All language subtitles for 12 - Sams Double Mother Trouble

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:09,180 I've got a feeling in my bones 2 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,131 this is the day I'm gonna lower my handicap. 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:13,330 I hope you do, sweetheart. 4 00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:15,996 Gee, Sam. I know you were up during the night with the baby. I... 5 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,860 I feel like a heel running off and leaving you. 6 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:21,131 Don't be silly. Saturday is your day. Live it up. 7 00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:23,156 Just say the word, and I'll stay and give you a hand. 8 00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:24,454 I wouldn't dream of it. 9 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,457 I really wouldn't mind. 10 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:32,176 Darrin, will you go out there and lower your handicap while the lowering is good? 11 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,653 Talked me into it. 12 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,499 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 13 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:43,094 I hope you get a caddy that snickers. 14 00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:46,455 Mommy, will you read Mother Goose to me? 15 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,889 I can't, sweetheart. I'm ironing Daddy's shirts. 16 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:52,057 Please. I love Mother Goose. 17 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:53,932 Then why don't you read the pictures? 18 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:57,575 Okay, Mommy, if you'll read the words. Please? 19 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,454 Well, all right, sweetheart. But just for a little while. 20 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:10,489 Well, all right, sweetheart. Let's see what we can find here. 21 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,255 Hey, this looks like a good one. 22 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:20,498 "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. 23 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:24,579 "The little dog laughed to see such sport, and the dish ran away with the spoon." 24 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,931 Mommy, why did the dish run away with the spoon? 25 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:30,657 Well, I guess it was... 26 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:32,499 Or maybe... 27 00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,217 Well, let's see. 28 00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:39,492 The dish ran away with the spoon because. 29 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:42,180 - Because why? - Because. 30 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:49,852 Oh, dear. Your little brother's awake, and hungry. 31 00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:53,052 He's not hungry, Mommy. He's just crying for fun. 32 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,819 Want to hear me cry louder than Adam? 33 00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:57,851 No, thank you, sweetheart. 34 00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,368 I can. 35 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,612 Yes, I know. 36 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,413 And if you're not careful, you may get a chance to prove it. 37 00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,690 I was just kidding, Mommy. 38 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:10,176 I know what, Tabitha. While I check on Adam, 39 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,053 how would you like Esmeralda to come and read to you? 40 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:16,092 - I'd like that. - I thought so. 41 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,415 Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda? 42 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,373 Yes, Samantha? 43 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:27,689 - Hi, Esmeralda. - Hi, Tabitha, sweetheart. 44 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:30,539 Well, I'm glad you brought your reading glasses. 45 00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:33,220 Now could you just bring the rest of you? 46 00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:36,179 First, tell me who else is at home. 47 00:02:36,620 --> 00:02:38,372 Darrin is playing golf. 48 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:41,017 Then I guess it's safe. 49 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,569 Esmeralda, do you like Mother Goose? 50 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,258 Does she like me? 51 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,695 I'm sure she would if she met you. 52 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:54,051 If you'll read to Tabitha, I'll tend to Adam's appetite. 53 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,977 I'd love to, Samantha. 54 00:02:58,380 --> 00:02:59,608 All right. 55 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,533 It's a good book for reading. 56 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:06,970 - It has lots of pictures. - Yes, I see. 57 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,297 Hello? 58 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,536 Hi, Mrs Stephens. How are you? 59 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:19,375 You are? 60 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,848 You do? 61 00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:24,093 Right away? 62 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:29,613 Well, as a matter of fact, I am rather busy. 63 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,375 Well, if it's an emergency, 64 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,298 perhaps you better come over and tell me about it. 65 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,297 Say, in a couple of hours? 66 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,015 You're at the corner drugstore? 67 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:46,692 Well, all right, Mrs Stephens. I'll expect you. 68 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:47,969 Bye-bye. 69 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,453 Oh, good grief. 70 00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:54,091 Esmeralda, who's Mother Goose? 71 00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:56,654 Mother Goose? Well, now, let me see. 72 00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:58,657 Mother Goose was... 73 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:01,658 Mother Goose was... 74 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,533 Oh, dear me. I've done it again. 75 00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:17,220 I've just got to knock off that sneezing. 76 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,013 - Mother Goose! - Oh, yes. 77 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,574 I'm Mother Goose. But who are you, child? 78 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,294 You can't be Miss Muffet. You have no tuffet. 79 00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,253 - I'm Tabitha. - How did I get here? 80 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:33,693 Well, you see, I'm a witch, but my powers have sort of gone flooey. 81 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,050 So sometimes when I sneeze or hiccup, 82 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:39,172 the involuntary act generates abnormal powers 83 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,576 which materialise the thought nearest my cerebellum. 84 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,619 I knew there would be a simple explanation. 85 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,935 Mommy! Mommy! 86 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,698 What is it, sweetheart? 87 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,697 Look who's here! 88 00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,931 Oh, my goose! It's Mother Stars. I mean... 89 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:59,494 How nice to see you, Mistress Mary. 90 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,417 Are you quite contrary? 91 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,811 I'll say I'm quite contrary. 92 00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,932 - You're mad. - No, I'm just... 93 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:10,733 Mad. I don't blame you. 94 00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,532 I'm so embarrassed. 95 00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:18,889 Esmeralda, please don't go. I'll be right down. 96 00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:16,850 Esmeralda, come back. 97 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:18,971 She forgot her glasses. 98 00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:23,849 I say, that is a good trick. 99 00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:26,619 - How does she do it? - Well, she doesn't exactly do it. 100 00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:29,891 It's just something that happens when she gets upset. 101 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:34,009 - She gets upset a lot. - Oh, yes. 102 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,893 Well, would you mind telling me where I am? 103 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:40,535 It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't think of it. 104 00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,973 You are in the 20th century. 105 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,938 Oh, child, you jest. 106 00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:53,253 No. No, no, no. Esmeralda sneezed, and you're here because of witchcraft. 107 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,769 - Well, I... - And in a moment, 108 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,892 Esmeralda will sneeze you back into your book, I hope. 109 00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:02,296 - Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda? - Excuse me, but what book? 110 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,695 Why, your book of nursery rhymes. 111 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,288 - These are my rhymes! - As you can see. 112 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,934 Oh, how delightful! 113 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:16,052 And they said Hey Diddle Diddle wouldn't last. 114 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,776 Well, what do they know? 115 00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,292 Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda? 116 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,970 That's probably Mother Hubbard. 117 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:30,251 I want you to stay out here with Tabitha. Please? 118 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,371 Well, certainly. 119 00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,380 Will you recite me Hey Diddle Diddle? 120 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,253 - Hi, Mrs Stephens. - Hello, Samantha. 121 00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,771 My, don't you look nice. 122 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:53,178 Oh, thank you, Samantha. I'm so glad you like my outfit. 123 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,131 I bought it this morning. 124 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,978 Well, good for you. 125 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,058 Well, what's the big emergency? 126 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,856 It's all over, Samantha. 127 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:08,255 - What is? - My marriage, dear. 128 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,691 - I have left Frank forever. - Again? 129 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:15,777 - What happened? - What happened? 130 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,460 He's impossible. That's what happened. 131 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:22,937 Well, he must have been impossible about something. 132 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,938 If he wants to live in the past, that's his business. 133 00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:30,497 I am a woman of tomorrow, and I intend to dress like one, Samantha. 134 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,372 Oh, I see. 135 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,139 I take it he doesn't like your new outfit. 136 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:38,300 Well, as a matter of fact, he doesn't. 137 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,060 That can be very irritating. 138 00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:44,293 Luckily I have you and Darrin to stay with. 139 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:48,417 - Stay with? - Well, I wouldn't dream of imposing 140 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:51,008 if you didn't have that fabulous Esmeralda. 141 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:55,771 Oh, yes. Esmeralda. She is a treasure, isn't she? 142 00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:59,977 Fabulous. A treasure, did someone say? 143 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,772 Oh, there you are. 144 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,697 Have you been here long? 145 00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:06,288 Oh, yes. Yes, right along. 146 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,888 Imagine not seeing a person 147 00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:12,535 when that person has been right next to you all along. 148 00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:14,609 Imagine. 149 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,379 Would you excuse us for just a minute? 150 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:28,655 Of course, dear. I'll just sit and rest, and try not to think about anything. 151 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,657 I do like your mother-in-law. 152 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,850 Yes, but a mother-in-law and a Mother Goose 153 00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:37,655 in the house at the same time are definitely too much mother. 154 00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:40,658 Well, just be patient. Mother Goose will fade. 155 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,816 My spells always do, you know, sooner or later. 156 00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:46,171 Yes, yes, I know, but it's the "later" that worries me, when Darrin gets home. 157 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,695 Should I make up the guest room? 158 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,409 - What for? - Your mother-in-law. 159 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:57,290 One thing we know for sure, she's not going to fade. 160 00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:58,978 That's comforting. 161 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:06,532 Yes. I guess you better make up the guest room. 162 00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,649 This is especially good sherry. 163 00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:25,010 - Have some more. - If you insist. 164 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:29,888 You know, Samantha, Esmeralda is really remarkable. 165 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,293 I could've sworn there was no one there, 166 00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:38,936 and then, all of a sudden, there she was, out of the blue. 167 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:42,735 Esmeralda prides herself on being unobtrusive. 168 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:46,375 I was just wondering... Oh, I didn't know you had a guest. 169 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,532 Mrs Stephens, this is my aunt. 170 00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:54,016 Your aunt? Nonsense, child. I'm Mother Goose. 171 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,657 And I'm Little Bo-Peep. 172 00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,695 But I thought you might be Mother Hubbard. 173 00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:04,336 Oh, no. No, no, no. This is Mrs Stephens-in-law. 174 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,257 I mean, my mother-in-law. 175 00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:09,076 I was wondering if you might have some curds and whey 176 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,419 for Little Miss Muffet and me. 177 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:13,418 If you'll go out to the kitchen, you'll find some. 178 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,576 - Lovely. - In the refrigerator. 179 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,536 Icebox. Marked "cottage cheese." 180 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,810 Cottage cheese. How odd. 181 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:27,176 Mother Goose. How odd. 182 00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:31,811 Mrs Stephens, you'll have to excuse my aunt. 183 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,497 She really does think she's Mother Goose. 184 00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:39,531 Tell me something, Samantha. 185 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,489 Is your whole family wacky? 186 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,975 As wacky as witches, Mrs Stephens. 187 00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,615 - Oh, hi, Sam. - Hi. 188 00:11:56,740 --> 00:12:01,256 Forgive me for barging in like this, but I know Phyllis is here. 189 00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,976 What makes you think she's here? 190 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,898 She left this forwarding address for the mailman 191 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,739 in a place where I'd be sure to see it. 192 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,454 - Where'd she leave it? - In my money clip. 193 00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:17,490 That's so you'd remember to drop it off when you went to the post office. 194 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:18,769 Goodbye. 195 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:26,013 Phyllis, I don't know why you're so upset. I honestly don't. 196 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,978 That just shows you how insensitive men are. 197 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,331 - All I said about your new outfit... - Frank, I know what you said. 198 00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:37,339 - You said, "Now, that's an outfit." - Well, it is an outfit. 199 00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:40,816 That is not what you meant when you said, "Now, that's an outfit." 200 00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,498 I meant that's not an outfit? 201 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:46,249 Frank, you know very well what you meant and it wasn't at all nice. 202 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,257 Now, if you'll excuse me, 203 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,651 I'm going upstairs and have one of my sick headaches. 204 00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,529 Women. 205 00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,490 I think they were invented to confuse men. 206 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:07,172 And who might this gentleman be? The Farmer in the Dell? 207 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,814 Oh, no. No, this is my father-in-law. 208 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:14,650 This is my aunt, but her friends call her Mother Goose. 209 00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:20,697 - I'm glad to meet you, Mother Goose. - And I to meet you, kind sir. 210 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,375 Well. 211 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:26,293 You know, there's a great deal to be said for the old-fashioned lady. 212 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,210 What a pretty compliment. 213 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,490 Would you like to come out into the garden with me 214 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,339 while I feed Miss Muffet her curds and whey? 215 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,098 I wouldn't miss it. 216 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:48,049 - Sam, I'm home. - Just what I needed. 217 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,648 Little Boy Blue to come blow his cool. 218 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:56,692 Well, that was a quick 18 holes. 219 00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:59,380 Larry forgot to reserve our starting time. 220 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,379 - We didn't even tee off. - Then you didn't lower your handicap. 221 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,060 No. I just raised my blood pressure. 222 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:09,138 Well, you didn't have to leave home to do that. 223 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,418 Sam, what's wrong? 224 00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:14,452 We have a small disaster here, too. 225 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:18,294 To begin with, your mother's here. 226 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,854 Well, I'd hardly call that a disaster. 227 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:23,813 I said to begin with. Your father's here, too. 228 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:26,249 He's out on the patio. 229 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,775 And what's so terrible about that? 230 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,577 With Mother Goose. 231 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,380 What? 232 00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:37,653 Well, it's nothing to be concerned about. 233 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,532 Tabitha's chaperoning. 234 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,568 I know I'll hate myself for asking, 235 00:14:46,780 --> 00:14:49,135 but what's Mother Goose doing here? 236 00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:54,858 Well, I was reading to Tabitha when Adam started to cry, 237 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:57,858 so I yoo-hooed for Esmeralda to come over and read to Tabitha. 238 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,836 Then your mother called and said she was coming over. 239 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,860 And Esmeralda sneezed, 240 00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:03,196 and all of a sudden, there was Mother Goose and your mother. 241 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,220 Then your father arrived. 242 00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:07,855 If Mother Goose doesn't fade out right away, she can keep Tabitha entertained. 243 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,335 I bet you've never heard "Jack Sprat could eat no fat" 244 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,688 as told by the author. 245 00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:15,256 And how long are you gonna let me talk before you kill me? 246 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:23,252 Really, sweetheart, you're going to enjoy meeting Mother Goose. 247 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,497 And what does one say when one meets Mother Goose? 248 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,339 Try, "Once upon a time." She'll love that. 249 00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:31,655 I sometimes wonder what we'd do for kicks 250 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:34,135 if it weren't for the trouble your family gets us into. 251 00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:37,172 My family? Now, just a minute. 252 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:41,253 The reason we have a problem is that your mother had a fight with your father 253 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,371 and took refuge in our house. 254 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:47,857 Okay, Samantha. Okay. It's my family's fault, and I'll handle it. 255 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,211 - Good. - With the direct mortal approach. 256 00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,534 I'm going out to the patio 257 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:56,050 and tell my father to go upstairs and take my mother home. 258 00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:01,579 Gee, I wish I had thought of that. 259 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:06,932 Read me another one, please. 260 00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:09,016 Oh, well. Oh, here's one. 261 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:14,009 "Jack, be nimble. Jack, be quick. Jack, jump over the candlestick." 262 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,176 Hello, everybody. I hope I'm not interrupting. 263 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,849 - Hi. - Now, don't tell me. Let me guess. 264 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:23,370 Georgie Porgie. That's who you are. 265 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:24,694 Georgie Porgie. 266 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:28,051 He's not Georgie Porgie. He's my daddy. 267 00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,058 And he's interrupting a delightful performance. 268 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,775 - Dad, I have to talk to you. - It can wait. 269 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:36,655 How's Mrs Stephens? 270 00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,772 She's all settled in nice and cosy, and I think I'm going to fade. 271 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,458 There's no need for you to fade, 272 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:43,810 at least not until you've gotten rid of Mother Goose. 273 00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,851 You sure know how to hurt a witch. 274 00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:48,175 Just don't fade. 275 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,736 If it was your fault that your father-in-law was flirting with Mother Goose, 276 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:54,396 and your mother-in-law was practically passed out in the guest room, 277 00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:55,899 what would you do? 278 00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,295 Well, when you put it that way... 279 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,856 Well, so much for the direct mortal approach. 280 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,740 My father is so fascinated with Mother Goose, 281 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:04,611 he wouldn't even listen to me. 282 00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:07,300 That may be an idea. 283 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:11,174 Esmeralda, will you go get Tabitha and take her up to her room? 284 00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:14,930 This may be just the thing to bring your mother to her senses. 285 00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,620 Could you think that through a little slower, please? 286 00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,776 Well, when she sees your father with Mother Goose, 287 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,733 she'll be the same as any other wife, jealous. 288 00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,495 My mother jealous of Mother Goose? 289 00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:27,778 Darrin, believe me. 290 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,415 You don't have to be a witch to be wise in the ways of wives. 291 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:32,939 Or something. 292 00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,209 Come on. 293 00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,491 Mother, may we come in? 294 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:49,010 Oh, Darrin, I'm so glad you're home. 295 00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:53,179 A son can be such a comfort to a poor, wretched mother. 296 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:56,610 - How's your head? - Don't ask, dear. 297 00:17:56,740 --> 00:18:00,858 Why should I bore you with the details of my throbbing pain? 298 00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:08,373 I think what you need is a little fresh air. 299 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:20,379 "Uh-oh" what? 300 00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:25,975 Do you think you could choke down a little milk toast? 301 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:30,093 Samantha, I want to know what you're uh-ohing about. 302 00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:32,459 Oh, nothing. 303 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,935 People do not "uh-oh" about nothing. 304 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:37,528 Well, it's nothing that would interest you. 305 00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,174 Is that funny aunt of yours still here? 306 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:44,050 Yes. As a matter of fact, she's out on the patio. 307 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:46,250 With your estranged husband. 308 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:50,696 Cute couple, aren't they? 309 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:56,698 You know, I think I will try just a bit of fresh air after all 310 00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,299 for my headache. 311 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,613 But all in all, I've written well over 500 rhymes for children. 312 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:09,777 I'm proud to say that they're still popular. 313 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,176 Oh, yes, yes. You know, one of my favourites was... 314 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,533 How does it go now? 315 00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:18,697 "Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub..." 316 00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,890 One thing you can say about Frank, 317 00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:24,695 he's polite chatting with that old lady about Rub-a-dub-dub. 318 00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:29,336 Actually, one of the very first I wrote was about Jack Sprat and his wife. 319 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,655 Would you like me to tell you how that came to be? 320 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,498 Well, yes, I would. 321 00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:37,688 But first, let's talk about us. 322 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,530 Now, why did I say that? 323 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,220 You were gonna tell me about Jack Sprat. 324 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:50,288 Well, you remember how the line went, "His wife could eat no lean"? 325 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:52,490 Long-winded, isn't she? 326 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:57,011 Mother Goose, this is fascinating. And perhaps you'll tell me more 327 00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,699 when we take a spin in my new carriage. 328 00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:04,370 That would be delightful. 329 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:08,778 A spin in my new carriage? I don't have a new carriage. 330 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,811 Your old one will do. 331 00:20:10,940 --> 00:20:13,010 I don't even have an old one. 332 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:17,897 Why go anyplace? I enjoy your company right here. 333 00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:22,530 - Do you mind? - Oh, not at all. 334 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:28,218 - You know, I've been thinking... - I'll bet you have, 335 00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:30,774 about the new life waiting for you. 336 00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,855 - New life? - Oh, yes. 337 00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:38,053 - After the divorce, you'll get an exciting job. - Job? 338 00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,136 Probably in electronics. 339 00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:43,255 I don't know anything about electronics. 340 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:45,416 I'll bet you can hardly wait. 341 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:48,691 I could wait a little while. 342 00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,812 Why wait? You certainly don't have to worry about how Dad's gonna take it. 343 00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:56,413 He's gonna be very happy with Mother Goose. 344 00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:18,170 What I saw could not possibly have happened. 345 00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,698 What did you see? 346 00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,380 Mother Goose just changed into a goose. 347 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:29,493 It must be the sherry. That's Italian sherry, very strong. 348 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:32,373 Oh, no. No, Samantha, let's face facts. 349 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,570 I'm starting to see things. 350 00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:37,817 Mother Goose? 351 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,536 Mother Goose, where have you gone? 352 00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:45,174 Oh, dear. I wonder if I sneezed another no-no. 353 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:50,337 Another no-no. 354 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,215 Mother Goose. Mother Goose. 355 00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:03,899 It's all right. 356 00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:08,691 We only think we're seeing a pair of glasses hanging in midair. 357 00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:18,408 We only thought we saw a pair of glasses hanging in midair. 358 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:26,260 I only thought I was talking to a goose. 359 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,774 Frank! Frank. 360 00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:37,537 Daddy Bear is here, sweetheart. 361 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,571 Frank, I want to apologise. 362 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,215 I don't want to be the woman of tomorrow. I just want to enjoy today. 363 00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,934 Phyllis, I'm glad to hear you say that. 364 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,335 It may be later than we think. 365 00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:52,489 Frank, did you see a goose on the patio? 366 00:22:52,620 --> 00:22:54,531 I thought I did. 367 00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,015 Then there's only one thing to be said, dear. 368 00:22:57,140 --> 00:23:01,611 If we're going over the hill, it's nice to be going together. 369 00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:13,016 They're only going over the hill. 370 00:23:13,140 --> 00:23:15,051 I'm going off my rocker. 371 00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:17,933 Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda? 372 00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,539 Samantha, what are you doing? 373 00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:22,652 Well, I'm just trying to get Esmeralda back so you can thank her. 374 00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:25,294 - For what? - Darrin, 375 00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:27,217 when your mother arrived this afternoon, 376 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:30,889 she was a tragic figure, her marriage beyond repair. 377 00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:35,571 And now, thanks to Esmeralda, two happy people just walked arm in arm 378 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,930 out of our front door onto the... 379 00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:41,295 Not one more word. 29724

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