All language subtitles for Zeroman s01e06 Mutton In Common.eng

[police siren blaring]
[drum-heavy swing music]

[singing] It's
Zeroman! Ba da, ba da.

It's Zeroman! Ba da, ba da.

It's Zeroman! Ba da, ba da.

It's Zeroman! Ba da, ba da.

Save our city!

Ba da, ba da.

[flames roaring]

[fast-paced metal music]

[alarm bell ringing]

[people screaming]

Taste sweet freedom,
my minnowy minions,

and join me in my
army of the deep!

[Salmonella breathes heavily]

Freeze, Salmonella.

Zeroman!

Do you have any idea
what jostling that bag does

to little fishes?
It makes them woozy

and their bulgey eyes
to bulge even more.

Now put the fish
down and step away.

[Salmonella wheezes]

Your time is at
hand, my fishies.

Save me, save your queen!

So many tiny fins!

[Zeroman mumbling]

[motor whirring]

[tires screeching]

[motor accelerating]

[bones crunching]

I think we all know what's
wrong with this picture.

If Zeroman had ducked here
and thrown a head fake there,

he could have rolled left,
then picked Salmonella off

as she passed in the
car, avoiding injury

and serious embarrassment.

Yes. Excellent. Top
notch chalk talk there, Ty.

You would've made a
terrific man at action.

But instead, he's stuck
down here. Hey, Zeroman.

Watching others do what he
can only dream of doing.

Too bad.

And it's doubly too bad that
Ty can't share his invaluable

insight at this weekend's
superhero summit.

The one time each year when
superheroes and villains alike

vow to cease hostilities in
order to hone their craft.

And have room service. We
sure are gonna miss you, Ty.

Gary, we talked about this.

No eager untrained
sidekicks allowed.

So instead, I guess
you're stuck down here,

watching others do what you
can only dream of doing.

Too bad.

[Gary growls]

Welcome to the hotel. I
hope you enjoy your stay.

I'm hotel clerk Clark. If
you have any questions,

feel free to ask.

I have a question, Clark.

Why is this taking so long?

Patience, Impatient Guy.

Man, can we just check
in and get to our rooms

while we're still young?

And let this be a
first lesson to us all.

A superhero is always patient,
ever vigilant in his wait

for truth, justice,
and room keys.

The next two days are
designed to help us make the

best collective we
that we can be, and-

Enough already,
we get the point.

I mean, just
look at this place.

I don't think we could
have picked a more perfect,

out-of-the-way think tank,
completely closed off

from the outside world. Free
of distractions of any kind.

[glass shatters]

Booya!. Rusty and his gang
of nuts are in da house.

Zeroman!

Rusty Woodenwater.

What are you and your band
of no-goods doing here?

Well, I could ask
you the same thing.

[suspenseful music]

Well?

Oh, is it me? We booked
this fine family establishment

for our superhero summit.

Impossible. We booked
this rundown dive

for our own supervillain summit.

Well, that's just great.

I'm not staying at the
same convention with them.

They don't even have
proper name tags.

Name tags. We don't need
no stinking name tags.

You know I'm Taco Bill.
I know he is Zeroman.

Let Zeroman go, Mr. Taco-

Oh, I wish you had a name tag.

Drop it or I'll blow you away.

[guns clicking]

Holster your hostilities and
remember what we're here for.

And Rusty, have you
and your cojones

forgotten about the truth?

He's right. We did agree
to lay off the hostilities

until after the weekend.

But the weekend doesn't
officially begin

until we've checked in. Right?

Well, technically, yes.

[fist thumps]

The name is Woodenwater.
Rusty Woodenwater.

Consider me and my party
officially checked in.

[Rusty cackles]

You just gotta do it quick.

Gee, I thought that
suit made you, like,

impervious to pain and stuff.

It does, Gullible
Guy. But the alien weave

has always been a little
thin in certain areas.

[Zeroman groans]

All right, super
friends. Lights out.

Time to tuck yourselves in.
We have a busy day tomorrow.

Lights out? This sucks!

It's only eight o'clock.

You heard me, Impatient Lab.

Man!

Don't make me come in there
and slap the sleeper on you.

Ah, sweet silence. It's nice
that Rusty and his fast crowd

have listened to reason.
I'm sure we'll have

no further tomfoolery from
them. Crazy rotten kids.

[alarm bell ringing]

Fire alarm! Fire alarm!
Come on, everybody, out!

No pushing. No shoving.
Just like we practiced.

Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop!

[alarm bell continues ringing]

We made it! Once again, our
razor sharp reaction time

has allowed us to slip
through death's icy grasp,

and in good time, too.

We're all so glad
that everyone got out,

because we sure wouldn't
wanna miss anyone.

Would we, gang?

[water sprays]

[people scream]

[Rusty cackles]

I love flaunty
conventions. I really do.

[Impatient Guy screams]

That tears it!

It's time to take out
the trailer trash!

Not on my watch, friends.
We've taken a sworn oath

to refrain from
engaging our enemies.

We cannot retaliate,
no matter how foolish

and immature they may be.

[water sprays]
[crowd screams]

I'm telling management.

I haven't had this much
fun at someone else's expense

since Ralph Benmergui
got canceled.

You got that right, kid.
But I can't help thinkin'

how ripe for picking Fair
City must be right now,

with no superheroes
in town, and all.

It's a golden criminal
opportunity, all right.

Even though every
criminal we know is here.

Not exactly, my good
men. For this very moment,

a mysterious tour bus should
be bowling into the heart

of unprotected Fair City,
ferrying a gifted young newcomer

to our dark art.

[Gangster] So who is
this crooked rookie?

Oh, just a little someone
that I've taken under my wing.

A tragically hip shock
and roll high schooler

that travels by the name of...

Van Walen!

[electric guitar music]

Hello, Fair City!

Are you ready to rock?

[heavy metal music]
[dog barking]

I say, look there, Marjorie.

It's one of those
rock and or rollers.

I believe you're right, Miles.

There goes the neighborhood.

You can say that
again, stuffy dudes!

[guitar note wails]
[laser zaps]

Righteous!

Right on! Party on!

Precisely what I had in
mind, my loyal Dead Head fans.

Now, let's trash this jaunt!

[heavy rock music]

[guitar wails]

[people screaming]

[guitar wails]

[people screaming]

Oh my. Oh dear.
There's trouble!

Trouble right here in Fair City.

[Mayor grunting]

Must call for help! Fire
off the Zero signal.

[flames roaring]
[Mayor screams]

Finally some peace and quiet.

[alarm blares]

Oh, great. This is just perfect.

I bet the mayor got lost again.

[door slams]

Hi, Ty. Glad to see you
finally come out of the closet.

Gary, what are you doing here?

Don't you have disposable
income to go spend freely?

Gobs of it. But when the
call to action goes up,

this is the only place to be.

There are gray flaming
holds flying everywhere.

Isn't that great?

No, it's supposed to be
all quiet this weekend.

Though knowing the mayor,
I'm sure it's nothing.

That's right, nothing
a boy can't handle!

Just keep your shirt
on until I find out

what this is all
about. Come in, mayor.

Oh, at last. Are you there?

I can't see you!

That's because I
don't want you to.

We've been over this.

He has a life outside
of this, you know.

Not much of a life,
but it's a life.

So what is it this time,
mayor? Got your head stuck

in the railing again?
A stubborn pickle jar

that needs opening? What?

It can't be anything really
urgent, because every villain

and crook is out of town.

Every known villain.

[people gasp]

[heavy metal music]

[guitar wails]
[explosion booms]

[guitar wails]

Righteous!

[guitar wails]

[people scream]

Whoa, but my note.

Mr. Woodenwater's scoutin' you

right now, dude.
It's your big chance,

so you stay gnarly, and
you get it right, okay?

Rusty W is dependin' on me!

There you are, little
list. And it is written

in the form of a
soon-to-be classic

Man Walen wailin' song

that goes like this.

[singing] Dear man, blow their
minds with your Axco blaster.

I can be their lord and
master. Set your sights

on city hall. Rock the mayor
and the rest will fall.

Do it loud, and do it
right, and you will tour

with me for life!

[Man Walen screams]

[lighters flicking]

We can't take any chances.
The safety of the city

is at stake. We have
to call Zeroman.

Zeroman? Why bother
Zeroman when you've got me?

O Boy!

O Boy?

Oh, boy.

That's right, O Boy.
You remember, Mayor.

Zeroman's trusty
second and wiley ward.

Oh, right! O Boy.

Oh boy, oh boy, we're saved!

Zeroman's wiley O
Boy will handle this.

O Boy won't be
handling anything.

He's not field tested or
wiley. Just very annoying.

We're calling Z-man on
the emergency number

he left on the
fridge. Right now.

[Gary chewing]

Oh, great. Just perfect.

What number? What?

Nice job, O Boy. Now we
have no way to call Zeroman

even if we want to.

[suspenseful music]

[hammer pounding]

[panel beeps]

[steam hisses]

[bodies thumping]

[fist pounding]

[liquid dripping]

[suspenseful piano music]

[bodies thumping]

[people groaning]

[Rusty laughs]

I don't know about you
guys, but I'm feeling

like a badder and more
complete supervillain already.

You got that right, kid.
We're definitely becoming

the worst we's that we can be.

Don't you mean
we that we can be?

Bowango!

[people laughing]

We can do it, Ty!

I have a life outside of
this, my own secret identity

to protect. What am
I supposed to do?

Whip up some quick and
dirty superhero persona,

just like that?

I know you want
it, Ty. I'll get you

any fashion designer you want.
Your choice of materials.

It doesn't have to
be dirty at all.

Just quick! I think there's
someone at the front door!

[heavy metal music]
- Knock, knock!

[singing] Knocking
on your front door!

Did you hear that? He's
destroying city property,

and now he's coming
to destroy me!

Oh, will someone please
leap into action?

Your mayor really,
really needs you!

So what do you say,
partner? Shall we suit up?

[Ty And so it came to
pass that a new avenger

was born. Spawn of cruel
necessity and lithe of limb

from years of yoga.
This dark angel of mercy

had not one life, nay. But
nine. For I am the kitten

in the lap of kindness,
bouncing on the wooly balls

of bad guys the world over as...

Hellcat!

And Holy Cow!

Strike up the band, man.
Because this cat has claws.

Superfriends, I
fear the sanctity of

our no-hostilities
truce has been broken.

For it was during a surprise
foot locker inspection

that I found whoopee cushions,
fake doggy doo, fire ants,

and the most damning
evidence of all,

detailed instructions
on how to plastic wrap

the toilet seat of an
unsuspecting toilet seat sitter.

He did say sitter, right?

Yeah, that's right. We were
planning a counter-attack.

You caught us red-handed
in pink uniform.

Look what they did
to our laundry.

I don't know about
the rest of you guys,

but they're gonna pay for
this. It was brand new.

No, I implore
you, Impatient Guy.

Don't let one red sock spoil
it for the whole bunch.

And believe me when I say
that I feel your pain.

For I, too, am up to here
with their shenanigans.

[Zeroman breaks wind]
[Zeroman groans]

On that, you have my word
and testaminny, uh, mony.

I swear if Rusty persists on
spoiling our good guy time,

we'll pack up our pink
belongings and go home.

[crowd cheers]

[men gulp]

[Rusty screams]

He said what?

Do you have any idea
what this means?

It means that if
Zeroman goes home early,

my plan is ruined.
He'll pull the plug

on the whole Man
Walen experience.

Oh, right. Your
coming home party.

So, as much as it
kills me to say this,

from here on out, we
have to be good bad guys

on our best behavior,
and no more pranks.

[trap slams]

I, like, know you're
in here, Mayor MacWald.

[guitar wails]

There's no use hidin'!

For in a few scared bars,
you, too, will become

part of my ever-expanding
Dead Head family.

[guitar wails]

I'll assume you
didn't get the memo,

but there aren't supposed
to be any villains

in town this weekend.

[Hellcat] Oh, I wouldn't
play that if I were you, man.

And as for this
one-man show of yours,

consider it canceled.

By Hellcat and Holy Cow.

Hellcat!

And Holy Cow?

You're like, kidding, right?

[Hellcat laughs]

Misguided and misinformed.

That's a losing
combination, eh, Holy Cow?

I guess.

And my guess is that it's
time for this particular show

to hit the-

[Hellcat shouts]

Holy cow crap!

They say that timing is
everything in this game,

little cow boy. But isn't
your little kitty, like,

supposed to land on his feet?

Ty, you took that
full in the head.

Are you OK? Good to go, buddy?

Say something! Speak to me!

Oh yeah, let's rock.
I am so totally stoked

at this juncture my
little bovine dude.

[Ty snickers]
Oh yeah.

Are you ready to rock?

Hey, nice set of strings.

Is that a Vancaster
3000 axe guitar

with solid platinum bridges
and a built-in whammy bar?

It is, my fellow rock dude.

Good to see that it
is being appreciated.

Now, prepare for your
stairway to heaven.

Whoa, I hear you, man.

But what if I told you I
could outfit the Man Walen

experience with the
latest in rock equipment?

My little bovine dude,
let's get ready to rock.

[lounge music]

Okay, look sharp.
Here he comes.

And so to sum up, if you are
not prepared to do the time,

then why not just don't do the
crime. That's all I'm saying.

My feeling exactly, Rusty.

And I must say, it's terrific
to see your team finally

playing ball, which
is why I'm here.

You know, after we
wrap up this exercise

to improve our other super
senses, I was wondering

if you'd like to help
us put these sturdy bats

to good use in a team-building
game of softball.

[suspenseful music]

Rusty, please?

Put it outta your
minds, gang. Stay strong.

We're in this together.

And give us the strength
of will not to smite

our stupid enemies.
In this, we beg you.

[Group] Amen.

Ah, prayer, eh,
Rusty? The last refuge

of a desperate man.

Hey, is that an
anti-personality feet-seeking stunt gun?

With over and under muscle
confounders. Feel the weight.

We were wondering if you'd
mind holding these for us

while we take a quick
knee for a team prayer.

No, absolutely
not. We couldn't.

For gosh sakes, kid.
We're only inhuman!

This had better be worth
it. That's all I have to say.

[Rusty cries]

Holy Cow. Thanks
for the hookups.

The Mitchell 10,000 is amazing.

And the venue is stellar!

[screaming] Hello, Fair
City! Are you ready to rock?

Crank it, dude. Let's
see what this amp can do!

[feedback blaring]

I say, Miles.
You look horrible.

As do you, Marjorie.
What say we go medieval

on a pizza pie?

Oh, dudes. Look what
you did to my guitar!

My gnarly, nuke-fueled
axe! It's gonna be

in the shop for, like, ever!

You can spend that time
thinking about what you've done.

It's the juvie hole
shame for you, son.

[Man Walen cries]

[handcuffs click]

So what do you say,
partner? Why bother Zeroman

when you've got me?
Victory is ours!

Not yet, Holy Cow. We have
but one task left to perform.

Really? A parade in our honor?

Getting the key to the city?

Actually, we have
to clean this mess up

before you-know-who gets
home. I'll sweep, you mop.

[Rusty sighs]

Thank God it's over. This
has been the longest two days

of my life and I've done
press and Moose Jaw.

It was a rocky start,
but I have to say,

in the end it turned into
a worthwhile weekend.

Oh you do, do you?
You have to say that?

Well, that's easy for you
to say, because I just

found out my big homecoming
plans fell through!

Which means I went
through all this,

spent an entire
weekend with Zero Dick

and a squad of dorks
and wads for nothing!

I'll show you dorks and wads!

For the love of God,
Zeroman. How much longer

do you expect us to take
this abuse from him?

Patience, Impatient Guy. The
truce isn't officially over.

At least until
we've checked out.

Isn't that right, Rusty?

Well, technically, yes.

[bell ringing]

Clark! Zeroman here,
notifying one and all

that my party and I have
officially checked out.

[fist thumps]

Ah, nuts.

[fists thumping]

I really do spoil these
kids. Hold on, there.

That's no way to take a punch.

Now here, let me show you!

[Zeroman laughs]

Boy, it sure is good to be back.

The old hometown
hasn't changed a bit.

[Ty laughs]

Why should it happen? You
were only gone for two days.

Yeah, we just played music,
tried on some new outfits.

[Ty sighs]

Brought the city
back from the brink

of total annihilation, you know.

[Ty chuckles]
Same old, same old.

The music is
mighty interesting.

Would you turn it up a bit?

[fast-paced music]

♪ Zero! ♪

♪ Man! ♪

♪ Here comes Zeroman! ♪

♪ Zeroman! Countdown
has started. ♪

♪ Looking for a hero man! ♪

♪ Five, four, three, two,
one, here comes Zeroman! ♪

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