All language subtitles for Desperate.Housewives.S04E10.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+.5.1.x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

PREVIOUSLY ON...

THE ACCOUNTANT'S DROPPING OFF
THE PAPERS

FOR MY CAYMAN ISLAND ACCOUNT.
THIS IS EVERYTHING YOU NEED
TO ACCESS THE MONEY.

EDIE GOT AN OPPORTUNITY...
LET GO!

BUT LOST IT.
(both screaming)

MIKE...

YOU WILL GO TO REHAB,
OR SO HELP ME, I WILL LEAVE YOU.

MADE A PROMISE.
I'LL GO.

I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT WHAT WE COVERED UP.

KATHERINE'S AUNT WAS DETERMINED
TO REVEAL THE TRUTH...

AND VICTOR...
UHH!

WAS A VICTIM OF THE TORNADO...
UHH!

THAT BROUGHT DEVASTATION...
OH, MY GOD!

(screaming)

...TO WISTERIA LANE.

(Mary Alice)
ONCE THE TORNADO HAD PASSED,

IT BEGAN.

A MAN GAVE HIS COAT
TO A STRANGER IN NEED...

A WOMAN SHARED HER FOOD
WITH THOSE JUST PASSING BY....

A TEENAGER REUNITED A DOG
WITH ITS WORRIED OWNER.

THESE ARE
THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN

IN THE WAKE
OF ANY GREAT DISASTER.

PEOPLE START TO PERFORM
SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS.

(police radio chatter)

THEY DO WHAT THEY CAN TO HELP,

ALL THE WHILE KNOWING...

(siren wailing)

IT WON'T BE ENOUGH.

(crowd speaking indistinctly)

WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?
THEY SHOULD BE GOING FASTER.

THE FIRE CAPTAIN SAID
THEY HAVE TO GO SLOWLY.

THEY DON'T WANT DEBRIS SUDDENLY
COLLAPSING INTO THE BASEMENT.

HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM GABY?

UH, SHE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL
WITH CARLOS.

HE WAS PRETTY BANGED UP,
BUT THEY SAY HE'S GONNA BE OKAY.
THANK GOD.

WHY CAN'T WE HEAR THEM?

IF MY KIDS ARE ALIVE,
THEY WOULD BE YELLING.

(voice breaks)
TOM WOULD BE YELLING.

OKAY, LYNETTE, LISTEN TO ME.

THEY ARE ALL GOING TO BE FINE.
I KNOW IT.

OKAY. YOU REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY THINK SO?

YES, YES, I DO. I DO.

SO I WANT YOU TO GO OVER
TO THOSE PARAMEDICS,

AND I WANT YOU TO LET THEM
LOOK AT THESE CUTS.

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE ALL BLOODY

WHEN THEY PULL YOUR KIDS
OUT OF THERE, DO YOU?

NO. NO, I GUESS NOT.
(sniffles) OKAY.

(helicopter whirring,
siren wailing)

(man shouting indistinctly)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT?

YOU DON'T KNOW IF HER KIDS
ARE GONNA BE OKAY.

I'M JUST TRYING
TO COMFORT HER.

BY GIVING HER FALSE HOPE?

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO?

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE SAYING,
"LYNETTE, THIS COULD END BADLY.

SO YOU SHOULD START PREPARING
YOURSELF FOR THAT NOW."
EDIE, IF YOU SAY THAT
TO LYNETTE,

SO HELP ME GOD,
I WILL WRING YOUR NECK.

AND I WILL HELP HER.

TOM AND IDA AND THE KIDS
ARE BURIED UNDER THAT RUBBLE.

I MEAN, WHAT IS IT
WITH YOU PEOPLE?

WHY AREN'T YOU WILLING
TO FACE THE FACTS?

BECAUSE WE'RE HOPING
FOR A MIRACLE.

A MIRACLE?

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,
IF WE STOP FLAPPING OUR GUMS,

AND WE START ASKING GOD
TO TAKE CARE OF OUR FOLKS,

HE MIGHT JUST HELP US OUT.

SO YOU THINK A PRAYER CIRCLE
IS GOING TO HELP LYNETTE?

ONCE YOU GET TO MY AGE,
YOU'LL FIND IT A LOT EASIER

TO BELIEVE THAT GOD
REALLY DOES ANSWER PRAYERS.

SO IF YOU CAN JUST HANG ON
TWO MORE YEARS...
DON'T.

YOU KNOW,
MAYBE A MOMENT OF SILENCE

WOULDN'T BE
SUCH A BAD IDEA.

HEY, GUYS! WE GOT SOMEONE!

(crowd murmuring)
(woman) OH!

HI!

(applause)

COME ON. UHH!

MOM!

MOM!

(sighs)

MOM!
MOM!

(Lynette) OH, MY GOD! OH!
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

(man) HOLD ON. HOLD OFF!

COME ON, TOM.

(man shouts indistinctly)

(man) WAIT. WAIT.

(groans)
GRAB THE ARM.
GRAB THE ARM.

(man) HERE HE COMES.
(sighs)

(sighs)

STRAIGHT AHEAD, SIR.
GO AHEAD. RIGHT OVER THERE.

(whispers) THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.

(man)
GOT A LIGHT DOWN THERE?

WHERE'S IDA?

TOM! WHERE'S IDA?

YES, IN THE WAKE
OF A GREAT TRAGEDY,

PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY CAN
TO HELP...

ALL THE WHILE KNOWING...

IT WON'T BE ENOUGH.

LYNETTE.

THE MORNING AFTER THE TORNADO,

THE RESIDENTS OF WISTERIA LANE

BEGAN TO SORT
THROUGH THE DEVASTATION

AND SLOWLY STARTED PICKING UP
THE PIECES OF THEIR LIVES.

(man)
IT'S THERE BY THE NORTH SIDE!

BOB HUNTER
FOUND PART OF HIS FOUNTAIN

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.

BREE HODGE FOUND HER LAWN MOWER
NEXT TO HER COFFEE TABLE.

AND KAYLA SCAVO DISCOVERED
HER MUSIC BOX IN A TREE...

AMONG...

OTHER THINGS.

SHE HAD YOUR ADDRESS
IN HER POCKET,

BUT THERE WAS NO OTHER I.D.

DID YOU KNOW HER?

SORT OF.
HER NAME IS SYLVIA GREENE.

IS SHE LOCAL?

I KNEW HER FROM CHICAGO.

SHE WAS...

VISITING.

OKAY, I GUESS
THAT'S ALL WE NEED.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO FOLLOW UP WITH YOU

AFTER WE CONTACT THE FAMILY?
NO.

(door opens)

SO...
(door shuts)

I GUESS THIS MEANS
IT'S OVER.

THE FACT THAT SHE IS DEAD

DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT
THAT YOU SLEPT WITH HER.

I KNOW IT DOESN'T.

I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE,
AND I AM SO SORRY, KATHERINE.

I'M SURE YOU ARE.

I WANT YOU
OUT OF MY HOUSE TONIGHT.

YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

YES, I DO. IT'S OVER.
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

YOU COULD BE LYING ON THAT SLAB
RIGHT NEXT TO HER.

(door opens)

(whirring)

(turns vacuum off)

COME ON, IDA. YOU CAN
WATCH US PACK FROM UP HERE.

WOW. THE THINGS YOU ACCUMULATE
IN A LIFETIME, HUH?

YEAH, ESPECIALLY
IF YOU NEVER THROW ANYTHING OUT.

(laughs)
SO HER NIECE AND NEPHEW

ARE TAKING ALL THIS STUFF
BACK TO NEBRASKA?

WELL, THE STUFF
THAT'LL SELL ON eBay.

I'M GUESSING THE REST
WILL END UP IN A DUMPSTER.

WHAT'S ALL THIS BASEBALL STUFF?
THERE'S A MITT AND A JERSEY.

WAS THIS HER HUSBAND'S?

NO, THAT WAS IDA'S
FROM HER PRO BASEBALL DAYS.

YEAH, RIGHT.

YEAH.

OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS?

IDA PLAYED
IN THE ALL-AMERICAN GIRLS LEAGUE

DURING WORLD WAR II.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?
NO.

OH, SHE WAS A SUPERSTAR.
ARM LIKE A CANNON.

PEOPLE SAID SHE COULD THROW
A PORKCHOP PAST A HUNGRY WOLF.

IDA?

I HAVE TROUBLE SEEING HER
AS THE LEADOFF HITTER

FOR ANYTHING
OTHER THAN OSTEOPOROSIS.

SHE MADE THE ONLY UNASSISTED
TRIPLE PLAY IN LEAGUE HISTORY...

RIGHT HERE
IN GRANVILLE FIELD, 1944.

THAT'S WHY SHE WANTS HER ASHES
SCATTERED THERE.

(front door opens)
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?

(door shuts)

DADDY SAID YOU WERE OVER HERE.
CAN I HELP?

OH. (makes kissing sounds)

YOU REALIZE WE'RE CLEANING,
RIGHT? WE'RE NOT EATING CANDY.

THAT'S SWEET, PARKER,

BUT WE'VE GOT EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL HERE

IF YOU WANT TO GO PLAY.

NO, I WANT TO DO SOMETHING NICE
FOR MRS. GREENBERG.

SHE SORT OF SAVED MY LIFE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN THE HOUSE
STARTED SHAKING,

AND DADDY WAS PASSED OUT
BY HIS ASTHMA...

MRS. GREENBERG MADE US
ALL GO UNDER THE STAIRS.

BUT THAT'S NOT
WHERE THEY FOUND HER.

YEAH.

THERE WASN'T ENOUGH ROOM
FOR HER.

SHE SAID SHE'D BE OKAY
IN THE CORNER.

UH, PARKER,
YOU WANT TO HELP?

IDA HAS SOME ICE CREAM
IN THE FREEZER THAT NEEDS EATING

BEFORE IT GOES BAD.
GO ON.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,
BUT DON'T.

IF YOU'D BEEN THERE, IT WOULDN'T
HAVE MADE A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.

SUSAN,
WE CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.

OPENING YOUR HOME TO US--
IT'S SO GENEROUS.
IT'S A HORRIBLE FEELING

TO LITERALLY NOT HAVE A ROOF
OVER YOUR HEAD,

AND THAT SMOKY FLEABAG HOTEL
JUST WASN'T SAFE FOR A NEWBORN.

PLEASE, THIS IS
WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO...

RIGHT BEFORE
THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDS.

WHY DID YOU AGREE
TO LET HER STAY?
HOW DO YOU SAY NO
TO SOMEONE IN NEED?

THAT WASN'T RHETORICAL.
SERIOUSLY, YOU GOT ANYTHING?

I KNOW YOU FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE
SHE LET US STAY WITH HER ONCE,

BUT DON'T YOU REMEMBER
HOW MISERABLE WE WERE?
OH, YEAH.
EVERY CUP NEEDS A COASTER.

EVERY COASTER NEEDS
A DOILY.

EVERY DOILY
NEEDS DAILY LAUNDERING.

THIS WOMAN IS GONNA DRIVE ME OUT
OF MY FRICKIN'--HEY, ROOMIES.

YOU NEED HELP?
(Orson) NO,
WE'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

OH, AND, UH, LISTEN.

BOB AND LEE INTRODUCED US
TO THIS WONDERFUL CONTRACTOR,

SO WE WON'T BE IMPOSING
FOR LONG.
IMPOSING. WHO'S IMPOSING?

YOU CAN STAY AS LONG
AS YOU WANT.

I'M SORRY.
THE WORDS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH

BEFORE I KNEW WHAT I WAS SAYING.
THEN STOP TALKING,
AND DON'T BE SO NICE.

OTHERWISE, SHE'LL JUST
TAKE THE PLACE OVER.

(Bree) HEY, SUSAN, ORSON LIKES
TO SLEEP WITH THE WINDOW OPEN.

DO YOU MIND
IF WE REARRANGE THE FURNITURE?

(whispers) NO.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

(organ playing hymn)

HELLO, GABRIELLE.

MILTON. HI.

IT'S A NICE TURNOUT.
(music stops)

VICTOR WAS LOVED
BY A LOT OF PEOPLE.

IT'S GONNA BE
A VERY EMOTIONAL DAY.

YOU SEEM REMARKABLY COMPOSED.

OH, NO, NO. I'M A MESS--

YOU KNOW, ON THE INSIDE,
WHERE THE MASCARA CAN'T RUN.

AH, I SEE.

THE READING OF THE WILL
IS TODAY.

IS IT? I'D FORGOTTEN.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE CURIOUS
AS TO HOW MUCH YOU'LL INHERIT.

NO. I'M NOT THINKING
ABOUT MONEY TODAY.

I'M BURYING MY HUSBAND.

OF COURSE.

IT'S JUST, I, UH...

SPOKE TO THE EXECUTOR
OF THE WILL,

AND I HAVE A BALLPARK FIGURE
OF WHAT YOU'LL BE GETTING.

(man coughs)

OH?

WELL, I GUESS
THERE'S NOTHING DISRESPECTFUL

ABOUT A BALLPARK FIGURE.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING A DIME.

VICTOR SHOWED ME THE PHOTOGRAPHS
OF YOU AND YOUR EX-HUSBAND.

YOU BROKE HIS HEART.

YOU HUMILIATED HIM.

SO YOU'LL INHERIT EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DESERVE--NOTHING.

OKAY, I MADE A MISTAKE.

I'M SORRY, BUT VICTOR
WASN'T ENTIRELY BLAMELESS.

HE IGNORED ME.
HE USED ME POLITICALLY.

OH, YEAH,
AND HE TRIED TO KILL CARLOS.

SO I THINK I'M ENTITLED
TO WHATEVER HE HAD.

AH, THERE'S THE THING.

YOU MARRIED A MAN
FROM A VERY RICH FAMILY--

THE OPERATIVE WORD
BEING "FAMILY."

EVERYTHING'S IN MY NAME...
ALWAYS WAS.

(organ resumes playing)

THE SERVICE IS STARTING.

I THINK
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO.

GO? YOU CAN'T KICK ME
OUT OF MY HUSBAND'S FUNERAL.

I THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE,
GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

GO TO HELL.

I'LL BE DELIVERING
THE EULOGY.

IF YOU'RE STILL IN THIS PEW
WHEN I REACH THE PULPIT,

I'M GOING TO BE TELLING
ALL OF THESE PEOPLE

THAT YOU ARE
A CHEATING, LYING WHORE.

SEE?

I TOLD YOU IT WAS
GONNA BE AN EMOTIONAL DAY.

(guests murmuring)

(hammering in distance)

HELLO, BOYS.

BOB, LEE, I BAKED YOU
SOME MUFFINS TO THANK YOU

FOR INTRODUCING ME
TO WALTER HERE.

AND, WALTER, I DECIDED
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

DARK SHINGLES
ARE THE WAY TO GO.

WHY ARE YOU ALL STARING AT ME?

I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO FIX YOUR HOUSE.
WHAT?

I'VE JUST HAD SOME BAD NEWS
IN MY PERSONAL LIFE.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS.
I HOPE NO ONE'S DIED,

WHICH IS THE ONLY
POSSIBLE EXCUSE I'D ACCEPT.

NO, IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S JUST...

I DON'T WANT
TO GET INTO IT.

WALTER, I CAN'T FIND
A CONTRACTOR NOW.

EVERYBODY IS BOOKED
FOR THE NEXT YEAR.

I'M SORRY.

WALTER. WALTER. WALTER,
I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE.

I'M LIVING LIKE A VAGABOND
IN A TEENAGE GIRL'S BEDROOM.

I'M SLEEPING UNDER A POSTER
OF ORLANDO BLOOM.

YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME.

YEAH, WELL,
SOMETIMES PEOPLE DO THAT.

THEY JUST LEAVE.

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WALTER WENT THROUGH
A BAD BREAKUP,

AND TODAY HE FOUND OUT THAT HIS
EX MOVED IN WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

OH, FOR GOD SAKES. TELL HIM
TO PUT ON HIS BIG BOY PANTS

AND FIND ANOTHER GIRL.
WHO SAYS IT'S A GIRL?

WALTER'S GAY?

YES. HE CAN BUILD HOMES
ANDDECORATE THEM.

SOMETIMES GOD GIVES
WITH BOTH HANDS.

WELL, THEN YOU JUST HAVE
TO FIX HIM UP WITH SOMEONE,

GIVE HIM BACK
HIS WILL TO WORK.
(groans)

YEAH, ABOUT THAT--
UH, MOST OF OUR FRIENDS ARE 9s,

AND WALTER--WE LOVE HIM--
BUT KIND OF A 3.

AND IN THE GAY WORLD,
3 DOES NOT GO INTO 9.

WELL,
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND HIM

SOMEONE WHO'S NOT GOOD
AT GAY MATH.

WELL, I DROVE
ALL THE WAY OUT THERE,

AND I WAITED FOR HOURS

AND THEN THEY WOULDN'T
LET ME SEE HIM.

UH, NO. THEY JUST SAID THAT
I SHOULD--I SHOULD CALL YOU.

(keys hit ground)

LISTEN,
I KNOW IT'S A 30-DAY REHAB.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BREAK HIM OUT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO SEE HIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT? COULD YOU
JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU KNOW?

THANK YOU.

(sniffles)

(classical music playing)

(sighs) WELCOME TO HEAVEN.

DON'T TALK. I'M SMELLING.

WHAT IS THAT?

DUCK A L'ORANGE. BREE SAYS
IT'S MAKING A COMEBACK.

AND OUR OVEN
IS MAKING ITS DEBUT.

OH, IT GETS BETTER.

SHE DID OUR LAUNDRY, TOO.

SMELL MY SOCK.
OH.

OH, MY GOD!

(sniffs)
I WANT TO EAT THAT.

(laughs)
SHE DUSTS. SHE IRONS.

OH, AND SHE DOES
THIS MAGIC TRICK.

NO MATTER WHERE
YOU THROW YOUR SWEATER,

WITHIN SECONDS,
IT'S ON A HANGER.
THIS HAS JUST REPLACED
YOUR BIRTH

AS THE BEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.

OH, HI, SUSAN. I HOPE YOU
DON'T MIND THAT I MADE DINNER.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
THAT I'M GOING TO KISS YOU.
OOH. YOU'RE FUNNY.

NOW I NEED YOU TO BE HONEST
ABOUT THIS RECIPE.

IT'S A DRY RUN

FOR A SMALL DINNER PARTY
I'M HAVING TOMORROW NIGHT.

AGAIN, IF YOU DON'T MIND.
NOT AT ALL.

IN--IN FACT, IF YOU WANNA
DO A DRY RUN FOR SUNDAY BRUNCH,

I'M THERE FOR YOU.
DINNER WILL BE READY SHORTLY.

OH, AND, JULIE, I FIXED THE HEM
ON THAT BLUE SKIRT OF YOURS.

IT'S ON YOUR BED.

MY HEM IS FIXED? SHE'S LIKE
THE MOTHER I NEVER HAD.

OH, OH, NO OFFENSE.

OH, NONE TAKEN.
(laughs)

(woman speaking indistinctly
over PA)

(monitor beeping steadily)

HEY.

HOW YOU FEELING?

UH, NOT SO GREAT.

WELL, THEY SHOULD GIVE YOU
SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN.

THEY GAVE ME THIS BUTTON
THAT I CAN PRESS,

BUT I'M TRYING
NOT TO USE IT,

'CAUSE THE DRUGS MAKE ME FEEL
A LITTLE TO MELLOW. (groans)

WAS THE FUNERAL SAD?

TRAGIC.

I FOUND OUT EVERYTHING
VICTOR HAD IS IN MILTON'S NAME,

AND HE TOLD HIS FATHER ABOUT US,
SO I'M NOT GETTING A PENNY.

WOW.

WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING

YOU HOOKED UP
WITH ANOTHER RICH GUY.

(groans)

(chuckles nervously)

YEAH...

UH...

GABY, YOU SOUND WEIRD.

WHY DO YOU SOUND
SO WEIRD?

GABY.

UM, REMEMBER THAT DAY,

UH...

WHEN AL WAS GOING TO DROP OFF
THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION?

OH, MY GOD. HE DIDN'T?

NO, NO, NO. HE DID.

IT'S JUST... REMEMBER
HOW WINDY IT WAS THAT DAY?

NO, NO, NO.
THAT WAS THE ONLY COPY.

I KNOW,

BUT EDIE WAS TRYING TO STEAL
THE PAPERS FROM ME,

AND WE GOT INTO THIS FIGHT,

AND THEN THE TORNADO
JUST TOOK THEM AWAY.

THEY'RE GONE?

KINDA.
(clicking)

OH.

WHAT IS THAT SOUND?

I'M TEXTING SOMEONE.

GABY, THAT ACCOUNT WAS
OUR FUTURE.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
SHH. CARLOS,
JUST CALM DOWN, OKAY?

I'M SURE AL HAS
AN ACCESS CODE OR A COPY

OR SOME SUPER NERD WAY TO GET
BACK INTO THE ACCOUNT, OKAY?

I KNOW WE CAN FIX THIS.

YEAH.

(breathy voice)
YEAH, HE COULD FIX IT.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT,
YOU LOOK VERY TIRED,

SO I'M JUST GONNA GO.

BUT I'M WARNING YOU, GABY,
IF WE DON'T FIND THOSE PAPERS,

SO HELP ME, I'M...
AHH.

(woman speaking indistinctly
over PA)

HI. UM,
I'M A FRIEND OF AL'S,

AND I WAS WONDERING
IF I COULD SEE HIM.

OF COURSE. PLEASE COME IN.

THANKS.

RIGHT THIS WAY.
OKAY.

(indistinct conversations)

(sighs)

OH, AL.

(man)
THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR HELP.

WELL, WE'D DO ANYTHING
FOR YOUR AUNT.

I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT AN AMAZING WOMAN SHE WAS.

UH-HUH. HEY, DID YOU GUYS
HAPPEN TO FIND A PEARL NECKLACE?

IT'S THE ONLY VALUABLE THING
AUNT IDA OWNED.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I HAVE IT.

YEAH, SHE PROMISED IT TO ME
IF SHE KICKED THE BUCKET FIRST.

OH, REALLY? IN--IN WRITING?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S HIT THE ROAD.

WHAT ABOUT
THE REST OF THESE BOXES?

OH, THAT'S JUNK. YOU CAN
JUST GIVE 'EM AWAY. HEY, LISTEN.

IS THERE A GOOD PLACE WE CAN
GRAB A BITE ON THE WAY OUT?

UM, WELL, THERE'S A GREAT DINER
RIGHT NEAR GRANVILLE FIELD.

OH. ISN'T THAT--
ISN'T THAT OUT OF THE WAY?
YEAH, BUT AREN'T YOU

STOPPING THERE ANYWAY
TO SPREAD YOUR AUNT'S ASHES?

WE'RE KINDA PRESSED
FOR TIME.
YEAH, WE THOUGHT
WE'D JUST PUT HER

IN THE FAMILY PLOT
BACK IN OMAHA.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

IDA WANTED HER ASHES
SCATTERED AT THE FIELD.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT THAT'S
KINDA CRAZY, DON'T YOU THINK?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.
SHE WAS AN AMAZING WOMAN.

YOU SHOULD RESPECT
HER WISHES.

WE SHOULD GET GOING.

YEAH.
HEY, I-IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME
TO DO IT, I WILL.

UH, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE NOT FAMILY,

SO I THINK
THAT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE.

LOOK,
YOU'RE TAKING HER PEARLS.

THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS HONOR HER WISHES.

OKAY, AT THE RISK
OF BEING BITCHY,

THIS IS NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS,

SO COULD YOU PLEASE
JUST DROP IT?
FINE.
AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,

YOU PASSED BITCHY
TEN MINUTES AGO.

CARTER, GET THE URN.
I WANT TO GET OUTTA HERE.

WAIT!

YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT.
I'LL GET IT FOR YOU.

(blows)

OH.
BY THE WAY, I'M STAYING
AT IDA'S HOUSE FOR A WHILE

SINCE, YOU KNOW, MY HOUSE
IS A PILE OF RUBBLE.

OH, THAT'S SO SAD.
YOU'VE GOT A WEEK.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

(starts engine)

JUST PUT IT IN THE CUP HOLDER.

EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU AL'S WIFE?

I'M GABRIELLE LANG.

YOU'RE THE MAYOR'S WIFE.
OF COURSE I RECOGNIZE YOU.

SO I WAS SHOCKED
TO HEAR ABOUT AL.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I WAS SO DEVASTATED.

DIDN'T YOU JUST BURY
YOUR HUSBAND YESTERDAY?

THAT SUCKED, TOO.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO AL?

(voice breaks)
HE WAS DRIVING HOME,

TRYING TO BEAT THE STORM, AND HE
RAN INTO A DOWNED POWER LINE...

(crying) AND HIS CAR
BURST INTO FLAMES.

OH, SWEETIE, DON'T.

I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER AL
LIKE I DO--

AT HIS DESK,
WITH A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE,

SURROUNDED
BY ALL HIS FILES.

(clears throat) BY THE WAY,
WHEREARETHOSE FILES?

I CLEARED OUT HIS OFFICE.

OH, I BET THAT WAS HARD.

(sniffles)

SO WHERE'D YOU PUT 'EM?

IN THE GARAGE.

WHICH IS...

IN THE BACK.

(sniffles)

WELL, LOOK AT ME,
MONOPOLIZING THE WIDOW.

YOU GO MINGLE.
I'M GONNA GET YOU A CRACKER.

OHH.

(groans)

OH, CRAP.

WHY, GOD?!

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE?!

WHY, GOD?! WHY? WHY?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR LETTING US

TAKE OVER YOUR DINING ROOM.
PLEASE. THANK YOU
FOR MAKING US DINNER.

OH, YOU WILL BE SENDING UP
DESSERT LATER?
OH, SURE.

JUST, UH, LEAVE YOUR TRAYS
IN THE HALL WHEN YOU'RE READY.

(both giggle)

OH.

PUFF PASTRY?

THANK YOU.
OH, HERE IS
A NICE 12-YEAR-OLD SCOTCH

TO WASH THAT DOWN WITH.
UH, LOOK, IT'S NICE OF YOU
TO INVITE ME FOR DINNER,

BUT IF YOU'RE HOPING TO CHANGE
MY MIND ABOUT DOING YOUR ROOF,

I'M JUST--
I'M REALLY NOT UP TO IT.

NO. NO, NO, WALTER,

WE--WE JUST HEARD
ABOUT YOUR SITUATION

AND THOUGHT YOU COULD USE
A LITTLE COMPANY. THAT'S ALL.

YES, AND A NICE
HOME-COOKED MEAL.

TRUST ME, THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY
NO TRICKS UP OUR SLEEVE.

UH, I NOTICED THERE ARE
FOUR PLACE SETTINGS.

IS SOMEBODY JOINING US?

ALL RIGHT, I'M HERE.
WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M MOVING OUT.
IT'S BEEN A LITTLE WEIRD

STAYING IN THE GUEST ROOM
OF MY OWN HOUSE.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU AND MOM
WERE TRYING TO WORK STUFF OUT.

WE ARE.

IT'S JUST... YOUR MOM
THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE EASIER

IF WE GAVE OURSELVES
A LITTLE DISTANCE.

THEN WHY
DOESN'TSHEMOVE OUT?

DYLAN.

I'M SERIOUS. YOU CAN'T
LEAVE ME HERE ALONE WITH HER.

I'LL GO CRAZY.

HEY, COME ON. WE'RE GONNA SEE
EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.

WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS
HAVE TO WIN?

YEAH, I'M THINKING
OF STARTING MY TRIP IN PARIS.

TODD AND I TALKED ABOUT GOING
THERE, BUT NOW I'M THINKING

OF DOING IT MYSELF.

WALTER RECENTLY SPLIT UP
WITH HIS LIFE PARTNER TODD.

THEY WERE GAY.
SMALL WORLD, HUH?

HOW IS IT SMALL, EXACTLY?

ANDREW IS ALSO
AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL.

HE'S HERE, HE'S QUEER,
AND WE'RE USED TO IT.

SINCE WHEN?

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU TWO
HAVE IN COMMON? A LOVE OF BOOTS.

ANDREW HAS
SOME BEAUTIFUL BOOTS.

OH, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

THE FUN YOU TWO WOULD HAVE
IN THE BOOT SHOP.

UM, MOM, I'M GONNA TAKE
THESE BOWLS TO THE KITCHEN.

OH, THANKS, DEAR.

WITH YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M JUST TRYING
TO STAY OUT OF THE WAY

OF ALL THOSE SPARKS
THAT ARE FLYING.

SPARKS?
THE MAN'S TWICE MY AGE.

YES, BUT HE'S ALSO--

HE'S GOT A GREAT SENSE OF...

OKAY, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS
TO GET A GOOD CONTRACTOR?

OH, MY GOD!

AND POOR WALTER
JUST HAD HIS HEART BROKEN,

SO IF IT TAKES YOU BEING NICE
TO HIM TO GET OUR HOUSE FIXED,

THEN...
YOU'RE--YOU'RE PIMPING ME OUT
FOR A NEW ROOF?

AND WINDOWS.

BUT I AM NOT PIMPING YOU OUT.
I'M SIMPLY ASKING YOU

TO SHOW SOME KINDNESS
TO A LONELY MAN

WHO HAPPENS TO BE
AN EXCELLENT ROOFER.

LOOK, IF BY KINDNESS
YOU MEAN SEX--
WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
I WOULD NEVER SUGGEST THAT.

YOU CAN RAISE A MAN'S HOPES
WITHOUT SATISFYING THEM.

I'VE DONE IT ALL MY LIFE.
(utensil clatters)

ANDREW, I HAVE GOT
TO GET BACK INTO MY HOUSE,

AND YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

(sighs) FINE.

FOR YOU, I WILL FLIRT,

I WILL FLATTER,
AND I WILL CHARM.

(sighs) BLESS YOU.

AND IN EXCHANGE,

I EXPECT
A 60-INCH FLAT SCREEN TV.

FINE, AND IF YOU CAN
GET HIM TO COME IN

ON TIME AND UNDER BUDGET,
I'LL THROW IN SURROUND SOUND.

NO. THAT WALTER GUY
NEEDS TO STAY MISERABLE,

BECAUSE IF HE'S NOT,
HE'LL FIX HER ROOF,

AND THEN SHE'LL LEAVE US.
MOM, WE ALWAYS KNEW
THIS COULDN'T LAST FOREVER,

AND SHE'LL STILL BE HERE
ANOTHER WEEK OR TWO.

THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME.
SHE JUST STARTED

STENCILING THE KITCHEN, AND I
DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT THERE IS TALK
OF AN HERB GARDEN.

I'VE GOTTA STOP HER.
HOW?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'VE HAD
A TASTE OF IRONED PILLOWCASES,

AND I AM NOT GOING BACK.

(chuckles)

OH, WALTER, YOU GOT
A LITTLE RIGHT THERE.

OOH. THANK YOU.

(Andrew) YEAH.

HEY, EVERYBODY.
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT,

BUT THE SMELL OF THAT APPLE PIE
JUST MADE MY MOUTH WATER.

WELL, SAY NO MORE.
ONE SLICE COMING RIGHT UP.

OH, SUSAN DELFINO,
THIS IS WALTER BIERLICH.

(Orson) THIS IS SUSAN'S HOUSE.
SHE'S KIND ENOUGH TO TAKE US IN.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHTY. HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

(Orson clears throat)

OH. YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THAT...
HERE?

OH, I'M JUST GONNA VISIT
FOR A WHILE.

SO, ANDREW,
WE MISS YOU AROUND HERE,

BUT I BET YOU LOVE
HAVING YOUR OWN PLACE.

UH, YEAH.
IT'S--IT'S COOL.

OF--OF COURSE,
IT DOES GET LONELY.

IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE
STOP BY ONCE IN A WHILE.

OH, WELL, YOU'LL REEL
SOMEBODY IN. YOU ALWAYS DO.

(scoffs) YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
HIS LAST BOYFRIEND--JUSTIN.

HA! HE WAS SO HOT.

YOU REALLY HAD A THING

FOR THE YOUNG,
RIPPED MUSCLE BOYS, HUH?

UM...

HE DID AT ONE TIME,
BUT ANDREW'S OUTGROWN THAT.

HE REALIZED THE FOLLY
OF BEING SO SHALLOW.

EXACTLY, AND NOW, UM,
HIS TASTES HAVE GONE

TO THE MORE MATURE, CULTURED
TYPES, LIKE, UH, WALTER HERE.

OH!

THIS IS A FIX-UP?

WELL, I JUST--IT NEVER WOULD
HAVE OCCURRED TO ME, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE OF
THE VAST AGE DIFFERENCE.

BUT, HELL. WHY NOT?
LIFE IS SHORT.

CERTAINLY SHORTER
FOR WALTER.

SUSAN.
OH, NO, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I MEAN, I THINK IT'S GREAT.

YOU SHOULD GRAB LOVE
WHEREVER YOU CAN FIND IT.

WHO CARES IF YOUR FRIENDS THINK
THAT YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT?

OH, SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS
PIECE OF PIE UPSTAIRS TO JULIE?

NO, SHE'S RIGHT. THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT MY FRIENDS WOULD THINK.

WELL,
THEN YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS.
HEY, LISTEN. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GUY, AND IT
WOULD BE GREAT TO PARADE YOU

IN FRONT OF MY EX, BUT, UH,
THEN I'D BE USING YOU.
WELL, HE DOESN'T MIND.

NO, PARADE ME.
(chuckles nervously)

HE'S GOT A MESH TANK TOP THAT
WOULD BRING YOUR EX TO TEARS.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
AS TEMPTING AS THAT SOUNDS,

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST NOT READY
TO DATE, SO...

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR THE DINNER.

(front door opens)

(Bree) WALTER, WAIT!
(door shuts)

WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST BRING
THIS PIE UP TO JULIE.

YOU.

SIT.

(car doors open)

(doors shut)

SO IS SOMEONE
MEETING US HERE OR WHAT?

WELL, HERE'S THE THING.
I CALLED THE GENERAL MANAGER

TO ASK IF WE COULD SCATTER
THE ASHES HERE,

AND HE SAID
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

SO HOW ARE WE GETTING IN?

OH, LYNETTE.

HEY, YOU'VE ABETTED.
MIGHT AS WELL AID.

LEAVE US.

OKAY, I KNOW
THAT IT SOUNDS SELFISH,

BUT I DID WHAT I DID
BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO STAY.

(scoffs) WHY? I-I THOUGHT
YOU'D WANT YOUR HOUSE BACK.

WELL, YEAH, SURE, SOMEDAY,

BUT RIGHT NOW I JUST LOVE
HAVING YOU TAKE CARE OF ME.

ALL THE COOKING AND THE CLEANING
AND THE ALPHABETIZING...

IT'S HELPING ME FEEL

LIKE I'M NOT
JUST ABOUT TO FALL APART.

OH, SWEETIE, YOU'RE OKAY.

NO.

I'M PREGNANT,
AND MY HUSBAND'S IN REHAB,

AND THE ONLY REASON
I SEEM SANE

IS BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE, MAKING
MY HOUSE FEEL LIKE A HOME.

THIS IS A CONVERSATION
THAT COULD BENEFIT

FROM SOME HOMEMADE
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.

CAN I HAVE MILK, TOO?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(crickets chirping)

DO YOU MAYBE WANT
TO SAY SOMETHING FIRST?

OH, UH, YEAH, I GUESS SO.

OH. (mutters)

UM...

"DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE
AND WEEP.

"UM, I'M--I'M NOT THERE.
I DO NOT SLEEP.

"I AM A THOUSAND WINDS
THAT BLOW.

I AM...
THE DIAMOND GLINTS OF SNOW."

"I AM THE SUNLIGHT
ON RIPENED GRAIN.

I AM
THE GENTLE AUTUMN'S RAIN."

"DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE
AND CRY.

I AM NOT THERE.
I DID NOT DIE."

THAT WAS LOVELY.

LET'S DUMP HER.

AND TRY NOT
TO STAND DOWNWIND.

SHE PLAYED THIRD BASE,
RIGHT?
RIGHT. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

OH, MY GOODNESS.

WAIT. UH, SORRY.
SHORTSTOP.

OH, YEAH.

OKAY.

NO, ITWASTHIRD.

DAMN IT, KAREN.
I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDA.

(stadium lights clank loudly,
humming)

(man) OKAY, DON'T MOVE!

STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
AND SHOW ME YOUR HANDS.

(dog barks in distance)

(lowered voice)
OKAY, SPLIT UP,

AND I'LL MEET YOU
BACK AT THE CAR. GO!

HEY, HEY! RIGHT THERE!

OH!

LADY, GET BACK HERE!

OH. AAH!

COME ON. COME ON. UHH!

COME ON!

RUN, JANE DOE, RUN!

JUST GRAB HER!

HEY, STOP, HEY!

I GOT HER. COME ON.
(laughs)

(sighs) COME ON.

(panting)

SO WHEN I FINALLY CAME CLEAN,
HIS WIFE TOLD ME

SHE SHREDDED ANYTHING THAT HAD
TO DO WITH OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS.

SHE WAS PROTECTING AL.

(sighs)

SO WE'RE BROKE.

I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.

I-I KNOW THIS IS BAD,
BUT WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

WE'LL GET MARRIED AGAIN,

AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

FOR RICHER, FOR POORER,
RIGHT?

IN SICKNESS
AND IN HEALTH.

THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.

(kisses)

I'M GONNA GO DOWN
TO THE CAFETERIA

AND GET US
A COUPLE OF GINGER ALES

TO TOAST OUR FUTURE.

HEY, DOCTOR. HE'S LOOKING BETTER
AND BETTER EVERY DAY.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET,
HAVE YOU?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

CARLOS, I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED,
BUT GIVE HER SOME CREDIT.

SHE'S NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU
BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR SIGHT.

YOU DON'T KNOW GABY.

(car door shuts)

THANK GOD THOSE COPS
LET US OFF WITH A WARNING.

I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO MY THIRD STRIKE.

I'M JUST GLAD WE GAVE IDA
WHAT SHE WANTED.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING
YOU DID.

(grunts) THEN WHY DON'T I
FEEL BETTER?

I DON'T KNOW.
WHY DON'T YOU?

BECAUSE IT WASN'T ENOUGH,

NOT COMPARED
TO WHAT SHE DID FOR ME.

SHE SAVED MY KIDS.

SHE'S THIS AMAZING WOMAN,

AND I NEVER BOTHERED
TO GET TO KNOW HER,

SO, YEAH,
I SPRINKLED HER ASHES,

BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE

TO DO SOMETHING
BEFORESHE WAS ASHES.

THAT'S A LESSON WE ALL
GOTTA LEARN OVER AND OVER--

APPRECIATE PEOPLE
WHILE WE STILL GOT 'EM.

YEP.

THIRD STRIKE?

WHAT WERE THE FIRST TWO?

(chuckles)
IT'S A LONG STORY.

THAT REQUIRES A PITCHER OF BEER
AND A DARK BAR.

I GOT TIME FOR THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU STILL
DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU FOUND
A MOTEL ROOM.

I DID,

BUT I WANTED TO SET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT BEFORE I GO.

I'M NOT LEAVING
BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO.

I'M LEAVING
BECAUSE I'M WALKING OUT ON YOU.

OH, IS THAT
HOW WE'RE GONNA PLAY THIS?

FINE. WHATEVER.
YOU'RE LEAVING ME.

OH, YEAH, AND HERE'S WHY.

YOU BLAMED WHAT HAPPENED
ON YOUR EX-HUSBAND,

AND I BELIEVED YOU.

YOU TOLD ME
IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT,

AND NOW I FIND OUT
IT WAS YOURS.

WE'RE ABOUT EVEN
IN THE BETRAYAL DEPARTMENT NOW.

IN FACT...

I THINK YOU WIN.

(door opens and shuts)

IT HAD BEEN SEVEN DAYS

SINCE A TORNADO
DEVASTATED WISTERIA LANE,

AND THE RESIDENTS CONTINUED

TO PICK UP THE PIECES
OF THEIR LIVES.

SOME SALVAGED
PRECIOUS FRIENDSHIPS.

SOME UNCOVERED
COLORFUL HISTORIES.

OTHERS FOUND CHALLENGES
THEY HADN'T EXPECTED.

AND THEN...

THERE WAS ONE GIRL...

WHO STUMBLED UPON THE TRUTH

SHE'D LONG BEEN
SEARCHING FOR...

ONLY... TO WISH SHE HADN'T.

(gasping)