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1
00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:11,372
Hello, hello.. 3, 2, 1.. Mic testing!
2
00:02:11,557 --> 00:02:13,063
Attention!
All of Chandni Chowk's couch potatoes
3
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:15,819
are hereby invited to
Senior Sharma's sweet shop.
4
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:18,532
We are handing out free Churros.
5
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,841
Get off the phone, you twerp!
6
00:02:20,996 --> 00:02:23,592
Sharma Senior, let the sassy spoon be,
here's the mic..
7
00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:25,252
Introduce them to your son!
8
00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:26,565
Friends,
9
00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:29,543
It's a dream of every sweet-maker.
10
00:02:29,763 --> 00:02:31,114
That his son..
11
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,252
Becomes an even
bigger sweet-maker...
12
00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:35,556
And that day, has finally come..
13
00:02:37,184 --> 00:02:40,294
I gift my son this sassy spoon.
14
00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,058
"Hold it tight my son."
15
00:02:42,272 --> 00:02:45,828
And thus begin the 'making of the
sweet-maker ceremony!'
16
00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:54,785
Congratulations Sharma Junior.
17
00:02:55,135 --> 00:02:59,457
Make sure you add beef flavored
Churros to the new menu!
18
00:02:59,582 --> 00:03:01,186
He is right!
19
00:03:01,917 --> 00:03:05,605
Lord Phikaner is here!
Lord Phikaner is here!
20
00:03:11,614 --> 00:03:13,412
My Sire. My Sire!
21
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,457
You are blessed!
22
00:03:16,123 --> 00:03:18,504
Welcome to our small
sweet-maker's community.
23
00:03:19,292 --> 00:03:20,417
Fry till your sweat makes
the oil crackle!
24
00:03:20,541 --> 00:03:21,532
Victory to our mother!
25
00:03:21,916 --> 00:03:24,861
Down boy.. Down!
26
00:03:24,923 --> 00:03:27,301
- Sweet boy!
- Come!
27
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,028
Fry your first Churros...
28
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,945
- And make me proud!
- Sharma Senior!
29
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,922
Please croon your famous sales pitch.
30
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,680
Sharma's Churros.
31
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,927
Ten bucks for two!
32
00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:38,431
Sharma's Churros.
33
00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:39,808
Ten bucks for two!
34
00:03:40,122 --> 00:03:41,081
Sharma's Churros.
35
00:03:41,178 --> 00:03:42,595
Ten bucks for two!
36
00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:43,996
Sharma's Churros.
37
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,277
Ten bucks for two!
38
00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:47,328
Dad!
39
00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:49,244
Can I take a leak?
40
00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:50,973
No problem.
41
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,498
His nerves are acting up..
Go son.. sprinkle hard!
42
00:03:54,232 --> 00:03:54,941
Sharma senior..
43
00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:56,418
Once more please!
44
00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:57,948
Sharma's Churros.
45
00:03:58,007 --> 00:03:59,360
Ten bucks for two!
46
00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:00,831
Sharma's Churros.
47
00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,156
I will not make Churros!
48
00:04:37,074 --> 00:04:38,907
So what will you do in Mumbai'?
49
00:04:39,731 --> 00:04:40,668
I will make Films!
50
00:04:55,888 --> 00:04:58,899
Kiddo. We only make religious films.
51
00:04:59,151 --> 00:05:01,650
Like 'Eyes of the good gody god'
52
00:05:01,775 --> 00:05:03,575
'Blades of the good lordy lord'
53
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,073
Super Spider Iron man is
equal to HANUMAN!
54
00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,549
You got something like that?
55
00:05:17,422 --> 00:05:20,051
I love blowing.. Flutes!
56
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:23,222
And the
one that blows the best.
57
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,125
Gets to make a film..
58
00:05:26,604 --> 00:05:27,826
Handsome!
59
00:05:27,885 --> 00:05:29,783
What is your plan. tonight?
60
00:05:33,546 --> 00:05:34,508
Look kiddo!
61
00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,401
Blockbusters are made
by stars!
62
00:05:37,132 --> 00:05:38,288
You get those bastards.
63
00:05:38,411 --> 00:05:40,243
I'll get you the film... OK?
64
00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:50,219
- Dude!
- One burger!
65
00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,627
Shetty Sisters give way to new talent...
66
00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,585
Get a
story.. Take a film!
67
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:05,202
Last date of submission 14th February?
68
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,864
Love struck like a hurricane.
69
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,679
Shook the world and gave it pain!
70
00:06:20,741 --> 00:06:23,534
Love struck like a hurricane.
71
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,021
Shook the world and gave it pain!
72
00:06:28,837 --> 00:06:36,999
Stay away from love, the
sight is disgusting..
73
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:44,226
Like a monkey in your bed
with a happy ending!
74
00:06:44,386 --> 00:06:46,765
Love struck like a hurricane.
75
00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:49,325
Shook the world and gave it pain!
76
00:06:49,378 --> 00:06:50,851
Stop! I can't clench my butt
no more!
77
00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,234
You son of your sister!
78
00:06:52,289 --> 00:06:54,156
Do I look like a beggar to you?
79
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,741
Who else will sing in a
bus.. Frank Sinatra?
80
00:06:58,273 --> 00:07:00,587
Oh! I wish your mother goes to a
brothel!
81
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,343
Do you even know who I am?
82
00:07:02,498 --> 00:07:04,264
I am Paddi Singh!
83
00:07:04,351 --> 00:07:06,271
A very famous folk singer.
84
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,368
Sister with a turtle neck!
85
00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:10,535
I came to Mumbai to show my talent!
86
00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,482
But this city is Evil!
87
00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:42,724
Move aside. . Fart face!
88
00:07:45,725 --> 00:07:46,630
Hey bro!
89
00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:47,963
Bro!
90
00:07:48,796 --> 00:07:49,602
Yo..Stinky boy!
91
00:07:49,753 --> 00:07:50,562
Yo..Stinky boy!
92
00:07:50,618 --> 00:07:51,644
What do you want?
93
00:07:51,707 --> 00:07:53,376
Don't be scared brother!
94
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:55,493
I am an artist just like you
95
00:07:55,803 --> 00:07:57,537
I can see hunger in your eyes!
96
00:07:58,618 --> 00:07:59,939
Do you wanna eat something?
97
00:07:59,994 --> 00:08:00,604
Yes.
98
00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:03,739
Enough Sir! I'll die of high blood
pressure.
99
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:05,122
Eat.
100
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,058
I have been toyed enough
by these recording companies!
101
00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,677
I am off to my village
and back to farming!
102
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:14,304
Anyway. what do you do?
103
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,891
Well.. I have been trying to make a
film.
104
00:08:17,432 --> 00:08:18,850
Only recently someone's face.
105
00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:20,183
Gave me an idea!
106
00:08:20,246 --> 00:08:21,121
Congratulations Sir!
107
00:08:21,174 --> 00:08:22,363
Whose face is it?
108
00:08:25,399 --> 00:08:26,142
Yours!
109
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,420
My face?
110
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,783
You ought to be joking!
111
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:31,069
No.. No.. It's true.
112
00:08:31,253 --> 00:08:33,174
Look my boy.. you will
become a Star!
113
00:08:33,494 --> 00:08:37,629
But this captivating face..
But not by your nightmarish voice.
114
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,352
What is so intriguing about
my gorgeous face?
115
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:48,951
Osama!
116
00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:54,170
You will be the Osama Bin
Laden of my film!
117
00:08:58,451 --> 00:08:59,509
One minute Sir!
118
00:09:02,705 --> 00:09:03,578
Listen to me!
119
00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:05,108
Your life will change!
120
00:09:05,138 --> 00:09:07,058
Every street will have your posters!
121
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,430
I'll give you five
million rupees in cash too!
122
00:09:09,555 --> 00:09:11,507
Atleast tell me your name?
123
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,745
Singh..
124
00:09:14,351 --> 00:09:15,989
Paddi Singh!
125
00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:26,357
Imagine this Shetty Sisters!
126
00:09:26,545 --> 00:09:29,403
A man wants to become a world
famous journalist.
127
00:09:29,455 --> 00:09:33,393
Suddenly, he meets an
Osama look alike.
128
00:09:34,862 --> 00:09:37,175
He hatches a plan and releases
a fake Osama tape.
129
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,997
Creating a
havoc in the world!
130
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,734
By the way.. I have even found
an Osama look alike!
131
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,548
Paddi.
132
00:09:49,612 --> 00:09:50,736
Slide In.. Quick!
133
00:09:51,308 --> 00:09:52,269
Stop.
134
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,300
Turn..
135
00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,091
- Hey Soul Sisters!
- Profile.
136
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:56,179
Walk.
137
00:10:01,419 --> 00:10:03,765
And the name of
this film will be..
138
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:06,064
'Tere Bin Laden'
139
00:10:15,753 --> 00:10:17,139
AIL.
140
00:10:17,257 --> 00:10:19,057
The shot's ready for an hour!
141
00:10:19,178 --> 00:10:19,984
AIL.
142
00:10:24,904 --> 00:10:25,811
AIL.
143
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,946
Why is he acting so starry..
Is this not his first film as well?
144
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:41,675
Mind blowing Ali..
145
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,279
One more!
146
00:10:43,365 --> 00:10:45,799
You will not get eggs
like mine in the world.
147
00:10:46,789 --> 00:10:48,043
Feel them in your hands!
148
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:49,258
And cut it!
149
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,792
Location change!
150
00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:53,258
We will make him..
151
00:10:53,508 --> 00:10:55,853
Look like Osama and make a fake tape.
152
00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:57,031
And Action.
153
00:10:57,509 --> 00:11:01,413
Oh all mighty! Save me!
154
00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:03,109
Keep your mouth shut!
155
00:11:03,236 --> 00:11:05,582
Forget the mouth..
What about my eyes?
156
00:11:06,051 --> 00:11:08,103
I'm a method actor.
157
00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:10,854
And I'm doing Osama's
make-up in the film.
158
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,695
To prepare myself. I pasted
Osama's posters all over my trailer!
159
00:11:14,913 --> 00:11:17,676
I wanna absorb his face!
160
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:28,420
I haven't written Arabic in this
film..
161
00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:30,442
I'm just acting!
162
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:33,220
I swear on my virginity.. I have
nothing against Osama!
163
00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:35,107
Please emphasize this!
164
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,775
Rahul Singh..
165
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,468
Is not a mimicry artist!
166
00:11:46,527 --> 00:11:47,432
I'm an actor.
167
00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,156
Well, I do mimic sometimes for fun!
168
00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:52,573
When Sharma begged me to mimic
Osama. Out of pity I agreed!
169
00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:03,870
No Sikandan. No...
170
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,016
Cut it! The rooster blew
up late..One more!
171
00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:12,421
No Sikandan. No...
172
00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:14,429
Damn it! This time it blew up
early.. One more!
173
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:20,800
Yo bud! Collect the leg pieces..
Might as well have breakfast!
174
00:12:37,688 --> 00:12:39,041
Greetings friends!
175
00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:40,994
Breaking news!
176
00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:42,265
Bollywood film!
177
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,023
Tere Bin Laden. makes a big
noise at the box office..
178
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:49,756
People have accepted the portrayal of a fake
Osama in superstar Ali Zafar's debut film..
179
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:52,481
Is this not Cultural Terrorism?
180
00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:58,458
Our question goes out to the makers of this
film about an International Terrorist.
181
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,510
Where is the real Osama?
182
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,666
L, Khaleeli.
183
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,415
Harkat-e-Mansha a.k.a HARMAN
Commander of terror group,
184
00:13:19,571 --> 00:13:23,444
Declare open the
'Olympics of Terror'
185
00:13:24,497 --> 00:13:28,218
The winners will become a part of
our Suicide Bombing Squad!
186
00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:30,039
Till death blows us apart!
187
00:13:31,795 --> 00:13:34,902
Long Live Harman with a deep bass.
Long live Harman's terror!
188
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,419
Long Live Harman squeeze a bomb..
Long live Harman's terror!
189
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,786
Long Live Harman with a booty shake.
Long live Harman's terror!
190
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,300
Tvvinke twinkle little stat.
Long live Harman's terror!
191
00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:48,566
Up above the world so high..
Long live Harman's terror!
192
00:13:48,975 --> 00:13:52,184
We wish to blast like a big bang.
This is our heavenly plan!
193
00:13:52,239 --> 00:13:55,730
Long Live Harman with a deep bass.
Long live Harman's terror!
194
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,966
Long Live Harman with a deep bass.
Long live Harman's terror!
195
00:13:59,118 --> 00:14:02,423
Long Live Harman with a deep bass.
Long live Harman's terror!
196
00:14:02,605 --> 00:14:05,584
Long Live Harman with a deep bass.
Long live Harman's terror!
197
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,038
And the gun shot begins the
"bomb relay"
198
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:38,451
Ashraf pocket's the bomb!
199
00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:40,044
Hamid throws it at Jaanu!
200
00:14:40,106 --> 00:14:42,124
And he attains the heaven above!
201
00:14:44,201 --> 00:14:45,137
Hey“.
202
00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:47,054
Kids aren't allowed Cutie!
203
00:14:47,111 --> 00:14:48,172
Really.
204
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,500
Your mother didn't hold the same
opinion, when I pounded her recently!
205
00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:54,413
See this. you prick!
206
00:14:57,223 --> 00:14:58,641
NAME: Daaga.
207
00:14:58,951 --> 00:15:00,391
AGE: 35!
208
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:02,448
I am sorry
brother but.
209
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,449
There is a minimum height
requirement, for these games!
210
00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:19,269
Now the Landmine Jump.
Zoravar takes a huge leap.
211
00:15:20,259 --> 00:15:23,948
Unfortunately, he is a blast
from the past!
212
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,856
Now the most awaited game of
Olympics of Terror..
213
00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:29,926
The grenade throw!
214
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,003
That's a herculean effort.
215
00:15:33,572 --> 00:15:35,557
Bulla! He will be my personal masseur.
216
00:15:46,561 --> 00:15:49,988
And why are we not shooting here?
217
00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:15,071
This suicide jacket has been
personally autographed by Osama!
218
00:16:15,231 --> 00:16:19,102
The winner was to get it..
But none of you are worthy of it!
219
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,254
Sir!
220
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:23,741
Please. Give me a chance
221
00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:29,084
American Eagle!
222
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:30,020
Run!
223
00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,588
Bulla, help me!
224
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,406
Daddy's on your ass.
225
00:17:18,294 --> 00:17:20,640
God dang. Lucky bastards!
226
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:37,211
Paddi. Come in!
227
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:40,696
This party is in our honour..
228
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,549
Straighten your broach.
229
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:43,642
Sir!
230
00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:45,115
Thank you!
231
00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:46,394
Paddi. Star look..
232
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,537
Can I see your invite?
233
00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:54,748
Invite?
234
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:58,770
Kiddo... I am the director of this
film and this is the star.
235
00:17:58,929 --> 00:18:00,249
'The Paddi.
236
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,817
I don't care if he is the president!
237
00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:03,089
No invite! No entry!
238
00:18:03,186 --> 00:18:05,301
Let me explain..This success party.
239
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,299
Is in my honour..
240
00:18:06,481 --> 00:18:08,399
After all I am the
director of this film.
241
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:09,523
Guard.
242
00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:11,152
Let them come..
243
00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:12,720
They are my film crew!
244
00:18:15,535 --> 00:18:16,789
These guards I tell you.
245
00:18:16,975 --> 00:18:18,709
Paddi.
246
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,336
L-low are things back in the village'?
247
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,199
- Good!
- Sharma.
248
00:18:22,254 --> 00:18:24,403
Are you thankful that I made your
puny film a blockbuster!
249
00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:29,400
It's a pain to be a star..
These producers don't let you breathe!
250
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:30,129
Paddi.
251
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,478
If he calls, just tell them
'the boss' is busy.
252
00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:32,531
Yes Boss!
253
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:34,100
You guys look a bit lost.
254
00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,823
First time at a success party.
255
00:18:36,171 --> 00:18:38,703
Don't worry just follow me.
256
00:18:41,452 --> 00:18:42,838
What the hell? Star look!
257
00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:44,725
Hey! Serve this around!
258
00:18:45,259 --> 00:18:46,897
Do I look like a
waiter to you? Buzz off!
259
00:18:47,146 --> 00:18:50,257
Ladies and Ladies.
260
00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:55,154
Thanks to
your love and my stardom.
261
00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:57,129
Tere Bin Laden is a Hit!
262
00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:01,939
It had to..
263
00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:04,718
That is why the producers,
264
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:07,374
Shetty Sisters and I announce.
265
00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:09,325
The sequel..
266
00:19:09,446 --> 00:19:12,490
Tere Bin Laden 2!
267
00:19:14,247 --> 00:19:21,776
This time we will do something bigger!
A Striptease by India's dancing sensation!
268
00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:24,622
Action.
269
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:25,935
Drama.
270
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:26,983
Comedy. Tragedy.
271
00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:29,840
Girls.. Girls.. And Girls.
272
00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:32,042
A bigger canvas!
273
00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:33,870
And an even bigger director.
274
00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:37,134
Like.. Karan Johar!
275
00:19:41,894 --> 00:19:45,002
He's a good looking "jackass".
276
00:19:49,092 --> 00:19:52,103
He's a good looking "jackass".
277
00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:55,403
He's a good looking "jackass".
278
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,000
He's a jackass indeed!
279
00:19:58,179 --> 00:19:58,888
Sir..
280
00:19:59,426 --> 00:20:00,845
I kept giving a star look..
281
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:04,578
But nobody even recognised me..
And now my eyes hurt!
282
00:20:06,049 --> 00:20:06,594
Paddi.
283
00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,960
Nobody cares even if you were a
blind street monger!
284
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:10,818
What about me?!
285
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,353
I gave up everything.
286
00:20:14,242 --> 00:20:15,780
Those dark alleys of Chandini chovvk..
287
00:20:16,384 --> 00:20:17,377
My dad's. Uh..
288
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:18,722
Flourishing business..
289
00:20:19,424 --> 00:20:20,776
F' ush pars Love Letters!
290
00:20:21,536 --> 00:20:23,106
Now when I was so close to my dream.
291
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,520
Ali swept it from me..
292
00:20:24,575 --> 00:20:26,244
And stole my limelight!
293
00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:28,095
Sir..
294
00:20:28,158 --> 00:20:29,282
Now bury the hatchet.
295
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,945
Screw the sequel!
296
00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:33,254
I don't want to be Osama any more!
297
00:20:33,663 --> 00:20:34,819
Anyway...
298
00:20:35,198 --> 00:20:37,664
You clear my accounts and off
I go.. back to my village!
299
00:20:37,726 --> 00:20:39,679
Why are we getting into accounts?
300
00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:41,443
Don't get emotional!
301
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,399
And if you
leave this film..
302
00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,437
This film can't be made.
303
00:20:47,773 --> 00:20:49,377
If you leave this film..
304
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,134
This film can't be made.
305
00:20:51,229 --> 00:20:52,385
You can leave this film..
306
00:20:52,572 --> 00:20:54,372
But you are not going
to leave this film.
307
00:20:54,907 --> 00:20:57,308
So am I doing it or not?
308
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:42,296
AbottabacL.
309
00:21:46,996 --> 00:21:47,989
Shetty Sisters!
310
00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:49,525
The time is ripe to
think big!
311
00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:50,364
Imagine!
312
00:21:50,421 --> 00:21:51,807
Tere Bin Laden franchise.
313
00:21:51,861 --> 00:21:53,466
Tere Bin Laden TV series..
314
00:21:53,526 --> 00:21:53,918
Toys“.
315
00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:54,550
Cartoons.
316
00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:55,604
Comics.
Video Games.
317
00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:56,824
Tere Bin Laden sequel..
318
00:21:57,074 --> 00:21:57,785
Prequel to the sequel..
319
00:21:58,036 --> 00:21:58,711
Sequel to
the prequel..
320
00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:01,565
And finally remakes of all of
them in Hollywood!
321
00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:04,340
And the face of this franchise.
322
00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:06,007
The brand ambassador.
323
00:22:06,066 --> 00:22:07,059
The Paddi!
324
00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:08,693
Aka... Osama.
325
00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:11,450
Shetty Sisters.
326
00:22:11,635 --> 00:22:12,953
I will definitely do
this sequel..
327
00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,876
But now I want to become a superstan.
328
00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:17,624
So I demand that you kick Ali out ..
329
00:22:17,745 --> 00:22:19,130
Fire him!
330
00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:24,504
Sir..
331
00:22:24,528 --> 00:22:27,288
They are nodding
their heads vigorously..
332
00:22:28,272 --> 00:22:32,692
OK then! No sweat in my pants.
Make Ali look like Osama!
333
00:22:34,864 --> 00:22:36,084
Baby Message.
334
00:22:36,143 --> 00:22:37,364
Who is it?
335
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:38,645
Shetty Sisters.
336
00:22:38,703 --> 00:22:39,662
Read it.
337
00:22:39,727 --> 00:22:41,199
You are fired!
338
00:22:43,118 --> 00:22:45,234
Press my stress point!
339
00:22:45,422 --> 00:22:47,408
Mr. Sharma. One bite!
340
00:22:47,662 --> 00:22:50,095
Have you booted out
Ali from the sequel?
341
00:22:50,893 --> 00:22:54,102
Who is gonna carry the dead weight
of this half paralyzed film?
342
00:22:55,277 --> 00:22:56,629
Osama!
343
00:22:58,508 --> 00:23:00,493
Tere Bin Laden 2..
344
00:23:00,844 --> 00:23:02,349
Opening Shot.
345
00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:03,380
And..
346
00:23:03,436 --> 00:23:04,428
Action.
347
00:23:08,141 --> 00:23:08,980
Cut it!
348
00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:11,118
It's swinging too much!
349
00:23:11,274 --> 00:23:12,235
Get him down!
350
00:23:12,395 --> 00:23:14,130
Sir, help!
351
00:23:14,155 --> 00:23:15,279
Where is everyone?
352
00:23:18,026 --> 00:23:21,104
What is going on?
353
00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:23,794
Why are all of you standing
as if at a funeral? Who died?
354
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:24,849
Osama!
355
00:23:26,794 --> 00:23:27,917
- Pardon?
- Sir!
356
00:23:28,425 --> 00:23:29,516
Sir!
357
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,377
Get me down!
358
00:23:32,138 --> 00:23:33,642
Paddi. We are screwed!
359
00:23:33,896 --> 00:23:34,475
What?
360
00:23:34,504 --> 00:23:35,377
Sequel can't be made.
361
00:23:35,432 --> 00:23:37,777
Speak loudly! Why have you
made me Superman!
362
00:23:37,831 --> 00:23:39,272
I'm sure Ali cursed us!
363
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,688
Stop swinging me!
364
00:23:41,831 --> 00:23:45,191
Stop dry humping the air Paddi!
Sequel is dead!
365
00:23:45,446 --> 00:23:47,662
Osama is DEAD!
366
00:23:49,351 --> 00:23:51,249
Breaking news..
367
00:23:51,303 --> 00:23:54,160
Osama Bin Laden is dead!
368
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:56,361
The face that terrorized
the whole world..
369
00:23:56,549 --> 00:23:58,950
Has been sprayed with
American bullets!
370
00:23:59,013 --> 00:24:01,162
Now the only question standing.
371
00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,882
What will happen.
Without you Bin Laden?
372
00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:05,256
Yes!
373
00:24:05,926 --> 00:24:07,530
You heard it right!
374
00:24:07,909 --> 00:24:10,056
Osama is DEAD!
375
00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,526
DEAD!
376
00:24:11,652 --> 00:24:12,558
DEAD!
377
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:13,805
DEAD!
378
00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:15,268
DEAD!
379
00:24:15,427 --> 00:24:16,269
DEAD!
380
00:25:11,741 --> 00:25:12,799
DEAD!
381
00:25:12,892 --> 00:25:14,878
Love struck like a hurricane.
382
00:25:15,132 --> 00:25:17,662
Shook the world and gave it pain!
383
00:25:17,755 --> 00:25:20,002
Love struck like a hurricane.
384
00:25:20,314 --> 00:25:22,464
Shook the world and gave it pain!
385
00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,168
Proof?
386
00:25:33,785 --> 00:25:34,460
DEAD!
387
00:25:43,384 --> 00:25:47,583
Pressure is mounting on America
to prove that Osama is dead!
388
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,321
The world wants to see the video
where Osama was killed!
389
00:25:52,982 --> 00:25:54,520
Sir.. Listen to me!
390
00:25:54,935 --> 00:25:56,572
What are you doing Paddi?
391
00:25:57,335 --> 00:25:58,273
Sir!
392
00:25:58,326 --> 00:25:59,998
Osama is dead in the sea!
393
00:26:00,056 --> 00:26:02,171
And the sequel is dead in the rubble!
394
00:26:02,549 --> 00:26:05,660
Trust me! Trying to chase
stardom is stupid!
395
00:26:06,581 --> 00:26:07,608
Anyway...
396
00:26:08,374 --> 00:26:11,679
You just clear my accounts and
off I go to my village!
397
00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:16,213
Paddi! Why are the accounts
coming up?
398
00:26:16,915 --> 00:26:19,001
I am the director of a hit film!
399
00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:20,924
I will not give up so easily.
400
00:26:21,108 --> 00:26:24,315
Once this Osama's death dies out.
401
00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:26,046
Producers will be
calling me non-stop!
402
00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:27,605
- Really!
- Obviously!
403
00:26:28,916 --> 00:26:30,422
Holy Milk of a cow.. It's ringing!
404
00:26:30,802 --> 00:26:34,326
Pick it up.. And put it on speaker!
405
00:26:37,202 --> 00:26:38,194
Hello..
406
00:26:40,561 --> 00:26:41,947
Sharma.
407
00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:46,169
L-low does it feel to have your
self respect tarnished?
408
00:26:46,737 --> 00:26:50,577
L-low dare you chuck me off
the film, you piece of crap!
409
00:26:50,993 --> 00:26:54,964
I hope you realize how unworthy
your existence is.
410
00:26:55,696 --> 00:26:56,788
Oh Yes!
411
00:26:57,201 --> 00:26:59,481
Ask your tone deaf villager
to put his head between
412
00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,521
between his legs and
run back to his farm!
413
00:27:02,159 --> 00:27:03,991
ShitWit!
414
00:27:07,054 --> 00:27:07,896
Sir..
415
00:27:08,014 --> 00:27:09,171
Sir.. Sir..
416
00:27:09,231 --> 00:27:12,024
No! Don't jump! Don't!
417
00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:15,955
Stop overacting Paddi!
418
00:27:16,012 --> 00:27:17,551
Might hurt your tender knees.
419
00:27:17,614 --> 00:27:19,381
I have to turn the game now..
420
00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,561
I'll return in a bit!
421
00:27:20,781 --> 00:27:23,410
Can you get some Broccoli
on the way back?
422
00:27:23,597 --> 00:27:24,534
Buzz off!
423
00:27:24,652 --> 00:27:28,818
Harkat-e-Mansha shut down!
Harkat-e-Mansha shut down!
424
00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:32,203
Shame on you Khaleeli!
425
00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:35,595
Your bombs and arms are all dud!
No point of Terrorism without blood!
426
00:27:35,659 --> 00:27:36,595
Quiet!
427
00:27:36,651 --> 00:27:39,379
- For the sake of terrorism.
- Listen to me please!
428
00:27:39,435 --> 00:27:40,690
Why should we listen?
429
00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:44,555
Your suicide bombers are
not bursting properly!
430
00:27:44,810 --> 00:27:47,372
Instead they turn into
a fireworks display!
431
00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:48,720
Look at him..
432
00:27:49,385 --> 00:27:51,371
Burning like a candle in the wind!
433
00:27:52,457 --> 00:27:55,218
We signed up to be blown into
martyrdom. But in vain!
434
00:27:55,466 --> 00:27:56,240
Now compensate!
435
00:27:56,298 --> 00:27:58,096
We need compensation!
436
00:27:58,249 --> 00:28:00,975
We need compensation. Compensation!
437
00:28:02,376 --> 00:28:03,946
After the death of Osama.
438
00:28:04,262 --> 00:28:06,609
The cost of arms and ammunition
has gone up ten folds..
439
00:28:06,664 --> 00:28:09,195
So we are using gun powder of
one grenade into three!
440
00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:11,600
That's why you are not
attaining heaven..
441
00:28:11,718 --> 00:28:16,105
Let me assure you that we are a
passionate terrorist group!
442
00:28:16,902 --> 00:28:18,440
Give us one last chance!
443
00:28:18,886 --> 00:28:24,047
Tonight we have a special screening of
some great tapes of Osama bin Laden.
444
00:28:24,421 --> 00:28:27,299
Also, we are serving
dinner and drinks.
445
00:28:27,459 --> 00:28:29,643
So kindly join us for
an Osama Retrospective
446
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,654
and make peace with our great loss!
447
00:30:41,044 --> 00:30:42,103
Did you give our gifts?
448
00:30:42,164 --> 00:30:44,248
No! They almost shoved
it up my butt!
449
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:47,162
No one is ready to accept our arms!
450
00:30:49,621 --> 00:30:52,183
No sweat! Atleast they are here..
451
00:30:52,371 --> 00:30:55,480
Now you see, how Osama's face
gets us a rain of donations!
452
00:31:04,305 --> 00:31:05,842
Hey hottie!
453
00:31:05,969 --> 00:31:08,632
Do you wanna get lucky tonight?
454
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,386
It's a scandal!
455
00:31:10,609 --> 00:31:13,522
It's fake! Burn it down!
456
00:31:13,841 --> 00:31:15,476
What happened Sir?
457
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:20,984
You didn't like it?
458
00:31:24,111 --> 00:31:25,235
I swear!
459
00:31:25,390 --> 00:31:27,190
I made a big mistake!
460
00:31:27,246 --> 00:31:30,902
My son added a cheap Bollywood
film to the Osama tapes.
461
00:31:30,959 --> 00:31:32,115
But what to do Sir!
462
00:31:32,175 --> 00:31:35,895
This clown has an uncanny
resemblance to Osama.
463
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,687
It could fool anyone!
464
00:31:43,309 --> 00:31:44,148
Stop!
465
00:31:46,382 --> 00:31:49,141
Get all these jokers here!
466
00:31:50,156 --> 00:31:52,534
We need to send a
message to the world..
467
00:31:52,779 --> 00:31:55,605
Osama is still.. A LIVE.
468
00:33:00,290 --> 00:33:01,732
My name is David Cheddar.
469
00:33:07,459 --> 00:33:08,616
My name is David Cheddar.
470
00:33:08,675 --> 00:33:09,830
My name is David Cheddar.
471
00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:12,835
My name is David Chadha. dha. dha.
472
00:33:13,441 --> 00:33:14,401
Sounds right now!
473
00:33:16,993 --> 00:33:18,434
Hello Mr. Paddi.
474
00:33:19,234 --> 00:33:21,732
Myself, David Chadha.
475
00:33:22,274 --> 00:33:25,700
And I want to.. KILL YOU!
476
00:33:32,703 --> 00:33:36,129
Please come in!
Consider it your own house.
477
00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:37,635
This is my bedroom.
478
00:33:37,727 --> 00:33:43,336
Where I personally cast all my actors!
479
00:33:44,221 --> 00:33:47,844
This is the living room where
I wrote my first film!
480
00:33:47,998 --> 00:33:49,023
Very positive vibes!
481
00:33:49,086 --> 00:33:51,944
And this is the bathroom
where I got my first.
482
00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:53,732
Naked Man!
483
00:33:54,621 --> 00:33:55,646
Hello Ma'am!
484
00:33:58,843 --> 00:34:00,449
No.. Positive vibes..
485
00:34:00,636 --> 00:34:02,370
Paddi. What is wrong with you?
486
00:34:02,492 --> 00:34:04,129
I told you not to be home today!
487
00:34:04,572 --> 00:34:05,826
See, the party ran off..
488
00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:07,902
Now how will I sell this house?
489
00:34:08,028 --> 00:34:09,151
What are you saying?
490
00:34:09,211 --> 00:34:10,880
You forced me to sell my
farm to buy this house!
491
00:34:10,938 --> 00:34:12,925
Now if you sell the house..
Where will we go?
492
00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:16,738
You don't get it..
If I don't sell this house..
493
00:34:16,794 --> 00:34:18,398
L-low will I complete my film'?
494
00:34:18,425 --> 00:34:20,258
And how will I make you a star?
495
00:34:24,217 --> 00:34:26,017
Must be another party.
496
00:34:26,073 --> 00:34:29,019
Please wrap a towel and stay inside.
497
00:34:32,759 --> 00:34:34,909
Mr. Tuteja! Please come in!
498
00:34:34,968 --> 00:34:36,256
Mr. Chadha not Tuteja.
499
00:34:36,312 --> 00:34:39,772
What's in the name sir...
I am just selling the house.
500
00:34:41,399 --> 00:34:43,265
I don't want this house!
501
00:34:43,765 --> 00:34:45,686
Myself, David Chadha!
502
00:34:45,782 --> 00:34:47,420
Film Producer!
503
00:34:47,605 --> 00:34:49,690
And I want Paddi Singh.
504
00:34:50,389 --> 00:34:51,383
Paddi!
505
00:34:51,445 --> 00:34:52,439
Paddi come out fast!
506
00:34:52,502 --> 00:34:53,790
There's a producer in the house!
507
00:34:53,844 --> 00:34:55,033
Producer!
508
00:34:56,725 --> 00:34:57,751
Ma'am!
509
00:34:57,910 --> 00:34:58,936
Oh.. Hello!
510
00:34:58,998 --> 00:35:01,212
Oh.. Hello!
It's an honour to meet you!
511
00:35:01,461 --> 00:35:03,960
Took a bath after the apocalypse?
Welcome him!
512
00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:07,196
It's fresh!
513
00:35:07,667 --> 00:35:08,727
So Mr. Paddi.
514
00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:13,242
We want to make a film with you..
515
00:35:13,459 --> 00:35:14,397
Film!
516
00:35:14,451 --> 00:35:15,160
Where?
517
00:35:15,219 --> 00:35:16,124
There!
518
00:35:16,371 --> 00:35:17,114
Where?
519
00:35:17,140 --> 00:35:17,914
There!
520
00:35:17,970 --> 00:35:18,909
Where.. There?
521
00:35:19,058 --> 00:35:20,019
Hollywood!
522
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,709
Why're you sitting down. Sit up!
523
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:34,650
Please join your legs! It's peeping!
524
00:35:37,233 --> 00:35:38,421
So Mr. Paddi.
525
00:35:38,544 --> 00:35:39,416
What will you have?
526
00:35:39,535 --> 00:35:40,311
Tea.
527
00:35:40,367 --> 00:35:41,240
Coffee..
528
00:35:41,296 --> 00:35:42,201
Or role?
529
00:35:44,688 --> 00:35:46,555
Role, of course!
530
00:35:46,736 --> 00:35:49,561
And I'll have a cappuccino. Quick!
531
00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:51,032
Sir! Add some extra milk..
532
00:35:52,845 --> 00:35:53,718
They are from abroad!
533
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,222
Make it frothy!
534
00:35:57,423 --> 00:35:58,677
So Mr. Chadha!
535
00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:00,953
What do I have to do?
536
00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:07,189
You have to Die!
537
00:36:07,596 --> 00:36:08,305
What!
538
00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:10,832
In the film!
539
00:36:11,723 --> 00:36:12,564
In the film!
540
00:36:12,620 --> 00:36:13,777
I almost wet the couch!
541
00:36:14,092 --> 00:36:15,347
Name of the film is..
542
00:36:15,724 --> 00:36:16,815
Tora Bora Nights!
543
00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,469
The film starts with Osama being shot!
544
00:36:20,748 --> 00:36:21,489
Bam!
545
00:36:24,618 --> 00:36:25,610
And then.
546
00:36:25,834 --> 00:36:26,379
And then?
547
00:36:26,538 --> 00:36:27,826
And then.
548
00:36:28,842 --> 00:36:29,900
And then the flashback!
549
00:36:29,962 --> 00:36:30,987
Flashback?
550
00:36:31,115 --> 00:36:33,679
Yup! It's like the last.
551
00:36:33,803 --> 00:36:36,746
Let's imagine the last
4 days of Osama's life..
552
00:36:36,808 --> 00:36:40,716
It's like Sholay..
Meets the Mughal-e-Azam.
553
00:36:40,809 --> 00:36:43,187
Meets the Hurt locker.
554
00:36:44,072 --> 00:36:45,393
It's tailored for an Oscar!
555
00:36:45,448 --> 00:36:46,540
I'll do it Mr. Chadha!
556
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:47,560
Join your legs! It's peeping again!
557
00:36:47,625 --> 00:36:50,252
Congratulations! Sign the contract.
558
00:36:51,111 --> 00:36:52,333
Mr. Chadha.
559
00:36:52,999 --> 00:36:54,320
I have a request to make.
560
00:36:54,567 --> 00:36:55,526
Request?
561
00:36:55,623 --> 00:36:56,878
I want that.
562
00:36:57,191 --> 00:37:00,365
For this film.. the director.
563
00:37:01,415 --> 00:37:02,887
Should be my mentor. Mr. Sharma!
564
00:37:03,366 --> 00:37:04,303
Mr. Chadha.
565
00:37:04,357 --> 00:37:07,784
Only he can take care of me and make
me look and act like Osama!
566
00:37:08,038 --> 00:37:09,029
Don't say no Mr. Chadha.
567
00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:10,446
I beg of you!
568
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:11,560
Sir, he looks like a country man.
569
00:37:11,621 --> 00:37:13,934
Only Sharma can make
him look like the real Osama.
570
00:37:14,052 --> 00:37:15,885
We'll dispose them both after the op!
571
00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:17,868
Done deal!
572
00:37:19,044 --> 00:37:21,128
Sir come on.. They got tricked!
573
00:37:24,099 --> 00:37:27,404
Mr. David. I got one question.
574
00:37:27,523 --> 00:37:28,777
What is you company's name?
575
00:37:28,834 --> 00:37:30,220
Cm!
576
00:37:31,493 --> 00:37:33,128
That's right. CIA.
577
00:37:33,186 --> 00:37:35,466
Cinema in America!
578
00:37:37,249 --> 00:37:39,748
So consider it a 40 day schedule..
579
00:37:39,905 --> 00:37:43,113
Location of the first day is
somewhere in.. Uh.. Somewhere!
580
00:37:43,458 --> 00:37:45,377
And after that.
581
00:37:45,791 --> 00:37:46,664
Where?
582
00:37:46,721 --> 00:37:47,745
Hollywood!
583
00:37:48,416 --> 00:37:50,402
What a smart boy!
584
00:37:50,527 --> 00:37:52,842
Here.. Put your thumb print.
585
00:37:54,177 --> 00:37:56,010
Mr. Chadha.
586
00:37:56,193 --> 00:37:57,632
I have a confession..
587
00:37:58,942 --> 00:38:01,060
I don't have a passport!
588
00:38:03,231 --> 00:38:04,670
You don't need a passport!
589
00:38:04,862 --> 00:38:06,117
We will take you Hollywood style!
590
00:38:06,238 --> 00:38:08,551
Don't worry Mr. David. I'll explain..
591
00:38:08,607 --> 00:38:09,479
I know Hollywood!!
592
00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:11,072
So, the car will reach
at 8 in the morning..
593
00:38:11,327 --> 00:38:12,744
Make sure that you are ready. OK!
594
00:38:13,278 --> 00:38:13,736
So long then!
595
00:38:17,085 --> 00:38:18,723
Live to die!
596
00:38:20,316 --> 00:38:23,077
Is this your mole?
597
00:38:25,051 --> 00:38:26,142
Oh.. It's detachable!
598
00:38:26,908 --> 00:38:27,868
Hollywood!
599
00:38:27,996 --> 00:38:30,560
OK then. Come on Junior let's go.
600
00:38:31,131 --> 00:38:32,636
Bye! Mr. Chadha!
601
00:38:35,834 --> 00:38:36,772
Thanks Paddi.
602
00:38:36,986 --> 00:38:38,524
Return gift to my Mentor!
603
00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:40,353
Wash my cup!
604
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,388
You, grave diggers.
Where are you going?
605
00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:48,387
Who are you?
606
00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:49,881
Who me?
607
00:38:50,105 --> 00:38:51,130
Tourist!
608
00:38:51,289 --> 00:38:52,249
No..Tourist!
609
00:38:52,921 --> 00:38:53,827
OK go!
610
00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:02,526
He is the circus leader.
611
00:39:02,838 --> 00:39:04,192
Let's catch him first!
612
00:39:15,798 --> 00:39:17,882
My mommy says.
613
00:39:18,068 --> 00:39:21,561
Do what you wanna
do slowly slowly..
614
00:39:22,549 --> 00:39:24,633
My daddy says.
615
00:39:24,916 --> 00:39:28,375
What's the point
of having such muscles.
616
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:36,347
I said, I have valour in
my heart and fire in the belly..
617
00:39:36,403 --> 00:39:38,073
So the world says wow..
618
00:39:38,131 --> 00:39:41,524
And I say 'save a cow'..
619
00:39:41,650 --> 00:39:44,726
Why don't you lick
my 1..2..3..4..5..6..
620
00:39:44,786 --> 00:39:46,772
These are my Six Pack Abs!
621
00:39:46,835 --> 00:39:48,220
Six Pack!
622
00:39:48,434 --> 00:39:50,519
My baby finds them fab..
623
00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:53,627
These are my Six Pack Abs!
624
00:39:53,681 --> 00:39:55,067
Six Pack!
625
00:39:55,121 --> 00:39:57,019
Girls follow me in a cab..
626
00:39:58,032 --> 00:40:00,345
These are my Six Pack Abs!
627
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,839
Six Pack!
628
00:40:03,856 --> 00:40:05,078
Six Pack!
629
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:08,727
Six Pack!
630
00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:12,627
We can't catch this guy.
631
00:40:12,751 --> 00:40:16,111
Why don't we get Osama directly?
632
00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:19,056
Sir.. I have packed your underwears...
633
00:40:19,246 --> 00:40:20,500
Pass my undies so I can
pack them as well..
634
00:40:20,557 --> 00:40:22,161
Can you think above your waist?
635
00:40:23,341 --> 00:40:24,631
It's ringing!
636
00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:26,768
Hi this is Ali, The Star!
637
00:40:26,830 --> 00:40:29,458
If you are a babe, please
leave your address and figure size..
638
00:40:29,518 --> 00:40:30,607
I'll get you picked.
639
00:40:30,669 --> 00:40:34,357
And if you are a man! Speak fast or
my phone will disconnect!
640
00:40:34,444 --> 00:40:36,310
You Nymphomaniac!
641
00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:38,327
Keep screwing your bimbos!
642
00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:40,626
We are off to Hollywood!
643
00:40:41,067 --> 00:40:43,381
You are the unworthy one!
Bloody Bollywood clown!
644
00:40:44,331 --> 00:40:48,848
Speak up you knuckle head!
Cat bit your tongue or what?
645
00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:50,510
Paddi. The phone is disconnected!
646
00:40:50,569 --> 00:40:52,883
Call him again!
I wanna abuse his sister!
647
00:40:55,944 --> 00:40:58,379
I think these guys are here..
648
00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:00,461
But they are an hour early?
649
00:41:00,681 --> 00:41:04,620
It's Hollywood Paddi.
Pack the bags quick!
650
00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:07,468
According to the
plan..You go upstairs.
651
00:41:07,784 --> 00:41:09,289
Ring the bell.. Ting Tong!
652
00:41:09,704 --> 00:41:10,762
That clown will come out.
653
00:41:10,888 --> 00:41:13,288
I will put a blanket on him and
close the door behind!
654
00:41:15,751 --> 00:41:17,388
Khaleeli Sir ordered.
655
00:41:17,511 --> 00:41:19,726
For you to ring the bell twice.
656
00:41:19,846 --> 00:41:21,582
Ting Tong!!
657
00:41:21,768 --> 00:41:23,120
The man might be sleeping..
658
00:41:23,174 --> 00:41:26,217
As he comes out, I will put
a blanket on him..
659
00:41:26,342 --> 00:41:28,361
And then bash him!
660
00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,352
No.. No.. You will ring the bell!
661
00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:35,021
That clown will come out.
Bulla try and understand!
662
00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:38,436
No! That is not Khaleeli Sir's order!
663
00:41:39,011 --> 00:41:41,740
What a rainbow colored van!
664
00:41:45,605 --> 00:41:47,078
Osama!
665
00:41:47,395 --> 00:41:48,583
Osama!
666
00:41:49,091 --> 00:41:51,655
Paddi, they are big fans of yours!
667
00:41:52,067 --> 00:41:53,452
I'm blushing!
668
00:41:53,793 --> 00:41:54,786
Come on let's go!
669
00:41:54,850 --> 00:41:56,236
You will also pile on?
670
00:41:56,962 --> 00:41:58,150
Idiot!
671
00:41:58,210 --> 00:42:01,898
Start driving.
Your boss knows all about it.
672
00:42:08,577 --> 00:42:10,443
You missed the left to the airport!
673
00:42:10,625 --> 00:42:12,162
We are going by road..
674
00:42:12,224 --> 00:42:14,275
And switch off your phones!
675
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:15,623
Why?
676
00:42:15,904 --> 00:42:17,922
Paddi quiet! It's Hollywood..
677
00:42:19,745 --> 00:42:20,901
Look at the detailing!
678
00:42:21,182 --> 00:42:22,622
Even the drivers are in costumes..
679
00:42:22,686 --> 00:42:25,120
That's why I love Hollywood!
680
00:42:31,646 --> 00:42:32,454
Sing in the right pitch Sir!
681
00:42:35,613 --> 00:42:36,967
Stop it!
682
00:42:37,437 --> 00:42:39,586
Please. Music is a sin.
683
00:42:39,901 --> 00:42:41,320
Relax dude! It's gibberish...
684
00:42:41,501 --> 00:42:43,716
What a dimwit. You keep singing!
685
00:42:53,370 --> 00:42:55,356
Trace their phones..
686
00:43:13,656 --> 00:43:15,611
Sir.. I am driving. Vroom!
687
00:43:16,473 --> 00:43:17,379
Mr. David!
688
00:43:17,434 --> 00:43:18,306
We love you!
689
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,420
We love Hollywood!
690
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,464
Your guys are also enjoying..
Wait I'll show you
691
00:43:21,528 --> 00:43:23,393
David has sent real bufoons!
692
00:43:23,544 --> 00:43:25,463
Switch off the camera.
693
00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:27,484
Switch off the camera.
694
00:43:30,135 --> 00:43:31,324
Where did they go?
695
00:43:33,557 --> 00:43:34,463
Ah... Very good..
696
00:43:34,582 --> 00:43:36,982
The midget can walk.
And the eyes are intense!
697
00:43:37,590 --> 00:43:39,773
You don't get it.. Do you?!
698
00:43:42,837 --> 00:43:44,407
You threw my iPhone?
699
00:43:45,397 --> 00:43:47,446
This is no way to treat a Director!
700
00:43:47,508 --> 00:43:49,211
I'll tell Mr. David.
701
00:43:49,843 --> 00:43:52,124
I'll complain to
our Directors' union..
702
00:44:53,742 --> 00:44:55,062
Saale khacchar!
703
00:46:01,412 --> 00:46:03,659
Screw Hollywood!
704
00:46:04,164 --> 00:46:06,248
I have lost my butt cheeks!
705
00:46:06,371 --> 00:46:07,082
Paddi.
706
00:46:07,236 --> 00:46:08,489
Don't be fussy..
707
00:46:11,077 --> 00:46:12,068
This is our last chance...
708
00:46:12,195 --> 00:46:13,613
If we don't do this right.
709
00:46:13,667 --> 00:46:16,809
We will be making wedding
videos next. Star look!
710
00:46:18,466 --> 00:46:20,387
They have worked like asses!
711
00:46:20,418 --> 00:46:22,568
And I love the location. Beautiful!
712
00:46:24,418 --> 00:46:28,007
Somewhere in.. Somewhere!
713
00:46:28,610 --> 00:46:29,701
I love it!
714
00:46:29,985 --> 00:46:31,175
Where is David?
715
00:46:32,033 --> 00:46:33,124
David Chadha.
716
00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:35,877
DO.
717
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,240
Where are you?
718
00:46:39,681 --> 00:46:41,033
Mr. David.
719
00:46:42,047 --> 00:46:43,040
Wow..
720
00:46:43,519 --> 00:46:44,545
Intense..
721
00:46:46,014 --> 00:46:47,433
I like the detailing.
722
00:46:47,647 --> 00:46:48,388
Nice..
723
00:46:48,447 --> 00:46:51,109
Daaga. I think the frame should.
724
00:46:51,296 --> 00:46:52,288
Start from here..
725
00:46:52,511 --> 00:46:53,667
Do you have a Dolly?
726
00:46:54,046 --> 00:46:55,616
There is no dolly but we have Khaleeli.
727
00:46:55,998 --> 00:46:58,246
Oh wow.. New equipment.
I love Hollywood!
728
00:46:58,430 --> 00:46:59,138
Where is it?
729
00:46:59,965 --> 00:47:01,056
Is it there?
730
00:47:01,309 --> 00:47:02,597
Sir?
731
00:47:02,909 --> 00:47:03,781
Video camera!
732
00:47:03,996 --> 00:47:04,934
Interesting.
733
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,520
It's stinking in here Bulla.
734
00:47:07,646 --> 00:47:09,249
Do you guys take a
leak in here or something?
735
00:47:11,260 --> 00:47:12,514
What the...?
736
00:47:16,220 --> 00:47:17,059
Sir..
737
00:47:17,115 --> 00:47:18,077
Sir..
738
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,965
What the hell?
739
00:47:30,107 --> 00:47:30,979
What happened?
740
00:47:31,290 --> 00:47:32,250
Sugandha baby?
741
00:47:33,912 --> 00:47:36,478
What a prank!
I love Hollywood!
742
00:47:36,537 --> 00:47:38,042
These are our actors.
743
00:47:38,424 --> 00:47:40,029
Guys cheer up..
744
00:47:40,089 --> 00:47:41,342
You are in Hollywood..
745
00:47:42,551 --> 00:47:44,254
Who called these pile ones?
746
00:47:44,472 --> 00:47:45,760
Hollywood..
747
00:47:45,816 --> 00:47:46,810
Of course, Hollywood..
748
00:47:53,015 --> 00:47:53,757
Hollywood..
749
00:47:53,814 --> 00:47:54,687
Shut up!
750
00:48:05,494 --> 00:48:06,399
My-
751
00:48:06,806 --> 00:48:07,862
Osama!
752
00:48:17,141 --> 00:48:18,778
Come to daddy! Come to daddy!
753
00:48:19,027 --> 00:48:19,933
Sir..
754
00:48:20,627 --> 00:48:22,328
I don't like his intentions..
755
00:48:24,275 --> 00:48:26,141
Finally!
756
00:48:26,355 --> 00:48:27,228
Finally!
757
00:48:27,474 --> 00:48:28,380
A senior actor!
758
00:48:28,435 --> 00:48:29,177
Hi..
759
00:48:29,234 --> 00:48:30,261
Myself Sharma.
760
00:48:30,483 --> 00:48:33,046
OK let's see here.. Nice..
761
00:48:34,641 --> 00:48:37,107
Just a little chest hair..
762
00:48:37,265 --> 00:48:38,651
Nice beard!
763
00:48:38,706 --> 00:48:39,448
One minute!
764
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:42,489
Yes.
765
00:48:44,433 --> 00:48:45,459
Perfect!
766
00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:48,690
Perfect!
767
00:48:56,814 --> 00:48:58,003
Sir..
768
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:01,045
We are screwed!
769
00:49:03,792 --> 00:49:04,817
Junior!
770
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:05,846
Sir!
771
00:49:05,902 --> 00:49:07,636
How much longer?
772
00:49:07,789 --> 00:49:10,321
Sir, 30 minutes tops!
773
00:49:10,574 --> 00:49:14,675
Why are we talking in sign language?
774
00:49:18,443 --> 00:49:20,080
Give me that thing..
775
00:49:21,260 --> 00:49:23,573
Don't you know this
is a silent chopper?
776
00:49:25,965 --> 00:49:26,956
Now listen Barbie.
777
00:49:27,149 --> 00:49:31,664
I want this clown to look like
Osama in 30 minutes!
778
00:49:32,299 --> 00:49:34,481
And you owl eyes.. Write in arabic..
779
00:49:34,571 --> 00:49:38,543
Write that 'l, Osama, am Alive and in
good care of my dear friend Khaleeli'
780
00:49:39,370 --> 00:49:41,421
But I don't know
how to write in Arabic.
781
00:49:44,905 --> 00:49:47,023
Can you write in Arabic?
782
00:49:49,513 --> 00:49:50,091
Yes!
783
00:49:50,633 --> 00:49:51,658
I have proof..
784
00:49:52,679 --> 00:49:55,757
Owl eyes will write Arabic.
785
00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,705
Barbie will do his make up..
786
00:49:58,568 --> 00:50:01,165
And you.. Weirdo!
Will mimic Osama's voice..
787
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,424
Yes Sir! I am a mimicry artist!
788
00:50:06,854 --> 00:50:09,649
L.. Khaleeli loves Osama!
789
00:50:11,591 --> 00:50:14,384
Please Uncle.. We will do it!
790
00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:16,518
Chirag just write anything!
791
00:50:53,889 --> 00:50:55,689
Mona where is Osama?
792
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,359
In America!
793
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,285
It's done!
794
00:51:21,118 --> 00:51:23,104
Is he Osama or Santa Claus?
795
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,902
Disgusting!
796
00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:30,403
You read what you have written!
797
00:51:42,173 --> 00:51:44,254
Osama sounds like a choo choo train!
798
00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:45,663
What kind of Arabic is this?
799
00:51:45,724 --> 00:51:46,846
It's Arabic, Sir..
800
00:51:46,906 --> 00:51:48,607
Weirdo here can't read it..
801
00:51:48,666 --> 00:51:50,815
Rahul please read only Arabic.
802
00:51:50,873 --> 00:51:51,812
It's not Arabic!
803
00:51:51,866 --> 00:51:53,600
This ass has written gibberish!
804
00:51:53,657 --> 00:51:54,400
It's Arabic!
805
00:51:54,426 --> 00:51:55,650
Don't lie, you have written gibberish.
806
00:51:59,097 --> 00:51:59,969
Shut up!
807
00:52:00,024 --> 00:52:01,116
Daaga. Shoot them all..
808
00:52:01,303 --> 00:52:02,209
Daaga.
809
00:52:03,736 --> 00:52:05,121
Uncle, we are just actors.
810
00:52:05,176 --> 00:52:07,163
Without a Director.. We are clueless!
811
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:08,637
What is a Director?
812
00:52:08,697 --> 00:52:09,536
Nice..
813
00:52:09,654 --> 00:52:10,682
In fact good..
814
00:52:10,903 --> 00:52:12,342
Good depth.
815
00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:13,656
But what do you wanna shoot here?
816
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:14,811
You..
817
00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:16,343
Bulla. What are you saying?
818
00:52:16,407 --> 00:52:19,069
It's Khaleeli Sir's order!
Why did you pile on?
819
00:52:19,128 --> 00:52:22,367
I asked you in the van also.
Didn't I?
820
00:52:22,421 --> 00:52:25,149
Go right.
Now go left.. Right. Perfect!
821
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,157
Bulla listen to me..
Let's run away!
822
00:52:27,221 --> 00:52:27,930
Sorry?
823
00:52:27,988 --> 00:52:28,796
Bollywood!
824
00:52:28,853 --> 00:52:31,069
If I can transform
Paddi into 'The Paddi'..
825
00:52:31,156 --> 00:52:33,022
I can make you 'Tha Bulla' in no time!
826
00:52:33,461 --> 00:52:34,520
Bulla.
827
00:52:34,837 --> 00:52:35,995
Bulla stop!
828
00:52:36,468 --> 00:52:37,495
Bulla stop!
829
00:52:42,548 --> 00:52:43,355
Come on!
830
00:52:43,475 --> 00:52:44,599
Khaleeli wants you..
831
00:52:44,659 --> 00:52:45,596
Why?
832
00:52:46,162 --> 00:52:48,956
To resurrect Osama!
833
00:53:07,153 --> 00:53:08,211
And cut it!
834
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:09,945
Here.. Your tape is ready.
835
00:53:10,030 --> 00:53:12,018
Brilliant Sharma!
836
00:53:13,008 --> 00:53:14,262
I can't thank you enough for this..
837
00:53:14,352 --> 00:53:16,054
Come on Khaleeli Sir..
838
00:53:16,209 --> 00:53:17,200
I am a Director..
839
00:53:17,521 --> 00:53:19,025
Can't say no to a film..
840
00:53:19,087 --> 00:53:21,684
Films run in your family it seems.
841
00:53:23,566 --> 00:53:25,780
Can you not get into
my family affairs?
842
00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:27,441
Mind your tape business!
843
00:53:27,630 --> 00:53:29,103
Don't be upset!
844
00:53:29,198 --> 00:53:32,558
Tell me..
What is Osama saying in this tape?
845
00:53:37,069 --> 00:53:38,226
Osama?
846
00:53:40,557 --> 00:53:41,682
Osama said..
847
00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:43,152
'I am Alive'.
848
00:53:43,691 --> 00:53:44,368
And..
849
00:53:44,491 --> 00:53:47,470
'I am with Khaleeli Sir'
850
00:53:47,627 --> 00:53:49,811
He likes you!
851
00:53:50,316 --> 00:53:51,222
And..
852
00:53:52,235 --> 00:53:55,508
'I beg for some donations in
the name of almighty'
853
00:53:56,811 --> 00:53:57,803
Right!
854
00:54:00,746 --> 00:54:05,458
OK.. Bulla. No.. Daaga. Check
it once and keep it in the locker.
855
00:54:06,057 --> 00:54:07,344
Khaleeli Sir..
856
00:54:07,816 --> 00:54:10,511
Now that your work is done..
857
00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:11,659
And the tape has also come out well..
858
00:54:13,385 --> 00:54:16,461
I was thinking what
if we leave for India?
859
00:54:16,937 --> 00:54:17,896
Paddi. Come on boy!
860
00:54:18,888 --> 00:54:22,695
Uncle! This time don't
send us tied in sacks.
861
00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:24,974
Fight or train would also do..
Right boys?
862
00:54:25,927 --> 00:54:27,825
Daaga is so cute..
863
00:54:28,647 --> 00:54:31,506
Come on Boys.. Bye Sir!
864
00:54:33,512 --> 00:54:34,832
Sharma!
865
00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:41,355
Come to daddy.. Come to daddy..
866
00:54:44,388 --> 00:54:47,336
Look Sharma, America will definitely
reply to this tape.
867
00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,997
Then we'll need to reply
with another tape.
868
00:54:50,117 --> 00:54:54,503
Then they will reply..
And we will reply..
869
00:54:54,563 --> 00:54:56,680
This replying game will go on forever!
870
00:54:56,739 --> 00:54:58,605
So now you are our guests.
871
00:54:58,627 --> 00:55:00,613
Pop some opium.
872
00:55:00,771 --> 00:55:02,342
And keep making tapes!
873
00:55:02,690 --> 00:55:04,391
Listen my bearded twin..
874
00:55:04,609 --> 00:55:05,994
Spare me!
875
00:55:06,466 --> 00:55:08,452
I will never become Osama again.
876
00:55:08,803 --> 00:55:12,871
I'll go back to my village.
I beg you Khaleeli Sir!
877
00:55:13,762 --> 00:55:17,896
Sir.. Atleast clear my account now!
878
00:55:17,953 --> 00:55:20,680
Paddi. Atleast see the situation!
879
00:55:44,542 --> 00:55:46,180
- But it's been three years!
- Buzz off!
880
00:55:46,207 --> 00:55:48,257
You haven't paid me a dime!
881
00:56:01,084 --> 00:56:02,686
Mr. Chadha!
882
00:56:03,482 --> 00:56:04,956
Mr. Chadha!
883
00:56:07,291 --> 00:56:07,935
Americans!
884
00:56:08,186 --> 00:56:09,825
Take position and fire!
885
00:56:20,249 --> 00:56:21,788
Till death blows us apart!
886
00:56:32,215 --> 00:56:33,154
Run!
887
00:56:33,304 --> 00:56:34,395
Paddi, run!
888
00:56:36,311 --> 00:56:37,980
Sir!
889
00:56:38,039 --> 00:56:39,032
Mr. David!
890
00:56:39,095 --> 00:56:39,870
Mr. David!
891
00:56:39,927 --> 00:56:40,831
Sir!
892
00:56:43,063 --> 00:56:44,830
Mr. David. I knew it!
893
00:56:44,919 --> 00:56:46,074
Only Hollywood can save Bollywood!
894
00:56:46,133 --> 00:56:47,191
Thank me later.
895
00:56:47,799 --> 00:56:50,460
But tell me..
What were these morons up to?
896
00:56:51,478 --> 00:56:53,278
They forced us to make
a fake tape of Osama!
897
00:56:53,334 --> 00:56:54,490
Bloody idiots!
898
00:56:54,806 --> 00:56:55,764
Hop in!
899
00:57:11,154 --> 00:57:11,929
What's that?
900
00:57:12,979 --> 00:57:13,687
Hollywood!
901
00:57:16,691 --> 00:57:18,196
Go there.. Go there..
902
00:57:22,098 --> 00:57:24,411
Hey you.. American eagle!
903
00:57:24,627 --> 00:57:26,231
Give my tape. shoot him!
904
00:57:33,136 --> 00:57:35,056
Gimme the tape. Throw it!
905
00:58:11,659 --> 00:58:14,386
Osama!
906
01:00:09,801 --> 01:00:11,186
Thank you Mr. David. Thank you..
907
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:12,681
Thank me later!
908
01:00:12,777 --> 01:00:14,796
Guys meet Mr. David Chadha
producer from Hollywood!
909
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:16,017
Hollywood?
910
01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:16,944
Yes.
911
01:00:16,998 --> 01:00:19,881
He is making a Hollywood
film 'Tora Bora Nights'..
912
01:00:19,943 --> 01:00:22,923
I am the star of the film!
And Sir is directing it!
913
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:24,811
Live to die!
914
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,945
A Hollywood producer with US marines?
915
01:00:31,046 --> 01:00:33,512
What a funny guy..
Still cracking a joke!
916
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:37,553
So what I was saying friends. Sharma
and Paddi have a shoot to finish..
917
01:00:37,702 --> 01:00:40,364
And our location.
Somewhere in.. Somewhere.
918
01:00:40,583 --> 01:00:41,455
Is also on the way!
919
01:00:41,862 --> 01:00:44,840
So why don't we wrap up our shoot.
And then drop you back home? OK.
920
01:00:45,350 --> 01:00:46,855
OK, my Ass!
921
01:00:47,909 --> 01:00:50,474
Rahul Singh doesn't attend
someone else's shoot!
922
01:00:51,461 --> 01:00:53,808
Chadha Uncle.. We just escaped death!
923
01:00:53,862 --> 01:00:55,432
Please send us home!
924
01:00:55,559 --> 01:00:57,259
My cat is also alone in the house..
925
01:00:59,749 --> 01:01:02,094
OK.. OK.. Guys!
926
01:01:02,405 --> 01:01:04,326
You can also be part of this film!
927
01:01:04,421 --> 01:01:05,261
Really!
928
01:01:05,989 --> 01:01:06,949
Sharma!
929
01:01:07,109 --> 01:01:08,330
There is no role for them!
930
01:01:08,773 --> 01:01:10,345
Mr. David..
They are Bollywood wannabes!
931
01:01:10,374 --> 01:01:13,700
For a minute in Hollywood, they
will make noise for one year!
932
01:01:14,147 --> 01:01:17,061
Guys! Welcome to Hollywood!
933
01:01:18,724 --> 01:01:21,125
Love struck like a hurricane.
934
01:01:21,285 --> 01:01:23,336
Shook the world and gave it pain.
935
01:01:23,396 --> 01:01:24,106
Love struck like..
936
01:01:24,164 --> 01:01:26,029
Paddi, careful! Chopper bladesl!
937
01:01:41,634 --> 01:01:42,659
What are you staring at?
938
01:01:42,723 --> 01:01:44,458
It's your house! Come!
939
01:01:46,243 --> 01:01:47,202
Sharma come!
940
01:01:48,290 --> 01:01:49,098
See that!
941
01:01:55,297 --> 01:01:56,868
Be careful of snakes!
942
01:01:59,168 --> 01:02:01,766
And. This is it!
943
01:02:03,809 --> 01:02:05,063
A wall!
944
01:02:05,410 --> 01:02:06,731
Where is Hollywood?
945
01:02:07,331 --> 01:02:08,837
Oh.. One minute!
946
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:12,611
Mr. Chadha
947
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:13,986
I'll also drink some water.
948
01:02:14,593 --> 01:02:16,099
I am parched!
949
01:02:19,009 --> 01:02:20,001
It's not coming out?!
950
01:02:52,318 --> 01:02:53,638
Come on..
951
01:02:54,462 --> 01:02:57,321
Welcome to Somewhere in Somewhere!
952
01:02:57,790 --> 01:02:59,077
WOW!
953
01:02:59,518 --> 01:03:01,025
It looks right out of a Fairy Tale!
954
01:03:01,054 --> 01:03:02,342
Isn't it fantastic?!
955
01:03:02,398 --> 01:03:05,727
This is our Abottabad set..
Osama's House!
956
01:03:06,782 --> 01:03:07,906
What say Mr. Paddi.
957
01:03:08,573 --> 01:03:09,599
My Star!
958
01:03:10,845 --> 01:03:11,652
Why are you standing?
959
01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:12,931
Why don't you sit down.
960
01:03:14,302 --> 01:03:15,261
Sharma.
961
01:03:15,421 --> 01:03:16,448
Look..
962
01:03:16,509 --> 01:03:18,178
Osama's bedroom.
963
01:03:18,237 --> 01:03:19,361
Isn't it nice?
964
01:03:19,550 --> 01:03:21,118
Very real Mr. David!
965
01:03:21,275 --> 01:03:22,302
Chadha uncle..
966
01:03:22,459 --> 01:03:23,584
Very nice..
967
01:03:23,870 --> 01:03:24,612
Thank you!
968
01:03:24,893 --> 01:03:26,976
Mr. David. Could we get a script?
969
01:03:27,133 --> 01:03:28,224
Mr. Chirag.
970
01:03:28,350 --> 01:03:30,084
There is no script to this film..
971
01:03:30,205 --> 01:03:32,703
Because it's based on real reality!
972
01:03:34,108 --> 01:03:35,396
So Sharma!
973
01:03:35,451 --> 01:03:36,477
What was I saying?
974
01:03:37,818 --> 01:03:38,779
The scene goes like this.
975
01:03:38,812 --> 01:03:40,231
Osama is sleeping in his bedroom.
976
01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:41,310
He is sleeping!
977
01:03:41,436 --> 01:03:43,303
Suddenly we see American
chopper approaching.
978
01:03:43,387 --> 01:03:44,609
US marines climb out of it.
979
01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:45,988
And barge into Osama's bedroom.
980
01:03:46,044 --> 01:03:47,233
Bam! Bam! Bam!
981
01:03:47,356 --> 01:03:48,316
Osama's dead!
982
01:03:49,979 --> 01:03:52,893
Then they will wrap up his dead body..
983
01:03:52,955 --> 01:03:54,275
They will put him in the chopper..
Fly away.
984
01:03:54,297 --> 01:03:55,619
And throw him in the Sea.
985
01:03:56,602 --> 01:03:57,509
Black out.
986
01:03:57,659 --> 01:03:58,531
OK.
987
01:03:58,683 --> 01:03:59,741
OK, my Ass!
988
01:04:01,787 --> 01:04:03,554
What is Rahul Singh's role?
989
01:04:03,804 --> 01:04:06,115
Uncle what is the
motivation of this scene?
990
01:04:07,450 --> 01:04:08,388
Mr. David.
991
01:04:09,113 --> 01:04:09,921
Let me..
992
01:04:10,139 --> 01:04:11,011
Sugandha.
993
01:04:11,162 --> 01:04:12,898
You will be Osama's wife!
994
01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:15,069
Rustic!
995
01:04:15,290 --> 01:04:16,098
Very good..
996
01:04:16,154 --> 01:04:18,587
Osama can't be alone!
997
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:20,962
So the two of you..
Will be his bodyguards!
998
01:04:22,137 --> 01:04:23,774
You want ME to be a bodyguard?
999
01:04:24,281 --> 01:04:26,366
No I mean Mujahideen!
1000
01:04:26,425 --> 01:04:28,737
You will fight with the US marines!
1001
01:04:28,825 --> 01:04:30,113
That's a brilliant idea, Sir!
1002
01:04:30,169 --> 01:04:31,642
They'll all be disposed
off in one shot.
1003
01:04:31,737 --> 01:04:33,024
Sharma.
1004
01:04:33,208 --> 01:04:35,390
Am I just sleeping?
1005
01:04:35,512 --> 01:04:37,498
What if him and I have some action?
1006
01:04:37,816 --> 01:04:38,689
Very good!
1007
01:04:38,744 --> 01:04:39,934
Where were you all this while..
1008
01:04:39,992 --> 01:04:40,767
Mr. David.
1009
01:04:40,823 --> 01:04:42,526
Involvement!
Very good idea!
1010
01:04:42,585 --> 01:04:44,669
Before the Marines barge in..
1011
01:04:44,729 --> 01:04:48,350
Let's show some romance
between Osama and his wife.
1012
01:04:48,536 --> 01:04:49,824
What say Paddi?
1013
01:04:51,256 --> 01:04:52,379
No Sharma!
1014
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:53,532
I am not making a film!
1015
01:04:53,655 --> 01:04:55,705
I mean, it's not that kind of a film!
1016
01:04:56,055 --> 01:04:57,496
Mr. David listen to me..
1017
01:04:57,558 --> 01:04:59,459
Sit down.
1018
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:02,143
Mr. David we will
shoot it aesthetically.
1019
01:05:02,198 --> 01:05:03,105
No vulgarity!
1020
01:05:03,159 --> 01:05:05,274
Sex scene for us is
like honey for the bees.
1021
01:05:05,590 --> 01:05:07,806
More the sex. Bigger the audience!
1022
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:09,529
- Really?
- No..
1023
01:05:09,974 --> 01:05:10,880
No.. I can't allow..
1024
01:05:10,934 --> 01:05:11,894
Chadha uncle!
1025
01:05:11,959 --> 01:05:13,344
Sorry to cut your off..
1026
01:05:13,591 --> 01:05:14,650
I wanna do..
1027
01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:15,743
Do?
1028
01:05:16,183 --> 01:05:16,694
Do what?
1029
01:05:16,757 --> 01:05:18,361
Mr. David imagine!
1030
01:05:18,549 --> 01:05:20,024
It's raining outside.
1031
01:05:20,118 --> 01:05:21,078
Thunder!
1032
01:05:21,143 --> 01:05:24,056
Cut to! The American chopper
is approaching the target.
1033
01:05:25,046 --> 01:05:26,138
It is a silent chopper..
1034
01:05:26,198 --> 01:05:27,867
Silent? No problem.
1035
01:05:28,822 --> 01:05:29,530
Cut to!
1036
01:05:29,590 --> 01:05:31,935
Two Mujahideen are
guarding the house..
1037
01:05:32,468 --> 01:05:34,651
Everybody Stay Alert!
1038
01:05:34,805 --> 01:05:38,133
Everybody Stay Alert!
1039
01:05:38,421 --> 01:05:39,162
Echo effect!
1040
01:05:39,222 --> 01:05:41,503
Cut to! Osama is walking in his room..
1041
01:05:41,686 --> 01:05:43,519
He is restless.. Sleep deprived.
1042
01:05:43,572 --> 01:05:45,373
He is very lonely within..
1043
01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:48,799
Lonely effect!
1044
01:05:48,853 --> 01:05:49,811
He wants something.
1045
01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:56,728
Then suddenly his newly wedded wife
walks in with a glass of milk..
1046
01:06:02,483 --> 01:06:03,737
Osama sees her and utters.
1047
01:06:04,019 --> 01:06:04,598
I love Milk!
1048
01:06:04,659 --> 01:06:07,420
Paddi. Please. Don't disturb!
1049
01:06:07,827 --> 01:06:10,741
Osama whispers to his wife..
'Sugarcrush.
1050
01:06:10,963 --> 01:06:12,795
'I have a very empty feeling inside,
please fill me up'..
1051
01:06:12,851 --> 01:06:13,331
Cut to..
1052
01:06:13,586 --> 01:06:16,052
US marines are loading their guns..
1053
01:06:18,867 --> 01:06:19,445
Cut back!
1054
01:06:19,507 --> 01:06:21,525
Osama's wife embraces him..
1055
01:06:21,715 --> 01:06:24,693
And kisses his forehead.
1056
01:06:25,105 --> 01:06:25,531
Cut back!
1057
01:06:25,586 --> 01:06:27,605
The American chopper enters the house!
1058
01:06:27,667 --> 01:06:29,979
Mujahideen start firing at them!
1059
01:06:30,193 --> 01:06:31,612
Gun fight! Mr. David. Gun fight!
1060
01:06:31,857 --> 01:06:35,764
Inside it is Valentine's!
And outside.. Halloween!
1061
01:06:35,954 --> 01:06:42,011
Just then! The Marines barge into
Osama's bedroom.
1062
01:06:42,065 --> 01:06:44,793
BAM!
BAM! BAM!
1063
01:06:47,248 --> 01:06:50,609
In a matter of seconds..
Osama's wife is a WIDOW!
1064
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,407
- Widow!
- Black out!
1065
01:06:54,032 --> 01:06:54,972
Brilliant!
1066
01:07:03,664 --> 01:07:05,082
Make it Sharma. Make it!
1067
01:07:05,551 --> 01:07:06,326
Oscar shot!
1068
01:07:06,704 --> 01:07:07,926
Oscar shot By God!
1069
01:07:08,496 --> 01:07:09,368
What a director.
1070
01:07:09,905 --> 01:07:10,481
What a director!
1071
01:07:10,639 --> 01:07:11,511
But sir..
1072
01:07:11,631 --> 01:07:13,682
Junior, get the shot ready.
1073
01:07:14,063 --> 01:07:15,416
And I'll have a hot dog..
1074
01:07:22,350 --> 01:07:24,270
You swine! What is he saying?
1075
01:07:24,718 --> 01:07:25,972
Khaleeli Sir, he said..
1076
01:07:26,094 --> 01:07:27,926
Harkat-E-Mansha is an army of Donkeys!
1077
01:07:28,046 --> 01:07:29,367
Sick bastards!
1078
01:07:29,902 --> 01:07:30,894
Hold it Daaga!
1079
01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:32,791
To fight the Americans.
1080
01:07:32,910 --> 01:07:35,125
We need help from these Afghans.
1081
01:07:35,694 --> 01:07:40,080
Bulla. Tell these guys that Osama is
alive and we know where to find him..
1082
01:07:48,268 --> 01:07:54,325
Sir, he just ordered death upon us
for making fun of Osama!
1083
01:08:17,869 --> 01:08:18,828
Khaleeli Sir..
1084
01:08:18,957 --> 01:08:20,876
They have agreed
to fight the Americans.
1085
01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,807
But under one condition.
1086
01:08:23,531 --> 01:08:24,752
Daaga has to be left behind!
1087
01:08:25,067 --> 01:08:26,638
They believe that a person
without a mustache or a beard
1088
01:08:26,890 --> 01:08:28,309
cannot be a mujahideen!
1089
01:08:29,771 --> 01:08:32,914
Lights. Camera. Rain!
1090
01:08:34,923 --> 01:08:37,040
Sir, it wasn't raining
when we killed Osama.
1091
01:08:38,123 --> 01:08:39,628
It's Cinematic Liberty!
1092
01:08:40,778 --> 01:08:42,643
But we're not making a movie..
1093
01:08:43,848 --> 01:08:45,748
And action!
1094
01:08:45,865 --> 01:08:48,528
This burning thing is called fire..
1095
01:08:48,970 --> 01:08:51,022
Come on boys.. Give me a perfect shot!
1096
01:08:52,906 --> 01:08:56,877
And once it's out. It will be ash.
How intriguing!!
1097
01:08:57,193 --> 01:09:00,107
Abu Baker! Helicopter!
1098
01:09:00,233 --> 01:09:05,295
We will not die today! 'Cause today
is our Independence Day!
1099
01:09:05,961 --> 01:09:07,760
Hare Krishna! Save me!
1100
01:09:07,816 --> 01:09:09,137
Cut it!
1101
01:09:09,289 --> 01:09:10,380
Chirag?
1102
01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:13,131
What the hell are you doing, Chirag?
1103
01:09:13,192 --> 01:09:14,064
What happened?
1104
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:16,433
Why are you shouting
as if someone is raping you?
1105
01:09:16,457 --> 01:09:17,198
Take the chopper back.
1106
01:09:17,256 --> 01:09:18,761
What happened Sir?
1107
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,167
Sharma. This gun is real!
1108
01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:23,120
One bullet nicked my ear..
1109
01:09:23,175 --> 01:09:23,950
It's red!
1110
01:09:24,007 --> 01:09:26,190
Chirag, everything is fake here!
1111
01:09:26,438 --> 01:09:27,466
Wait, I am coming!
1112
01:09:27,527 --> 01:09:28,586
Come fast!
1113
01:09:29,864 --> 01:09:31,369
Here I come!
1114
01:09:38,119 --> 01:09:40,911
Chirag. You are one big pussy!
1115
01:09:41,029 --> 01:09:42,862
This gun is all plastic.
1116
01:09:42,918 --> 01:09:44,206
Watch this!
1117
01:09:44,295 --> 01:09:45,647
Nothing happened!
1118
01:09:49,511 --> 01:09:51,049
See.. Nothing happened!
1119
01:09:51,429 --> 01:09:52,456
What happened?
1120
01:09:52,964 --> 01:09:53,773
Bob..
1121
01:09:56,582 --> 01:09:58,023
Sgt. Bob..
1122
01:09:59,461 --> 01:10:01,000
Come on Sgt. Bob!
1123
01:10:01,222 --> 01:10:02,826
Enough with the jokes.
1124
01:10:02,885 --> 01:10:05,384
Now get up and show everybody
that you are OK!
1125
01:10:12,868 --> 01:10:14,603
He scared the hell out of us.
1126
01:10:17,668 --> 01:10:19,174
Good actor..
1127
01:10:19,235 --> 01:10:20,360
Back to positions now!
1128
01:10:20,420 --> 01:10:22,603
Sharma. ls my make up OK?
1129
01:10:22,692 --> 01:10:24,132
Yeah it's OK..
1130
01:10:24,196 --> 01:10:26,063
Chirag, happy'?
1131
01:10:26,116 --> 01:10:27,557
Back to positions!
1132
01:10:31,908 --> 01:10:33,609
Hare Krishna!
1133
01:10:37,730 --> 01:10:39,814
And Action!
1134
01:10:40,003 --> 01:10:41,541
Come on boys, let's go for it..
1135
01:10:42,595 --> 01:10:44,843
Abu Baker! Helicopter!
1136
01:10:47,075 --> 01:10:50,532
Come on American dogs!
1137
01:10:50,882 --> 01:10:54,123
I'll kill everyone of you and
bury you in Afghanistan!
1138
01:10:56,035 --> 01:10:59,177
- Cut it!
- I'll kill everyone of you..
1139
01:10:59,554 --> 01:11:01,737
- Cut it!
- To hell with you..
1140
01:11:01,794 --> 01:11:04,325
I said.. Cut!!
1141
01:11:07,073 --> 01:11:07,684
What?
1142
01:11:07,746 --> 01:11:09,000
Cut it! God damn it!
1143
01:11:09,058 --> 01:11:10,182
What happened?
1144
01:11:10,243 --> 01:11:11,497
I was so absorbed in the shot.
1145
01:11:11,618 --> 01:11:13,288
Absorbed, my ass!
1146
01:11:13,345 --> 01:11:14,502
What happened, Sir?
1147
01:11:14,752 --> 01:11:16,138
Sir, we're wasting time.
1148
01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:17,895
Thanks for that
ridiculous performance.
1149
01:11:17,953 --> 01:11:20,614
You look like a chimp..
Stop acting like one!
1150
01:11:23,937 --> 01:11:26,316
Pack up!
Pack up!
1151
01:11:26,466 --> 01:11:27,719
Sugandha baby..
Is it the dinner break?
1152
01:11:27,777 --> 01:11:30,407
- What do you mean by pack up?
- Sharma what's wrong?
1153
01:11:30,433 --> 01:11:32,298
Mr. David pack him off!
1154
01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:35,368
I'll make Chirag do the action scene!
1155
01:11:35,423 --> 01:11:37,442
Go fight like Chuck Norris!
1156
01:11:37,790 --> 01:11:40,290
Sharma. Wait!
Let me speak to RahuL.
1157
01:11:41,728 --> 01:11:44,010
Sir, is it a pack up or not?
1158
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:45,578
Paddi. Keep shut for a while!
1159
01:11:45,791 --> 01:11:46,817
Sharma.
1160
01:11:48,510 --> 01:11:50,595
Sharma.
We are wasting a lot of time.
1161
01:11:50,782 --> 01:11:51,874
Why don't we kill Paddi first?
1162
01:11:52,415 --> 01:11:55,110
I mean.
Shoot the Osama killing first!
1163
01:11:55,295 --> 01:11:56,135
Good idea.
1164
01:11:56,190 --> 01:11:57,217
Location change.
1165
01:11:57,311 --> 01:11:58,914
Let's do the bedroom scene first!
1166
01:11:59,134 --> 01:12:01,033
Our love scene is next, handsome!
1167
01:12:02,783 --> 01:12:04,168
Daaga. My DOV!
1168
01:12:04,222 --> 01:12:05,958
Please don't cry..
1169
01:12:07,102 --> 01:12:09,480
I am gifting you my suicide jacket.
1170
01:12:09,758 --> 01:12:13,031
If you ever miss me..
Say my name and..
1171
01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:16,479
Have a blast!
1172
01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:30,719
As soon as you enter, kill Paddi the
same way that was told to the media.
1173
01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:32,960
One on the chest. One on the head!
1174
01:12:36,411 --> 01:12:37,438
All set, Sir!
1175
01:12:38,876 --> 01:12:42,053
Ready everybody.. And.. Action!
1176
01:13:02,619 --> 01:13:03,361
Cut it.
1177
01:13:03,419 --> 01:13:04,708
Paddi come on..
1178
01:13:04,764 --> 01:13:05,722
One more..
1179
01:13:05,979 --> 01:13:07,070
Take 8!
1180
01:13:07,482 --> 01:13:08,955
And Action!
1181
01:13:11,898 --> 01:13:12,804
I love Milk!
1182
01:13:12,857 --> 01:13:14,363
No No..
Cut it!
1183
01:13:14,745 --> 01:13:16,666
Paddi come on.. Emotions!
1184
01:13:16,729 --> 01:13:17,723
OK.. Ready.
1185
01:13:17,945 --> 01:13:19,102
Take 21!
1186
01:13:19,995 --> 01:13:20,737
Action!
1187
01:13:20,826 --> 01:13:21,763
Action!
1188
01:13:23,962 --> 01:13:25,250
I love Milk!
1189
01:13:25,403 --> 01:13:26,307
Cut it!
1190
01:13:26,457 --> 01:13:28,063
Hollywood.. Feel it!
1191
01:13:29,209 --> 01:13:30,050
Action!
1192
01:13:34,041 --> 01:13:35,262
Very good!
1193
01:13:36,985 --> 01:13:38,720
- I love Milk!
- Cut it!
1194
01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:43,742
Take 69..
1195
01:13:44,471 --> 01:13:45,596
Action!
1196
01:13:45,784 --> 01:13:47,770
Sharma. Get it right this time!
1197
01:13:59,992 --> 01:14:01,377
Osama.
1198
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:05,920
Cut it!
1199
01:14:06,391 --> 01:14:06,937
What happened?
1200
01:14:07,095 --> 01:14:08,600
One more Paddi.
1201
01:14:08,792 --> 01:14:10,689
What one more!
1202
01:14:11,926 --> 01:14:16,444
What the.
I love Milk! I love Milk! I love Milk!
1203
01:14:17,303 --> 01:14:20,217
Why don't you bloody die!
1204
01:14:20,278 --> 01:14:23,834
Why are you driving me crazy..
You sick bastard!
1205
01:14:23,989 --> 01:14:25,179
Who made you an actor?
1206
01:14:25,238 --> 01:14:28,629
I wanna put this gun in your mouth
and blast your brains out!
1207
01:14:28,694 --> 01:14:31,455
Pack up.. Pack up..
1208
01:14:31,893 --> 01:14:32,733
Buzz off!
1209
01:14:33,397 --> 01:14:35,777
How dare you!
Why did you shout at my star?
1210
01:14:35,831 --> 01:14:37,249
Screw Hollywood!
1211
01:14:37,302 --> 01:14:39,168
And who do you think you're
scaring with a toy gun?
1212
01:14:39,220 --> 01:14:40,158
Should I shoot you?!
1213
01:14:40,213 --> 01:14:43,094
Sharma. Please return my gun..
1214
01:14:43,157 --> 01:14:44,510
I got emotional.
1215
01:14:44,948 --> 01:14:46,422
But he is not dying!
1216
01:14:47,125 --> 01:14:48,565
We can't shoot now..
1217
01:14:48,630 --> 01:14:49,884
But why?
1218
01:14:50,709 --> 01:14:51,735
Mr. David.
1219
01:14:52,084 --> 01:14:54,363
Sugandha's aggression has already
made him wet his pants.
1220
01:14:54,420 --> 01:14:58,207
And you shoved death in his mouth!
Let him catch his breath!
1221
01:14:59,861 --> 01:15:01,302
We need to relieve his tension!
1222
01:15:01,333 --> 01:15:02,489
Don't worry Sharma.
1223
01:15:02,548 --> 01:15:04,218
I will ease him out!
1224
01:15:05,490 --> 01:15:09,277
Mr. David that's what I call
involvement.
1225
01:15:09,683 --> 01:15:10,425
Mr. David.
1226
01:15:10,675 --> 01:15:11,668
In the meantime.
1227
01:15:12,339 --> 01:15:14,718
Let's call for a break!
1228
01:15:15,156 --> 01:15:16,541
I will have a hot dog!
1229
01:15:19,891 --> 01:15:20,763
What?
1230
01:15:22,579 --> 01:15:23,767
So Paddi.
1231
01:15:23,794 --> 01:15:25,660
How do you wanna do this?
1232
01:15:26,065 --> 01:15:27,320
Sugandha Baby.
1233
01:15:27,442 --> 01:15:28,402
Bushes!
1234
01:15:28,626 --> 01:15:29,499
In the village.
1235
01:15:29,553 --> 01:15:32,053
That's where boys pop their cherry!
1236
01:15:32,274 --> 01:15:33,780
So earthy.
1237
01:15:33,972 --> 01:15:35,389
Interesting. Come on..
1238
01:15:36,209 --> 01:15:37,114
Come!
1239
01:15:38,545 --> 01:15:39,898
Bro.. This is Hollywood!
1240
01:15:39,985 --> 01:15:41,372
I don't need 5 pounds of acting.
1241
01:15:41,394 --> 01:15:43,313
5 ounces will do..
Keep it subtle.
1242
01:15:43,634 --> 01:15:44,626
5 ounces?
1243
01:15:44,753 --> 01:15:46,620
I'm an actor. Not a piece of meat!
1244
01:15:47,153 --> 01:15:48,986
And keep your attitude in check.
1245
01:15:49,425 --> 01:15:52,852
After all Rahul Singh
is the star of your film!
1246
01:15:52,945 --> 01:15:53,556
Of course!
1247
01:15:53,808 --> 01:15:54,769
Give me a high five..
1248
01:15:54,802 --> 01:15:56,275
RahuL. Sharma.
1249
01:15:56,337 --> 01:15:57,974
What?
1250
01:15:58,577 --> 01:16:00,083
There is no craft service!
1251
01:16:00,176 --> 01:16:00,853
So?
1252
01:16:00,913 --> 01:16:02,201
But Sharma.
1253
01:16:02,481 --> 01:16:05,786
Be it Hollywood or Bollywood..
Break implies Craft Service!
1254
01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:08,369
Something is not right.
1255
01:16:08,623 --> 01:16:09,561
Give it a thought.
1256
01:16:09,615 --> 01:16:11,382
There is no script nor a crew..
1257
01:16:11,504 --> 01:16:14,418
Only that Ape David Chadha,
and his Marines!
1258
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:15,920
What do you make of all this?
1259
01:16:34,094 --> 01:16:34,738
Oh yes.. It is!
1260
01:17:06,285 --> 01:17:07,277
Paddi.
1261
01:17:07,373 --> 01:17:08,845
Now don't be shy!
1262
01:17:08,941 --> 01:17:11,952
It's just my first
time so..
1263
01:17:12,429 --> 01:17:13,585
Let's make it mechanical.
1264
01:17:13,772 --> 01:17:15,727
You close your eyes..
1265
01:17:15,916 --> 01:17:19,244
Walk towards me.. And just kiss me!
1266
01:17:19,852 --> 01:17:21,270
That sounds good!
1267
01:17:21,548 --> 01:17:24,047
So here I come Sugandha Baby.
1268
01:17:24,106 --> 01:17:25,493
Yes. Paddi come..
1269
01:17:25,547 --> 01:17:26,933
Come to me!
1270
01:17:27,178 --> 01:17:28,882
I'm coming Sugandha Baby!
1271
01:17:30,412 --> 01:17:33,488
I am coming.. Sugandha Baby!
1272
01:17:33,739 --> 01:17:35,091
Come Paddi come!
1273
01:17:35,498 --> 01:17:36,687
Say my name!
1274
01:17:56,810 --> 01:17:58,131
Sugandha Baby.
1275
01:17:58,474 --> 01:17:59,760
You are freezing!
1276
01:18:02,313 --> 01:18:03,666
The cold has made you so stiff!
1277
01:18:07,241 --> 01:18:08,496
Sugandha baby..
1278
01:18:08,585 --> 01:18:10,123
I finally feel like a Man!
1279
01:18:10,185 --> 01:18:11,244
Paddi.
1280
01:18:12,009 --> 01:18:13,198
That's a man!
1281
01:18:26,473 --> 01:18:28,588
Sir! Sir!
1282
01:18:38,376 --> 01:18:40,329
Can you stop crying like a girl?!
1283
01:18:40,391 --> 01:18:41,384
Let me think.
1284
01:18:41,415 --> 01:18:44,557
I said it in the chopper..
Let's go back to India!
1285
01:18:44,614 --> 01:18:46,153
But all of you laughed at me!
1286
01:18:46,214 --> 01:18:48,877
I am amazed,
we weren't suspicious at all!
1287
01:18:48,935 --> 01:18:50,986
How were we fooled so easily?
1288
01:18:51,239 --> 01:18:52,776
We were not fooled.. But tricked.
1289
01:18:52,839 --> 01:18:53,831
By this Sharma!
1290
01:18:54,246 --> 01:18:56,200
He lured us into this Hollywood trap!
1291
01:18:56,262 --> 01:18:57,418
Why are you blaming me?
1292
01:18:57,478 --> 01:18:59,049
I have been tricked by Paddi!
1293
01:18:59,110 --> 01:19:00,069
What?
1294
01:19:00,966 --> 01:19:01,991
I tricked you?
1295
01:19:02,054 --> 01:19:03,276
Who else!
1296
01:19:03,398 --> 01:19:05,962
I was innocently making
coffee in the kitchen,
1297
01:19:06,085 --> 01:19:08,235
he selfishly tricked
me into Hollywood..
1298
01:19:08,549 --> 01:19:09,740
I wasn't even interested!
1299
01:19:09,829 --> 01:19:11,118
What the hell are you saying.
1300
01:19:11,877 --> 01:19:12,838
Uh.. Sir!
1301
01:19:12,933 --> 01:19:14,538
Who made me Osama?
1302
01:19:14,597 --> 01:19:15,785
Who sold my farms?
1303
01:19:15,877 --> 01:19:17,830
Who made me a method actor?
1304
01:19:18,212 --> 01:19:20,612
Who cooked up the myth of 'Paddi,
The Star'?
1305
01:19:20,677 --> 01:19:25,479
It's my fault that I tried to
make a star out of a country bumpkin!
1306
01:19:25,925 --> 01:19:27,114
Really!
1307
01:19:27,235 --> 01:19:29,865
As if you are the heir
to the British Throne!
1308
01:19:29,891 --> 01:19:31,692
'Sweet - Maker Sharma!'
1309
01:19:31,812 --> 01:19:33,198
Have you forgotten.
1310
01:19:33,443 --> 01:19:36,326
The sweat drenching
experience of sweet making!
1311
01:19:36,420 --> 01:19:41,700
Sharma senior still sells Churros.
Crooning Ten Bucks for Two!
1312
01:19:43,364 --> 01:19:45,677
Ten bucks for two!
1313
01:19:48,035 --> 01:19:48,875
What?
1314
01:19:48,932 --> 01:19:50,797
Now Churro makers
are becoming film makers!
1315
01:19:50,819 --> 01:19:52,773
Hare Krishna!
1316
01:20:08,993 --> 01:20:10,020
Hello friends!
1317
01:20:12,289 --> 01:20:16,228
We have to shoot immediately.
1318
01:20:17,921 --> 01:20:19,526
Where is Sharma?
1319
01:20:31,488 --> 01:20:32,394
Sir?!
1320
01:20:35,168 --> 01:20:37,350
Sir? You are frying Churros?
1321
01:20:38,783 --> 01:20:42,025
Guys! Give me some
alone time with my buddy.
1322
01:20:43,968 --> 01:20:44,841
Paddi.
1323
01:20:45,952 --> 01:20:48,297
These are not just Churros.
1324
01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:50,310
This is my inborn talent!
1325
01:20:50,527 --> 01:20:52,710
A talent I never appreciated!
1326
01:20:53,087 --> 01:20:55,520
But today, after you blurted it out.
1327
01:20:55,615 --> 01:20:57,896
I have finally made
peace with my reality!
1328
01:20:58,079 --> 01:20:59,399
Now you watch!
1329
01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:03,046
Before I die, I'll make
such amazing Churros.
1330
01:21:03,199 --> 01:21:04,999
That people will forget my film!
1331
01:21:06,590 --> 01:21:07,495
Sir..
1332
01:21:08,383 --> 01:21:10,434
Please forgive me..
1333
01:21:10,910 --> 01:21:13,409
I have made a grave mistake!
1334
01:21:14,365 --> 01:21:19,114
I have screwed up my mentor!
And driven him crazy!
1335
01:21:20,191 --> 01:21:21,216
Paddi!
1336
01:21:21,406 --> 01:21:23,042
Don't feel bad..
1337
01:21:23,102 --> 01:21:25,960
Here.. I will not let you die hungry!
1338
01:21:26,013 --> 01:21:28,261
Sir.. I have lost my appetite!
1339
01:21:31,037 --> 01:21:32,958
Sir, it's delicious.
What's the ingredient?
1340
01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:34,658
Paddi, emotion.
1341
01:21:35,676 --> 01:21:38,438
Sir, they are ready to shoot now..
1342
01:21:39,101 --> 01:21:40,126
The moment you say Action.
1343
01:21:40,188 --> 01:21:42,208
First these scumbags
will terminate me..
1344
01:21:42,301 --> 01:21:43,328
And then you!
1345
01:21:43,613 --> 01:21:46,788
I don't wanna get massacred by them..
1346
01:21:46,907 --> 01:21:49,091
I'd rather have you kill me!
1347
01:21:49,372 --> 01:21:53,856
Right Sir! You shoot me!
I beg of you.. Shoot me!
1348
01:21:55,131 --> 01:21:56,092
Paddi!
1349
01:21:56,412 --> 01:21:57,666
That's a brilliant idea!
1350
01:21:57,723 --> 01:21:59,426
You've saved all of us!
1351
01:21:59,643 --> 01:22:00,768
Wow Sharma!
1352
01:22:01,244 --> 01:22:03,143
These are amazing!
1353
01:22:03,292 --> 01:22:04,512
By the way..
1354
01:22:05,243 --> 01:22:06,880
What were you saying that
the Marines don't work?
1355
01:22:06,939 --> 01:22:10,812
Mr. David, these American
actors are very realistic.
1356
01:22:10,874 --> 01:22:12,348
And Bollywood actors are melodramatic!
1357
01:22:12,377 --> 01:22:14,080
It's a terrible combination.
1358
01:22:14,138 --> 01:22:16,485
It's like eating Chicken
Burger with Chicken Curry!
1359
01:22:16,507 --> 01:22:18,689
That's why the shoot is suffering..
1360
01:22:18,811 --> 01:22:21,757
Look at them. Such realistic
emotions.. Very innocent!
1361
01:22:21,817 --> 01:22:22,658
Very real!
1362
01:22:22,713 --> 01:22:24,547
And look at them. Fake!
1363
01:22:25,562 --> 01:22:26,653
But what's the point?
1364
01:22:26,969 --> 01:22:28,225
Trust me..
1365
01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:30,403
Let us Indians play the
Marines.
1366
01:22:30,586 --> 01:22:32,834
It will balance it out!
1367
01:22:33,944 --> 01:22:34,817
Meaning?
1368
01:22:34,873 --> 01:22:36,707
Chirag, Rahul and l..
1369
01:22:36,890 --> 01:22:39,072
Will dress up like Marines and
enter Osama's room..
1370
01:22:39,130 --> 01:22:40,189
They will shoot!
1371
01:22:40,442 --> 01:22:43,355
While I candidly
capture Osama's death.
1372
01:22:43,416 --> 01:22:44,541
Guerilla style!
1373
01:22:44,761 --> 01:22:46,528
Sharma! These Marines are Americans!
1374
01:22:46,745 --> 01:22:49,471
Not to sound racist but.
Your colours won't match.
1375
01:22:49,592 --> 01:22:51,971
Oh c'mon Mr. David!
The Marines are wearing helmets.
1376
01:22:52,024 --> 01:22:53,496
You can barely see their faces...
1377
01:22:53,561 --> 01:22:58,656
As it is, if you decide to swap
Sgt. Bob with Sgt. Jack.
1378
01:22:58,808 --> 01:23:02,135
There's no way we'd know, right?
1379
01:23:02,231 --> 01:23:04,097
No.. No.. Of course not!
1380
01:23:04,952 --> 01:23:07,898
Should I take this shot?
One take and Osama dead!
1381
01:23:08,406 --> 01:23:09,530
Alright!
" No!"
1382
01:23:09,752 --> 01:23:11,738
No.. Oh no.. I can't
allow!
1383
01:23:11,798 --> 01:23:12,792
One take. One take.
1384
01:23:13,079 --> 01:23:14,618
He'll be done in one take.
1385
01:23:15,383 --> 01:23:17,979
Mr. David! Gulp it
down and let's just do it!
1386
01:23:18,421 --> 01:23:19,863
OK! Take your shot!
1387
01:23:21,046 --> 01:23:22,814
Junior.
I need the uniforms..
1388
01:23:22,902 --> 01:23:24,506
Strip the Marines!
1389
01:23:29,015 --> 01:23:32,767
Junior! Once we get the shot.
Dispose them all!
1390
01:23:33,461 --> 01:23:34,618
That was the plan!
1391
01:23:36,341 --> 01:23:37,946
And.. Action!
1392
01:23:40,278 --> 01:23:42,809
Listen my Starsky and Hutch!
Spray the bullets on the wall..
1393
01:23:42,869 --> 01:23:46,971
Don't make their plan a success
by shooting Paddi!
1394
01:23:47,668 --> 01:23:48,727
Chill!
1395
01:23:52,949 --> 01:23:55,710
Relax Paddi! All will be good!
1396
01:23:55,765 --> 01:23:57,151
Sugandha baby..
1397
01:23:57,237 --> 01:23:59,385
I'm really scared
of Rahul and Chirag.
1398
01:23:59,475 --> 01:24:03,197
Their overacting
will definitely kill me!
1399
01:24:03,923 --> 01:24:05,080
Sugandha baby?
1400
01:24:05,203 --> 01:24:07,419
I love your rustic charm!
1401
01:24:15,411 --> 01:24:16,284
Paddi. Die!
1402
01:24:17,011 --> 01:24:19,411
Sucker is dead!
1403
01:24:19,571 --> 01:24:21,273
Stop overacting Sugandha.
1404
01:24:27,347 --> 01:24:29,943
He is Dead. He is Dead.
Osama is finally dead!
1405
01:24:36,722 --> 01:24:37,594
Sir!
1406
01:24:39,345 --> 01:24:40,056
Sir!
1407
01:24:40,306 --> 01:24:41,724
There's no blood on Osama!
1408
01:24:43,217 --> 01:24:44,603
See.. No blood!
1409
01:24:44,753 --> 01:24:45,691
Never mind!
1410
01:24:45,746 --> 01:24:48,124
We will just take a separate
shot of the dead body..
1411
01:24:48,370 --> 01:24:49,625
Come on.. Call the chopper back.
1412
01:24:50,034 --> 01:24:51,354
Give me some Churros!
1413
01:24:51,890 --> 01:24:55,796
Base to Mute. Return with feedback!
I repeat.. Return with feedback.
1414
01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:58,235
Hey Junior! I'll have a hot dog.
1415
01:24:58,769 --> 01:24:59,795
What?
1416
01:24:59,953 --> 01:25:01,784
Put David on the line please.
1417
01:25:01,936 --> 01:25:04,697
Sir! Sharma!
1418
01:25:05,231 --> 01:25:06,672
- Sharma?
- Yes!
1419
01:25:07,825 --> 01:25:08,468
Yes Sharma?
1420
01:25:08,528 --> 01:25:12,600
Mr. David focus! Your Osama
flew over the CUCKOO'S nest!
1421
01:25:13,167 --> 01:25:15,317
Screw you hairball!
1422
01:25:15,439 --> 01:25:18,833
We are off to India. While you
suck on those Churros!
1423
01:25:20,879 --> 01:25:24,121
You son of a bitch!
Screw you on a bed of nails!
1424
01:25:24,623 --> 01:25:25,975
What happened? Speak up you Asswipe!
1425
01:25:26,030 --> 01:25:27,764
Paddi. It got disconnected!
1426
01:25:27,822 --> 01:25:30,356
Call him back.
I wanna abuse Junior now!
1427
01:25:30,735 --> 01:25:32,437
Junior! Get the chopper out. Fast!
1428
01:25:56,173 --> 01:25:59,032
Khaleeli Sir.. Helicopter!
1429
01:26:17,388 --> 01:26:18,480
Paddi. ls your face alright?
1430
01:26:18,540 --> 01:26:20,078
Sir.. My hand!
1431
01:26:20,141 --> 01:26:23,498
I don't care even if you lose your
hand. Just take care of your face!
1432
01:26:28,108 --> 01:26:29,646
Paddi. Hands up!
1433
01:26:34,060 --> 01:26:35,826
Sheikh Osama!
1434
01:26:40,362 --> 01:26:41,518
What's going on?
1435
01:26:43,467 --> 01:26:44,688
Welcome my clown!
1436
01:26:45,163 --> 01:26:47,312
Listen to me, you clown!
1437
01:26:47,370 --> 01:26:49,325
Everyone here thinks
you are the real Osama.
1438
01:26:49,515 --> 01:26:51,828
And if they find out
you are an imposter.
1439
01:26:52,043 --> 01:26:54,638
They will cut you into pieces!
1440
01:26:55,018 --> 01:26:57,581
So come to daddy..
1441
01:26:57,929 --> 01:26:59,849
Come to daddy!
1442
01:27:01,642 --> 01:27:02,963
Paddi, don't go!
1443
01:27:12,296 --> 01:27:13,170
Paddi!
1444
01:27:13,449 --> 01:27:14,355
Paddi!
1445
01:27:14,408 --> 01:27:15,183
Paddi!
1446
01:27:15,241 --> 01:27:16,561
What are you doing?
1447
01:27:40,711 --> 01:27:43,024
No.. No.. He is an imposter.
1448
01:27:43,655 --> 01:27:50,735
Bulla, you swine!
Tell them that he is an imposter!
1449
01:27:57,862 --> 01:27:58,921
My Star!
1450
01:27:59,430 --> 01:28:01,000
So absorbed in his character!
1451
01:28:17,381 --> 01:28:19,978
Listen to me you imbeciles!
1452
01:28:20,036 --> 01:28:22,896
It is a sin to kill
a fellow Mujahideen.
1453
01:28:39,140 --> 01:28:40,558
Paddi! Duck!
1454
01:28:49,827 --> 01:28:51,213
Paddi!
1455
01:28:54,499 --> 01:28:55,557
Paddi! Duck!
1456
01:29:32,288 --> 01:29:34,024
Hey Paddi!
1457
01:29:35,712 --> 01:29:37,032
Come here!
1458
01:29:38,592 --> 01:29:40,197
Come to me!
1459
01:29:43,073 --> 01:29:44,938
Osama. is MINE!
1460
01:30:19,518 --> 01:30:20,806
Stop!
1461
01:30:21,023 --> 01:30:23,239
Don't move!
Or I will blow my brains out!
1462
01:30:23,295 --> 01:30:25,859
No.. Not the face!
1463
01:30:25,918 --> 01:30:27,457
I need Osama alive!
1464
01:30:27,518 --> 01:30:29,022
Take it up and shoot!
1465
01:30:29,725 --> 01:30:30,783
Pull the trigger!
1466
01:30:30,813 --> 01:30:31,937
- No.. Ignore him!
- Pull!
1467
01:30:32,030 --> 01:30:32,705
NO!
1468
01:30:32,732 --> 01:30:33,726
- Pull!
- NO!
1469
01:30:33,789 --> 01:30:34,629
- Pull!
- NO!
1470
01:30:34,686 --> 01:30:35,808
Shut up you asswipe!
1471
01:30:36,093 --> 01:30:37,663
I will be Osama no more!
1472
01:30:37,725 --> 01:30:39,263
Paddi. Stop!
1473
01:30:39,357 --> 01:30:41,506
Look here! I'm clearing your accounts!
1474
01:30:42,300 --> 01:30:43,205
For real?
1475
01:30:43,260 --> 01:30:44,132
Yes. Here!
1476
01:30:44,188 --> 01:30:47,231
I am coming.. Wait!
1477
01:30:47,707 --> 01:30:50,567
Here is the first installment.
Give me the gun!
1478
01:30:51,932 --> 01:30:53,732
I will smack you! Why did you shoot?
1479
01:30:53,819 --> 01:30:55,009
I didn't shoot!
1480
01:30:58,683 --> 01:31:00,484
- Hare Krishna!
- Mr. President!
1481
01:31:26,650 --> 01:31:27,490
Yes Sir!
1482
01:31:36,891 --> 01:31:37,850
He missed me!
1483
01:31:40,377 --> 01:31:41,403
Bit embarrassing, Sir!
1484
01:31:41,530 --> 01:31:43,908
Shit happens! Here, try once more!
1485
01:31:43,961 --> 01:31:46,558
Paddi stop. Let me handle this!
1486
01:31:46,776 --> 01:31:48,315
Mr. David! Khaleeli Sir!
1487
01:31:52,922 --> 01:31:54,788
All of us want Paddi!
1488
01:31:55,193 --> 01:31:56,633
But that is not possible!
1489
01:31:56,695 --> 01:31:57,754
Says who?
1490
01:31:57,816 --> 01:31:59,257
I mean, let's compromise!
1491
01:32:00,824 --> 01:32:02,394
Khaleeli Sir.. What do you want?
1492
01:32:02,521 --> 01:32:04,954
We need.. Donation!
1493
01:32:05,401 --> 01:32:06,392
How much donation?
1494
01:32:06,584 --> 01:32:07,773
Five.. Hundred..
1495
01:32:07,831 --> 01:32:08,605
Thousand.
1496
01:32:08,663 --> 01:32:09,786
Five Hundred Thousand Dollars!
1497
01:32:10,039 --> 01:32:10,748
Done? Sure?
1498
01:32:10,999 --> 01:32:11,959
Sure!
1499
01:32:12,024 --> 01:32:13,891
Mr. David. Write a cheque..
1500
01:32:14,040 --> 01:32:15,545
That's the only way to get rid of him!
1501
01:32:20,375 --> 01:32:23,484
If you ever need a suicide bomber..
1502
01:32:23,542 --> 01:32:24,447
Do remember me!
1503
01:32:24,503 --> 01:32:25,561
This is my card!
1504
01:32:25,621 --> 01:32:28,503
Khaleeli Baser Wasiqi!
We don't have any branches!
1505
01:32:31,543 --> 01:32:34,237
Mr. David.
Why do you want to kill Paddi?
1506
01:32:34,455 --> 01:32:35,710
What's your deal?
1507
01:32:44,885 --> 01:32:46,206
I have an idea!
1508
01:32:47,477 --> 01:32:49,911
I'll get you a proof..
1509
01:32:50,359 --> 01:32:51,744
I'll get you a proof..
1510
01:32:51,990 --> 01:32:54,204
That'll make your President
an overnight sensation!
1511
01:33:07,251 --> 01:33:08,123
Yes we can!
1512
01:33:08,179 --> 01:33:08,922
Yes we can!
1513
01:33:08,980 --> 01:33:10,104
And. Cut it!
1514
01:33:10,548 --> 01:33:12,381
Here you go David.
Your proof is ready.
1515
01:33:12,436 --> 01:33:13,112
Very good!
1516
01:33:19,796 --> 01:33:21,693
One simple demand Mr. President.
1517
01:33:22,547 --> 01:33:23,900
One Hollywood film!
1518
01:33:27,283 --> 01:33:28,821
Breaking News!
1519
01:33:29,012 --> 01:33:33,660
White house has finally released
the tape of the Osama killing!
1520
01:33:33,907 --> 01:33:36,766
America wanted their proof, and
America got their proof..
1521
01:33:36,819 --> 01:33:39,676
I took out Osama Bin Laden myself,
with my own hands.
1522
01:33:39,826 --> 01:33:42,838
I'm a brave leader and that's why
I'm your President!
1523
01:33:43,345 --> 01:33:45,212
That's why you gave me a second term.
1524
01:33:45,234 --> 01:33:46,936
And that's why this is a sequel!
1525
01:33:47,025 --> 01:33:50,169
Now, a renowned Hollywood
producer has announced.
1526
01:33:50,354 --> 01:33:52,339
That he will make a
film based on this story!
1527
01:33:52,689 --> 01:33:55,035
The name of the film
is Tora Bora Nights!
1528
01:34:06,416 --> 01:34:08,151
Sir.. Shall we?
1529
01:34:25,392 --> 01:34:27,476
Can you tell us more about the
actor in your movie?
1530
01:34:28,495 --> 01:34:30,547
He is not an actor. He is a STAR!
1531
01:34:31,471 --> 01:34:34,132
You can only see my eyes in the film..
1532
01:34:34,191 --> 01:34:35,479
But I'm a trained actor.
1533
01:34:40,911 --> 01:34:44,698
For every second...
One expression, you know!
1534
01:34:45,456 --> 01:34:47,702
I am playing an extra in this film!
1535
01:34:48,398 --> 01:34:49,652
It's a 10 second role!
1536
01:34:49,902 --> 01:34:51,321
A blink and a miss!
1537
01:34:52,366 --> 01:34:54,745
It's a sequel for
me to be Osama's voice!
1538
01:34:55,277 --> 01:34:59,118
And the world knows that only
Rahul Singh can do it!
1539
01:34:59,534 --> 01:35:03,635
Tora Bora Nights!
It's a family entertainer!
1540
01:35:04,109 --> 01:35:06,226
Is there any song and dance?
1541
01:35:06,893 --> 01:35:08,017
Song and Dance?
1542
01:35:08,429 --> 01:35:12,979
No.. It's a Hollywood film..
No vulgarity!
1543
01:35:13,389 --> 01:35:14,327
I can't allow!
1544
01:38:15,138 --> 01:38:16,578
Khaleeli Sir!
1545
01:38:16,770 --> 01:38:18,603
Daaga. I got it!
1546
01:38:19,585 --> 01:38:21,288
I got the money, Daaga!
1547
01:38:21,314 --> 01:38:22,503
Now we will attain Heaven!
1548
01:38:24,225 --> 01:38:25,416
Uh.. Oh!
1549
01:38:27,489 --> 01:38:28,907
I am just gonna conclude this.
1550
01:38:29,121 --> 01:38:32,929
By quoting,
verse 4, chapter 5 of Dangerous.
1551
01:38:33,472 --> 01:38:37,641
By Saint Michael Jackson!
1552
01:38:38,626 --> 01:38:42,313
That it don't matter
if you are black or white..
1553
01:38:42,817 --> 01:38:44,770
Or for that matter, even brown..
1554
01:38:44,800 --> 01:38:45,892
OK.. Let's go!
102150
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