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"Last Man Standing" is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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Okay, so, we just learned
the coolest new move
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00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,616
in hand-to-hand
combat training.
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00:00:10,634 --> 00:00:12,936
Come on, dad. Take a swing at me.
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Mm. Ask your mom.
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Mike, I am not gonna hit our daughter.
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You're darn right, you're not.
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You'd end up face-down on the
ground with a knee in your back.
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[Chuckles]
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Way to ruin the surprise, dad.
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Hey. Thanks for driving me to class, Kyle.
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Now, I'll need you to drive me again
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to my 8:00 A.M. class in the morning.
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- Yeah, no problem.
- Ooh, and as a treat, if you wait around,
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00:00:35,941 --> 00:00:38,059
after class, you get to drive me home.
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Great. I'll just hang out in the quad.
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Kill some time playing some hacky sack.
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Kyle. Do you have your own sack?
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Sure.
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Surprised to hear that.
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Okay. Bye.
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I'll see ya.
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00:00:59,381 --> 00:01:01,699
How's, uh... how's college going, honey?
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00:01:01,737 --> 00:01:03,438
- It's okay.
- Just okay?
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00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:04,889
I don't know. It's not
as much fun as I'd hoped.
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Like, everybody's so focused
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00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:08,476
on reading and studying and learning.
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Yeah, that's a slippery slope.
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Next thing you know, you'll be graduating
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and getting a job and working for a living.
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I just don't feel all involved
like I did in high school.
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You know, after class, everybody hangs out
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00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,507
in the dorms or the student
center, and I just come home.
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00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,025
Well, do you think you'd make more friends
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00:01:24,059 --> 00:01:25,777
if you weren't spending
all your time with Kyle?
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He's the only person I know at school.
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But he doesn't go there.
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00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,050
Yeah, but he's got more friends than I do.
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00:01:32,084 --> 00:01:34,118
Like, that whole hacky-sack crowd...
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00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:35,953
I'm not even really sure
any of them go there, either.
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00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,456
They're all like 40.
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I feel so bad for her.
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00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,176
It's rough starting over
in a new environment.
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Yes, life is so unfair
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to pretty, young
18-year-old girls.
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It's okay if she feels bad as
long as she keeps her grades up.
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00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,520
Yeah, well, college is
not just about grades.
49
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,406
It's about new experiences
and meeting new people,
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00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:57,575
staying up all night drinking coffee
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00:01:57,609 --> 00:02:00,912
and arguing about
divesting from South Africa.
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I've been there, right?
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I've been in the dorm
room next to those people.
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00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:06,817
We were up all night arguing about...
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[Slurring] ... who's gonna get more beer.
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00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:11,506
Anyway, I just worry
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00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,841
that if she doesn't have a social life,
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she's gonna lose all interest in college.
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00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,895
Well, she had such a good
social life in high school,
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00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,765
they almost asked her
back for her fifth year.
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00:02:20,799 --> 00:02:23,434
Stop it! I'm not gonna fall for
that "free punch" thing again!
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00:02:23,469 --> 00:02:26,337
- I understand you're angry.
- Mm.
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00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,056
I bet it'd feel real good
to hit me with this lamp.
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00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,607
- Eve.
- What?
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00:02:29,641 --> 00:02:31,275
Oh, no, look.
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00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,860
I'm distracted while talking to my mother.
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Anyone could come up behind me and just...
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[Sighs] Just forget it.
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00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,571
It's like I'm living with the Ghandis.
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00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,408
Mandy, honey, um, there's
something I'm worried about.
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00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,877
Yeah, mom, don't worry. I've
been taking it every day.
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00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:53,214
Sorry. What... what have
you been taking every day?
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Vitamins.
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But... but this isn't
about the vitamins, but...
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good girl.
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00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,041
Honey, come here a minute. Come here.
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00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,043
When I went to Ohio State,
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00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,546
I... I was worried that
I wasn't fitting in,
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so you know what I did
to boost my social life?
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She spent a lot of time
in the commons going,
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00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:16,571
"I can't get knocked up.
I just took my vitamins."
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00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:21,826
I joined a sorority. Kappa Kappa Nu.
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00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:23,828
Wait. I thought dad said I
shouldn't join a sorority.
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00:03:23,862 --> 00:03:26,664
That's because sororities
rob you of your individualism,
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00:03:26,698 --> 00:03:28,282
turning people into drones...
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00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,119
and not the cool kind that shoot missiles.
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00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,921
Your dad is not a fan of the Greek system.
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00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:36,090
Because the greeks have no system.
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00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:37,759
They've step-by-step
dismantled
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00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,794
the whole economic system in Europe!
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00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,912
You know, I think it's about time
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00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,581
the germane powered up those panzers.
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00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,416
And this time, we might fight with them!
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00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,688
I don't agree with your father.
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00:03:50,722 --> 00:03:51,939
A German-led World War III
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00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:57,128
is definitely not preferable
to you joining a sorority.
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00:03:57,162 --> 00:04:01,711
- synced and corrected by
chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
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00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:06,037
- Hey, Ed.
- Huh?
99
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,706
You got your deposition
ready for the Jetski lawsuit?
100
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:11,692
Don't tell me someone got
hurt on one of our jet skis.
101
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,694
Ed, the Polish guy... Jetski.
102
00:04:13,729 --> 00:04:16,297
- Got trapped in one of our tents.
- Oh.
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00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,333
Depositions and paperwork.
104
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,836
It's... it's all so boring!
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00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,971
And I'm working on that
loading-dock problem.
106
00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:25,506
There is no problem on
the loading dock, Ed.
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00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,657
We just need to hire more guys.
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00:04:26,692 --> 00:04:28,626
Aha! That's just what they want.
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00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,128
Aha! Because it's a good idea.
110
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,014
I've been thinking about this.
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00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,982
I saw this TV show Friday night
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where an executive puts on a disguise
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00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,520
- and gets a job with his own company...
- Yeah.
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00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,688
To find out what his employees are up to.
115
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,573
It's called "Incognito Boss."
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00:04:42,608 --> 00:04:44,225
Stupidest show ever.
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Of all the good things
to watch on Friday night,
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00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:48,830
why would anybody watch that?
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00:04:48,864 --> 00:04:51,833
I get into a disguise, I
blend in on the loading dock
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00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:54,151
to find out who's slacking off.
121
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,803
I don't think you'll
find them slacking off.
122
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:59,257
They'll be trying to help
this old dude lift heavy boxes.
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00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,092
He's not old.
124
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:04,045
Troy Fontaine is only 53.
125
00:05:04,079 --> 00:05:05,913
And who's Troy Fontaine?
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00:05:05,948 --> 00:05:07,582
My alter ego.
127
00:05:07,616 --> 00:05:09,517
Look, if I'm gonna fool anybody,
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00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,552
I have to develop a whole persona.
129
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:14,222
They say that Travolta
starts his characters
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00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,523
by finding their walk.
131
00:05:15,557 --> 00:05:17,341
I've been working on this,
now. How's this? Look.
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00:05:20,479 --> 00:05:21,946
Keep doing it. I like it.
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00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,948
Yeah, just a little tiny bit faster.
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00:05:23,982 --> 00:05:25,950
I like it. There you go. That's great, Ed.
135
00:05:25,984 --> 00:05:28,286
I've been thinking about...
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00:05:30,739 --> 00:05:33,040
Oh, my God! Hey! Twinsies!
137
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,709
I am so glad my mom convinced me
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00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,711
to join her old sorority.
139
00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:38,195
Yeah, but isn't it gonna be awkward
140
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,164
hanging out with a bunch
of women your mom's age?
141
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,969
Wow, she's holding up great!
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00:05:45,003 --> 00:05:46,804
- Sister!
- Mandy: Sister!
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00:05:46,838 --> 00:05:48,556
[Both squeal, giggle]
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00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,558
- Yay!
- [Chuckles] Mwah! Mwah!
145
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:51,875
Aww!
146
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,544
- You'll be at the rally today, right?
- Oh.
147
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:57,214
We're holding a surprise
fundraiser to help fight asthma.
148
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,201
Although, we did tell all
the people who have asthma,
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00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:03,053
because surprise can actually
bring on a pretty bad attack.
150
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,139
Can my boyfriend come?
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00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:06,574
Only if he has asthma.
152
00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:08,042
Sadly, he doesn't.
153
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,244
But I'll still see you there, little sis.
154
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:14,064
- [Chuckling] Okay. Bye!
- Hey. I'm Kyle, by the... okay.
155
00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:18,586
- Isn't Jenna great?
- Yeah. I love her.
156
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,922
- Yeah.
- But I'm bummed.
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00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:22,590
I was hoping that we could hang out
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00:06:22,624 --> 00:06:24,175
after your classes today.
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00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,177
Kyle, I'm a Kappa Nu newbie.
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00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:28,462
You know, I really got to
show up for these events.
161
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,132
Well, then maybe I can just
hang here in class with you.
162
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,634
Okay. I guess. Are you
sure you won't be bored?
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00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,919
Are you kidding me? I love astronomy.
164
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,022
Have you gotten to capricorns yet?
165
00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:39,523
Oh, Kyle, this is intro to astronomy.
166
00:06:39,558 --> 00:06:42,610
I'm pretty sure they get
to horoscopes next semester.
167
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,445
It's a good thing
capricorns are able to deal
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00:06:44,479 --> 00:06:46,397
with crushing disappointment.
169
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,321
But seriously, I'm a
natural on the loadin' dock.
170
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,822
Maybe it's because of the two years I spent
171
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,657
as a stevedore in Guam.
172
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,159
That and the fact that I was raised
173
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,161
by an abusive geometry instructor,
174
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,829
so I'm extremely good with shapes.
175
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:02,964
All right.
176
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:05,466
Okay, guys, lunch is over.
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00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:09,053
Hey, Troy. Nice job stacking those boxes.
178
00:07:09,087 --> 00:07:10,554
I'm glad you like it.
179
00:07:10,589 --> 00:07:12,223
But if my old man saw that job,
180
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,891
he'd throw me down a fire escape.
181
00:07:13,925 --> 00:07:15,459
[Laughs]
182
00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:20,231
- Hey, J.J.
- Hey.
183
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,299
- Is Ed down here?
- I haven't seen him.
184
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,801
Huh?
185
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,972
Ed?
186
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:32,643
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
187
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,978
Don't blow my cover.
188
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,647
Troy Fontaine has gotten to the bottom
189
00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:39,250
of the productivity problem down here.
190
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:43,921
Could it be that productivity
problem is Troy Fontaine?
191
00:07:43,955 --> 00:07:46,257
Troy Fontaine is not a slacker!
192
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,908
Sorry.
193
00:07:47,943 --> 00:07:51,045
Troy Fontaine also has a temper.
194
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,546
You were right, Mikey.
195
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,931
Nobody's slacking off down here.
196
00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:55,383
We just need more men on the dock.
197
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,634
- I got an idea.
- Yeah.
198
00:07:56,668 --> 00:07:57,968
Why don't we invite everyone
to bring their alter egos?
199
00:07:58,002 --> 00:07:59,503
We'll double the workforce.
200
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,338
Look, t... these guys
201
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,507
are the salt of the earth, huh?
202
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,776
- We all went out for beers last night.
- Yeah.
203
00:08:05,811 --> 00:08:07,978
They did not have nice
things to say about you.
204
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:14,285
I got the ball rolling by
telling them how much you make.
205
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,024
I got piles of stuff
upstairs for you to sign.
206
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,526
You got to get back upstairs.
207
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,862
I know. There's always
stuff for me to sign, Mike.
208
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,031
I miss being a regular guy
and doing an honest day's work.
209
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,868
This experience has put me
in touch with who I really am.
210
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,704
Yeah? A rubber nose and a Steven Seagal wig
211
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,873
will do that to a guy.
212
00:08:42,327 --> 00:08:43,578
Kristin: Boyd, hurry! We've got to go!
213
00:08:43,612 --> 00:08:45,580
So, Ed made up a whole fake
back story about himself
214
00:08:45,614 --> 00:08:47,748
- just to trick people into trusting him?
- Yep.
215
00:08:47,783 --> 00:08:50,751
Basically, he's Obama.
216
00:08:50,786 --> 00:08:53,838
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where is your other shoe?
217
00:08:53,872 --> 00:08:55,489
I don't know. Do I need it?
218
00:08:55,507 --> 00:08:57,542
Yes. We are a two-shoe family.
219
00:08:57,593 --> 00:08:59,043
- Go find it.
- I wish I were a monkey.
220
00:08:59,094 --> 00:09:00,828
I wouldn't have to wear shoes.
221
00:09:00,846 --> 00:09:02,663
I wish you were a monkey, too.
222
00:09:02,681 --> 00:09:04,549
Then I'd have someone to smoke cigars with.
223
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,183
[Chuckles]
224
00:09:06,218 --> 00:09:08,719
Ah, he better find that shoe.
225
00:09:08,754 --> 00:09:10,805
I cannot afford to get him another pair.
226
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:13,524
- Looks like Ryan might be going out on strike.
- What?!
227
00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,677
Need a guy to walk out on
the job, Ryan's your man.
228
00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:18,679
Honey, I... I thought
the beer-truck drivers
229
00:09:18,697 --> 00:09:20,114
were close to an agreement.
230
00:09:20,148 --> 00:09:22,199
Yeah. They all agreed to go on strike.
231
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:25,019
But, you know, Ryan's
optimistic management will cave.
232
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:28,739
Where are they ever gonna find
truck drivers who like beer?
233
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:30,875
- [Inhales sharply]
- Hey!
234
00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:32,710
Boyd! Whoo-hoo! We found your shoe!
235
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,128
"We"?
236
00:09:34,162 --> 00:09:37,214
Here you go. Catch that, huh?
237
00:09:38,817 --> 00:09:41,002
This is what happens when you sign a kid up
238
00:09:41,036 --> 00:09:43,037
for puppeteering and not little league.
239
00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:46,140
Come on. Okay? Oh, but the
ground's wet, so hop. Hop!
240
00:09:46,174 --> 00:09:48,476
Hop! Bye!
241
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:50,645
Ryan's going on strike.
242
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,880
[Sighs] Kristin cannot catch a break.
243
00:09:52,898 --> 00:09:55,049
And this kid can't catch a shoe.
244
00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:58,069
Am I the only one worried about that?
245
00:09:58,103 --> 00:10:00,571
And now she's gonna
have to work extra hours,
246
00:10:00,606 --> 00:10:02,907
college is gonna get pushed
further down the road.
247
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:04,391
I mean, we all love Ryan...
248
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:06,243
No.
249
00:10:06,278 --> 00:10:09,747
Kristin got too involved
with a high-school boyfriend,
250
00:10:09,781 --> 00:10:11,916
and it basically derailed her life.
251
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:15,419
And produced a kid who can't catch a shoe.
252
00:10:15,454 --> 00:10:17,455
This is a danger... Whoa! Whoa!
253
00:10:17,489 --> 00:10:19,090
What are you... what are you dressed as?
254
00:10:19,124 --> 00:10:20,841
I'm a farm girl.
256
00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:31,268
and all of the other girls
were dressed exactly like this.
257
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:32,687
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
258
00:10:32,721 --> 00:10:35,189
Well, this is exactly why I
told you I don't like sororities.
259
00:10:35,223 --> 00:10:37,358
- Why not?
- Because t... t... they turned her into a robot...
260
00:10:37,392 --> 00:10:39,593
And not the fun kind that box other robots.
261
00:10:39,611 --> 00:10:42,530
Oh, honey, stop. It's
just as a party theme.
262
00:10:42,564 --> 00:10:44,532
Yeah. It's group-think,
and I refuse to support
263
00:10:44,566 --> 00:10:47,702
any organization that makes its
members wear certain clothes.
264
00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:48,953
Looking sharp, Eve.
265
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,275
Oh, my God. What what is this?
266
00:10:55,293 --> 00:10:56,460
I went to a hoedown.
267
00:10:56,495 --> 00:10:57,628
[Sighs] Well...
268
00:10:57,663 --> 00:10:59,747
they're down a ho now that you left.
269
00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:04,118
Get out of here, you.
270
00:11:04,136 --> 00:11:06,620
Mandy, honey, did, uh...
did you have a good time?
271
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:08,639
Yeah. I just felt bad
'cause I couldn't bring Kyle.
272
00:11:08,674 --> 00:11:11,125
Yeah, you know, I know
when I was... was a Kappa,
273
00:11:11,143 --> 00:11:13,294
they frowned on pledges having boyfriends.
274
00:11:13,328 --> 00:11:14,612
Yeah. I mean, they don't exactly frown.
275
00:11:14,646 --> 00:11:15,796
It's more kind of like this face.
276
00:11:15,814 --> 00:11:17,131
It's like...
277
00:11:17,149 --> 00:11:18,632
- or... not like that.
- Mm. Yes.
278
00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:19,800
It was like...
279
00:11:19,818 --> 00:11:20,968
Okay.
280
00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:22,236
[Clears throat]
281
00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:24,905
- Or like... all right.
- All right, honey.
282
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:26,640
Yeah, but you understand
w... whatever the face, okay,
283
00:11:26,658 --> 00:11:29,810
they just want you completely
involved in the sorority.
284
00:11:29,828 --> 00:11:32,029
I know, but then there
won't be any time for Kyle.
285
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,865
Honey, c... come here. You know...
286
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:36,167
I love Kyle,
287
00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:38,836
but you... you can't let
your high-school boyfriend
288
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,320
hold you back.
289
00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:42,840
So what am I supposed
to do... stop seeing him?
290
00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:47,244
Honey, when I joined the Kappas,
291
00:11:47,279 --> 00:11:48,996
I had a high-school boyfriend... Paul.
292
00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:50,330
You remember?
293
00:11:50,348 --> 00:11:52,666
I think you met him that
time we visited Marysville.
294
00:11:52,701 --> 00:11:55,369
The guy with all the skin tags?
295
00:11:55,404 --> 00:11:59,023
Well, he was very attractive
in high school, and sweet.
296
00:11:59,057 --> 00:12:01,275
But I broke it off with Paul
297
00:12:01,309 --> 00:12:03,861
when I joined the Kappa Kappa Nus.
298
00:12:03,895 --> 00:12:07,198
Well... honey, you understand why?
299
00:12:07,232 --> 00:12:08,949
- Because of the skin tags.
- No.
300
00:12:08,984 --> 00:12:10,951
Honey, no. Uh, no.
301
00:12:10,986 --> 00:12:12,787
His... his skin was very different back...
302
00:12:12,821 --> 00:12:14,955
You know what? Never mind. Okay.
303
00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:17,625
Um, Paul and I broke up
304
00:12:17,659 --> 00:12:20,878
because I wanted the
whole college experience,
305
00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:23,047
including meeting new
and interesting men...
306
00:12:23,081 --> 00:12:24,548
college men.
307
00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:28,368
If I hadn't, I never would
have married your father.
308
00:12:28,386 --> 00:12:31,872
So I guess that's a vote for tag face.
309
00:12:36,228 --> 00:12:38,562
Hey, Kyle. Just the guy I was looking for.
310
00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:39,647
At your service.
311
00:12:39,681 --> 00:12:41,899
Listen. Some kid hurled
up on the rock wall.
312
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,068
You got to hop up there,
313
00:12:44,102 --> 00:12:47,738
clean off the "lava" before
it rains down on the villagers.
314
00:12:47,773 --> 00:12:49,323
Yes, sir.
315
00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:50,825
Are you just getting in now?
316
00:12:50,859 --> 00:12:53,577
Oh, yeah. I went to
Mandy's astronomy class.
317
00:12:53,612 --> 00:12:56,080
Did you know that if you
took a rocket to Neptune,
318
00:12:56,114 --> 00:12:59,233
you'd die of old age before you got there?
319
00:12:59,251 --> 00:13:01,619
Well, don't let that stop
you from trying, Kyle.
320
00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:05,956
Uh, Mandy doesn't need you to
drive her to school every day.
321
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:08,793
Yeah, but I want to be
there for her, Mr. B.
322
00:13:08,844 --> 00:13:10,577
College has been a big adjustment,
323
00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:12,346
and she seems really tense lately.
324
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:13,848
Maybe 'cause she's being followed around
325
00:13:13,882 --> 00:13:15,749
by some weirdo in a mullet.
326
00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:19,920
She is? Seriously?
327
00:13:19,938 --> 00:13:22,473
With all she has on her plate.
328
00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:25,059
Listen, Kyle, aren't
you a little embarrassed
329
00:13:25,093 --> 00:13:26,977
puppy-dogging after my daughter?
330
00:13:27,028 --> 00:13:28,863
I don't feel that way at all, Mr. B.
331
00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:30,614
It's what I enjoy most in my life.
332
00:13:30,649 --> 00:13:33,617
May not be good at a lot of things, but...
333
00:13:33,652 --> 00:13:36,153
I'm really great at caring about Mandy.
334
00:13:36,204 --> 00:13:37,771
And don't worry. I'm
giving her plenty of space.
335
00:13:37,789 --> 00:13:39,990
I haven't seen her in days.
336
00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,209
You saw her in class.
337
00:13:42,244 --> 00:13:46,280
No, uh, but I took excellent notes.
338
00:13:47,332 --> 00:13:49,133
She's been so busy with
the Kappa Kappa Nus,
339
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,467
and "the Kappa Kappa Nu's news."
340
00:13:50,502 --> 00:13:53,387
That's their online newsletter.
341
00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:55,422
She's the Nus' new news editor.
342
00:13:57,259 --> 00:13:59,560
You're a good guy, Kyle. Listen.
343
00:13:59,594 --> 00:14:01,896
When you clean up the
barf, try not to barf.
344
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,965
Once you get on that
merry-go-round, it's hard to get off.
345
00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:17,484
[Knock on window]
346
00:14:20,188 --> 00:14:23,156
Hey. Come in. Okay, you're gonna love this.
347
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:24,825
I came up with this
poem to help you remember
348
00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:26,243
the order of the planets from the sun.
349
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:27,494
Okay.
350
00:14:27,528 --> 00:14:29,363
Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars,
351
00:14:29,397 --> 00:14:32,532
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
352
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,087
Doesn't rhyme.
353
00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:40,274
It's free verse.
354
00:14:40,308 --> 00:14:42,960
I learned about it taking notes
for you in your English class.
355
00:14:43,011 --> 00:14:45,178
Oh. Hey, we have to talk.
356
00:14:45,213 --> 00:14:46,463
Okay.
357
00:14:46,514 --> 00:14:48,966
But you need to study this
stuff for the quiz tomorrow,
358
00:14:49,017 --> 00:14:51,635
so I'll talk in the character of the sun.
359
00:14:51,686 --> 00:14:53,020
[Clears throat]
360
00:14:55,139 --> 00:14:58,558
[Deep voice] Oh, I turn
hydrogen into helium!
361
00:15:02,146 --> 00:15:03,947
Helium!
362
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,118
Hey, you remember how Professor Moore said
363
00:15:08,152 --> 00:15:09,803
that Pluto used to be a planet
364
00:15:09,837 --> 00:15:11,121
and then, a few years ago,
365
00:15:11,155 --> 00:15:13,440
suddenly it wasn't a planet anymore?
366
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:15,942
[Normal voice] Yeah, I
know. Anything can happen.
367
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,130
We're living in the
golden age of astronomy.
368
00:15:20,164 --> 00:15:21,965
Right.
369
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,634
Well, maybe it happened
because the solar system
370
00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:26,636
just needed to take a break from Pluto.
371
00:15:26,671 --> 00:15:28,939
Like, maybe it still really loves Pluto.
372
00:15:28,973 --> 00:15:30,774
It just needs some time apart.
373
00:15:30,808 --> 00:15:32,125
What are you saying?
374
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,095
We haven't gotten to metaphors
in your English class yet.
375
00:15:36,698 --> 00:15:38,315
I'm finding it really
hard to balance my time
376
00:15:38,349 --> 00:15:40,167
between you and the sorority.
377
00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:47,941
Look, Mandy...
378
00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:51,278
you shouldn't be worried
about the sorority right now.
379
00:15:51,312 --> 00:15:52,612
And you shouldn't worry about me.
380
00:15:52,646 --> 00:15:53,980
You need to focus on school.
381
00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:56,083
- School will always be there.
- No.
382
00:15:56,117 --> 00:15:57,584
Don't take it for granted.
383
00:15:57,618 --> 00:15:59,486
Not everybody gets to go to college,
384
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,922
no matter how much money
your family sets aside
385
00:16:03,758 --> 00:16:07,644
not if you got a grandma with
a bus pass who plays the slots.
386
00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:10,497
Hey. You turned out great.
387
00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:11,548
[Chuckles] I know.
388
00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:13,433
A... and I love working at Outdoor Man
389
00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:15,769
with my best friend, Mr. Baxter.
390
00:16:17,572 --> 00:16:20,257
But you're destined for
bigger things than I am.
391
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,691
Yeah, I don't know about that.
392
00:16:21,726 --> 00:16:23,360
I do. Okay?
393
00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:29,199
And I will do anything to
help you do well in school.
394
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:32,969
Even if that means you need to
take a break from Pluto for a while.
395
00:16:43,282 --> 00:16:45,683
Still?
396
00:16:45,701 --> 00:16:50,755
Mr. Baxter, can I talk
to you in private, sir?
397
00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:54,792
Sure, Troy. Come on in.
398
00:16:56,411 --> 00:16:57,878
Take a seat on the couch.
399
00:16:57,913 --> 00:17:01,382
Or do you prefer an imaginary chair?
400
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:02,717
No. No, thank you.
401
00:17:02,751 --> 00:17:04,635
- This is, uh, a little... a little awkward here.
- Yeah.
402
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:06,220
I'm here on behalf of
the loading dock to talk
403
00:17:06,255 --> 00:17:10,207
to management about salary
and working conditions.
404
00:17:10,225 --> 00:17:12,543
It's your company, Ed,
so you're standing there
405
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:14,378
demanding more money from yourself.
406
00:17:14,396 --> 00:17:17,214
Hey, listen, the... the
guys at the loading dock
407
00:17:17,232 --> 00:17:20,384
were talking about the... you know,
the... the beer-company strike,
408
00:17:20,402 --> 00:17:24,405
and, uh, long story short,
I've been elected shop foreman.
409
00:17:24,439 --> 00:17:26,757
[Chuckles]
410
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:28,576
With that ponytail, they put you in charge?
411
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:30,244
Listen. Listen.
412
00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:33,914
It takes a lot of confidence
to pull off a ponytail.
413
00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:36,767
And I feel such a bond with these guys.
414
00:17:36,802 --> 00:17:38,252
They were chanting my name.
415
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:40,921
"Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy!"
416
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:42,623
Which is not your name.
417
00:17:42,658 --> 00:17:45,843
No. Actually, it's Trojillo.
418
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:48,746
I shortened it when I came to this country.
419
00:17:48,764 --> 00:17:52,133
See, t... there's a lot of
bigotry against Paraguayans.
420
00:17:52,184 --> 00:17:54,251
I'm gonna stop you there, Ed. This is nuts.
421
00:17:54,269 --> 00:17:57,588
You're right. You're right. [Clears throat]
422
00:17:57,606 --> 00:18:01,359
I think Troy Fontaine has
has gotten away from me.
423
00:18:01,393 --> 00:18:03,444
Yeah.
424
00:18:03,478 --> 00:18:07,281
Uh, I guess the best plan is to fire me.
425
00:18:07,316 --> 00:18:11,619
Um, you want me to do it, or...
426
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:13,454
or do you have a mirror handy?
427
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,293
Okay.
428
00:18:19,328 --> 00:18:22,997
Listen, Troy, as much as I
hate to do this, you're fired.
429
00:18:23,031 --> 00:18:25,016
[Groans]
430
00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:28,886
This blow is really gonna
be a test of Troy's sobriety.
431
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,055
You know, I'm beginning to understand
432
00:18:31,089 --> 00:18:33,507
that bias against Paraguayans.
433
00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:36,010
All right, Mike, look.
434
00:18:36,061 --> 00:18:38,145
This has been a good break for me, Mike.
435
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,848
Yeah, got away from the stresses
of being the boss. I get it.
436
00:18:40,899 --> 00:18:43,984
I lose myself in the
romance of unloading boxes.
437
00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:45,686
[Chuckles]
438
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:48,856
Which wears thin surprisingly quickly.
439
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:50,858
All right, I guess I'll
give the guys a raise
440
00:18:50,909 --> 00:18:52,576
and get some help on the dock.
441
00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:54,645
How about a little help up here?
442
00:18:54,663 --> 00:18:56,330
No, I have to handle this all myself.
443
00:18:56,365 --> 00:18:59,667
No, no, no. I mean up here.
444
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,170
You're not well, ed.
445
00:19:03,205 --> 00:19:05,206
Listen, look... fon't worry about me.
446
00:19:05,257 --> 00:19:07,208
All right? Ed will be back tomorrow.
447
00:19:07,259 --> 00:19:08,376
- Great.
- All right?
448
00:19:08,427 --> 00:19:10,711
And we'll forget this ever happened.
449
00:19:10,762 --> 00:19:11,879
Okay. All right?
450
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,997
All right. We're good.
451
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:19,002
I'll see you in hell, fat cat!
452
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:29,584
Hey, mom, I'm not gonna be home for dinner.
453
00:19:29,618 --> 00:19:30,951
I've got to get over to the house.
454
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,137
This is your house, and if
you want to keep living in it,
455
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,173
you got to stop cutting classes!
456
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:37,058
- You cut class?
- I missed astronomy.
457
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,627
It's just been really hard
keeping up with everything.
458
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,863
So you let your classes
slide? There's a good choice.
459
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:44,849
Honey, honey, we talked about this.
460
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,134
Yeah, and you were right. You know?
461
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:47,819
I had to make a choice
between the Kappa Nus and Kyle.
462
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,053
Oh, you know, I'm sorry.
463
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,022
Gosh, t... that must not have been easy.
464
00:19:51,073 --> 00:19:53,241
Uh, no. It was pretty easy. I chose Kyle.
465
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,476
Hey, nice to see you, Mr. B.!
466
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:59,847
Mrs. B.
467
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,056
Those are lovely earrings.
468
00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:11,125
I'm, uh, on my way over
to quit the sorority.
469
00:20:11,159 --> 00:20:13,211
Oh, boy. They already taught
you their secret handshake.
470
00:20:13,262 --> 00:20:14,929
Now they're gonna have to kill you.
471
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,466
Mandy, honey, come... you were so excited.
472
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,268
Yeah, it's too bad she won't be meeting
473
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,137
all those "new, interesting men."
474
00:20:23,171 --> 00:20:26,474
But don't worry. I'll try
not to "hold her back."
475
00:20:26,508 --> 00:20:28,392
Did you really say that, Vanessa?
476
00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:32,146
Hey, look... I've decided
that I don't need the kind
477
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,816
of heavy social life that I
had in high school, you know?
478
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:37,952
I'm gonna face college as
an individual like dad did.
479
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,705
All alone, but with Kyle.
480
00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:43,775
Pretty much the same as being alone.
481
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,409
And part of that is I don't need you
482
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,128
to drive me to class every day, you know?
483
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,831
Maybe I'll be lonely, but I'll be okay
484
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:51,466
'cause I know you'll be waiting for me.
485
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,033
And I'm okay, too.
486
00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:55,887
Except for a searing feeling of betrayal
487
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,222
from someone I used to
think of as a second mother.
488
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,425
- Oh, Kyle! Come on! I didn't mean to...
- [door slams]
489
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,728
Honey, honey. You meant it.
490
00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:08,015
You know, I just want what's best for her.
491
00:21:08,049 --> 00:21:11,051
And you don't want grandchildren
with webbed feet. I understand.
492
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:13,437
You know, I worry about our daughters
493
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,473
a... and the men they choose.
494
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:16,657
Yeah, I know.
495
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,827
They... they can't all win
the lottery like you did.
496
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,445
[Chuckles]
497
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:22,446
Just remember...
498
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,015
a lot of people who win the lottery
499
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,551
end up killing themselves.
500
00:21:26,595 --> 00:21:29,564
Huh. And you remember they usually
end up blowing their winnings.
501
00:21:32,315 --> 00:21:40,180
- synced and corrected by
chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
38013
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