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Standby, two. Mix
through. Cue on two.
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The BBC has announced the appointment
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00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,400
of ex-Head of Olympic Deliveries Ian
Fletcher as its new Head of Values.
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00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,800
Time now for the Shipping Forecast.
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I mean, obviously, a royal visit at
any time would be a big thing for us,
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00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,350
but coming now...
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It's Monday at the BBC's
Central London Headquarters,
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New Broadcasting House
in Central London,
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and Head of Values, Ian Fletcher,
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is chairing an important meeting
of the Way Ahead Task Force.
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Anyway, the point is the relationship
between the BBC and the royal family
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is a very delicate and important
issue in all kinds of ways.
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But in the context of
charter renewal in 2016,
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00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,350
and, let's face it,
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this is a royal charter we're
talking about renewing here...
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Yay(!).. suddenly an occasion
like this starts to look like
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a really significant opportunity
for us to, you know, to...
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Yeah, basically, it's a huge
opportunity to not fuck it up.
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Well, I mean... Yes. Yes. Cool!
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Yes, no, brilliant. Brilliant.
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In his role as patron and future
heir to the environment,
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Prince Charles is due to
visit New Broadcasting House
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to present an award for the BBC as
the world's zero-energy broadcaster.
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Can I just say, Ian, that we
have been in regular contact
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with the comms people
at Clarence House?
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Right, well, this is
good, cos it's important
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to get the fine detail of this
thing right, right from the start.
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Apparently, the key thing
is, whatever you do,
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you absolutely must not
touch him. No, sure.
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Yes. Unless he touches you first.
The fact is that's true.
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No, sure, I'm totally good
with that. Right, good.
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Also we have to lock
down a special toilet
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for three days in advance
before he actually arrives.
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Right... Christ. I
was thinking more...
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I mean, that's very fine detail.
Yes, it is, exactly, Ian.
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Also, something else that came up,
he doesn't do sweetcorn at all.
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Right. No. Cool. Brilliant.
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00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,350
Meanwhile, downstairs, intern Will
Humphries is arriving as usual -
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00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,400
keen to get into the building
and begin some sort of day.
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00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,350
Yeah, hi. Hi, can I help? Yeah,
it's, like, my pass doesn't work?
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OK. Yeah, I don't know, it's, like,
it's not working. OK, let me try.
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OK... Yeah, cos I've got, like,
a coffee for Ian Fletcher?
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OK, you will have to sign in. No,
but I work here? You work here.
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I'm, kind of, like an intern.
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OK, but, I mean, your pass doesn't
work, so you will have to sign in.
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00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,350
Hi, Will. Oh, yeah,
hi, Izzy. Yeah, hi.
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00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,350
How are you? Yeah, I'm good.
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.
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Good. Yeah, so, like,
I'm in reception,
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but, like, my pass isn't working?
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00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,350
Oh, OK. Like, I'm
supposed to sign in,
51
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,350
but it's like I have to be
visiting someone? Right, yes.
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00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,350
Yeah, so, like, would it
be OK if I visited you?
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00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,350
Yeah, sure, OK. OK, cool.
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00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,350
Cos I've got, like, a
coffee for Ian Fletcher?
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I think I have to come
down and get you, though.
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What? Yeah, I know, yeah, crap. OK, stay
there and I'll come down in a minute.
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OK, cool, yeah, I'll stay here. OK.
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00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,400
OK, cool.
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00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,350
I mean, I am quite busy at the
moment, David. Oh, I know...
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I have got quite a lot on.
I know, tell me about it.
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00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,350
Meanwhile, after a more than usually
complicated start to the day
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with her daughter at home, senior
producer Lucy Freeman has arrived,
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with just enough time to snatch
a quick breakfast on her own,
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but, nevertheless, entertainment
format executive David Wilkes
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00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,350
is keen to ask her advice about
an idea he's been asked to have.
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00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,350
I mean, what was the remit
she gave you? Remit? Yes.
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,350
No, sorry, you've lost
me already there, Lucy.
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,350
Following a mixed reception
for Britain's Top Village,
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00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,350
with Gary Lineker and Holly
Willoughby last year,
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he's been invited to come up with
something even better than that
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by Head of Output Anna Rampton.
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I don't know what it is! Whether
she's like done to her hair, do
you know what I mean? Mmm...
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I can't quite put my finger on it.
So, what ideas have you got so far?
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00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,350
OK, so the direction I'm going in,
like the way my mind is working,
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00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,350
I was thinking maybe something
like Uptown Downtown. What?
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00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,350
I'm still working on the
title, obviously. Yes.
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00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,350
So, basically, celebrities
have like a town, OK?
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00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,350
So, maybe Myleene
Klass was born in...
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00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,350
Well, I don't know, she must
come from somewhere. Yes.
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00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,350
And they compete against each
other. You have, like, judges,
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00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:25,350
like Kirstie Allsopp, to convince
you that theirs is the best town
in Britain. Right, OK.
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00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,350
So, almost exactly like
Britain's Top Village then.
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00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,350
OK, so, with Town it's, like, what
you've done is you've taken Village,
OK? And what you've done is
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00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:35,350
you've gone up a gear
straightaway. Right. Any others?
85
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Oh, what? Any other ideas? Just
in case that one doesn't fly, yes.
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00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,350
Look at you, you're so healthy,
Lucy. Do you know what?
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Excuse me. I'm putting this back.
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I'm going for fruit salad instead.
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00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,350
Do you know what? I'm going to have
both. Sorry, you can have both.
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Honestly, what am I like?
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00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,350
And then finally the other thing I
just wanted to touch on this morning
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is this issue around Wimbledon
that's come up. Ah, OK.
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Yeah, bollocks. Brilliant. Brilliant.
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00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,350
Meanwhile, back up in Frankie Howerd,
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00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,350
Ian is literally setting the
agenda in the Way Ahead Meeting.
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Can I just say I was actually going to
raise this in Damage Limitation, Ian.
97
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Right. It doesn't matter
what meeting it is,
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it's the BBC, it's
damage limitation, OK?
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Well, I mean... Just saves time.
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00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,350
In the past few weeks, there
have been rumours that the BBC
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could be in danger of losing its
exclusive contract to broadcast
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the Wimbledon Tennis Championships
to a rival broadcaster,
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in this case, S... BLEEP
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00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,350
The fact is I've made
my views clear on this.
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Cannot happen, OK? Well, exactly.
Absolutely cannot happen.
106
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,350
I mean, for Christ's sake. I'm sorry,
but here we go, we're panicking already.
107
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,350
This is just a bit of... I mean, I don't
know where this story came from for a start.
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00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,350
Well, I can't speak for anyone else,
Neil, but I got it from BBC News.
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00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,350
Yeah, OK. Yes, me, too, Neil,
yes. Yes. Right. Fuck.
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00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,350
The BBC has broadcast Wimbledon
in one form or another
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00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,350
unremittingly for over 90 years.
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If it was to lose it now,
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00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,350
it would be a major blow
to its very BBCness.
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00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,350
Worse still, the ensuing debate
has thrown up suggestions
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00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,350
in some quarters that its coverage
of the Championships
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is, in certain respects, too white.
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00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,350
Guys, I don't want to
be dramatic about this,
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00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,350
and, I mean, we all love Sue Barker,
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but I got to say we are looking
at a situation here
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~ and not in a good way.
~ Brilliant.
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00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,350
~ I mean...
~ Brilliant.
~ Too white?
~ Bummer.
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I don't think it's about
Sue Barker specifically.
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00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,350
Apart from anything else, it's factually
inaccurate. Right, well...
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00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,350
The fact is Sue Barker
was originally blonde.
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Right, yes... As I say, I don't...
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Yes, Will, come in.
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No, come in, come in. Come in!
128
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,350
Thanks, Will, that's
great. Yeah, hi, sorry.
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00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,350
No, that's great, thanks. We
missed each other earlier.
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Yeah, I know, it's like
my pass isn't working?
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Oh, bad luck. Yeah, crap.
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00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,350
Right, well... Yeah, so, like,
Izzy came down to get me.
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Oh, right, did she? Yeah.
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00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,350
Oh, well, that's nice. Yeah.
135
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,350
OK. Well, thanks, anyway, Will.
Yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.
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00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,350
Right. Good.
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00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,350
Yes, no, I mean, I think we're in
danger of being drawn into detail
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too early again here.
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00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,350
I mean, Wimbledon is obviously
a cornerstone of the...
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00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,350
OK, OK, OK, erm, here's the thing
with this - erm, it's a no-brainer.
141
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,350
What it is is... OK, so, now
we've got two things, OK?
142
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,350
Got like Wimbledon, which
is like tennis, OK?
143
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,350
And we've got BBC, which is
like, erm, I don't know...
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00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,350
Sue Parker, OK? Sue Barker.
145
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,350
Sure, and what you want is...
Erm, you want one thing...
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00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,350
One thing? Sure. So, what you're
looking at here is a brand mashup.
147
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,350
Right... Oh, right. Here
we go. A "brand mashup"?
148
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,350
Sure. You want to say more
about how that could work?
149
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,350
Well, erm... No, sure. Really?
150
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,350
Erm, so it's, like, I don't know...
151
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,350
It's like OK, OK, OK...
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00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:32,350
OK. So, it's like I say the word
"peanut", OK? What are you thinking?
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00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,350
Peanut? No, I said that.
That's the word I just said.
154
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,350
Yes, no, I... What are
you thinking? Erm..
155
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,350
OK, I'll say it again, OK? But
don't think - just say stuff.
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00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,670
Peanut.
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00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,350
Monkey. Yes, very good.
158
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,350
Butter. "Butter"?
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00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,350
Peanut butter, OK? Brilliant. Duh.
160
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,350
Well, I'm sorry, Siobhan,
but I think of monkey.
161
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,350
OK, there's no such thing
as peanut monkey, OK? What?
162
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,350
I mean, that's like... I don't
even know where to start.
163
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,350
So, like peanut and
butter - two things.
164
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,350
Peanut butter - one thing.
Yes... Yes, no, very strong.
165
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,350
BBC and Wimbledon - two things.
166
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,350
BB-sWimbledon - one thing.
167
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,350
Yes, no, I think we've got that. No,
sure, it's, like, what's not to get?
168
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,350
And this is an area where you could
have some ideas? Well, hang on...
169
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,350
Where we could have ideas? Yes.
Like there are areas we don't?
170
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,350
Right... OK, good. Shall
we just have a think
171
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,350
about exactly how we want to play
this? The fact is this is important.
172
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,350
Yes. I've already made that
clear. Yes, no, brilliant.
173
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,350
But, Siobhan, I don't want to spoil
this party we're all having now,
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00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,350
but you can actually have other
kinds of butter. Excuse me?
175
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,350
I don't believe this.
176
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,350
You can have, like, brandy butter
or just ordinary butter.
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00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,350
It doesn't have to be peanut.
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00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,350
There's no such thing as
monkey butter, OK? What?
179
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,400
Brilliant. Get over it.
Brilliant. Very strong.
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00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,350
Cos, sometimes... I mean,
it's her hair, obviously,
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00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,350
but sometimes, she has
it done really straight,
182
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,350
and, to be honest, I don't think
does her any favours. Mmm...
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00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,350
Do you know what I mean, though?
184
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,350
Meanwhile, down in the Syncopaticafe,
185
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,350
it's becoming increasingly
clear to Lucy
186
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,350
that she's having
breakfast with David.
187
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,350
So, why the sudden urgency from Anna,
all of a sudden, anyway? Mm, I know.
188
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,350
Do you know what, Lucy? I think
it's to do with this new job.
189
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,350
What new job? Oh, OK.
190
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,350
Well, apparently, no-one's
supposed to know anything yet,
191
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,350
but they're creating this new
like Director of Better or...
192
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,350
"Director of Better"?
Apparently, yeah. Better what?
193
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,350
I mean, basically, I
think what it is is...
194
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,350
Yeah, you know what?
I don't care. No? OK.
195
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,350
Anyway, all it is is she
needs something really good
196
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,350
to have up her sleeve if she applies.
197
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,350
Right. So, all you need to do now
is think of something really good?
198
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,350
Oh, I know, tell me about it. I mean,
this is so not my area, David...
199
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,350
No, I know... but if you want my honest
opinion... Yes, please, Lucy, I do.
200
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:39,350
.. I'd be tempted to go in a different
direction, I think. Oh, right. If I was you.
201
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,350
Maybe surprise her with
something original. OK...
202
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,350
That's interesting.
203
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,400
That's brilliant, Lucy. That's
really great. Thank you.
204
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,350
So, when you say "different direction",
Lucy... As I say, I'm really not...
205
00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,350
No, just as an example of what you
mean, I mean. I mean, I don't know,
if all the celebrities in the world
206
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,350
swapped pets with other for a week or...
Oh, my God! I mean, not that, but...
207
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,350
Kylie has a Rhodesian ridgeback.
Yes, well, that's...
208
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,350
Then it's like, "Will
they miss the old pets?
209
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,350
"Or will they fall in love with
the new one?" No, David...
210
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,870
Do you think a week would be enough?
211
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,350
OK, so, how it works is
you guys go either end
212
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,350
and I'm like umpire
or judge or whatever.
213
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,350
Cool. Groovy.
214
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,350
Over at Perfect Curve,
215
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,350
it's a different day and Siobhan
is preparing her creative team
216
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,350
to play mashup tennis.
217
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,350
So, then you guys
have, like, ideas...
218
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,350
OK, so, like, you have an
idea, OK? Yeah, so, like...
219
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,350
No shut up, still me. Yeah. So,
you like hit the idea ball...
220
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,350
Cool... and if your idea
isn't better than your idea,
221
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,350
then you lose the point,
OK? OK. OK, cool. Yeah.
222
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,350
With other broadcasters,
such as S... BLEEP
223
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,350
.. making moves to poach the
iconic event from the BBC,
224
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,350
leaving it with no live sports
that people understand,
225
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,350
their mission to both mashup
and pimp the BBC Wimbledon brand
226
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,350
at the same time, which isn't easy.
227
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,350
So, it's, like, serious shit.
228
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,350
But that doesn't mean
they can't have fun.
229
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,350
It doesn't mean we can't have fun here,
right? OK, you serve. Sure, whatever. Go!
230
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,350
OK. No, hang on, what's going on?
OK, no, that's too slow, you're out.
231
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:24,350
No, but it's like it's singles,
otherwise it doesn't work. Yeah,
singles, yeah, whatever. Go. OK?
232
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:29,350
So, I could be down the other end? No.
Yeah. Well, how's that going to help?
233
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,350
He could be, like, ball boy.
234
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,400
Yeah, cool, yeah, ball
boy, yeah, cool. OK? Yeah.
235
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,350
OK. Right. Ready? Yeah. Go!
236
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,350
So, you have BBC newsreaders
or like David Thingy
237
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,350
actually umpiring the matches.
238
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,350
Cool. Shit. David who? This is good.
239
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:51,350
Erm, old guy, grey hair, does, like,
political stuff with politicians.
240
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,350
Attenborough. Yeah, David
Attenborough, yeah, cool, yeah.
241
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,350
OK, cool idea, Barney. 15-love.
242
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,350
Coco, your... Fault. Excuse me?
243
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,350
What? Yeah, because what
if David Attenborough
244
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,350
doesn't know the rules of
tennis or like how to score?
245
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,350
In this idea, he does know the rules.
246
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,350
Well, he might not - it's
not as easy as it looks.
247
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,350
You're a ball boy, OK? Yeah.
248
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,350
OK, cool. So, I could be
like net cord judge? What?
249
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,350
OK, 30-15. Coco. OK, so...
250
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,350
With, like, the finger,
it's pretty cool.
251
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,350
Yeah, so, like, with the umpires,
252
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,350
with David Attenborough or
maybe, like, Alan Sugar?
253
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,350
Yeah, yeah, cool, yeah,
Alan Sugar, yeah.
254
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,350
Like, so now all they do
is, like, say the score,
255
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,350
but they could be more like judges.
256
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,350
Cool. So, like, at
the end of the rally,
257
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,350
they'd be like "15-love.
Nice footwork."
258
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,350
Yeah, yeah, cool.
Or if it's just out,
259
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,350
they're like "Love-15.
Cool shot, but no cigar."
260
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,350
Yeah, cool, yeah. OK, I
love this, this is epic.
261
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,350
OK, so, erm, 30-30, whatever.
262
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,350
Barney? OK. So, we have Graham
Norton up in a players' box?
263
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,350
Excuse me? Cool. Yeah,
so he's, like, up there
264
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,350
with the players' girlfriends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No way!
265
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,350
Yeah. Cos when, like, the players
swap ends and sit down,
266
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,350
normally that's when
you go to adverts,
267
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,350
but, with the BBC, they don't
have adverts... Bummer.
268
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,350
Yeah, so instead you've just got two guys,
like, sitting there eating bananas.
269
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,350
Well, sometimes it's like they take their
shirts off. Yeah, but... Yeah, sometimes.
270
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,350
BUT with Graham up there with, like,
Andy Murray's girlfriend... Kim?
271
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,350
Yeah, Kim, yeah. We love
Kim - she's gorgeous.
272
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,350
Yeah, and... Yeah, big sunglasses.
273
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,350
Yeah, and Graham's like,
"How are you feeling?"
274
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,350
or "Oh, my God, we're so
loving that dress, Kim."
275
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,350
God, I love this, this just,
like, the best thing ever, OK?
276
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,350
Erm, 30-40. No, it's...
277
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,400
OK, OK. 40-30-30?
40-deuce, whatever. Go!
278
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,350
Hi, Izzy. Hi. Have you got a moment?
279
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,350
Back at New Broadcasting House,
280
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,350
Ian has had an issue on his
mind, and it hasn't gone away.
281
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,350
I don't want to disturb you, I know
you're busy enough... That's OK.
282
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,350
.. but would be possible...?
283
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,350
Will's pass isn't working, for
some reason. Yes, no, I know.
284
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,350
Oh, yes, thanks for letting him in again
today. I had a quick look on Syncopatico...
285
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,350
Yes... but as usual I couldn't
make... No. You know, it kept
telling me I wasn't discoverable,
286
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,350
or my network settings were in
conflict with God knows... Yes.
287
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,350
So, basically I fell at the first hurdle.
Yes, no, I had a look earlier, too.
288
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,350
Oh, right. And? His pass
has actually run out.
289
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,350
Well, I mean yes, that's the...
No, I mean, it's... What?
290
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,350
I think Will's internship
has expired.
291
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,350
Oh, God. I know. No.
292
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,350
Yeah.
293
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,350
I haven't said anything to him. No, no, of
course. I don't really know what to say.
294
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,350
I mean, are you sure?
295
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,350
So, the standard period is normally,
like, eight weeks. Eight weeks?
296
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,350
I know. But, I mean, that's...
How long...? 11 months.
297
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,350
11 months? Yeah. Well...
How can that happen?
298
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,350
I don't think anyone's noticed. No.
299
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,350
No, OK. Well, at least that's
something positive, I suppose.
300
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,800
Yes. Yeah.
301
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,350
OK, so, like, on court,
302
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,350
you have, like, BBC theme
tunes for both players.
303
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,350
OK... So, I don't get that.
Yeah, OK... I don't get it.
304
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,350
Yeah, so, like, say Andy Murray is
going to play Novak Djokovic, OK?
305
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,350
OK, so, I don't even
know what that is.
306
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,350
He's, like, world number one or
something. OK, sure, whatever.
307
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,350
Yeah, but, like, at tennis.
So, like, Novak,
308
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,350
he'd be like Doctor Who, because
he's, like, a bit... Sure, whatever.
309
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,350
Yeah, he's kind of like an alien.
310
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,350
Yeah, but... Yeah, like
his hair. Yeah, but, Andy,
311
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,350
he'd be, like, Strictly.
We LOVE Strictly.
312
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,000
Yeah, so, like, if Novak wins
a rally and then it's like...
313
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,350
OK, no, I get that.
314
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,350
Yeah, but then, like, the whole
crowd joins in, so it's like...
315
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,350
Yeah, I still get it. Do Strictly.
316
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,350
Then, if, like, Andy wins
a rally, then it's like...
317
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,540
Ho!
318
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,350
Holy shit. Yeah, cos then it's, like,
319
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,350
suddenly it's, like,
party time. Do it again.
320
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,540
Ho!
321
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,350
Somebody tie this girl
down. Yeah, it's like...
322
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,350
Ho!
323
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:05,350
Good job, guys, we did good here.
We totally nailed this coyote.
324
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,350
It's like ho! We just
BBCed Wimbledon.
325
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,350
Well played, good match. Cool.
326
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,870
Yeah. Ho...
327
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,350
Back over at New Broadcasting House,
328
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,350
it's a completely different day.
329
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,350
And as Ian arrives for work,
330
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,350
the first issue of the
morning presents itself
331
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,350
even before he's made
it inside the building.
332
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,350
Oh, hi, Will. Yeah, hey,
yeah, cool. There you go.
333
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,350
Right, thanks. I mean, that's really
good of you, Will... No worries.
334
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,350
No, I mean, really,
I'm perfectly capable,
335
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,350
I should get used to carrying my
own bike and getting my own coffee.
336
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,350
Yeah, no, no worries. That's cool.
No, but... It's like a system.
337
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,350
Right, yes. Yeah, so my pass
still isn't working? Right, no.
338
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,350
I asked Simon Harwood when he came
through if I could visit him,
339
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,350
but he said it's probably better if I
visit you? Oh, right yes, did he? Yeah.
340
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,350
I prefer visiting you anyway, it's
better. I mean, we really need
to sort this out at some point.
341
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,350
Yeah, I know, crap. Yes.
Yeah, with the pass,
342
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,400
I was thinking maybe it's like
the photo's, like, just too weird.
343
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,350
I mean, someone's going to have to
tell him, aren't they? Yes. Yes.
344
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,350
I'll tell him. This is awful. I know.
I'll tell him. Really, I don't mind.
345
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:18,350
I don't think there is, like, a
formal system. But he seems to
be closest to you. Well, that's...
346
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,350
Yeah, like you've adopted him.
Me? Well, or Will's adopted you.
347
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,350
I mean, maybe if his pass just
keeps not working, I suppose
348
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,350
there's a chance he might just work
it out for himself eventually.
349
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,350
Yes.
350
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,350
Right, OK, no. Great.
351
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,350
Meanwhile, producer Lucy Freeman
352
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,350
is with potentially new
writer Dan Shepherd.
353
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,350
After working towards developing
a new drama, Home Truth,
354
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,350
with him for over two years,
355
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,350
the project is finally nearing
another meeting. I have to say,
356
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,350
I don't know what Matt's going to say...
Right... but he asked for the meeting so...
357
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,350
Yeah... I'm always cautious,
but, after everything,
358
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,350
with everything you've been
through, you have to think,
359
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,350
what else can it be but something good? Yeah.
So, do you actually work here every day?
360
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,400
Yes, I do, yes. Right, OK. Every day.
361
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,350
Dan. Hi. You remember Matt?
How are we? Yeah, good, yeah.
362
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,350
Thanks so much for coming all the
way down. How's Whitby? Wetherby.
363
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,350
Wetherby, yes, Wetherby, of course.
Yeah, no, it's OK, thanks. Great.
364
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,350
It's still pretty much the same. Great,
have a seat or something. Yeah. Oh...
365
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,350
Generic Head of Comedy
and/or Drama Matt Taverner
366
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,350
has asked to meet Lucy and Dan
367
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,350
to talk about what happens
next with Home Truth,
368
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,350
a love story set and told
very much in the context
369
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,350
of the Yorkshire seaside
town of Scarborough.
370
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,350
I mean, first of all, I love what
you've done with these scripts.
371
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:39,350
Oh, right. They're great, aren't they? I just
think the characters are really solid now.
372
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,350
Yeah. Especially, I mean, the
main character, I just...
373
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,350
Sarah. I love that she's a woman.
374
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,350
I love that she's, you
know, she's strong.
375
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,350
I really feel I know
who Sarah is now.
376
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,350
Yeah, I haven't really done anything
to her. No. Well, maybe not,
377
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,350
but the way she reads now in
the architecture of the whole...
378
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,350
Oh, right. So, the work you've
done around her as a protagonist.
379
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,350
Yeah. I mean, look, what I'm basically
saying is congratulations.
380
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,350
Oh, right, OK. Terrific.
Yes. Thanks. See?
381
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,350
So, I guess part of my job is I
think a lot at the moment about
382
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,350
what is a BBC story today?
Oh, right. Do you?
383
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,350
And also about who do we want
to be telling stories about?
384
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,350
And who do we want to tell
them to? Right. Right.
385
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,350
I don't know. Who? I don't know.
I may be wrong about this...
386
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,350
but is there just something
about Scarborough as a place -
387
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,350
as a precinct, if you like -
388
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,350
is it a bit, I don't know, maybe
a bit one-dimensional in some ways?
389
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,350
Yeah. "One dimensional"?
Mmm. Yeah, it is.
390
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,350
What do you mean by...? What do you
mean...? What do you mean, Matt?
391
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,350
Well, I guess I just
mean culturally, really.
392
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,350
Is it all just a bit the same?
Yeah, no, definitely. Well...
393
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,350
Yeah. Cos I mean that's, sort of,
like the point. Yeah, no, sure,
394
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,350
that's great, Dan, that's brilliant. I mean,
OK, would it help us at all here if...?
395
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,350
I'm just throwing this out there,
would it help us if we thought
396
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:53,350
about reimagining it somewhere
a bit more like, I don't know,
Leicester or...? Leicester?
397
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,350
Oh, right. But... You
know, or Wolverhampton
398
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,350
or, I don't know, maybe even somewhere
like Walthamstow, perhaps or..? Yeah.
I'm just... Walthamstow?
399
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,350
Would that make it culturally richer?
400
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,350
And, if so, would that be a
good thing? No, but, Matt...
401
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,350
But that's... Walthamstow? I mean, that's
the polar opposite of Scarborough. No, sure.
402
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,350
You might as well just start again.
No, no, this has such potential, Dan.
403
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,350
We all feel the same about that.
404
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,400
I guess, my job is just to ask the
question, could it be even better?
405
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,350
OK. Right. And if it could,
406
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,350
I guess what I'm asking Dan
just to think about is,
407
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,350
is there something we might
all gain from that? Yeah.
408
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,400
That's all I'm thinking
about here. Yes. Great.
409
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,350
I'm sorry, I've got this wrong.
I thought he'd apologised already.
410
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,350
Yes. Oh, he has, Neil, yes.
411
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,350
Meanwhile, it's Thursday,
412
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,350
and time for the Thursday
Damage Limitation Meeting.
413
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,350
Since the making of this documentary,
414
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,350
certain events have happened.
415
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,350
As a result of which,
for technical reasons,
416
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,350
we are unable to mention
certain individuals by name.
417
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,350
The fact is he's issued a formal
apology on Twitter. Yeah, OK, so...
418
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,350
He says he's never had anything
at all against tossers - he's worked
with them all his life. Yes.
419
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,350
Yes, no, very good. Tracey, do we
know what the legal situation is?
420
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,350
I have spoken to them
quite extensively.
421
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,350
Traditionally, the first item on
the agenda is the Jeremy BLEEP item
422
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,350
and today is no exception.
423
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,350
And what they're saying is, over
the last four series of the show,
424
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,350
if his use of the word comes to less
than once an hour of broadcast time,
425
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,350
or to put it more clearly
0.5 times every half hour,
426
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,350
then, legally, it's classed...
427
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,350
This week, there have been complaints
about his use of the word
428
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,350
"tosser" in the BBC Two
hit sitcom, Top Gear.
429
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,350
Whereas if his use of the
word is above that figure,
430
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,350
it counts as detrimental... OK...
in which case, I don't know what.
431
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,350
I mean, listen, this is
so not my area of thingy,
432
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,350
I don't know how the whole
BLEEP.. son thing works.
433
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,350
The fact is we need to be better at this
sort of thing. Yes, very good. Right. Yes.
434
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,350
Well, I mean, leaving aside the
issue of whose responsibility
435
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,350
this actually is for a moment...
I've already said what I think.
436
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,350
.. surely the first thing is to establish
the answer to the frequency of use question.
437
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:02,350
Brilliant. Because that might just clarify
the whole thing. Right, OK, fine. Brilliant.
438
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,350
Good-o! So, hang on, wait a minute,
439
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,350
so someone's going to have to watch four
years' worth of Top Gear back-to-back?
440
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,350
Well, I mean... Yes. Jesus!
441
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,350
Exactly, Neil, yes. Going
to go bloody mad.
442
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,350
The fact is it's basically Dave.
443
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,350
Yeah, they're going to go bloody mad.
444
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,350
OK. All righty - Jeremy, tick.
445
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,350
Now onto frankly rather
more royal matters now.
446
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,350
With this week's BLEEP
strategy agreed,
447
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,350
Simon can move the meeting
onto the main item -
448
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,350
the increasingly forthcoming
visit of Prince Charles.
449
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,350
Erm, brilliant, so, Ian, I had
a quick decaf with Tony earlier.
450
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,350
Right, did you? Yes, I mean, he'll know how
you want to play this better than I do,
451
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,350
but for what it's worth we got really
rather excited about the idea of you
doing a sort head prefect number
452
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:45,350
for us on the day, Ian. Yes.
You know, ushering his HRHness
up to the headmaster's office,
453
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,350
chatting to some of the brighter
sixth formers on the way.
454
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,350
Yes, no, I talked to Tony about
this last week. Oh, OK, brilliant.
455
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,350
We both... Brilliant. We both agreed, though,
when it comes to the sequence of events
456
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,350
on the day itself, it's key that
we all know what's going to happen
457
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,350
and we all know what we're
doing. Yes. Yes, very good.
458
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,350
No, I agree with that, Ian.
Yeah, also it'd be a first.
459
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,350
One thing I can say, something
they've very clear about,
460
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,350
apparently he wants to meet people
from all levels in the BBC. Right.
461
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,350
Yes, no, very good. Why?
462
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,350
No, I don't know why, Anna,
they don't tell you that.
463
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:17,350
But he doesn't just want to meet
the high-ups. That's all good to
know. Another thing they want
464
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:21,350
to know in advance, Ian, is exactly
who is going to be in the greeting
party. Right, yes.
465
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,400
Yes. You know, who's actually going
to be meeting him, personally. Yes.
466
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,350
That is something they will need to know
in advance, Ian. No, I mean, I said to Tony
467
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:36,350
that this is obviously something
we'll need to think about very
carefully. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah.
468
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,400
Yes. Brilliant. Yeah,
good luck with that.
469
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,350
Cos do you know what, Anna? I just
think it would be great to go in
470
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,350
a different direction from Village,
if you want my honest opinion.
471
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,350
Heavy Petting? OK, so Kylie
swaps her Rhodesian ridgeback
472
00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,350
for like one week with Alan
Carr's Maine Coon. What?
473
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,350
I know, I hadn't heard of them,
either, had to look them up.
474
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,350
It's later that day and Head
of Output Anna Rampton
475
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,350
has asked David Wilkes to come into
her office and talk about his ideas.
476
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,350
".. the largest domesticated breed of cat
with a distinctive physical appearance
477
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,350
"and valuable hunting skills." Yes.
478
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,350
"Also known for its
intelligence, gentle personality,
479
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,350
"and health problems such as
feline..." Yes, all right.
480
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,350
It's just something I've not
seen on television, that's all.
481
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,350
Yes, and the fact is that's
not going to change. No.
482
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,350
The fact is this is a critical
moment in the history of the...
483
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,350
Aware that this is a critical
moment in the BBC's history,
484
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,350
Anna knows she's in a situation
where she needs something
485
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,350
that's not only different, but,
crucially, better than different.
486
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,350
.. And, crucially, better
than different. Yes, right.
487
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,350
For David, this a moment to draw on his
experience as a development executive.
488
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,350
whilst at the same time
thinking with his feet.
489
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,350
Imagine Britain's Got Talent
meets Family Fortunes. Right.
490
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,350
With a bit of The One Show thrown in just
in case, obviously. Britain's Top Family?
491
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,350
But that's just a working title.
492
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,350
I was thinking maybe something
like Family Face-Off.
493
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,350
Or maybe just Family, because
one word's good. Yes.
494
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,350
And it's, like, do you know what?
495
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,350
This is about all of us. It's
just got everything, it's very...
Yes, so how would it work?
496
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,350
Well, each week, you've got,
like, two different families,
497
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,350
so, you know, like, one,
like, really posh one,
498
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,350
one, like, total car crash, and
they compete against each other.
499
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,350
They compete how? Sorry,
Anna? They compete how?
500
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,350
Yes. Because it's like we've
all got something we can do.
501
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,350
So, one week Grandad plays tunes
on his head with a spoon... OK.
502
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,350
And the kids are doing, like, handstands while
doing impressions of, like, different...
503
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,350
The fact is the future of the
BBC is not old people playing
spoons on their head with tunes.
504
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,350
No. The fact is that's what ITV is
for. Sorry, Anna, excuse me. Jack?
505
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,350
Afraid they didn't have any white
tea in the end, but I... OK, no.
.. did manage to get hold
506
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:41,350
of some oolong. No, that's not going
to work. Right, sure. Can I get you
anything else? I'll have water.
507
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,350
Sure. Not from the... No, sure.
Oh, yes... Nothing for me, thanks,
Jack, I'm fine. Another e-mail
508
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,350
from Carrie at BBC America. Yes? They
really need to know now if you can
do that week of the 27th in LA?
509
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:53,350
Right. I've been stalling, cos
I know that's the week of the
Prince Charles thing. The... Yes.
510
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,350
I wasn't sure if you were going
to be involved in that.
511
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,400
I can't do LA. OK. They can move
it. No, sure. OK, cool. Yes.
512
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,350
Wow. Yes? You're meeting Prince
Charles when he comes, Anna?
513
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,350
The fact is we've met before. Lucky
you. Talk about Britain's Top Family.
514
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,400
Hm, yes. Get him involved, then
you really have got a show.
515
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,350
I mean, when you first came
here, to the BBC, I mean,
516
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,350
what did they actually tell you? Yeah,
they just said, like, "Wait in reception."
517
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,350
Right. But did they say anything
about how long it was for?
518
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,350
Yeah, it was like most of the
morning. Then Izzy came down.
519
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,350
Right... Yeah, I know.
520
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,350
Meanwhile, Ian has invited
Will into Frankie Howerd
521
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,350
to talk about things generally.
522
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,350
I don't really know how to say this,
523
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,350
but internships are normally for
a limited amount of time. Yeah.
524
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,740
They don't normally last for ever.
525
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,350
Yeah. So, we need to talk about that.
526
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,350
Yeah, no worries. It's not my
pass that's expired, it's me.
527
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:49,350
Well, no, that's not quite... Yeah, no, that's
cool. It's like with school. Well, yes...
528
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,350
Sometimes you've just got to leave
right in the middle of the morning.
Yes, I mean... Really?
529
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,350
Yeah, my sister just turned
up in my mother's car. Right.
530
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,350
But, as well as things generally,
Ian also knows that at some point
531
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,350
someone is going to have to talk
to Will about things specifically
532
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,350
and that, for better, or,
more accurately, for worse,
533
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,350
he is that person and
this is that moment.
534
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,350
Anyway, as I say, I think things have
probably come to the point where we...
535
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,350
I mean, I don't know if
you've had any thoughts
536
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,350
about the sort of thing you might
want to do next? Yeah, I have, yeah.
537
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,350
Because I mean... You have? Yeah.
Oh, well, that's really... That's
great, Will. Yeah, I know, yeah.
538
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:26,350
It's pretty cool. So, what sort of
thing are you thinking of going for?
Cos I was going to ask you about it.
539
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,350
Well, of course. Obviously, I'd love
to help, if I can. Yeah, cool, yeah.
540
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,350
Cos, you know, like, Izzy is, like,
a PA to Simon Harwood? Yes, right.
541
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,350
Like, she feeds his fish for him
and stuff. Yes, I mean... She what?
Yeah, so I was thinking...
542
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,350
His fish? So, I was thinking, like, I do
your coffee and, like, your bike and stuff.
543
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,350
Right... So...
544
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,350
I mean, could I, like,
be PA to you? PA to me?
545
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,350
Yeah, I mean a real one. Like, a real
job. Like, I could do other stuff, too.
546
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,350
Cos that would be, like...
That would be SO cool.
547
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,350
Right, OK... Yeah, OK, no. Well,
no, Will... Yeah, no worries.
548
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,350
Yeah, you know, yeah, crap. No, it's just,
as I say, I'd like to help... Yeah, me, too.
549
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,350
But it's just... I mean,
for that to happen...
550
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,350
OK, for a start,
551
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,350
I'd have to work out a formal
job description of some kind.
552
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,350
Yeah, cool, yeah. No, but... No, but
you'd have to apply for it, formally.
553
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,350
OK. I'd probably have to give
you a reference... Cool.
554
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,350
.. which would be... Well, I'd have
to think about how to do that. Yeah.
555
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,350
This whole thing would have to go through
the BBC HR department... Whoa!
556
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,350
..and ultimately, you'd need
to be able to put together
557
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,870
a really top-quality, impressive CV.
558
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,350
OK. What? Let's go
for it. Well, no...
559
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,350
It's, like, sometimes you
have to believe in yourself,
560
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,350
because no-one else does, either. The...
What? Yeah, cool, yeah, let's do it.
561
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,070
Right, OK. Good.
562
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,350
I mean, if there's anything in
particular His Royal Highness
563
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,350
would like to see or do whilst he's
here, please let us know, obviously.
564
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,350
Sure, yes. We know he doesn't
do sweetcorn. No.
565
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,350
Meanwhile, Prince Charles's Private
Relations Secretary, Camilla Ford,
566
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,350
and Clarence House Head of Hidden
Security, Richard Cartwright,
567
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,350
have already arrived to
go through the fine theory
568
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,350
of the forthcoming royal visit.
569
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,350
So, this is Camilla.
Right. Hi. Ian Fletcher.
570
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,350
Hi. Camilla? What are the
chances...? Yeah, no, don't.
571
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,350
Right, OK. no. And this is
Richard Cartwright. Ian.
572
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,350
Richard, good to meet you.
Yeah, Dick, really. Sorry?
573
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,350
Oh, right. It's Dick,
really, not Richard.
574
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,350
Yeah. Right, OK, fine.
575
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,350
Dick actually looks after
the security side of things.
576
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,350
~ Right, OK. Well, pretty important guy, then.
~ Yes. Don't know about that -
577
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,350
I just tag along most of the time.
Yes, what is it pilots say?
578
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,350
It's actually really boring until something
goes wrong. Well, exactly, yeah. Yes.
579
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,350
Yes, Dick actually is a pilot. Right,
OK. Well, I was. A real one.
580
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,350
Well, yes. A squadron leader
in the RAF. Right, good.
581
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,350
~ Well, I mean, shall we
just go in and make a...?
~ OK, guys...
582
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:42,350
Ah, right... All right, OK. We good?
Hello, Dave. So, guys, this is...
583
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:46,350
Dave Green is the BBC's own Head of
Security at New Broadcasting House.
584
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:50,350
Camilla. Richard. Apologies...
Well, actually, technically,
585
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,350
I'm not late, you guys are early,
which is fine, by the way... Yeah.
586
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,350
.. but we've had an issue with
Huw Edwards this morning,
587
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,350
I can't go into detail, I'm afraid.
Right. Yeah, it's Dick, by the way.
588
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,350
Sorry, Richard? It's Dick,
not Richard. Yeah. Yes, Dick.
589
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,350
Fair enough, Richard, noted. Right.
590
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,350
Right. OK, so shall we...?
591
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,350
Like to start outside, guys,
if that's good for everyone.
592
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:09,350
Right.
593
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,350
Dave is not only responsible for
the fail-safe security system
594
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,350
that completely surrounds
New Broadcasting House,
595
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,350
but also personally devised much
of the Syncopaticurity software that
596
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,350
makes it theoretically effective
597
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,350
in almost any theoretical circumstance.
598
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:27,350
We do operate a fail safe
intelligent zonal lock-down system
599
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,350
in the building, whereby in the
event of a problem in one area,
600
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,350
which there won't be,
601
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:36,350
OK, adjacent areas will start
to go into automatic lock-down,
602
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,350
in sequence, until the
entire building is secure,
603
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,350
until, or I should say unless,
604
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,350
such time as that process
is manually deselected.
605
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,350
Yes, well, that's good to know.
606
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,350
I believe it's the same system as
used in the White House, Richard.
607
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,350
Is it? I believe so, yes. God.
608
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,350
It's Dick. Dick, yes.
609
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,350
Indeed, apologies,
my mistake, Richard.
610
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,350
Yeah. OK, good.
611
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,350
So, once we're happy the
royal vehicles have arrived
612
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,350
and are - I should say ARE
arrived - via Langham Street
613
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,350
and are secured in the holding
position, I will seek
614
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,350
clearance from you, Richard, to move
to the live phase of the operation.
615
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,350
OK.
616
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,350
Now, assuming you come back to
me with a go, I will at that point
617
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,350
assume control of the rising
bollards personally.
618
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,350
OK, go. Thank you, Richard.
619
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,350
Dick. Yeah, never mind.
Currently, as you can see,
620
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,350
they're in what we call their
secure or raised aspect,
621
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,350
in which aspect you could drive
a Bulldog armoured support vehicle
622
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,350
at them and I promise you,
you will come off worse.
623
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,350
Right, really? Oh, right.
Well, that's very...
624
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,350
Excuse me, come off WORST.
.. very reassuring.
625
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,350
Luckily, I think he'll probably
be in a Range Rover.
626
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,350
Range Rover, yes.
627
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,350
Handy thing about this, Richard
- single Wi-Fi handset that
628
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,350
changes functionality depending on
where it's detected in the building.
629
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,350
Yeah, I've just got a
Samsung, I'm afraid. OK.
630
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,350
But I have got the number of the
RAF in here if I need it. Right.
631
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,600
Right, OK, so that's all good.
632
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,350
'It's half past one in the afternoon
633
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,340
'and I frankly can't see
us getting this done.'
634
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,350
You sure you don't
want me to carry it?
635
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,350
No, really, it's fine, thanks,
Will, no, that's great. OK, cool.
636
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,350
Goodnight, Izzy. Yeah,
goodnight, Izzy.
637
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,350
Hi, yes, goodnight. Yeah, I
know. How's it going? Yes...
638
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,350
Whoa, Top Gear. Yes,
yes, it's riveting(!)
639
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,350
Yeah, no, cos my sister's got
like a VW Beetle? Really...?
640
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,350
Yeah, but like a new
one. It's pretty cool.
641
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,350
Anyway, at the moment, they're
driving tractors through Belgium.
642
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:26,350
Cool. Well, OK, good luck anyway.
643
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,350
Thanks. Yeah.
644
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:29,350
Bye. Bye.
645
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,350
Will? Yeah, I don't know...
646
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,350
What? Well, maybe I could do that.
647
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,350
Well... Do this?
648
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,350
Yeah, cool. Uh, well,
I mean... Yes, uh...
649
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,350
it's supposed to be done
by the end of tomorrow.
650
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:40,350
Yeah, no worries, yeah. Right.
651
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,350
I suppose if you actually really
want to, Will... Yeah, I do.
652
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,350
I mean, I have to say that
would be really... Cool. Yes.
653
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,350
Cos I'm not sure how
much of this I can take.
654
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,350
I mean, are you really sure
about this though, Izzy?
655
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,350
It is quite important to get
this right, isn't it? Yes.
656
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,350
Yeah, that's OK, I don't mind.
657
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,350
It's a matter of making a note
of exactly where Jeremy BLEEP
658
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,350
uses the word "tosser"
in all of these shows.
659
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,350
OK, cool, yeah, no worries,
yeah, "tosser".
660
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,350
You don't have to start right
now though. Yeah, no, it's cool.
661
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,350
Yeah, cos it's like, I could
put it on my CV. On your CV?
662
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,400
Yeah. Right. Cool. Yes, great.
663
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,350
No, Dan, you mustn't,
you can't just...
664
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,350
The thing is, if you give up now,
then, you know, what's the...
665
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,350
I think I might just end up
throwing myself off a bridge.
666
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,350
What, no, I'm not, I'm serious.
667
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,350
Well, I don't know, there
are lots of them,
668
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,350
I'll have to ask around
and just decide on one.
669
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,350
Yes, please, any time.
OK, speak soon. OK, bye.
670
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,350
Bye. Bye. Hi. Hi.
671
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,350
How are you? Yes, you know, yes.
672
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,350
Good. Yes, fine. Right.
673
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,350
'Doors opening.'
674
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,350
Walthamstow? I know, I know.
675
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,350
That's a bit of a stretch
from Scarborough, isn't it?
676
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,350
I finally get a meeting with Matt
Taviner to talk about it - I've been
677
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,350
trying to see him for, like, days -
678
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,350
so it's supposed to be seven o'clock,
679
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,350
so I hang around and I get this e-mail
just now - he can't make it.
680
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,350
~ Right.
~ He's got to go to some silent
opera with Alan Yentob,
681
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,350
which he must have known all along.
682
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,350
Yes. 'Doors opening.'
683
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,350
~ I just feel really guilty
about Dan, you know...
~ Yes.
684
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,350
He's up there in Wetherby,
he's had to move out,
685
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,350
he's living with his old
English teacher. Right.
686
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,350
And I'm the one that's been telling
him to have faith. Well, that's...
687
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,350
~ Sorry, I'm going on about it.
~ No, I asked.
688
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,350
It's been one of those
days. I mean, living with
689
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,350
~ your old English teacher...
~ Yes.
~ That's never good.
690
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,350
From the sound of it, though,
from everything you say,
691
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,350
none of this is your fault.
692
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,350
I know you shouldn't let this stuff
get to you, but sometimes it's...
693
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,350
~ Yes.
~ I know it's all to do with this
new Director of Thingy job really.
694
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,350
~ Right.
~ Matt's applying for it, I know
he is - that's what it's all about.
695
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:30,350
Hang on, what new job?
696
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,350
~ What?
~ Director of what?
697
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,350
~ No. I mean, I don't know.
~ What?
698
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,600
What?
699
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,350
♪ De de-de de duh duh
duh, de de-de duh duh! ♪
700
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,350
Right OK...
701
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,350
♪ Ho! De de-de de duh duh
duh, de de-de duh duh... ♪
702
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,350
It's another day at a different
time, and Siobhan has come over
703
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,350
from Perfect Curve to bring the
Way Ahead Task Force up to speed
704
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,350
with where exactly the
BBC Wimbledon brand
705
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,350
mashup is currently at.
706
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,350
♪ De de-de de duh duh duh,
Ho! De de-de duh... ♪
707
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,350
Right, OK, can we stop this now?
708
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,350
Sure. Yes.
709
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,350
Go, Andy! Yes.
710
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,350
Brilliant. Brilliant.
711
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,350
OK, this next one is so cool.
712
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:20,350
So, like, all the balls will
have the BBC logo on them.
713
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,350
Right. You can keep this
one, I don't want it.
714
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,350
Brilliant. Siobhan, I... Brilliant.
715
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,350
I'm not being picky or anything cos
I'm not like that, but I can't help
716
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,350
noticing what I can only describe
as a bit of a spelling mistake here.
717
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,350
Yeah. Na-ah. Yes, I'm afraid so.
718
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,350
Yeah, it's "Wimbledon".
719
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,350
De nada. Jesus...
720
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,350
No, I hate to say, Siobhan,
it is Wimbledon, I'm afraid,
721
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,350
not "WIN-bledon".
722
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,350
Not any more, it isn't.
723
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,350
Oh, right. Here we go.
724
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,350
BBC... WIN-bledon.
725
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,350
Right. Duh!
726
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,350
Right, OK, I see, you've...
727
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,350
It's a totally cool idea, it's a
win-win situation for like the BBC
728
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,350
and Wimbledon. Bollocks.
Right, well...
729
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,350
360-degree winsomeness.
730
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,350
What? We can come back to
the mashup idea in a moment,
731
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,350
I mean, if we actually have to. Sure.
732
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,350
But one thing we absolutely do
need to get right is the whole...
733
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,350
No matter how mashed up BBC
WIN-bledon now is as a concept,
734
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,350
Ian is keen to talk
about something else.
735
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,350
In this case, the sensitive
issue of possible
736
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,350
monohogeneity in the BBC's
coverage of lawn tennis.
737
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,350
I just think that in the context
of renewal, addressing this
738
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,350
issue properly is something
that's going to be critical.
739
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,350
The fact is, Wimbledon is
something... WIN-bledon.
740
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,350
Is something... BBC WIN-bledon.
741
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,350
Is something that we
do well, but the fact is
742
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,350
we should be looking at
ways of doing it better.
743
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,350
Yes, no, very good, Anna. That's
been my point all along.
744
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,350
No, honestly, fabulous.
Right. Well...
745
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:38,400
OK, so, three words, guys.
"Jo", "Wilfried" and "Tsonga".
746
00:36:39,350 --> 00:36:40,350
Right.
747
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,350
Brilliant. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga?
748
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,350
Sure. OK.
749
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,350
But it turns out the team at
Perfect Curve have already been
750
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,350
thinking about the idea of
augmenting the BBC team with
751
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,350
new commentators or experts who
ethnically not so much white.
752
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,350
This is a person. Yes.
753
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,350
Yeah, French, yeah. Super good.
754
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,350
They've discovered there's someone
called Jo-Wilfried Tsonga who's
755
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,350
currently ranked number
12 in the world.
756
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,350
And, what's more, at tennis.
757
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,350
OK, yes, good.
758
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,350
So, his mum's like French
and his dad's like whatever.
759
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,350
Yes, no, I'm not being
funny or anything,
760
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:11,350
but I play a bit of tennis myself...
761
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,350
You do? Yes. Christ.
762
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,350
Not at that standard,
Neil, obviously. No.
763
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,350
And I've got to say,
764
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,350
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga is actually
good news for the game. Sure.
765
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,350
So, wait a minute, you're actually
in contact with him?
766
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,350
We love Jo-Wilfried.
He's one cool dude.
767
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,350
What I like about him, he's
an athletic player, obviously,
768
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,350
especially on grass,
769
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,350
but the great thing about
him is he actually smiles.
770
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,350
Yes. Cool girlfriend. Yes.
771
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,350
So, Siobhan... Sure. Just
to be... Yep, no, sure.
772
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,350
You've actually... No, sure, yep.
773
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,350
Sorry, I am to going to ask
you this question, I'm afraid.
774
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,350
I'm good with that.
775
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,350
Just to be clear, what you're saying
is, you're in contact with
776
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,350
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga about this.
So, what it is is, we just need
777
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,350
like an in with his people and we're
all set. "An in with his people"?
778
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,350
Sure, and we're totally good
to go. Right. OK. Oh, right.
779
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,350
Guys, this is what
we do, OK? Bollocks.
780
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,350
Either nut up here, or get
off the bus at Loser's Creek.
781
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,870
Yeah, brilliant. Brilliant. Fabulous.
782
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,400
Whoa.
783
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,400
Whoa, cool.
784
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,350
Hi, Will. What? Oh, hey,
yeah, hey, Izzy, hey, yeah.
785
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,350
How's it going? Yeah,
no, it's pretty cool.
786
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,350
Meanwhile, after many hours of
careful observation, Will has
787
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,350
almost completed his task of
watching four years' worth
788
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,350
of Top Gear shows and counting
the number of "tossers".
789
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:00,350
27? Yeah, 27, yeah, and that's
exactly where they are at.
790
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,350
Right, that's really great, Will,
so where are the time codes?
791
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,350
Yeah, no, what? Say again?
792
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,350
We need to know exactly
where he uses the words
793
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,350
so they can do the edit.
794
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,350
He says it once like in Bulgaria.
795
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,350
I know, but that's what
the time codes are for.
796
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,350
Yeah, another time they're
in a car park. Yeah, yeah.
797
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,350
God, Will...
798
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,350
Yeah, no worries, it's my own fault.
799
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,350
So near, yet so far.
800
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,400
Yeah, I'm not going
to put this on my CV.
801
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:45,350
At last, after all the planning,
it's two weeks later,
802
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,870
and it's the day of the royal visit.
803
00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:51,350
Ohh, God. Oh, hi, Lucy.
804
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,350
David. I didn't see you there.
No, I know. What are you doing?
805
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,350
Oh, my God, you look
sensational, Lucy.
806
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,350
Well, no, thank you... I love what
that dress does for your hips.
807
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,350
My hips? Have you got a moment?
I was going to ask you
808
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,350
if you might be able
to do me a favour.
809
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,350
David, this isn't, I need to be...
810
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,350
No, no, no, it's only if
you can be bothered, Lucy,
811
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,350
and only if the situation
arises, obviously.
812
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,350
I was going to ask you if you'd
be able to give him this.
813
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,350
What? No, no, I know,
814
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,350
I'd do it myself, but I'm
not included in the party.
815
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,350
Is this a joke? What it is is I'm
developing this show, for Anna...
816
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,350
David, I am not giving
Prince Charles your card.
817
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,350
And basically, each
week, it's like...
818
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,350
I don't care, I am not giving
Prince Charles your card.
819
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,350
It would be such a great thing
for all of us if he agreed
820
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,350
to take part in it. Yes. And
that's all I'm thinking about.
821
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,350
I'm not doing it. That's ridiculous.
Do you want to think about it?
822
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:32,350
No. No, OK. No, I don't.
823
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,400
No, I'll just leave it with
you anyway. Lovely Lucy.
824
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,350
OK, copy that. And we
are amber here, guys.
825
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,350
I say again, amber amber amber.
826
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,350
With Prince Charles due
to arrive at midday,
827
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,350
by 11.40, there are only 20
minutes to go, and the royal
828
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,350
greeting party is gathering up
829
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,350
in the Director General's
outer office.
830
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,350
Just to say, guys, the royal
convoy has left Clarence House
831
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,350
and is now inbound in to
us here. Right. All righty.
832
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,350
Thanks, Dave. Right. Here we go. Yes.
833
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,350
I've asked Lucy Freeman to
be down in reception already
834
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,350
just to keep an eye on
things down there. Goodo.
835
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,350
So, guys, we are all set.
836
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,350
Everyone is aware that this
of all days is a day where
837
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,350
absolutely nothing can go wrong.
838
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,350
I'll just step in, shall I,
Alice? And give Tony a prod.
839
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,350
OK, fine.
840
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,350
I mean, I'm sure he's ready,
but sometimes he can
841
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,300
get into a frankly unnecessary
last-minute state about his hair.
842
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,350
Hi, yes, only me. Ready
when you are, Mr McGill.
843
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,350
Right. Good.
844
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,350
Yeah, hi, go ahead. OK. Right.
845
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,350
Where?
846
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,350
I'm not being funny or anything,
Ian, but I don't mind saying I am
847
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,350
going to need a loo at some point
848
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,350
before I meet His Royal
Highness. Yes. Right. OK.
849
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:42,350
OK, no, I've got eyes on it...
850
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,350
It's the same when I get on an
aeroplane, I don't know why it is.
851
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,350
Yes, no, well... OK, yep.
852
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,350
OK, shut it down.
853
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,350
What?
854
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,350
I say again, shut it down.
855
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:58,400
9.30, Thursday. I've got
you in. Perfect. Bye.
856
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,400
Hi, Will. Oh, yeah, hi. No, nothing.
857
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,350
So, I'm going now? Oh,
OK, right. Going where?
858
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,350
Yeah, I know, I don't mind. What?
859
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,350
But even though it's a royal
day for the BBC in general,
860
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,350
it's not such a good day for Will.
861
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,350
Yeah, like, no, they rejected my CV.
862
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,350
Yeah, like, they said aeroplanes
wasn't really a skill.
863
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,350
Will, no, but that's...
Aeroplanes? Yeah, I know, crap.
864
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:27,350
Yeah, bad luck.
865
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:28,350
Will, no.
866
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,350
The BBC HR Department has thrown
out Will's application
867
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,350
for the post of Assistant
to the Head of Values.
868
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,350
Thanks for... It's been great
to have you around. Yeah.
869
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,350
And, you know, good luck
with... Yeah, no. Good luck.
870
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,540
Yeah, thanks. Yeah, you, too.
871
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,350
Yeah, bye.
872
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,350
OK, cool. Uh...
873
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:49,350
What?
874
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,350
Would... Can I like
take a picture of you?
875
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,350
Uh, yeah, I mean...
876
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:55,350
OK, cool. I mean, where
do you want me?
877
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,350
What? Yeah, that's... Say again?
No worries, yeah, cool.
878
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,350
Here?
879
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,400
Yeah, no, crap, hang on.
880
00:43:02,350 --> 00:43:03,350
No...
881
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,350
Shall I? Yeah, no.
Do you want a hand?
882
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,350
Yeah, no, it's my own fault.
I'll take it. Crap.
883
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,350
No, Jack. I'll take both of you.
884
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,350
Well... Yeah, no, that's...
Say again? Here.
885
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,350
You're in Photos, not Camera.
886
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:14,350
Yeah, I know, crap.
887
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,350
So, who's this?
888
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,350
No, Jack, don't. It's
OK, it's OK, I'm just...
889
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,350
Give it back. Yeah, no, that's
my sister. Wow. Nice sister.
890
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,350
Yeah. Jack! It's OK, I'm
going to take it. Jack, no!
891
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,350
Who's this? Come on, it's
Will's, give it back.
892
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,700
No, who's this, with your
sister? Jack! Give it to me.
893
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:31,540
See?
894
00:43:33,350 --> 00:43:34,350
This is your sister?
895
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,350
She does like water-skiing
sometimes. She's really good.
896
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,350
I don't mean to pry... Oh, I do.
Yeah, that's OK. I really do.
897
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,350
So, who actually is this with her?
898
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,350
Oh, yeah, that's JW,
yeah. He's pretty cool.
899
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,350
JW? Yeah, Jo-Wilfried, yeah.
900
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:46,350
Jo-Wilfried? Yeah.
901
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,350
Right. See?
902
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,350
So, guys, this is going to get busy.
903
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,350
We've got a suspicious
object in the plaza.
904
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:54,350
What? OK, no.
905
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,350
But suddenly, as can
sometimes happen on days
906
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,350
when nothing can go wrong, it does.
907
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:03,350
Suspicious object. What? No
three. Outside, in the plaza.
908
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,350
Yeah, OK, copy that. Siobhan. What?
909
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,350
I'm sorry, guys, we
are in live lock-down.
910
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,350
Siobhan. OK, no. Oh, bloody great(!)
911
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,350
Who else would be carrying
a rucksack with Sue Barker's
912
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,350
head on it? I say again,
we are in live lock-down.
913
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,350
Going to have to ask you
to stay where you are.
914
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,350
No, but I know who that is.
915
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,350
Excuse me? I don't know what
the hell she's doing here,
916
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,350
but I know whose bag that is.
917
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,350
I'm sorry, Ian, the world
is full of rucksacks
918
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,350
with Sue Barker's face on
them. No, it isn't! Also...
919
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,350
That's a ridiculous thing to
say. It doesn't look right.
920
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:32,350
That's neither here nor... Apparently,
they've spelled Wimbledon wrong. God.
921
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,350
Now, in my world that's a big
red flag. No, that's deliberate.
922
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,350
What is? BBC WIN-bledon.
923
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,350
It's, uh... It's supposed
to look like that. Yes.
924
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:43,350
Look, sorry, guys... Her name is
Siobhan Sharpe. She's a PR, she's...
925
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,350
Brand BBC Consultant. Yes, exactly.
I've got her number in my phone.
926
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,350
You're telling me - she's with
us, today. Well, I mean...
927
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,350
No, she's bloody not. No,
she... I'm sorry, Ian.
928
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:55,350
This is nothing to do with her. Look,
Tracey... Yes, can she just shut up?
929
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,350
Your sister taught Jo-Wilfried Tsonga to
water-ski. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Brilliant.
930
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,350
Yeah, he didn't really want to.
Like, she was an instructor in,
931
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:06,350
I dunno, like, the Caribbean one
year. Like, it was really hot. But
he wasn't supposed to water-ski
932
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,350
because of, like, his tennis.
But she made him anyway.
933
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:12,350
Meanwhile, Izzy and Jack are coming
to terms with the possibility
that Will may have managed
934
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:16,350
to find a solution to the BBC's Wimbledon
problem by accidentally having a sister.
935
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,350
Yeah. Now when he plays at Wimbledon
they all come and stay.
936
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:20,350
What do you mean stay? Stay where?
937
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,350
Jo-Wilfred Tsonga stays at your house? In
Wimbledon? Is that where you live? Yeah.
938
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,350
I have to sleep above the garage for,
like, a fortnight. It's cool up there.
Brilliant. He's a cool guy.
939
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,350
Utterly fucking brilliant. One
time he tried to teach me, like,
a backhand but my mother left the
940
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,540
bedroom window closed and...
941
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,350
'Attention, this is a security alert.
942
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,350
'Attention, this is
a security alert.'
943
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,350
Code Seven. I say again
- Code Seven, Cafe Nero.
944
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,350
Basically, no-one leaves or...
945
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,350
No, Seven. Code Seven.
946
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,350
No, Cafe Nero is, like,
the name of the cafe.
947
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,350
With the Heir to the
Throne minutes away
948
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,350
and fast approaching fast, Dave
Green knows he can't afford
949
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:58,350
to take a risk of any kind,
whether it's a risk or not.
950
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,350
So, what we're going to do, Ian,
I need you to be clear on this,
951
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,600
we've got this individual under control
but we're going to have to...
952
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,350
'Attention, this is
a security alert.'
953
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:14,350
Right, OK. That's OK, guys.
That's normal. Normal?
954
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,350
So, the fact is, can
somebody open those?
955
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,350
So, what I'm going ask you to
do, Ian... I can't believe this.
Can we turn that thing off?
956
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:23,350
After following up Ian's potential
lead, someone has been discovered
957
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,350
in the cafe claiming to
fit Siobhan's description
958
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,350
and Dave has had an idea
for verifying her identity.
959
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,350
OK, let's do it. I'll put
her on speaker phone.
960
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,350
What do you want me to
say to her? Excuse me.
961
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,350
What do you want me to say to
her? So, you're going to ask her
962
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:41,350
to confirm her identity to you.
I know who she is - I can see her.
963
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,350
Yeah, no. That's definitely Siobhan.
'You guys are in serious shit.
964
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:50,350
'Let me go.' Siobhan. Hi, it's
Ian. 'Ian. What the fuck?'
965
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,350
I know this is completely
ridiculous but...
966
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,350
'Let go of my arm, fat face. OK?'
967
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:57,350
Siobhan, I'm going to ask you
to confirm who you are to me.
968
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,350
'What is this? Some weird shit?'
969
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:03,350
We have to do this. I have to ask
you to confirm your identity.
970
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,350
You have to tell me who you
are. 'You just said it.'
971
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,350
It's ME. What the fuck?
972
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,350
Who do you think it is? Like,
Hillary fucking Clinton?
973
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,350
'This is a security alert.' Enough?
974
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,350
'Attention, this is
a security alert.'
975
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,350
OK. And we are Code Two Clear,
all zones reset on this.
976
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:22,350
I say again - Clear, all
zones. Reset, reset, reset.
977
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,350
Right. Thank God. Let's
get on with this.
978
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,350
OK, guys, I do need the loo now. The
fact is, this door need to be open.
979
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,350
Yeah, just resetting now. OK, good.
980
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,350
So, the building knows exactly where
this handset is and depending on...
981
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,350
We haven't got much time, Dave.
Fair enough. Point taken, Ian.
982
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,350
OK - good. OK.
983
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:44,350
Locked. Ah - OK. All right.
984
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,350
For God's sake, Dave.
OK, no. I'm sorry.
985
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,400
Guys, I really do need to get out.
OK, I know what I did there.
986
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,350
Yes, no. They're here. I
think he's actually arrived.
987
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,740
Right. But where actually are you?
988
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,350
What do you mean, you can't
get out? It'll be fine, Lucy.
989
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,350
Don't panic, this will
all be OK. All right?
990
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,350
Because it will be. It has to be.
991
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,350
I am trying. Reset, reset, reset. And
in the meantime you just stay there...
992
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:30,350
They're not bloody open. No,
they're not. They're locked.
993
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,350
Richard. Hi, morning. How are you?
994
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,350
A few minutes early but
we're ready when you are.
995
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:40,350
Yeah. But in the meantime just
to check - the bollard situation?
996
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,350
Yeah, they're up. Yeah.
997
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,350
So, we didn't go down the Bulldog
Armoured Vehicle route in the end,
998
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,350
but presumably you're across that...
999
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,350
OK, will do. Yep, yep.
1000
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:53,350
He's here, OK. He's outside
now. He's arrived.
1001
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:57,350
Tony says there should be a fail-safe button
on his side. Ah, OK. Well, that's... Yes.
1002
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,350
No, there isn't one. Ah. But he
says there should be. Right, yes.
1003
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,350
Basically, they're not very happy
through there. I don't think. No.
1004
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:07,350
So, now - Command - Control - Shift -
Escape. Yeah, no. Do this now... Escape?
1005
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,350
So, get out of Security Options,
back to Zonal Preferences, and...
1006
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,350
No, do this now. OK, so
try reopening controls
1007
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,350
from system start up but
holding down Alt - Shift.
1008
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,470
You did? And what happened?
1009
00:49:20,350 --> 00:49:21,350
Right.
1010
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,350
Have you tried unplugging it at
the mains? Where does this go?
1011
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:29,350
Oh, that leads through into Old
Broadcasting House, I think. Right.
1012
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,350
Or, it used to at one
time. Doesn't open? No.
1013
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,350
No. Course not. I've
never seen it open.
1014
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,350
I'm not even sure if
it's even a real...
1015
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,400
Oh, OK. Right.
1016
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,400
That's interesting.
1017
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:00,350
Right. OK.
1018
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,350
OK, great. All right. OK.
1019
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,350
And we are Status Active here,
guys. I say again - we are...
1020
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,350
No, Dave. I'm sorry, would you mind?
1021
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,350
Yeah, I... It's just I can't think.
Yeah, I just... No, please. Shut up.
1022
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,350
The BBC Royal Greeting Party
may have finally broken free,
1023
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,350
but they now have just seven minutes
until they are due to be greeting
1024
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,350
and no time to worry about detail.
1025
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,350
Right. OK. Let's go. Hang on, guys.
1026
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,350
Not being funny or anything,
but what about Tony? Ah, right.
1027
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,350
Yes. Tony who? Tony Hall.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1028
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,350
And Simon? Yes. I mean, are
we just leaving them in there,
1029
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:33,350
or waiting, or what? Right. The fact
is, Prince Charles is here to be met
and somebody's got to meet him.
1030
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:38,350
Why don't we keep going for the moment
and see what happens with that one.
Yes, exactly. Right, OK. Yes.
1031
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,350
Because there already
was a Broadcasting House
1032
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,350
when New Broadcasting House was
literally built onto the side of it,
1033
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,350
the decision was made to call one
of them Old Broadcasting House
1034
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,350
to avoid any possible
chance of confusion.
1035
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,350
But even though they may
be only feet away from where
1036
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,350
they need to be - in another
sense they're decades away
1037
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,140
and the one thing they
don't have is time.
1038
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,350
Dave, hi. How's it looking?
'Yeah, no. Great, Richard.'
1039
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:07,350
OK, no. Just so you know, we're still looking
at quite a lot of bollard here, so...
1040
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,350
Yes, no. Understood, Richard.
We have eyes on that.
1041
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:14,350
You OK? You sound like you're running?
As I say, we're coming at you and
we are standby for Go.
1042
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,540
I say again - standby for Go.
1043
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,350
Oh, God. Have we been here
before? I don't know. Yes.
1044
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,350
Guys, can I just... No, shut up.
1045
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,350
Just see what happens in here.
1046
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:27,350
Ah, right. Good. Sorry, how do we
get back to New Broadcasting House?
1047
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,350
NBH? Reception, yes. We're
in a bit of hurry. OK. Yes.
1048
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,350
It's back that way.
Really? No, it isn't.
1049
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,400
We've just come from there.
Try that way. That way? Yeah.
1050
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,350
Right. Thank you. Yes, thank you.
1051
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,400
Yeah, no.
1052
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,350
Ah - right. OK, no. I'm
sorry. Bloody hell.
1053
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,350
The fact is, we've gone further
backwards in time. Yes. Guys, what
we need here is to go forwards.
1054
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:11,350
Yes, all right. Just to say, Ian -
four minutes Yes, thanks. Shut up.
Yeah, I say again - four minutes...
1055
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:15,350
No, I'm sorry. Shut up. I'm going to
keep going down. Right. At least then
we'll end up on the ground floor.
1056
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,350
Right. Yeah, understood. Yes, good.
1057
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,350
"Reception"! What? Reception
- there's a sign.
1058
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,740
This is good, guys. This is good.
1059
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,350
OK. OK, no. Right, that's it.
1060
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,350
OK. So, guys - this
is wrong... Shut up.
1061
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,350
I don't care, it's fine. I say again
- this is the wrong... No, shut up.
1062
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,350
We'll have a go out the
front and walk round.
1063
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:49,350
With three minutes to spare,
1064
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,350
they've managed to find their
way to the wrong Reception.
1065
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:56,350
But, in theory, it's just two hundred
yards from Old Broadcasting House
to New Broadcasting House
1066
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:59,350
where the royal convoy is
still waiting to arrive.
1067
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:03,350
Hi, guys. Yes, hi. Can I help you,
sir. Yes. We're in a bit of a hurry,
we need to get round to the
1068
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,350
other Reception. That's not possible,
sir. No. We have a VIP visitor
inbound. Yes, no. I know.
1069
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,350
We're meeting him. I'm sorry,
sir, we are in live lock-down.
1070
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,350
But we're meeting him.
Right. OK. Sorry, guys.
1071
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,350
It's thanks partly to Dave
himself that the fool-proof
1072
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,350
zonal lock-down system
is designed to favour
1073
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,350
neither man nor fool equally.
1074
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,350
This is a Code Seven -
Exceptional Circumstances.
1075
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,350
We are Code Two - Live Lock-Down,
sir. Right, listen...
1076
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,400
Right, OK. Forget it.
1077
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,350
Ian, hi. Where are you?
1078
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:35,350
So, there's a security guy - a royal
security guy - Richard Cartwright...
1079
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,350
Yes? He's probably outside.
1080
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,470
Yes, I think I can see him.
1081
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,350
Hi. Hi. Yeah, hi, yes.
It's Lucy Freeman, hi.
1082
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,350
Right. And you are.. I'm just... I work
with... I basically... Yeah, never mind.
1083
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:00,350
What the hell's going on in there?
Yes, no. They're coming now. I'm
here already, so that's one -
1084
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,350
and the others are just grouping up before
they arrive. Grouping up? Yes. What are they?
1085
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,350
The bloody Red Arrows?
Ha - Yes, I know. Yes.
1086
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,350
Hello? Hello? Ian!
1087
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,350
Hello? Ah!
1088
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,350
I'm sorry, Ian. I did
go to the loo. Right.
1089
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,400
I think it's probably the excitement.
Yes. So... Through here.
1090
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,350
Christ. I know. It was a fluke, OK.
But this leads right out into...
1091
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,350
Right. Yes, no. I know. I'm
not being funny or anything -
1092
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:33,070
but she can't half
shift in those heels.
1093
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,350
But then I did actually
go in a helicopter once.
1094
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,740
Right. I didn't like it. No. Yes.
1095
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:47,350
Right, OK. OK. This is good, guys.
OK? I say again - this is good.
1096
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,400
No. Can you shut up, please. No
running, OK. No running. OK. No
running here, guys. OK? No running.
1097
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:03,350
What happened? No, I can't - it doesn't matter.
Are you OK? Yes, I'm... Yes, he's fine.
1098
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,350
Guys, are we in a Go state?
Any news of Tony and Simon?
1099
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,400
Alice just phoned. They're still
stuck in his office. Right. Right.
OK, good. OK, let's do it.
1100
00:55:19,350 --> 00:55:20,350
Outside, it's now 12 o'clock,
1101
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,350
which is exactly the time
it's supposed to be.
1102
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,350
But Dick Cartwright and the
rest of the royal party
1103
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,400
are aware that time is still passing
- literally, by the minute.
1104
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,350
Meanwhile, inside - what's left
of the official greeting party -
1105
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,350
has at last made it to its
official greeting position.
1106
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:45,350
This is it.
1107
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:49,350
All that's necessary now is
for nothing else to go wrong.
1108
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:50,350
Hey, guys. Siobhan.
1109
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,350
I made it, they let me go.
1110
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:55,400
All right. No. I'm sorry. So,
let's do this. Let's get royal.
1111
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,350
The fact is, this is this is
not happening. It totally is.
1112
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,350
No, it is not. No, but there's
a list, I'm afraid, Siobhan.
1113
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,350
A list, yes. Yes. No, sure.
A list went to Clarence House.
1114
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,350
No, sure. I'm on it. There really...
What do you mean, you're on it?
1115
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,350
No, I'm sorry. You are
not, Siobhan. I mean, how?
1116
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,350
It's a list, OK. I'm on it. QVC.
1117
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:33,350
What?! Right, OK. Fine.
1118
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,350
But back outside, Dave Green
has won his battle with the last
1119
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:40,400
remaining rising bollard and
the visit is finally under way.
1120
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,350
With the royal Range Rover now
in place, it's time for someone
1121
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:49,540
to come outside and greet it.
1122
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,350
The only unknown left now is
exactly who that's going to be.
1123
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,350
I mean, it should be Ian,
surely? Well, no. I don't...
1124
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:58,350
Just to say, that's a Go,
guys. Yes, thanks, Dave.
1125
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,350
Let's just do this. The fact
is... No, we really need to...
1126
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,600
No, I'm sorry. Duh! Right, OK.
1127
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,400
Right, OK.
1128
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,400
It isn't me, you're pushing it.
1129
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,350
Ian Fletcher, Head of BBC Values.
1130
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,800
Your Royal Highness. Welcome
to New Broadcasting House.
1131
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,350
I try and laugh several
times a day just bec...
1132
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,350
cos it makes you feel good.
102300
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