All language subtitles for [ OxTorrent.cc ] Les.Bronzes.1978.HDLight.1080p.TrueFrench.x264-Ox

French Fried Vacation

- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
- Good evening!

I know you're all tired
from the three-hour bus ride.

Unfortunately, I have some bad news
for you. The police just called.

We forgot to do some paperwork.
You have to go back to the airport.

Just kidding!

Great joke.

Welcome to Galasouinda!
Welcome to Galasouinda!

I'm Marcus, chief of the village.

During the trip, Guylaine gave each of you
a wonderful hut,

and the GO team is waiting for you
with the bags,

which arrived five minutes
before you by truck,

to take you to the village.

I'll see you tomorrow at 7:00 for
breakfast. And now, goodnight to you all!

Goodnight!

This is a great start.

- It's nicer in Paris.
- It's nothing. Just a drizzle.

It's raining, it's pouring!

- Flashlights, quick!
- It's nothing, just some blown fuses.

This wasn't in the brochure!

- Can we get some light over here?
- Has anyone seen my suitcase?

Excuse me, but you're stepping on my feet.

- Have you seen Guylaine?
- No.

Are you sure that's your suitcase?

I'm not in the habit oftaking
other people's suitcases.

I don't have my little bag.

They're not suitcases.

It's a frog party!

- What am I stepping on?
- Hey, that's my bag.

- Well?
- Let go of the suitcase.

- Take your suitcases.
- Excuse me.

- This way, this way!
- This way, this way!

Your attention, please!

Those with huts named after seafood,
Oyster, Clam, etc.,

this way, please.

- What about me?
- Let's go, this is great!

We're having fun!

- There's the Prawn. I'm in the Mussel hut.
- Help, I twisted my ankle!

I'm taking the Sole, Dab, Lemon Sole,
Bass, Sea Bass and Pollack huts.

As for those huts named after fruit,
Guylaine has the plans down there.

This way, fruit!

- That way. It's that way.
- The path is lit here.

Hey, wait for me!
My suitcase just came open!

Are you really sure that's your suitcase?

Oh, get lost. You're pissing me off.

- Abalone!
- What?

Where's the Abalone hut?

There isn't an Abalone hut.
Maybe it's Apple.

It's on the other side of the village...

Occupied!

- The hut is occupied. What do I do?
- No, those are the toilets!

- I'm looking for the Apple hut.
- There is no Apple hut.

Abalone is at the other end of the village.
With the seafood.

Unbelievable. Someone just told me
that it was on this side!

It really is incredible.
Someone told me it was this way. Shit!

Calm down,
there are people sleeping in here.

- Shut up, Scorpion Fish!
- Hey, relax. We're on vacation.

Fuck you, Belgian! Fuck you!
Where did you come from?

- Is there a Lost and Found?
- Yes, in the Tufted Duck hut.

You have to go tomorrow.
It's closed at the moment, my friend.

My pyjamas are in there.

Enjoy your meal.

Hi, how's it going?

Well, you know.

I was up all night with a girl.

- With whom?
- I don't know.

A new bird that got here last night.
I wouldn't even recognise her.

We shagged in the bus
during the power failure.

Hey, look. That might be her.

I think it's her. Look, look!

It's her.

- Where?
- There.

- Hello, Popeye.
- Hello.

It's her. She recognised you.

How are the GO's doing?

In shape?

- Yes.
- In the shape ofwhat?

- This bloke's great, right?
- Yes.

- He's too much.
- Oh, yes.

Did you see his skit yesterday?
He knows what he's doing.

- Hi. Bobo, come to reception.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Come see us at Galasouinda.

There is sun and there are birds.

We'llstick it in up to there.

Push the banana and grind the coffee.

We'll have fun everynight.

- Hi, Jerome.
- Hi.

- I brought you the sun.
- He brought us the sun.

He brought us the sun.

Come here. If you have
the slightest problem, I'm a doctor.

But try not to bother me for the
small stuff. I'm on vacation. Thank you.

Come see us at Galasouinda.

There is sun and there are birds

Jean-Claude Dusse, of Paris.
Jean-Claude Dusse.

I'm upset. I never found my suitcase.

- What's going on? Are you leaving already?
- No. But I never found my hut last night.

- Me neither. I couldn't find my wife.
- And I couldn't find my suitcase.

I was forced to spend the night
at the toilets with this charming woman.

You know, I can be charming
elsewhere besides at the toilets.

Of course.

It's not a big deal.
We'll sort it out for you.

- And what's wrong with this one?
- Nothing. I'm fine.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Gigi. It's a pleasure.

- Hi.
- Jean-Claude Dusse, of Paris.

- Hi.
- Christiane.

Bernard, nice to meet you.

Well, I brought you the sun in my luggage.

It's a good thing you didn't count on me.
Because if you had, we'd have foul weather.

'Cause she said,
"I brought you the sun in my luggage".

So I said, "It's a good thing
you didn't count on me

"because if you had,
we'd have foul weather".

'Cause I lost my luggage.

- Oh, yes! That's funny.
- Yes, right.

Listen up!

All the newcomers follow me,
we're taking a picture.

Yes, leaving. Leaving for the picture.

- You, too. Come on.
- It's the picture.

Follow me for the picture.

Listen up!

Move in, I can only see half of you.

Hey, the chap with the beard.
Move over a little to your right, please.

That's it.

Move in closer. You're hiding one another.

You're hiding the lady. Go on.
Sit down. Move over.

More. More to the left.
That's it. I can't see all of you.

- Again, again.
- Hey, that's my suitcase!

That's mine!

Hey, keep smiling back there.

Let's go. I can't see everyone.

That's it. Great. Move in a little closer.

Okay, don't move. One, two, three.

I don't care, I'm wearing swimming trunks.

It's a shame. Someone moved.

Okay, so to make it up to you,

fruit juice cocktails on the beach
for everyone.

It's off to a great start.

Just wait and see.
The hosts here are a bunch of clowns.

Let's go!

So where were you?

I looked everywhere for you.
I didn't find my hut.

I had to spend the night at the toilets
with a charming woman.

Oh, you charmer. You cheated on me.

Okay, bring your glasses over.

Bring your glasses over.

Come on, have a little drink.

It's fantastic here, isn't it?

And to think,
I was on Montmartre yesterday.

Here.

- I'll tell you a funny story.
- Yeah?

- You know who Edith is?
- The fat one that works with computers?

"The fat one." She's not fat, just a bit
round. Well, her husband had a breakdown

and went to the south of France to rest.
The poor thing was a little lonely

so I invited her to dinner a few times.

- She wasn't too boring?
- No, in the end I got her to loosen up.

She relaxed. It's fantastic here!

And this is where the funny part comes in.

The second night I invited her to dinner,
I was exhausted after the meal.

I said to her, "Listen, Edith,
I'm sorry, but I'm going to bed".

And you know what she replied?

"Bernard, I hate sleeping alone."

Crazy, huh?

I thought it was sweet.

She stayed at the house for eight days
like that. Relaxed.

Really?

But it's over now, all right?
You know, finished.

- Are you swimming?
- No, I'm not dressed for it.

You know, in the end...
What happened in Paris

has brought me closer to you, I think.

Me, too. In a way,
it brought me closer to you.

- I'm glad you're taking it like this.
- No, I don't think you understood.

I meant to say that
it brought me closer to you

because the same thing
happened to me here. Funny, isn't it?

Oh, so you also...

- You had a fling here?
- Yes.

- A GO? A GM? Anyone I know?
- Well, both.

There was Jean-Mi, Loulou and Miguel,
the head of arts and crafts.

The head of arts and crafts? Do they
make nice things at arts and crafts?

Yes. He made me a beautiful gift.
A rattan ashtray.

Well, that's nice. And functional, too.

Well, if I've understood correctly,
I had better hurry up

because I'm two people behind.

- What do we do about the hut?
- What did you say?

I was wondering, do you think
it's off-limits for a couple

or can we bring a date there
from time to time?

What are you talking about?
I don't understand.

You understand very well, Nathalie.

Listen, Bernard. I didn't make plans.

- Come swimming. It'll do you some good.
- No, I'm a bit tired.

I spent a dreadful night with a twat
down at the bogs.

- See you at dinner?
- I didn't make plans.

I don't know where I'll be at dinner
or with whom.

Shit, my shoes.

Is someone there?

Are you staying in this hut, too?

Yes, hi.

Perfect timing.
Help me bring these things in.

I cleaned up a bit. It was disgusting.

I'm sorry, I thought I was alone.

I must have taken up a lot of room
with my things.

- Yes, you did. I put them there for you.
- Thanks.

I'm not used to it.
This is my first time at the Club.

- And you?
- I'm a passionate enthusiast.

- Well, everyone seems very nice.
- I'm a little afraid.

Hut villages have a reputation
for loose behaviour.

I usually stay in a bungalow,
but I signed up too late this year.

Anyway, they gave us quite the shower
this morning.

There you are.
That wouldn't happen to bungalow people.

People wouldn't accept it.

You have so many beauty products!

- Do you work in a department store?
- No, I have a salon.

I'm an aesthetician, to be precise.

- Really? In which district?
- No, no. Outside Paris.

It's impossible in Paris.
It's too hectic there.

It was really amazing. We got together
every Monday for two years.

We saw each other on Mondays
because that's when the salon was closed.

Did I tell you that? He was a hairdresser.

That's funny.
I close my salon on Mondays, too.

I used to close it on Tuesdays,
but it's so inconvenient with the weekend.

What are your names?

His wife found out about us
from one of the shampoo girls.

And, get this, she tried to
electrocute him with a hairdryer.

I had tax inspectors
in my beauty salon for three days.

So what are your names?

I was so depressed, I thought

I wouldn't have the strength
to come to the Club.

So he was very nice and he told me,

"My little Gisële, in order to save
our love, we have to break up".

- He did well.
- Because my name is Jean-Claude.

You'll see.
You'll get over it really quickly here.

What about that bloke with the brown hair?
Do you like him?

No. Oh, no.

No, you see,
I prefer men that are five years older.

And very distinguished, like Paul Newman.

And, most importantly,
with a slightly receding hairline.

Well, then, my dear...

I may seem a little
old-fashioned to you, but,

despite my colourful past,
I like them big, very muscular

and, most importantly,
blonde and with a crew cut.

Like a Nazi!

The two bitches can't even
be bothered to answer me.

Is everything okay back there?

You, in the robe, is there a problem?

It's hot, isn't it?

I'm going swimming.

- Jerk!
- He's completely nuts.

He's so rude.

We like to bother ladies, do we?

- Come on!
- Stop, I can't touch the bottom!

- Stop, I can't touch the bottom!
- Come on!

Come on. Yes!

Look! They stole his shorts!

Bourseault gives it back. Bobo passes.

Pass the ball! He takes
the ball and scores!

They're terrible!

- Hi, girls.
- You went too far.

May we, fair ladies?

I don't care, I have all the time
in the world. The water is great.

Come on, give them back to me.
It's not funny any more.

Come get them.

- You're arses, you know that?
- Come get them.

You'll catch a cold.

There.

Are you leaving?

I guess we don't have the same
sense of humour, huh?

Keep your skis parallel and
fasten the life vest.

- Stay calm.
- Yes.

The boat is powerful, don't worry.

- Look at him!
- Fasten the life vest.

The rope goes between the skis.

Water-skiing.

You can't hit...

Hey, gently!

Grab it by the middle. By the middle!

- Grab it by the middle.
- Yes, put it...

There.

I told you I couldn't do it!

For my souvenir album.

Thanks.

There is sun and there are birds.

And the Chinese bird, the little hostess,
has she been taken?

Yes, she's with me.

And her friend with the curly hair?

- She's with me, too.
- Oh, okay.

I'll take the nurse, then.

- No. She's with me.
- Oh, sorry, my friend. My mistake.

- Listen up, "friend".
- Yes?

- There are 500 GMs here.
- 500?

- Yes, take your pick.
- Yes.

- So you'll stay away from the GOs?
- Yes, okay.

What's the ratio of birds to blokes?

- That depends on the bloke.
- Yes, okay.

Good evening, GM friends. Enjoyyourmeal!

We're meeting this evening
at the amphitheatre

for the super GO show,
The GOs ofGalasouinda.

It will be followed by the Contactsoiree.

And now, a general toast, please.
Everyone fillyourglasses. Fill them up!

Come on, everyone. Come on.

Come on, please. Repeat afterme.

- Contact!
- Contact!

- Motor!
- Motor!

- And:.
- And...

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

And now, we'll hit the waves
to meet our fabulous water-skiing team!

First, Jacques!

Ourlittle nymph, Anne-Marie!

William!

And Rudi, ourAustrian friend!

Of course, all oursports activities
are coordinated by

the great, the majestic, the unbeatable,
ourchiefofsports, Popeye!

Dubbed "The Scourge ofCellulite"
byyou ladies.

- Let's hearit for the GO team, hip, hip, hip:.
- Hurray!

- Hip, hip, hip:.
- Hurray!

- Hip, hip, hip:.
- Hurray!

And now, I'll leave you in the hands of
our fantastic host, Bobo!

Thank you, thank you.

Now, before we move on to Crazy Signs,

I'd like to introduce you
to ourguest ofhonour.

He spends his evenings
in Parisian cabarets,

and we are luckyenough
to have him with us for a few weeks.

Our friend, Andrė Bourseault!

Attention, please. I hope no one
has already forgotten Crazy Signs.

We'll check byselecting a random volunteer.

- Moustache guy, right there!
- Oh, no. I don't know how.

Come on!

Give him a big round ofapplause!

What's your name?

- Jean-Claude Dusse.
- Pardon me?

- Jean-Claude Dusse.
- Jean-Claude Dusse.

- Do you know Crazy Signs?
- No, not really. I arrived last night.

No problem. And you, do you know them?

Yes!

No problem, it's not important.
We'llshow him how.

Ready? Music!

Come see us at Galasouinda.

There is sun and there are birds.

We'llstick it in up to there.

Push the banana and grind the coffee.

We'll have fun everynight.

Shouting agadaouba.

Shouting agadaouba.

Come see us at Galasouinda.

There is sun and there are birds.

We'llstick it in up to there.

Push the banana and grind the coffee.

We'll have fun everynight.

Shouting agadaouba.

Shouting agadaouba.

- How much is it?
- No, allow me.

- How much do I owe you?
- For both?

- Yes, both.
- One green, two whites.

Someone stole my necklace.

No problem, I'm buying.

You are not going to stop me
from having fun.

Remember, Bernard
has to push the object with his banana,

and Christiane has to put
the pen in the bottle!

Come on, you two.

Christiane is the winner! Bravo!

A big round ofapplause.

Bravo forBernard, too.

- It's allyours, Bourseault.
- Thank you, Bobo.

And now, Christiane,
because you won the game,

I have the verydelicate charge
ofhelping you findyourholiday fling.

Well, how do you like them?
Big, small orlike me?

- Big.
- Big. Okay.

- The hair?
- Blond!

Blond. Okay, so I'm out of the running?

And the eyes?

- Blue.
- Yes.

Both?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Okay, let's find Christiane a big,
blond bloke with two blue eyes.

- Bobo, have you found him?
- Yes, I think so.

- No, no!
- Yes! Yes!

- Leave me alone!
- Oh, come on...

His wife must be in the room.

Good night, sir. Good night.

- So, Bobo, have you found the rara avis?
- Yes, yes, I have. Here he is!

- Okay, okay. I'm all hers.
- Here he is!

He's almost blond, almost big,
and his eyes are almost blue.

Do you realise how luckyyou are,
Christiane? A big round ofapplause.

What's your name?

- Jerome.
- Jerome?

Jerome, Christiane. Christiane, Jerome.
Yes! They're hitting it offalready.

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Yes, Jerome.

On the lips! On the lips! On the lips!

A round ofapplause.
And now, ourholidaycouple.

Jerome and Christiane, Christiane
and Jerome, will open the dance.

Music!

Go on, Christiane! Go on, Jerome!
Wonderful. They're made foreach other.

It's funny,
I feel like I've met you somewhere before.

It's possible. You may have seen me
at Corfu or Chamonix.

No, that's not it.
This is my first time at the Club.

Well, people often confuse me
with Fernandel.

- Do you want to dance?
- Yes.

Popeye, can I dance
with one of your girlfriends?

Yes, actually, that works out for me.

Anna! Anna. No, no.

Dance with Jerome.

How's the hairdresser at the Club,
is he any good?

- I don't know.
- No.

Don't go to the Club, it'll cost you a
fortune. Go to the little village next to here.

There's a bloke. Tell him I sent you,
he'll work wonders.

- Aren't you dancing?
- No, we're chatting.

Have I seen you on TV?

No, but I might do a skit on TV
when we I get back.

I know the woman in charge of Stamp TV.

She's a good friend of my grandmother's.

- I'm going to sleep.
- Well, it's your loss.

No, I'm going to sleep
because I feel like if I stayed,

I'd surrender to you, I'd be a
fallen woman. That bothers me.

- Maybe it's better for you, then.
- Yes.

Bye.

- Hey, do you want to dance?
- What?

- Would you like to dance with me?
- No, I'm going to bed.

Hey, would you like to dance?

The nerve.

You're nice, aren't you?

- Would you like to dance?
- Yes.

- Would you like a cigarette?
- Yes, please.

They're just pictures of girlfriends
from past years.

They don't mean anything, you know.
Flings, nothing more.

All right, I'm going to bed.

Good night, we're going to bed.

Good night, we're going to get laid.

Bourseault is so funny! He cracks me up.

Yes, he's great.

He asked me if I wanted to do a routine
with him in Paris.

- Do you know the Chëne-Liëge?
- No.

That's where we'll do it.
It's five minutes by train.

Yes, the train is awfully practical.

- Bobo, can I put my head in your lap?
- Please do.

Careful, my fringe.

Pelletier! Georges Pelletier!
The Séquanaise Insurance Company!

You worked in disasters,
I was on the second floor.

Really? You were at the Séquanaise?

Yes, I started when Ms Michin
had health problems.

- That's so funny!
- Yes, funny.

You had a moustache then,
but you also had all your teeth.

I still have them, that's varnish.

Georges Pelletier!
If I'd thought before coming to the Club...

Listen, Gigi...

I'm through with the Séquanaise, okay?

I lost the suit, the tie, the moustache...

I put an end to that
entire part of my life.

So I'd like this to stay between us, okay?

Okay. Come on.

- Bobo?
- Yes?

- Can we go to your hut?
- Relax. We have lots of time.

You see the stars?

- Where?
- The Ursa Major, right there.

- The big one?
- Yes.

Just above the hut where they sell sausage.

- Yes.
- You see it?

It was over there at
the start of the season.

- Yes.
- Now it's there.

And after we leave, it'll still be there.

It can't be explained.
It's something I Iearnt at the Club.

That's my way of saying we have time.

What's on your mind?

It's damp and my arse is cold.

Can we go now, Bobo?

Sure.

Hey, wait. I'm coming.

Radio Galasouinda, hello!

Radio Galasouinda, hello!

Hello there. It's a beautiful day.
The water is minus three degrees.

We're expecting snow this afternoon.
If you go swimming, bundle up.

Have a great day!

8-6, to the left.

Your turn.

- Go back to your position.
- Oh, please.

- Are you in shape?
- I'm in perfect shape to lie down.

I got it! I got it!

8-7!

Would you leave me alone?

- Go back to your position.
- I am in my position.

- You got in my wayjust now.
- Oh, stop it.

Swimming competition in the pool at noon!
Sign up for it.

In the pool at noon.

Hi.

- How are you, Pelletier?
- Good.

So, girls, are you signing up
for the swimming competition?

No, not me. I swim like a rock.

- Really?
- I'd like to participate,

but I only do the sidestroke.

- See you soon.
- Really?

- And you do...
- Yes.

A little sunbathing and I'll be right back.
I'm going for a little walk. See you soon.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- What are you doing?
- What time is it?

- 11:00. Did you sleep there?
- Yes.

You didn't find your hut?

I did, but I got stuck
with a bloke who snores.

I got sick of lying awake,
so I came here to sleep.

I didn't sleep a wink all night.
I was attacked by bugs.

They're pretty harmless around here.

I'll show you my arms.
The mosquitoes had a feast.

After that, a lizard came into the bag.

I'm gonna have to be brought back
by Europ Assistance.

There's no doubt about it, you'll see.

Don't get carried away. You just got here.

I'm not, I can't handle the sun any more.

I like climates that aren't so damp.
Normandy, the Evre, all that.

You can't stay in there all day.

Go for a dip. You need a kick start,
you're turning blue.

- I'm turning blue?
- Yes, yes. Be careful, my friend.

Come on, let's go.

On your marks.

Get set!

Hey, Popeye!

Let me through, I'm a doctor.

By the hair! Grab him by the hair!

By the hair! There.

Wait.

Give him your arm.

Poor little guy.

- Are you all right?
- Feeling better?

Do you think we should take him
to the infirmary?

No, no, we'll get him to bed,
he'll cough up some water and be just fine.

He's crazy.

He's a pain.

Here it comes.

No! No!

No! Leave me alone! No! Don't leave!

- Calm down! Calm down!
- Leave me alone!

Doctor, I just recently Iearnt

that a drowned person can be resuscitated
even 24 hours later,

if the water is very, very cold.

- No.
- No?

No, not 24 hours. Two or three hours tops.

Actually, it sets off a very simple process

that blocks the alveoli.
It's called the diving reflex.

It occurs most notably in marine mammals,
such as whales, sperm whales, et cetera.

I get a rash every time I go swimming,
and the back of my throat gets itchy.

It's nothing. It's probably caused
by the sea water.

Save my seat,
I'm going to get some peaches.

As for me, I have gears that creak
every time I shift my 504 into second.

- Is it serious, Doctor?
- Listen,

just bring it in to the clinic
and we'll do an X-ray.

My husband loves Peugeots.

- Really?
- Right, Bernard?

- Do you know how to drive?
- No.

Parallel parking always throws me off.

- Hey, there's the drowned man!
- Jean-Claude.

- Can I have a seat?
- Please do. It's free.

- You scared us.
- Yes.

He's doing better.

- So, I got my kick start.
- Yes.

- Get a move on! Go!
- It'll be good this time.

- Lift your arm.
- Give it your best!

- Almost!
- Fantastic!

Are we coming back tomorrow?

The hairdresser did a great job.

- Really. Don't you think?
- It's spiffy.

It's hot in here.

It's short, huh?

It's short, but well shaped.
That makes the haircut.

- It's a groomed cut.
- That's true.

Are you sure he knows what he's doing?

- Yes, are you kidding?
- Of course!

He knows it empirically,
but he does know it.

- Next.
- Him.

- No, go on. I'm not in a hurry.
- No.

No, go on, because
he's better when you go first.

- I went yesterday. Go on.
- Yes, go on.

- Well?
- You don't need persuading.

Are there birds in there or something?

Please be gentle
because I'm not feeling well.

I hurt myself skiing.

Okay, everything's fine.

Wait! He already did this!
He already did this!

Yes, that's it. The kidneys!

Gently! We have lots of time.

Thank you, mates. Thank you.

It's helping.

He's pulling my hair! He's pulling my hair!

It's okay.

Thank you.

It's cold!

Oh, that's good, that's good.

It's scalding hot!

This is crazy. This is nuts!

No, gently. I was just
at the hairdresser's.

No, not the eyes. Don't wash the eyes.

Okay.

What's he doing to me? What's he doing?

I was afraid of this.

This is great, don't you think?

These people are getting on my nerves.

Wait, we'll take a group picture
with the kids.

- Okay, okay.
- With the Polaroid.

Christiane, will you take the picture?

- It's the picture...
- Then I won't be in it.

No problem. We'll take
a picture of you next.

- Go on, take the picture.
- Come on, let's go.

Okay, kids, come over here.

- Where should I go?
- I'll show you.

- All right.
- Come stand beside me, Bernard.

Move in nice and close. Smile.

You just have to push that green button.

- Okay?
- Okay.

- How's that, Bernard?
- Okay, go ahead.

Stop!

- Christiane, what did you do?
- I don't know.

I did exactly what you told me to do.

- My poor Christiane.
- Look at this mess!

My poor Christiane,
how could you be so stupid?

It's incredible.
A two-year-old could figure it out.

Would that look good on me?

- No, not at all.
- No?

It's not easy with blonde hair, you know.

Do you have this
but with long sleeves and a closed collar?

No, it's worn like that. You'll overheat.

Well, yes, but I have to cover myself.
I get bad sunburns. I have fair skin.

- Use lotion.
- I can't, I'm allergic.

Do you want to try my sun block?

- How much for the statue? The mask?
- 30,000 francs.

- How much?
- 30,000 francs.

- I like it. I'm taking it.
- Wait, wait. I'll bargain it down for you.

- How much did you want for the statue?
- I said 30,000.

You must be kidding.
It's worth 15,000 francs.

No, 30,000.

- 20,000 francs.
- No, 30,000.

- 25,000.
- No, 30,000.

- 27,000, plus the tam tam.
- No, give me 30,000.

Okay, fine. Give him 30,000. He's an idiot.

Thank you. Say, you know your stuff.

Look! I went a bit crazy.
It was love at first sight.

- What do you think?
- It's very, very nice.

It's very much your style.

I'm thrilled. Thrilled!

- What are you wearing?
- Lotion, to prevent sunburns.

You should try shoe polish.
Skin is leather, after all.

Really?

Something wrong? It's as ifthey've
never seen a woman before.

They put their hands on her arse.
We should file a complaint.

No. It is despicable, though.

- It's nice, huh?
- You think? It's not bad.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How much for the spices?

- 100 francs.
- 100 francs.

He's not bored, is he?

I'm sure they earn a year's worth
during this month.

I'll take the red ones.

- They're so red!
- Yes.

You're not bargaining?
No, not for the spices.

- There you are. Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Careful, sir. It's very strong.
- Yes, I know.

See these green peppers?
They're a little strong, but excellent.

I love them. I can eat tonnes of them.

- You want one?
- No, thank you.

I can't handle them.

You're a nitwit, they're an aphrodisiac.

By the way, where is your wife?

- One second.
- Yes.

About what we were discussing before...

I thought it over and I agree.

To what?

Well, what we talked about the other night.
I didn't agree then,

but I've thought about it and...

I mean, we can sleep together if you want.

It's too late now.

Really?

- Maybe it's better that way.
- What?

- I said, maybe it's better that way.
- Yes, maybe.

- So, Miguelito?
- Do you want a martini?

- I know what you're thinking.
- Yes, be careful.

- Oh, shit. What day is it?
- The 17th.

Damn!

You know, I completely forgot.
I have to do inventory tonight.

What inventory?

Well, I have to...
I have to count the equipment.

We itemise all the balls, the doodads,
the flippers, the masks. It takes hours.

Can't you do it tomorrow?

No, because people use them
during the day.

That's the problem, you see. That's why...

You know what we should do?

You go back to your place,
and I'll come over if I finish early, okay?

Okay.

- What hut are you in?
- Banana.

Banana. Okay. All right, bye.

Come on, sweetheart, I worked it out.

Shit!

Hey, Jerome, it's not getting better.
You're all green.

- Maybe the peppers were rotten.
- I don't know, but there's gurgling.

I read about something incredible,
it's a soy-based anti-hydraulic.

They already have it in the US and Japan.

It won't reach France
for at least 10 years

since the market is
completely blocked by trusts.

Watch out. I have a feeling
the tall guy is going to shag your wife.

I'm going to the infirmary. Bye.
I have the runs...

So, are you happy?

It's funny. I didn't
think I would shag you.

- Really?
- I swear. I didn't think I'd have the time.

You want a shoe horn?

No, it's fine.
I always buy them a little too small

and then they're pain to take off.

Let me tell you something
that will make you happy.

- Yes?
- Yes.

I've shagged over 80 birds
since the season started.

And, without exaggerating,

I have the feeling you'll
be in the top 10, 15.

That makes me very happy.

- You're very tidy for a bloke.
- Yes, that's why I'm always impeccable.

The first time I saw you,
I said to myself, "He should be in movies".

In powerful movies where things happen,

- like Maciste, Hercules:.
- Yes.

There are bad ones, too, you know.

Yes, I've seen some
that have made me laugh.

I've seen some bad ones. But anyway,

I could never do it. My arms are too small.

I couldn't even pick you up if I wanted to.
Watch this.

Look at poor embarrassed Maciste.

- It's Maciste!
- Popeye!

Oh, stop it.

You make me laugh.

You know, people who
don't know you, get the

impression that you're
a block of concrete.

And yet, deep down, you're rather fragile.

Why do you say that? Because of my foot?

No, I wanted to say that
you're fragile in the head.

In my opinion, you're
so incredibly sensitive

that you have to let
women have you easily.

Birds? Me? Okay, okay.

Only one woman ever had me,
and that was my wife.

And I respect her.

And I can tell you

that she's not the last slut to bed
the first arsehole who comes along.

All right.

Popeye, you should change your underwear.

These are fine, aren't they?
They're from this morning.

No, it's not that.

It's the shape. It ruins
the persona a little.

Well, worry not, my dear.

It doesn't ruin what's inside.

So, tell me. Your husband doesn't care?

You know, you could play like him
if you practised for half an hour a day.

It's very effective,
but it's actually quite simple.

It's based on a technique
of arpeggios and broken chords.

And harmonically, it's very elementary.
It's major chords, dominant sevenths.

- Oh, yeah? That's it?
- Yes, that's it.

It is pretty, though.

Yes, but it's not very satisfying
for a musician.

Have you been a musician long?

I played classical piano at the 11th
district conservatory for four years.

I'm working on the harmonica now
which I enjoy more,

especially since I travel a lot.

Hey, do you know
Michael, RowyourBoatAshore? It's C, F, G.

All right?

- It doesn't look like it.
- Yes.

You seem very sad.

I'm tired.

It was the excursion.

Something to drink?
Would you like a brochette?

No, thank you. I just had a beer.

I don't like to mix in this heat.

- Okay, I'm going for a walk.
- Wait, I'll come with you.

Well, I'm going to sleep.

- Shit, the towel's there.
- So?

The towel is a code.

Popeye is with a friend
and is not to be disturbed.

You're pissing me off.
You've done this three nights in a row.

- Why, do you need it straightaway?
- Well, yes.

- Did you pick up?
- Yes.

Who are you doing?

- Christiane.
- Oh, the little devil.

You know, a big chimney like that
must blow pretty well.

- What's he saying?
- Nothing, nonsense.

- Hey, Bobo!
- Yes?

Bring her in. We don't mind.
We'll keep warm.

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

Okay, wait. I'll check.

Here's the situation,
Popeye is with a friend

but he said we could go in if we want.
It really wouldn't bother him.

Why not have an orgy while we're at it?

Oh, God, no.

Let's go to my hut. Gigi's never there.

What a drag.
It's at the other end of the village.

Come on, Bobo.

You know, the foursome thing
never occurred to me.

It's filthy with four people.
Even with two it's disgusting.

It's wonderful when a friendship blooms
between a man and a woman.

It's the best.

See, for example,
I'm walking you back to your hut.

That doesn't mean that something
is going to happen.

We're... friends.

- You're wife's not waiting for you?
- No, we're a very liberal couple.

Well, more her.

If I want to have a drink with a friend
in the evening

without her knowing, no problem.

Christiane's not coming back?
I'm not intruding?

Christiane spends her nights on the prowl
and she never brings anything back.

The poor thing.

I'm here to have a
friendly chat with you, but if

you want to sleep, just let
me know. It's no problem.

Oh, it doesn't bother me at all.

It's so rare to be able to talk
like this, as friends.

It's great that I can undress
in the same room as a man

without having to worry.

You think?

I find it so surprising
that people haven't even

- tried to understand...
- Not so loud. You'll wake everyone up.

We should just bring the beds closer
so we don't have to shout.

I'm shot.

I have a feeling I'll fall asleep next
to you without the slightest worry,

as friends.

You know what, Bernard?
This reminds me ofwhen I was little.

We weren't supposed to make any noise
at night at summer camp.

So we would tell funny stories
under the sheets.

- We'd laugh so hard. It was great.
- Yes, great.

What's gotten into you, Bernard?

- I thought we were here as friends!
- Don't worry. It's purely sexual.

- Gigi, are you there?
- Don't come in!

- Why not? Are you with someone?
- She's with a friend.

She's with a friend. What should we do?
Should we go to the beach?

No. We just walked 15 kilometres.
I can't keep going. I'm worn out.

Shall we reschedule for tomorrow?

Bye.

Don't hold this against me, okay?

- You want to play Scrabble in my hut?
- Yes, gladly.

So, Gigi, have you seen Bernard?
I've looked for him everywhere.

We don't see each other any more.
I prefer it that way.

Why? Was he rude to you?

No. But...

Even ifyou're very liberal, I'm still
a bit uncomfortable because of you.

- Did he talk to you about...
- No.

We don't usually tell each other all
the little details of our private lives.

It would take too long.

I made a blunder.

Rest assured, Nathalie, what happened
between us was purely sexual.

That reassures me.

It was the night
you were flirting with Popeye.

He was very, very sad,

I was sitting on his lap and suddenly
I felt his desire surge,

since he was embarrassed and all,

to make a long story short,
I invited him to my hut.

- I'll take these three. How much?
- 300.

But we talked a lot, too.

I have a special talent
for getting men to talk.

Very, very quickly,
they share everything.

Yes, I'm sure.

Nathalie, are you mad at me?

Not at all.
Could you put stamps on those for me?

I'm used to it. He already had an affair
with a twit in Paris so...

Thank you. They're nice, aren't they?

That's infuriating.

Yeah, he stinks. He
doesn't play well at all.

It's not easy to play
against a weaker bloke.

Or against a
stronger bloke, right?

Yes, that's right.

One minute.

It's been in the sun, obviously.

It bounced wrong. All right, my mistake.

- Bravo!
- Yes, good job.

It was good, but it wasn't on purpose.

- What's the score?
- 8-20.

For who?

Okay, 21. You'll never get it.

Twenty-one.

The ball, por favor.

Macaroni-man is not bad.

I didn't like him from the start.
Are you coming?

- Are you coming? Where are you, Nathalie?
- I got caught on a branch.

Give me your hand.

- Do you know where you're going?
- Yes, we're almost there.

It's really worth it
to get away from the beach.

Is it much further? I'm exhausted.

No pain, no gain, my dear.

I wish I was a kid
so I could build myself a cabin.

Here it is.

I could sit for hours without speaking
in a place like this.

Just contemplating.

It's true. There's nothing to say.

It's true, I have nothing to say.

"Azure, our beasts leapt with a cry."

"I awake, dreaming Anibe's black fruit."

"In its wart-like and truncated cup"

Saint-John Perse.

Do you always recite Saint-John Perse
with your arse hanging out?

It helps. Come swimming.

The water's great.

Come on. How long have you
and Bernard been married?

Five years.

It's funny that you ask me that.

- Does it concern you?
- Yes and no.

I think you're a wonderful couple.

- Really?
- Yes.

You're both very independent,
very in touch with your desires.

It's true,
your husband goes from pillar to post.

You sleep with Popeye.
And you seem fine with it.

Yes, we seem fine with it.

Nothing.

Come on, come swimming.
The water is great.

- I just hurt myself.
- Your little spot here is a landfill.

- I'm sure there are rats.
- There aren't any rats.

- Where are you going?
- Poorjerk.

"Poorjerk"? What are you talking about?

Come on, don't be silly. The water's great.

There's an animal! There's an animal!
Wait for me, there's an animal.

Up! Up!

Okay, here we go.

Let's go!

- You're leaning forward too much.
- Give him the skis.

Put your cap on properly.

Let's go.

Get in the water.

No, no...

Go on.

Hold him by the shoulders.

- Give it your best shot.
- Wait.

The Galasouinda sports team
is pleased to offer champagne

to our friend Big Lenny, who managed
to stay on his water skis after 14 tries.

Thanks to our instructor, Anne-Marie.

- Okay, the kiss.
- Yes.

- And now...
- Popeye, I fell flat on my arse!

Champagne for everyone!

Come on, Bernard. What are you doing?

If you take big rocks
you won't get them to skip!

Let me try.

Oh, no! Did you hurt yourself, Bernard?

- Did you hurt yourself? Did you get dirty?
- I fell.

- What are you doing?
- I hit someone on the forehead!

Let's get out of here.

- Say, "Truck".
- Why?

- Say, "Truck".
- Okay, fine. Truck.

- Honk, honk!
- Oh, no.

Now you say... You say, "Shoe".

Shoe.

What is she doing? No.

They weren't expensive.

Hey!

No, not my bag. That's going too far.

No, Nanard. Stop. Stop!

No!

- We're crazy. We're so crazy.
- We're crazy but it's good.

Listen, Bernard,
I just got scared all of a sudden.

Don't be scared.

Do you have a cigarette?

Do you have a cigarette?

- Can I sit with you?
- Yes.

- What?
- Am I interrupting?

- No.
- No.

I'm sorry. I don't
usually tell my life story

but since I absolutely must
talk to someone...

We were the only ones around, huh?

Yes, that's right.

Do you have a light? I don't.

Give me a minute.
It doesn't say "tobacco" here.

I got back home

and my wife was in bed with the equipment.

- With what?
- Mimi, the head of equipment.

He's a poor bloke,
stays for the season to upkeep the...

Since he was always alone,
we thought he was gay.

He wasn't.

- I'm going to smash his head in.
- Listen, Popeye, don't overreact.

You're not the first person
this has happened to.

- Well, you're used to it, obviously.
- Excuse me?

I don't know what you bench press
with that physique ofyours but...

- I manage.
- Go on, cry about it.

Well, I'm going back home.

She must have gotten pissed off
or something.

I understand.

She has no idea how much she hurt me.
Plus, it happened at a bad time.

This evening, for example,
I was almost happy to go back.

- Struck out, eh?
- Shut up, would you?

And what's more, it's
extremely hard for me.

I grind my teeth but I have cavities.
It hurts like hell.

I know that I may seem like
a block of concrete,

but in reality,
I'm incredibly fragile in my head.

Actually, it was your wife
who told me that last night.

Listen, that's enough.
We can do without your comments.

- I'm pissing you off.
- Yes.

- Yes, I see that I'm pissing you off.
- No.

Can you hand me another cigarette?
I'm gonna need it.

Shit! It's been a crazy
night. After I saw that,

I went for a swim to try and forget it all,

and some asshole threw a rock
at my forehead.

I can't cope any more.

Hey, my...

- What is it?
- Don't leave with my pack.

Right.

I'll leave you one, okay?

All right, bye.

He's astounding.

Touching.

If you didn't know him, you might think
he was narrow-minded. And later you see...

You see that he's ajerk, yes.

I think that he's very vulnerable.

And as a woman, I want to protect him.
You don't?

No. I'd rather protect others.

He's so stupid he's entertaining.
He should be in the circus.

- You're harsh, Bernard.
- No. He goes from pillar to post,

but he can't bear his wife
doing the same thing. It's deplorable.

It's natural. It's instinctive.

He reacted like a child.
It's heartbreaking, isn't it?

Yes, yes.

Listen, Christiane,
let's think about the two of us.

Yes. Yes.

Give me your lips.

Hey, whatever your name is.

- What's your name again?
- Christiane.

You want to see something, Christiane?

- Will you wait for me?
- Yes.

Bernard, I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye, friend. Thanks.

No plans, no plans.

Popeye. Please be very careful,
I'm not on the pill.

I bet you think I'm a loose woman.

Bastard!

The bastard!

Hi. Are you alone? Where's your wife?

I don't know where my wife is.

I'm feeling a lot better.

I'm starting to get used to the sun,
the set-up, everything.

I ate with the Germans.
They're really nice.

It's funny, I don't speak their language
at all and I still had a wonderful night.

They sang war songs for me
in four-part harmony. We got along great.

I exchanged glances with a bird.
I think there may be a chance.

Really? Are you thinking of my wife?

No, why? Is your wife thinking about me?

The chap who drops a clanger.

- Do you have a cigarette?
- Yes.

No, I'll take the pack. I'll need it. Bye.

So you think there might be
an opportunity with your wife?

Okay, I'm going to sleep.

Oi Tsuki forward.

Back.

That's good.

Jean-Claude, calm down, okay?

Okay, we're going to see a new kick.

Today we'll see Mawashi Geri,
a circular kick.

It's called a Mawashi Geri circular kick,
because it's a kick that's

circular.

Jean-Claude, you're the most advanced,
come stand across from me.

Watch out for the floating ribs, okay?

No, only we need to salute.

Okay, so Jean-Claude is on guard,
and I'm standing southpaw.

Okay, now.
Although Mawashi is a circular kick,

you don't do it with a straight leg,
making a circle like this.

There would be no power,
it would be a kick...

Like this, for example. See?

There's nothing at all, you see?
There's nothing at all, Jean-Claude.

Mawashi is a much more powerful
kick than that.

Not when I pick up a cigarette.
The greeting isn't systematic.

Okay, Mawashi is done in three stages.

First stage, raise the knee to the side.

Second, the knee goes towards
the opponent, the supporting foot pivots.

In the third stage, the foot will
hit the opponent's head.

Here we are.

Shit, I pulled a muscle.

- Did you hurt yourself?
- Damn it!

It's the groin.

Jean-Claude, you continue the class.

Careful.

We'll begin with
a fairly fundamental exercise

that will prevent you from
taking a beating in a competition.

That is to say, blocking.

Christiane, please come here.
We'll do a little demonstration.

I can't. I feel a slight case of kyphosis
coming on.

Okay, then, Gigi.

So this exercise consists of
her attacking me however she likes.

I have no prior knowledge of her attack.

And I'll block that attack
using the appropriate technique.

- Okay?
- Yes.

When you're ready.

- That's so annoying.
- What? I attacked.

Okay, you come here.

You'll attack me in a blunt
and manly way, and I'll block.

Don't rush the movement, okay?

Let it come from within. It has to
come from far away, it's Japanese.

- When you're ready.
- Careful, I'm not wearing my box.

In a competition, you wouldn't say
to your competitor.

No, but I'm not interested in competing.

You don't know, mate.
It goes a lot faster than you think.

Here, look. Proof.
It hasn't even been two years.

When you're ready.

You don't feel it?
Okay, don't do it. That's right.

- Attack! Attack!
- Shit!

- You don't attack from behind.
- Come on, mates.

- I'll put a hole in your thorax, you jerk!
- I'm taking away your Iicence!

- This is garbage.
- Jean-Claude! Your Iicence.

Leave me alone!

Good! Good! Very nice.

Put some black on there to accentuate.

Accentuate, my boy. Accentuate.

Good. The yellow's good.

Very good!

Don't forget that light colours
add contours to the curve.

Look at her winking.

Good.

It's dull, it's dull.

Tell me, did you lose the key?

Yes. Well, no.

You like that, you pervert.

Bravo. Look. Look at how the female body

can become an amazing field
of investigation for pictorial art.

Very good!

Dirty! Nil! Two!

Hey.

Are you the one that makes
the nice rattan ashtrays?

No, why?

My wife told me there was an arts chap
who makes nice rattan ashtrays.

I love rattan.

If you hear anything about the bloke
that makes rattan ashtrays, let me know.

Sure.

Good, very poetic.

I think the bloke down there
just invited me to an orgy.

- Really? You think?
- I'm sure.

Remember, hitting each other
with the paddles is not allowed.

You're also not allowed
to hang on to another person's canoe.

Get ready to start!

On your marks.

Ready?

Wait, I'm seasick.

One, two, three. One, two, three...

We have to change our course.
This isn't good.

Look at that!

Come on, push a little.

- How's that?
- You bunch of shitheads!

Come on, we're winning.

He's helping with his hands.
He can't do that.

- Who cares? We're in the lead.
- You're pissing me off. Shit!

Bourseault!

Wait, we're coming. It's down that way.

- You take the canoe back, I'm wiped out.
- Help!

Quit your nonsense.
Can't you see it's heavy?

- Watch out for the caymans.
- What ajerk!

I can't do it. I'm not a man.

Christiane can't do it.
She said she's not a man.

It's true!

And for the winners of the canoe race,

- hip, hip, hip...
- Hurray!

- Contact!
- Contact!

- Motor!
- Motor!

And cheers!

That went well, huh?

Yes. It was pretty difficult
'cause we had to row a lot.

- Christiane!
- Yes?

This is André.

I was telling your friend
that it's a bizarre way of paddling.

Bravo. You did well.

The sea is awfully dangerous
after all, isn't it? It's calm here.

But in Glénan, there are holes
that are six or seven metres deep.

When you're sick, you can't go down.

Pardon me?

I noticed that you were
in the opposite direction.

He assured me that he'd done it before.
Clearly, he'd never done it.

So he crashed.

Those canoes are made to carry pineapples.

You need six tonnes of pineapples.
You sit back, and then you can paddle.

It's funny.
I don't know if it's the sea air or what,

but I have the feeling
I'm going to sleep like a log tonight.

Well, we won. We won.

The first time I noticed you, André,

was the day you stole Jean-Claude's shorts
and put them on his head.

- I was dying of laughter.
- Really?

I like that. It's so rare to meet a girl
with a sense of humour.

Hold me.

- Do you love me?
- Of course.

I adore you, Gigi.

I'll repeat the order and then
we're ready. An order of mussels, an

order of chips, two fried eggs, Number
4's cheque, sauerkraut with meat,

two caramelised apples, an order of boiled
beef, two coffees, one mixed,

the Munster that walks,
the Camembert that follows.

Mind your backs! I pack, I
demand, I remove. Hello, kitchen?

I knock and I say, "Toasted
bread with hop buds, a white hat,

"an order of mussels, an order of chips,
two fried eggs, Number 4's cheque".

Good, huh?

Bourseault! Bourseault!

Bourseault! Bourseault!

- One more! One more!
- Go on. Yes!

No, no. The mayonnaise is just right.
We shouldn't touch it.

Wait, I'll do the suitcase bit.

One more! One more!

One more!

Wait, Bobo.

One more! One more!

Refund!

You were fantastic, honey.

- I performed for you tonight.
- Really?

I got a cramp.

Poor guy.

Come on, quick. Music. Let's go.

"Number 4's cheque, boiled beef,
two caramelised apples, an order of..."

To you!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Do you know this one? My dear mother...

Can I have some water, please?

- What did you think of the show?
- It was really great.

Bourseault made me laugh so hard I cried.

He's hilarious, yes.

And the suitcase bit?

Good, good.

I didn't understand if it was crude
on purpose or if there was a joke...

- It was figurative.
- Oh, I see.

- Bobo, can I buy you a drink?
- Whisky.

A whisky. It's for me.

Bobo, the suitcase bit, no more, okay?

Well, no... Well, I...

You want a drink, Bobo?

- A little champagne for me.
- Corked, huh?

- Champagne? Whisky?
- A double.

And a double whisky for Bobo. Here we go!

You hit it hard. You're drunk.

I was dying of laughter behind the scenes.

Look!

Hey, your suitcase thing,

- was that about me?
- What?

Because I can have as many suitcases
as I want.

- I don't understand.
- Yes, yes. I understand.

- It's okay, then.
- No, it's not!

Hi, Paulo.

Is there any Comté left?

- Riche Monts?
- Yes, Riche Monts will do.

- And bread, too, please.
- Yes, yes.

There's always bread.

Go on, take the tray.

Here, you can carry the bread.
That way, you'll be sure to have some.

Bye, Paulo.

Wait.

Can you take the tray
and wait for me outside?

I have to tell Paulo something.

- Yes.
- Okay?

How much?

- Say a number.
- I don't know. Forty? Forty-two?

44.5.

- And what's the total?
- It is 3,827 tonnes.

Wow.

That means I've shagged
3,827 kilograms worth of birds.

I disgust myself sometimes, you know?

- And you, how many do you have?
- 125.

- Well, mate, you should get on it.
- And that was in one go.

Okay, yes.

Sir, ma'am.
So? What happened with last night's girl?

Well, I don't know how old she is,

but she likes cock.

- Excuse me, sir, ma'am.
- It's nothing.

Really?

Look, here she is.

- Hi, Popeye.
- Hi.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

- Come here.
- Are you going swimming, Popeye?

- You want some pineapple?
- No, thank you.

- Popeye!
- Quit fooling around!

Come on, Popeye.

Shit.

- You're crazy.
- I call that a rollmop.

An order of rollmops, an order of mussels,
an order of chips, two fried eggs...

It's my turn!

Wait, Bourseault.

Big Bourseault is jumping.

Go, Bourseault!

- Come on!
- Go!

We should give him a hand.

Gigi?

- Yes?
- Come here.

- Wait.
- I have to talk to you.

- It's about Bourseault.
- Listen, Bobo,

we had a moment, I like you a lot,
but it's over between us now.

I'm experiencing something sensational
with Bourseault,

I'm completely bursting...

- Listen, Gigi...
- No, Bobo. Drop it.

I want to be friends,
but let's leave it at that.

Okay, but that's not it at all.

What I have to tell you is...

I don't know how to tell you
without hurting you.

I don't want to be tactless.

Listen, Bourseault is dead.
He was stung by a stingray.

It's awful.

We were on the boat, messing around.
André dived in to make us laugh.

He said, "Beep, beep" and we responded.

The stingray stung him,
and he sunk like a rock.

It's awful. Here, I
brought you his flippers.

I thought you would like that.

Hey, Gigi. Are you eating? There's fish.

It's delicious, it's stingray!

What's with her?

Gigi!

Poor Gigi will do anything
to make herself interesting.

I didn't even say it
maliciously or anything.

No, you didn't.

I think there's something going on between
Bobo, Nathalie and Bernard.

I've noticed that there's friction
between Bernard and Nathalie.

You know, Nathalie's benefiting from it.

The entire camp has bedded her.

You haven't?

- Me? No.
- Well, why not?

I walk on eggshells around women.
I've had a rough year emotionally.

Me, too. I had tax
inspectors in my salon.

And I had a break-up.

We lived together for 48 hours
before she decided that we were separating.

I didn't handle it well.
I even tried to kill myself.

How?

No one gets very original at those times.

I put on Albinoni's adagio
and swallowed two tubes of laxatives.

I lost 16 kilograms and my carpet.

- That's annoying, huh?
- And I never really recovered from it.

Especially my digestion,
it's not like it used to be.

So you think I might have
a chance with Nathalie?

- You and Nathalie?
- Yes.

It's so obvious.
She's been wanting it since the beginning.

Yes, but there's the husband.

He doesn't care.
Frankly, I'd be wrong to deprive you of it.

Life is pretty funny.
I don't mind telling

you, I haven't touched
anyone since I got here.

I came close.

And when you think about
how much we pay, Jean-Claude...

Then all of a sudden,
there's one opening after another. Crazy.

Would you make a little room for me?
Excuse me. There.

I made you a beautiful fruit cup.

To do it right,
I would need a candied cherry.

Do to it right,
you should have peeled the banana.

You think so?

Would you like to go for a walk
on the beach with me?

- No, I'm going to take a nap.
- Yes, she's staying with me.

I'm staying with Raymond Oliver.
He's taking care of me.

- No, seriously.
- I don't know.

Maybe I'll talk to Bernard about it.
It'll make him laugh.

- No, I don't think so.
- I do think so.

- Bernard, you know what he said to me?
- No, stop! Stop.

I'm sure it will make you laugh.

- Do you know what he suggested?
- No, he doesn't.

He suggested that I sleep with him.

I was joking.
I had no idea what I was saying.

To do it right,
I would need a candied cherry.

Bernard, don't get upset.

Fuck, that makes me mad.
The whole camp's done her.

- Are you leaving Sunday?
- Yes.

Eight days is pretty short, huh?

Bernard, wait for me. I'm sick of this.

Bernard?

What if we stopped this nonsense?

- Are you tired?
- Yes, I'm tired.

Me, too.

I wanted to tell you,
those three blokes before you arrived?

That wasn't true.

Bitch!

The first one to the barge shags the other!

The butterfly.

- Are you doing better, Gigi?
- Yes, she's doing much better.

She'll come to the clinic for a week
for a check-up.

If it's not better by then,
we're considering a little psychotherapy.

I can't touch the bottom!
I can't touch the bottom!

Don't worry. Calm down.

- I can't touch the bottom, Jerome.
- Calm down.

Jean-Claude, are you coming? We're going.

I'm staying another eight days.
I think I have an opportunity here.

There were some jerks this week.

Not all of them. I met a really nice
Swiss psychoanalyst.

- Really? So what are you doing now?
- I'm leaving.

I'm taking the bus in two hours
with the Belgians.

So you're really leaving.

- What are you going to do?
- I don't know.

I can't take it any more.

I thought I could do what I wanted here

but once I try something original,
like the suitcase bit, it gets rejected.

I'm going to Paris.

You're right. Maybe the
suitcase will work better in Paris.

Because people are more relaxed,
they're coming from work and all that.

I'll meet up with Bourseault's friends.
I'm sure they'll help me.

You shouldn't stay here.
You should do something else.

You know, I...

You know, if I wanted to...

For example, I have the opportunity
to go back to Pétrole Hahn.

I would just have to leave on the weekend.

Well, I've seen you do a season here and
you seem to like it. Maybe it's your thing.

You say that because
of the nice women, right?

A tan makes all the difference.

I, for example, was never able to really
interest a bird.

I don't know why, really.

- Stop, you'll make me cry.
- No, it's true.

Things have been a drag
with my wife, too, since we got here.

- Oh, well.
- Go on, it'll be better tomorrow.

Are you sure
you don't want to stay another week?

You might find your match
in the new group.

Bye.

Hey, Bobo?

- What's you name?
- Georges.

- All right. Bye, Bobo.
- Bye, mate.

So you're leaving me all alone?

You know I'm staying
until the end of the season, right?

It'll work out for me, Bobo. I'm staying.

Well, there they are, the new arrivals.

Damn, there are some pretty ones.

Hey, Bobo. Look!

Wow, they're beautiful.

Damn! Look at the little one with...
The little one in blue!

And her friend, behind her with the bag.
Look at that!

That one's for you, huh?

It's us.