284
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:14,930
This may be just the thing
to bring your mother to her senses.
285
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,620
Could you think that through
a little slower, please?
286
00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,776
Well, when she sees your father
with Mother Goose,
287
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,733
she'll be the same as any other wife,
jealous.
288
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,495
My mother jealous of Mother Goose?
289
00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:27,778
Darrin, believe me.
290
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,415
You don't have to be a witch
to be wise in the ways of wives.
291
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:32,939
Or something.
292
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,209
Come on.
293
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,491
Mother, may we come in?
294
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:49,010
Oh, Darrin, I'm so glad you're home.
295
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:53,179
A son can be such a comfort
to a poor, wretched mother.
296
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,610
- How's your head?
- Don't ask, dear.
297
00:17:56,740 --> 00:18:00,858
Why should I bore you
with the details of my throbbing pain?
298
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:08,373
I think what you need
is a little fresh air.
299
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:20,379
"Uh-oh" what?
300
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:25,975
Do you think you could choke down
a little milk toast?
301
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:30,093
Samantha, I want to know
what you're uh-ohing about.
302
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:32,459
Oh, nothing.
303
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,935
People do not "uh-oh" about nothing.
304
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:37,528
Well, it's nothing that would interest you.
305
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,174
Is that funny aunt of yours still here?
306
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:44,050
Yes. As a matter of fact,
she's out on the patio.
307
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,250
With your estranged husband.
308
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,696
Cute couple, aren't they?
309
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:56,698
You know, I think I will try
just a bit of fresh air after all
310
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,299
for my headache.
311
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,613
But all in all, I've written
well over 500 rhymes for children.
312
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:09,777
I'm proud to say that
they're still popular.
313
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,176
Oh, yes, yes.
You know, one of my favourites was...
314
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,533
How does it go now?
315
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:18,697
"Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub..."
316
00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,890
One thing you can say about Frank,
317
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:24,695
he's polite chatting with that old lady
about Rub-a-dub-dub.
318
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:29,336
Actually, one of the very first I wrote
was about Jack Sprat and his wife.
319
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,655
Would you like me to tell you
how that came to be?
320
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,498
Well, yes, I would.
321
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:37,688
But first, let's talk about us.
322
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,530
Now, why did I say that?
323
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,220
You were gonna tell me about Jack Sprat.
324
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:50,288
Well, you remember how the line went,
"His wife could eat no lean"?
325
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:52,490
Long-winded, isn't she?
326
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:57,011
Mother Goose, this is fascinating.
And perhaps you'll tell me more
327
00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,699
when we take a spin in my new carriage.
328
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:04,370
That would be delightful.
329
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:08,778
A spin in my new carriage?
I don't have a new carriage.
330
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,811
Your old one will do.
331
00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:13,010
I don't even have an old one.
332
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:17,897
Why go anyplace?
I enjoy your company right here.
333
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,530
- Do you mind?
- Oh, not at all.
334
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:28,218
- You know, I've been thinking...
- I'll bet you have,
335
00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:30,774
about the new life waiting for you.
336
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,855
- New life?
- Oh, yes.
337
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:38,053
- After the divorce, you'll get an exciting job.
- Job?
338
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,136
Probably in electronics.
339
00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:43,255
I don't know anything about electronics.
340
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,416
I'll bet you can hardly wait.
341
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:48,691
I could wait a little while.
342
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,812
Why wait? You certainly don't have to worry
about how Dad's gonna take it.
343
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:56,413
He's gonna be very happy
with Mother Goose.
344
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:18,170
What I saw could not possibly
have happened.
345
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,698
What did you see?
346
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,380
Mother Goose just changed into a goose.
347
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:29,493
It must be the sherry.
That's Italian sherry, very strong.
348
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:32,373
Oh, no. No, Samantha, let's face facts.
349
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,570
I'm starting to see things.
350
00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:37,817
Mother Goose?
351
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,536
Mother Goose, where have you gone?
352
00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:45,174
Oh, dear.
I wonder if I sneezed another no-no.
353
00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:50,337
Another no-no.
354
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,215
Mother Goose. Mother Goose.
355
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:03,899
It's all right.
356
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:08,691
We only think we're seeing a pair
of glasses hanging in midair.
357
00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:18,408
We only thought we saw a pair of glasses
hanging in midair.
358
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:26,260
I only thought I was talking to a goose.
359
00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,774
Frank! Frank.
360
00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:37,537
Daddy Bear is here, sweetheart.
361
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,571
Frank, I want to apologise.
362
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,215
I don't want to be the woman of tomorrow.
I just want to enjoy today.
363
00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,934
Phyllis, I'm glad to hear you say that.
364
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,335
It may be later than we think.
365
00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:52,489
Frank, did you see a goose on the patio?
366
00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:54,531
I thought I did.
367
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,015
Then there's only one
thing to be said, dear.
368
00:22:57,140 --> 00:23:01,611
If we're going over the hill,
it's nice to be going together.
369
00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:13,016
They're only going over the hill.
370
00:23:13,140 --> 00:23:15,051
I'm going off my rocker.
371
00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:17,933
Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda?
372
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,539
Samantha, what are you doing?
373
00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:22,652
Well, I'm just trying to get Esmeralda back
so you can thank her.
374
00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:25,294
- For what?
- Darrin,
375
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:27,217
when your mother arrived this afternoon,
376
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:30,889
she was a tragic figure,
her marriage beyond repair.
377
00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:35,571
And now, thanks to Esmeralda,
two happy people just walked arm in arm
378
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,930
out of our front door onto the...
379
00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:41,295
Not one more word.
29724
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