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♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
2
00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:06,338
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
3
00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:10,901
♪ Happy birthday, dear Max ♪
4
00:00:10,919 --> 00:00:15,906
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
5
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,424
Yeah!
6
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,409
Wait, wait! Remix!
♪ Birthday ♪
7
00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:21,261
-♪ What? ♪
-♪ Birthday ♪
8
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,412
-♪ What? ♪
-♪ Time to get spanked ♪
9
00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:23,597
♪ On your birthday butt ♪
10
00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:25,249
♪ Wicka-wicka-wicka ♪
11
00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:26,358
-♪ What? ♪
-♪ What? ♪
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,952
Just be grateful
they decided not to twerk.
13
00:00:28,954 --> 00:00:31,655
Three hours of rehearsal,
down the drain.
14
00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,034
I just really want
to thank you guys.
15
00:00:35,261 --> 00:00:36,684
You know, it's...
16
00:00:36,779 --> 00:00:38,278
it's times like this that you
realize what really matters is--
17
00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:39,596
Come on, man.
18
00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:40,688
It's ice-cream cake.
19
00:00:40,783 --> 00:00:42,624
Just blow out the damn candles.
20
00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:44,434
Yay!
21
00:00:46,105 --> 00:00:49,122
All right,
let the spanking begin.
22
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:51,425
Wait, wait, wait.
Not so fast.
23
00:00:52,628 --> 00:00:54,536
Ooh!
24
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,472
Demon cake!
25
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,875
Yeah. Probably should've
seen that coming.
26
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,061
What are you doing?
27
00:01:02,212 --> 00:01:04,480
Uh, tying my shoe.
28
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,232
Max, I'm really sorry.
29
00:01:07,459 --> 00:01:09,234
Ah, it's all right,
I don't need any cake
30
00:01:09,461 --> 00:01:11,978
as long as I've got
good friends, my health,
31
00:01:12,055 --> 00:01:13,130
and presents.
32
00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,389
Presents, presents, presents!
33
00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:16,891
Uh, well, this year I had
34
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:18,226
everyone chip in--
35
00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,803
So I'm only getting one present?
36
00:01:19,822 --> 00:01:22,322
Yeah, but you're getting
one really awesome present,
37
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:23,974
one that you'll never forget.
38
00:01:24,143 --> 00:01:25,492
Oh, great,
39
00:01:25,644 --> 00:01:27,477
like the time you took me
on a "behind-the-scenes tour"
40
00:01:27,496 --> 00:01:30,071
of the aquarium and
gave me a quiz afterward?
41
00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:32,666
What's that?
42
00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:33,908
-What?
-Did somebody's
43
00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:35,335
birthday gift arrive?
44
00:01:35,487 --> 00:01:36,578
Oh, my God.
45
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,430
You guys bought me a car?
46
00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:39,840
You're the best!
47
00:01:39,992 --> 00:01:42,417
Oh, uh, we didn't get you a car,
we rented you an RV
48
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,252
so we can take a tour
of the Smoky Mountains
49
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,254
like you always wanted to!
50
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:49,182
I think he's still
really gonna like it.
51
00:01:50,018 --> 00:01:51,852
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
52
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:54,504
♪ Nothin' wrong with you but I'd rather be me. ♪
53
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:55,930
Hey, babe, what do you think
I should pack?
54
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,283
Katana blade or nunchucks?
55
00:02:02,865 --> 00:02:05,106
Uh, we're going camping
in an RV.
56
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,017
Yeah, I'm being silly.
57
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:08,794
I'll leave Wesley Slice at home.
58
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:11,964
But I'm definitely
taking Nunchuck Norris.
59
00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:16,042
Hey, um, I know we haven't
set a date for the wedding yet,
60
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:20,213
but my lease is up and I wasn't
sure if I should renew, or...
61
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,290
Well, why would you renew?
We getting married.
62
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,368
Oh, I was hoping you'd say that.
63
00:02:24,386 --> 00:02:25,978
Yeah, I can't wait
to live with you.
64
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:28,221
And all your candles
and tiny little soaps
65
00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,539
that I'm not allowed to touch.
66
00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:31,132
Mm. Okay, great.
67
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,542
Well, I'll just tell Max,
68
00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:34,211
and then we can go look
for our place.
69
00:02:34,229 --> 00:02:36,971
Oh, good news. Found it.
70
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,716
Wait, what? Your place?
71
00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:42,903
The one with the basketball
hoop and the Star Wars poster?
72
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,663
No, our place.
73
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,406
And that's a limited
edition print
74
00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:48,392
signed by the little guy
inside the robot.
75
00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:52,045
So, that's basically
an R2-D2 401K.
76
00:02:52,231 --> 00:02:53,897
Yeah, I want to live somewhere
77
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,582
that's a little more us
78
00:02:55,734 --> 00:02:57,492
and a lot less... you.
79
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,403
Yeah, but this is
a great neighborhood,
80
00:02:59,421 --> 00:03:00,904
and it's right near
my son's school.
81
00:03:00,923 --> 00:03:02,997
Well, we can find another
place in this area.
82
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,332
I like this place.
83
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:06,092
I spilled syrup
down the floor vent
84
00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:09,413
so when the heat comes on,
it smells delicious.
85
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:12,173
Come on, we're supposed to be
starting our lives together.
86
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:14,193
Look at that
little bitty kitchen.
87
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:15,194
We need a kitchen big enough
88
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,011
for someone who has an ass.
89
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,346
Do not insult my ass.
90
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,590
You can bounce a damn quarter
off this thing.
91
00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:22,592
It's thicker than a Snicker.
92
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:23,944
No, we can't,
93
00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,612
because we have
to save our quarters
94
00:03:25,764 --> 00:03:27,113
for the Laundromat
because this stupid place
95
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:28,523
doesn't have a washing machine.
96
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,209
Oh, if you calling
this condo stupid,
97
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,618
you calling me stupid.
98
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,528
Well, if the katana fits!
99
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,380
♪ ♪
100
00:03:35,532 --> 00:03:37,198
Thank you so much
for watching the cats.
101
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,885
I've been criticizing their
life choices the past few days
102
00:03:40,112 --> 00:03:42,704
to get them used
to your type of affection.
103
00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:44,114
You're welcome.
104
00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:45,873
Though when you said
"take care of the cats,"
105
00:03:45,968 --> 00:03:48,468
I thought you meant something
far more permanent.
106
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:50,729
Well, it'll be a breeze.
107
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,639
And I jotted down
a few helpful hints
108
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,900
in case anything comes up.
109
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:57,978
This is the binder
for Cat-am Sandler.
110
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:00,313
You'll find the other 14
in the storage room,
111
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,241
right next to
Mr. Mittens' diapers
112
00:04:02,468 --> 00:04:03,725
and depression medication.
113
00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:07,496
I have to think the hospital
gave me the wrong baby.
114
00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,565
Okay, who's ready to go rough it
115
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,400
in a 400-square-foot
rolling apartment
116
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,403
with a microwave,
a shower, and an Xbox?
117
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,255
This guy.
118
00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:17,739
Well, I'm ready.
119
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:20,484
I was up all night making
homemade mosquito repellant.
120
00:04:20,577 --> 00:04:21,485
Really? That's a thing?
121
00:04:21,578 --> 00:04:23,595
Oh, yeah.
Lemongrass, citronella,
122
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,747
and just a kiss of urine.
123
00:04:26,525 --> 00:04:28,992
There was a cute little
red-headed baby there
124
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,727
that I quite liked.
125
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,755
Uh, Gideon?
126
00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:37,109
I can't believe I'm going
on my first road trip.
127
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,444
Good news, I found my harmonica.
128
00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:43,857
That's great.
129
00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:45,525
Yeah, we didn't know you
wanted to come...
130
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,369
on a couples' trip...
131
00:04:48,271 --> 00:04:50,497
in an RV that only has two beds.
132
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,625
They don't want you to go, kid.
133
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,545
I see.
134
00:05:00,042 --> 00:05:01,133
You-you know what?
135
00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,542
The more the merrier.
136
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,210
Yeah, sure, why not?
137
00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,621
But you owe me a present.
No donation in my name,
138
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:10,200
no star named after me,
no tree planted in my honor.
139
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,702
I want a cool toy
that I can play with.
140
00:05:12,721 --> 00:05:13,887
You know what, Gideon?
141
00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:15,147
Since you're bringing
your harmonica,
142
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,723
I'm gonna bring my castanets.
143
00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:19,651
I mean, I don't want to
oversell it, but check this out.
144
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:27,451
It sounds a lot better
with the actual castanets.
145
00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:32,205
She knows she smells
like pee, right?
146
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:48,513
All right, that was "From Depths
of Woe I Cry to Thee."
147
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,682
Anybody else have a favorite
hymn they'd like to hear?
148
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:52,517
How about "On the Road Again"?
149
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:55,520
Don't know that one, but here's
a little ditty called
150
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,264
"There Is a Fountain
Filled With Blood."
151
00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:00,192
Carter, if you ever want
to see me naked again,
152
00:06:00,343 --> 00:06:01,918
you better take
that harmonica from him.
153
00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:04,921
Sorry, man.
I'm not anti-harmonica,
154
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,698
but I am pro-nudity.
155
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:10,351
I just flossed my teeth
at 70 miles per hour,
156
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,946
so I'm basically an astronaut.
157
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,188
Oh, Gideon, no more harmonica?
158
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,950
Guess I'll have
to do a solo jam.
159
00:06:19,104 --> 00:06:19,953
Carter!
160
00:06:20,105 --> 00:06:21,028
Yeah, I'm on it.
161
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,363
Give me these.
162
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:25,533
Uh, Kat, about this binder
you made for the trip?
163
00:06:25,702 --> 00:06:28,445
Oh, you mean "Max's Smokin'
Birthday Weekend
164
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,890
in the Smoky Mountains,
asterisk: A Smoke-Free Weekend"?
165
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:33,058
Yeah.
166
00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:34,559
There's a lot of stuff in here
167
00:06:34,711 --> 00:06:36,043
about things that will kill us:
168
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,879
like bears, killer bees,
169
00:06:37,973 --> 00:06:39,623
and-and eventually
climate change?
170
00:06:39,641 --> 00:06:41,048
Well, our greatest weapon
is education.
171
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:43,126
Except against killer bees.
172
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,629
Because, ironically,
that one's climate change.
173
00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:49,966
Okay, "Step one, identify
if a bear is a black bear
174
00:06:49,985 --> 00:06:51,134
"or a brown bear.
175
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:54,079
Step one-A,
black bears can also be brown."
176
00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:56,731
Why does everything
got to be about color?
177
00:06:56,825 --> 00:06:58,750
Here's the thing. If you're
attacked by a brown bear,
178
00:06:58,977 --> 00:06:59,976
play dead.
179
00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:01,420
If you're attacked
by a black bear,
180
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:03,146
don't play dead.
181
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:05,740
But black bears can be brown,
brown bears cannot be black,
182
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,334
and if we see a polar bear,
we're on a magical island
183
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:10,820
where nothing
will ever make sense.
184
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:14,491
We can also fight back with
the most powerful weapon of all.
185
00:07:14,509 --> 00:07:15,583
Prayer.
186
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,494
Or a razor-sharp katana.
187
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,163
Oh, wait. Someone told me
not to bring that.
188
00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:22,441
You know what someone
should've told you not to bring?
189
00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:24,501
Your dumb ass.
190
00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:26,169
-Oh. Here.
-Oh.
191
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:27,446
Oh, you're gonna regret that.
192
00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:29,448
Uh, is everything okay
between you two?
193
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,950
Well, I haven't had a chance
to talk to Max about this yet,
194
00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:33,618
but since our lease is up,
195
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,604
-me and this cinderblock-head
decided to move in together.
-What?
196
00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:39,624
Assuming we can agree
on where, or anything.
197
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,685
Oh, I can't wait.
198
00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:44,187
Wait, this fight isn't gonna
break you up, right?
199
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,279
'Cause I already started
200
00:07:45,373 --> 00:07:46,781
a Pinterest board
for your wedding.
201
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,858
Your colors are green
and mustard.
202
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:50,193
Mustard?
203
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:52,045
So, I either got
to find a new place
204
00:07:52,197 --> 00:07:53,788
or get another roommate?
205
00:07:53,882 --> 00:07:54,973
This is the same thing
that happened
206
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:57,642
when my mom married Stan.
207
00:07:58,628 --> 00:07:59,552
Don't worry, Max.
208
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,294
When God closes a door,
209
00:08:00,388 --> 00:08:01,705
He opens a window.
210
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,483
And guess who's climbing
through that window, roomie?
211
00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:06,467
Oh, my God.
212
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,696
♪ ♪
213
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,235
-Can I get y'all anything else?
-Nah.
214
00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:16,219
-No, thank you.
-We're good.
215
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,812
How about you, sugar?
216
00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:19,146
"Sugar."
217
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,833
That's my first nickname.
218
00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:23,593
I'll give you one.
219
00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:25,578
Martha.
220
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:27,488
That's my mother's name.
221
00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,991
You're cute and funny.
222
00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:31,325
Here's your check.
223
00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:33,678
Gideon.
224
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,922
My name is Sugar.
225
00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:38,091
Okay, Sugar,
I think she likes you.
226
00:08:38,243 --> 00:08:39,500
Go talk to her.
227
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,002
But take the olives
off your fingers first.
228
00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:43,063
Aw. Okay.
229
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:46,933
I'll go see if she needs help
washing dishes.
230
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,529
Excuse me, Martha...
231
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,180
That boy need practice
talking to women.
232
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,607
Hey, maybe we should
take him to a strip club.
233
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,018
Oh, well, why don't you just
take him to your bathroom?
234
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:58,203
It looks like a strip club.
235
00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:00,764
Black tile and
those tacky gold faucets.
236
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:02,207
Oh! So gold is tacky?
237
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,950
You want to call
the Olympics and tell them
238
00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:05,359
that their best prize is tacky?
239
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,694
No, I'm gonna call my cousin
240
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,604
and tell her I'm marrying
241
00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:09,214
the manager of the Bada Bing!
242
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,049
Oh!
243
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,614
You know, I think they
staged that fight
244
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:19,132
because they don't want
to pay for lunch.
245
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:21,042
Yeah, I think you're
probably right.
246
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,302
But it is my birthday, so...
247
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,470
Okay, all right, I got you.
248
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:25,880
And, uh, I hope you
saved some room.
249
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,381
There's a really
cool place up ahead
250
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,734
that sells cheese
in the shape of presidents.
251
00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:32,629
Kind of itching for
some Pepper Jack Kennedy.
252
00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:35,448
Ich bin ein delicious.
253
00:09:36,726 --> 00:09:37,742
What are you doing?
254
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,302
I'm taking the ketchup packets.
255
00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:40,412
-Why?
-Well, we can use them
256
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,414
on our burgers
tonight and, uh...
257
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,140
I don't want to brag,
but this is how
258
00:09:44,142 --> 00:09:47,234
I've managed to not buy a bottle
of ketchup in six years.
259
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:49,145
Uh, first of all, weird flex.
260
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,572
Uh, and I have had the same
bottle of ketchup for six years.
261
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,407
You know, you've actually
saved like $1.40.
262
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:57,053
Oh, I'm not who's
about to be homeless, Max.
263
00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,172
Speaking of which,
264
00:09:59,324 --> 00:10:01,099
ever since Gideon said
he wanted to be my roommate
265
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,435
I've been thinking about...
266
00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:05,328
how much I don't want
that to happen.
267
00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:07,254
-Oh.
-And, uh, I don't know,
268
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,775
I had this crazy idea
that maybe we could...
269
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,694
Maybe we could what?
270
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:15,004
Actually, forget it, it's...
271
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:16,189
No, I-I want to know
what were you gonna say.
272
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,449
I don't know.
273
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,433
You... You probably...
You might not like it.
274
00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:21,861
Well, I might think it's, like,
the greatest idea in the world.
275
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:24,289
-Okay, let me guess.
-Okay.
276
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,866
Might it have something
to do with...
277
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,869
Mi casa es su casa?
278
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:31,254
Yes.
279
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:34,023
Do you want to live together?
280
00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:35,467
¡Sí, señor!
281
00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:37,694
And I know it's quick,
but it just feels right.
282
00:10:37,696 --> 00:10:39,453
It totally feels right.
That was so easy.
283
00:10:39,547 --> 00:10:41,030
-Do you see how easy that was?
-Yeah.
284
00:10:41,124 --> 00:10:42,974
Why are Carter and Randi
fighting so much about it?
285
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:45,368
Because not every couple
is as awesome as we are.
286
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:47,537
Truth.
Suck it, Randi and Carter.
287
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,648
Bada bing and bada boom.
288
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,316
I mean, if this were the...
289
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,393
the Olympics of couples,
we would take the gold.
290
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,029
How are we gonna pose when
we get on the Wheaties box?
291
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,409
♪ ♪
292
00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:05,813
So, you'll never guess
what happened.
293
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,149
If this has anything to do
with The Commander in Cheese,
294
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,242
I don't want to know.
295
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,711
But how good was
that Burrata Obama?
296
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,080
With you and Carter
moving in together,
297
00:11:14,232 --> 00:11:15,340
I had a great idea.
298
00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:17,676
Max and I are gonna
move in together!
299
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:20,095
Mm.
300
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:22,997
What's "mm"?
301
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:24,683
Nothing.
302
00:11:24,759 --> 00:11:27,168
No, that's the same "mm"
you used
303
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:28,836
when I told you
I wanted to get jeggings.
304
00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,914
Well, nobody looks good
in jeggings.
305
00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:32,190
Well, I do.
306
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:33,766
What, you don't think
it's a good idea?
307
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:36,194
Honestly,
I've lived with you both
308
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:37,603
and he's gonna drive you crazy.
309
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,772
Well, we're practically
living together already.
310
00:11:39,925 --> 00:11:42,425
We're around each other all
the time and it's going great.
311
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,068
No, this is different.
312
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,611
Max doesn't think
anything through.
313
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:48,355
He's a child. I can't tell you
the number of times
314
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,708
he's left the house
for groceries
315
00:11:49,935 --> 00:11:51,768
and came back
with water balloons.
316
00:11:51,786 --> 00:11:53,269
It's 12.
317
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:56,030
That's called being
spontaneous and fun.
318
00:11:56,124 --> 00:11:57,531
It's why we get along.
319
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,275
Yeah, but you like things
a certain way
320
00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:01,052
and you're kind of
an overthinker.
321
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,221
I am not.
322
00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,539
Well, I-I guess
sometimes I can be.
323
00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:07,392
But, you know,
sometimes you have to be.
324
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,543
Hold on, wait; give me a second
and let me think about it.
325
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,378
No, I'm not. Right?
326
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,507
Look, if you want to move in
with Max, go right ahead.
327
00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:15,808
I'm just saying
328
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,551
Carter and I have been
together for a while
329
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:18,978
and even we're
struggling with it.
330
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,630
Well, he's struggling
to see that I'm right,
331
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,223
but I'll get him there.
332
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,909
Well, Max and I are
a very different couple
333
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,411
than you and Carter.
334
00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:28,896
Different like how?
335
00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:30,415
Different like better?
336
00:12:31,142 --> 00:12:33,142
N-No. Pfft. No.
337
00:12:33,236 --> 00:12:34,978
Different like... Like, uh...
338
00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:36,980
equal but separate...
339
00:12:36,998 --> 00:12:39,240
like separate but equal.
340
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,650
I'm just...
341
00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:43,094
I'm gonna take a left turn
off this cliff over here.
342
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:44,596
That's what I'm gonna do.
343
00:12:44,823 --> 00:12:47,490
All right, you've got
two zombies on your six.
344
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:48,841
I'll cover you with the shotgun
345
00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,101
then take a flamethrower
to the door.
346
00:12:51,346 --> 00:12:52,920
Aw, look, a little zombie girl.
347
00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:54,588
That's cute.
348
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,090
You're gonna bite me?
349
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,258
Chainsawed!
350
00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:00,353
This is so much fun.
351
00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:04,173
Are we having what you fellas
call "bro time"?
352
00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:05,675
Well, we've got beer,
video games,
353
00:13:05,693 --> 00:13:09,270
and I'm farting
when I want to, so, yeah.
354
00:13:09,364 --> 00:13:12,031
Hey, did you ask out
that waitress?
355
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,516
Well, I left behind
356
00:13:13,535 --> 00:13:16,202
a wicker doll that looked
like the prophet Isaiah,
357
00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:18,704
so I definitely made
the first move.
358
00:13:19,615 --> 00:13:21,448
Gideon, you're not
on the farm anymore.
359
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,693
When you like a girl,
ask for her phone number,
360
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,362
slide into her DMs,
have sex with her best friend
361
00:13:26,497 --> 00:13:29,123
so she gets jealous,
then make the move over.
362
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,958
Yeah, you got to be romantic.
363
00:13:31,052 --> 00:13:32,143
Women dig that stuff.
364
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:33,794
Ah, fire in the hole!
365
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,371
Ah.
366
00:13:35,390 --> 00:13:36,147
Uh, by the way,
367
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:38,541
Randi and I call the other bed.
368
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,134
You sure she's gonna want
to sleep with you?
369
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,635
She seems pretty pissed.
370
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,321
I don't know why she doesn't
want to move into my place.
371
00:13:43,472 --> 00:13:44,881
My first wife loved it.
372
00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:47,975
Losing that condo was harder
for her than losing me.
373
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,402
That's probably why Randi
doesn't want to live there.
374
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,179
-You bought it
with your ex-wife.
-So?
375
00:13:51,181 --> 00:13:53,906
I also bought the bed that
we sleep in with my ex-wife.
376
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,575
Do not tell her that.
377
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,001
Even I know that.
378
00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:58,336
And the only woman
I've ever kissed
379
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:01,714
was my Nana,
right before we buried her.
380
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:10,348
♪ ♪
381
00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:15,854
I have made...
382
00:14:16,081 --> 00:14:19,082
fire!
383
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,084
You just turned on the propane.
384
00:14:21,177 --> 00:14:23,194
But I made fire.
385
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,847
Oh, thanks for letting me
chop the wood.
386
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,700
Usually that honor
goes to the elder
387
00:14:28,927 --> 00:14:30,610
with the season's
highest corn yield,
388
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,370
but I won't tell if you won't.
389
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:33,687
Oh, you're welcome,
390
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,023
but you are letting me
wash the dishes tonight.
391
00:14:36,117 --> 00:14:37,542
Aw, really?
392
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:40,103
Oh, okay, you can do them.
393
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:41,104
But you owe me.
394
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:43,464
You are the best.
395
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:48,219
Are you not gonna tell him
that we don't need firewood?
396
00:14:48,371 --> 00:14:49,870
Girl, I'm just trying
to tucker him out.
397
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,206
I got bored playing
fetch with him.
398
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,229
Ugh, what is that smell?
399
00:14:58,422 --> 00:14:59,380
Nature?
400
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,456
Gross.
401
00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:05,403
Ooh, nice. Pine-scented.
402
00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:07,296
Uh-oh.
403
00:15:07,315 --> 00:15:09,390
What's going on over here?
404
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,909
Making burgers.
405
00:15:11,136 --> 00:15:13,469
But they're not all
the same thickness.
406
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,488
Like, look, fatty patty.
407
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,581
Who cares?
408
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,809
Uh, everyone,
when they don't cook evenly.
409
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:21,144
-It's fine.
-Yeah, well...
410
00:15:21,312 --> 00:15:22,945
It's gonna be.
411
00:15:22,997 --> 00:15:24,480
Okay, okay. All right. Yeah.
412
00:15:24,499 --> 00:15:26,649
-Thank you.
-Oh, you're welcome.
413
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,501
Um, hey, where'd you
put the ketchup packets?
414
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,911
Oh, right, so I stuck them
under the seat of the toilet
415
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,932
and when Gideon sat down,
it squirted in his underwear.
416
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:36,583
You used my ketchup packets
for a prank?
417
00:15:36,678 --> 00:15:40,396
Yeah, he thought he was
dying, it was hilarious.
418
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:43,499
Great. Thanks a lot, Max.
419
00:15:43,518 --> 00:15:44,591
Are you mad?
420
00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,852
Well, you knew I wanted
them for our burgers
421
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,505
and you wasted them
on a stupid prank.
422
00:15:49,524 --> 00:15:51,265
Mm, awesome prank.
423
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:53,009
Oh, my gosh, you are a child.
424
00:15:53,027 --> 00:15:56,621
And you're an adult yelling
at me over ketchup packets.
425
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:58,272
I'm not yelling.
And, you know, it's not even
426
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,699
about the ketchup packets.
427
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,793
We now all have
to eat dry burgers
428
00:16:01,944 --> 00:16:03,294
because you didn't
think this through
429
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:05,204
or consider anyone else
and you know what?
430
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:06,447
Yeah, now I guess I am yelling!
431
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,299
Oh, my God, would you relax?
432
00:16:08,526 --> 00:16:10,193
You know what
would help me relax?
433
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,086
The zesty tang of ketchup!
434
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,620
You are being ridiculous.
435
00:16:13,715 --> 00:16:15,548
Is this what you're gonna be
like when we move in together?
436
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,957
You know, maybe it is.
437
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:17,883
Is this what
you're gonna be like
438
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:18,884
when we move in together?
439
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:19,978
Yeah, probably,
440
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:21,145
'cause this is who I am.
441
00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:22,313
Oh, and one more thing.
442
00:16:22,465 --> 00:16:26,109
I liked who you were,
fatty patty.
443
00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:28,486
-Give me that!
-No!
444
00:16:28,637 --> 00:16:30,137
-You give me that fatty patty!
-No, stop it.
445
00:16:30,231 --> 00:16:31,547
Give it!
446
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,157
Better couple, my ass.
447
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:34,884
-Give it!
-Ow, it's hot.
448
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,312
♪ Oh, you can't ride in the little red wagon ♪
449
00:16:38,406 --> 00:16:40,406
♪ Wheel is broke and the axle's saggin' ♪
450
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,408
♪ Chug-chug, chug-chug-chug ♪
451
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,410
♪ Next verse, same as the first ♪
452
00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:46,912
♪ Little bit louder and a whole lot worse. ♪
453
00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:48,231
Everybody!
454
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:50,066
I'm gonna hit him
with my walking stick.
455
00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:51,250
This hike is taking forever.
456
00:16:51,402 --> 00:16:52,510
Why are we even doing this?
457
00:16:52,661 --> 00:16:54,161
Look, I want to go home.
458
00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:55,996
To my fantastic home.
459
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,423
No one is going home!
460
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,909
Okay? We're gonna see
a gorgeous fricking lake
461
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:01,577
in 4.81 miles.
462
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,521
And we're gonna take pictures
and we're gonna smile
463
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:05,380
and we're gonna post
those pictures online
464
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,525
so that everybody can see
how great our lives are.
465
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,843
#Max'sSmokingBirthday,
466
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,844
#SmokyMountains,
467
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,013
#BinderLife.
468
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,032
Stop talking.
469
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,758
Damn, you beat me to it.
470
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:18,703
- Holy crap.
- Oh, Lord.
471
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:20,204
Mommy.
472
00:17:20,431 --> 00:17:22,040
What do we do?
473
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:24,208
Yeah. What do we do?
474
00:17:25,861 --> 00:17:26,952
Oh.
475
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,714
I'll pray for you!
476
00:17:30,775 --> 00:17:32,458
Okay, that's a black bear.
477
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,610
So that means that
it's either a black bear...
478
00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:36,112
or not a black bear.
479
00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:38,631
Well, your binder said to make
yourself as big as possible
480
00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,283
and then slowly back away.
481
00:17:40,301 --> 00:17:41,617
Oh, you read my binder?
482
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,619
There was a lot of good
pictures of me in there.
483
00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:44,620
Did the binder say anything
484
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:45,955
about marking your territory
485
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:47,214
with your own pee?
486
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:49,901
'Cause...
we now have that covered.
487
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,069
Okay.
488
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,796
Everybody, as big as possible.
489
00:17:57,318 --> 00:17:58,076
Uh...
490
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,243
♪ You can't ride ♪
491
00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:00,653
♪ In my little red wagon ♪
492
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:01,746
♪ Wheel is broke ♪
493
00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:03,155
♪ And the axle's saggin' ♪
494
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,231
What are you doing?
495
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,583
I am not dying to that song.
496
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:07,734
We're supposed to make noise
that's non-threatening.
497
00:18:07,829 --> 00:18:08,902
Uh...
498
00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:10,479
♪ Chug-chug, chug-chug-chug ♪
499
00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:13,499
♪ You can't ride in my little red wagon ♪
500
00:18:13,651 --> 00:18:15,742
♪ Wheel is broke and the axle's saggin'. ♪
501
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,154
- He's turning around!
- Yeah.
502
00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,247
Yeah, that's right,
walk away, Yogi.
503
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,183
A lot of things came into focus
504
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:33,002
when I was protecting you
from that bear.
505
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:34,428
You were standing behind me.
506
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,470
Wha...?
507
00:18:35,523 --> 00:18:37,173
I didn't want it
to sneak up on you.
508
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,342
It's called having
your back, Randi.
509
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,601
I don't want to fight anymore.
510
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,194
We went camping with
a bunch of white people
511
00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:44,847
and almost got killed.
That's on us.
512
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,366
Look, I get you don't want
to move into my condo
513
00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:49,034
because I lived there
with my ex-wife.
514
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,611
You did? I didn't know that!
515
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:54,540
Well, then I didn't,
and you still don't know that.
516
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:57,710
Well, I was thinking maybe
we can change a few things
517
00:18:57,862 --> 00:19:01,197
about your place to make it
feel more like our place.
518
00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:03,382
Really? Thank you, baby.
519
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,309
But now that I know that
Stephanie lived there with you,
520
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:08,813
we are ripping that sucker
down to the studs.
521
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,481
We could do that.
522
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:14,727
You know, uh, Stephanie was
there when I bought my old Xbox.
523
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,988
So, we gonna need
to get the new one.
524
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,551
Sorry your birthday
was kind of a bust.
525
00:19:22,553 --> 00:19:25,221
Are you kidding?
I punched out a bear.
526
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:27,498
And you're gonna back me up
when I tell people that,
527
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:30,084
that's your birthday gift
to me.
528
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:35,231
I have never been so terrified.
529
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:36,248
Yeah.
530
00:19:36,401 --> 00:19:39,177
I'm really glad
you were there with me.
531
00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:40,736
Yeah, the whole thing just made
532
00:19:40,755 --> 00:19:43,181
what we were fighting
about seem so stupid.
533
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:46,333
I shouldn't have
called you a child.
534
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,686
I shouldn't have called you
a control freak.
535
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,688
You didn't.
536
00:19:50,839 --> 00:19:52,765
Right, that was with Carter.
537
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:57,420
So even though I'm a bit
of a micromanager...
538
00:19:57,438 --> 00:20:00,439
you still want
to move in together?
539
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,283
Sí, señor.
540
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,685
Yeah, and if you think
it's too quick,
541
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,644
I can totally find
542
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,206
another roommate.
543
00:20:08,357 --> 00:20:10,708
I said that low
in case Gideon's around.
544
00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:13,285
If the two of us
can get through that,
545
00:20:13,438 --> 00:20:15,028
we can get through anything.
546
00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:17,048
Except climate change,
that's really gonna require
547
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:19,425
more of a group effort.
548
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:21,944
Max.
549
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:23,946
We're gonna move in together!
550
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:29,209
Wait, is that the RV?
551
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,211
Hey, is that Gideon driving?
552
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,879
Does Gideon know how to drive?
553
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,565
I'm sure he does.
554
00:20:35,309 --> 00:20:36,976
I'm gonna ask the waitress
out on a date!
555
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,277
Life is too short!
556
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,053
No, stop the RV!
557
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,573
Don't know how! Bye!
558
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:49,989
Hello, Mother.
559
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,064
Oh, hello, sweetheart.
560
00:20:51,158 --> 00:20:52,324
Just wanted to let you know
561
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,434
we are headed back
562
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:55,253
and we should be home
in a few hours.
563
00:20:55,329 --> 00:20:56,737
Wonderful. Drive safe.
564
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,089
We will. And, uh...
565
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,316
thanks again for taking
care of the cats.
566
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:02,551
Oh, yes, of course.
They were little angels.
567
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:04,503
Oh, crap.
568
00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:16,399
♪ ♪
569
00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:36,460
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
570
00:21:36,537 --> 00:21:39,005
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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