All language subtitles for Tere Bin Laden Dead or Alive (2016)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:09,189 --> 00:02:11,372 Hello, hello.. 3, 2, 1.. Mic testing! 2 00:02:11,557 --> 00:02:13,063 Attention! All of Chandni Chowk's couch potatoes 3 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:15,819 are hereby invited to Senior Sharma's sweet shop. 4 00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:18,532 We are handing out free Churros. 5 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,841 Get off the phone, you twerp! 6 00:02:20,996 --> 00:02:23,592 Sharma Senior, let the sassy spoon be, here's the mic.. 7 00:02:23,746 --> 00:02:25,252 Introduce them to your son! 8 00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:26,565 Friends, 9 00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:29,543 It's a dream of every sweet-maker. 10 00:02:29,763 --> 00:02:31,114 That his son.. 11 00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,252 Becomes an even bigger sweet-maker... 12 00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:35,556 And that day, has finally come.. 13 00:02:37,184 --> 00:02:40,294 I gift my son this sassy spoon. 14 00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,058 "Hold it tight my son." 15 00:02:42,272 --> 00:02:45,828 And thus begin the 'making of the sweet-maker ceremony!' 16 00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:54,785 Congratulations Sharma Junior. 17 00:02:55,135 --> 00:02:59,457 Make sure you add beef flavored Churros to the new menu! 18 00:02:59,582 --> 00:03:01,186 He is right! 19 00:03:01,917 --> 00:03:05,605 Lord Phikaner is here! Lord Phikaner is here! 20 00:03:11,614 --> 00:03:13,412 My Sire. My Sire! 21 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:15,457 You are blessed! 22 00:03:16,123 --> 00:03:18,504 Welcome to our small sweet-maker's community. 23 00:03:19,292 --> 00:03:20,417 Fry till your sweat makes the oil crackle! 24 00:03:20,541 --> 00:03:21,532 Victory to our mother! 25 00:03:21,916 --> 00:03:24,861 Down boy.. Down! 26 00:03:24,923 --> 00:03:27,301 - Sweet boy! - Come! 27 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,028 Fry your first Churros... 28 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,945 - And make me proud! - Sharma Senior! 29 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,922 Please croon your famous sales pitch. 30 00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,680 Sharma's Churros. 31 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,927 Ten bucks for two! 32 00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:38,431 Sharma's Churros. 33 00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:39,808 Ten bucks for two! 34 00:03:40,122 --> 00:03:41,081 Sharma's Churros. 35 00:03:41,178 --> 00:03:42,595 Ten bucks for two! 36 00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:43,996 Sharma's Churros. 37 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,277 Ten bucks for two! 38 00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:47,328 Dad! 39 00:03:48,088 --> 00:03:49,244 Can I take a leak? 40 00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:50,973 No problem. 41 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,498 His nerves are acting up.. Go son.. sprinkle hard! 42 00:03:54,232 --> 00:03:54,941 Sharma senior.. 43 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:56,418 Once more please! 44 00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:57,948 Sharma's Churros. 45 00:03:58,007 --> 00:03:59,360 Ten bucks for two! 46 00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:00,831 Sharma's Churros. 47 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,156 I will not make Churros! 48 00:04:37,074 --> 00:04:38,907 So what will you do in Mumbai'? 49 00:04:39,731 --> 00:04:40,668 I will make Films! 50 00:04:55,888 --> 00:04:58,899 Kiddo. We only make religious films. 51 00:04:59,151 --> 00:05:01,650 Like 'Eyes of the good gody god' 52 00:05:01,775 --> 00:05:03,575 'Blades of the good lordy lord' 53 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,073 Super Spider Iron man is equal to HANUMAN! 54 00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,549 You got something like that? 55 00:05:17,422 --> 00:05:20,051 I love blowing.. Flutes! 56 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:23,222 And the one that blows the best. 57 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,125 Gets to make a film.. 58 00:05:26,604 --> 00:05:27,826 Handsome! 59 00:05:27,885 --> 00:05:29,783 What is your plan. tonight? 60 00:05:33,546 --> 00:05:34,508 Look kiddo! 61 00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,401 Blockbusters are made by stars! 62 00:05:37,132 --> 00:05:38,288 You get those bastards. 63 00:05:38,411 --> 00:05:40,243 I'll get you the film... OK? 64 00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:50,219 - Dude! - One burger! 65 00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,627 Shetty Sisters give way to new talent... 66 00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,585 Get a story.. Take a film! 67 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:05,202 Last date of submission 14th February? 68 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,864 Love struck like a hurricane. 69 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,679 Shook the world and gave it pain! 70 00:06:20,741 --> 00:06:23,534 Love struck like a hurricane. 71 00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,021 Shook the world and gave it pain! 72 00:06:28,837 --> 00:06:36,999 Stay away from love, the sight is disgusting.. 73 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:44,226 Like a monkey in your bed with a happy ending! 74 00:06:44,386 --> 00:06:46,765 Love struck like a hurricane. 75 00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:49,325 Shook the world and gave it pain! 76 00:06:49,378 --> 00:06:50,851 Stop! I can't clench my butt no more! 77 00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,234 You son of your sister! 78 00:06:52,289 --> 00:06:54,156 Do I look like a beggar to you? 79 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,741 Who else will sing in a bus.. Frank Sinatra? 80 00:06:58,273 --> 00:07:00,587 Oh! I wish your mother goes to a brothel! 81 00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,343 Do you even know who I am? 82 00:07:02,498 --> 00:07:04,264 I am Paddi Singh! 83 00:07:04,351 --> 00:07:06,271 A very famous folk singer. 84 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,368 Sister with a turtle neck! 85 00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:10,535 I came to Mumbai to show my talent! 86 00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,482 But this city is Evil! 87 00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:42,724 Move aside. . Fart face! 88 00:07:45,725 --> 00:07:46,630 Hey bro! 89 00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:47,963 Bro! 90 00:07:48,796 --> 00:07:49,602 Yo..Stinky boy! 91 00:07:49,753 --> 00:07:50,562 Yo..Stinky boy! 92 00:07:50,618 --> 00:07:51,644 What do you want? 93 00:07:51,707 --> 00:07:53,376 Don't be scared brother! 94 00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:55,493 I am an artist just like you 95 00:07:55,803 --> 00:07:57,537 I can see hunger in your eyes! 96 00:07:58,618 --> 00:07:59,939 Do you wanna eat something? 97 00:07:59,994 --> 00:08:00,604 Yes. 98 00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:03,739 Enough Sir! I'll die of high blood pressure. 99 00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:05,122 Eat. 100 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,058 I have been toyed enough by these recording companies! 101 00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,677 I am off to my village and back to farming! 102 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:14,304 Anyway. what do you do? 103 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,891 Well.. I have been trying to make a film. 104 00:08:17,432 --> 00:08:18,850 Only recently someone's face. 105 00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:20,183 Gave me an idea! 106 00:08:20,246 --> 00:08:21,121 Congratulations Sir! 107 00:08:21,174 --> 00:08:22,363 Whose face is it? 108 00:08:25,399 --> 00:08:26,142 Yours! 109 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,420 My face? 110 00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,783 You ought to be joking! 111 00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:31,069 No.. No.. It's true. 112 00:08:31,253 --> 00:08:33,174 Look my boy.. you will become a Star! 113 00:08:33,494 --> 00:08:37,629 But this captivating face.. But not by your nightmarish voice. 114 00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,352 What is so intriguing about my gorgeous face? 115 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:48,951 Osama! 116 00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:54,170 You will be the Osama Bin Laden of my film! 117 00:08:58,451 --> 00:08:59,509 One minute Sir! 118 00:09:02,705 --> 00:09:03,578 Listen to me! 119 00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:05,108 Your life will change! 120 00:09:05,138 --> 00:09:07,058 Every street will have your posters! 121 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,430 I'll give you five million rupees in cash too! 122 00:09:09,555 --> 00:09:11,507 Atleast tell me your name? 123 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,745 Singh.. 124 00:09:14,351 --> 00:09:15,989 Paddi Singh! 125 00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:26,357 Imagine this Shetty Sisters! 126 00:09:26,545 --> 00:09:29,403 A man wants to become a world famous journalist. 127 00:09:29,455 --> 00:09:33,393 Suddenly, he meets an Osama look alike. 128 00:09:34,862 --> 00:09:37,175 He hatches a plan and releases a fake Osama tape. 129 00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,997 Creating a havoc in the world! 130 00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,734 By the way.. I have even found an Osama look alike! 131 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,548 Paddi. 132 00:09:49,612 --> 00:09:50,736 Slide In.. Quick! 133 00:09:51,308 --> 00:09:52,269 Stop. 134 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,300 Turn.. 135 00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,091 - Hey Soul Sisters! - Profile. 136 00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:56,179 Walk. 137 00:10:01,419 --> 00:10:03,765 And the name of this film will be.. 138 00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:06,064 'Tere Bin Laden' 139 00:10:15,753 --> 00:10:17,139 AIL. 140 00:10:17,257 --> 00:10:19,057 The shot's ready for an hour! 141 00:10:19,178 --> 00:10:19,984 AIL. 142 00:10:24,904 --> 00:10:25,811 AIL. 143 00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,946 Why is he acting so starry.. Is this not his first film as well? 144 00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:41,675 Mind blowing Ali.. 145 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,279 One more! 146 00:10:43,365 --> 00:10:45,799 You will not get eggs like mine in the world. 147 00:10:46,789 --> 00:10:48,043 Feel them in your hands! 148 00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:49,258 And cut it! 149 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,792 Location change! 150 00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:53,258 We will make him.. 151 00:10:53,508 --> 00:10:55,853 Look like Osama and make a fake tape. 152 00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:57,031 And Action. 153 00:10:57,509 --> 00:11:01,413 Oh all mighty! Save me! 154 00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:03,109 Keep your mouth shut! 155 00:11:03,236 --> 00:11:05,582 Forget the mouth.. What about my eyes? 156 00:11:06,051 --> 00:11:08,103 I'm a method actor. 157 00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:10,854 And I'm doing Osama's make-up in the film. 158 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:14,695 To prepare myself. I pasted Osama's posters all over my trailer! 159 00:11:14,913 --> 00:11:17,676 I wanna absorb his face! 160 00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:28,420 I haven't written Arabic in this film.. 161 00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:30,442 I'm just acting! 162 00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:33,220 I swear on my virginity.. I have nothing against Osama! 163 00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:35,107 Please emphasize this! 164 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:44,775 Rahul Singh.. 165 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,468 Is not a mimicry artist! 166 00:11:46,527 --> 00:11:47,432 I'm an actor. 167 00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,156 Well, I do mimic sometimes for fun! 168 00:11:49,214 --> 00:11:52,573 When Sharma begged me to mimic Osama. Out of pity I agreed! 169 00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:03,870 No Sikandan. No... 170 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,016 Cut it! The rooster blew up late..One more! 171 00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:12,421 No Sikandan. No... 172 00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:14,429 Damn it! This time it blew up early.. One more! 173 00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:20,800 Yo bud! Collect the leg pieces.. Might as well have breakfast! 174 00:12:37,688 --> 00:12:39,041 Greetings friends! 175 00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:40,994 Breaking news! 176 00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:42,265 Bollywood film! 177 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,023 Tere Bin Laden. makes a big noise at the box office.. 178 00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:49,756 People have accepted the portrayal of a fake Osama in superstar Ali Zafar's debut film.. 179 00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:52,481 Is this not Cultural Terrorism? 180 00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:58,458 Our question goes out to the makers of this film about an International Terrorist. 181 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,510 Where is the real Osama? 182 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,666 L, Khaleeli. 183 00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,415 Harkat-e-Mansha a.k.a HARMAN Commander of terror group, 184 00:13:19,571 --> 00:13:23,444 Declare open the 'Olympics of Terror' 185 00:13:24,497 --> 00:13:28,218 The winners will become a part of our Suicide Bombing Squad! 186 00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:30,039 Till death blows us apart! 187 00:13:31,795 --> 00:13:34,902 Long Live Harman with a deep bass. Long live Harman's terror! 188 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,419 Long Live Harman squeeze a bomb.. Long live Harman's terror! 189 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,786 Long Live Harman with a booty shake. Long live Harman's terror! 190 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,300 Tvvinke twinkle little stat. Long live Harman's terror! 191 00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:48,566 Up above the world so high.. Long live Harman's terror! 192 00:13:48,975 --> 00:13:52,184 We wish to blast like a big bang. This is our heavenly plan! 193 00:13:52,239 --> 00:13:55,730 Long Live Harman with a deep bass. Long live Harman's terror! 194 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,966 Long Live Harman with a deep bass. Long live Harman's terror! 195 00:13:59,118 --> 00:14:02,423 Long Live Harman with a deep bass. Long live Harman's terror! 196 00:14:02,605 --> 00:14:05,584 Long Live Harman with a deep bass. Long live Harman's terror! 197 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,038 And the gun shot begins the "bomb relay" 198 00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:38,451 Ashraf pocket's the bomb! 199 00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:40,044 Hamid throws it at Jaanu! 200 00:14:40,106 --> 00:14:42,124 And he attains the heaven above! 201 00:14:44,201 --> 00:14:45,137 Hey“. 202 00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:47,054 Kids aren't allowed Cutie! 203 00:14:47,111 --> 00:14:48,172 Really. 204 00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,500 Your mother didn't hold the same opinion, when I pounded her recently! 205 00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:54,413 See this. you prick! 206 00:14:57,223 --> 00:14:58,641 NAME: Daaga. 207 00:14:58,951 --> 00:15:00,391 AGE: 35! 208 00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:02,448 I am sorry brother but. 209 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,449 There is a minimum height requirement, for these games! 210 00:15:16,804 --> 00:15:19,269 Now the Landmine Jump. Zoravar takes a huge leap. 211 00:15:20,259 --> 00:15:23,948 Unfortunately, he is a blast from the past! 212 00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,856 Now the most awaited game of Olympics of Terror.. 213 00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:29,926 The grenade throw! 214 00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,003 That's a herculean effort. 215 00:15:33,572 --> 00:15:35,557 Bulla! He will be my personal masseur. 216 00:15:46,561 --> 00:15:49,988 And why are we not shooting here? 217 00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:15,071 This suicide jacket has been personally autographed by Osama! 218 00:16:15,231 --> 00:16:19,102 The winner was to get it.. But none of you are worthy of it! 219 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,254 Sir! 220 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:23,741 Please. Give me a chance 221 00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:29,084 American Eagle! 222 00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:30,020 Run! 223 00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,588 Bulla, help me! 224 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,406 Daddy's on your ass. 225 00:17:18,294 --> 00:17:20,640 God dang. Lucky bastards! 226 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:37,211 Paddi. Come in! 227 00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:40,696 This party is in our honour.. 228 00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,549 Straighten your broach. 229 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:43,642 Sir! 230 00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:45,115 Thank you! 231 00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:46,394 Paddi. Star look.. 232 00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,537 Can I see your invite? 233 00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:54,748 Invite? 234 00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:58,770 Kiddo... I am the director of this film and this is the star. 235 00:17:58,929 --> 00:18:00,249 'The Paddi. 236 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,817 I don't care if he is the president! 237 00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:03,089 No invite! No entry! 238 00:18:03,186 --> 00:18:05,301 Let me explain..This success party. 239 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,299 Is in my honour.. 240 00:18:06,481 --> 00:18:08,399 After all I am the director of this film. 241 00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:09,523 Guard. 242 00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:11,152 Let them come.. 243 00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:12,720 They are my film crew! 244 00:18:15,535 --> 00:18:16,789 These guards I tell you. 245 00:18:16,975 --> 00:18:18,709 Paddi. 246 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,336 L-low are things back in the village'? 247 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,199 - Good! - Sharma. 248 00:18:22,254 --> 00:18:24,403 Are you thankful that I made your puny film a blockbuster! 249 00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:29,400 It's a pain to be a star.. These producers don't let you breathe! 250 00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:30,129 Paddi. 251 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,478 If he calls, just tell them 'the boss' is busy. 252 00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:32,531 Yes Boss! 253 00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:34,100 You guys look a bit lost. 254 00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,823 First time at a success party. 255 00:18:36,171 --> 00:18:38,703 Don't worry just follow me. 256 00:18:41,452 --> 00:18:42,838 What the hell? Star look! 257 00:18:42,891 --> 00:18:44,725 Hey! Serve this around! 258 00:18:45,259 --> 00:18:46,897 Do I look like a waiter to you? Buzz off! 259 00:18:47,146 --> 00:18:50,257 Ladies and Ladies. 260 00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:55,154 Thanks to your love and my stardom. 261 00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:57,129 Tere Bin Laden is a Hit! 262 00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:01,939 It had to.. 263 00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:04,718 That is why the producers, 264 00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:07,374 Shetty Sisters and I announce. 265 00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:09,325 The sequel.. 266 00:19:09,446 --> 00:19:12,490 Tere Bin Laden 2! 267 00:19:14,247 --> 00:19:21,776 This time we will do something bigger! A Striptease by India's dancing sensation! 268 00:19:23,335 --> 00:19:24,622 Action. 269 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:25,935 Drama. 270 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:26,983 Comedy. Tragedy. 271 00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:29,840 Girls.. Girls.. And Girls. 272 00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:32,042 A bigger canvas! 273 00:19:32,517 --> 00:19:33,870 And an even bigger director. 274 00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:37,134 Like.. Karan Johar! 275 00:19:41,894 --> 00:19:45,002 He's a good looking "jackass". 276 00:19:49,092 --> 00:19:52,103 He's a good looking "jackass". 277 00:19:52,163 --> 00:19:55,403 He's a good looking "jackass". 278 00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,000 He's a jackass indeed! 279 00:19:58,179 --> 00:19:58,888 Sir.. 280 00:19:59,426 --> 00:20:00,845 I kept giving a star look.. 281 00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:04,578 But nobody even recognised me.. And now my eyes hurt! 282 00:20:06,049 --> 00:20:06,594 Paddi. 283 00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,960 Nobody cares even if you were a blind street monger! 284 00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:10,818 What about me?! 285 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,353 I gave up everything. 286 00:20:14,242 --> 00:20:15,780 Those dark alleys of Chandini chovvk.. 287 00:20:16,384 --> 00:20:17,377 My dad's. Uh.. 288 00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:18,722 Flourishing business.. 289 00:20:19,424 --> 00:20:20,776 F' ush pars Love Letters! 290 00:20:21,536 --> 00:20:23,106 Now when I was so close to my dream. 291 00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,520 Ali swept it from me.. 292 00:20:24,575 --> 00:20:26,244 And stole my limelight! 293 00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:28,095 Sir.. 294 00:20:28,158 --> 00:20:29,282 Now bury the hatchet. 295 00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,945 Screw the sequel! 296 00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:33,254 I don't want to be Osama any more! 297 00:20:33,663 --> 00:20:34,819 Anyway... 298 00:20:35,198 --> 00:20:37,664 You clear my accounts and off I go.. back to my village! 299 00:20:37,726 --> 00:20:39,679 Why are we getting into accounts? 300 00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:41,443 Don't get emotional! 301 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,399 And if you leave this film.. 302 00:20:43,484 --> 00:20:45,437 This film can't be made. 303 00:20:47,773 --> 00:20:49,377 If you leave this film.. 304 00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,134 This film can't be made. 305 00:20:51,229 --> 00:20:52,385 You can leave this film.. 306 00:20:52,572 --> 00:20:54,372 But you are not going to leave this film. 307 00:20:54,907 --> 00:20:57,308 So am I doing it or not? 308 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:42,296 AbottabacL. 309 00:21:46,996 --> 00:21:47,989 Shetty Sisters! 310 00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:49,525 The time is ripe to think big! 311 00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:50,364 Imagine! 312 00:21:50,421 --> 00:21:51,807 Tere Bin Laden franchise. 313 00:21:51,861 --> 00:21:53,466 Tere Bin Laden TV series.. 314 00:21:53,526 --> 00:21:53,918 Toys“. 315 00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:54,550 Cartoons. 316 00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:55,604 Comics. Video Games. 317 00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:56,824 Tere Bin Laden sequel.. 318 00:21:57,074 --> 00:21:57,785 Prequel to the sequel.. 319 00:21:58,036 --> 00:21:58,711 Sequel to the prequel.. 320 00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:01,565 And finally remakes of all of them in Hollywood! 321 00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:04,340 And the face of this franchise. 322 00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:06,007 The brand ambassador. 323 00:22:06,066 --> 00:22:07,059 The Paddi! 324 00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:08,693 Aka... Osama. 325 00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:11,450 Shetty Sisters. 326 00:22:11,635 --> 00:22:12,953 I will definitely do this sequel.. 327 00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,876 But now I want to become a superstan. 328 00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:17,624 So I demand that you kick Ali out .. 329 00:22:17,745 --> 00:22:19,130 Fire him! 330 00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:24,504 Sir.. 331 00:22:24,528 --> 00:22:27,288 They are nodding their heads vigorously.. 332 00:22:28,272 --> 00:22:32,692 OK then! No sweat in my pants. Make Ali look like Osama! 333 00:22:34,864 --> 00:22:36,084 Baby Message. 334 00:22:36,143 --> 00:22:37,364 Who is it? 335 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:38,645 Shetty Sisters. 336 00:22:38,703 --> 00:22:39,662 Read it. 337 00:22:39,727 --> 00:22:41,199 You are fired! 338 00:22:43,118 --> 00:22:45,234 Press my stress point! 339 00:22:45,422 --> 00:22:47,408 Mr. Sharma. One bite! 340 00:22:47,662 --> 00:22:50,095 Have you booted out Ali from the sequel? 341 00:22:50,893 --> 00:22:54,102 Who is gonna carry the dead weight of this half paralyzed film? 342 00:22:55,277 --> 00:22:56,629 Osama! 343 00:22:58,508 --> 00:23:00,493 Tere Bin Laden 2.. 344 00:23:00,844 --> 00:23:02,349 Opening Shot. 345 00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:03,380 And.. 346 00:23:03,436 --> 00:23:04,428 Action. 347 00:23:08,141 --> 00:23:08,980 Cut it! 348 00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:11,118 It's swinging too much! 349 00:23:11,274 --> 00:23:12,235 Get him down! 350 00:23:12,395 --> 00:23:14,130 Sir, help! 351 00:23:14,155 --> 00:23:15,279 Where is everyone? 352 00:23:18,026 --> 00:23:21,104 What is going on? 353 00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:23,794 Why are all of you standing as if at a funeral? Who died? 354 00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:24,849 Osama! 355 00:23:26,794 --> 00:23:27,917 - Pardon? - Sir! 356 00:23:28,425 --> 00:23:29,516 Sir! 357 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,377 Get me down! 358 00:23:32,138 --> 00:23:33,642 Paddi. We are screwed! 359 00:23:33,896 --> 00:23:34,475 What? 360 00:23:34,504 --> 00:23:35,377 Sequel can't be made. 361 00:23:35,432 --> 00:23:37,777 Speak loudly! Why have you made me Superman! 362 00:23:37,831 --> 00:23:39,272 I'm sure Ali cursed us! 363 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,688 Stop swinging me! 364 00:23:41,831 --> 00:23:45,191 Stop dry humping the air Paddi! Sequel is dead! 365 00:23:45,446 --> 00:23:47,662 Osama is DEAD! 366 00:23:49,351 --> 00:23:51,249 Breaking news.. 367 00:23:51,303 --> 00:23:54,160 Osama Bin Laden is dead! 368 00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:56,361 The face that terrorized the whole world.. 369 00:23:56,549 --> 00:23:58,950 Has been sprayed with American bullets! 370 00:23:59,013 --> 00:24:01,162 Now the only question standing. 371 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,882 What will happen. Without you Bin Laden? 372 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:05,256 Yes! 373 00:24:05,926 --> 00:24:07,530 You heard it right! 374 00:24:07,909 --> 00:24:10,056 Osama is DEAD! 375 00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,526 DEAD! 376 00:24:11,652 --> 00:24:12,558 DEAD! 377 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:13,805 DEAD! 378 00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:15,268 DEAD! 379 00:24:15,427 --> 00:24:16,269 DEAD! 380 00:25:11,741 --> 00:25:12,799 DEAD! 381 00:25:12,892 --> 00:25:14,878 Love struck like a hurricane. 382 00:25:15,132 --> 00:25:17,662 Shook the world and gave it pain! 383 00:25:17,755 --> 00:25:20,002 Love struck like a hurricane. 384 00:25:20,314 --> 00:25:22,464 Shook the world and gave it pain! 385 00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,168 Proof? 386 00:25:33,785 --> 00:25:34,460 DEAD! 387 00:25:43,384 --> 00:25:47,583 Pressure is mounting on America to prove that Osama is dead! 388 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,321 The world wants to see the video where Osama was killed! 389 00:25:52,982 --> 00:25:54,520 Sir.. Listen to me! 390 00:25:54,935 --> 00:25:56,572 What are you doing Paddi? 391 00:25:57,335 --> 00:25:58,273 Sir! 392 00:25:58,326 --> 00:25:59,998 Osama is dead in the sea! 393 00:26:00,056 --> 00:26:02,171 And the sequel is dead in the rubble! 394 00:26:02,549 --> 00:26:05,660 Trust me! Trying to chase stardom is stupid! 395 00:26:06,581 --> 00:26:07,608 Anyway... 396 00:26:08,374 --> 00:26:11,679 You just clear my accounts and off I go to my village! 397 00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:16,213 Paddi! Why are the accounts coming up? 398 00:26:16,915 --> 00:26:19,001 I am the director of a hit film! 399 00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:20,924 I will not give up so easily. 400 00:26:21,108 --> 00:26:24,315 Once this Osama's death dies out. 401 00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:26,046 Producers will be calling me non-stop! 402 00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:27,605 - Really! - Obviously! 403 00:26:28,916 --> 00:26:30,422 Holy Milk of a cow.. It's ringing! 404 00:26:30,802 --> 00:26:34,326 Pick it up.. And put it on speaker! 405 00:26:37,202 --> 00:26:38,194 Hello.. 406 00:26:40,561 --> 00:26:41,947 Sharma. 407 00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:46,169 L-low does it feel to have your self respect tarnished? 408 00:26:46,737 --> 00:26:50,577 L-low dare you chuck me off the film, you piece of crap! 409 00:26:50,993 --> 00:26:54,964 I hope you realize how unworthy your existence is. 410 00:26:55,696 --> 00:26:56,788 Oh Yes! 411 00:26:57,201 --> 00:26:59,481 Ask your tone deaf villager to put his head between 412 00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,521 between his legs and run back to his farm! 413 00:27:02,159 --> 00:27:03,991 ShitWit! 414 00:27:07,054 --> 00:27:07,896 Sir.. 415 00:27:08,014 --> 00:27:09,171 Sir.. Sir.. 416 00:27:09,231 --> 00:27:12,024 No! Don't jump! Don't! 417 00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:15,955 Stop overacting Paddi! 418 00:27:16,012 --> 00:27:17,551 Might hurt your tender knees. 419 00:27:17,614 --> 00:27:19,381 I have to turn the game now.. 420 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,561 I'll return in a bit! 421 00:27:20,781 --> 00:27:23,410 Can you get some Broccoli on the way back? 422 00:27:23,597 --> 00:27:24,534 Buzz off! 423 00:27:24,652 --> 00:27:28,818 Harkat-e-Mansha shut down! Harkat-e-Mansha shut down! 424 00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:32,203 Shame on you Khaleeli! 425 00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:35,595 Your bombs and arms are all dud! No point of Terrorism without blood! 426 00:27:35,659 --> 00:27:36,595 Quiet! 427 00:27:36,651 --> 00:27:39,379 - For the sake of terrorism. - Listen to me please! 428 00:27:39,435 --> 00:27:40,690 Why should we listen? 429 00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:44,555 Your suicide bombers are not bursting properly! 430 00:27:44,810 --> 00:27:47,372 Instead they turn into a fireworks display! 431 00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:48,720 Look at him.. 432 00:27:49,385 --> 00:27:51,371 Burning like a candle in the wind! 433 00:27:52,457 --> 00:27:55,218 We signed up to be blown into martyrdom. But in vain! 434 00:27:55,466 --> 00:27:56,240 Now compensate! 435 00:27:56,298 --> 00:27:58,096 We need compensation! 436 00:27:58,249 --> 00:28:00,975 We need compensation. Compensation! 437 00:28:02,376 --> 00:28:03,946 After the death of Osama. 438 00:28:04,262 --> 00:28:06,609 The cost of arms and ammunition has gone up ten folds.. 439 00:28:06,664 --> 00:28:09,195 So we are using gun powder of one grenade into three! 440 00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:11,600 That's why you are not attaining heaven.. 441 00:28:11,718 --> 00:28:16,105 Let me assure you that we are a passionate terrorist group! 442 00:28:16,902 --> 00:28:18,440 Give us one last chance! 443 00:28:18,886 --> 00:28:24,047 Tonight we have a special screening of some great tapes of Osama bin Laden. 444 00:28:24,421 --> 00:28:27,299 Also, we are serving dinner and drinks. 445 00:28:27,459 --> 00:28:29,643 So kindly join us for an Osama Retrospective 446 00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,654 and make peace with our great loss! 447 00:30:41,044 --> 00:30:42,103 Did you give our gifts? 448 00:30:42,164 --> 00:30:44,248 No! They almost shoved it up my butt! 449 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:47,162 No one is ready to accept our arms! 450 00:30:49,621 --> 00:30:52,183 No sweat! Atleast they are here.. 451 00:30:52,371 --> 00:30:55,480 Now you see, how Osama's face gets us a rain of donations! 452 00:31:04,305 --> 00:31:05,842 Hey hottie! 453 00:31:05,969 --> 00:31:08,632 Do you wanna get lucky tonight? 454 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,386 It's a scandal! 455 00:31:10,609 --> 00:31:13,522 It's fake! Burn it down! 456 00:31:13,841 --> 00:31:15,476 What happened Sir? 457 00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:20,984 You didn't like it? 458 00:31:24,111 --> 00:31:25,235 I swear! 459 00:31:25,390 --> 00:31:27,190 I made a big mistake! 460 00:31:27,246 --> 00:31:30,902 My son added a cheap Bollywood film to the Osama tapes. 461 00:31:30,959 --> 00:31:32,115 But what to do Sir! 462 00:31:32,175 --> 00:31:35,895 This clown has an uncanny resemblance to Osama. 463 00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,687 It could fool anyone! 464 00:31:43,309 --> 00:31:44,148 Stop! 465 00:31:46,382 --> 00:31:49,141 Get all these jokers here! 466 00:31:50,156 --> 00:31:52,534 We need to send a message to the world.. 467 00:31:52,779 --> 00:31:55,605 Osama is still.. A LIVE. 468 00:33:00,290 --> 00:33:01,732 My name is David Cheddar. 469 00:33:07,459 --> 00:33:08,616 My name is David Cheddar. 470 00:33:08,675 --> 00:33:09,830 My name is David Cheddar. 471 00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:12,835 My name is David Chadha. dha. dha. 472 00:33:13,441 --> 00:33:14,401 Sounds right now! 473 00:33:16,993 --> 00:33:18,434 Hello Mr. Paddi. 474 00:33:19,234 --> 00:33:21,732 Myself, David Chadha. 475 00:33:22,274 --> 00:33:25,700 And I want to.. KILL YOU! 476 00:33:32,703 --> 00:33:36,129 Please come in! Consider it your own house. 477 00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:37,635 This is my bedroom. 478 00:33:37,727 --> 00:33:43,336 Where I personally cast all my actors! 479 00:33:44,221 --> 00:33:47,844 This is the living room where I wrote my first film! 480 00:33:47,998 --> 00:33:49,023 Very positive vibes! 481 00:33:49,086 --> 00:33:51,944 And this is the bathroom where I got my first. 482 00:33:51,997 --> 00:33:53,732 Naked Man! 483 00:33:54,621 --> 00:33:55,646 Hello Ma'am! 484 00:33:58,843 --> 00:34:00,449 No.. Positive vibes.. 485 00:34:00,636 --> 00:34:02,370 Paddi. What is wrong with you? 486 00:34:02,492 --> 00:34:04,129 I told you not to be home today! 487 00:34:04,572 --> 00:34:05,826 See, the party ran off.. 488 00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:07,902 Now how will I sell this house? 489 00:34:08,028 --> 00:34:09,151 What are you saying? 490 00:34:09,211 --> 00:34:10,880 You forced me to sell my farm to buy this house! 491 00:34:10,938 --> 00:34:12,925 Now if you sell the house.. Where will we go? 492 00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:16,738 You don't get it.. If I don't sell this house.. 493 00:34:16,794 --> 00:34:18,398 L-low will I complete my film'? 494 00:34:18,425 --> 00:34:20,258 And how will I make you a star? 495 00:34:24,217 --> 00:34:26,017 Must be another party. 496 00:34:26,073 --> 00:34:29,019 Please wrap a towel and stay inside. 497 00:34:32,759 --> 00:34:34,909 Mr. Tuteja! Please come in! 498 00:34:34,968 --> 00:34:36,256 Mr. Chadha not Tuteja. 499 00:34:36,312 --> 00:34:39,772 What's in the name sir... I am just selling the house. 500 00:34:41,399 --> 00:34:43,265 I don't want this house! 501 00:34:43,765 --> 00:34:45,686 Myself, David Chadha! 502 00:34:45,782 --> 00:34:47,420 Film Producer! 503 00:34:47,605 --> 00:34:49,690 And I want Paddi Singh. 504 00:34:50,389 --> 00:34:51,383 Paddi! 505 00:34:51,445 --> 00:34:52,439 Paddi come out fast! 506 00:34:52,502 --> 00:34:53,790 There's a producer in the house! 507 00:34:53,844 --> 00:34:55,033 Producer! 508 00:34:56,725 --> 00:34:57,751 Ma'am! 509 00:34:57,910 --> 00:34:58,936 Oh.. Hello! 510 00:34:58,998 --> 00:35:01,212 Oh.. Hello! It's an honour to meet you! 511 00:35:01,461 --> 00:35:03,960 Took a bath after the apocalypse? Welcome him! 512 00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:07,196 It's fresh! 513 00:35:07,667 --> 00:35:08,727 So Mr. Paddi. 514 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:13,242 We want to make a film with you.. 515 00:35:13,459 --> 00:35:14,397 Film! 516 00:35:14,451 --> 00:35:15,160 Where? 517 00:35:15,219 --> 00:35:16,124 There! 518 00:35:16,371 --> 00:35:17,114 Where? 519 00:35:17,140 --> 00:35:17,914 There! 520 00:35:17,970 --> 00:35:18,909 Where.. There? 521 00:35:19,058 --> 00:35:20,019 Hollywood! 522 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,709 Why're you sitting down. Sit up! 523 00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:34,650 Please join your legs! It's peeping! 524 00:35:37,233 --> 00:35:38,421 So Mr. Paddi. 525 00:35:38,544 --> 00:35:39,416 What will you have? 526 00:35:39,535 --> 00:35:40,311 Tea. 527 00:35:40,367 --> 00:35:41,240 Coffee.. 528 00:35:41,296 --> 00:35:42,201 Or role? 529 00:35:44,688 --> 00:35:46,555 Role, of course! 530 00:35:46,736 --> 00:35:49,561 And I'll have a cappuccino. Quick! 531 00:35:49,615 --> 00:35:51,032 Sir! Add some extra milk.. 532 00:35:52,845 --> 00:35:53,718 They are from abroad! 533 00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,222 Make it frothy! 534 00:35:57,423 --> 00:35:58,677 So Mr. Chadha! 535 00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:00,953 What do I have to do? 536 00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:07,189 You have to Die! 537 00:36:07,596 --> 00:36:08,305 What! 538 00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:10,832 In the film! 539 00:36:11,723 --> 00:36:12,564 In the film! 540 00:36:12,620 --> 00:36:13,777 I almost wet the couch! 541 00:36:14,092 --> 00:36:15,347 Name of the film is.. 542 00:36:15,724 --> 00:36:16,815 Tora Bora Nights! 543 00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,469 The film starts with Osama being shot! 544 00:36:20,748 --> 00:36:21,489 Bam! 545 00:36:24,618 --> 00:36:25,610 And then. 546 00:36:25,834 --> 00:36:26,379 And then? 547 00:36:26,538 --> 00:36:27,826 And then. 548 00:36:28,842 --> 00:36:29,900 And then the flashback! 549 00:36:29,962 --> 00:36:30,987 Flashback? 550 00:36:31,115 --> 00:36:33,679 Yup! It's like the last. 551 00:36:33,803 --> 00:36:36,746 Let's imagine the last 4 days of Osama's life.. 552 00:36:36,808 --> 00:36:40,716 It's like Sholay.. Meets the Mughal-e-Azam. 553 00:36:40,809 --> 00:36:43,187 Meets the Hurt locker. 554 00:36:44,072 --> 00:36:45,393 It's tailored for an Oscar! 555 00:36:45,448 --> 00:36:46,540 I'll do it Mr. Chadha! 556 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:47,560 Join your legs! It's peeping again! 557 00:36:47,625 --> 00:36:50,252 Congratulations! Sign the contract. 558 00:36:51,111 --> 00:36:52,333 Mr. Chadha. 559 00:36:52,999 --> 00:36:54,320 I have a request to make. 560 00:36:54,567 --> 00:36:55,526 Request? 561 00:36:55,623 --> 00:36:56,878 I want that. 562 00:36:57,191 --> 00:37:00,365 For this film.. the director. 563 00:37:01,415 --> 00:37:02,887 Should be my mentor. Mr. Sharma! 564 00:37:03,366 --> 00:37:04,303 Mr. Chadha. 565 00:37:04,357 --> 00:37:07,784 Only he can take care of me and make me look and act like Osama! 566 00:37:08,038 --> 00:37:09,029 Don't say no Mr. Chadha. 567 00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:10,446 I beg of you! 568 00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:11,560 Sir, he looks like a country man. 569 00:37:11,621 --> 00:37:13,934 Only Sharma can make him look like the real Osama. 570 00:37:14,052 --> 00:37:15,885 We'll dispose them both after the op! 571 00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:17,868 Done deal! 572 00:37:19,044 --> 00:37:21,128 Sir come on.. They got tricked! 573 00:37:24,099 --> 00:37:27,404 Mr. David. I got one question. 574 00:37:27,523 --> 00:37:28,777 What is you company's name? 575 00:37:28,834 --> 00:37:30,220 Cm! 576 00:37:31,493 --> 00:37:33,128 That's right. CIA. 577 00:37:33,186 --> 00:37:35,466 Cinema in America! 578 00:37:37,249 --> 00:37:39,748 So consider it a 40 day schedule.. 579 00:37:39,905 --> 00:37:43,113 Location of the first day is somewhere in.. Uh.. Somewhere! 580 00:37:43,458 --> 00:37:45,377 And after that. 581 00:37:45,791 --> 00:37:46,664 Where? 582 00:37:46,721 --> 00:37:47,745 Hollywood! 583 00:37:48,416 --> 00:37:50,402 What a smart boy! 584 00:37:50,527 --> 00:37:52,842 Here.. Put your thumb print. 585 00:37:54,177 --> 00:37:56,010 Mr. Chadha. 586 00:37:56,193 --> 00:37:57,632 I have a confession.. 587 00:37:58,942 --> 00:38:01,060 I don't have a passport! 588 00:38:03,231 --> 00:38:04,670 You don't need a passport! 589 00:38:04,862 --> 00:38:06,117 We will take you Hollywood style! 590 00:38:06,238 --> 00:38:08,551 Don't worry Mr. David. I'll explain.. 591 00:38:08,607 --> 00:38:09,479 I know Hollywood!! 592 00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:11,072 So, the car will reach at 8 in the morning.. 593 00:38:11,327 --> 00:38:12,744 Make sure that you are ready. OK! 594 00:38:13,278 --> 00:38:13,736 So long then! 595 00:38:17,085 --> 00:38:18,723 Live to die! 596 00:38:20,316 --> 00:38:23,077 Is this your mole? 597 00:38:25,051 --> 00:38:26,142 Oh.. It's detachable! 598 00:38:26,908 --> 00:38:27,868 Hollywood! 599 00:38:27,996 --> 00:38:30,560 OK then. Come on Junior let's go. 600 00:38:31,131 --> 00:38:32,636 Bye! Mr. Chadha! 601 00:38:35,834 --> 00:38:36,772 Thanks Paddi. 602 00:38:36,986 --> 00:38:38,524 Return gift to my Mentor! 603 00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:40,353 Wash my cup! 604 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,388 You, grave diggers. Where are you going? 605 00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:48,387 Who are you? 606 00:38:48,441 --> 00:38:49,881 Who me? 607 00:38:50,105 --> 00:38:51,130 Tourist! 608 00:38:51,289 --> 00:38:52,249 No..Tourist! 609 00:38:52,921 --> 00:38:53,827 OK go! 610 00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:02,526 He is the circus leader. 611 00:39:02,838 --> 00:39:04,192 Let's catch him first! 612 00:39:15,798 --> 00:39:17,882 My mommy says. 613 00:39:18,068 --> 00:39:21,561 Do what you wanna do slowly slowly.. 614 00:39:22,549 --> 00:39:24,633 My daddy says. 615 00:39:24,916 --> 00:39:28,375 What's the point of having such muscles. 616 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:36,347 I said, I have valour in my heart and fire in the belly.. 617 00:39:36,403 --> 00:39:38,073 So the world says wow.. 618 00:39:38,131 --> 00:39:41,524 And I say 'save a cow'.. 619 00:39:41,650 --> 00:39:44,726 Why don't you lick my 1..2..3..4..5..6.. 620 00:39:44,786 --> 00:39:46,772 These are my Six Pack Abs! 621 00:39:46,835 --> 00:39:48,220 Six Pack! 622 00:39:48,434 --> 00:39:50,519 My baby finds them fab.. 623 00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:53,627 These are my Six Pack Abs! 624 00:39:53,681 --> 00:39:55,067 Six Pack! 625 00:39:55,121 --> 00:39:57,019 Girls follow me in a cab.. 626 00:39:58,032 --> 00:40:00,345 These are my Six Pack Abs! 627 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,839 Six Pack! 628 00:40:03,856 --> 00:40:05,078 Six Pack! 629 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:08,727 Six Pack! 630 00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:12,627 We can't catch this guy. 631 00:40:12,751 --> 00:40:16,111 Why don't we get Osama directly? 632 00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:19,056 Sir.. I have packed your underwears... 633 00:40:19,246 --> 00:40:20,500 Pass my undies so I can pack them as well.. 634 00:40:20,557 --> 00:40:22,161 Can you think above your waist? 635 00:40:23,341 --> 00:40:24,631 It's ringing! 636 00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:26,768 Hi this is Ali, The Star! 637 00:40:26,830 --> 00:40:29,458 If you are a babe, please leave your address and figure size.. 638 00:40:29,518 --> 00:40:30,607 I'll get you picked. 639 00:40:30,669 --> 00:40:34,357 And if you are a man! Speak fast or my phone will disconnect! 640 00:40:34,444 --> 00:40:36,310 You Nymphomaniac! 641 00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:38,327 Keep screwing your bimbos! 642 00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:40,626 We are off to Hollywood! 643 00:40:41,067 --> 00:40:43,381 You are the unworthy one! Bloody Bollywood clown! 644 00:40:44,331 --> 00:40:48,848 Speak up you knuckle head! Cat bit your tongue or what? 645 00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:50,510 Paddi. The phone is disconnected! 646 00:40:50,569 --> 00:40:52,883 Call him again! I wanna abuse his sister! 647 00:40:55,944 --> 00:40:58,379 I think these guys are here.. 648 00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:00,461 But they are an hour early? 649 00:41:00,681 --> 00:41:04,620 It's Hollywood Paddi. Pack the bags quick! 650 00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:07,468 According to the plan..You go upstairs. 651 00:41:07,784 --> 00:41:09,289 Ring the bell.. Ting Tong! 652 00:41:09,704 --> 00:41:10,762 That clown will come out. 653 00:41:10,888 --> 00:41:13,288 I will put a blanket on him and close the door behind! 654 00:41:15,751 --> 00:41:17,388 Khaleeli Sir ordered. 655 00:41:17,511 --> 00:41:19,726 For you to ring the bell twice. 656 00:41:19,846 --> 00:41:21,582 Ting Tong!! 657 00:41:21,768 --> 00:41:23,120 The man might be sleeping.. 658 00:41:23,174 --> 00:41:26,217 As he comes out, I will put a blanket on him.. 659 00:41:26,342 --> 00:41:28,361 And then bash him! 660 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,352 No.. No.. You will ring the bell! 661 00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:35,021 That clown will come out. Bulla try and understand! 662 00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:38,436 No! That is not Khaleeli Sir's order! 663 00:41:39,011 --> 00:41:41,740 What a rainbow colored van! 664 00:41:45,605 --> 00:41:47,078 Osama! 665 00:41:47,395 --> 00:41:48,583 Osama! 666 00:41:49,091 --> 00:41:51,655 Paddi, they are big fans of yours! 667 00:41:52,067 --> 00:41:53,452 I'm blushing! 668 00:41:53,793 --> 00:41:54,786 Come on let's go! 669 00:41:54,850 --> 00:41:56,236 You will also pile on? 670 00:41:56,962 --> 00:41:58,150 Idiot! 671 00:41:58,210 --> 00:42:01,898 Start driving. Your boss knows all about it. 672 00:42:08,577 --> 00:42:10,443 You missed the left to the airport! 673 00:42:10,625 --> 00:42:12,162 We are going by road.. 674 00:42:12,224 --> 00:42:14,275 And switch off your phones! 675 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:15,623 Why? 676 00:42:15,904 --> 00:42:17,922 Paddi quiet! It's Hollywood.. 677 00:42:19,745 --> 00:42:20,901 Look at the detailing! 678 00:42:21,182 --> 00:42:22,622 Even the drivers are in costumes.. 679 00:42:22,686 --> 00:42:25,120 That's why I love Hollywood! 680 00:42:31,646 --> 00:42:32,454 Sing in the right pitch Sir! 681 00:42:35,613 --> 00:42:36,967 Stop it! 682 00:42:37,437 --> 00:42:39,586 Please. Music is a sin. 683 00:42:39,901 --> 00:42:41,320 Relax dude! It's gibberish... 684 00:42:41,501 --> 00:42:43,716 What a dimwit. You keep singing! 685 00:42:53,370 --> 00:42:55,356 Trace their phones.. 686 00:43:13,656 --> 00:43:15,611 Sir.. I am driving. Vroom! 687 00:43:16,473 --> 00:43:17,379 Mr. David! 688 00:43:17,434 --> 00:43:18,306 We love you! 689 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,420 We love Hollywood! 690 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,464 Your guys are also enjoying.. Wait I'll show you 691 00:43:21,528 --> 00:43:23,393 David has sent real bufoons! 692 00:43:23,544 --> 00:43:25,463 Switch off the camera. 693 00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:27,484 Switch off the camera. 694 00:43:30,135 --> 00:43:31,324 Where did they go? 695 00:43:33,557 --> 00:43:34,463 Ah... Very good.. 696 00:43:34,582 --> 00:43:36,982 The midget can walk. And the eyes are intense! 697 00:43:37,590 --> 00:43:39,773 You don't get it.. Do you?! 698 00:43:42,837 --> 00:43:44,407 You threw my iPhone? 699 00:43:45,397 --> 00:43:47,446 This is no way to treat a Director! 700 00:43:47,508 --> 00:43:49,211 I'll tell Mr. David. 701 00:43:49,843 --> 00:43:52,124 I'll complain to our Directors' union.. 702 00:44:53,742 --> 00:44:55,062 Saale khacchar! 703 00:46:01,412 --> 00:46:03,659 Screw Hollywood! 704 00:46:04,164 --> 00:46:06,248 I have lost my butt cheeks! 705 00:46:06,371 --> 00:46:07,082 Paddi. 706 00:46:07,236 --> 00:46:08,489 Don't be fussy.. 707 00:46:11,077 --> 00:46:12,068 This is our last chance... 708 00:46:12,195 --> 00:46:13,613 If we don't do this right. 709 00:46:13,667 --> 00:46:16,809 We will be making wedding videos next. Star look! 710 00:46:18,466 --> 00:46:20,387 They have worked like asses! 711 00:46:20,418 --> 00:46:22,568 And I love the location. Beautiful! 712 00:46:24,418 --> 00:46:28,007 Somewhere in.. Somewhere! 713 00:46:28,610 --> 00:46:29,701 I love it! 714 00:46:29,985 --> 00:46:31,175 Where is David? 715 00:46:32,033 --> 00:46:33,124 David Chadha. 716 00:46:34,753 --> 00:46:35,877 DO. 717 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,240 Where are you? 718 00:46:39,681 --> 00:46:41,033 Mr. David. 719 00:46:42,047 --> 00:46:43,040 Wow.. 720 00:46:43,519 --> 00:46:44,545 Intense.. 721 00:46:46,014 --> 00:46:47,433 I like the detailing. 722 00:46:47,647 --> 00:46:48,388 Nice.. 723 00:46:48,447 --> 00:46:51,109 Daaga. I think the frame should. 724 00:46:51,296 --> 00:46:52,288 Start from here.. 725 00:46:52,511 --> 00:46:53,667 Do you have a Dolly? 726 00:46:54,046 --> 00:46:55,616 There is no dolly but we have Khaleeli. 727 00:46:55,998 --> 00:46:58,246 Oh wow.. New equipment. I love Hollywood! 728 00:46:58,430 --> 00:46:59,138 Where is it? 729 00:46:59,965 --> 00:47:01,056 Is it there? 730 00:47:01,309 --> 00:47:02,597 Sir? 731 00:47:02,909 --> 00:47:03,781 Video camera! 732 00:47:03,996 --> 00:47:04,934 Interesting. 733 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,520 It's stinking in here Bulla. 734 00:47:07,646 --> 00:47:09,249 Do you guys take a leak in here or something? 735 00:47:11,260 --> 00:47:12,514 What the...? 736 00:47:16,220 --> 00:47:17,059 Sir.. 737 00:47:17,115 --> 00:47:18,077 Sir.. 738 00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,965 What the hell? 739 00:47:30,107 --> 00:47:30,979 What happened? 740 00:47:31,290 --> 00:47:32,250 Sugandha baby? 741 00:47:33,912 --> 00:47:36,478 What a prank! I love Hollywood! 742 00:47:36,537 --> 00:47:38,042 These are our actors. 743 00:47:38,424 --> 00:47:40,029 Guys cheer up.. 744 00:47:40,089 --> 00:47:41,342 You are in Hollywood.. 745 00:47:42,551 --> 00:47:44,254 Who called these pile ones? 746 00:47:44,472 --> 00:47:45,760 Hollywood.. 747 00:47:45,816 --> 00:47:46,810 Of course, Hollywood.. 748 00:47:53,015 --> 00:47:53,757 Hollywood.. 749 00:47:53,814 --> 00:47:54,687 Shut up! 750 00:48:05,494 --> 00:48:06,399 My- 751 00:48:06,806 --> 00:48:07,862 Osama! 752 00:48:17,141 --> 00:48:18,778 Come to daddy! Come to daddy! 753 00:48:19,027 --> 00:48:19,933 Sir.. 754 00:48:20,627 --> 00:48:22,328 I don't like his intentions.. 755 00:48:24,275 --> 00:48:26,141 Finally! 756 00:48:26,355 --> 00:48:27,228 Finally! 757 00:48:27,474 --> 00:48:28,380 A senior actor! 758 00:48:28,435 --> 00:48:29,177 Hi.. 759 00:48:29,234 --> 00:48:30,261 Myself Sharma. 760 00:48:30,483 --> 00:48:33,046 OK let's see here.. Nice.. 761 00:48:34,641 --> 00:48:37,107 Just a little chest hair.. 762 00:48:37,265 --> 00:48:38,651 Nice beard! 763 00:48:38,706 --> 00:48:39,448 One minute! 764 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:42,489 Yes. 765 00:48:44,433 --> 00:48:45,459 Perfect! 766 00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:48,690 Perfect! 767 00:48:56,814 --> 00:48:58,003 Sir.. 768 00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:01,045 We are screwed! 769 00:49:03,792 --> 00:49:04,817 Junior! 770 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:05,846 Sir! 771 00:49:05,902 --> 00:49:07,636 How much longer? 772 00:49:07,789 --> 00:49:10,321 Sir, 30 minutes tops! 773 00:49:10,574 --> 00:49:14,675 Why are we talking in sign language? 774 00:49:18,443 --> 00:49:20,080 Give me that thing.. 775 00:49:21,260 --> 00:49:23,573 Don't you know this is a silent chopper? 776 00:49:25,965 --> 00:49:26,956 Now listen Barbie. 777 00:49:27,149 --> 00:49:31,664 I want this clown to look like Osama in 30 minutes! 778 00:49:32,299 --> 00:49:34,481 And you owl eyes.. Write in arabic.. 779 00:49:34,571 --> 00:49:38,543 Write that 'l, Osama, am Alive and in good care of my dear friend Khaleeli' 780 00:49:39,370 --> 00:49:41,421 But I don't know how to write in Arabic. 781 00:49:44,905 --> 00:49:47,023 Can you write in Arabic? 782 00:49:49,513 --> 00:49:50,091 Yes! 783 00:49:50,633 --> 00:49:51,658 I have proof.. 784 00:49:52,679 --> 00:49:55,757 Owl eyes will write Arabic. 785 00:49:56,201 --> 00:49:57,705 Barbie will do his make up.. 786 00:49:58,568 --> 00:50:01,165 And you.. Weirdo! Will mimic Osama's voice.. 787 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,424 Yes Sir! I am a mimicry artist! 788 00:50:06,854 --> 00:50:09,649 L.. Khaleeli loves Osama! 789 00:50:11,591 --> 00:50:14,384 Please Uncle.. We will do it! 790 00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:16,518 Chirag just write anything! 791 00:50:53,889 --> 00:50:55,689 Mona where is Osama? 792 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,359 In America! 793 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,285 It's done! 794 00:51:21,118 --> 00:51:23,104 Is he Osama or Santa Claus? 795 00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,902 Disgusting! 796 00:51:27,709 --> 00:51:30,403 You read what you have written! 797 00:51:42,173 --> 00:51:44,254 Osama sounds like a choo choo train! 798 00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:45,663 What kind of Arabic is this? 799 00:51:45,724 --> 00:51:46,846 It's Arabic, Sir.. 800 00:51:46,906 --> 00:51:48,607 Weirdo here can't read it.. 801 00:51:48,666 --> 00:51:50,815 Rahul please read only Arabic. 802 00:51:50,873 --> 00:51:51,812 It's not Arabic! 803 00:51:51,866 --> 00:51:53,600 This ass has written gibberish! 804 00:51:53,657 --> 00:51:54,400 It's Arabic! 805 00:51:54,426 --> 00:51:55,650 Don't lie, you have written gibberish. 806 00:51:59,097 --> 00:51:59,969 Shut up! 807 00:52:00,024 --> 00:52:01,116 Daaga. Shoot them all.. 808 00:52:01,303 --> 00:52:02,209 Daaga. 809 00:52:03,736 --> 00:52:05,121 Uncle, we are just actors. 810 00:52:05,176 --> 00:52:07,163 Without a Director.. We are clueless! 811 00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:08,637 What is a Director? 812 00:52:08,697 --> 00:52:09,536 Nice.. 813 00:52:09,654 --> 00:52:10,682 In fact good.. 814 00:52:10,903 --> 00:52:12,342 Good depth. 815 00:52:12,663 --> 00:52:13,656 But what do you wanna shoot here? 816 00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:14,811 You.. 817 00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:16,343 Bulla. What are you saying? 818 00:52:16,407 --> 00:52:19,069 It's Khaleeli Sir's order! Why did you pile on? 819 00:52:19,128 --> 00:52:22,367 I asked you in the van also. Didn't I? 820 00:52:22,421 --> 00:52:25,149 Go right. Now go left.. Right. Perfect! 821 00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,157 Bulla listen to me.. Let's run away! 822 00:52:27,221 --> 00:52:27,930 Sorry? 823 00:52:27,988 --> 00:52:28,796 Bollywood! 824 00:52:28,853 --> 00:52:31,069 If I can transform Paddi into 'The Paddi'.. 825 00:52:31,156 --> 00:52:33,022 I can make you 'Tha Bulla' in no time! 826 00:52:33,461 --> 00:52:34,520 Bulla. 827 00:52:34,837 --> 00:52:35,995 Bulla stop! 828 00:52:36,468 --> 00:52:37,495 Bulla stop! 829 00:52:42,548 --> 00:52:43,355 Come on! 830 00:52:43,475 --> 00:52:44,599 Khaleeli wants you.. 831 00:52:44,659 --> 00:52:45,596 Why? 832 00:52:46,162 --> 00:52:48,956 To resurrect Osama! 833 00:53:07,153 --> 00:53:08,211 And cut it! 834 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:09,945 Here.. Your tape is ready. 835 00:53:10,030 --> 00:53:12,018 Brilliant Sharma! 836 00:53:13,008 --> 00:53:14,262 I can't thank you enough for this.. 837 00:53:14,352 --> 00:53:16,054 Come on Khaleeli Sir.. 838 00:53:16,209 --> 00:53:17,200 I am a Director.. 839 00:53:17,521 --> 00:53:19,025 Can't say no to a film.. 840 00:53:19,087 --> 00:53:21,684 Films run in your family it seems. 841 00:53:23,566 --> 00:53:25,780 Can you not get into my family affairs? 842 00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:27,441 Mind your tape business! 843 00:53:27,630 --> 00:53:29,103 Don't be upset! 844 00:53:29,198 --> 00:53:32,558 Tell me.. What is Osama saying in this tape? 845 00:53:37,069 --> 00:53:38,226 Osama? 846 00:53:40,557 --> 00:53:41,682 Osama said.. 847 00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:43,152 'I am Alive'. 848 00:53:43,691 --> 00:53:44,368 And.. 849 00:53:44,491 --> 00:53:47,470 'I am with Khaleeli Sir' 850 00:53:47,627 --> 00:53:49,811 He likes you! 851 00:53:50,316 --> 00:53:51,222 And.. 852 00:53:52,235 --> 00:53:55,508 'I beg for some donations in the name of almighty' 853 00:53:56,811 --> 00:53:57,803 Right! 854 00:54:00,746 --> 00:54:05,458 OK.. Bulla. No.. Daaga. Check it once and keep it in the locker. 855 00:54:06,057 --> 00:54:07,344 Khaleeli Sir.. 856 00:54:07,816 --> 00:54:10,511 Now that your work is done.. 857 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:11,659 And the tape has also come out well.. 858 00:54:13,385 --> 00:54:16,461 I was thinking what if we leave for India? 859 00:54:16,937 --> 00:54:17,896 Paddi. Come on boy! 860 00:54:18,888 --> 00:54:22,695 Uncle! This time don't send us tied in sacks. 861 00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:24,974 Fight or train would also do.. Right boys? 862 00:54:25,927 --> 00:54:27,825 Daaga is so cute.. 863 00:54:28,647 --> 00:54:31,506 Come on Boys.. Bye Sir! 864 00:54:33,512 --> 00:54:34,832 Sharma! 865 00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:41,355 Come to daddy.. Come to daddy.. 866 00:54:44,388 --> 00:54:47,336 Look Sharma, America will definitely reply to this tape. 867 00:54:47,685 --> 00:54:49,997 Then we'll need to reply with another tape. 868 00:54:50,117 --> 00:54:54,503 Then they will reply.. And we will reply.. 869 00:54:54,563 --> 00:54:56,680 This replying game will go on forever! 870 00:54:56,739 --> 00:54:58,605 So now you are our guests. 871 00:54:58,627 --> 00:55:00,613 Pop some opium. 872 00:55:00,771 --> 00:55:02,342 And keep making tapes! 873 00:55:02,690 --> 00:55:04,391 Listen my bearded twin.. 874 00:55:04,609 --> 00:55:05,994 Spare me! 875 00:55:06,466 --> 00:55:08,452 I will never become Osama again. 876 00:55:08,803 --> 00:55:12,871 I'll go back to my village. I beg you Khaleeli Sir! 877 00:55:13,762 --> 00:55:17,896 Sir.. Atleast clear my account now! 878 00:55:17,953 --> 00:55:20,680 Paddi. Atleast see the situation! 879 00:55:44,542 --> 00:55:46,180 - But it's been three years! - Buzz off! 880 00:55:46,207 --> 00:55:48,257 You haven't paid me a dime! 881 00:56:01,084 --> 00:56:02,686 Mr. Chadha! 882 00:56:03,482 --> 00:56:04,956 Mr. Chadha! 883 00:56:07,291 --> 00:56:07,935 Americans! 884 00:56:08,186 --> 00:56:09,825 Take position and fire! 885 00:56:20,249 --> 00:56:21,788 Till death blows us apart! 886 00:56:32,215 --> 00:56:33,154 Run! 887 00:56:33,304 --> 00:56:34,395 Paddi, run! 888 00:56:36,311 --> 00:56:37,980 Sir! 889 00:56:38,039 --> 00:56:39,032 Mr. David! 890 00:56:39,095 --> 00:56:39,870 Mr. David! 891 00:56:39,927 --> 00:56:40,831 Sir! 892 00:56:43,063 --> 00:56:44,830 Mr. David. I knew it! 893 00:56:44,919 --> 00:56:46,074 Only Hollywood can save Bollywood! 894 00:56:46,133 --> 00:56:47,191 Thank me later. 895 00:56:47,799 --> 00:56:50,460 But tell me.. What were these morons up to? 896 00:56:51,478 --> 00:56:53,278 They forced us to make a fake tape of Osama! 897 00:56:53,334 --> 00:56:54,490 Bloody idiots! 898 00:56:54,806 --> 00:56:55,764 Hop in! 899 00:57:11,154 --> 00:57:11,929 What's that? 900 00:57:12,979 --> 00:57:13,687 Hollywood! 901 00:57:16,691 --> 00:57:18,196 Go there.. Go there.. 902 00:57:22,098 --> 00:57:24,411 Hey you.. American eagle! 903 00:57:24,627 --> 00:57:26,231 Give my tape. shoot him! 904 00:57:33,136 --> 00:57:35,056 Gimme the tape. Throw it! 905 00:58:11,659 --> 00:58:14,386 Osama! 906 01:00:09,801 --> 01:00:11,186 Thank you Mr. David. Thank you.. 907 01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:12,681 Thank me later! 908 01:00:12,777 --> 01:00:14,796 Guys meet Mr. David Chadha producer from Hollywood! 909 01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:16,017 Hollywood? 910 01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:16,944 Yes. 911 01:00:16,998 --> 01:00:19,881 He is making a Hollywood film 'Tora Bora Nights'.. 912 01:00:19,943 --> 01:00:22,923 I am the star of the film! And Sir is directing it! 913 01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:24,811 Live to die! 914 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,945 A Hollywood producer with US marines? 915 01:00:31,046 --> 01:00:33,512 What a funny guy.. Still cracking a joke! 916 01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:37,553 So what I was saying friends. Sharma and Paddi have a shoot to finish.. 917 01:00:37,702 --> 01:00:40,364 And our location. Somewhere in.. Somewhere. 918 01:00:40,583 --> 01:00:41,455 Is also on the way! 919 01:00:41,862 --> 01:00:44,840 So why don't we wrap up our shoot. And then drop you back home? OK. 920 01:00:45,350 --> 01:00:46,855 OK, my Ass! 921 01:00:47,909 --> 01:00:50,474 Rahul Singh doesn't attend someone else's shoot! 922 01:00:51,461 --> 01:00:53,808 Chadha Uncle.. We just escaped death! 923 01:00:53,862 --> 01:00:55,432 Please send us home! 924 01:00:55,559 --> 01:00:57,259 My cat is also alone in the house.. 925 01:00:59,749 --> 01:01:02,094 OK.. OK.. Guys! 926 01:01:02,405 --> 01:01:04,326 You can also be part of this film! 927 01:01:04,421 --> 01:01:05,261 Really! 928 01:01:05,989 --> 01:01:06,949 Sharma! 929 01:01:07,109 --> 01:01:08,330 There is no role for them! 930 01:01:08,773 --> 01:01:10,345 Mr. David.. They are Bollywood wannabes! 931 01:01:10,374 --> 01:01:13,700 For a minute in Hollywood, they will make noise for one year! 932 01:01:14,147 --> 01:01:17,061 Guys! Welcome to Hollywood! 933 01:01:18,724 --> 01:01:21,125 Love struck like a hurricane. 934 01:01:21,285 --> 01:01:23,336 Shook the world and gave it pain. 935 01:01:23,396 --> 01:01:24,106 Love struck like.. 936 01:01:24,164 --> 01:01:26,029 Paddi, careful! Chopper bladesl! 937 01:01:41,634 --> 01:01:42,659 What are you staring at? 938 01:01:42,723 --> 01:01:44,458 It's your house! Come! 939 01:01:46,243 --> 01:01:47,202 Sharma come! 940 01:01:48,290 --> 01:01:49,098 See that! 941 01:01:55,297 --> 01:01:56,868 Be careful of snakes! 942 01:01:59,168 --> 01:02:01,766 And. This is it! 943 01:02:03,809 --> 01:02:05,063 A wall! 944 01:02:05,410 --> 01:02:06,731 Where is Hollywood? 945 01:02:07,331 --> 01:02:08,837 Oh.. One minute! 946 01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:12,611 Mr. Chadha 947 01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:13,986 I'll also drink some water. 948 01:02:14,593 --> 01:02:16,099 I am parched! 949 01:02:19,009 --> 01:02:20,001 It's not coming out?! 950 01:02:52,318 --> 01:02:53,638 Come on.. 951 01:02:54,462 --> 01:02:57,321 Welcome to Somewhere in Somewhere! 952 01:02:57,790 --> 01:02:59,077 WOW! 953 01:02:59,518 --> 01:03:01,025 It looks right out of a Fairy Tale! 954 01:03:01,054 --> 01:03:02,342 Isn't it fantastic?! 955 01:03:02,398 --> 01:03:05,727 This is our Abottabad set.. Osama's House! 956 01:03:06,782 --> 01:03:07,906 What say Mr. Paddi. 957 01:03:08,573 --> 01:03:09,599 My Star! 958 01:03:10,845 --> 01:03:11,652 Why are you standing? 959 01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:12,931 Why don't you sit down. 960 01:03:14,302 --> 01:03:15,261 Sharma. 961 01:03:15,421 --> 01:03:16,448 Look.. 962 01:03:16,509 --> 01:03:18,178 Osama's bedroom. 963 01:03:18,237 --> 01:03:19,361 Isn't it nice? 964 01:03:19,550 --> 01:03:21,118 Very real Mr. David! 965 01:03:21,275 --> 01:03:22,302 Chadha uncle.. 966 01:03:22,459 --> 01:03:23,584 Very nice.. 967 01:03:23,870 --> 01:03:24,612 Thank you! 968 01:03:24,893 --> 01:03:26,976 Mr. David. Could we get a script? 969 01:03:27,133 --> 01:03:28,224 Mr. Chirag. 970 01:03:28,350 --> 01:03:30,084 There is no script to this film.. 971 01:03:30,205 --> 01:03:32,703 Because it's based on real reality! 972 01:03:34,108 --> 01:03:35,396 So Sharma! 973 01:03:35,451 --> 01:03:36,477 What was I saying? 974 01:03:37,818 --> 01:03:38,779 The scene goes like this. 975 01:03:38,812 --> 01:03:40,231 Osama is sleeping in his bedroom. 976 01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:41,310 He is sleeping! 977 01:03:41,436 --> 01:03:43,303 Suddenly we see American chopper approaching. 978 01:03:43,387 --> 01:03:44,609 US marines climb out of it. 979 01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:45,988 And barge into Osama's bedroom. 980 01:03:46,044 --> 01:03:47,233 Bam! Bam! Bam! 981 01:03:47,356 --> 01:03:48,316 Osama's dead! 982 01:03:49,979 --> 01:03:52,893 Then they will wrap up his dead body.. 983 01:03:52,955 --> 01:03:54,275 They will put him in the chopper.. Fly away. 984 01:03:54,297 --> 01:03:55,619 And throw him in the Sea. 985 01:03:56,602 --> 01:03:57,509 Black out. 986 01:03:57,659 --> 01:03:58,531 OK. 987 01:03:58,683 --> 01:03:59,741 OK, my Ass! 988 01:04:01,787 --> 01:04:03,554 What is Rahul Singh's role? 989 01:04:03,804 --> 01:04:06,115 Uncle what is the motivation of this scene? 990 01:04:07,450 --> 01:04:08,388 Mr. David. 991 01:04:09,113 --> 01:04:09,921 Let me.. 992 01:04:10,139 --> 01:04:11,011 Sugandha. 993 01:04:11,162 --> 01:04:12,898 You will be Osama's wife! 994 01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:15,069 Rustic! 995 01:04:15,290 --> 01:04:16,098 Very good.. 996 01:04:16,154 --> 01:04:18,587 Osama can't be alone! 997 01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:20,962 So the two of you.. Will be his bodyguards! 998 01:04:22,137 --> 01:04:23,774 You want ME to be a bodyguard? 999 01:04:24,281 --> 01:04:26,366 No I mean Mujahideen! 1000 01:04:26,425 --> 01:04:28,737 You will fight with the US marines! 1001 01:04:28,825 --> 01:04:30,113 That's a brilliant idea, Sir! 1002 01:04:30,169 --> 01:04:31,642 They'll all be disposed off in one shot. 1003 01:04:31,737 --> 01:04:33,024 Sharma. 1004 01:04:33,208 --> 01:04:35,390 Am I just sleeping? 1005 01:04:35,512 --> 01:04:37,498 What if him and I have some action? 1006 01:04:37,816 --> 01:04:38,689 Very good! 1007 01:04:38,744 --> 01:04:39,934 Where were you all this while.. 1008 01:04:39,992 --> 01:04:40,767 Mr. David. 1009 01:04:40,823 --> 01:04:42,526 Involvement! Very good idea! 1010 01:04:42,585 --> 01:04:44,669 Before the Marines barge in.. 1011 01:04:44,729 --> 01:04:48,350 Let's show some romance between Osama and his wife. 1012 01:04:48,536 --> 01:04:49,824 What say Paddi? 1013 01:04:51,256 --> 01:04:52,379 No Sharma! 1014 01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:53,532 I am not making a film! 1015 01:04:53,655 --> 01:04:55,705 I mean, it's not that kind of a film! 1016 01:04:56,055 --> 01:04:57,496 Mr. David listen to me.. 1017 01:04:57,558 --> 01:04:59,459 Sit down. 1018 01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:02,143 Mr. David we will shoot it aesthetically. 1019 01:05:02,198 --> 01:05:03,105 No vulgarity! 1020 01:05:03,159 --> 01:05:05,274 Sex scene for us is like honey for the bees. 1021 01:05:05,590 --> 01:05:07,806 More the sex. Bigger the audience! 1022 01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:09,529 - Really? - No.. 1023 01:05:09,974 --> 01:05:10,880 No.. I can't allow.. 1024 01:05:10,934 --> 01:05:11,894 Chadha uncle! 1025 01:05:11,959 --> 01:05:13,344 Sorry to cut your off.. 1026 01:05:13,591 --> 01:05:14,650 I wanna do.. 1027 01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:15,743 Do? 1028 01:05:16,183 --> 01:05:16,694 Do what? 1029 01:05:16,757 --> 01:05:18,361 Mr. David imagine! 1030 01:05:18,549 --> 01:05:20,024 It's raining outside. 1031 01:05:20,118 --> 01:05:21,078 Thunder! 1032 01:05:21,143 --> 01:05:24,056 Cut to! The American chopper is approaching the target. 1033 01:05:25,046 --> 01:05:26,138 It is a silent chopper.. 1034 01:05:26,198 --> 01:05:27,867 Silent? No problem. 1035 01:05:28,822 --> 01:05:29,530 Cut to! 1036 01:05:29,590 --> 01:05:31,935 Two Mujahideen are guarding the house.. 1037 01:05:32,468 --> 01:05:34,651 Everybody Stay Alert! 1038 01:05:34,805 --> 01:05:38,133 Everybody Stay Alert! 1039 01:05:38,421 --> 01:05:39,162 Echo effect! 1040 01:05:39,222 --> 01:05:41,503 Cut to! Osama is walking in his room.. 1041 01:05:41,686 --> 01:05:43,519 He is restless.. Sleep deprived. 1042 01:05:43,572 --> 01:05:45,373 He is very lonely within.. 1043 01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:48,799 Lonely effect! 1044 01:05:48,853 --> 01:05:49,811 He wants something. 1045 01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:56,728 Then suddenly his newly wedded wife walks in with a glass of milk.. 1046 01:06:02,483 --> 01:06:03,737 Osama sees her and utters. 1047 01:06:04,019 --> 01:06:04,598 I love Milk! 1048 01:06:04,659 --> 01:06:07,420 Paddi. Please. Don't disturb! 1049 01:06:07,827 --> 01:06:10,741 Osama whispers to his wife.. 'Sugarcrush. 1050 01:06:10,963 --> 01:06:12,795 'I have a very empty feeling inside, please fill me up'.. 1051 01:06:12,851 --> 01:06:13,331 Cut to.. 1052 01:06:13,586 --> 01:06:16,052 US marines are loading their guns.. 1053 01:06:18,867 --> 01:06:19,445 Cut back! 1054 01:06:19,507 --> 01:06:21,525 Osama's wife embraces him.. 1055 01:06:21,715 --> 01:06:24,693 And kisses his forehead. 1056 01:06:25,105 --> 01:06:25,531 Cut back! 1057 01:06:25,586 --> 01:06:27,605 The American chopper enters the house! 1058 01:06:27,667 --> 01:06:29,979 Mujahideen start firing at them! 1059 01:06:30,193 --> 01:06:31,612 Gun fight! Mr. David. Gun fight! 1060 01:06:31,857 --> 01:06:35,764 Inside it is Valentine's! And outside.. Halloween! 1061 01:06:35,954 --> 01:06:42,011 Just then! The Marines barge into Osama's bedroom. 1062 01:06:42,065 --> 01:06:44,793 BAM! BAM! BAM! 1063 01:06:47,248 --> 01:06:50,609 In a matter of seconds.. Osama's wife is a WIDOW! 1064 01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,407 - Widow! - Black out! 1065 01:06:54,032 --> 01:06:54,972 Brilliant! 1066 01:07:03,664 --> 01:07:05,082 Make it Sharma. Make it! 1067 01:07:05,551 --> 01:07:06,326 Oscar shot! 1068 01:07:06,704 --> 01:07:07,926 Oscar shot By God! 1069 01:07:08,496 --> 01:07:09,368 What a director. 1070 01:07:09,905 --> 01:07:10,481 What a director! 1071 01:07:10,639 --> 01:07:11,511 But sir.. 1072 01:07:11,631 --> 01:07:13,682 Junior, get the shot ready. 1073 01:07:14,063 --> 01:07:15,416 And I'll have a hot dog.. 1074 01:07:22,350 --> 01:07:24,270 You swine! What is he saying? 1075 01:07:24,718 --> 01:07:25,972 Khaleeli Sir, he said.. 1076 01:07:26,094 --> 01:07:27,926 Harkat-E-Mansha is an army of Donkeys! 1077 01:07:28,046 --> 01:07:29,367 Sick bastards! 1078 01:07:29,902 --> 01:07:30,894 Hold it Daaga! 1079 01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:32,791 To fight the Americans. 1080 01:07:32,910 --> 01:07:35,125 We need help from these Afghans. 1081 01:07:35,694 --> 01:07:40,080 Bulla. Tell these guys that Osama is alive and we know where to find him.. 1082 01:07:48,268 --> 01:07:54,325 Sir, he just ordered death upon us for making fun of Osama! 1083 01:08:17,869 --> 01:08:18,828 Khaleeli Sir.. 1084 01:08:18,957 --> 01:08:20,876 They have agreed to fight the Americans. 1085 01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,807 But under one condition. 1086 01:08:23,531 --> 01:08:24,752 Daaga has to be left behind! 1087 01:08:25,067 --> 01:08:26,638 They believe that a person without a mustache or a beard 1088 01:08:26,890 --> 01:08:28,309 cannot be a mujahideen! 1089 01:08:29,771 --> 01:08:32,914 Lights. Camera. Rain! 1090 01:08:34,923 --> 01:08:37,040 Sir, it wasn't raining when we killed Osama. 1091 01:08:38,123 --> 01:08:39,628 It's Cinematic Liberty! 1092 01:08:40,778 --> 01:08:42,643 But we're not making a movie.. 1093 01:08:43,848 --> 01:08:45,748 And action! 1094 01:08:45,865 --> 01:08:48,528 This burning thing is called fire.. 1095 01:08:48,970 --> 01:08:51,022 Come on boys.. Give me a perfect shot! 1096 01:08:52,906 --> 01:08:56,877 And once it's out. It will be ash. How intriguing!! 1097 01:08:57,193 --> 01:09:00,107 Abu Baker! Helicopter! 1098 01:09:00,233 --> 01:09:05,295 We will not die today! 'Cause today is our Independence Day! 1099 01:09:05,961 --> 01:09:07,760 Hare Krishna! Save me! 1100 01:09:07,816 --> 01:09:09,137 Cut it! 1101 01:09:09,289 --> 01:09:10,380 Chirag? 1102 01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:13,131 What the hell are you doing, Chirag? 1103 01:09:13,192 --> 01:09:14,064 What happened? 1104 01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:16,433 Why are you shouting as if someone is raping you? 1105 01:09:16,457 --> 01:09:17,198 Take the chopper back. 1106 01:09:17,256 --> 01:09:18,761 What happened Sir? 1107 01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,167 Sharma. This gun is real! 1108 01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:23,120 One bullet nicked my ear.. 1109 01:09:23,175 --> 01:09:23,950 It's red! 1110 01:09:24,007 --> 01:09:26,190 Chirag, everything is fake here! 1111 01:09:26,438 --> 01:09:27,466 Wait, I am coming! 1112 01:09:27,527 --> 01:09:28,586 Come fast! 1113 01:09:29,864 --> 01:09:31,369 Here I come! 1114 01:09:38,119 --> 01:09:40,911 Chirag. You are one big pussy! 1115 01:09:41,029 --> 01:09:42,862 This gun is all plastic. 1116 01:09:42,918 --> 01:09:44,206 Watch this! 1117 01:09:44,295 --> 01:09:45,647 Nothing happened! 1118 01:09:49,511 --> 01:09:51,049 See.. Nothing happened! 1119 01:09:51,429 --> 01:09:52,456 What happened? 1120 01:09:52,964 --> 01:09:53,773 Bob.. 1121 01:09:56,582 --> 01:09:58,023 Sgt. Bob.. 1122 01:09:59,461 --> 01:10:01,000 Come on Sgt. Bob! 1123 01:10:01,222 --> 01:10:02,826 Enough with the jokes. 1124 01:10:02,885 --> 01:10:05,384 Now get up and show everybody that you are OK! 1125 01:10:12,868 --> 01:10:14,603 He scared the hell out of us. 1126 01:10:17,668 --> 01:10:19,174 Good actor.. 1127 01:10:19,235 --> 01:10:20,360 Back to positions now! 1128 01:10:20,420 --> 01:10:22,603 Sharma. ls my make up OK? 1129 01:10:22,692 --> 01:10:24,132 Yeah it's OK.. 1130 01:10:24,196 --> 01:10:26,063 Chirag, happy'? 1131 01:10:26,116 --> 01:10:27,557 Back to positions! 1132 01:10:31,908 --> 01:10:33,609 Hare Krishna! 1133 01:10:37,730 --> 01:10:39,814 And Action! 1134 01:10:40,003 --> 01:10:41,541 Come on boys, let's go for it.. 1135 01:10:42,595 --> 01:10:44,843 Abu Baker! Helicopter! 1136 01:10:47,075 --> 01:10:50,532 Come on American dogs! 1137 01:10:50,882 --> 01:10:54,123 I'll kill everyone of you and bury you in Afghanistan! 1138 01:10:56,035 --> 01:10:59,177 - Cut it! - I'll kill everyone of you.. 1139 01:10:59,554 --> 01:11:01,737 - Cut it! - To hell with you.. 1140 01:11:01,794 --> 01:11:04,325 I said.. Cut!! 1141 01:11:07,073 --> 01:11:07,684 What? 1142 01:11:07,746 --> 01:11:09,000 Cut it! God damn it! 1143 01:11:09,058 --> 01:11:10,182 What happened? 1144 01:11:10,243 --> 01:11:11,497 I was so absorbed in the shot. 1145 01:11:11,618 --> 01:11:13,288 Absorbed, my ass! 1146 01:11:13,345 --> 01:11:14,502 What happened, Sir? 1147 01:11:14,752 --> 01:11:16,138 Sir, we're wasting time. 1148 01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:17,895 Thanks for that ridiculous performance. 1149 01:11:17,953 --> 01:11:20,614 You look like a chimp.. Stop acting like one! 1150 01:11:23,937 --> 01:11:26,316 Pack up! Pack up! 1151 01:11:26,466 --> 01:11:27,719 Sugandha baby.. Is it the dinner break? 1152 01:11:27,777 --> 01:11:30,407 - What do you mean by pack up? - Sharma what's wrong? 1153 01:11:30,433 --> 01:11:32,298 Mr. David pack him off! 1154 01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:35,368 I'll make Chirag do the action scene! 1155 01:11:35,423 --> 01:11:37,442 Go fight like Chuck Norris! 1156 01:11:37,790 --> 01:11:40,290 Sharma. Wait! Let me speak to RahuL. 1157 01:11:41,728 --> 01:11:44,010 Sir, is it a pack up or not? 1158 01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:45,578 Paddi. Keep shut for a while! 1159 01:11:45,791 --> 01:11:46,817 Sharma. 1160 01:11:48,510 --> 01:11:50,595 Sharma. We are wasting a lot of time. 1161 01:11:50,782 --> 01:11:51,874 Why don't we kill Paddi first? 1162 01:11:52,415 --> 01:11:55,110 I mean. Shoot the Osama killing first! 1163 01:11:55,295 --> 01:11:56,135 Good idea. 1164 01:11:56,190 --> 01:11:57,217 Location change. 1165 01:11:57,311 --> 01:11:58,914 Let's do the bedroom scene first! 1166 01:11:59,134 --> 01:12:01,033 Our love scene is next, handsome! 1167 01:12:02,783 --> 01:12:04,168 Daaga. My DOV! 1168 01:12:04,222 --> 01:12:05,958 Please don't cry.. 1169 01:12:07,102 --> 01:12:09,480 I am gifting you my suicide jacket. 1170 01:12:09,758 --> 01:12:13,031 If you ever miss me.. Say my name and.. 1171 01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:16,479 Have a blast! 1172 01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:30,719 As soon as you enter, kill Paddi the same way that was told to the media. 1173 01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:32,960 One on the chest. One on the head! 1174 01:12:36,411 --> 01:12:37,438 All set, Sir! 1175 01:12:38,876 --> 01:12:42,053 Ready everybody.. And.. Action! 1176 01:13:02,619 --> 01:13:03,361 Cut it. 1177 01:13:03,419 --> 01:13:04,708 Paddi come on.. 1178 01:13:04,764 --> 01:13:05,722 One more.. 1179 01:13:05,979 --> 01:13:07,070 Take 8! 1180 01:13:07,482 --> 01:13:08,955 And Action! 1181 01:13:11,898 --> 01:13:12,804 I love Milk! 1182 01:13:12,857 --> 01:13:14,363 No No.. Cut it! 1183 01:13:14,745 --> 01:13:16,666 Paddi come on.. Emotions! 1184 01:13:16,729 --> 01:13:17,723 OK.. Ready. 1185 01:13:17,945 --> 01:13:19,102 Take 21! 1186 01:13:19,995 --> 01:13:20,737 Action! 1187 01:13:20,826 --> 01:13:21,763 Action! 1188 01:13:23,962 --> 01:13:25,250 I love Milk! 1189 01:13:25,403 --> 01:13:26,307 Cut it! 1190 01:13:26,457 --> 01:13:28,063 Hollywood.. Feel it! 1191 01:13:29,209 --> 01:13:30,050 Action! 1192 01:13:34,041 --> 01:13:35,262 Very good! 1193 01:13:36,985 --> 01:13:38,720 - I love Milk! - Cut it! 1194 01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:43,742 Take 69.. 1195 01:13:44,471 --> 01:13:45,596 Action! 1196 01:13:45,784 --> 01:13:47,770 Sharma. Get it right this time! 1197 01:13:59,992 --> 01:14:01,377 Osama. 1198 01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:05,920 Cut it! 1199 01:14:06,391 --> 01:14:06,937 What happened? 1200 01:14:07,095 --> 01:14:08,600 One more Paddi. 1201 01:14:08,792 --> 01:14:10,689 What one more! 1202 01:14:11,926 --> 01:14:16,444 What the. I love Milk! I love Milk! I love Milk! 1203 01:14:17,303 --> 01:14:20,217 Why don't you bloody die! 1204 01:14:20,278 --> 01:14:23,834 Why are you driving me crazy.. You sick bastard! 1205 01:14:23,989 --> 01:14:25,179 Who made you an actor? 1206 01:14:25,238 --> 01:14:28,629 I wanna put this gun in your mouth and blast your brains out! 1207 01:14:28,694 --> 01:14:31,455 Pack up.. Pack up.. 1208 01:14:31,893 --> 01:14:32,733 Buzz off! 1209 01:14:33,397 --> 01:14:35,777 How dare you! Why did you shout at my star? 1210 01:14:35,831 --> 01:14:37,249 Screw Hollywood! 1211 01:14:37,302 --> 01:14:39,168 And who do you think you're scaring with a toy gun? 1212 01:14:39,220 --> 01:14:40,158 Should I shoot you?! 1213 01:14:40,213 --> 01:14:43,094 Sharma. Please return my gun.. 1214 01:14:43,157 --> 01:14:44,510 I got emotional. 1215 01:14:44,948 --> 01:14:46,422 But he is not dying! 1216 01:14:47,125 --> 01:14:48,565 We can't shoot now.. 1217 01:14:48,630 --> 01:14:49,884 But why? 1218 01:14:50,709 --> 01:14:51,735 Mr. David. 1219 01:14:52,084 --> 01:14:54,363 Sugandha's aggression has already made him wet his pants. 1220 01:14:54,420 --> 01:14:58,207 And you shoved death in his mouth! Let him catch his breath! 1221 01:14:59,861 --> 01:15:01,302 We need to relieve his tension! 1222 01:15:01,333 --> 01:15:02,489 Don't worry Sharma. 1223 01:15:02,548 --> 01:15:04,218 I will ease him out! 1224 01:15:05,490 --> 01:15:09,277 Mr. David that's what I call involvement. 1225 01:15:09,683 --> 01:15:10,425 Mr. David. 1226 01:15:10,675 --> 01:15:11,668 In the meantime. 1227 01:15:12,339 --> 01:15:14,718 Let's call for a break! 1228 01:15:15,156 --> 01:15:16,541 I will have a hot dog! 1229 01:15:19,891 --> 01:15:20,763 What? 1230 01:15:22,579 --> 01:15:23,767 So Paddi. 1231 01:15:23,794 --> 01:15:25,660 How do you wanna do this? 1232 01:15:26,065 --> 01:15:27,320 Sugandha Baby. 1233 01:15:27,442 --> 01:15:28,402 Bushes! 1234 01:15:28,626 --> 01:15:29,499 In the village. 1235 01:15:29,553 --> 01:15:32,053 That's where boys pop their cherry! 1236 01:15:32,274 --> 01:15:33,780 So earthy. 1237 01:15:33,972 --> 01:15:35,389 Interesting. Come on.. 1238 01:15:36,209 --> 01:15:37,114 Come! 1239 01:15:38,545 --> 01:15:39,898 Bro.. This is Hollywood! 1240 01:15:39,985 --> 01:15:41,372 I don't need 5 pounds of acting. 1241 01:15:41,394 --> 01:15:43,313 5 ounces will do.. Keep it subtle. 1242 01:15:43,634 --> 01:15:44,626 5 ounces? 1243 01:15:44,753 --> 01:15:46,620 I'm an actor. Not a piece of meat! 1244 01:15:47,153 --> 01:15:48,986 And keep your attitude in check. 1245 01:15:49,425 --> 01:15:52,852 After all Rahul Singh is the star of your film! 1246 01:15:52,945 --> 01:15:53,556 Of course! 1247 01:15:53,808 --> 01:15:54,769 Give me a high five.. 1248 01:15:54,802 --> 01:15:56,275 RahuL. Sharma. 1249 01:15:56,337 --> 01:15:57,974 What? 1250 01:15:58,577 --> 01:16:00,083 There is no craft service! 1251 01:16:00,176 --> 01:16:00,853 So? 1252 01:16:00,913 --> 01:16:02,201 But Sharma. 1253 01:16:02,481 --> 01:16:05,786 Be it Hollywood or Bollywood.. Break implies Craft Service! 1254 01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:08,369 Something is not right. 1255 01:16:08,623 --> 01:16:09,561 Give it a thought. 1256 01:16:09,615 --> 01:16:11,382 There is no script nor a crew.. 1257 01:16:11,504 --> 01:16:14,418 Only that Ape David Chadha, and his Marines! 1258 01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:15,920 What do you make of all this? 1259 01:16:34,094 --> 01:16:34,738 Oh yes.. It is! 1260 01:17:06,285 --> 01:17:07,277 Paddi. 1261 01:17:07,373 --> 01:17:08,845 Now don't be shy! 1262 01:17:08,941 --> 01:17:11,952 It's just my first time so.. 1263 01:17:12,429 --> 01:17:13,585 Let's make it mechanical. 1264 01:17:13,772 --> 01:17:15,727 You close your eyes.. 1265 01:17:15,916 --> 01:17:19,244 Walk towards me.. And just kiss me! 1266 01:17:19,852 --> 01:17:21,270 That sounds good! 1267 01:17:21,548 --> 01:17:24,047 So here I come Sugandha Baby. 1268 01:17:24,106 --> 01:17:25,493 Yes. Paddi come.. 1269 01:17:25,547 --> 01:17:26,933 Come to me! 1270 01:17:27,178 --> 01:17:28,882 I'm coming Sugandha Baby! 1271 01:17:30,412 --> 01:17:33,488 I am coming.. Sugandha Baby! 1272 01:17:33,739 --> 01:17:35,091 Come Paddi come! 1273 01:17:35,498 --> 01:17:36,687 Say my name! 1274 01:17:56,810 --> 01:17:58,131 Sugandha Baby. 1275 01:17:58,474 --> 01:17:59,760 You are freezing! 1276 01:18:02,313 --> 01:18:03,666 The cold has made you so stiff! 1277 01:18:07,241 --> 01:18:08,496 Sugandha baby.. 1278 01:18:08,585 --> 01:18:10,123 I finally feel like a Man! 1279 01:18:10,185 --> 01:18:11,244 Paddi. 1280 01:18:12,009 --> 01:18:13,198 That's a man! 1281 01:18:26,473 --> 01:18:28,588 Sir! Sir! 1282 01:18:38,376 --> 01:18:40,329 Can you stop crying like a girl?! 1283 01:18:40,391 --> 01:18:41,384 Let me think. 1284 01:18:41,415 --> 01:18:44,557 I said it in the chopper.. Let's go back to India! 1285 01:18:44,614 --> 01:18:46,153 But all of you laughed at me! 1286 01:18:46,214 --> 01:18:48,877 I am amazed, we weren't suspicious at all! 1287 01:18:48,935 --> 01:18:50,986 How were we fooled so easily? 1288 01:18:51,239 --> 01:18:52,776 We were not fooled.. But tricked. 1289 01:18:52,839 --> 01:18:53,831 By this Sharma! 1290 01:18:54,246 --> 01:18:56,200 He lured us into this Hollywood trap! 1291 01:18:56,262 --> 01:18:57,418 Why are you blaming me? 1292 01:18:57,478 --> 01:18:59,049 I have been tricked by Paddi! 1293 01:18:59,110 --> 01:19:00,069 What? 1294 01:19:00,966 --> 01:19:01,991 I tricked you? 1295 01:19:02,054 --> 01:19:03,276 Who else! 1296 01:19:03,398 --> 01:19:05,962 I was innocently making coffee in the kitchen, 1297 01:19:06,085 --> 01:19:08,235 he selfishly tricked me into Hollywood.. 1298 01:19:08,549 --> 01:19:09,740 I wasn't even interested! 1299 01:19:09,829 --> 01:19:11,118 What the hell are you saying. 1300 01:19:11,877 --> 01:19:12,838 Uh.. Sir! 1301 01:19:12,933 --> 01:19:14,538 Who made me Osama? 1302 01:19:14,597 --> 01:19:15,785 Who sold my farms? 1303 01:19:15,877 --> 01:19:17,830 Who made me a method actor? 1304 01:19:18,212 --> 01:19:20,612 Who cooked up the myth of 'Paddi, The Star'? 1305 01:19:20,677 --> 01:19:25,479 It's my fault that I tried to make a star out of a country bumpkin! 1306 01:19:25,925 --> 01:19:27,114 Really! 1307 01:19:27,235 --> 01:19:29,865 As if you are the heir to the British Throne! 1308 01:19:29,891 --> 01:19:31,692 'Sweet - Maker Sharma!' 1309 01:19:31,812 --> 01:19:33,198 Have you forgotten. 1310 01:19:33,443 --> 01:19:36,326 The sweat drenching experience of sweet making! 1311 01:19:36,420 --> 01:19:41,700 Sharma senior still sells Churros. Crooning Ten Bucks for Two! 1312 01:19:43,364 --> 01:19:45,677 Ten bucks for two! 1313 01:19:48,035 --> 01:19:48,875 What? 1314 01:19:48,932 --> 01:19:50,797 Now Churro makers are becoming film makers! 1315 01:19:50,819 --> 01:19:52,773 Hare Krishna! 1316 01:20:08,993 --> 01:20:10,020 Hello friends! 1317 01:20:12,289 --> 01:20:16,228 We have to shoot immediately. 1318 01:20:17,921 --> 01:20:19,526 Where is Sharma? 1319 01:20:31,488 --> 01:20:32,394 Sir?! 1320 01:20:35,168 --> 01:20:37,350 Sir? You are frying Churros? 1321 01:20:38,783 --> 01:20:42,025 Guys! Give me some alone time with my buddy. 1322 01:20:43,968 --> 01:20:44,841 Paddi. 1323 01:20:45,952 --> 01:20:48,297 These are not just Churros. 1324 01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:50,310 This is my inborn talent! 1325 01:20:50,527 --> 01:20:52,710 A talent I never appreciated! 1326 01:20:53,087 --> 01:20:55,520 But today, after you blurted it out. 1327 01:20:55,615 --> 01:20:57,896 I have finally made peace with my reality! 1328 01:20:58,079 --> 01:20:59,399 Now you watch! 1329 01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:03,046 Before I die, I'll make such amazing Churros. 1330 01:21:03,199 --> 01:21:04,999 That people will forget my film! 1331 01:21:06,590 --> 01:21:07,495 Sir.. 1332 01:21:08,383 --> 01:21:10,434 Please forgive me.. 1333 01:21:10,910 --> 01:21:13,409 I have made a grave mistake! 1334 01:21:14,365 --> 01:21:19,114 I have screwed up my mentor! And driven him crazy! 1335 01:21:20,191 --> 01:21:21,216 Paddi! 1336 01:21:21,406 --> 01:21:23,042 Don't feel bad.. 1337 01:21:23,102 --> 01:21:25,960 Here.. I will not let you die hungry! 1338 01:21:26,013 --> 01:21:28,261 Sir.. I have lost my appetite! 1339 01:21:31,037 --> 01:21:32,958 Sir, it's delicious. What's the ingredient? 1340 01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:34,658 Paddi, emotion. 1341 01:21:35,676 --> 01:21:38,438 Sir, they are ready to shoot now.. 1342 01:21:39,101 --> 01:21:40,126 The moment you say Action. 1343 01:21:40,188 --> 01:21:42,208 First these scumbags will terminate me.. 1344 01:21:42,301 --> 01:21:43,328 And then you! 1345 01:21:43,613 --> 01:21:46,788 I don't wanna get massacred by them.. 1346 01:21:46,907 --> 01:21:49,091 I'd rather have you kill me! 1347 01:21:49,372 --> 01:21:53,856 Right Sir! You shoot me! I beg of you.. Shoot me! 1348 01:21:55,131 --> 01:21:56,092 Paddi! 1349 01:21:56,412 --> 01:21:57,666 That's a brilliant idea! 1350 01:21:57,723 --> 01:21:59,426 You've saved all of us! 1351 01:21:59,643 --> 01:22:00,768 Wow Sharma! 1352 01:22:01,244 --> 01:22:03,143 These are amazing! 1353 01:22:03,292 --> 01:22:04,512 By the way.. 1354 01:22:05,243 --> 01:22:06,880 What were you saying that the Marines don't work? 1355 01:22:06,939 --> 01:22:10,812 Mr. David, these American actors are very realistic. 1356 01:22:10,874 --> 01:22:12,348 And Bollywood actors are melodramatic! 1357 01:22:12,377 --> 01:22:14,080 It's a terrible combination. 1358 01:22:14,138 --> 01:22:16,485 It's like eating Chicken Burger with Chicken Curry! 1359 01:22:16,507 --> 01:22:18,689 That's why the shoot is suffering.. 1360 01:22:18,811 --> 01:22:21,757 Look at them. Such realistic emotions.. Very innocent! 1361 01:22:21,817 --> 01:22:22,658 Very real! 1362 01:22:22,713 --> 01:22:24,547 And look at them. Fake! 1363 01:22:25,562 --> 01:22:26,653 But what's the point? 1364 01:22:26,969 --> 01:22:28,225 Trust me.. 1365 01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:30,403 Let us Indians play the Marines. 1366 01:22:30,586 --> 01:22:32,834 It will balance it out! 1367 01:22:33,944 --> 01:22:34,817 Meaning? 1368 01:22:34,873 --> 01:22:36,707 Chirag, Rahul and l.. 1369 01:22:36,890 --> 01:22:39,072 Will dress up like Marines and enter Osama's room.. 1370 01:22:39,130 --> 01:22:40,189 They will shoot! 1371 01:22:40,442 --> 01:22:43,355 While I candidly capture Osama's death. 1372 01:22:43,416 --> 01:22:44,541 Guerilla style! 1373 01:22:44,761 --> 01:22:46,528 Sharma! These Marines are Americans! 1374 01:22:46,745 --> 01:22:49,471 Not to sound racist but. Your colours won't match. 1375 01:22:49,592 --> 01:22:51,971 Oh c'mon Mr. David! The Marines are wearing helmets. 1376 01:22:52,024 --> 01:22:53,496 You can barely see their faces... 1377 01:22:53,561 --> 01:22:58,656 As it is, if you decide to swap Sgt. Bob with Sgt. Jack. 1378 01:22:58,808 --> 01:23:02,135 There's no way we'd know, right? 1379 01:23:02,231 --> 01:23:04,097 No.. No.. Of course not! 1380 01:23:04,952 --> 01:23:07,898 Should I take this shot? One take and Osama dead! 1381 01:23:08,406 --> 01:23:09,530 Alright! " No!" 1382 01:23:09,752 --> 01:23:11,738 No.. Oh no.. I can't allow! 1383 01:23:11,798 --> 01:23:12,792 One take. One take. 1384 01:23:13,079 --> 01:23:14,618 He'll be done in one take. 1385 01:23:15,383 --> 01:23:17,979 Mr. David! Gulp it down and let's just do it! 1386 01:23:18,421 --> 01:23:19,863 OK! Take your shot! 1387 01:23:21,046 --> 01:23:22,814 Junior. I need the uniforms.. 1388 01:23:22,902 --> 01:23:24,506 Strip the Marines! 1389 01:23:29,015 --> 01:23:32,767 Junior! Once we get the shot. Dispose them all! 1390 01:23:33,461 --> 01:23:34,618 That was the plan! 1391 01:23:36,341 --> 01:23:37,946 And.. Action! 1392 01:23:40,278 --> 01:23:42,809 Listen my Starsky and Hutch! Spray the bullets on the wall.. 1393 01:23:42,869 --> 01:23:46,971 Don't make their plan a success by shooting Paddi! 1394 01:23:47,668 --> 01:23:48,727 Chill! 1395 01:23:52,949 --> 01:23:55,710 Relax Paddi! All will be good! 1396 01:23:55,765 --> 01:23:57,151 Sugandha baby.. 1397 01:23:57,237 --> 01:23:59,385 I'm really scared of Rahul and Chirag. 1398 01:23:59,475 --> 01:24:03,197 Their overacting will definitely kill me! 1399 01:24:03,923 --> 01:24:05,080 Sugandha baby? 1400 01:24:05,203 --> 01:24:07,419 I love your rustic charm! 1401 01:24:15,411 --> 01:24:16,284 Paddi. Die! 1402 01:24:17,011 --> 01:24:19,411 Sucker is dead! 1403 01:24:19,571 --> 01:24:21,273 Stop overacting Sugandha. 1404 01:24:27,347 --> 01:24:29,943 He is Dead. He is Dead. Osama is finally dead! 1405 01:24:36,722 --> 01:24:37,594 Sir! 1406 01:24:39,345 --> 01:24:40,056 Sir! 1407 01:24:40,306 --> 01:24:41,724 There's no blood on Osama! 1408 01:24:43,217 --> 01:24:44,603 See.. No blood! 1409 01:24:44,753 --> 01:24:45,691 Never mind! 1410 01:24:45,746 --> 01:24:48,124 We will just take a separate shot of the dead body.. 1411 01:24:48,370 --> 01:24:49,625 Come on.. Call the chopper back. 1412 01:24:50,034 --> 01:24:51,354 Give me some Churros! 1413 01:24:51,890 --> 01:24:55,796 Base to Mute. Return with feedback! I repeat.. Return with feedback. 1414 01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:58,235 Hey Junior! I'll have a hot dog. 1415 01:24:58,769 --> 01:24:59,795 What? 1416 01:24:59,953 --> 01:25:01,784 Put David on the line please. 1417 01:25:01,936 --> 01:25:04,697 Sir! Sharma! 1418 01:25:05,231 --> 01:25:06,672 - Sharma? - Yes! 1419 01:25:07,825 --> 01:25:08,468 Yes Sharma? 1420 01:25:08,528 --> 01:25:12,600 Mr. David focus! Your Osama flew over the CUCKOO'S nest! 1421 01:25:13,167 --> 01:25:15,317 Screw you hairball! 1422 01:25:15,439 --> 01:25:18,833 We are off to India. While you suck on those Churros! 1423 01:25:20,879 --> 01:25:24,121 You son of a bitch! Screw you on a bed of nails! 1424 01:25:24,623 --> 01:25:25,975 What happened? Speak up you Asswipe! 1425 01:25:26,030 --> 01:25:27,764 Paddi. It got disconnected! 1426 01:25:27,822 --> 01:25:30,356 Call him back. I wanna abuse Junior now! 1427 01:25:30,735 --> 01:25:32,437 Junior! Get the chopper out. Fast! 1428 01:25:56,173 --> 01:25:59,032 Khaleeli Sir.. Helicopter! 1429 01:26:17,388 --> 01:26:18,480 Paddi. ls your face alright? 1430 01:26:18,540 --> 01:26:20,078 Sir.. My hand! 1431 01:26:20,141 --> 01:26:23,498 I don't care even if you lose your hand. Just take care of your face! 1432 01:26:28,108 --> 01:26:29,646 Paddi. Hands up! 1433 01:26:34,060 --> 01:26:35,826 Sheikh Osama! 1434 01:26:40,362 --> 01:26:41,518 What's going on? 1435 01:26:43,467 --> 01:26:44,688 Welcome my clown! 1436 01:26:45,163 --> 01:26:47,312 Listen to me, you clown! 1437 01:26:47,370 --> 01:26:49,325 Everyone here thinks you are the real Osama. 1438 01:26:49,515 --> 01:26:51,828 And if they find out you are an imposter. 1439 01:26:52,043 --> 01:26:54,638 They will cut you into pieces! 1440 01:26:55,018 --> 01:26:57,581 So come to daddy.. 1441 01:26:57,929 --> 01:26:59,849 Come to daddy! 1442 01:27:01,642 --> 01:27:02,963 Paddi, don't go! 1443 01:27:12,296 --> 01:27:13,170 Paddi! 1444 01:27:13,449 --> 01:27:14,355 Paddi! 1445 01:27:14,408 --> 01:27:15,183 Paddi! 1446 01:27:15,241 --> 01:27:16,561 What are you doing? 1447 01:27:40,711 --> 01:27:43,024 No.. No.. He is an imposter. 1448 01:27:43,655 --> 01:27:50,735 Bulla, you swine! Tell them that he is an imposter! 1449 01:27:57,862 --> 01:27:58,921 My Star! 1450 01:27:59,430 --> 01:28:01,000 So absorbed in his character! 1451 01:28:17,381 --> 01:28:19,978 Listen to me you imbeciles! 1452 01:28:20,036 --> 01:28:22,896 It is a sin to kill a fellow Mujahideen. 1453 01:28:39,140 --> 01:28:40,558 Paddi! Duck! 1454 01:28:49,827 --> 01:28:51,213 Paddi! 1455 01:28:54,499 --> 01:28:55,557 Paddi! Duck! 1456 01:29:32,288 --> 01:29:34,024 Hey Paddi! 1457 01:29:35,712 --> 01:29:37,032 Come here! 1458 01:29:38,592 --> 01:29:40,197 Come to me! 1459 01:29:43,073 --> 01:29:44,938 Osama. is MINE! 1460 01:30:19,518 --> 01:30:20,806 Stop! 1461 01:30:21,023 --> 01:30:23,239 Don't move! Or I will blow my brains out! 1462 01:30:23,295 --> 01:30:25,859 No.. Not the face! 1463 01:30:25,918 --> 01:30:27,457 I need Osama alive! 1464 01:30:27,518 --> 01:30:29,022 Take it up and shoot! 1465 01:30:29,725 --> 01:30:30,783 Pull the trigger! 1466 01:30:30,813 --> 01:30:31,937 - No.. Ignore him! - Pull! 1467 01:30:32,030 --> 01:30:32,705 NO! 1468 01:30:32,732 --> 01:30:33,726 - Pull! - NO! 1469 01:30:33,789 --> 01:30:34,629 - Pull! - NO! 1470 01:30:34,686 --> 01:30:35,808 Shut up you asswipe! 1471 01:30:36,093 --> 01:30:37,663 I will be Osama no more! 1472 01:30:37,725 --> 01:30:39,263 Paddi. Stop! 1473 01:30:39,357 --> 01:30:41,506 Look here! I'm clearing your accounts! 1474 01:30:42,300 --> 01:30:43,205 For real? 1475 01:30:43,260 --> 01:30:44,132 Yes. Here! 1476 01:30:44,188 --> 01:30:47,231 I am coming.. Wait! 1477 01:30:47,707 --> 01:30:50,567 Here is the first installment. Give me the gun! 1478 01:30:51,932 --> 01:30:53,732 I will smack you! Why did you shoot? 1479 01:30:53,819 --> 01:30:55,009 I didn't shoot! 1480 01:30:58,683 --> 01:31:00,484 - Hare Krishna! - Mr. President! 1481 01:31:26,650 --> 01:31:27,490 Yes Sir! 1482 01:31:36,891 --> 01:31:37,850 He missed me! 1483 01:31:40,377 --> 01:31:41,403 Bit embarrassing, Sir! 1484 01:31:41,530 --> 01:31:43,908 Shit happens! Here, try once more! 1485 01:31:43,961 --> 01:31:46,558 Paddi stop. Let me handle this! 1486 01:31:46,776 --> 01:31:48,315 Mr. David! Khaleeli Sir! 1487 01:31:52,922 --> 01:31:54,788 All of us want Paddi! 1488 01:31:55,193 --> 01:31:56,633 But that is not possible! 1489 01:31:56,695 --> 01:31:57,754 Says who? 1490 01:31:57,816 --> 01:31:59,257 I mean, let's compromise! 1491 01:32:00,824 --> 01:32:02,394 Khaleeli Sir.. What do you want? 1492 01:32:02,521 --> 01:32:04,954 We need.. Donation! 1493 01:32:05,401 --> 01:32:06,392 How much donation? 1494 01:32:06,584 --> 01:32:07,773 Five.. Hundred.. 1495 01:32:07,831 --> 01:32:08,605 Thousand. 1496 01:32:08,663 --> 01:32:09,786 Five Hundred Thousand Dollars! 1497 01:32:10,039 --> 01:32:10,748 Done? Sure? 1498 01:32:10,999 --> 01:32:11,959 Sure! 1499 01:32:12,024 --> 01:32:13,891 Mr. David. Write a cheque.. 1500 01:32:14,040 --> 01:32:15,545 That's the only way to get rid of him! 1501 01:32:20,375 --> 01:32:23,484 If you ever need a suicide bomber.. 1502 01:32:23,542 --> 01:32:24,447 Do remember me! 1503 01:32:24,503 --> 01:32:25,561 This is my card! 1504 01:32:25,621 --> 01:32:28,503 Khaleeli Baser Wasiqi! We don't have any branches! 1505 01:32:31,543 --> 01:32:34,237 Mr. David. Why do you want to kill Paddi? 1506 01:32:34,455 --> 01:32:35,710 What's your deal? 1507 01:32:44,885 --> 01:32:46,206 I have an idea! 1508 01:32:47,477 --> 01:32:49,911 I'll get you a proof.. 1509 01:32:50,359 --> 01:32:51,744 I'll get you a proof.. 1510 01:32:51,990 --> 01:32:54,204 That'll make your President an overnight sensation! 1511 01:33:07,251 --> 01:33:08,123 Yes we can! 1512 01:33:08,179 --> 01:33:08,922 Yes we can! 1513 01:33:08,980 --> 01:33:10,104 And. Cut it! 1514 01:33:10,548 --> 01:33:12,381 Here you go David. Your proof is ready. 1515 01:33:12,436 --> 01:33:13,112 Very good! 1516 01:33:19,796 --> 01:33:21,693 One simple demand Mr. President. 1517 01:33:22,547 --> 01:33:23,900 One Hollywood film! 1518 01:33:27,283 --> 01:33:28,821 Breaking News! 1519 01:33:29,012 --> 01:33:33,660 White house has finally released the tape of the Osama killing! 1520 01:33:33,907 --> 01:33:36,766 America wanted their proof, and America got their proof.. 1521 01:33:36,819 --> 01:33:39,676 I took out Osama Bin Laden myself, with my own hands. 1522 01:33:39,826 --> 01:33:42,838 I'm a brave leader and that's why I'm your President! 1523 01:33:43,345 --> 01:33:45,212 That's why you gave me a second term. 1524 01:33:45,234 --> 01:33:46,936 And that's why this is a sequel! 1525 01:33:47,025 --> 01:33:50,169 Now, a renowned Hollywood producer has announced. 1526 01:33:50,354 --> 01:33:52,339 That he will make a film based on this story! 1527 01:33:52,689 --> 01:33:55,035 The name of the film is Tora Bora Nights! 1528 01:34:06,416 --> 01:34:08,151 Sir.. Shall we? 1529 01:34:25,392 --> 01:34:27,476 Can you tell us more about the actor in your movie? 1530 01:34:28,495 --> 01:34:30,547 He is not an actor. He is a STAR! 1531 01:34:31,471 --> 01:34:34,132 You can only see my eyes in the film.. 1532 01:34:34,191 --> 01:34:35,479 But I'm a trained actor. 1533 01:34:40,911 --> 01:34:44,698 For every second... One expression, you know! 1534 01:34:45,456 --> 01:34:47,702 I am playing an extra in this film! 1535 01:34:48,398 --> 01:34:49,652 It's a 10 second role! 1536 01:34:49,902 --> 01:34:51,321 A blink and a miss! 1537 01:34:52,366 --> 01:34:54,745 It's a sequel for me to be Osama's voice! 1538 01:34:55,277 --> 01:34:59,118 And the world knows that only Rahul Singh can do it! 1539 01:34:59,534 --> 01:35:03,635 Tora Bora Nights! It's a family entertainer! 1540 01:35:04,109 --> 01:35:06,226 Is there any song and dance? 1541 01:35:06,893 --> 01:35:08,017 Song and Dance? 1542 01:35:08,429 --> 01:35:12,979 No.. It's a Hollywood film.. No vulgarity! 1543 01:35:13,389 --> 01:35:14,327 I can't allow! 1544 01:38:15,138 --> 01:38:16,578 Khaleeli Sir! 1545 01:38:16,770 --> 01:38:18,603 Daaga. I got it! 1546 01:38:19,585 --> 01:38:21,288 I got the money, Daaga! 1547 01:38:21,314 --> 01:38:22,503 Now we will attain Heaven! 1548 01:38:24,225 --> 01:38:25,416 Uh.. Oh! 1549 01:38:27,489 --> 01:38:28,907 I am just gonna conclude this. 1550 01:38:29,121 --> 01:38:32,929 By quoting, verse 4, chapter 5 of Dangerous. 1551 01:38:33,472 --> 01:38:37,641 By Saint Michael Jackson! 1552 01:38:38,626 --> 01:38:42,313 That it don't matter if you are black or white.. 1553 01:38:42,817 --> 01:38:44,770 Or for that matter, even brown.. 1554 01:38:44,800 --> 01:38:45,892 OK.. Let's go! 102150

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