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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Downloaded from RARBG 2 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,767 ♪ 3 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:51,051 It's okay. 4 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,791 You're gonna love it. 5 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:57,100 Happy first day of school. 6 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,928 Bye, sweetie. 7 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:01,713 -Hi! -Hi. 8 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,628 Hey. I'm Sam. 9 00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,195 Hi. I'm Julie. 10 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,894 -Bye. -Bye, Mom. 11 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,115 I'm Hunter. 12 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,595 Sam's mine right there. 13 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:14,987 The one with the glasses. 14 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,163 I'm Lisa. 15 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,513 That's my Julie. 16 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,254 I'm Mitchell. 17 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,518 Kayla's hero. 18 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,259 Oh, are you okay? 19 00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:26,956 -Yeah, yeah. -You crying? 20 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,045 No, man, it's a... big day, that's all. 21 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,742 -Yeah. -You know, can I have a tissue, please? 22 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:31,874 -Yeah, yeah. -Thank you. 23 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,223 -It's a big day for all of us. -Yeah. 24 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,398 Thanks. 25 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:37,836 Come on, let's go! 26 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,011 I think our daughters are friends. 27 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,274 I'm so excited! Me, too. 28 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,885 And I think that means we're friends. 29 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,108 Should we go get a drink? 30 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,283 You okay? 31 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,675 -Yeah. -Yeah. 32 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,721 -Yeah. -Do you guys want to go get a drink? 33 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,810 Just... Ah, they made it. 34 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,594 You guys want to go grab a drink real quick? 35 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,727 Is he asking us if we want to go grab a drink? 36 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,163 I'm really hoping it's coffee. 37 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:03,949 ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah... 38 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:09,129 ♪ Is it a dream keeping you awake? ♪ 39 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,001 -Aah! That's so... -Shut the fuck up. 40 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,046 ♪ Is it the stillness 41 00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:16,092 -Happy Halloween! -♪ That makes you shake? 42 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:19,182 I can see Russia from my house. 43 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,749 Red Vines! Red Vines! 44 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,359 Red Vines! 45 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,492 ♪ What's on the ocean's floor... ♪ 46 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:27,930 That's right! 47 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,283 Hey, hey, Hunter, get out, man. 48 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:37,157 Put your seat belts on! 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,332 Oh, my God! 50 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,467 -Surprise! -Surprise! 51 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,339 No way! Thank you, Mom! 52 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,124 Thank you so much! 53 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,082 Be careful. 54 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:59,962 : ♪ Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 55 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:04,096 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 56 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,403 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 57 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,014 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 58 00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:11,408 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 59 00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,802 ♪ Feelin' good as hell 60 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:16,500 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 61 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,633 Absolutely gorgeous out. 62 00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,243 You're probably gonna miss these mornings 63 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,766 that we spend together, right? 64 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,160 Stop. You're gonna make me cry. 65 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,249 And I don't want to cry, because it's prom night. 66 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,033 And it's supposed to be, like, the most magical night 67 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,252 of your life, and, you know, 68 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,733 I'm just so anxious about it. 69 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:35,519 Well, call me if you feel anxious. 70 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,869 Or maybe FaceTime me, if it wasn't too loud. 71 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,915 I mean, if it was too loud, you could just... 72 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,308 we could wave or whatever. 73 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,961 That'd be funny. 74 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:45,529 And then I can do... You know what I was thinking? 75 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,792 You should send me photos throughout the night. 76 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,142 Like, not... not, like, all night long, 77 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,841 but if you could do it like every 30 minutes or so, 78 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,583 then I can put together one of those iBooks. 79 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,714 -That would be so fun. -Yeah. 80 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,020 That would be a really... 81 00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,761 I don't think you would regret that. 82 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,068 -Mom? -Mm-hmm? 83 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:06,289 Are you gonna be okay when I go to college? 84 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,725 Who, me? 85 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:08,726 Yeah. 86 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,162 Me? 87 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,296 What? 88 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,602 Pl-Please. 89 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,952 Don't even get me... 90 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,910 Don't even... 91 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,261 -Please. 92 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,353 Okay, bye, Mom! 93 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,093 -Okay, bye. -I love you. 94 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,747 Okay, I love you. 95 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,321 Oh, good, you did the laundry. 96 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:41,368 Yeah, and got a totally sleepy, happy baby. 97 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,370 Full-blown Renaissance man. 98 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,154 -Oh. -Believe it. 99 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,634 It's a good thing she's asleep, too. 100 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:47,939 I was going through the laundry. 101 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,724 -Uh-huh. -Found these new thongs. 102 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,466 You know what I'm gonna do with these? 103 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,816 Paging Dr. Muff Diver. Dr. Muff Diver, you're needed 104 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,339 in the O.R. immediately. 105 00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,906 Emergency surgery. Later on tonight, 106 00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,342 I'm tearing these off with my teeth 107 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,604 like an old-school cartoon billy goat. 108 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,040 -Honey. 109 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,390 Mitchell. 110 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,350 Those are your daughter's. 111 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,223 No way. Kayla wears cleats and Bears jerseys, 112 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,355 not some dirty stripper underwear. 113 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:13,617 You thought they were mine. 114 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,184 What, am I giving her allowance in singles? 115 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,620 Go tell her she can't wear these. 116 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,230 Tell her they'll make her sterile, 117 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,015 like with the laptop and my brother's balls. 118 00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,886 We're not sure that's what happened with your brother. 119 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,714 Honey, you're being ridiculous. 120 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,412 Kayla's becoming a woman. This isn't the time 121 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,501 to tighten your grip; it's the time to loosen it. 122 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,590 This? This means we tighten the grip. 123 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,592 This isn't built for comfort; it's built for speed. 124 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,289 We need to slow it the fuck down. 125 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,510 The appliances go in after the backsplash. 126 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:39,251 We've done it the same way every time. 127 00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:43,168 Uh-huh. All right, put him on the phone. 128 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,738 I'm in the bathroom. 129 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,371 Thanks. I was looking for that. 130 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,896 You mind telling me what this is? 131 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,724 -Uh, fuzz. -Yeah. 132 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,639 Yeah, fuzz. That's what I thought it was, 133 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,292 and then upon further investigation, 134 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,773 it is clearly an unravelled filter of a cigarette. 135 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,427 Kayla, are you a... a smoker? 136 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,994 What? No. 137 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,952 Not a smoker, Dad. 138 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,912 Hey, haven't you seen the billions of ads that tell you 139 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,653 -not to do this stuff? -Dad! 140 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,524 You can't teach someone not to try things, okay? 141 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,613 That's what trying things is for-- to teach you things. 142 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,006 It's a contradiction. 143 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,225 It's like telling me 144 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,402 not to go for a triple on a base hit to the gap 145 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,012 when I've made a good turn around first 146 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,709 and I know that the right fielder has a weak arm. 147 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,234 Damn it, you're smart. 148 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,454 Okay. Yeah, all right. 149 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,977 Time to get ready for school, Dad. 150 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,457 Okay, all right. 151 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,546 Julie! Sam! 152 00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:57,634 -Hey, girl! 153 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:58,853 Whoa! 154 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,900 -I almost died. -Prom night! 155 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,467 -Prom! 156 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,382 I'm so, so excited. 157 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,818 Oh, me, too. 158 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,910 Mm. I love you. 159 00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:15,043 I love you, too. 160 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,348 All right. 161 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,437 -We're so gross. -I know. 162 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,699 People are looking at us. 163 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,961 -I don't care. -We better get 164 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,049 "cutest couple" in the yearbook. 165 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,140 ♪ Here we go 166 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,495 ♪ Here we go. 167 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,453 I'm having sex. 168 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,716 That's great. 169 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,195 I'm having soup. 170 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,370 No. 171 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,460 Tonight with Austin. 172 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,505 -Wait, you're finally gonna do it? -Yeah. 173 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,507 I mean, you know, we've been dating for six months, 174 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,117 and we love each other, 175 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,989 and I just awkwardly got my pediatrician 176 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,512 to put me on birth control. 177 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,471 She gave me a sticker. 178 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,342 Two because I was good, so... 179 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,649 I know it's, like, kind of corny or whatever, but it just 180 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,520 seems like prom night... 181 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,696 it's kind of perfect, you know? 182 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,350 We're gonna have, like, 183 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,614 dim lighting and rose petals on the bed 184 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,747 and the scent from that candle that gets me horny 185 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,357 every time I pass it in Walgreens. 186 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,793 All candles get me horny. 187 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,273 I'm gonna look into Austin's eyes, 188 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:14,015 and then he's gonna look into mine, 189 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,017 and then we're gonna, like, 190 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,540 touch each other's faces, you know? 191 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,368 For, like, a long time. 192 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,196 Like, a long time. 193 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,545 Just to, like, connect. 194 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,113 And then we're gonna... 195 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:26,723 Kapow. 196 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,074 All right, fuck it, I'm in. 197 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,554 -What? -I'm in. 198 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,599 I'm having sex tonight, too. 199 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,557 Uh... just like that? 200 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:35,558 Yeah. I mean, why not? 201 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,168 Because it's your first time, 202 00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,780 and your first time should be special and perfect. 203 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,259 Yours can be special and perfect. 204 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:45,089 Mine is gonna be tonight and with that dude. 205 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,700 Yeah, they're just brownies. They're not, like... 206 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,876 Connor Aldrich? Your lab partner? 207 00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,921 -Yeah. What? -You haven't even hooked up with him. 208 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,532 You haven't even seen his thing yet. 209 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,794 What if he has a weird one? 210 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:54,925 They're all weird. 211 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,623 Penises are not for looking at. 212 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,363 They're for use. They're like plungers. 213 00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,975 Listen, my student athlete days are over. 214 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,759 Tonight is the beginning of my adult life, 215 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,501 and for the first time I can do whatever I want. 216 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,721 So I want to go to prom, get drunk, 217 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,898 get potted up on weed and lose my goddamn virginity. 218 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,726 We're gonna have the same first-time-sex anniversary. 219 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,554 We can go to dinner every year and commemorate it. 220 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,556 -Olive Garden. -Yes! Olive Garden. 221 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:17,992 Breadsticks for life, bitch. 222 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,385 -Yeah! -Oh, my God, it is gonna be 223 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,867 such a relief to get this over and done with before college. 224 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,131 Um, no, I mean, like... 225 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,611 No, it's cool. 226 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,134 I just don't think I'm there yet. 227 00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,093 You know, maybe something might happen tonight 228 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:35,096 with me and Chad, but, uh, 229 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,055 I don't think sex is gonna be that thing. 230 00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:41,102 ♪ 231 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:46,542 Sam? 232 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,592 But you never know what could happen. 233 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,942 I mean, maybe my inner sexual Smaug 234 00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,597 will emerge from its keep and spread its mighty wings. 235 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,209 I never know what you're talking about. 236 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,167 -Yeah, I... me, neither. 237 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,126 ♪ 238 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,569 Oh, my God. 239 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:29,150 Julie, is that you? 240 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,767 So realistic. 241 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:43,207 Ugh. God. 242 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,995 Come on, Sam, we're waiting. 243 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,779 Be right there! 244 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:52,739 -There she is. -All right, took me 20 minutes 245 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,305 to figure out how to do video on this thing, 246 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,437 but I finally got it. 247 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,743 Oh! 248 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,527 Nope. Took a picture of myself. 249 00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,703 Siri, video, please. 250 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,097 Wow! That Chad is going to rip 251 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,881 through his little tuxedo pants. 252 00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,796 -Mom. That's gross. -What? 253 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,929 -Why? -'Cause you're practically imagining 254 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,670 your daughter in sexual congress. 255 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:11,758 You sicko. 256 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,498 Ah! 257 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,500 I was just trying to connect with you. 258 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,720 You never talk to us anymore. 259 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,680 -Hey, I got this. -Okay. 260 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,033 Prom night, huh? 261 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,949 I got sad and reflective on my prom night, too. 262 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,559 -You were? -Yeah. I was scared I wasn't 263 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,126 gonna stay friends with the guys I had 264 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,215 been around most of my life, but I was able to... 265 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,651 -Hey, baby, I love you so much. -What? 266 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,739 You just really freaked her out. 267 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,567 Sweetie, if you're worried 268 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:41,744 about that at all, just know you shouldn't be. 269 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,268 You never stay friends with people from high school. 270 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,922 I mean, the oldest friend I have is Jan 271 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,619 from work, and I've known her for three months. 272 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,404 -Who's Jan? -You know Jan, babe. 273 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,101 She draws those silly cartoons. 274 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,669 -Oh, racist Jan. -Yeah, that's the one. 275 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,759 Who you are today is not who you're going to be. 276 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,674 And that's okay. 277 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,981 That's good therapy. -And who you become will be 278 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,592 so different that your friends won't understand you anymore, 279 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,159 and then you will wake up and realize 280 00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,682 these friendships are over. 281 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,684 This feels like a very painful divorce, 282 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,599 just like the one I had with your father, 283 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,601 but then you'll find a Frank. 284 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,778 Uh, I appreciate that, but that's not my deal. 285 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:18,346 I'm still cool with a lot of my boys because 286 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:21,218 on prom night, me, Dennis, Matt and Cory 287 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:24,613 all convinced our friend Steve to join the Army. 288 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,528 He fought in the Persian Gulf War. 289 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,356 He died right away. 290 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:29,923 -But once you go through 291 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,316 something like that, you're bonded for life. 292 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,580 The bedrock of deep, meaningful friendships 293 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,017 is shared experience. 294 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,499 I thought they were gonna put him in the Reserves. 295 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,679 That is some horseshit. 296 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,164 Hmm. 297 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,738 Wow. 298 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,827 You look so beautiful. 299 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,090 Turn around. 300 00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,964 -Wow. 301 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,530 Oh, my goodness. 302 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,836 Wow. 303 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,535 So, what's the big plan for after prom? 304 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:19,363 Uh, we're just going to Austin's. 305 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,712 You really like him, huh? 306 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,584 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's... 307 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,499 Yeah, he's cool. It's not, like, serious or anything. 308 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,980 His mom told me he got into UCLA. 309 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,634 -That's nice. -Yeah, I mean, it's good. 310 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,767 You remember that time when, like, 311 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,900 I thought about going to UCLA? 312 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,206 Yes. That would have been crazy. 313 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,034 That would have been the worst mistake ever. 314 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,863 I don't think it would have been that huge of a mistake. 315 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,648 Uh, yes, it would have. 316 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,433 University of Chicago is perfect. 317 00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,870 It's 45 minutes away. 318 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:51,439 So that way you're gone, but you're not "gone" gone. 319 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,267 But I'm gone. 320 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,486 Right, but not, like, gone. 321 00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,488 Right, but, like, I'm going to college, 322 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,490 and, like, I'm not gonna live at home, 323 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,362 so I'm, like... I'm gone. 324 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,103 Mm-hmm. 325 00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,845 Why are my boobs so big? 326 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,847 -Ready, Kayla? Yup. 327 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:11,502 -And now... - 328 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:12,939 ...standing at five foot, seven inches-- 329 00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,592 five, nine if you count the heels-- 330 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:17,073 straight out of Great Lakes High School, 331 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,206 the prettiest girl in all of prom... 332 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,425 Kayla Mannes! 333 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,388 Uh... just high fives from now on. 334 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,085 Oh, honey, I never thought 335 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,478 I'd see you in a dress. 336 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,393 Technically, it's not a full dress. 337 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,308 Some material is missing from the middle there. 338 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,352 Okay. 339 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:36,397 You look great. 340 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,572 All right. 341 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,878 Yeah, I think it's time to go. 342 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:39,879 Yes. Yeah. 343 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,315 Honey, we got to go. 344 00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,969 -Honey? 345 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,101 Dad, are you okay? 346 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:48,191 It's like when he watched Frozen. 347 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,323 Come on. 348 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,848 Hi. How are you? 349 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,893 -Hi. -Hi. How are you? 350 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:54,894 Oh, Sam. 351 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:55,938 Hi, Marcie. 352 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,679 Oh. Oh, oh. 353 00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,376 -Hey, Mitchell. -Hey. Haven't seen you in a while. 354 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,943 -Yeah. -You know, I was worried 355 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,945 when I never heard back from you about hot yoga. 356 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,599 Called you a bunch of times. 357 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,949 -I ended up having to eat that two-for-one Groupon. -Oh, yeah. 358 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,472 I don't really do the hot yoga thing. 359 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,561 -It's just... -Well, we should catch up, though, right? 360 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,389 -Yeah. -Like a lunch. I don't know. 361 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,261 Yeah, maybe. Yeah, give me a call. 362 00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,697 -I've been calling you. -Mm-hmm. 363 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,307 Doesn't work. 364 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,700 It's not effective. 365 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,065 - -I don't even know. Wait, wait, wait. 366 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,588 -Oh, my gosh, thank you. -You guys, you guys. 367 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:38,981 Wait, this is, like, the best lighting 368 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,591 with the Valencia filter, so wait, wait. 369 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,637 -Oh, God. All right, here we go. - 370 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,943 -Yeah, okay, that's enough. -One more. 371 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,205 -We're good. -Oh, my God. 372 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,728 We need to get this party started. 373 00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:47,903 -Ooh! Okay, Julie. -Hmm? 374 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,122 I got you something. 375 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,776 It's coconut oil. 376 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,039 For lube. 377 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,910 I hear it works just as well 378 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,999 and it makes blow jobs taste like Almond Joy. 379 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,914 Thank God it doesn't taste like Mounds. 380 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,264 I'd rather eat ten dicks than one Mound. 381 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:04,006 -Mm. -But thank you. That's so sweet. 382 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,181 -Oh! -Aw! 383 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,748 -Oh, my God, I'm so excited. -Me, too. 384 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,750 -Oh, my God! -You have to text me, like, right away. 385 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,534 Oh, my God, we're gonna be doing it at the same time. 386 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,188 Oh, my God. We have to talk about it tomorrow. 387 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,581 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, every detail. 388 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,625 -There's gonna be so much to talk about. -Guys? 389 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,019 -Hey, guys. 390 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,500 I want in on this sex pact. 391 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:22,633 Are you sure? You don't have to do this just because we are. 392 00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,026 No, that's not why. 393 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,768 I want to have sex. Yeah. 394 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,205 That's something all three of us have in common. 395 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,467 -Mm-hmm. -Chad is gonna 396 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:34,906 tap that ass with his penis. 397 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:38,040 And I doubt we'll have anal the first time, but... 398 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,390 -All right. -This is gonna make tonight 399 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,522 -even more perfect. -Yeah. 400 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,132 -It's gonna be the three of us! -Yes! 401 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,657 Prom night, motherfuckers! 402 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,095 - -♪ I came to dance, dance, dance, dance... ♪ 403 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,575 Yeah! Rudy, it's coming up. 404 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:52,837 Bear left, bro. 405 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,361 Yeah! Jesus, Rudy. 406 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,667 What the fuck? Yeah! 407 00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:59,366 Oh, my God, it's my fucking dad. 408 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,150 ♪ Hands, hands, hands, hands 409 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:03,022 ♪ You, you... 410 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:09,115 Yeah! Prom night, bitches! 411 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,075 -Yeah! -Oh, God, it's him. 412 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,772 Oh, what's up? Yo! 413 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,732 ♪ We gonna light it up 414 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,951 ♪ Like it's prom night 415 00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,866 Taio Cruz. 416 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,390 ♪ Like it's prom night. 417 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,174 -You got this, girl. -Don't mess this up, 418 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,785 because that limo is totally awesome. 419 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,701 Sam. Sam. 420 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,094 Taio Cruz. 421 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,400 Whew! 422 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,317 Sorry. 423 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,101 -Sorry. Ho! 424 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,929 Whew! 425 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,112 You're so grown up. 426 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,722 Dad, what are you doing here? 427 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,116 You think I'm gonna miss the most important night 428 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,423 of your young life? 429 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,120 -That's graduation. -No. 430 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,469 Graduation's for losers. 431 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,949 Didn't even go to my graduation. 432 00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,299 But prom night-- that's a big one. 433 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:05,562 Prom was the best night of my life. 434 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,086 I think about it every day, 435 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,957 and I want you to have the same experience. 436 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,785 Tonight, you have fun. You don't worry 437 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,831 about any rules that your mom or Frank laid down. 438 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,616 No one gives a fuck about Frank. 439 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,965 All I know is this-- you look amazing, 440 00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,358 and I would love to grab a quick pic. 441 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,621 No. Go stand with the other parents, 442 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,405 and try to be normal. 443 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,407 Sam, I'm not a normal parent. I'm not gonna... 444 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,148 Just... I don't even fucking... 445 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,107 -Holy shit, you invited Hunter? -No, of course not. 446 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,239 I haven't talked to him since he and Brenda got divorced. 447 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:31,806 -You know he calls me all the time? -What? 448 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,895 He wants to play darts. I don't play darts. 449 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,462 -Darts? -You kidding me? 450 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,767 -Anyway, I can't hang out with him. -HUNTER: Oh! 451 00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,508 -I'll be guilty by association. -No, no. 452 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,728 - -I will never forgive that babysitter fucker. 453 00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:42,425 -Hey, Hunter. -Hey, man. Good to see you. 454 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:43,774 -What up? -Hey, all right? 455 00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,124 Mwah! 456 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,214 -Ah. 457 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,911 Did you have another daughter? 458 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,826 I did. I did. Thank you. 459 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,002 -It's... it's been wonderful. -Yeah. 460 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,177 I'm thinking about doing that again. 461 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,396 You know, the whole second round. 462 00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,093 I think a lot of dads kind of 463 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,529 get it right the second time around. 464 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:01,488 Or, you know, you could 465 00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,185 just raise the one that you have. 466 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,665 Well, I did. Too late for that. 467 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,536 Raised. Job done. Hi, honey. 468 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,234 Actually, I heard, 469 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,366 if you spend a significant amount 470 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,281 of time with your children, that you develop 471 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:15,806 some kind of, like, telekinetic bond with them. 472 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:17,895 -Is that true? -I've heard. Mm-hmm. 473 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,549 I hope it's not true, 'cause if it is, 474 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:22,378 Sam has been looking at a lot of Asian porn. 475 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,293 -My wife's Asian. 476 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:25,773 Indian. 477 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,078 That's Asian. 478 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:28,863 This is more like, uh... 479 00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:30,517 It looks like when... the typical Asian. 480 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,171 -Yep, good seeing you, man. -Uh, okay. 481 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,476 Good to see you, brother. You know what I mean. 482 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,218 Who's this guy? Who are you? 483 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,828 Dad, this is my date. 484 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,700 Hi. Uh, it's great to meet you, sir. 485 00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:40,962 -I'm-I'm Connor. -Connor and I-- 486 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,181 we're in the same science class. 487 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,356 We're lab partners. 488 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,705 Yeah, we're working on our chemistry. 489 00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:47,925 Uh... 490 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,364 Um, I'm gonna get a napkin, if that's cool. 491 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:54,018 Okay. 492 00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:56,238 Okay, so, uh... 493 00:19:56,282 --> 00:20:00,024 with this, it's, uh, one shot to the groin, stab and drag. 494 00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,375 I refuse to believe she couldn't do better 495 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,943 -than that loser. -Oh, I think Chad seems nice. 496 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,118 Chad? No, Chad's amazing. 497 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,729 -Look at that fedora. -Yeah. 498 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,339 I'm not talking about Chad. 499 00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,123 I'm talking about fucking Frank. What a dick. 500 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:14,169 Frank does not seem like a dick to me. 501 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,171 He seems like a nice guy. 502 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,868 And you know what? Don't blame Brenda. 503 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,609 It's really hard being alone. 504 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,394 Well, let's just agree to disagree on Frank. 505 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,222 Oh, here they come. Okay, just be cool. 506 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,311 He's gonna talk about his tow truck company instantly. 507 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:28,270 I guarantee you he's gonna throw that shit in my face. 508 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,532 Be cool, be cool, be cool. 509 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:30,707 Brenda. 510 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,143 Hunter. 511 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,189 Frank. 512 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,713 -Lisa. -What'd I do? 513 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,889 I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said your name like that. 514 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,064 This is so nice. Thank you. 515 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,675 You're welcome. 516 00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:45,287 -Okay. 517 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,637 Oh, no, no, no, no. Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis. 518 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,291 -I got to go get Julie's wrap. -Mm. 519 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,250 Were you gonna let our daughter 520 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,773 take a fucking Lyft to prom? 521 00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:54,340 What is this, Afghanistan? 522 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:55,689 How'd you pay for that limo, Hunter? 523 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,212 'Cause I know your credit's in the shitter. 524 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,605 It is. 525 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,650 'Cause I bought your mom a wheelchair. 526 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:02,086 She's gonna pay you back. 527 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,914 With what money, Brenda? Can she pay me back 528 00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,307 with crackers that she steals from restaurants? 529 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,700 I don't want to talk about your mom. 530 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,049 I don't want to talk about her wheelchair. 531 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,398 All I care about is that my daughter 532 00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:10,878 has the greatest night of her life. 533 00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,793 If it was her greatest night, you would not be here. 534 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,360 Oh, what a sick burn. 535 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,926 All right, all right, all right. 536 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,754 -Good. -Yo, wait, yo, yo. We're all adults here. 537 00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:21,192 Let's not make it uncomfortable if you're gonna be around more. 538 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:23,064 -Let's have a beer sometime. -Okay, first of all, 539 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,066 I don't want to go to have a beer with you. 540 00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:26,981 I don't want to hang out with you. I don't like you. 541 00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,635 I don't like your wife. I don't like your guys' deal. 542 00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,289 I think it sucks and it's played out. 543 00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:32,595 Hey, if you ever change your mind, here's my card. 544 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:34,467 Ah, here we go. "Tow with Frank." 545 00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,382 Where'd you come up with that name? 546 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,340 -It's very straightforward. -All right, I'll tell you this. 547 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:39,994 The design of that card is pretty cool. 548 00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:41,604 And my favorite part is right fucking there. 549 00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:43,432 Oh, God. 550 00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,182 ♪ 551 00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:14,985 Wow, that is just... No, that's us, Frank. 552 00:22:15,029 --> 00:22:16,944 -You know what? -I got it. I got it. 553 00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:18,206 You've taken about 15 goddamn selfies. 554 00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,468 -Yeah! -All right. 555 00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:21,165 All right. Cool. 556 00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,253 Bye, Mom. 557 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:23,907 -Have fun, honey. Okay. -I will. 558 00:22:23,951 --> 00:22:25,213 Bye, Dad. 559 00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:27,955 Remember-- stab, turn, drag. 560 00:22:27,998 --> 00:22:29,260 I don't have the knife, Dad. 561 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:30,261 Yes, you do. Check your clutch. 562 00:22:32,525 --> 00:22:34,265 Hey, uh, it's been a pleasure, sir. 563 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:37,268 I really, um, it's... I'm honored. 564 00:22:37,312 --> 00:22:38,705 -Oh. 565 00:22:38,748 --> 00:22:40,315 Intense, professional grip. 566 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,708 Cheers. 567 00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:43,449 Take it easy, big guy. 568 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:46,843 Hey, uh, you guys have a good night, too, you know. 569 00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:48,367 Thank you. 570 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,325 See that smirk? What was up with that smirk? 571 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,414 You are intense. 572 00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:53,807 Sam. Hey. -Oh, hey, Mr. Lockwood. 573 00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,199 -Hey. -Nice to meet you. 574 00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:57,114 -Chad, yes, come on, man. Bring it in. -Yes. Oh. 575 00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:58,420 Good. Yeah. 576 00:22:58,464 --> 00:22:59,813 My hat. 577 00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:02,468 -I want to talk to Sam real quick. -Yeah. Okay. 578 00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:04,818 Uh, let-let me get a picture real quick. Chad. 579 00:23:04,861 --> 00:23:06,689 -Oh. Okay. -Real quick photo. Just so fast. 580 00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:08,038 Just don't even fuck with a filter. 581 00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:09,431 -Just-just plain. -Okay. Here we go. 582 00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:10,998 -There we go. And there. -And then you want to get 583 00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,391 a quick one of me and Chad real quick? 584 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,566 -That sounds cool. -Here you go. 585 00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:16,003 Real quick. Just a couple fun ones. 586 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:17,439 What are we doing? Uh... like this? 587 00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:19,267 -Bros. 588 00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:20,834 Duck lips. 589 00:23:20,877 --> 00:23:22,966 -And then just kind of a... 590 00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:24,490 Julie? 591 00:23:24,533 --> 00:23:26,187 Can I talk to you a second? 592 00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:28,058 We got to go. I love you. 593 00:23:28,102 --> 00:23:29,146 I'd really like to talk to you. 594 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:30,713 But I really gotta go. 595 00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:32,280 Okay, fine. Just don't forget your wrap. 596 00:23:32,323 --> 00:23:33,760 It's okay. 597 00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:35,457 -I don't think I need it. -Are you sure? 598 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:38,417 Because we live in Chicago, and it's chilly. 599 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,201 I don't know about other places, 600 00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:42,856 but it gets cold in Illinois. 601 00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:46,120 It's not that cold tonight, so I don't 602 00:23:46,163 --> 00:23:48,165 -think I need it, okay? -Okay, Julie, wait. 603 00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:50,559 So you'll call me when you get to Austin's after prom, right? 604 00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:51,560 Right. 605 00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:53,432 Okay. 606 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:55,085 -Okay. -I love you. 607 00:23:55,129 --> 00:23:56,913 Okay. I-I love you. 608 00:23:58,132 --> 00:23:59,481 Okay! 609 00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:00,874 Whew. 610 00:24:00,917 --> 00:24:02,832 -Mm. Okay. 611 00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:10,797 This is so cool! 612 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,625 -Blow it out! 613 00:24:14,278 --> 00:24:15,541 Chad, I, um... 614 00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:17,151 I saw you do Pippin last year. 615 00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:18,805 -That was really good. -Oh. Nice. - 616 00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,459 Yeah, you're a really good singer, man. 617 00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,286 -What are you doing this year? -Yeah. Um, we're actually 618 00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:24,811 doing Arnold, which is an all-male version of Annie. 619 00:24:24,854 --> 00:24:27,248 Okay. Caught you drinking. 620 00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:29,250 Just kidding, y'all. 621 00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:32,601 I may look like a parent, but I assure you, I am no narc. 622 00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:35,212 Thank you, sir. 623 00:24:36,605 --> 00:24:38,651 Not done yet. Name's Rudy. 624 00:24:38,694 --> 00:24:40,348 I did not go to my prom. 625 00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:42,263 No, my leg was crushed by a cement truck, 626 00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:43,743 so I could not dance, but... 627 00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:46,006 So I've made it my mission in life-- 628 00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:47,398 well, my whole career-- 629 00:24:47,442 --> 00:24:49,444 to make sure that little kids like you 630 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,620 have a wonderful night to remember forever. 631 00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:55,406 So just sit back, relax and enjoy your prom night. 632 00:24:55,450 --> 00:24:56,756 -Okay. 633 00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:59,759 Oh, fuck, that was the turn! Fuck! 634 00:25:01,325 --> 00:25:03,284 Hey, Lis? 635 00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:04,981 You got any S.O.S. pads? 636 00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:07,288 I'm soaking those pans, but you burnt the shit 637 00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:09,290 out of that mac and cheese, and... 638 00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:11,553 sponge just isn't gonna cut it. 639 00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:13,555 Thanks for helping clean up. 640 00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:15,296 Don't mention this one. 641 00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:18,255 I mean, Marcie brought the baby home early, and... 642 00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:19,779 I got to keep busy. 643 00:25:19,822 --> 00:25:22,869 I got to keep my mind off of Kayla and "Connor." 644 00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:25,611 That's not the right way to use those. 645 00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:27,917 'Cause his name is actually Connor. 646 00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:29,310 So... 647 00:25:30,703 --> 00:25:32,356 It's okay. 648 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,533 -UCLA? -Uh-huh. 649 00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:36,012 I didn't mean to snoop, but I'm... 650 00:25:36,056 --> 00:25:37,361 No, no. It's okay. 651 00:25:37,405 --> 00:25:39,233 I mean, I don't think it's a real thing. 652 00:25:39,276 --> 00:25:40,669 She's not actually gonna go. 653 00:25:40,713 --> 00:25:42,584 I think she just applied for fun. 654 00:25:42,628 --> 00:25:45,021 She didn't... Why? Have you heard differently? 655 00:25:45,065 --> 00:25:47,633 I would assume it's to go, but she very well 656 00:25:47,676 --> 00:25:49,591 could have applied ironically. 657 00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:51,114 You... you know millennials, right? 658 00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:52,638 -Hmm. Mm-hmm. -And wherever she goes, 659 00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:54,640 you can have a bunch of time on your hands. 660 00:25:54,683 --> 00:25:55,858 Can figure out what you want to do 661 00:25:55,902 --> 00:25:56,946 for the back nine of your life. 662 00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:58,208 Uh-huh. Yeah. 663 00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:02,778 I think Julie left her laptop open. 664 00:26:02,822 --> 00:26:04,824 Julie's doing a lot of texting. 665 00:26:04,867 --> 00:26:06,782 -Mm-hmm. -Is everything okay? 666 00:26:06,826 --> 00:26:08,697 Maybe we should check to see? 667 00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,133 -Peace of mind. -Yeah. 668 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:16,096 What the hell is that? 669 00:26:16,139 --> 00:26:17,967 I have no idea. 670 00:26:21,231 --> 00:26:22,537 What are you still doing here? 671 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:24,060 Hey, your, uh... 672 00:26:24,104 --> 00:26:26,672 your mac and cheese is messed up. 673 00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:31,633 Are you guys snooping on your kids? 674 00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:33,374 That is not cool. 675 00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:35,681 No, it's not snooping if the information shows up. 676 00:26:35,724 --> 00:26:36,856 That's exactly what snooping is. 677 00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,597 No, it's like the Patriot Act. It's... 678 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,294 Well, it's not like the Patriot Act. 679 00:26:40,337 --> 00:26:41,991 -It's like snooping. Okay, we don't know 680 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:43,645 what they're talking about, so... 681 00:26:43,689 --> 00:26:44,820 -What? -Okay. 682 00:26:44,864 --> 00:26:46,387 Oh, is it like puzzles? 683 00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:48,519 Ooh, ooh! I love puzzles. Just saw Inferno. 684 00:26:48,563 --> 00:26:50,304 Yeah, great. What are they saying? 685 00:26:50,347 --> 00:26:51,958 Okay, so there's something about an eggplant hand... 686 00:26:52,001 --> 00:26:53,742 -handshake. -Eggplant agreement. 687 00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:55,788 Yeah. They got an agreement to make eggplant parmesan. 688 00:26:55,831 --> 00:26:57,659 No, eggplants are dicks in teenage emoji language. 689 00:26:57,703 --> 00:26:59,095 -What? -LISA: You know what, that's true. 690 00:26:59,139 --> 00:27:00,531 Julie told me that-- that the emojis have... 691 00:27:00,575 --> 00:27:02,272 -they all have secret meanings. -Mm-hmm. 692 00:27:02,316 --> 00:27:05,667 So, like, trees are weed, and snowflakes are cocaine, 693 00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:08,496 and that thing is "yas queen." 694 00:27:08,539 --> 00:27:10,367 -Yas queen! -What the hell is that? 695 00:27:10,411 --> 00:27:11,542 -You've never heard of "yas queen"? -No. 696 00:27:11,586 --> 00:27:12,543 All right, grandpa. 697 00:27:12,587 --> 00:27:14,545 Hold on. Julie is making... 698 00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:17,157 some kind of a dick-related agreement here. 699 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,463 Kayla is in on the agreement. 700 00:27:19,507 --> 00:27:20,900 -No fucking way. -"Okay, clown face." 701 00:27:20,943 --> 00:27:22,858 What the fuck does that mean? 702 00:27:22,902 --> 00:27:25,731 That means she's down to clown. 703 00:27:27,733 --> 00:27:29,125 Okay. Three eggplants? 704 00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,692 And look at the drool coming out of that smiley face. 705 00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:31,780 You wish that was drool. 706 00:27:31,824 --> 00:27:33,042 -That's come, my man. -Stand down. 707 00:27:33,086 --> 00:27:34,696 It is. Look, it's come. He's like... 708 00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:36,742 This is sex if I've ever seen it 709 00:27:36,785 --> 00:27:38,744 -illustrated in emoji form. -Oh, no, no, no. Maybe not. 710 00:27:38,787 --> 00:27:40,397 They're best friends. They're just saying, like, 711 00:27:40,441 --> 00:27:42,356 "You're okay with me. You're okay to me. 712 00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:44,488 -You're okay to me." -You say that to your friends? 713 00:27:44,532 --> 00:27:45,751 Whenever I see my friends, I go, 714 00:27:45,794 --> 00:27:46,969 "Hey, you're okay with me." 715 00:27:47,013 --> 00:27:48,492 -I don't use these. Hold on. 716 00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:50,320 Agreement hands, agreement hands, 717 00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,192 agreement hands. This is a... It's a sex agreement. 718 00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,194 -They're making a sex pact. 719 00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:56,370 They're gonna lose their virginity on prom night. 720 00:27:56,413 --> 00:27:58,111 That cannot be a sex pact. 721 00:27:58,154 --> 00:27:59,721 That? That is friendship. 722 00:27:59,765 --> 00:28:02,289 And that is... that is the bond of friendship 723 00:28:02,332 --> 00:28:03,812 that can never be broken. 724 00:28:03,856 --> 00:28:05,205 -I mean, maybe. -Yeah. 725 00:28:05,248 --> 00:28:06,989 Oh, look, they wrote "Sex Pact 2018." 726 00:28:07,033 --> 00:28:09,775 I fucking knew it! I love puzzles. 727 00:28:09,818 --> 00:28:11,472 I told you guys. Have you seen Inferno? 728 00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:13,126 -Lis, have you seen Inferno? -Call your kid. 729 00:28:13,169 --> 00:28:14,736 Have you guys seen Inferno? 730 00:28:14,780 --> 00:28:16,564 I figured it out in two seconds. Did you see Inferno? 731 00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:18,348 The guy jumps off the thing in the beginning. 732 00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:20,394 He's got a virus. Have you seen Inferno with Tom Hanks? 733 00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:21,961 Okay. Okay, she's not answering her phone. 734 00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:23,266 Yeah, Kayla isn't, either. 735 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:24,615 Okay, what the heck is happening? 736 00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:26,269 She's always been honest with me. 737 00:28:26,313 --> 00:28:27,836 She's always told me the truth, 738 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,360 and now I'm just swimming in a pool of lies. 739 00:28:30,404 --> 00:28:31,884 Okay. Here's what's gonna happen. 740 00:28:31,927 --> 00:28:34,713 She's gonna have sex with that Austin kid, 741 00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:36,976 and then she's gonna think that she has 742 00:28:37,019 --> 00:28:40,153 all these feelings, which she does not actually have, 743 00:28:40,196 --> 00:28:42,459 then she's gonna drive across country 744 00:28:42,503 --> 00:28:45,767 and follow him and ruin her fucking life. 745 00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:47,160 Okay, I think that's a pretty big 746 00:28:47,203 --> 00:28:48,639 leap to make when you read a... 747 00:28:48,683 --> 00:28:51,947 I have invested every single piece of my being 748 00:28:51,991 --> 00:28:53,775 into preparing Kayla for success, and now this? 749 00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:58,475 She is about to have sex with some dipshit with a "man bun." 750 00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:01,000 You're not using those in the right way. 751 00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:03,176 Hey, can we all come back to "planet Earth"? 752 00:29:03,219 --> 00:29:04,873 'Cause this is not a big deal. 753 00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:06,657 They're teenage girls. They have sex. 754 00:29:06,701 --> 00:29:10,444 Do you, like, freak out when you see a bee fucking a flower? 755 00:29:13,839 --> 00:29:16,058 -I'm gonna stop her. -I'm in. 756 00:29:16,102 --> 00:29:17,886 Let's cock-block those motherfuckers. 757 00:29:17,930 --> 00:29:19,932 Whoa. 758 00:29:19,975 --> 00:29:21,498 No, sir. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no. 759 00:29:21,542 --> 00:29:23,196 I promised Sam the greatest night of her life, 760 00:29:23,239 --> 00:29:24,806 and if you guys fuck up your daughters' night, 761 00:29:24,850 --> 00:29:26,286 it's gonna fuck up my daughter's night, 762 00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:27,940 and that shit is "not cool." 763 00:29:27,983 --> 00:29:29,463 I don't give a fuck what's cool with you. 764 00:29:29,506 --> 00:29:31,204 Let's go, Mitchell. I'll drive. 765 00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:32,683 Hey, hey, hey, wait! No, no, no. 766 00:29:32,727 --> 00:29:33,902 You want to go? 767 00:29:33,946 --> 00:29:35,382 You're gonna have to go through me. 768 00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:36,775 -Oh, Jesus. 769 00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:38,385 Okay, you called my bluff. Wait. 770 00:29:38,428 --> 00:29:39,952 Wait! Hey, hey! 771 00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:41,475 -Get off! Get off of me! -Hey! Hey! 772 00:29:41,518 --> 00:29:43,303 -Get off! -It's not cool! 773 00:29:43,346 --> 00:29:44,957 "It's not cool!" 774 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,481 Hey! What's the plan? This is stupid. 775 00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:52,834 Fuck off. 776 00:29:52,878 --> 00:29:55,097 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. What the fuck are you doing? 777 00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:57,491 I just need to talk to my daughter for five minutes. 778 00:29:57,534 --> 00:29:58,884 Get out of the car! 779 00:29:58,927 --> 00:30:00,537 -You get out. You get out. -You get out. 780 00:30:00,581 --> 00:30:02,148 -Stop saying what I'm saying. Open the door! 781 00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:03,845 -Stop saying what I'm saying. -Stop saying what I'm saying. 782 00:30:03,889 --> 00:30:05,325 -Stop... Okay, listen, listen. Hey. 783 00:30:05,368 --> 00:30:06,892 Lis. Okay, everyone calm down, calm down. 784 00:30:06,935 --> 00:30:08,589 -But you got to go. -The-the window. 785 00:30:08,632 --> 00:30:10,417 -No, the window. Hey. 786 00:30:10,460 --> 00:30:12,593 -What the fuck? No! Holy... 787 00:30:15,552 --> 00:30:16,858 Ah, these are new shorts! 788 00:30:16,902 --> 00:30:17,903 Truce! Truce! 789 00:30:17,946 --> 00:30:19,034 Truce. 790 00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:21,254 Truce, truce, truce. 791 00:30:21,297 --> 00:30:22,908 -I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 792 00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:24,605 -Oh, my fucking God. 793 00:30:24,648 --> 00:30:25,562 Aah! 794 00:30:26,694 --> 00:30:27,782 Sorry, man. 795 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:28,870 It's not gonna work. 796 00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:30,350 You're not Schwarzenegger. 797 00:30:32,439 --> 00:30:34,093 How is that possible? 798 00:30:34,136 --> 00:30:35,921 How is that possible? Oh, shit. 799 00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:37,661 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh! 800 00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:38,880 Oh, my balls! My balls! 801 00:30:38,924 --> 00:30:40,316 Your ass is so... 802 00:30:41,578 --> 00:30:43,580 -Get... -Hey! Hey! 803 00:30:43,624 --> 00:30:45,060 -Get out! -Not cool! Aah! 804 00:30:45,104 --> 00:30:46,627 You're bullying me. 805 00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:47,889 This is bullying. 806 00:30:47,933 --> 00:30:50,109 What you're doing is wrong! 807 00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:52,546 You know your daughter's in this stupid sex pact, too. 808 00:30:52,589 --> 00:30:54,940 Yeah, and she's not gonna do anything about it, okay? 809 00:30:54,983 --> 00:30:57,029 Oh, like you would know what your daughter's gonna do. 810 00:30:57,072 --> 00:30:59,031 Okay, first of all, ouch. 811 00:30:59,074 --> 00:31:00,684 Second of all, I know nothing 812 00:31:00,728 --> 00:31:02,948 is gonna happen with Sam because... 813 00:31:02,991 --> 00:31:04,688 because she's gay. 814 00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:05,907 Really? 815 00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:07,430 Did she come out to you? 816 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:08,518 No, of course not. 817 00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:09,998 She barely speaks to me. 818 00:31:10,042 --> 00:31:11,521 Then how do you know? 819 00:31:11,565 --> 00:31:12,914 Because, bro, I'm her dad. 820 00:31:12,958 --> 00:31:14,916 And there's just some things you know. 821 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,048 Chad is nothing. 822 00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:17,397 He's like a beard. 823 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,312 Or whatever a lesbian beard is. 824 00:31:19,355 --> 00:31:20,400 A merkin? 825 00:31:20,443 --> 00:31:21,923 I don't know. The point is, 826 00:31:21,967 --> 00:31:23,969 I guarantee you they don't even kiss, okay? 827 00:31:24,012 --> 00:31:25,796 I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about 828 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,624 you two dicks fucking up her night. 829 00:31:27,668 --> 00:31:29,888 Okay, well, what you don't understand is that sex 830 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:32,281 can be very confusing for young girls 831 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:35,241 and make them say things and do things that they might regret. 832 00:31:35,284 --> 00:31:36,851 Like dropping out of college 833 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,940 to follow around the Dave Matthews Band 834 00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:40,550 with a guy they think they love 835 00:31:40,594 --> 00:31:42,552 who then winds up getting them pregnant 836 00:31:42,596 --> 00:31:45,033 and then leaving them for the girl who makes 837 00:31:45,077 --> 00:31:48,645 grilled cheese sandwiches with hash aioli on them. 838 00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:51,866 Yeah, that is a... 839 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:55,478 extremely specific scenario, and that won't happen to Julie. 840 00:31:55,522 --> 00:31:57,002 Dave's not even touring right now. 841 00:31:57,045 --> 00:31:58,699 He's taking time off for fatherhood. 842 00:31:58,742 --> 00:32:00,396 It was me, you idiot. 843 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,398 Me. That happened to me. 844 00:32:02,442 --> 00:32:03,965 Yeah. 845 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:06,489 ♪ Yeah, move somethin', move somethin' ♪ 846 00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:09,014 ♪ Make you wanna do somethin', do somethin' ♪ 847 00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:11,581 ♪ Dance for the night, live for the day ♪ 848 00:32:11,625 --> 00:32:14,062 ♪ Hey, ho, hey 849 00:32:14,106 --> 00:32:16,151 ♪ Yeah, move somethin', move somethin'... ♪ 850 00:32:16,195 --> 00:32:18,023 You weren't ready. Okay, one more, one more. 851 00:32:18,066 --> 00:32:19,676 Smile. 852 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:20,677 I closed my eyes. 853 00:32:20,721 --> 00:32:22,679 Oh, my God. 854 00:32:22,723 --> 00:32:24,855 You guys, this is our song. 855 00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:27,119 Do you remember when we got snowed in at Sam's 856 00:32:27,162 --> 00:32:28,816 and we played this, like, over and over? 857 00:32:28,859 --> 00:32:30,122 -Yes! -We have to dance! 858 00:32:30,165 --> 00:32:31,819 -We have to dance! -This is our jam! 859 00:32:31,862 --> 00:32:34,039 ♪ Scream my name 860 00:32:34,082 --> 00:32:36,084 ♪ I love me 861 00:32:36,128 --> 00:32:38,782 ♪ Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 862 00:32:38,826 --> 00:32:40,784 ♪ Hey, gonna love myself 863 00:32:40,828 --> 00:32:42,264 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 864 00:32:42,308 --> 00:32:44,092 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 865 00:32:44,136 --> 00:32:46,094 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else... ♪ 866 00:32:46,138 --> 00:32:47,269 -Hey. Hey. -Hey. 867 00:32:47,313 --> 00:32:48,357 -I want a drink. -Okay. 868 00:32:48,401 --> 00:32:49,402 Yeah, let's go get one. 869 00:32:49,445 --> 00:32:51,534 No, no, no, no. Like, a drink. 870 00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:52,840 Oh, you want a "drink" drink. 871 00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:54,755 -Yeah. -Okay, let me call my guy. 872 00:32:54,798 --> 00:32:56,365 Hello, Mr. Drink-Drink. 873 00:32:56,409 --> 00:32:59,064 -Let's go get fucked up. -Okay. 874 00:32:59,107 --> 00:33:01,066 Hey, wait, Kayla, Kayla. 875 00:33:01,109 --> 00:33:02,458 Ah, it's... 876 00:33:02,502 --> 00:33:05,244 ♪ Any time that I like 877 00:33:05,287 --> 00:33:06,897 ♪ I love me... 878 00:33:12,294 --> 00:33:14,383 Hey, Chad. 879 00:33:14,427 --> 00:33:16,168 I'm gonna go get, uh, some dessert. 880 00:33:16,211 --> 00:33:18,126 -Get me two. 881 00:33:18,170 --> 00:33:22,000 ♪ The beautiful, it comes without you, yeah ♪ 882 00:33:22,043 --> 00:33:25,873 ♪ I'm gonna put my body first 883 00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:27,918 ♪ And love me so hard... 884 00:33:27,962 --> 00:33:30,356 Hey, Angelica, it's a nice cape. 885 00:33:30,399 --> 00:33:32,053 Oh, hey, Sam. 886 00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:34,360 Thank you. 887 00:33:34,403 --> 00:33:36,362 ♪ Scream the words... 888 00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:38,712 Um, yeah, it's a... it's a Galadriel cape 889 00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:40,888 that I made a couple months ago for LordCon. 890 00:33:40,931 --> 00:33:42,455 Figured I could wear it again. 891 00:33:42,498 --> 00:33:45,023 Not too much overlap on the guest list. 892 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,676 Yeah. 893 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,678 Yeah, totally. 894 00:33:50,245 --> 00:33:52,247 Who'd you come here with? 895 00:33:52,291 --> 00:33:54,380 Um, just my friends. 896 00:33:54,423 --> 00:33:56,991 Lauren and I broke up. 897 00:33:58,123 --> 00:33:59,254 Oh. 898 00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:01,082 No hard feelings, though. 899 00:34:01,126 --> 00:34:04,346 Um, she's still a little confused. 900 00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:08,481 How do you think one becomes... 901 00:34:08,524 --> 00:34:11,353 not confused? 902 00:34:11,397 --> 00:34:14,922 It's probably different for everyone. 903 00:34:14,965 --> 00:34:17,142 But for me, when I kissed Brad Markowski, 904 00:34:17,185 --> 00:34:18,621 I started to suspect it. 905 00:34:18,665 --> 00:34:20,145 And then last year, when I touched 906 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:23,365 Dash Lowenstein's dick, I was like, "Fuck no." 907 00:34:23,409 --> 00:34:25,672 It was like holding a dead snake. 908 00:34:25,715 --> 00:34:27,021 Hmm. 909 00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:31,373 But I guess you never know until you try. 910 00:34:32,853 --> 00:34:36,161 ♪ I know how to scream my own name ♪ 911 00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:40,121 ♪ Scream my name... 912 00:34:40,165 --> 00:34:41,992 Uh, before I do drink this, though, 913 00:34:42,036 --> 00:34:43,516 I just want to let you know 914 00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:45,735 that I am fully planning on having sex tonight. 915 00:34:47,259 --> 00:34:48,825 With... with you. 916 00:34:48,869 --> 00:34:51,872 Yeah, I-I mean, wherever the wind blows us. 917 00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:54,092 Well, the wind's gonna blow us there. 918 00:34:54,135 --> 00:34:55,658 Wherever the night takes us, it's... 919 00:34:55,702 --> 00:34:57,443 It's gonna take your penis into my vagina. 920 00:34:57,486 --> 00:35:01,229 Okay, uh, you know, if the universe wills it. 921 00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:03,405 And the universe will will it. 922 00:35:05,277 --> 00:35:07,801 Thanks for letting me know, I guess. 923 00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:10,499 -Oh, yeah. 924 00:35:10,543 --> 00:35:12,327 -Oh, my God. -I warned you. 925 00:35:12,371 --> 00:35:13,894 -This is what gin tastes like? -No, no. 926 00:35:13,937 --> 00:35:15,374 I've heard that gin sucks, and this sucks. 927 00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:16,418 No, it's... 928 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:19,465 -I made it. Um... -Oh. 929 00:35:19,508 --> 00:35:21,597 This is so dumb, okay? 930 00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:23,033 Our kids are gonna hate us 931 00:35:23,077 --> 00:35:24,296 because you're gonna humiliate them. 932 00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:26,167 I'm not gonna humiliate Julie. 933 00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:28,169 We're best friends. I'm the cool mom. 934 00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:30,040 Hunter, don't make me sit on your balls again. 935 00:35:30,084 --> 00:35:32,173 Stop, stop, stop it, stop, stop. 936 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:35,133 This is how they're gonna be remembered in high school. 937 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:38,092 As the weirdos whose parents dragged them out of prom 938 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,746 because they were afraid of their sexuality. 939 00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,182 It's not something that should be feared. 940 00:35:41,226 --> 00:35:42,966 It should be celebrated. 941 00:35:44,664 --> 00:35:47,014 And-and-and we have to empower these young women. 942 00:35:47,057 --> 00:35:48,711 I mean, what year is it, guys? 943 00:35:48,755 --> 00:35:51,149 -It's 2018. 944 00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:52,454 Jesus Christ. 945 00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:54,413 Oh, gross. -Okay, you know what? 946 00:35:54,456 --> 00:35:55,979 That's an unfortunate coincidence. 947 00:35:56,023 --> 00:35:57,242 Get a fucking room! 948 00:35:57,285 --> 00:35:58,765 ♪ 949 00:35:58,808 --> 00:36:02,203 ♪ The good life is the life for me... ♪ 950 00:36:05,728 --> 00:36:07,600 Let's take a picture. 951 00:36:07,643 --> 00:36:09,471 Kayla! Let's take a picture right now. 952 00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:10,820 -Okay, cool. -Right now. Right now. 953 00:36:10,864 --> 00:36:12,300 Cheese. 954 00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:15,216 Oh, my God, my mom called me like 15 times. 955 00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:16,783 -Ooh. Nope. -She's crazy. 956 00:36:16,826 --> 00:36:18,176 -No, that's a no. -That's kind of funny. 957 00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:20,613 -Boom. Airplane mode. -No. 958 00:36:20,656 --> 00:36:23,093 Yeah. We're flying the friendly skies now. 959 00:36:23,137 --> 00:36:24,486 Yeah, till she freaks out. 960 00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:25,966 Hey, can we please, like, get out of here? 961 00:36:26,009 --> 00:36:27,707 No. We can't go right now. 962 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:29,578 They haven't even played me and Austin's song yet. 963 00:36:29,622 --> 00:36:31,189 How are we gonna get in the mood? 964 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,451 I don't know, light your Walgreens candle. 965 00:36:32,494 --> 00:36:34,844 That's later. Don't you want... Look, look. 966 00:36:34,888 --> 00:36:37,238 Jake Donahue is just warming up. 967 00:36:37,282 --> 00:36:38,979 Don't you want to see him break-dance 968 00:36:39,022 --> 00:36:40,372 -and probably hurt himself? -No. 969 00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:41,895 -It's gonna be so good. -I don't. 970 00:36:41,938 --> 00:36:43,679 : Do you remember at the Sadie Hawkins Dance 971 00:36:43,723 --> 00:36:45,159 when he tried to do the worm 972 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:47,030 and he fell and broke his two front teeth? 973 00:36:47,074 --> 00:36:49,032 -Yeah. He had to go to the hospital. -I have pictures. 974 00:36:49,076 --> 00:36:50,817 -It was great, and this is gonna be better. -Mm... 975 00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:52,253 -No, no, no. No! -So we're staying. 976 00:36:52,297 --> 00:36:54,212 Julie, Julie, I promise that you're 977 00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,301 gonna dance to your song with your boyfriend tonight. 978 00:36:56,344 --> 00:36:58,216 This place is dying, okay? 979 00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:00,566 -We got to get out of here. -Okay, fine. 980 00:37:00,609 --> 00:37:03,308 Okay, cool. Let's go. 981 00:37:03,351 --> 00:37:05,266 We're going to the lake house. 982 00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:07,616 I am not sure that this was worth $85. 983 00:37:07,660 --> 00:37:09,662 -Where's Chad? -What? 984 00:37:09,705 --> 00:37:11,707 Oh, he's probably out on the dance floor. 985 00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,927 I'm gonna go find him and meet you guys outside. 986 00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:15,885 -All right. -Okay. 987 00:37:15,929 --> 00:37:18,061 ♪ 988 00:37:30,335 --> 00:37:31,814 The fuck? 989 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:37,690 Smirking little piece of shit. 990 00:37:37,733 --> 00:37:39,648 -Top knot. Top knot. -Let's get him. 991 00:37:39,692 --> 00:37:41,607 Yeah, you guys go do that. 992 00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:43,696 I'm gonna get some punch. 993 00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:46,438 All right, asshole, what'd you do with my daughter? 994 00:37:46,481 --> 00:37:48,353 Two of you guys have the same shitty haircut? 995 00:37:48,396 --> 00:37:49,702 Hey. 996 00:37:49,745 --> 00:37:52,139 Look at me. My hair's too long. 997 00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:55,534 Hey. You can't go around assaulting children. 998 00:37:55,577 --> 00:37:59,102 You have to blend in if you want some information, okay? 999 00:37:59,146 --> 00:38:01,409 So just... just be cool. 1000 00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:03,281 God. 1001 00:38:03,324 --> 00:38:05,239 Okay. 1002 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,414 Julie? 1003 00:38:07,633 --> 00:38:08,721 Julie? 1004 00:38:08,764 --> 00:38:11,158 ♪ Nothing lasts forever 1005 00:38:11,201 --> 00:38:15,031 ♪ But we won't know till we try... ♪ 1006 00:38:15,075 --> 00:38:17,077 Prom night, huh? 1007 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,340 What? 1008 00:38:19,384 --> 00:38:22,778 Just... just special night. 1009 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:27,957 ♪ You make me feel so alive... ♪ 1010 00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,655 Got to try. 1011 00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:36,139 ♪ You make me feel so alive... ♪ 1012 00:38:36,183 --> 00:38:37,576 -Chad? -Yeah. 1013 00:38:46,585 --> 00:38:49,936 ♪ Oh... 1014 00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:51,459 ♪ One for the money 1015 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,983 ♪ Give me all your money 1016 00:38:54,027 --> 00:38:56,029 ♪ Oh... 1017 00:38:56,072 --> 00:38:58,292 This is my moment. 1018 00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:00,163 ♪ One for the money 1019 00:39:00,207 --> 00:39:02,296 ♪ We gonna make you lose control ♪ 1020 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,254 ♪ 1021 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:10,739 ♪ We gonna make you lose control... ♪ 1022 00:39:14,656 --> 00:39:16,963 You ruined my moment! 1023 00:39:17,006 --> 00:39:19,400 Fuck your moment. 1024 00:39:19,444 --> 00:39:21,054 -What happened back there? -What happened is that... 1025 00:39:21,097 --> 00:39:23,752 is that my daughter was kissing Chad even though she hated it. 1026 00:39:23,796 --> 00:39:25,319 And I've been dragged into this situation 1027 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,495 -by you two fucking idiots. -Just ignore him. 1028 00:39:27,539 --> 00:39:29,018 -Great idea. -We're gonna go to Austin's house. 1029 00:39:29,062 --> 00:39:30,542 Julie said that's where the after-party is, 1030 00:39:30,585 --> 00:39:32,500 -and we'll get 'em there. -And that sounds like a plan. 1031 00:39:32,544 --> 00:39:33,936 Hey, how dare you ignore me. 1032 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:35,634 We are in this situation because you two 1033 00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:37,723 raised a couple of bigots who have shamed my daughter 1034 00:39:37,766 --> 00:39:39,420 into losing her virginity to the wrong sex. 1035 00:39:39,464 --> 00:39:41,422 Shame. 1036 00:39:41,466 --> 00:39:44,207 My daughter is not a bigot. 1037 00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:47,254 We go to all of the marches. 1038 00:39:47,297 --> 00:39:50,170 We went to the Tax Day March, and nobody goes to that shit. 1039 00:39:50,213 --> 00:39:52,041 -Nobody. -Ignore him. 1040 00:39:52,085 --> 00:39:53,216 -It's hard. -Yeah, it is hard. 1041 00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:54,435 'Cause I don't quit. 1042 00:39:54,479 --> 00:39:56,045 And now I have to go rescue Sam, 1043 00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:57,830 okay, because she is scared and confused, 1044 00:39:57,873 --> 00:40:00,223 and I know what it's like to be ostracized by society 1045 00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:01,747 for your sexual preferences. 1046 00:40:01,790 --> 00:40:03,531 Sleeping with women that aren't your wife 1047 00:40:03,575 --> 00:40:05,403 isn't a sexual preference. 1048 00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:07,535 No, it is. I prefer them. 1049 00:40:07,579 --> 00:40:09,450 How parents can let 1050 00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:10,669 their kids play music this loud. 1051 00:40:10,712 --> 00:40:12,497 We all share this planet. 1052 00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:14,673 This is how loud I listen to my music, dawg. 1053 00:40:14,716 --> 00:40:16,457 Probably won't even be able to hear us. 1054 00:40:17,589 --> 00:40:19,634 It's so dark in there. 1055 00:40:19,678 --> 00:40:21,549 You know, they... okay, they could be in the backyard 1056 00:40:21,593 --> 00:40:22,681 playing two-on-two hoops. I don't know. 1057 00:40:22,724 --> 00:40:23,682 Oh! 1058 00:40:23,725 --> 00:40:25,423 Oh, I found a big window. 1059 00:40:25,466 --> 00:40:27,512 Oh, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't. 1060 00:40:27,555 --> 00:40:30,384 Trust me. Do not look in that window. 1061 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:31,907 -What? -Just look at me. Do not look in this window. 1062 00:40:31,951 --> 00:40:32,995 Do not look in this fucking window. 1063 00:40:34,910 --> 00:40:37,957 Julie's red dress. 1064 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,220 -Yeah. -Oh, shit. 1065 00:40:42,918 --> 00:40:45,878 You know, I know... I know this must be tough for you. 1066 00:40:45,921 --> 00:40:49,838 I mean, if... hell, if that was Kayla in there, I'd... 1067 00:40:49,882 --> 00:40:52,232 -I'd-I'd kill myself. -Nope. 1068 00:40:52,275 --> 00:40:54,277 That's the wrong thing to fucking say right now. 1069 00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:56,454 -Stop them. Stop it. -I can't... 1070 00:40:56,497 --> 00:40:57,411 Wait. 1071 00:40:58,586 --> 00:41:00,588 Hey. It's not Julie. 1072 00:41:00,632 --> 00:41:03,722 -It's not Julie. What? 1073 00:41:03,765 --> 00:41:05,680 Oh, shit. It's Austin's parents. 1074 00:41:05,724 --> 00:41:07,334 -Good for them. They're really... 1075 00:41:07,377 --> 00:41:08,596 really going at it. 1076 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:09,902 I always wanted to do this. 1077 00:41:09,945 --> 00:41:11,512 I've always wanted to watch people have sex. 1078 00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:13,296 Oh, my God, he's yanking her hair. 1079 00:41:13,340 --> 00:41:14,907 Ow. That looks like it hurts. 1080 00:41:14,950 --> 00:41:17,126 Yeah, we shouldn't be looking, man. Come on. 1081 00:41:17,170 --> 00:41:19,346 She runs the risk of, like, dislocating her hip. 1082 00:41:19,389 --> 00:41:21,130 Hey, Mitchell. You're being a fucking perv, dude. 1083 00:41:21,174 --> 00:41:22,741 Don't look. 1084 00:41:28,834 --> 00:41:30,139 What happened? 1085 00:41:30,183 --> 00:41:32,533 We locked eyes, and then he finished. 1086 00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:34,883 It means his load is on your soul for eternity. 1087 00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,885 Holy shit. Oh, shit, he's coming. 1088 00:41:38,104 --> 00:41:39,801 I'll pretend I'm a plant. 1089 00:41:43,588 --> 00:41:44,632 Mitchell? What are you doing? 1090 00:41:44,676 --> 00:41:46,547 -What, Lisa? -Hey, Ron. 1091 00:41:46,591 --> 00:41:48,506 : What are you guys doing out here? 1092 00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:49,637 Hi. 1093 00:41:49,681 --> 00:41:51,987 Hey. -What a nice surprise. 1094 00:41:52,031 --> 00:41:53,336 We thought the kids were here. 1095 00:41:53,380 --> 00:41:54,555 We didn't realize you guys were here, uh... 1096 00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:56,601 Oh, Cath and I were just having 1097 00:41:56,644 --> 00:41:58,428 a little, uh, prom night role play. 1098 00:41:58,472 --> 00:42:00,953 -You know, to keep the sex life alive. -Prom night. 1099 00:42:00,996 --> 00:42:02,128 -That kind of thing. -Where are the kids? 1100 00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:03,390 Um, do you know where the kids are? 1101 00:42:03,433 --> 00:42:06,306 The kids are at Kyler Montero's lake house. 1102 00:42:06,349 --> 00:42:08,482 -How do you know that? -Because Austin told us. 1103 00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:11,920 Yeah. He's texted me like 19 times tonight. 1104 00:42:11,964 --> 00:42:14,575 -Ugh. Oh, my God. -Yeah, we tell each other everything. 1105 00:42:14,619 --> 00:42:16,882 -It's unbelievable. -I mean, he-he knows about prom night. 1106 00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:18,536 Well, you know. -I'm sorry, you... 1107 00:42:18,579 --> 00:42:21,103 you tell your son about your sex games with your wife? 1108 00:42:21,147 --> 00:42:22,975 -Uh-huh. Yeah. -Wow, that's... 1109 00:42:23,018 --> 00:42:24,803 -Can't do that. -Yeah, it's weird. 1110 00:42:24,846 --> 00:42:26,544 -It's so... it's-it's weird. -There's a line. 1111 00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:28,546 -We have a very open family here. -Yes, we do. 1112 00:42:28,589 --> 00:42:30,199 -We don't hide anything. You know what? 1113 00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:31,505 What is Kyler's address? 1114 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,681 I-I... Okay, listen, I-I feel like 1115 00:42:33,725 --> 00:42:36,336 I can't betray Austin's confidence in me, 1116 00:42:36,379 --> 00:42:38,556 and frankly, if Julie wanted to tell you 1117 00:42:38,599 --> 00:42:41,036 where the house was, she would have told you. 1118 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,298 -Uh-uh. -Uh, I got... 1119 00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:43,430 Hold on, hold on. Buh-buh-buh. 1120 00:42:43,473 --> 00:42:44,910 Give us the address, 1121 00:42:44,953 --> 00:42:46,302 or my giant friend's gonna tear 1122 00:42:46,346 --> 00:42:47,695 -your husband's dick off. -Yeah. 1123 00:42:47,739 --> 00:42:49,436 Uh... no, I'm not. 1124 00:42:49,479 --> 00:42:51,090 -No, I'm not. No, no, no. -Excuse me? -What? 1125 00:42:51,133 --> 00:42:53,179 That's... that's good. 1126 00:42:53,222 --> 00:42:55,355 And, uh, sorry to interrupt your evening. 1127 00:42:55,398 --> 00:42:57,923 I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your lovemaking. 1128 00:42:57,966 --> 00:42:58,924 -Ow! Fuck! -Come on. 1129 00:42:58,967 --> 00:43:00,055 -What was that about? -What? 1130 00:43:00,099 --> 00:43:01,666 Hey, man, thank you for killing 1131 00:43:01,709 --> 00:43:03,363 -my daughter's hymen. -I don't think so. 1132 00:43:03,406 --> 00:43:05,452 Kyler Montero's lake house? Marcie did the bathroom. 1133 00:43:05,495 --> 00:43:07,846 She's gonna know the address, so let's just go. 1134 00:43:07,889 --> 00:43:09,717 -All right, dope. -Dope. 1135 00:43:11,414 --> 00:43:13,373 -Ow, my eyes! -Yeah! 1136 00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:15,680 Okay, come on in now. 1137 00:43:15,723 --> 00:43:18,030 It's all fun and games until there's a decapitation. 1138 00:43:18,073 --> 00:43:20,510 I don't need any more dead girls on my conscience. 1139 00:43:20,554 --> 00:43:22,251 I'm sorry, Rudy. 1140 00:43:22,295 --> 00:43:25,167 We just had to check that off the old prom bucket list. 1141 00:43:25,211 --> 00:43:27,213 -Oh, my God, Sam! 1142 00:43:27,256 --> 00:43:29,084 -Come here. Yeah. -Move, Chad! 1143 00:43:29,128 --> 00:43:31,130 -Chad, you want a drink? -No. 1144 00:43:31,173 --> 00:43:32,740 What you got there? 1145 00:43:32,784 --> 00:43:35,003 This is a very, very special 1146 00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:36,831 reduced hash oil of my own invention. 1147 00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:39,181 It has rosemary essence for blood flow, 1148 00:43:39,225 --> 00:43:40,661 a curcumin extract from turmeric 1149 00:43:40,705 --> 00:43:42,228 to reduce inflammation, 1150 00:43:42,271 --> 00:43:44,491 and it gets you super baked. 1151 00:43:44,534 --> 00:43:46,580 All right. 1152 00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:48,234 Let's do it. Do I just... I suck? 1153 00:43:48,277 --> 00:43:49,539 Yeah, you press the button, 1154 00:43:49,583 --> 00:43:50,976 then you take, like, a little puff. 1155 00:43:51,019 --> 00:43:53,239 Or a really, really big one. 1156 00:43:53,282 --> 00:43:55,023 Okay. 1157 00:43:55,067 --> 00:43:57,591 And then you just hold it for, like, a beat. 1158 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,114 You guys know that Tanner Dunn's parents 1159 00:43:59,158 --> 00:44:00,594 rented out a whole floor 1160 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,596 of the Park West Hotel for an after-party? 1161 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,771 -What? 1162 00:44:03,815 --> 00:44:05,817 Um... yeah, he, uh... 1163 00:44:05,860 --> 00:44:08,210 I guess they're super loaded and they're still proud of him 1164 00:44:08,254 --> 00:44:10,386 even though it took him like six years to graduate. 1165 00:44:10,430 --> 00:44:12,737 I remember him. He got to, uh, miss school 1166 00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:14,826 -when his kid was born. -Yeah, yeah, that guy. 1167 00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:16,784 You should definitely let it go now. 1168 00:44:20,179 --> 00:44:21,571 -Holy shit. -Oh, yeah. 1169 00:44:21,615 --> 00:44:23,269 I can run a six-minute mile. 1170 00:44:23,312 --> 00:44:25,663 My lung capacity is legit. 1171 00:44:25,706 --> 00:44:27,665 -No! -One more selfie, and this time, 1172 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,014 let's pose like Kanye. 1173 00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:30,450 -No. Boo! -Yes. 1174 00:44:30,493 --> 00:44:32,452 -You take too many pictures. -Uh... 1175 00:44:32,495 --> 00:44:34,584 They don't look like him. 1176 00:44:34,628 --> 00:44:37,457 Ugh, it's just a bunch of paint samples and swatches. 1177 00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:39,328 : Hunter, quiet. 1178 00:44:39,372 --> 00:44:40,721 Why do I have to be quiet? 1179 00:44:40,765 --> 00:44:42,505 Shit would not fly if Marcie found out. 1180 00:44:42,549 --> 00:44:43,898 Who wears the pants in this house, dawg? 1181 00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:46,031 -I do. -Oh! 1182 00:44:48,947 --> 00:44:50,209 Mmm. 1183 00:44:50,252 --> 00:44:52,124 This is soy creamer? Are you sure? 1184 00:44:52,167 --> 00:44:54,126 It's pretty freaking rich. 1185 00:44:54,169 --> 00:44:56,215 This is so messed up. Who are you to get involved 1186 00:44:56,258 --> 00:44:58,173 in our daughter's sex life? 1187 00:44:58,217 --> 00:45:00,393 -Oh, honey, I was just try... -No, don't "honey" me. 1188 00:45:00,436 --> 00:45:02,961 Did your dad try to stop you when you lost your virginity? 1189 00:45:03,004 --> 00:45:04,223 That's totally different. 1190 00:45:04,266 --> 00:45:05,746 It is not different. It's a double standard. 1191 00:45:05,790 --> 00:45:08,270 Oh, when a guy loses his virginity, it-it's no big deal. 1192 00:45:08,314 --> 00:45:09,881 It's celebrated, but if a girl does, 1193 00:45:09,924 --> 00:45:11,796 it's some sort of big loss of innocence? 1194 00:45:11,839 --> 00:45:13,449 -Yes. But come on, you guys. 1195 00:45:13,493 --> 00:45:14,712 It's the same damn thing. 1196 00:45:14,755 --> 00:45:16,583 Oh, Marcie! 1197 00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:18,541 Stop talking. 1198 00:45:18,585 --> 00:45:21,719 -Just give us the address. -Just give us the address. 1199 00:45:21,762 --> 00:45:24,852 Honestly, Lisa, I can't believe you're on their side. 1200 00:45:24,896 --> 00:45:27,855 Side? This is not some philosophical debate. 1201 00:45:27,899 --> 00:45:29,727 We're trying to stop our daughters 1202 00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:32,730 from some kind of sex pact that they've planned 1203 00:45:32,773 --> 00:45:34,775 and not thought through all the way. 1204 00:45:34,819 --> 00:45:35,994 That is such bullshit. 1205 00:45:36,037 --> 00:45:37,778 How do you expect society to treat women 1206 00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:40,476 as if they're equal when their own parents won't? 1207 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,304 I don't know about that. 1208 00:45:42,348 --> 00:45:44,002 I'll deal with society tomorrow. 1209 00:45:44,045 --> 00:45:45,873 Right now I'm thinking about my daughter. 1210 00:45:45,917 --> 00:45:46,961 Well, that is... that's convenient. 1211 00:45:47,005 --> 00:45:48,223 Yeah. You know what? 1212 00:45:48,267 --> 00:45:49,790 Go ahead and be part of the group 1213 00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:51,226 that perceives women as little 1214 00:45:51,270 --> 00:45:53,576 damsels in distress that need saving. 1215 00:45:53,620 --> 00:45:55,491 Who cares about us not getting paid as much 1216 00:45:55,535 --> 00:45:57,711 or not having control of our own bodies? 1217 00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:59,278 Can you please not talk to me 1218 00:45:59,321 --> 00:46:01,367 like I'm someone who bombs abortion clinics? 1219 00:46:01,410 --> 00:46:02,368 I think we're a little off topic. 1220 00:46:02,411 --> 00:46:03,586 Just-- we need the address. 1221 00:46:03,630 --> 00:46:05,893 I just can't believe that you think Julie 1222 00:46:05,937 --> 00:46:07,895 shouldn't be free to explore her sexuality 1223 00:46:07,939 --> 00:46:09,897 in the same way that boys are. 1224 00:46:09,941 --> 00:46:13,292 Girls and boys are very different. 1225 00:46:13,335 --> 00:46:15,816 Guys will take whatever's in front of them. 1226 00:46:15,860 --> 00:46:18,123 We have these feelings, and then... 1227 00:46:18,166 --> 00:46:21,561 your parents won't let you see the man. 1228 00:46:21,604 --> 00:46:24,694 And then he just writes a lot of letters, 1229 00:46:24,738 --> 00:46:26,131 but you don't get them 1230 00:46:26,174 --> 00:46:28,176 because your mom doesn't give them to you, 1231 00:46:28,220 --> 00:46:30,700 and then it starts raining really hard 1232 00:46:30,744 --> 00:46:32,877 'cause he built a house for you, 1233 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:37,142 and... and then it's... 1234 00:46:37,185 --> 00:46:39,405 -Mitchell, did you get the address? -Yep. 1235 00:46:39,448 --> 00:46:41,015 -What? -I'm really sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. 1236 00:46:41,059 --> 00:46:42,625 -I'm just really stressed out. -It was so good to see you. 1237 00:46:42,669 --> 00:46:44,366 Was that The Notebook? 1238 00:46:44,410 --> 00:46:47,152 Fucking fuck off, Hunter. Goddamn it! Mitchell! 1239 00:46:47,195 --> 00:46:48,588 I love you. I'm doing this for our daughter. 1240 00:46:48,631 --> 00:46:50,068 -I'll be home late. -Fucking shit! 1241 00:46:50,111 --> 00:46:52,853 ♪ See, I'm gonna get it 'cause I play the game... ♪ 1242 00:46:52,897 --> 00:46:54,463 To the loss of our innocence. 1243 00:46:59,555 --> 00:47:01,166 -Oh! 1244 00:47:01,209 --> 00:47:02,428 -Come on. -Ooh! 1245 00:47:02,471 --> 00:47:03,821 You guys. 1246 00:47:03,864 --> 00:47:05,170 This is the best night. 1247 00:47:05,213 --> 00:47:08,347 I am so drunk, super high, 1248 00:47:08,390 --> 00:47:10,653 and Connor has a little something-something 1249 00:47:10,697 --> 00:47:13,308 that I feel I need to go check out. 1250 00:47:13,352 --> 00:47:15,789 All right. It's fuck o'clock. 1251 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:17,530 No way. You, too? Yep. 1252 00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:21,534 -These are macarons. -Ooh. 1253 00:47:21,577 --> 00:47:23,492 With a very special concoction of mine 1254 00:47:23,536 --> 00:47:25,364 that I call Wavy Davy. 1255 00:47:25,407 --> 00:47:28,019 So it's DMT that I get from the Dark Web. 1256 00:47:28,062 --> 00:47:29,977 Uh, and then there's a little tiny bit of Xanax 1257 00:47:30,021 --> 00:47:31,979 to just kind of take the edge off, you know. 1258 00:47:32,023 --> 00:47:32,980 It's pretty tight. 1259 00:47:33,024 --> 00:47:34,764 Mm, sounds pretty tight. 1260 00:47:34,808 --> 00:47:36,897 And then I bake it into a white chocolate macaron, 1261 00:47:36,941 --> 00:47:38,420 and it has, like, a raspberry filling 1262 00:47:38,464 --> 00:47:39,769 that's both, uh, light and fluffy 1263 00:47:39,813 --> 00:47:42,033 but also very flavorful and satisfying. 1264 00:47:42,076 --> 00:47:43,773 Are you ready? 1265 00:47:43,817 --> 00:47:46,341 -Uh, yeah. Yeah. -Yeah, let's do it. 1266 00:47:46,385 --> 00:47:47,516 Okay. 1267 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:48,953 -Mmm. -Let's go. 1268 00:47:50,258 --> 00:47:51,477 Hmm. 1269 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,783 -It's yum. 1270 00:47:53,827 --> 00:47:55,133 Hmm. 1271 00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:01,226 Okay, so what do we do? We just walk in and-and flick 1272 00:48:01,269 --> 00:48:02,923 -the lights on and off until the kids come? -Shh. 1273 00:48:02,967 --> 00:48:04,620 Just act cool and young, and maybe we'll just slip in. 1274 00:48:04,664 --> 00:48:06,622 Mitchell, untuck your shirt. 1275 00:48:06,666 --> 00:48:08,189 No, it's not that kind of shirt. 1276 00:48:08,233 --> 00:48:09,495 -It looks stupid untucked. -Untuck your shirt. 1277 00:48:09,538 --> 00:48:10,757 You look like a youth minister. 1278 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:12,193 Untuck your fucking shirt, man. 1279 00:48:12,237 --> 00:48:13,455 -We're trying to look cool. All right. 1280 00:48:13,499 --> 00:48:14,848 Whoa, whoa. 1281 00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:16,284 Sorry, bro. Sorry, guys. 1282 00:48:16,328 --> 00:48:18,069 Sorry. My friend's wasted. 1283 00:48:18,112 --> 00:48:19,984 -Don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1284 00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:22,334 Hey, hey. No... no adults are getting into my house. 1285 00:48:22,377 --> 00:48:24,553 Not on prom night. Okay, not on prom. 1286 00:48:24,597 --> 00:48:25,990 We were just down the street 1287 00:48:26,033 --> 00:48:28,209 at, um, another party, and then we just decided 1288 00:48:28,253 --> 00:48:30,255 to come up here and hang with you guys. 1289 00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:32,257 Um, no parents here, right? 1290 00:48:32,300 --> 00:48:33,519 Oh, thank God. 1291 00:48:33,562 --> 00:48:34,607 No, not except for you guys. No. 1292 00:48:34,650 --> 00:48:35,956 We're not... 1293 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,958 - Yeah, no. -We don't... 1294 00:48:38,002 --> 00:48:38,959 Okay, so you're cops. 1295 00:48:41,396 --> 00:48:44,486 I got two DUIs last year. How could I be a cop? 1296 00:48:44,530 --> 00:48:45,792 The police? 1297 00:48:45,835 --> 00:48:47,446 Look at my untucked shirt. 1298 00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:49,274 You're literally the cop-iest motherfucker I've ever seen. 1299 00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:52,407 You look like you got your hair cut in the back of a squad car. 1300 00:48:53,843 --> 00:48:55,976 This is a regular men's haircut. 1301 00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:57,586 Okay, this is ridiculous. 1302 00:48:57,630 --> 00:48:59,066 All right, you're minors, we're minors. 1303 00:48:59,110 --> 00:49:01,025 You're like 45 years old. 1304 00:49:01,068 --> 00:49:02,896 Fuck you. I was born in '77. 1305 00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,680 '87. '94. 1306 00:49:04,724 --> 00:49:06,987 We're gonna drink with you guys. 1307 00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:08,684 Would cops drink with underage kids? 1308 00:49:08,728 --> 00:49:10,164 No. -No. 1309 00:49:10,208 --> 00:49:12,123 Okay. What about a little chugging contest? 1310 00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:13,602 Um... 1311 00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:15,126 Yeah. 1312 00:49:15,169 --> 00:49:16,170 Bring it. 1313 00:49:17,345 --> 00:49:18,520 Okay, wait. 1314 00:49:18,564 --> 00:49:19,869 I got to get the room ready. 1315 00:49:23,917 --> 00:49:26,876 Oh, wow. 1316 00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,182 You're really going for it, aren't you? 1317 00:49:28,226 --> 00:49:29,836 I saw this in the romantic comedy, 1318 00:49:29,879 --> 00:49:31,707 American Beauty. So good. 1319 00:49:31,751 --> 00:49:34,406 You watch the whole thing? 1320 00:49:38,714 --> 00:49:40,716 You know what this candle does to me. 1321 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,022 Is that the one that gives you hives? 1322 00:49:42,066 --> 00:49:43,719 -No, it's the good one. -Oh, nice. 1323 00:49:47,158 --> 00:49:49,203 You look so hot right now. 1324 00:49:59,257 --> 00:50:01,520 -Where are my chuggers at? You ready? -Yeah! 1325 00:50:01,563 --> 00:50:03,304 -Oh, right here. Let's go. -Whoot, whoot! 1326 00:50:03,348 --> 00:50:04,958 -All right. 1327 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,047 -Cool. -Drop 'em. 1328 00:50:07,091 --> 00:50:08,005 Let's do it. 1329 00:50:10,181 --> 00:50:11,182 Wait, what? 1330 00:50:11,225 --> 00:50:12,357 : Guys? 1331 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:13,619 We're just chugging, right? 1332 00:50:13,662 --> 00:50:14,750 We're butt-chugging. 1333 00:50:14,794 --> 00:50:16,056 Yeah, you put the tube up your butt, 1334 00:50:16,100 --> 00:50:17,449 and you funnel the beer in. 1335 00:50:17,492 --> 00:50:19,320 Fucks you up way more, man. Trust me. 1336 00:50:19,364 --> 00:50:21,279 -Guys, butt-chugging? -You got this. You got it. 1337 00:50:21,322 --> 00:50:22,715 No, I'm tagging out. You're in. 1338 00:50:22,758 --> 00:50:24,151 -What? Why me? -You've had a baby. 1339 00:50:24,195 --> 00:50:25,413 Everything's looser down there. 1340 00:50:25,457 --> 00:50:27,720 I didn't have a baby out of my butt. 1341 00:50:27,763 --> 00:50:29,678 -Even I know that. -Mitchell. 1342 00:50:29,722 --> 00:50:32,681 Okay, this isn't a common occurrence with me, 1343 00:50:32,725 --> 00:50:35,641 but I have had things up there before. 1344 00:50:35,684 --> 00:50:37,817 -Hmm? -It's just all about breathing. 1345 00:50:37,860 --> 00:50:40,515 So just breathe through it and accept it in. 1346 00:50:40,559 --> 00:50:42,691 I can't do it. I can't do it. 1347 00:50:42,735 --> 00:50:45,042 Hey! She's up there right now with that dick-bag Connor 1348 00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:46,565 with his man bun and that stupid smirk. 1349 00:50:46,608 --> 00:50:47,914 Think about this. 1350 00:50:49,568 --> 00:50:51,091 W-Wait. Connor? 1351 00:50:51,135 --> 00:50:53,485 You know... you know Connor Aldrich, "The Chef"? 1352 00:50:53,528 --> 00:50:55,574 Why do they call him "The Chef"? 1353 00:50:55,617 --> 00:50:57,837 Uh, maybe a big fan of South Park? 1354 00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,186 "Hello, children." 1355 00:50:59,230 --> 00:51:01,362 No, no. He cooks drugs into everything. 1356 00:51:01,406 --> 00:51:03,190 Everything. Uh, one time he made me 1357 00:51:03,234 --> 00:51:05,627 this, like, acid financier cake. Oh! 1358 00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:08,108 That shit was to die for, man. 1359 00:51:08,152 --> 00:51:10,110 : Like, literally, I almost fucking died. 1360 00:51:10,154 --> 00:51:12,112 Yeah, dude, if your daughter had anything like that cake, 1361 00:51:12,156 --> 00:51:13,635 she might not remember who you are tomorrow. 1362 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:17,204 Give me the fucking tube. 1363 00:51:17,248 --> 00:51:19,119 ♪ Whoa, whoa, honey, now... 1364 00:51:19,163 --> 00:51:20,512 Let's bone. 1365 00:51:20,555 --> 00:51:21,904 Wait, what? Oh. 1366 00:51:21,948 --> 00:51:24,472 Are you sure that this is how you want to do it? 1367 00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,649 Yes, Chad. 1368 00:51:27,693 --> 00:51:29,782 This is always how I've imagined it. 1369 00:51:29,825 --> 00:51:32,219 Oh, you know, I'd rather leave my shirt on, if that's sexier. 1370 00:51:32,263 --> 00:51:35,135 I need another drink. 1371 00:51:35,179 --> 00:51:36,223 Wait, wait, uh... 1372 00:51:38,443 --> 00:51:40,749 Can you lube it up with something first? 1373 00:51:40,793 --> 00:51:42,186 -Yeah, I'll just spit on it. -No! 1374 00:51:42,229 --> 00:51:44,449 Why? Because I'm a man? Get over yourself. 1375 00:51:44,492 --> 00:51:46,233 No, 'cause you're fucking gross, 1376 00:51:46,277 --> 00:51:47,843 and your fucking saliva's gross. 1377 00:51:47,887 --> 00:51:49,410 I have... I have lip gloss. I have lip gloss. 1378 00:51:49,454 --> 00:51:51,238 -Got a lip gloss. We got a lip gloss. -Okay, fine. Shit. 1379 00:51:51,282 --> 00:51:52,674 : I don't have lip gloss. 1380 00:51:52,718 --> 00:51:54,154 -All right, guys, let's get those tubes in. - 1381 00:51:54,198 --> 00:51:55,547 All right, I got the lip gloss on there. 1382 00:51:55,590 --> 00:51:56,678 -Okay. -Okay, okay. 1383 00:51:56,722 --> 00:51:58,289 -All right. -Okay, ready? 1384 00:51:58,332 --> 00:52:00,117 Ow, ow, ow, ow! 1385 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,683 -It's not in yet. Chill. 1386 00:52:01,727 --> 00:52:03,294 So it's just gonna be on the count of three. 1387 00:52:03,337 --> 00:52:05,470 You got this, dawg. This is for your kid. 1388 00:52:05,513 --> 00:52:07,167 -On three. Okay. All right. Yeah. -On three. 1389 00:52:07,211 --> 00:52:08,473 -Okay, one... -One... 1390 00:52:08,516 --> 00:52:11,650 -Oh! Are you okay? 1391 00:52:11,693 --> 00:52:13,521 -Okay, get your 40s. -They got a lager and an IPA. 1392 00:52:13,565 --> 00:52:14,914 -Does it... Doesn't-doesn't... 1393 00:52:14,957 --> 00:52:16,307 -It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. -LISA: Okay. 1394 00:52:16,350 --> 00:52:17,699 -I don't know about this. -No, no, no, no. 1395 00:52:17,743 --> 00:52:19,092 -It's too late. It's already in. -Here you go. 1396 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,267 It's in you. It's part of you now. 1397 00:52:20,311 --> 00:52:21,964 -Ready? Set... -Yeah. 1398 00:52:22,008 --> 00:52:24,793 Chug...! 1399 00:52:24,837 --> 00:52:27,274 Butt chug! Butt chug! Butt chug! 1400 00:52:27,318 --> 00:52:28,754 -Oh, wait. 1401 00:52:28,797 --> 00:52:30,190 -Hey, hey. Loosen up. 1402 00:52:30,234 --> 00:52:32,366 -It's not working, dude. -I can't. 1403 00:52:32,410 --> 00:52:33,715 -You can hold my hand. -Okay. 1404 00:52:33,759 --> 00:52:34,977 Butt chug! Butt chug! 1405 00:52:35,021 --> 00:52:36,631 -Ow! -You're hurting her. 1406 00:52:36,675 --> 00:52:37,980 That really hurt! -I'm sorry! 1407 00:52:38,024 --> 00:52:39,417 Hey, man, listen. 1408 00:52:39,460 --> 00:52:41,767 Channel that energy into your butthole. 1409 00:52:41,810 --> 00:52:43,160 -Breathe. -This changes everything I know. 1410 00:52:43,203 --> 00:52:44,987 Dude, if your daughter could see you now, 1411 00:52:45,031 --> 00:52:46,206 she'd be so proud of you. 1412 00:52:47,686 --> 00:52:49,949 Whoa. 1413 00:52:49,992 --> 00:52:53,648 I am... I am tripping so hard. 1414 00:52:53,692 --> 00:52:55,346 It's not working. It's not working, dude. 1415 00:52:55,389 --> 00:52:57,435 -Oh, it's terrible. Oh. It is. 1416 00:52:57,478 --> 00:52:58,697 Butt chug! Butt chug! 1417 00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:00,612 -Open up. -No, I'm sorry. 1418 00:53:00,655 --> 00:53:03,049 -I-I can't do it, man. -Focus! For your daughter. 1419 00:53:03,092 --> 00:53:04,572 Fuck, Mitch. Focus. 1420 00:53:04,616 --> 00:53:06,008 -You gotta breathe. -You gotta open up, dude. 1421 00:53:06,052 --> 00:53:08,315 -Relax. -I'm relaxed. I'm dilated. 1422 00:53:08,359 --> 00:53:10,926 I'm staring at your asshole. You're not dilated. 1423 00:53:10,970 --> 00:53:14,365 Mitchell, you're gonna lose to this punk bitch? 1424 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,541 Breathe. Take it in. 1425 00:53:16,584 --> 00:53:17,890 Butt chug! 1426 00:53:19,544 --> 00:53:20,936 There we go. 1427 00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:22,721 -Okay, good. -Oh! Oh, it's working! 1428 00:53:22,764 --> 00:53:25,985 -It's working! It's working! -Holy shit! Holy shit! 1429 00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:27,595 We're almost halfway done. 1430 00:53:27,639 --> 00:53:29,989 -Po's! Fucking run! 1431 00:53:30,032 --> 00:53:31,338 -Cops? 1432 00:53:31,382 --> 00:53:33,471 -Oh, no! 1433 00:53:35,429 --> 00:53:37,953 Ass beer! Oh, oh! 1434 00:53:37,997 --> 00:53:39,433 Lisa, the beer went into my mouth! 1435 00:53:39,477 --> 00:53:41,218 I have to go to the hospital! 1436 00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:43,698 -Hurry up! Get out of here! 1437 00:53:43,742 --> 00:53:45,047 Shit. 1438 00:53:45,091 --> 00:53:46,919 We got to go. 1439 00:53:46,962 --> 00:53:49,182 I got ass beer in my mouth. I should go to the hospital. 1440 00:53:49,226 --> 00:53:51,140 -Oh, shit. The fucking cops? 1441 00:53:51,184 --> 00:53:52,794 -Fuck. -The fucking cops are here? 1442 00:53:52,838 --> 00:53:54,666 -Wait. Wait, wait, wait. -I can't get the tube out. 1443 00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:56,102 -Pull the tube out. -Lis, pull it out. 1444 00:53:56,145 --> 00:53:58,017 -No. I put it in. -I had to spit on it! 1445 00:53:58,060 --> 00:53:59,975 -What? You spit on it? -No, it was my lip gloss. 1446 00:54:00,019 --> 00:54:01,586 -It was lip gloss. -Pull it out! 1447 00:54:01,629 --> 00:54:03,283 Hey, man, be gentle. Be fucking gentle, all right? 1448 00:54:03,327 --> 00:54:04,806 I'm gonna be gentle, all right? Ready? 1449 00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:06,068 -All right, on three. -On three. 1450 00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:07,374 -One. -Ow! 1451 00:54:10,812 --> 00:54:12,292 -Come on. -Whoo! 1452 00:54:12,336 --> 00:54:14,990 Hey, guys. Guys. 1453 00:54:15,034 --> 00:54:16,253 Wait, wait. 1454 00:54:16,296 --> 00:54:17,645 Sam? 1455 00:54:17,689 --> 00:54:19,473 Sam, Sam! We're over here. 1456 00:54:19,517 --> 00:54:21,736 -No! No, I... No. -She's... 1457 00:54:21,780 --> 00:54:23,390 -The night is over. -No. 1458 00:54:23,434 --> 00:54:25,740 It's over. It's done. 1459 00:54:25,784 --> 00:54:27,699 The night is not over. 1460 00:54:27,742 --> 00:54:29,701 The night has just begun. 1461 00:54:29,744 --> 00:54:31,659 ♪ 1462 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,837 Jesus, Chad, use your legs. 1463 00:54:35,881 --> 00:54:37,404 I mean, I pretty much carried her, 1464 00:54:37,448 --> 00:54:38,666 like, the whole way there. 1465 00:54:46,718 --> 00:54:49,547 Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle! 1466 00:54:50,678 --> 00:54:51,853 Come on, Sam. 1467 00:54:51,897 --> 00:54:53,333 -Come with us. -I can't. 1468 00:54:53,377 --> 00:54:55,030 My car is here. But all my friends 1469 00:54:55,074 --> 00:54:57,076 are going to the hotel party. 1470 00:54:57,119 --> 00:54:58,382 Maybe I'll see you later. 1471 00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:05,084 Get in the car! Go, go, go, girl! 1472 00:55:06,694 --> 00:55:08,217 -You'll see her later. -What are you doing? 1473 00:55:08,261 --> 00:55:10,568 Ooh, this night is not over, I swear to Christ! 1474 00:55:10,611 --> 00:55:12,265 Dukes of Hazzard! 1475 00:55:13,832 --> 00:55:15,790 Racist-ass show anyway. 1476 00:55:15,834 --> 00:55:18,097 -I got the spins, man. -We got to find our daughter, dawg. 1477 00:55:18,140 --> 00:55:19,751 -I'm gonna sit down for a second. -Rudy! 1478 00:55:19,794 --> 00:55:22,406 -It's Rudy. Rudy. -Rudy, Rudy, wait, wait! 1479 00:55:22,449 --> 00:55:23,929 There he goes, there he goes! Hit the clicker! 1480 00:55:23,972 --> 00:55:25,626 -Open the doors! -Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 1481 00:55:25,670 --> 00:55:27,541 -Okay, sit. -I got mine. 1482 00:55:27,585 --> 00:55:29,587 Seat belts! You'll get a big ticket. 1483 00:55:32,807 --> 00:55:34,766 -That's them right there. -They're getting away. 1484 00:55:34,809 --> 00:55:36,115 -You gotta go faster. Hey. -Okay. 1485 00:55:36,158 --> 00:55:37,899 : Hey, you gotta be at 110%. 1486 00:55:37,943 --> 00:55:39,553 -Okay. -You got to be in it to win it! 1487 00:55:39,597 --> 00:55:41,512 How do you get more competitive when you're drunk? 1488 00:55:41,555 --> 00:55:43,731 Hey, man. I'm more of a winner when I'm drunk, all right? 1489 00:55:43,775 --> 00:55:46,168 -Okay, okay. -And the question I have 1490 00:55:46,212 --> 00:55:47,996 for you, Lis: Are you a winner? 1491 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:49,824 Are you in it to win it? 1492 00:55:49,868 --> 00:55:51,913 -Winning is my bitch! -All right. 1493 00:55:51,957 --> 00:55:53,262 -Strong. -Knock, knock! 1494 00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:55,134 -Who's there? -Me winning. 1495 00:55:58,355 --> 00:55:59,791 It's not... 1496 00:55:59,834 --> 00:56:01,532 It's not that good. 1497 00:56:03,098 --> 00:56:05,057 I don't... Ow, ow! 1498 00:56:05,100 --> 00:56:06,624 -: Lisa winning! -It's not that good. 1499 00:56:06,667 --> 00:56:08,582 Ow! Fuck! All right, it's good. 1500 00:56:08,626 --> 00:56:10,279 It's fine. I like it. 1501 00:56:10,323 --> 00:56:11,759 Hey, you're losing him. Let's go. 1502 00:56:14,109 --> 00:56:16,416 Not on my watch. 1503 00:56:18,723 --> 00:56:21,029 -Oh, hey! -Whoa! -Ow! 1504 00:56:21,073 --> 00:56:22,422 Y'all think you gonna outrun 1505 00:56:22,466 --> 00:56:23,858 Rudy "The Main Motherfucking Man" Glover? 1506 00:56:23,902 --> 00:56:25,033 Hell no. 1507 00:56:25,077 --> 00:56:26,818 -Are you all right? -No! 1508 00:56:26,861 --> 00:56:28,036 -Come on. 1509 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:29,777 You okay? 1510 00:56:29,821 --> 00:56:31,953 Hey, guys. 1511 00:56:31,997 --> 00:56:33,781 Hey, I don't... 1512 00:56:33,825 --> 00:56:35,261 I don't feel so... 1513 00:56:36,697 --> 00:56:39,047 -Oh, my God! 1514 00:56:39,091 --> 00:56:40,092 Oh, my God! 1515 00:56:45,358 --> 00:56:47,447 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 1516 00:56:47,491 --> 00:56:48,970 Lisa, I have seen every single 1517 00:56:49,014 --> 00:56:50,624 -Fast and the Furious movie, okay? -Mm-hmm. 1518 00:56:50,668 --> 00:56:52,496 All of them, dozens of times. Have you seen any of them? 1519 00:56:52,539 --> 00:56:54,628 I saw the Tokyo one, and I saw the one 1520 00:56:54,672 --> 00:56:55,977 where The Rock punches the torpedo. 1521 00:56:56,021 --> 00:56:57,718 Those are the best two to see. 1522 00:56:57,762 --> 00:57:01,026 Okay, in times like this, I ask myself one question: 1523 00:57:01,069 --> 00:57:03,463 "WWVDD?" You know what that means? 1524 00:57:03,507 --> 00:57:04,769 "What would Vin Diesel do?" 1525 00:57:04,812 --> 00:57:06,466 Holy shit! 1526 00:57:06,510 --> 00:57:07,902 No one's ever fucking gotten that before. Okay. 1527 00:57:13,430 --> 00:57:14,909 Oh, man, it smells like... 1528 00:57:16,215 --> 00:57:17,346 What we're gonna do-- 1529 00:57:17,390 --> 00:57:18,435 we're gonna kiss the bumper. 1530 00:57:18,478 --> 00:57:19,566 -You give it a little tap. -Okay. 1531 00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:20,785 And then they're gonna spin and stop, 1532 00:57:20,828 --> 00:57:22,482 and we're gonna spin and stop the other way. 1533 00:57:22,526 --> 00:57:24,266 -Okay. -And we're gonna look at each other, 1534 00:57:24,310 --> 00:57:26,181 and we're gonna go, "It's all about the family." 1535 00:57:26,225 --> 00:57:28,488 Wait, I don't feel comfortable running the kids off the road. 1536 00:57:28,532 --> 00:57:30,969 This slow and un-furious attitude is not helping us. 1537 00:57:31,012 --> 00:57:32,361 You have to believe! 1538 00:57:32,405 --> 00:57:33,711 Okay, I'm gonna kiss it. 1539 00:57:33,754 --> 00:57:35,234 Here we go! 1540 00:57:36,714 --> 00:57:38,280 What's that? 1541 00:57:38,324 --> 00:57:40,195 -Did I do it? -No, you didn't even kiss it. 1542 00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:41,675 -You gotta kiss it. -Shit. Okay. 1543 00:57:41,719 --> 00:57:43,590 Kiss it for the family. 1544 00:57:43,634 --> 00:57:45,636 -Is that Sam? -Is that Sam? 1545 00:57:47,594 --> 00:57:49,640 Oh! Oh, God! She barfed on us! 1546 00:57:49,683 --> 00:57:51,380 Oh, my God! 1547 00:58:02,391 --> 00:58:04,306 Fuck. 1548 00:58:07,179 --> 00:58:08,746 Okay. 1549 00:58:08,789 --> 00:58:10,617 Are we in Heaven? 1550 00:58:10,661 --> 00:58:12,750 Okay. Listen, I know how to do this. 1551 00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:15,056 Everyone lean backwards. 1552 00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:17,058 If we all lean backwards on three, 1553 00:58:17,102 --> 00:58:18,538 the car will roll back. 1554 00:58:18,582 --> 00:58:19,626 -Ready? -Okay. 1555 00:58:19,670 --> 00:58:21,106 One... 1556 00:58:21,149 --> 00:58:22,890 two... three. 1557 00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:27,112 -Oh, fuck...! -No! 1558 00:58:27,155 --> 00:58:28,461 -Oh! -Oh, no! 1559 00:58:33,597 --> 00:58:36,991 Well, that's the last of the ass beer. 1560 00:58:37,035 --> 00:58:38,993 -Jesus! That's it. Are you okay? - 1561 00:58:39,037 --> 00:58:42,214 Are you bleeding? You might have internal blood injuries. 1562 00:58:42,257 --> 00:58:44,477 -I'm all right, I'm all right. -Here's the problem. 1563 00:58:44,521 --> 00:58:46,827 The Fast and the Furious movies are not realistic. 1564 00:58:46,871 --> 00:58:48,089 Where are we? 1565 00:58:48,133 --> 00:58:49,482 Shit! 1566 00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:50,657 Fuck. 1567 00:58:52,964 --> 00:58:54,443 What are you doing? 1568 00:58:54,487 --> 00:58:56,184 I heard that in times of crisis, parents have 1569 00:58:56,228 --> 00:58:57,621 -superhuman strength. No offense-- there's 1570 00:58:57,664 --> 00:58:59,536 no scientific way you're gonna flip that car over. 1571 00:58:59,579 --> 00:59:01,538 -I couldn't even do that. -I couldn't do it, either. 1572 00:59:01,581 --> 00:59:04,584 Do not tell me what I can and can't do. 1573 00:59:08,022 --> 00:59:09,807 Kayla's not answering again. 1574 00:59:09,850 --> 00:59:11,330 -Goddamn it. -We lost 'em, guys. 1575 00:59:11,373 --> 00:59:12,636 We are fucked! 1576 00:59:12,679 --> 00:59:14,333 Or maybe not. 1577 00:59:16,814 --> 00:59:18,990 What are you doing? 1578 00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:20,992 Trying to telepathically communicate with Kayla. 1579 00:59:21,035 --> 00:59:22,515 I'm with the X-Men of parents. 1580 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:23,908 You know what my secret power is? 1581 00:59:23,951 --> 00:59:25,605 I'm super fucking annoyed right now, 1582 00:59:25,649 --> 00:59:27,433 and I hurt my love handle. 1583 00:59:31,698 --> 00:59:32,873 No, no. 1584 00:59:32,917 --> 00:59:34,483 Hey. 1585 00:59:34,527 --> 00:59:36,747 You guys think my new clothes go with my fedora? 1586 00:59:36,790 --> 00:59:38,444 I'm just kidding. I know they do. 1587 00:59:44,145 --> 00:59:45,582 Hey. 1588 00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:50,108 -Have you talked to your mom? -No. 1589 00:59:50,151 --> 00:59:51,631 So, my parents were just texting me, 1590 00:59:51,675 --> 00:59:53,024 and they were having sex, 1591 00:59:53,067 --> 00:59:55,156 and your mom showed up looking for you. 1592 00:59:56,331 --> 00:59:58,072 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. 1593 00:59:58,116 --> 00:59:59,421 It's... it's okay. 1594 00:59:59,465 --> 01:00:01,075 They have sex all the time. 1595 01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:02,642 -Oh, my God. 1596 01:00:02,686 --> 01:00:04,470 -She... The texts. 1597 01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:06,167 So many texts. 1598 01:00:06,211 --> 01:00:07,691 She's mad. 1599 01:00:07,734 --> 01:00:10,084 I need to handle this. 1600 01:00:10,128 --> 01:00:11,738 Good news. A Lyft is on its way. 1601 01:00:11,782 --> 01:00:13,784 Oh, wait, no, I know this guy. He sucks. 1602 01:00:13,827 --> 01:00:15,350 -Oh, shit. It's Julie. 1603 01:00:15,394 --> 01:00:17,178 -Be-be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool. -Okay, be quiet. 1604 01:00:17,222 --> 01:00:19,616 -Okay. Hey, Mom. 1605 01:00:19,659 --> 01:00:21,269 I just got all your texts, and I just want 1606 01:00:21,313 --> 01:00:22,619 to let you know that we're all good. 1607 01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:23,750 Cool, cool. Okay. 1608 01:00:23,794 --> 01:00:26,971 Um, are you at the prom? 1609 01:00:27,014 --> 01:00:28,189 Yeah. 1610 01:00:28,233 --> 01:00:30,670 Yeah, just nonstop magical moments. 1611 01:00:30,714 --> 01:00:32,193 Ha! You are lying to me. 1612 01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:33,804 Where are you right now? Where are you? 1613 01:00:33,847 --> 01:00:35,022 Why are you freaking out? 1614 01:00:35,066 --> 01:00:36,415 I'm freaking out 1615 01:00:36,458 --> 01:00:38,460 because I know what you're up to. 1616 01:00:38,504 --> 01:00:40,071 And I know that you and your friends 1617 01:00:40,114 --> 01:00:43,683 are planning some kind of little sex pact or whatever. 1618 01:00:43,727 --> 01:00:46,033 -What did you say? -You heard me. 1619 01:00:46,077 --> 01:00:47,948 How could you possibly know? 1620 01:00:47,992 --> 01:00:51,691 Because I am your mother and I know you. 1621 01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:54,563 -And I know you better than you know yourself. -Yes. 1622 01:00:54,607 --> 01:00:59,003 And I also know that you're planning on going to UCLA 1623 01:00:59,046 --> 01:01:01,222 and that you're following Austin. 1624 01:01:01,266 --> 01:01:03,137 Yeah. 1625 01:01:03,181 --> 01:01:07,315 I... know... everything. 1626 01:01:08,621 --> 01:01:11,885 Oh, my God, you know nothing. 1627 01:01:11,929 --> 01:01:14,714 Why do you even assume that it's me following Austin? 1628 01:01:14,758 --> 01:01:18,196 Huh? You're not worried about me, Mom. 1629 01:01:18,239 --> 01:01:19,545 You're worried about you. 1630 01:01:19,588 --> 01:01:20,894 You're afraid of losing me. 1631 01:01:20,938 --> 01:01:22,417 You're afraid of being alone. 1632 01:01:22,461 --> 01:01:24,724 I am not scared of being alone. 1633 01:01:26,247 --> 01:01:28,162 This is not about me. 1634 01:01:28,206 --> 01:01:32,253 I have not thought about myself for the last 18 years. 1635 01:01:32,297 --> 01:01:34,255 This is about you. 1636 01:01:34,299 --> 01:01:37,911 And as a single mother, I am trying to stop you 1637 01:01:37,955 --> 01:01:40,044 from making a life-ruining decision. 1638 01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:44,048 So I was a... a life-ruining decision? 1639 01:01:44,091 --> 01:01:46,790 No. No, of cour... No, that is not what I meant. 1640 01:01:46,833 --> 01:01:49,096 -No, that is not what I meant. -You know what, Mom? 1641 01:01:49,140 --> 01:01:52,143 I'm not going to UCLA because of some boy, okay? 1642 01:01:52,186 --> 01:01:54,623 I'm going to UCLA because it's the furthest 1643 01:01:54,667 --> 01:01:56,364 I can get from you. 1644 01:01:57,931 --> 01:01:59,890 W-Well... 1645 01:01:59,933 --> 01:02:02,501 Hello? 1646 01:02:02,544 --> 01:02:05,460 Nanaru is on his way. 1647 01:02:05,504 --> 01:02:07,027 46 minutes. 1648 01:02:08,812 --> 01:02:11,771 Well, so she hates me. 1649 01:02:14,469 --> 01:02:16,384 She doesn't hate you. 1650 01:02:16,428 --> 01:02:18,038 Kayla's ignoring me. 1651 01:02:18,082 --> 01:02:20,388 She's bringing it to a whole new level of spite. 1652 01:02:20,432 --> 01:02:21,912 Yeah. 1653 01:02:21,955 --> 01:02:23,870 It's a... that's a new level of pain. 1654 01:02:23,914 --> 01:02:25,829 Yeah. I know, I know. 1655 01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:29,006 It's just different for me, because I gave birth to her, 1656 01:02:29,049 --> 01:02:31,095 and I just feel very connected. 1657 01:02:31,138 --> 01:02:33,053 She was living in my body. 1658 01:02:33,097 --> 01:02:34,533 -Kayla grew in me. -Yeah. 1659 01:02:34,576 --> 01:02:35,969 She grew in me. She-she did. 1660 01:02:36,013 --> 01:02:38,798 She grew from my balls, and I shot her into Marcie. 1661 01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:41,061 This is the same for you and me. 1662 01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:43,629 Not exactly. 1663 01:02:43,672 --> 01:02:46,893 I mean, you have daily love in your life, 1664 01:02:46,937 --> 01:02:49,809 and I'm probably gonna die alone 1665 01:02:49,853 --> 01:02:52,333 and won't be found for a really long time. 1666 01:02:52,377 --> 01:02:55,249 Until one day, someone will be walking by 1667 01:02:55,293 --> 01:02:56,685 with their golden retriever, 1668 01:02:56,729 --> 01:02:58,557 and the dog is just gonna lose its shit, 1669 01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:00,428 and then they're gonna call the police, 1670 01:03:00,472 --> 01:03:04,432 and then they're gonna come in and find me draped over the tub 1671 01:03:04,476 --> 01:03:08,001 with my feral cats eating away at my hair. 1672 01:03:08,045 --> 01:03:09,655 'Cause cats do that. 1673 01:03:09,698 --> 01:03:11,222 The fuck is wrong with you? 1674 01:03:11,265 --> 01:03:13,267 That is some dark shit. 1675 01:03:13,311 --> 01:03:15,008 -You're gonna die alone? -Oh, oh, oh, oh! My man! 1676 01:03:15,052 --> 01:03:16,749 -My man! -Where the hell did you get that idea? 1677 01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:17,750 -You know what? -Come on! 1678 01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,143 I call you all the time. 1679 01:03:19,186 --> 01:03:20,840 You ever return my calls? No. 1680 01:03:20,884 --> 01:03:22,755 Because we're not really friends, you and me. 1681 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:24,322 We're not friends? 1682 01:03:24,365 --> 01:03:26,324 I don't mean it, uh, that... I-I... you... 1683 01:03:26,367 --> 01:03:28,674 You know what you are? 1684 01:03:28,717 --> 01:03:31,372 You are like the thing that pops up on Facebook, 1685 01:03:31,416 --> 01:03:34,288 and then it's, like, this beautiful picture 1686 01:03:34,332 --> 01:03:37,248 of your grandma who's dead. 1687 01:03:37,291 --> 01:03:39,250 And you're like, "Fuck you, Facebook, 1688 01:03:39,293 --> 01:03:41,078 for reminding me of my loss." 1689 01:03:41,121 --> 01:03:42,209 That's why you're avoiding me? 1690 01:03:42,253 --> 01:03:43,907 Because I remind you of loss? 1691 01:03:43,950 --> 01:03:47,693 Yes. I don't want to be reminded of sweet, young Julie 1692 01:03:47,736 --> 01:03:50,043 and our kids and that beautiful time 1693 01:03:50,087 --> 01:03:51,871 -in our lives is over. Oh, God. 1694 01:03:51,915 --> 01:03:54,004 Boo-fucking-hoo with you two. 1695 01:03:54,047 --> 01:03:56,267 You guys completely ignore me. 1696 01:03:56,310 --> 01:03:58,312 -Always. -Yeah, no shit, cheater. 1697 01:03:58,356 --> 01:03:59,879 Oh, cheater? That's my... that's my designation? 1698 01:03:59,923 --> 01:04:01,576 That's what I am? I'm the cheater? 1699 01:04:01,620 --> 01:04:03,274 Fuck that shit. 1700 01:04:03,317 --> 01:04:05,754 Did you guys ever once call me when that went down 1701 01:04:05,798 --> 01:04:07,713 and ask me my side of the story? 1702 01:04:07,756 --> 01:04:09,497 You didn't. 1703 01:04:09,541 --> 01:04:10,934 I would have told you the truth. 1704 01:04:10,977 --> 01:04:12,849 I would have told you that Brenda had stopped 1705 01:04:12,892 --> 01:04:14,372 talking to me months before that happened. 1706 01:04:14,415 --> 01:04:16,330 You know she hooked up with her boss 1707 01:04:16,374 --> 01:04:19,029 at a company retreat in Wisconsin? 1708 01:04:19,072 --> 01:04:20,639 Do you know she beat me up? 1709 01:04:20,682 --> 01:04:22,293 She fucking beat me up 1710 01:04:22,336 --> 01:04:24,599 at a Romano's fucking Macaroni Grill! 1711 01:04:24,643 --> 01:04:27,298 She fucking slapped me in front of the fucking maitre d'! 1712 01:04:27,341 --> 01:04:28,560 -I didn't know that. -I'm sorry, man. 1713 01:04:28,603 --> 01:04:30,562 And I fucking embarrass myself, 1714 01:04:30,605 --> 01:04:32,869 and I embarrass myself in front of my daughter. 1715 01:04:32,912 --> 01:04:34,131 And I-I-I thought, you know, 1716 01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:35,523 I should pull back a little bit, 1717 01:04:35,567 --> 01:04:36,916 and then fucking Frank showed up, 1718 01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:38,831 and he... I pulled back more, 1719 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,702 and I thought, "One day I'm gonna fix it. 1720 01:04:40,746 --> 01:04:42,400 One day I'm gonna fucking fix it." 1721 01:04:42,443 --> 01:04:44,271 And then I thought, if I gave her 1722 01:04:44,315 --> 01:04:48,972 something awesome, like a great night, 1723 01:04:49,015 --> 01:04:51,278 I could get close with her again. 1724 01:04:51,322 --> 01:04:52,889 But I can't. 1725 01:04:56,588 --> 01:04:58,329 'Cause she's gone. They're just... 1726 01:04:58,372 --> 01:05:00,331 The kids, they... 1727 01:05:00,374 --> 01:05:01,810 they just leave. 1728 01:05:01,854 --> 01:05:04,378 Oh, shit! I know how we can find them. 1729 01:05:04,422 --> 01:05:05,858 Go to Cathy and Ron's. 1730 01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:07,294 Austin's been texting them all night. 1731 01:05:07,338 --> 01:05:09,383 Did you hear anything I said just now? 1732 01:05:09,427 --> 01:05:10,994 -That's a great idea. -Fuck it. 1733 01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:12,517 It's just good to say it out loud. 1734 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,780 -Let's go flip that car. -Hell... 1735 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:18,436 Jesus Christ! 1736 01:05:18,479 --> 01:05:21,918 Oh, my fucking God. 1737 01:05:23,136 --> 01:05:24,746 Shit. 1738 01:05:24,790 --> 01:05:27,358 My car just exploded. 1739 01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:32,580 Nanaru is 26 minutes away. 1740 01:05:32,624 --> 01:05:33,973 So that's good. 1741 01:05:34,017 --> 01:05:35,453 -I thought I cancelled him. 1742 01:05:35,496 --> 01:05:36,933 Thanks, Nanaru. 1743 01:05:36,976 --> 01:05:38,151 So Austin's parents aren't gonna 1744 01:05:38,195 --> 01:05:39,544 just tell us where they are. 1745 01:05:39,587 --> 01:05:41,633 So we need to get Ron's phone, 1746 01:05:41,676 --> 01:05:43,983 read the texts and find our kids. 1747 01:05:44,027 --> 01:05:45,115 Okay? 1748 01:05:45,158 --> 01:05:46,986 Hunter, it's not gonna be you. 1749 01:05:47,030 --> 01:05:48,596 So, Mitchell, it's you. 1750 01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:50,381 No. That's breaking and entering. 1751 01:05:50,424 --> 01:05:52,513 That is... I'm uncomfortable with that. 1752 01:05:52,557 --> 01:05:54,298 Are you a team player, or aren't you? 1753 01:05:54,341 --> 01:05:55,560 Am I a team player? 1754 01:05:55,603 --> 01:05:56,909 I just chugged a 40 with my asshole. 1755 01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:57,954 I'm a team player. 1756 01:05:57,997 --> 01:05:59,651 Then get your head in the game. 1757 01:05:59,694 --> 01:06:02,132 It's the bottom of the third, we are down by one, 1758 01:06:02,175 --> 01:06:04,482 and there is not a lot of game left. 1759 01:06:05,918 --> 01:06:07,572 There is a lot of game left, though. 1760 01:06:07,615 --> 01:06:09,574 Listen. You have one pass left. 1761 01:06:09,617 --> 01:06:11,489 One. One pass. 1762 01:06:11,532 --> 01:06:13,578 -Is it rug... rugby? -You don't have a limit on passing. 1763 01:06:13,621 --> 01:06:14,971 Is it Australian-rules football? 1764 01:06:15,014 --> 01:06:16,450 And if it was the third, I would have the fourth... 1765 01:06:16,494 --> 01:06:17,843 You know what? You know what's happening right now? 1766 01:06:17,886 --> 01:06:19,540 Let me tell you what's happening right now. 1767 01:06:19,584 --> 01:06:21,716 Is Kayla and Connor are sliding into bed. 1768 01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:23,240 He's grabbing a condom, 1769 01:06:23,283 --> 01:06:25,416 and then he's flicking it to the side 1770 01:06:25,459 --> 01:06:27,331 with a smirk on his face. 1771 01:06:27,374 --> 01:06:30,421 That fucking smirk. No way. 1772 01:06:30,464 --> 01:06:31,857 We need a Hail Mary pass. 1773 01:06:31,900 --> 01:06:33,380 Are you up for that, son? 1774 01:06:33,424 --> 01:06:34,991 -Yes, Coach. -Well, I can't hear you. 1775 01:06:35,034 --> 01:06:36,557 -Yes, Coach. I'm in it. -I can't hear you! 1776 01:06:36,601 --> 01:06:37,950 I can fucking do this! Let's go! 1777 01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,256 Okay, we gotta... we gotta be quiet. 1778 01:06:44,087 --> 01:06:45,697 Careful. 1779 01:06:51,224 --> 01:06:52,660 All right, go. 1780 01:06:52,704 --> 01:06:54,184 Go. 1781 01:07:06,196 --> 01:07:08,111 ♪ 1782 01:07:20,123 --> 01:07:21,776 Did you...? Look at that. 1783 01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:30,742 Go out that way. 1784 01:07:30,785 --> 01:07:31,917 There's a person. There's a person. 1785 01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:33,397 What? Fuck you. 1786 01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:36,574 Jesus Christ. 1787 01:07:49,282 --> 01:07:52,590 I'm gonna get you. 1788 01:07:52,633 --> 01:07:56,246 Not if I get you first. 1789 01:08:02,730 --> 01:08:04,906 No, no. Get away from here. 1790 01:08:04,950 --> 01:08:07,213 -I'm fucking out. -Mitchell, in. -Get in. 1791 01:08:09,172 --> 01:08:11,652 Cath? Ron, no talking. 1792 01:08:11,696 --> 01:08:14,394 Come on, we had a deal. We have to find each other 1793 01:08:14,438 --> 01:08:16,396 by sensing each other's musks. 1794 01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:17,919 Can't use our voices. 1795 01:08:36,199 --> 01:08:38,636 Here, kitty, kitty. 1796 01:08:38,679 --> 01:08:39,941 I can smell that musk. 1797 01:08:46,948 --> 01:08:49,255 Oh. Yeah. 1798 01:08:49,299 --> 01:08:51,953 -Yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that. 1799 01:08:51,997 --> 01:08:53,825 Oh! 1800 01:08:53,868 --> 01:08:55,740 Oh! Hey. 1801 01:08:55,783 --> 01:08:58,395 You want to touch first, that works for Ronnie. 1802 01:08:58,438 --> 01:08:59,787 You want me to touch you? 1803 01:08:59,831 --> 01:09:01,180 -Help yourself. -You want me to touch you? 1804 01:09:01,224 --> 01:09:03,269 -Yes. -I'm gonna touch you hard. 1805 01:09:03,313 --> 01:09:06,272 -Do it. Do it. -How about I touch you with my nails, baby? 1806 01:09:06,316 --> 01:09:08,535 -Let's have it. -Oh, oh, yeah. 1807 01:09:08,579 --> 01:09:10,189 -Oh, wow -Your hair is so sexy, babe. 1808 01:09:10,233 --> 01:09:11,582 Your grip is unbelievable. 1809 01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:13,323 I want you to touch me 1810 01:09:13,366 --> 01:09:14,715 where I like. 1811 01:09:14,759 --> 01:09:16,543 My balls, you know? 1812 01:09:16,587 --> 01:09:19,285 Oh, you'd like me to touch your balls. 1813 01:09:19,329 --> 01:09:21,635 You want me to touch your balls, do you? 1814 01:09:21,679 --> 01:09:23,768 Yes, I do. How badly do you 1815 01:09:23,811 --> 01:09:25,248 want me to tug at your balls? 1816 01:09:25,291 --> 01:09:27,641 I want you to rip them off my body. 1817 01:09:27,685 --> 01:09:29,687 -That's what I want. -Mm, I don't really believe you. 1818 01:09:29,730 --> 01:09:31,297 I don't believe you want it bad enough. 1819 01:09:31,341 --> 01:09:32,864 I want it bad. Do it. Come on. 1820 01:09:32,907 --> 01:09:34,779 -Really? How bad? -I want it so bad that my balls 1821 01:09:34,822 --> 01:09:36,346 -are going to explode. -Ooh, are they gonna explode 1822 01:09:36,389 --> 01:09:38,522 into a million little pieces? 1823 01:09:38,565 --> 01:09:40,045 Well, let me tell you something, darling. 1824 01:09:40,088 --> 01:09:41,177 It is your lucky day. 1825 01:09:41,220 --> 01:09:42,395 Because it's Christmas for you. 1826 01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:43,657 Let's go. 1827 01:09:43,701 --> 01:09:45,311 Come on. Come on, do it. 1828 01:09:45,355 --> 01:09:47,444 -You there? -What, this isn't hard enough? 1829 01:09:47,487 --> 01:09:48,967 Let's go. Come on. Harder? 1830 01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:50,447 Come on, do it, do it. 1831 01:09:50,490 --> 01:09:52,449 -I'm waiting. -Okeydokey. 1832 01:09:52,492 --> 01:09:55,278 Oh, yeah, you like that? 1833 01:09:55,321 --> 01:09:57,497 Hey, man, I don't judge people's sex shit. 1834 01:09:57,541 --> 01:09:59,325 That was ridiculous and stupid. 1835 01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:00,892 Way to take one for the team, guys. 1836 01:10:00,935 --> 01:10:02,459 Hold on, hold on, hold on. Here it is. 1837 01:10:02,502 --> 01:10:04,287 "The police came to the lake house. 1838 01:10:04,330 --> 01:10:06,419 Almost lost my flower but didn't quite work out." 1839 01:10:06,463 --> 01:10:08,595 -Flower? -Flower? -He said that? He's a boy. 1840 01:10:08,639 --> 01:10:09,683 Hub-uh-uh, hub-uh-uh... 1841 01:10:09,727 --> 01:10:11,250 "Heading to the Park West Hotel. 1842 01:10:11,294 --> 01:10:12,904 -We've got the Grand Lux Suite." -Suite? 1843 01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:14,775 "Looks like the little boy is becoming a man." 1844 01:10:14,819 --> 01:10:15,994 Fucking dork. 1845 01:10:16,037 --> 01:10:17,387 Okay, so that was ten minutes ago. 1846 01:10:17,430 --> 01:10:18,605 So they haven't had sex yet. 1847 01:10:18,649 --> 01:10:19,780 We can still catch 'em. 1848 01:10:19,824 --> 01:10:21,608 Okay, let's do this. 1849 01:10:21,652 --> 01:10:22,870 ♪ 1850 01:10:22,914 --> 01:10:24,829 ♪ I am free, yeah, yeah 1851 01:10:24,872 --> 01:10:27,048 ♪ Come water me, oh, oh 1852 01:10:27,092 --> 01:10:29,050 ♪ Love you so, but if you don't ♪ 1853 01:10:29,094 --> 01:10:32,140 ♪ I have to leave, oh, no, whoo ♪ 1854 01:10:32,184 --> 01:10:34,491 ♪ It's hot, I think I wanna kick off both of my socks ♪ 1855 01:10:34,534 --> 01:10:36,710 ♪ I can feel it boilin' up in this pot ♪ 1856 01:10:36,754 --> 01:10:39,757 ♪ A closed mouth don't get fed, is you hungry or not? ♪ 1857 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,673 ♪ Like brr-brr, operator, caboose like choo-choo ♪ 1858 01:10:42,716 --> 01:10:44,501 ♪ Bless my trainer, thank God, thank God, thank God ♪ 1859 01:10:44,544 --> 01:10:46,503 ♪ I'm gettin' thicker, and I got 'em sweatin' ♪ 1860 01:10:46,546 --> 01:10:47,939 ♪ In the middle of the winter 1861 01:10:47,982 --> 01:10:49,810 ♪ Get up, I don't get dehydrated ♪ 1862 01:10:49,854 --> 01:10:52,639 ♪ I moisturize it daily 1863 01:10:52,683 --> 01:10:55,338 ♪ I am my inspiration 1864 01:10:55,381 --> 01:10:56,861 -♪ I am my inspiration -♪ Get up 1865 01:10:56,904 --> 01:10:58,993 ♪ I am free, yeah, yeah 1866 01:10:59,037 --> 01:11:01,082 ♪ Come water me, oh, oh 1867 01:11:01,126 --> 01:11:02,519 ♪ Love you so, but if you don't ♪ 1868 01:11:02,562 --> 01:11:04,695 ♪ Then I have to go. 1869 01:11:06,436 --> 01:11:07,698 Hey. 1870 01:11:07,741 --> 01:11:09,090 -Hey. -Hey. 1871 01:11:09,134 --> 01:11:11,136 How's she doing? Is she okay? 1872 01:11:11,179 --> 01:11:12,920 No, she's not doing okay. She's bummed. 1873 01:11:12,964 --> 01:11:15,358 She doesn't even want to kiss. And I love kissing. 1874 01:11:17,229 --> 01:11:18,622 Give me your room key. 1875 01:11:18,665 --> 01:11:20,145 -What? Why? -Yeah. 1876 01:11:20,188 --> 01:11:22,190 Give me your room key, and then bring her up 1877 01:11:22,234 --> 01:11:23,714 in like 15 minutes. 1878 01:11:24,889 --> 01:11:26,325 -Okay. -Yes. 1879 01:11:26,369 --> 01:11:27,544 Thanks. You're the man. 1880 01:11:27,587 --> 01:11:29,328 Thank you for this. 1881 01:11:31,852 --> 01:11:33,767 ♪ 1882 01:11:35,552 --> 01:11:37,118 How we supposed to find them in this place? 1883 01:11:37,162 --> 01:11:38,729 It's got like 20 rooms. 1884 01:11:38,772 --> 01:11:40,252 I'm sorry, what the fuck 1885 01:11:40,296 --> 01:11:41,688 are you talking about? 1886 01:11:41,732 --> 01:11:43,690 20? It's got like 200. 1887 01:11:43,734 --> 01:11:45,039 What? 20? 1888 01:11:45,083 --> 01:11:47,085 Grand Lux Suite is on the top floor. 1889 01:11:47,128 --> 01:11:48,347 Go, go, go, go. 1890 01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:50,175 Move. Hurry, Lisa! 1891 01:11:50,218 --> 01:11:54,614 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1892 01:11:54,658 --> 01:11:56,616 ♪ Make it clap like this 1893 01:11:56,660 --> 01:11:59,837 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance... ♪ 1894 01:12:08,976 --> 01:12:10,891 ♪ 1895 01:12:31,216 --> 01:12:33,131 ♪ 1896 01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:54,282 What am I doing here? 1897 01:13:13,084 --> 01:13:14,694 Oh, my God. 1898 01:13:14,738 --> 01:13:16,870 Oh, my God, my favorite. 1899 01:13:16,914 --> 01:13:18,611 That's so sweet. 1900 01:13:18,655 --> 01:13:20,134 Oh, my God. 1901 01:13:20,178 --> 01:13:21,614 This is a dream. 1902 01:13:21,658 --> 01:13:23,007 It's, like, perfect. 1903 01:13:23,050 --> 01:13:24,443 That is... It's so nice. 1904 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:25,618 You're so sweet. 1905 01:13:25,662 --> 01:13:27,620 It actually wasn't me. 1906 01:13:27,664 --> 01:13:28,882 It was Kayla. 1907 01:13:28,926 --> 01:13:30,536 She wanted you to have the perfect night. 1908 01:13:30,580 --> 01:13:31,842 That's why it looks so good. 1909 01:13:31,885 --> 01:13:34,497 Well, why do you look so good? 1910 01:13:34,540 --> 01:13:36,455 You're such a dork. 1911 01:13:36,499 --> 01:13:38,109 I-I know. 1912 01:13:40,503 --> 01:13:42,461 -Oh, my God. 1913 01:13:46,683 --> 01:13:48,902 Not as smooth as I could. 1914 01:13:52,515 --> 01:13:54,430 Let me get my shoes. 1915 01:13:55,474 --> 01:13:57,389 ♪ 1916 01:13:58,564 --> 01:13:59,609 Kayla? 1917 01:14:05,963 --> 01:14:07,486 Nobody move. Where's Kayla? 1918 01:14:07,530 --> 01:14:09,575 Kayla? Kayla? 1919 01:14:10,750 --> 01:14:12,360 Get that out of here. 1920 01:14:12,404 --> 01:14:13,753 Now, how's this work? Is this...? 1921 01:14:13,797 --> 01:14:15,015 -No, just leave it. -Okay, cool. 1922 01:14:15,059 --> 01:14:16,060 -It's difficult. -Mm-hmm. 1923 01:14:19,324 --> 01:14:20,978 Play sports. 1924 01:14:21,021 --> 01:14:22,936 Mwah. Mwah. 1925 01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:25,678 Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. 1926 01:14:25,722 --> 01:14:27,158 Mwah. 1927 01:14:27,201 --> 01:14:28,725 And that's that. 1928 01:14:28,768 --> 01:14:31,945 So, you, uh, sure you want to do this? 1929 01:14:31,989 --> 01:14:32,990 Yeah. 1930 01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:34,687 Yes. Fuck yeah. 1931 01:14:34,731 --> 01:14:36,689 You're gonna... you're gonna penis me. 1932 01:14:36,733 --> 01:14:39,126 -Yep. -First, I'm gonna... 1933 01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:40,867 I'm just gonna touch it. 1934 01:14:40,911 --> 01:14:42,521 -You want to touch it? Yeah, you can touch it. -Yeah. 1935 01:14:42,565 --> 01:14:44,349 -Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah. -Okay, just, like... 1936 01:14:44,392 --> 01:14:46,351 Oh! Wow! 1937 01:14:46,394 --> 01:14:48,309 Okay. That is, like, the greatest feeling 1938 01:14:48,353 --> 01:14:50,529 I've ever had in my entire life. 1939 01:14:50,573 --> 01:14:52,618 Really? 1940 01:14:52,662 --> 01:14:55,708 It doesn't just feel like a super dry hand of a friend? 1941 01:14:55,752 --> 01:14:57,754 No. Nope. 1942 01:14:58,885 --> 01:15:00,713 Okay, so... 1943 01:15:00,757 --> 01:15:03,890 do you want to, um... 1944 01:15:03,934 --> 01:15:05,326 put it in? 1945 01:15:08,591 --> 01:15:09,766 No. 1946 01:15:09,809 --> 01:15:11,245 Okay. 1947 01:15:11,289 --> 01:15:12,856 -I can't. I'm sorry. -You know what? 1948 01:15:12,899 --> 01:15:15,554 Look, we don't ha... 1949 01:15:15,598 --> 01:15:17,208 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 1950 01:15:17,251 --> 01:15:19,079 -Holy shit! -Right there. Look at all of it. 1951 01:15:19,123 --> 01:15:20,907 Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over. 1952 01:15:20,951 --> 01:15:23,040 -Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1953 01:15:23,083 --> 01:15:24,868 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1954 01:15:24,911 --> 01:15:27,566 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... 1955 01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:29,568 -It's okay. -I was thinking about it and you, 1956 01:15:29,612 --> 01:15:31,614 and then it just... I'm sorry. 1957 01:15:33,224 --> 01:15:35,008 My God. 1958 01:15:35,052 --> 01:15:36,575 You're amazing. 1959 01:15:36,619 --> 01:15:38,621 I know we're still virgins, 1960 01:15:38,664 --> 01:15:41,319 but I feel different, you know? 1961 01:15:41,362 --> 01:15:43,713 Yeah. 1962 01:15:43,756 --> 01:15:45,323 I know. 1963 01:15:48,021 --> 01:15:50,807 You ready to, uh, do this? 1964 01:15:50,850 --> 01:15:52,939 Wait. 1965 01:15:52,983 --> 01:15:55,768 Wait. Um... 1966 01:15:55,812 --> 01:15:58,205 Ah, shit. 1967 01:15:58,249 --> 01:15:59,816 Shit. 1968 01:16:01,774 --> 01:16:04,037 Maybe Julie was right. 1969 01:16:04,081 --> 01:16:06,649 Like, maybe losing your virginity 1970 01:16:06,692 --> 01:16:08,955 doesn't have to be perfect, but... 1971 01:16:08,999 --> 01:16:10,696 I feel like it should just be, like, 1972 01:16:10,740 --> 01:16:12,916 a little bit more special than this, you know? 1973 01:16:12,959 --> 01:16:14,613 -Yeah. -Like, not cheesy, but... 1974 01:16:14,657 --> 01:16:16,963 Like, if I was hard-pressed right now, 1975 01:16:17,007 --> 01:16:19,749 I don't think I could remember your last name. 1976 01:16:19,792 --> 01:16:20,750 -It's Aldrich. -Aldrich. 1977 01:16:20,793 --> 01:16:22,839 I thought it was Ostrich. 1978 01:16:22,882 --> 01:16:25,189 I-I didn't realize that you're a virgin. 1979 01:16:25,232 --> 01:16:27,408 -You know? -Yeah. 1980 01:16:27,452 --> 01:16:31,195 Um, but, like, I'd still be down to do it, 1981 01:16:31,238 --> 01:16:32,936 but maybe, like, you know, 1982 01:16:32,979 --> 01:16:35,025 when we get to know each other a little more. 1983 01:16:35,068 --> 01:16:36,766 Like, maybe Monday or something? 1984 01:16:36,809 --> 01:16:39,333 -Yeah. -Not to, like, plan it and be weird, but, like... 1985 01:16:39,377 --> 01:16:41,074 No, no, I can look at my schedule 1986 01:16:41,118 --> 01:16:42,641 -and see if it's... -Okay. 1987 01:16:42,685 --> 01:16:44,208 Pencil it in. 1988 01:16:44,251 --> 01:16:46,210 Um, yeah, that's cool. 1989 01:16:46,253 --> 01:16:47,951 -Okay, cool. -Um, let's just relax. 1990 01:16:47,994 --> 01:16:50,127 We could do, like, some light journaling or something. 1991 01:16:50,170 --> 01:16:53,130 Yeah, yeah, we could... we could do that. 1992 01:16:53,173 --> 01:16:58,091 Or we could do, like, other stuff. 1993 01:16:58,135 --> 01:17:00,093 Yeah? Like what? 1994 01:17:00,137 --> 01:17:02,313 Like... 1995 01:17:02,356 --> 01:17:05,490 not sex, but... 1996 01:17:05,533 --> 01:17:09,189 I'm still down for pleasure. 1997 01:17:16,153 --> 01:17:18,111 You got this. 1998 01:17:18,155 --> 01:17:19,199 Hey, guys. What's up? 1999 01:17:19,243 --> 01:17:21,985 Anyone seen Sam? Anyone seen Sam? 2000 01:17:27,033 --> 01:17:29,122 Chad! 2001 01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:30,123 Fuck. 2002 01:17:30,167 --> 01:17:31,690 Get out of the way. 2003 01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:35,651 Jesus! 2004 01:17:38,088 --> 01:17:39,611 What the f...? 2005 01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:40,917 You again? 2006 01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:42,353 -You! -What the fuck? 2007 01:17:42,396 --> 01:17:43,876 What's your beef with me, dude? 2008 01:17:43,920 --> 01:17:45,182 I don't know who the fuck you are! 2009 01:17:45,225 --> 01:17:47,184 I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue. 2010 01:17:47,227 --> 01:17:49,186 That name means nothing to me. 2011 01:17:49,229 --> 01:17:51,144 Do you know what it's like to be humiliated 2012 01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:52,624 in front of everyone you know 2013 01:17:52,668 --> 01:17:54,539 and have to seek redemption for that? 2014 01:17:55,714 --> 01:17:57,803 Actually, yes, I do. 2015 01:17:57,847 --> 01:18:00,980 Kayla? Kayla? 2016 01:18:01,024 --> 01:18:02,634 Kayla? Get the hell away 2017 01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:04,854 from my daughter, you little piece of shit! 2018 01:18:04,897 --> 01:18:06,725 -Dad, what the...? 2019 01:18:06,769 --> 01:18:08,161 Oh, my God! 2020 01:18:08,205 --> 01:18:09,859 You okay? He didn't hurt you, did he? 2021 01:18:09,902 --> 01:18:11,469 What? No, he didn't hurt me. 2022 01:18:11,512 --> 01:18:13,514 Holy shit! Connor. 2023 01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,168 Ow. -Oh, my God, are you okay? 2024 01:18:15,212 --> 01:18:16,779 I'm actually totally fine. 2025 01:18:16,822 --> 01:18:18,302 Connor, I'm so sorry. 2026 01:18:18,345 --> 01:18:19,346 -Are you okay, though? -Yeah, please... 2027 01:18:19,390 --> 01:18:20,608 Are you sure? 2028 01:18:20,652 --> 01:18:22,741 Dad, what the... what are you doing here? 2029 01:18:22,785 --> 01:18:24,438 I've been following you around all night. 2030 01:18:24,482 --> 01:18:26,136 Are you ser...? Oh, my God. 2031 01:18:26,179 --> 01:18:27,615 You've been following me? 2032 01:18:27,659 --> 01:18:29,226 -Are you crazy? -You gave me no choice. 2033 01:18:29,269 --> 01:18:30,575 You're in over your head with this kid. 2034 01:18:30,618 --> 01:18:31,881 I am not some pathetic 2035 01:18:31,924 --> 01:18:33,360 damsel in distress that needs saving. 2036 01:18:33,404 --> 01:18:34,797 -I can handle myself. -No, you can't. 2037 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:36,363 -Yes, I can. -No, you can't. 2038 01:18:36,407 --> 01:18:38,757 -Yes, I can. -Kayla, you can't. 2039 01:18:38,801 --> 01:18:40,759 And that's why I'm here. 2040 01:18:40,803 --> 01:18:42,021 It's my job. 2041 01:18:43,806 --> 01:18:45,242 Oh. 2042 01:18:45,285 --> 01:18:47,635 Yeah, so you just don't think 2043 01:18:47,679 --> 01:18:51,204 I can make my own decisions and handle myself. 2044 01:18:51,248 --> 01:18:53,554 That really fucking sucks. 2045 01:18:56,906 --> 01:18:59,647 Kayla... 2046 01:18:59,691 --> 01:19:02,563 Kayla, I'm just trying to figure this thing out. 2047 01:19:02,607 --> 01:19:05,741 God. Why is sex even bad? 2048 01:19:10,354 --> 01:19:12,530 I-I don't know. I don't know. It's... 2049 01:19:12,573 --> 01:19:14,445 It's not... You know, it's... 2050 01:19:14,488 --> 01:19:16,403 I don't know. 2051 01:19:17,622 --> 01:19:19,363 I'm... 2052 01:19:19,406 --> 01:19:22,540 I'm just trying to be the best dad I can be. 2053 01:19:22,583 --> 01:19:24,977 Well, you are. 2054 01:19:25,021 --> 01:19:28,024 You taught me everything. 2055 01:19:28,067 --> 01:19:30,417 You built me up. 2056 01:19:30,461 --> 01:19:32,506 Made me strong. 2057 01:19:32,550 --> 01:19:35,118 You made me into who I am. 2058 01:19:35,161 --> 01:19:37,642 Like, that's... 2059 01:19:37,685 --> 01:19:41,341 You did not have to save me tonight, Dad. 2060 01:19:41,385 --> 01:19:45,563 You taught me how to do that a long time ago. 2061 01:19:46,694 --> 01:19:47,957 And I love you for it. 2062 01:19:50,481 --> 01:19:52,570 Best coach ever. 2063 01:19:57,401 --> 01:19:59,969 Thank you. Thank you. 2064 01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:02,928 -Oh, Dad, come on. 2065 01:20:02,972 --> 01:20:04,669 Come on, toughen up. 2066 01:20:06,279 --> 01:20:08,107 It was just really nice what you said. 2067 01:20:08,151 --> 01:20:10,022 It's good. It's good. 2068 01:20:10,066 --> 01:20:11,502 I mean it. 2069 01:20:11,545 --> 01:20:13,721 Thanks. I feel like... 2070 01:20:13,765 --> 01:20:17,464 like Phil Jackson when he was coaching the Bulls, 2071 01:20:17,508 --> 01:20:21,251 and... and then the... and they were so good. 2072 01:20:22,861 --> 01:20:24,907 -That's how I feel right now. -Yeah. 2073 01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:27,866 I should have taken my socks off first. 2074 01:20:29,868 --> 01:20:32,871 Now, I'm just warning you, I've practiced a few times, 2075 01:20:32,915 --> 01:20:35,221 -but this might not go that well. -That doesn't look right. 2076 01:20:35,265 --> 01:20:36,832 -Yeah, all right. -I think you need another one. 2077 01:20:36,875 --> 01:20:38,964 -I think we need another one, too. -Wait, wait. 2078 01:20:39,008 --> 01:20:40,705 We have to do our dance. 2079 01:20:40,748 --> 01:20:42,489 -We have to. Like, yeah, yeah. -What, now? 2080 01:20:42,533 --> 01:20:44,578 -Naked? -No, get me one of those, um... 2081 01:20:44,622 --> 01:20:46,276 the hotel robes. I want to feel fabulous. 2082 01:20:46,319 --> 01:20:47,930 Okay. 2083 01:20:47,973 --> 01:20:49,409 Coming right up, milady. 2084 01:20:52,804 --> 01:20:55,285 ♪ Your shadow running around 2085 01:20:55,328 --> 01:20:57,678 ♪ It's funny how things never change ♪ 2086 01:20:57,722 --> 01:20:59,680 ♪ In this old town 2087 01:20:59,724 --> 01:21:01,117 ♪ So far 2088 01:21:02,901 --> 01:21:04,947 ♪ From the stars... 2089 01:21:04,990 --> 01:21:08,037 We're gonna christen every corner of this room. 2090 01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:11,083 And when we're done, let's FaceTime my parents. 2091 01:21:11,127 --> 01:21:12,606 Okay, but right now, 2092 01:21:12,650 --> 01:21:14,826 I want you to stare into my eyes. 2093 01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:16,306 What? Mm-hmm. 2094 01:21:16,349 --> 01:21:18,874 I just want, like, a real connection. 2095 01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:21,789 So you just want me to look straight into your eyes 2096 01:21:21,833 --> 01:21:23,530 for the next three minutes and 37 seconds? 2097 01:21:23,574 --> 01:21:24,662 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 2098 01:21:24,705 --> 01:21:27,230 ♪ Wish I was there with you now ♪ 2099 01:21:29,536 --> 01:21:31,669 ♪ If the whole world was watching ♪ 2100 01:21:31,712 --> 01:21:33,279 ♪ I'd still dance with you 2101 01:21:33,323 --> 01:21:34,672 Look at me. 2102 01:21:34,715 --> 01:21:36,500 ♪ Drive highways and byways 2103 01:21:36,543 --> 01:21:38,632 ♪ To be there with you 2104 01:21:38,676 --> 01:21:42,898 ♪ Over and over the only truth ♪ 2105 01:21:42,941 --> 01:21:47,163 ♪ Everything comes back to you ♪ 2106 01:21:53,952 --> 01:21:57,956 ♪ I saw that you moved on with someone new ♪ 2107 01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:00,350 ♪ In the pub that we met 2108 01:22:00,393 --> 01:22:02,178 ♪ He's got his arms around you ♪ 2109 01:22:02,221 --> 01:22:05,355 ♪ It's so hard 2110 01:22:07,052 --> 01:22:10,447 ♪ So hard 2111 01:22:12,014 --> 01:22:14,407 ♪ And I want to tell you everything ♪ 2112 01:22:14,451 --> 01:22:18,934 ♪ The words I never got to say the first time around ♪ 2113 01:22:20,892 --> 01:22:23,460 ♪ And I remember everything 2114 01:22:23,503 --> 01:22:25,157 ♪ From when we were the children ♪ 2115 01:22:25,201 --> 01:22:27,159 ♪ Playing in this fairground 2116 01:22:27,203 --> 01:22:29,205 ♪ Wish I was there with you now ♪ 2117 01:22:32,382 --> 01:22:35,385 ♪ 'Cause if the whole world was watching, I'd still... ♪ 2118 01:22:35,428 --> 01:22:37,343 ♪ 2119 01:22:50,835 --> 01:22:52,315 -Dad? -Where is he? 2120 01:22:52,358 --> 01:22:54,578 -What are you doing here? -Chad? 2121 01:22:54,621 --> 01:22:56,319 Hey, Chad, you motherfucker. 2122 01:22:56,362 --> 01:22:58,625 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? 2123 01:22:58,669 --> 01:23:00,192 Did he make you do something you don't want to do? 2124 01:23:00,236 --> 01:23:01,498 'Cause I don't care if he's 2125 01:23:01,541 --> 01:23:02,803 the fucking coolest kid in school. 2126 01:23:02,847 --> 01:23:04,066 I'm gonna shove his fedora 2127 01:23:04,109 --> 01:23:06,720 so far up his ass, it'll be a hat. 2128 01:23:06,764 --> 01:23:09,549 No, Dad, we didn't do it. 2129 01:23:09,593 --> 01:23:11,029 All right? And even if we did, 2130 01:23:11,073 --> 01:23:13,945 it would be none of your business. 2131 01:23:16,774 --> 01:23:20,473 It's just, I was worried about you. 2132 01:23:20,517 --> 01:23:21,822 Well, that's a first. 2133 01:23:23,128 --> 01:23:25,522 I deserve that. 2134 01:23:25,565 --> 01:23:26,871 Sam, I gotta tell you something, 2135 01:23:26,914 --> 01:23:28,829 and I'm just gonna say it. 2136 01:23:37,273 --> 01:23:42,495 Sam, I have realized over the last few years... 2137 01:23:44,149 --> 01:23:46,238 ...that I have made a big mistake in my life. 2138 01:23:46,282 --> 01:23:48,458 What, like cheating on my mom? 2139 01:23:49,676 --> 01:23:51,504 Well, no. Marrying your mom. 2140 01:23:51,548 --> 01:23:53,028 But no, that... that wasn't a mistake, 2141 01:23:53,071 --> 01:23:55,117 because then I wouldn't have had you. 2142 01:23:57,119 --> 01:24:02,515 I've made lots of mistakes, but th-the big mistake... 2143 01:24:02,559 --> 01:24:08,217 is that I let what happened between your mom and I 2144 01:24:08,260 --> 01:24:11,263 get in the way of our relationship. 2145 01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:16,442 I'm sorry. 2146 01:24:18,140 --> 01:24:22,579 And I hope that we can start over and... 2147 01:24:22,622 --> 01:24:26,191 build up our relationship again because... 2148 01:24:26,235 --> 01:24:28,019 you're my only kid. 2149 01:24:29,716 --> 01:24:31,153 And I'm your only dad. 2150 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:32,502 Well, Frank is... 2151 01:24:32,545 --> 01:24:33,851 Fuck Frank. 2152 01:24:37,594 --> 01:24:39,465 Frank's fine. 2153 01:24:39,509 --> 01:24:43,426 Dad, can I tell you something now? 2154 01:24:43,469 --> 01:24:44,514 Yes. 2155 01:24:44,557 --> 01:24:45,993 Yes, yes, yes, anything. 2156 01:24:46,037 --> 01:24:47,995 I'm a lesbian. 2157 01:24:54,306 --> 01:24:56,003 Give me your hand. 2158 01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,529 What does your mom think? 2159 01:24:59,572 --> 01:25:00,660 She doesn't know. 2160 01:25:05,448 --> 01:25:07,493 You told me before you told your mom? 2161 01:25:07,537 --> 01:25:09,974 -Yeah. -: That's big news. 2162 01:25:10,017 --> 01:25:12,150 She doesn't know? 2163 01:25:12,194 --> 01:25:14,239 -You didn't tell Frank? -No. 2164 01:25:25,642 --> 01:25:27,687 Okay. Over. 2165 01:25:27,731 --> 01:25:29,776 Crying is over. 2166 01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:31,038 What do your girlfriends think? 2167 01:25:31,082 --> 01:25:32,823 No, I'm too nervous. I can't tell them. 2168 01:25:32,866 --> 01:25:34,912 You're nervous to tell Kayla and Julie? 2169 01:25:34,955 --> 01:25:38,350 It's just... I don't want to lose my two best friends. 2170 01:25:38,394 --> 01:25:40,570 This is the stuff you tell the people you care about. 2171 01:25:40,613 --> 01:25:43,442 You think they're not gonna support you because you're gay? 2172 01:25:43,486 --> 01:25:46,750 They would support you if you were a vampire. 2173 01:25:46,793 --> 01:25:48,795 They would support you more. 2174 01:25:48,839 --> 01:25:51,146 -With all the Twilight shit. 2175 01:25:51,189 --> 01:25:53,713 -Do we still like Twilight? -Definitely not. 2176 01:25:53,757 --> 01:25:55,802 No, no. 2177 01:25:55,846 --> 01:25:57,456 Oh, God. 2178 01:25:58,805 --> 01:26:00,807 Thanks for showing up. 2179 01:26:00,851 --> 01:26:01,939 Really. 2180 01:26:01,982 --> 01:26:04,855 But you should probably leave 2181 01:26:04,898 --> 01:26:07,597 because it's insane that you even came here 2182 01:26:07,640 --> 01:26:09,947 in the first place. 2183 01:26:09,990 --> 01:26:11,862 I'd love to get a picture with you. 2184 01:26:11,905 --> 01:26:13,429 Yeah. 2185 01:26:13,472 --> 01:26:15,474 Great. Okay. 2186 01:26:15,518 --> 01:26:17,215 Just gonna stand on this. 2187 01:26:17,259 --> 01:26:19,478 Yeah, you know... you know the drill. Come on. 2188 01:26:19,522 --> 01:26:21,132 Come on. Here we go. 2189 01:26:21,176 --> 01:26:23,178 Gotta turn it around here. 2190 01:26:26,529 --> 01:26:28,270 Dad, you're not taking it. 2191 01:26:28,313 --> 01:26:29,662 It's... 2192 01:26:31,490 --> 01:26:34,058 What? 2193 01:26:34,101 --> 01:26:36,582 I'll remember this. 2194 01:26:36,626 --> 01:26:38,062 Come on. 2195 01:26:38,105 --> 01:26:39,759 Oh, my God. 2196 01:26:39,803 --> 01:26:41,413 What's up, dawg? 2197 01:26:41,457 --> 01:26:43,894 So, I just, uh... 2198 01:26:43,937 --> 01:26:46,288 parented the shit out of Sam. 2199 01:26:46,331 --> 01:26:48,159 And I feel, uh... 2200 01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:50,248 oh, God, like, uh... 2201 01:26:50,292 --> 01:26:52,119 pride, I think. 2202 01:26:52,163 --> 01:26:53,469 -That's it. -It's new. 2203 01:26:53,512 --> 01:26:54,905 Good for you, man. 2204 01:26:54,948 --> 01:26:56,080 Thanks. 2205 01:26:56,123 --> 01:26:57,168 Well done, my friend. 2206 01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:58,430 -Thank you. -Well done. 2207 01:26:58,474 --> 01:27:00,040 How'd it go with Kayla? 2208 01:27:00,084 --> 01:27:01,651 Put Connor through a wall. 2209 01:27:01,694 --> 01:27:03,348 Are you serious? 2210 01:27:03,392 --> 01:27:05,263 Yeah. He's okay. 2211 01:27:05,307 --> 01:27:06,830 Yeah, he's lighter than I thought. 2212 01:27:08,092 --> 01:27:09,572 Hey. 2213 01:27:09,615 --> 01:27:10,790 Hi. 2214 01:27:10,834 --> 01:27:13,315 So, Julie's, um... 2215 01:27:13,358 --> 01:27:14,925 Julie's having sex right now. 2216 01:27:14,968 --> 01:27:17,319 -Okay. And sit down. -Wowie. 2217 01:27:17,362 --> 01:27:18,798 Yeah. 2218 01:27:18,842 --> 01:27:20,670 But it's good. It's fine, right? 2219 01:27:20,713 --> 01:27:22,541 I mean, you have to do that eventually. 2220 01:27:22,585 --> 01:27:23,760 Right? 2221 01:27:23,803 --> 01:27:25,327 -Are you good? -Yeah. 2222 01:27:25,370 --> 01:27:28,025 They seem like they really like each other, and that's nice. 2223 01:27:28,068 --> 01:27:31,507 That's a good thing, but it's just a little, you know, scary, 2224 01:27:31,550 --> 01:27:34,379 because what if he doesn't know how to do it right? 2225 01:27:34,423 --> 01:27:37,034 You know, like, what if he doesn't know where to put it? 2226 01:27:37,077 --> 01:27:38,775 But he knows, right? Should I go back up there? 2227 01:27:38,818 --> 01:27:40,646 -No. No, no, no, no. -No, no, he'll figure it out. 2228 01:27:40,690 --> 01:27:41,865 -No, no. -It's one or the other. 2229 01:27:41,908 --> 01:27:43,910 Nope. You stay right here. 2230 01:27:43,954 --> 01:27:46,348 Do you want to have a drink right now? 2231 01:27:47,653 --> 01:27:49,394 You mean, like, hang out? 2232 01:27:49,438 --> 01:27:50,395 Yeah. 2233 01:27:50,439 --> 01:27:52,876 Yes, I do. 2234 01:27:52,919 --> 01:27:54,704 I'm in. I'm definitely in. 2235 01:27:54,747 --> 01:27:57,533 Um, we will be having some shots of alcohol, please. 2236 01:27:57,576 --> 01:27:58,664 Yes, we will. 2237 01:27:58,708 --> 01:27:59,709 This is crazy. 2238 01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:02,755 -This is... -Well, I'm going to, uh... 2239 01:28:02,799 --> 01:28:06,585 let you guys have your fun, and I will, uh... 2240 01:28:06,629 --> 01:28:08,805 I-I will see you guys around. 2241 01:28:13,723 --> 01:28:15,377 Hey! 2242 01:28:16,900 --> 01:28:18,423 You, too. 2243 01:28:20,033 --> 01:28:21,644 Yeah. 2244 01:28:21,687 --> 01:28:23,298 Right. 2245 01:28:23,341 --> 01:28:25,038 Fuck yeah. 2246 01:28:25,082 --> 01:28:26,997 -Piña colada. 2247 01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:28,477 Just get him a shot. 2248 01:28:29,565 --> 01:28:31,218 Cheers. 2249 01:28:31,262 --> 01:28:32,481 What a night, guys. 2250 01:28:32,524 --> 01:28:34,134 That's beautiful. 2251 01:28:36,746 --> 01:28:39,792 So, I don't think the kid at the lake house 2252 01:28:39,836 --> 01:28:41,403 was actually butt-chugging. 2253 01:28:41,446 --> 01:28:42,708 Definitely. Yeah. 2254 01:28:42,752 --> 01:28:44,144 What? -Yep. -Yeah. 2255 01:28:44,188 --> 01:28:46,669 And so he threw me through a table, uh... 2256 01:28:46,712 --> 01:28:48,061 I'm so sorry. No, it was cool. 2257 01:28:48,105 --> 01:28:50,063 I, like... I kind of feel fine. 2258 01:28:50,107 --> 01:28:51,978 -All right, see you. -It's cool. -See you. 2259 01:28:52,022 --> 01:28:53,240 Hey, guys. 2260 01:28:53,284 --> 01:28:54,416 Austin, uh, let's go 2261 01:28:54,459 --> 01:28:55,591 -get a drink, man. -Yeah, sure. 2262 01:28:55,634 --> 01:28:56,853 Want a fry? 2263 01:28:56,896 --> 01:28:58,898 So badly. 2264 01:29:00,465 --> 01:29:02,337 Can I have a fry, too? 2265 01:29:02,380 --> 01:29:04,208 -Yeah. -Yes. 2266 01:29:05,296 --> 01:29:06,558 So... 2267 01:29:06,602 --> 01:29:09,213 I... I couldn't go through with it. 2268 01:29:09,256 --> 01:29:12,259 Yes, I didn't. No. 2269 01:29:16,133 --> 01:29:17,439 Holy shit. 2270 01:29:17,482 --> 01:29:19,136 You're a woman amongst girls. 2271 01:29:19,179 --> 01:29:20,790 -Julie. -Yeah. -Congratu-fuck-ulations. 2272 01:29:20,833 --> 01:29:23,183 -Thank you. Thank you. -How was it? 2273 01:29:23,227 --> 01:29:24,489 Honestly, it was a little painful, 2274 01:29:24,533 --> 01:29:26,839 kind of fast and kind of awkward, 2275 01:29:26,883 --> 01:29:28,406 but absolutely perfect. 2276 01:29:28,450 --> 01:29:29,712 Aw! 2277 01:29:30,756 --> 01:29:32,410 You guys, so much... 2278 01:29:32,454 --> 01:29:34,194 so much went down tonight. 2279 01:29:34,238 --> 01:29:35,195 I know. 2280 01:29:35,239 --> 01:29:37,328 Including Connor. 2281 01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:39,330 -No. Let's just say... 2282 01:29:39,374 --> 01:29:41,463 The Chef went out to eat... 2283 01:29:41,506 --> 01:29:43,073 my pussy. 2284 01:29:44,422 --> 01:29:45,641 It was good. 2285 01:29:45,684 --> 01:29:47,207 Ba-ba-ba! 2286 01:29:47,251 --> 01:29:49,209 -DJ Chad. -Is that Chad? 2287 01:29:49,253 --> 01:29:51,821 -That's Chad. Chad! -That's Chad. 2288 01:29:51,864 --> 01:29:53,475 ♪ Scream my name -Yes, Chad! 2289 01:29:53,518 --> 01:29:55,477 Holy shit. Fuck yeah, Chad! 2290 01:29:55,520 --> 01:29:57,217 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself ♪ 2291 01:29:57,261 --> 01:30:00,090 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else, hey ♪ 2292 01:30:00,133 --> 01:30:02,527 ♪ Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2293 01:30:02,571 --> 01:30:04,834 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 2294 01:30:04,877 --> 01:30:06,705 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2295 01:30:06,749 --> 01:30:09,882 ♪ Any time, day or night... 2296 01:30:09,926 --> 01:30:12,145 Guys, I got to tell you something. 2297 01:30:12,189 --> 01:30:13,973 Okay, okay. 2298 01:30:17,020 --> 01:30:18,456 Really? 2299 01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:19,588 -Yeah. -Wait, you are? 2300 01:30:19,631 --> 01:30:21,459 Yeah. 2301 01:30:21,503 --> 01:30:22,982 I love you. 2302 01:30:23,026 --> 01:30:24,506 Forever. 2303 01:30:24,549 --> 01:30:26,290 And you, too. 2304 01:30:26,333 --> 01:30:28,292 Oh, my God! 2305 01:30:30,163 --> 01:30:31,513 Excuse me. 2306 01:30:31,556 --> 01:30:33,123 I can't believe you didn't tell us. 2307 01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:34,429 Yay! 2308 01:30:38,345 --> 01:30:39,564 -Oh, hey. -Hey. 2309 01:30:39,608 --> 01:30:41,087 -Hey. -Hi. 2310 01:30:41,131 --> 01:30:42,959 Oh. 2311 01:30:43,002 --> 01:30:45,831 Uh, Julie, I think we got something over here. 2312 01:30:47,572 --> 01:30:49,095 Dope cape. 2313 01:30:52,229 --> 01:30:54,187 And I'm not... 2314 01:30:54,231 --> 01:30:55,754 misreading things. 2315 01:30:58,583 --> 01:31:02,544 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2316 01:31:02,587 --> 01:31:04,502 ♪ Hey, gonna love myself 2317 01:31:04,546 --> 01:31:06,504 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2318 01:31:06,548 --> 01:31:08,550 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 2319 01:31:08,593 --> 01:31:10,595 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2320 01:31:10,639 --> 01:31:13,511 ♪ Any time, day or night 2321 01:31:13,555 --> 01:31:16,253 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself ♪ 2322 01:31:16,296 --> 01:31:18,429 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else... ♪ 2323 01:31:20,605 --> 01:31:23,086 So you'll call me every day till you get to L.A., right? 2324 01:31:23,129 --> 01:31:24,566 Yeah, and then, like, every day after that. 2325 01:31:24,609 --> 01:31:25,741 Okay. 2326 01:31:25,784 --> 01:31:27,046 I'm gonna miss you so much. 2327 01:31:27,090 --> 01:31:28,918 You're gonna be okay, though. 2328 01:31:28,961 --> 01:31:30,354 Are you gonna be okay? 2329 01:31:30,397 --> 01:31:31,616 Yeah, I'm fine. 2330 01:31:31,660 --> 01:31:33,792 It's the weirdest thing because... 2331 01:31:33,836 --> 01:31:38,754 I have been worried about this day for 18 years, 2332 01:31:38,797 --> 01:31:42,366 and then I wake up this morning, and... 2333 01:31:42,409 --> 01:31:44,281 nothing. 2334 01:31:44,324 --> 01:31:45,978 Like, I don't feel emotional at all. 2335 01:31:46,022 --> 01:31:48,241 I just feel, like... 2336 01:31:48,285 --> 01:31:50,156 -It's so bizarre. -Mm-hmm. 2337 01:31:50,200 --> 01:31:51,636 What is that? 2338 01:31:51,680 --> 01:31:52,985 It's, like, splashing on me. 2339 01:31:53,029 --> 01:31:54,726 I know. Isn't that so strange? 2340 01:31:54,770 --> 01:31:55,945 Yeah. 2341 01:31:58,077 --> 01:31:59,514 I love you, Mom. 2342 01:32:00,602 --> 01:32:01,994 I love you. 2343 01:32:04,170 --> 01:32:05,563 No, I have money. I... 2344 01:32:05,607 --> 01:32:07,260 Lisa, tell him I can afford br... 2345 01:32:07,304 --> 01:32:09,959 Hmm. Sorry. Sorry. 2346 01:32:10,002 --> 01:32:12,004 All right, come on. 2347 01:32:12,048 --> 01:32:13,832 Let's get this road trip started! 2348 01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:15,399 We're waiting for you! -I love you. 2349 01:32:15,442 --> 01:32:17,532 -Bye. -Okay. 2350 01:32:17,575 --> 01:32:19,534 Oh, hold on. Let me take a video. 2351 01:32:30,109 --> 01:32:32,372 -I love you. I love you. 2352 01:32:32,416 --> 01:32:33,983 Bye, Mom. 2353 01:32:34,026 --> 01:32:35,506 I love you. Okay, bye. 2354 01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:36,942 -Mwah! See you. 2355 01:32:36,986 --> 01:32:38,814 Drop Julie off in Cali, and then you and Kayla 2356 01:32:38,857 --> 01:32:40,293 -come right back home. -That's a, a big maybe. 2357 01:32:40,337 --> 01:32:41,730 -And text, please. Please. Hey. 2358 01:32:41,773 --> 01:32:43,340 Take care of my mom, you two, okay? 2359 01:32:43,383 --> 01:32:44,994 We will. All right. Later, big guy. 2360 01:32:45,037 --> 01:32:46,865 -Bye, Dad. -I'm going to college! -Bye! 2361 01:32:46,909 --> 01:32:48,563 Drive careful, young man. That's precious cargo. 2362 01:32:48,606 --> 01:32:50,260 Love you! 2363 01:32:51,391 --> 01:32:53,002 -Aw. -Come on. 2364 01:32:53,045 --> 01:32:54,481 -Guys. -Come on. We did it. 2365 01:32:54,525 --> 01:32:56,614 We did it. We did it. 2366 01:32:56,658 --> 01:32:57,876 -We parented. 2367 01:32:57,920 --> 01:32:59,661 -We did it. -We did it. 2368 01:33:01,314 --> 01:33:04,622 -Oh, it's Julie. 2369 01:33:04,666 --> 01:33:06,972 Oh, I must have been accidentally added to the... 2370 01:33:07,016 --> 01:33:08,626 the group conversation. 2371 01:33:08,670 --> 01:33:10,628 -Oh, well, should probably leave. -What's, uh... 2372 01:33:10,672 --> 01:33:12,325 "Can't-can't believe we're on our own now." 2373 01:33:12,369 --> 01:33:13,544 -Aw, that's sweet. -Yeah. 2374 01:33:13,588 --> 01:33:15,328 "We're gonna get lit af." 2375 01:33:15,372 --> 01:33:16,939 "Lit A.F." 2376 01:33:16,982 --> 01:33:18,897 -That's not great. 2377 01:33:18,941 --> 01:33:20,682 No, it's... they're gonna get literature. African literature. 2378 01:33:20,725 --> 01:33:22,509 You think that's what "lit A.F." means? 2379 01:33:22,553 --> 01:33:24,207 You think they're talking to each other about, like... 2380 01:33:24,250 --> 01:33:25,861 -"Lit A.F." -"Can The Chef get us..." 2381 01:33:25,904 --> 01:33:27,123 Trees? What the hell's trees? 2382 01:33:27,166 --> 01:33:28,777 Trees mean weed. I told you that. 2383 01:33:28,820 --> 01:33:30,605 -Mushrooms, pills. No, the pills are... 2384 01:33:30,648 --> 01:33:31,780 Kayla's allergy. That's Claritin. 2385 01:33:31,823 --> 01:33:32,868 It's not Claritin. Look. 2386 01:33:32,911 --> 01:33:34,086 Snowflakes. That's blow. 2387 01:33:34,130 --> 01:33:35,740 "#NoParentsNoRules. 2388 01:33:35,784 --> 01:33:39,439 #MadDrugs. #NoCondoms." 2389 01:33:39,483 --> 01:33:41,050 Why would they hashtag that? 2390 01:33:41,093 --> 01:33:43,182 Wait, I'm sorry. Is that a needle and an eggplant? 2391 01:33:43,226 --> 01:33:46,577 What, are they gonna inject heroin into some guy's dick? 2392 01:33:46,621 --> 01:33:47,709 -Let's go. -Let's get in the car. 2393 01:33:47,752 --> 01:33:49,188 -I'll drive. -I'm sitting behind you. 2394 01:33:49,232 --> 01:33:50,929 -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2395 01:33:50,973 --> 01:33:52,061 We're just messing with you. 2396 01:33:52,104 --> 01:33:53,062 Ha-ha! 2397 01:33:54,498 --> 01:33:56,456 "We love you guys. Don't worry." 2398 01:33:57,849 --> 01:34:00,896 You guys were so pranked! I was in on it. 2399 01:34:00,939 --> 01:34:02,724 -You didn't know. -No, no, I did. I didn't know it was 2400 01:34:02,767 --> 01:34:04,421 coming right now. That's why I kind of sold it so well. 2401 01:34:04,464 --> 01:34:05,683 But it doesn't matter. 2402 01:34:05,727 --> 01:34:08,077 But you guys were like, "Holy shit!" 2403 01:34:08,120 --> 01:34:09,513 -Yeah. -Whew. 2404 01:34:09,556 --> 01:34:12,603 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2405 01:34:12,647 --> 01:34:15,475 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2406 01:34:15,519 --> 01:34:17,521 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2407 01:34:17,564 --> 01:34:19,001 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2408 01:34:19,044 --> 01:34:21,525 ♪ Feelin' good as hell... 2409 01:34:27,313 --> 01:34:28,967 Damn it, Mitchell. 2410 01:34:29,011 --> 01:34:30,534 Marco. 2411 01:34:31,753 --> 01:34:32,797 Polo. 2412 01:34:32,841 --> 01:34:34,625 I... 2413 01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,583 Mitchell, are you getting a snack? 2414 01:34:38,455 --> 01:34:40,283 I'm so glad we can do stuff like this 2415 01:34:40,326 --> 01:34:41,632 now that Kayla's in college. 2416 01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:44,026 I have no idea where you are. 2417 01:34:44,069 --> 01:34:46,550 I'm gonna do so much stuff to you when I find you. 2418 01:34:46,593 --> 01:34:48,465 -Oh, oh. -Marco. 2419 01:34:48,508 --> 01:34:49,771 -Polo. -Ah, ah. 2420 01:34:49,814 --> 01:34:51,120 -Polo! 2421 01:34:51,163 --> 01:34:52,599 I can't believe you! It took forever! 2422 01:34:52,643 --> 01:34:54,471 I spent so much time on the stairs. 2423 01:34:54,514 --> 01:34:56,081 -We're doing this. -We're, like, totally doing it. 2424 01:34:56,125 --> 01:34:57,735 -I know. It's hot. -Let's just get crazy. 2425 01:34:57,779 --> 01:34:58,736 -I don't know. 2426 01:34:58,780 --> 01:35:00,129 I want you to grab my balls, 2427 01:35:00,172 --> 01:35:01,783 like Ron likes it, like, uh... like, hard. 2428 01:35:04,655 --> 01:35:06,526 ♪ Ooh, child, tired of the bullshit ♪ 2429 01:35:06,570 --> 01:35:08,224 ♪ Go on, dust your shoulders off ♪ 2430 01:35:08,267 --> 01:35:09,791 ♪ Keep it moving 2431 01:35:09,834 --> 01:35:11,880 ♪ Yes, Lord, trying to get some new shit ♪ 2432 01:35:11,923 --> 01:35:14,317 ♪ In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit ♪ 2433 01:35:14,360 --> 01:35:16,232 ♪ Come now, come dry your eyes ♪ 2434 01:35:16,275 --> 01:35:18,669 ♪ You know you a star, you can touch the sky ♪ 2435 01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:21,324 ♪ I know that it's hard, but you have to try ♪ 2436 01:35:21,367 --> 01:35:24,327 ♪ If you need advice, let me simplify ♪ 2437 01:35:24,370 --> 01:35:29,158 ♪ If he don't love you anymore ♪ 2438 01:35:29,201 --> 01:35:33,510 ♪ Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2439 01:35:33,553 --> 01:35:36,774 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2440 01:35:36,818 --> 01:35:39,429 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2441 01:35:39,472 --> 01:35:41,866 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2442 01:35:41,910 --> 01:35:45,043 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2443 01:35:45,087 --> 01:35:46,828 ♪ Feelin' good as hell 2444 01:35:46,871 --> 01:35:48,003 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2445 01:35:48,046 --> 01:35:49,613 ♪ Feelin' good as hell 2446 01:35:49,656 --> 01:35:51,702 ♪ Whoo, girl, need to kick off your shoes ♪ 2447 01:35:51,746 --> 01:35:54,052 ♪ Gotta take a deep breath, time to focus on you ♪ 2448 01:35:54,096 --> 01:35:56,620 ♪ All the big fights, long nights that you been through ♪ 2449 01:35:56,663 --> 01:35:59,405 ♪ I got a bottle of tequila I've been saving for you ♪ 2450 01:35:59,449 --> 01:36:01,320 ♪ Boss up and change your life ♪ 2451 01:36:01,364 --> 01:36:03,714 ♪ You can have it all, no sacrifice ♪ 2452 01:36:03,758 --> 01:36:06,021 ♪ I know he did you wrong, we can make it right ♪ 2453 01:36:06,064 --> 01:36:09,372 ♪ So go and let it all hang out tonight ♪ 2454 01:36:09,415 --> 01:36:14,072 ♪ 'Cause he don't love you anymore ♪ 2455 01:36:14,116 --> 01:36:18,337 ♪ So walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2456 01:36:18,381 --> 01:36:21,819 ♪ And do your hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2457 01:36:21,863 --> 01:36:24,343 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2458 01:36:24,387 --> 01:36:26,171 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2459 01:36:26,215 --> 01:36:28,086 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2460 01:36:28,130 --> 01:36:29,871 -♪ Feelin' good as hell -♪ Shine on tonight 2461 01:36:29,914 --> 01:36:31,829 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2462 01:36:31,873 --> 01:36:34,527 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2463 01:36:34,571 --> 01:36:36,791 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2464 01:36:36,834 --> 01:36:40,142 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2465 01:36:41,621 --> 01:36:44,276 ♪ Mmm, yeah 2466 01:36:45,495 --> 01:36:47,845 ♪ All right 2467 01:36:47,889 --> 01:36:49,325 ♪ Listen 2468 01:36:49,368 --> 01:36:54,243 ♪ If he don't love you anymore ♪ 2469 01:36:54,286 --> 01:37:00,597 ♪ Then walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2470 01:37:00,640 --> 01:37:04,383 ♪ And do your hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2471 01:37:04,427 --> 01:37:06,646 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2472 01:37:06,690 --> 01:37:08,866 -♪ Whoo-hoo... -♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2473 01:37:08,910 --> 01:37:10,825 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2474 01:37:10,868 --> 01:37:12,609 -♪ Feelin' good as hell -♪ Shine on tonight 2475 01:37:12,652 --> 01:37:14,524 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2476 01:37:14,567 --> 01:37:17,179 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2477 01:37:17,222 --> 01:37:19,398 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails 2478 01:37:19,442 --> 01:37:22,358 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2479 01:37:22,401 --> 01:37:24,316 ♪ Feelin' good as hell 2480 01:37:24,360 --> 01:37:25,752 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2481 01:37:25,796 --> 01:37:28,190 ♪ Feelin' good as hell. 2482 01:37:28,233 --> 01:37:30,148 ♪ 2483 01:38:00,265 --> 01:38:02,180 ♪ 2484 01:38:32,297 --> 01:38:34,212 ♪ 2485 01:39:04,329 --> 01:39:06,244 ♪ 2486 01:39:36,361 --> 01:39:38,276 ♪ 2487 01:40:08,393 --> 01:40:10,308 ♪ 2488 01:40:40,425 --> 01:40:42,340 ♪ 2489 01:41:12,457 --> 01:41:14,372 ♪ 176416

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