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1
00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:05,396
Mrs. Wilkes is having
trouble with her daughter.
2
00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:08,008
You have a real knack
with people who've
lost their way.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,226
You asked me
to help your daughter.
4
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:10,836
There's a thing
called accountability,
5
00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:12,273
and you need
to open up an account.
6
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:19,019
♪ ♪
7
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,850
I know
I'm gonna regret this.
8
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,504
Oh, quit being a baby.
9
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:29,290
Come on, man.
I need your
honest opinion.
10
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:32,771
It's time for me to take
Sounds and Grounds Coffee
to the next level.
11
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,251
Oh, you mean
make it drinkable?
12
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,472
Come on,
this is Cold Brew, man.
13
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:40,605
This is the
next generation
of coffee.
14
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,694
Are you high?
It's coffee.
15
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,175
It doesn't need a new gimmick.
It does two things.
16
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,090
It keeps you awake,
and it makes you shit.
17
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,439
That's it.
18
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:52,095
Man, it's sad
how simple-minded
you are.
19
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,533
Ben, please try this.
20
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,621
Okay.
21
00:00:58,406 --> 00:00:59,450
Mm.
22
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,451
Right?
23
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,195
Tastes like coffee.
Really cold coffee.
24
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:07,632
Okay, Loudermilk.
25
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:10,418
All right,
all right, fine.
26
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:13,029
Does it have to be
in a shot glass?
27
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,640
It's like eating ice cream
out of a pita pocket.
28
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,948
Pita pocket.
Come on, now.
29
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:22,691
Well?Hm.
30
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:27,087
Smoky, balanced acidity
with a subtle yet complex hint
of bitterness and sweetness.
31
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,045
That...
That's perfect.
32
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,701
Smoky, balanced...
33
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,268
I gotta say,
it doesn't suck.
34
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,748
Mm-hmm.
It's definitely
doing its job.
35
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,446
Waking you up?Nope. The other thing.
36
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,106
♪ ♪
37
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,588
All right, then.
Next week will be
38
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:53,156
the last class
before midterms,
39
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:56,594
so have your
questions ready.
40
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,118
All right, off you go, now.
41
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,867
Was I snoring?
42
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,739
No.
43
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,480
Shit. What did I miss?
44
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,786
So, so much.
45
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,005
Fuck. Really?
46
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:17,441
Yeah.Oh, God.
47
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,704
Don't worry.
You can copy my notes.
48
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:21,141
I think I got most of it.
49
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,795
That's great.
50
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:27,451
I particularly, um, love
the shading on the balls.
51
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,366
Yeah?
52
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:32,326
Kiss-ass Andy
kiss-assed the entire time.
53
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,502
Oh, and we got to hear
about the time that Obama
54
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:35,938
came to his
seventh grade class
55
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,505
and told him
that he had promise.
56
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:38,897
What a dork.
57
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,899
I'm sure Obama
says that to everybody.
58
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:43,467
Yeah, poli-sci majors
are such narcissists,
almost as bad as pre-med.
59
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,512
What's your major?
60
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:45,687
Uh, Pre-med.
61
00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,124
Uh, I'm going
this way, so...
62
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,256
Oh, I'm Claire.
63
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,779
Oh, yes, I know.
64
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,041
I've been sitting
next to you all semester.
65
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,999
I'm Ryan.Yes, I know.
66
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,479
Do you live
in the dorms?
67
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,394
God, no.
I was banned
freshman year.
68
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:58,917
Really?Mm-hmm.
69
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,484
It's a long story.
70
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:03,008
I would love
to hear about it
some time.
71
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,271
What are you doing
this weekend?
72
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,576
Um, nothing, really.
73
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,665
Uh, work.
Cramming for midterms.
74
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,885
Well, if you wanna
hang out or something...
75
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,932
No fucking way.
76
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,282
Uh, yeah, well...
77
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,631
At least you didn't
pepper-spray me.
78
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:17,936
Oh, no,
that wasn't about you...
79
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,242
Hello, Claire.
80
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,157
Mom, what are
you doing here?
81
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,594
I signed up
for a creative writing class
82
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:24,943
through the university
extension program.
83
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,554
I told you about this
weeks ago.
84
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,773
Yeah, but I thought
those classes happened
85
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,210
under the dark
cover of night.
86
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,515
Nope.
87
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:32,734
So...
88
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,433
Aren't you going to
introduce me to your friend?
89
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,435
Nope.
90
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:41,090
I'm Ryan Caldwell.
Nice to meet you,
Claire's mom.
91
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,397
Please, call me Judith.Okay.
92
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,616
Um, I'm gonna jet.
Nice to see you, Claire.
93
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,227
See you soon.
Nice to meet you, Judith.
94
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,797
Mom, I know
what you're thinking.
95
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,756
Just stop.
It's nothing.
96
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,758
He's very polite,
97
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,194
and that's all
I'll say for now.
98
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,588
Mm. And handsome.
99
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,111
Mom.
100
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,244
Okay, I'm done.
I'm just happy
you're dating.
101
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,897
Thank you.
102
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:08,335
I'm glad
we ran into each other.
Do you have a minute?
103
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,727
I'm actually...
I'm running late for work.
104
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,816
My professor
assigned the class
105
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,949
to write a short story
about something
personal to us.
106
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,646
I'm wondering
if I went too deep.
107
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:16,821
Would you mind
reading mine?
108
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,432
I could really
use your opinion.
109
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,956
Uh, I don't know.
I'm not a writer, Mom,
110
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,392
and I'm really busy
with work and school.
111
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,872
Please, Claire.
112
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,658
Okay, fine.
But give me a few days.
113
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,225
Thanks.
Let me find it.
114
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,922
Can I grab this later?
I'm gonna miss my bus.
115
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,185
Oh, I'm sorry.
We've been workshopping
stories in class.
116
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:36,101
There are
so many in here.
Found it.
117
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:39,017
All right, anybody else
have a problem?
118
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,410
I feel like I'm on a roll.
119
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:43,065
I got a problem,
and it's a tough one.
120
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,501
Go ahead, Mugsy.
121
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,242
I had some of the kids
over last night,
122
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,766
and little Gerald
needed help
with his homework,
123
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,725
and I couldn't
even do it.
124
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,857
That's not the kind
of problem that
I was talking about.
125
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,425
I feel like an idiot.
I can't even do
third grade math.
126
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,427
Don't feel bad.
There was a whole game show
127
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,211
about being dumber
than a third grader.
128
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,301
Wasn't that Are You Smarter
than a 5th Grader?
129
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,563
Never mind.
You're a fucking idiot.
130
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,217
So I don't know what to do.
131
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,697
I'm supposed to go
to career day
132
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,221
for Gerald's class
and talk about my job?
133
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,702
Does anybody
have a problem,
problem?
134
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:14,226
Um,
what's the rule again
about dating?
135
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:16,446
How long into your sobriety
are you supposed to wait?
136
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,579
Well, nine months,
at least.
137
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,929
You know, personally,
I recommend two to three years
138
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:24,411
of celibacy
to really be ready,
but I waited five.
139
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,716
I bet ya that
wasn't on purpose.
140
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:27,327
Fuck you.
141
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,503
Who's the unlucky guy,
Claire?
142
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,941
Someone from school.
143
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,377
He's a really good guy,
144
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,946
and he's totally
got his shit together.
145
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,643
Shit together
as in he doesn't sleep
146
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:42,298
in a cardboard box
under a freeway overpass?
147
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:43,560
No.
148
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,432
As in he's pre-med.
149
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,825
Oh, boy.
150
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,393
You know all pre-meds
are narcissists, right?
151
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,568
So?
152
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,396
I'd date a narcissist.
153
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,398
Or an arsonist.
154
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,183
Or anyone, really.
God, I'm so...
155
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,098
Fucking lonely, you know?
But...
156
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:03,232
Okay, well,
he's not a narcissist,
157
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,365
and I think
he really likes me.
158
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,584
He wants to ask me out.
159
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,587
But I'm kind of nervous.
I don't know how to do this.
160
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,980
Do what?
161
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,416
Well, how do I tell him
about my past
162
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,070
without scaring him off?
163
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,724
Oh, you mean
all that lesbo action?
164
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,160
Hell, I'd lead with that.
165
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,553
No, asshole.
166
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,294
The...meth
and stripping stuff.
167
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,949
I'm with Ed. Don't be afraid
to be completely revealing.
168
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,777
It's sexy, but I'd tell him
about the stripping,
169
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,083
you know,
before the meth.
170
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,259
I disagree.
Meth before stripping.
171
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,130
That's the natural
order of things.
172
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,655
You know,
I did tons of meth,
and I never stripped.
173
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,396
But I once did
give a guy a hand-job
174
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,876
in an alley
with my shirt off.
175
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:41,009
His idea.
176
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,619
There's a lot
of freaks out there.
177
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,623
You know,
I never thought
I'd say this,
178
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,016
but Tony's half-right.
179
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,280
I think just be honest
with the guy, Claire,
180
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,803
and if he's got
his shit together,
181
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,153
then he can handle
your history.
182
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,597
"Does not meet
our current publishing needs."
183
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,599
You don't know
what fucking publishing needs.
184
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,209
It's why the industry's dying.
185
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,654
Hey, Loudermilk.
186
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,613
Can you do me a favor?
187
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:22,398
If it's to pose nude
for one of your
sketch classes, ask Ben.
188
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,660
Eww.
189
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,096
You having a bad day?
190
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:27,621
A typical day.
I got another rejection.
191
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,144
That sucks.
192
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,842
Maybe you should rewrite it
and resubmit it.
193
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:35,237
How can I rewrite it
if I have somebody squatting
in my office all the time?
194
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:37,065
Besides, it doesn't need
to be rewritten.
195
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:38,849
It needs to be read
by someone
who's not an idiot.
196
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,764
I see.
197
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,158
Well, could you
please help me out?
198
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:44,725
My mom's taking
a writing class,
199
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,683
and she gave me short story
of hers to read.
200
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,555
Wait, really?
201
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,861
Your mother doesn't strike me
as the artistic type.
202
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:53,385
I would think
more an attorney
or a truant officer.
203
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,432
Anyway, I'm swamped
with school and work.
I don't have time.
204
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,825
Do you think
you could read it for me,
205
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,696
maybe just give,
like, a couple notes?
206
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,568
Well, it depends.
How nice do I have to be?
207
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,613
Not at all.Oh, that I can do.
208
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,397
Here.
209
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,014
Mm-hmm.
210
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,016
What are you doing?What's it look
like I'm doing?
211
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,974
I'm taking stock of all
the mugs that Claire stole.
212
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,585
You're losing it, dude.
213
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,238
She took my
"World's Greatest Dad" mug.
214
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,023
That was a gift...
215
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,807
From my dad to himself.
216
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,201
Oh, hey, don't forget.
I need you to pick me up
at 2:00 today.
217
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,595
What? Where?My dentist. Remember?
218
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,900
I'm having
my wisdom teeth yanked.
219
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,554
Aren't you a little
old for that?
220
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:32,816
Well, it's complicated.
221
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,470
While I have
Ben Kingsley's hairline,
222
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,124
I have the teeth
of a six-year-old.
223
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,952
Anyway, they said I need
someone to bring me home.
224
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,867
You know, like an escort.
225
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,347
Escort. Okay, well,
I'm $150 an hour,
226
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,175
and no kissing
on the lips.On the lips.
227
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,658
Hey, I lobbed that one
up to you, didn't I?
228
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,574
Kind of low-hanging fruit.
229
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,275
Fascinating.
230
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,800
Now, children, do you
have any questions
for Sadie's dad?
231
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,498
How long did you
have to go to school
to become a scientist?
232
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,413
Well, that's an
excellent question.
233
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,763
Thank you.
Let me see.
234
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,374
Four years at MIT,
then another four at Cal Tech,
235
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,594
plus my internship
and residency,
236
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:15,032
so all in all,
it was about
ten extra years
237
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,513
of school for me
to earn my doctorate.
238
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,210
Whoa. That's a lot of school.
239
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,995
Thank you, Dr. Fairchild.
240
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,214
We are so lucky
to have a recipient
241
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:27,001
of the Kyoto Prize in advanced
technology with us here today.
242
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,045
Thank you.
243
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,920
Okay, so next up,
we have Gerald's dad.
244
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,008
Mr. Bennigan?
245
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,575
Uh, shouldn't we, like,
246
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,402
stop for a snack
or something?
247
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,883
It just feels like the kids
could really just, you know,
248
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,059
get a break, you know,
especially after hearing that.
249
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,192
And I can come back
next week, and...
250
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,410
No, no.
That's not necessary.
251
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,803
Please, go ahead.
252
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,894
Okay.
253
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:53,680
Uh, hey, all right, ha.
254
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,812
Um, hi. Ha.
255
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:59,642
As you can see,
I am not a biogenetic-y
256
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:02,819
Bob Nye the Science Guy
like Mr. Fairchild.
257
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:04,081
Doctor.
258
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,649
I'm sorry,
Mr. Fairchild the doctor.
259
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,478
Did you also have to go
to school for ten years?
260
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:13,482
Yes. In fact, I went to
school for exactly ten years.
261
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,310
Tell them what you do, Dad.
262
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,181
Okay. Well,
you're all familiar
263
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:20,402
with raccoons
and squirrels and skunks...
264
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,099
I was a skunk for
Halloween!
265
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:25,276
Really? Okay.
Well, that's cute.
266
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:28,323
Well, sometimes,
parents don't want skunks
267
00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:31,239
knocking on their door,
so they call me,
268
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,371
and I come over,
and I kill it.
269
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,593
You kill skunks?
270
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,639
Yeah, yeah.
I kill skunks.
271
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,685
I kill possums.
I kill rats.
272
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,731
Anything
with four legs or more,
273
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:48,648
I will come over
to your house,
and I will kill it.
274
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,563
Well, actually,
the scientificky term
275
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,174
is exterminate.
Isn't that right, Doc?
276
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,392
I-I-I...It is.
277
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,611
It's exterminate.
In fact,
278
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:57,091
I'm gonna spell it for you.
279
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,702
Um, exterminate.
280
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,704
Um...
281
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,843
Okay, well, anyway,
you get the idea.
282
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628
And it's really a nice job.
283
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,499
I like it.
The money's good.
284
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,937
When I'm out on my own,
I'm kind of my own boss.
285
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,460
And, um...
286
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,070
Hey, you mentioned Halloween.
287
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,899
It is sort of like
Halloween
for the animals.
288
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:26,337
I give the animals
a very special candy,
289
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,078
and they go back
to their nest
290
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,037
and they give it
to their whole family.
291
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:32,169
You give
the whole family candy?
292
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,518
Yeah. Even the babies.
293
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,607
Yeah.
294
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,609
Oh, and you know how,
like, sometimes,
295
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,046
like, if you eat
too much candy,
296
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:40,438
like after Halloween,
297
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:42,005
you get, like, a tummy ache.
298
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:45,661
Well, they feel much,
much worse.
299
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:50,231
And they're not gonna be
knocking on your door anymore.
300
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:53,321
Ha. So are there
any questions?
301
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:56,150
What kind of person
kills animals for a living?
302
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,673
That is
an excellent question.
303
00:11:57,673 --> 00:12:00,284
A licensed exterminator.
304
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,808
You're a psychopath!
305
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,548
How do you sleep at night?
306
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:07,727
Shut the fuck up!
307
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,817
That's my dad.
308
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,253
Show him some respect.
309
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,177
Hi, um, I'm Sam Loudermilk.
I'm here to pick up Ben Burns.
310
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,656
Is he ready?
My meter's running.
311
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,528
We've been trying
to call you.
312
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:29,270
Oh, well, I probably
wasn't checking my phone.
313
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,620
Why not?
314
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,666
Is it some kind of rule
of being on the planet
315
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,668
that I have to constantly
check my phone?
316
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:39,846
When you're his
"in case of emergency"
person, there is.
317
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,064
So what's the emergency?
318
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,197
Mr. Loudermilk,
319
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,894
I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
320
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,549
Is he dead?
321
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,029
No, no.
God no.
322
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:52,075
But his wisdom teeth
were deeply impacted,
323
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:55,426
and he had to be given
additional medication.
324
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,777
We gave him a tank and a half,
and since he came to,
325
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,127
he's been very talkative
and erratic.
326
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:02,477
Okay, well, yeah,
that lines up.
327
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,264
Loudermilk.
328
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,223
Look at the massacre
of my teeth.
329
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,702
He's been doing
Godfather impersonations
330
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,575
for the past hour...
Parts I and II.
331
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,795
Please get him out of here
before he starts doing III.
332
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,884
All right,
I got it from here.
333
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,712
Whoever comes to you
with this Barzini meeting...
334
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,497
He's the traitor.
335
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,108
Don't forget that.
336
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,719
- I got you home safe.
- My job is done.
337
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,591
Need you to tuck me in.
338
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,158
No.
339
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,119
Can you read me
a story?
340
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,251
Fuck off.
341
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,610
Fuck me.
342
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,356
All right,
this ought to put
you right to sleep.
343
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,531
Oh, what is it?
344
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,012
Uh, Being a Woman.
345
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:01,884
It's some short story
Claire's mom wrote.
346
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,191
Oh."Joanne stood naked
347
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,714
"in front of the mirror.
348
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,847
"She examined
every inch of her body,
349
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,938
"the memory of his firm
touch still lingering.
350
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:15,289
"Did she look different
since the tryst?
351
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,204
"Smell different?
352
00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:21,512
"Henry would be home soon,
and she needed to shower.
353
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:25,429
"As she let the hot water
run down her breasts,
354
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:28,563
"she closed her eyes
and tried to wash away
the sins
355
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,696
"of what had just happened
in the pizza parlor restroom."
356
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,222
"But it was impossible.
357
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:38,181
"Her mind kept returning
to his throbbing muscle
358
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,835
"thrusting into her
as she clutched
359
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,316
"the stall door for support,
360
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,492
"his broken English
and the distant jukebox
361
00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:47,756
"muffling her groans
of pain and delight."
362
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,543
What the fuck?
363
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,241
So med school.
364
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,373
That's exciting.
Are you ready for that?
365
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,114
Not quite.
366
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,899
I think I still have
some partying
to get out of my system.
367
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,813
And then, actually,
I plan on taking
368
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,424
a year off
after graduation.
369
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,469
Kind of traveling
the world
370
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:08,168
before I stuck in a lab
for six years, you know?
371
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,083
I spent my junior year
of high school in Europe,
372
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,215
and pretty much lived
in the museums.
373
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,738
It was awesome...
374
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,392
From what I can remember.
375
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,046
I think I was wasted
the entire time.
376
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,482
That's awesome.
377
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:20,049
I can totally picture you
sitting in Paris
378
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,312
in a little cafe
with a beret on,
379
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,053
eating croissants,
sipping wine.
380
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,099
Yeah, not exactly sipping.
381
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,622
Ooh, speaking of which,
let's split a bottle.
382
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,797
Yeah?
383
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,233
Yeah.
384
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,844
Hi, can we have a bottle
of the Brunello?
385
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:33,976
Uh...Don't worry.
386
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,717
It's really good.Great choice.
387
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,458
I'll be right back.
388
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,938
Um, about that...
389
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,200
What are you
gonna have?
390
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,941
Hmm. Yeah...
391
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,943
I mean, you're gonna have
the spaghetti and meatballs.
392
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,119
Oh, yeah.
393
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:49,383
I'll probably have
something with lots
of carbs and cheese,
394
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,341
which is just about
everything on the menu.
395
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,430
Yeah, that is awesome.
I love that.
396
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,955
A girl who eats real food,
not just avocado toast
397
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,044
with Brussels sprouts
and a bone broth chaser.
398
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:00,611
Yeah.
399
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,487
♪ ♪
400
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,361
Mm. It's great.
401
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:12,580
Thank you.
402
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,366
Um...
403
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,368
Oh, do you not like reds?
404
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:21,241
No, no, actually,
the opposite.
405
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,938
I like them a little
too much.
406
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,464
Enjoy.
407
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,858
Um...
408
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,686
I don't drink.Oh.
409
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,601
I probably should've
told you sooner.
410
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,690
I just... I didn't know
how or when
to say something.
411
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,736
It's totally cool.
412
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,999
Totally fine.
413
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,000
All good.
414
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:46,483
Um, just so
we're on the same page,
you are sober.
415
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,399
For two years, ten months,
and a week, to be exact.
416
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,184
Well, I mean,
I don't have to drink this.
417
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:53,012
Oh, no, no, no, no,
you go ahead.
418
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,578
I actually like
watching people drink.
419
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,755
Meth was more my jam,
anyway.
420
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,105
Meth?Yeah.
421
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,673
Yeah. Just, um,
422
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,197
trying to be open
and honest here.
423
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,809
Um, wow, crazy.
424
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,550
A-any other drugs?
425
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,030
Um...
426
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,379
I mean, there was...
427
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,512
Should we get some
appetizers?
428
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:16,861
Yeah, yeah.
429
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,472
Okay, cool.Let's get an appetizer.
430
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,092
Hey.
431
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,878
Oh, hey.
432
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,794
Uh, I'm just reclaiming
what's mine.
433
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,406
I get it.
She does the same thing
with my ottomans.
434
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,322
Is Claire home?
435
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,671
I need to pick up
something from her.
436
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,325
No, she's out somewhere.
437
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,109
I think she's on a date.
438
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,590
Oh. Okay.
439
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,505
You want me
to pass on a message?
440
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,724
Uh, no, thanks.
Nothing important.
441
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,424
I gave her a short story
I wrote recently.
442
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,121
She said she had
some notes for me.
443
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,731
I have to turn
it in soon, so...
444
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:03,082
Yeah, your story,
I read it.
445
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,258
You did?
446
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,173
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
Um...
447
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,565
Oh, don't be.
448
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:11,090
I gotta say,
it was pretty good.
449
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,224
Best decaf in town.
450
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,793
You have quite
the eclectic place.
451
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:21,187
Oh, thank you.
I might go into
interior design
452
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,972
if the janitorial gig
doesn't work out.
453
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,321
You know,
it just occurred to me.
454
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:28,716
This is my
first time here.Mm.
455
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,761
Claire and I weren't exactly
on the best of terms
456
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:31,936
when you were roommates.
457
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,373
Well, for most of the time,
458
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,809
she and I weren't
on the best of terms, either.
459
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,422
I don't think
I've ever thanked you
460
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,120
for what you did for her.
461
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,296
For our family, really.
462
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:46,168
You were a godsend.
Literally.
463
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,475
Father Michael
brought us together,
remember?
464
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,564
Yeah, I don't know
if I'd call that a godsend.
465
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,221
Wow.
466
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,788
You sure do have
a lot of vinyl.
467
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,790
I used to have more.
468
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,488
I'd get about five
or six a week
469
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,359
from the record companies
back when I reviewed them.
470
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,927
I used to have
so many albums
when I was a kid.
471
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,147
Huh.I would just
lay on my bed
472
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,323
for hours playing music.
473
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,151
That was me, too.
I'd wake up on a Saturday,
474
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,501
throw a record on,
spend the whole second side
475
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:15,980
trying to figure out
what I'd play next,
476
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,982
and just keep going
till my mom came down,
477
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,506
kicked me outside
to go play.
478
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,119
Pool.
Never heard of them.
479
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,600
Pool?
480
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,123
Huh.
481
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,472
Throw it on.
482
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,691
Let's hear some music.
483
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:45,358
♪ ♪
484
00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:54,715
This is nice.
485
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:55,890
Yeah, this is really nice.
486
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,109
I'm shocked
I don't remember it.
487
00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,981
No, I meant this.
488
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,939
You and me talking
like civilized people.
489
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:07,206
Every time I saw
you before, it was...
490
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,033
Well, we were
dealing with issues.
491
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:11,340
Yeah.
We were, weren't we?
492
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,037
This is way better,
and, you know,
493
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,518
we don't have
Father Mike in between us.
494
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:19,000
♪ ♪
495
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,349
So...
496
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,006
Did you think it was
too dark?
497
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,050
What?
498
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,879
Oh. My short story.
499
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,838
Oh, no.
Uh-uh, no.
500
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,361
Not at all.
501
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,233
No, I thought it
was just dark enough.
502
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,539
It made it really...
Really sexy.
503
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,498
Oh.
504
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:41,544
Well, I suppose I can see
where you might find
505
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,111
the sexual symbolism in it.
506
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:46,984
I'd call that
a little more
than symbolism.
507
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:52,338
Well, thanks.
I'm so happy you liked it.
508
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,862
I've never shared
my writing with anyone,
until now.
509
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,342
You're kidding me.No.
510
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:59,823
So...you think
I've got potential?
511
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:02,086
You know what you have
is that you're brave.
512
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,045
That's half the battle
right there.
513
00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:05,786
You're not afraid
to put yourself out there.
514
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,746
Thank you.
515
00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:12,706
You have no idea
516
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,185
how nice that is to hear.
517
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,277
Claire's father
wasn't exactly supportive
518
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,366
of my creative endeavors,
519
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,759
so I was always reluctant
520
00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:24,544
to expose myself like that.
521
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,328
You shouldn't be.
522
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,678
You should just
keep on exposing yourself.
523
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,248
♪ ♪
524
00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:40,821
♪ You make me feel
525
00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:42,649
♪ When I'm alone ♪
526
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:43,954
This is fucking weird.
527
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:45,304
So fucking weird.
528
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:49,482
♪ So I blame
it on my heart
529
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:58,186
♪ And why I always
fall apart
530
00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:00,841
♪ 'Cause I get too excited
531
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,712
♪ Too excited
532
00:22:02,712 --> 00:22:08,327
♪ What am I gonna do? ♪
533
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,328
Sam?
534
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:11,852
Hey. Hey, buddy.
535
00:22:17,988 --> 00:22:19,903
Sorry about that.
536
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,823
Hey, what's up?
537
00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:28,172
Not much.
538
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,350
Yeah, so listen, um...
539
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,830
I'm really sorry
for not telling you
sooner.
540
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:35,179
You know, about my past.
541
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:36,659
How could you
tell me sooner?
542
00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:38,487
We're just getting
to know each other.
543
00:22:38,487 --> 00:22:40,402
Fair enough.
544
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,362
Um, anyway, I just hope
it didn't freak you out.
545
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,059
No. Not really.
546
00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:48,323
I mean,
maybe a little.
547
00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:49,977
Yeah, it usually does,
548
00:22:49,977 --> 00:22:53,284
which is why I don't typically
broadcast it to the world.
549
00:22:53,284 --> 00:22:55,809
No one in college
wants to date
a boring sober chick.
550
00:22:55,809 --> 00:22:58,768
Claire, you're not...
You're not boring.
551
00:22:58,768 --> 00:23:01,858
I think
you're a really great girl.
I just... I don't know.
552
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:04,034
I have a lot
going on right now, and...
553
00:23:04,034 --> 00:23:05,514
So it did freak you out.
554
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,778
I don't know.
I really like you.
555
00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:10,737
I just... your past
is kind of a lot
to deal with.
556
00:23:10,737 --> 00:23:13,392
You're not dealing with it.
I'm dealing with it.
557
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,698
Right, yeah.
No, I know. I just...
558
00:23:15,698 --> 00:23:17,526
It's not really
a world that I know,
559
00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:21,312
or ever really
expected to be in.
560
00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:24,620
It's like, you're,
like, kind of like
this Courtney Love
561
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:28,581
type girl,
and I guess I'm looking more
for like a Courtney Cox.
562
00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:30,060
Who's that?
563
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:31,758
You don't watch Friends? Uh-uh.
564
00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:32,672
See, we're just so different.
565
00:23:35,631 --> 00:23:37,677
Why don't you just say it?
566
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:39,287
You don't want to date
a recovering addict.
567
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:44,248
Well, if I'm being
completely honest,
568
00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:46,642
if I were making
a list of things
I look for in a girl,
569
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,427
former meth-head
wouldn't be on it.
570
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:52,561
I'm really sorry.
571
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:53,780
I'm just not really
ready for this.
572
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:55,651
I'm sorry.
573
00:23:58,785 --> 00:24:01,440
♪ ♪
574
00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:07,446
Hey.
575
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,404
How you feeling?
576
00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:12,363
Like somebody pried
my jaw open with a crowbar
577
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:14,409
and drilled the fuck
out of my face.
578
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:17,064
Hey, how did I
even get home?
579
00:24:18,195 --> 00:24:19,545
I-I came and got you.
580
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,548
So, wait, does that...
581
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:25,594
Y-you don't remember
much about yesterday?
582
00:24:25,594 --> 00:24:27,683
Just climbing
into the dentist chair,
583
00:24:27,683 --> 00:24:29,511
and getting a mask.
584
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:32,688
After that,
nothing but an overall
bad taste in my mouth,
585
00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:34,385
although that could
just be the stinky,
586
00:24:34,385 --> 00:24:38,215
bloody bandages
still packed into my gums.
587
00:24:38,215 --> 00:24:42,045
Oh, and I remember you boning
Claire's mom on the couch.
588
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,836
Fucker ran for the hills
when he found out
I was an addict.
589
00:24:49,836 --> 00:24:51,751
I knew I should've lied.
590
00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:53,622
Great plan.
Yeah.
591
00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:56,495
Every decent relationship
should be based on deception.
592
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:59,889
No offense, but relationship
advice from a burnout stoner
593
00:24:59,889 --> 00:25:01,761
isn't exactly what
I'm looking for this morning.
594
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:04,154
Oh. Stoner?
595
00:25:04,154 --> 00:25:05,634
You know what?
596
00:25:05,634 --> 00:25:08,115
I've never touched
a drug in my life.
597
00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:09,638
Yeah, right.
598
00:25:09,638 --> 00:25:11,161
No, dead serious.
599
00:25:11,161 --> 00:25:13,337
No drugs or alcohol,
like, ever.
600
00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,384
Addiction runs
in my family,
601
00:25:16,384 --> 00:25:19,343
and I didn't really
feel like joining the crowd.
602
00:25:19,343 --> 00:25:21,389
So you're just
like this normally?
603
00:25:22,346 --> 00:25:23,478
Like what?
604
00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:25,654
You know... Weird.
605
00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:28,483
Yeah. This weirdness
is 100% me.
606
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,661
You know, for what
it's worth, Claire,
607
00:25:32,661 --> 00:25:34,881
this guy's
a fucking idiot
608
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:37,144
for judging you
on your addiction.
609
00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:41,278
You're who you are today
because of your addiction.
610
00:25:41,278 --> 00:25:45,369
It's taught you compassion
and forgiveness and humility
611
00:25:45,369 --> 00:25:49,635
and to cherish
the things that you have.
612
00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:51,898
And you know what?
613
00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:53,813
Those are the things
that I like about you.
614
00:25:59,949 --> 00:26:03,083
But you're the worst
fucking tambourine
player ever.
615
00:26:04,519 --> 00:26:05,738
Ever.
616
00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:13,223
So, Mugsy, how'd it go
at your kid's school?
617
00:26:13,223 --> 00:26:14,485
Homerun.Hmm.
618
00:26:14,485 --> 00:26:15,791
Nice.
619
00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:17,576
There you go.MUGSY: Yeah.
620
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:22,189
His classmates were
judgy little fuck-turds,
but...
621
00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:23,538
Gerald had my back.
622
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,410
That was pretty cool.
623
00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:28,674
Hey, Claire,
how did your date go?
624
00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:30,153
Did you tell him
how much you like
625
00:26:30,153 --> 00:26:32,416
driving bumper to bumper?
626
00:26:32,416 --> 00:26:34,549
Um, no, Ed.
627
00:26:34,549 --> 00:26:36,507
But thank you
for the follow-up.
628
00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:39,380
Actually,
the date sucked.
629
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:41,121
Turns out,
a recovering addict
630
00:26:41,121 --> 00:26:43,253
isn't exactly
everyone's dream girl.
631
00:26:45,429 --> 00:26:47,997
Well, you get back
on the horse.
632
00:26:47,997 --> 00:26:50,783
Not the horse,
but the...
633
00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:54,308
Okay.
634
00:26:55,831 --> 00:26:58,660
All right, anybody else
before we wrap it up?
635
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,662
Yeah, I got
something, too.
636
00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:04,666
Um, yesterday,
I had my wisdom teeth
pulled,
637
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:09,323
which, of course,
requires some medication.
638
00:27:09,323 --> 00:27:14,023
But today,
I can honestly say
that the feeling
639
00:27:14,023 --> 00:27:16,983
of being out of control
and a bunch of stuff,
I just...
640
00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:20,160
I didn't like it.
641
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,466
I used to love
medical procedures.
642
00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:25,339
I once had
a vasectomy reversed
just to get a little oxy.
643
00:27:25,339 --> 00:27:27,471
Why would you get a vasectomy
in the first place?
644
00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:29,778
For the Vicodin.
645
00:27:31,911 --> 00:27:34,348
Hey, did you
read that story
I gave you the other day?
646
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,177
Story.
647
00:27:37,177 --> 00:27:39,353
Yeah, yeah, sure.
648
00:27:39,353 --> 00:27:41,790
Uh, yeah, I got it
right here.
649
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:43,009
Um...
650
00:27:44,967 --> 00:27:46,577
Yeah.
651
00:27:46,577 --> 00:27:49,102
I gotta say, I never...
652
00:27:49,102 --> 00:27:50,799
Never thought
I'd be admitting this,
653
00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:54,673
but your mom's actually
a really interesting writer.
654
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,675
Yeah, sorry
to disappoint you,
655
00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:57,806
but my mom
didn't write that.
656
00:27:57,806 --> 00:27:59,155
Hm?
657
00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:00,635
It's a whole thing.
658
00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:02,158
She gave me a story,
and then she realized
659
00:28:02,158 --> 00:28:03,769
she gave me the wrong story,
so she came back
660
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:05,205
and gave me
the right story,
661
00:28:05,205 --> 00:28:07,990
but then by accident,
I gave you the wrong story.
662
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:09,818
Anyway, I'm sorry.
663
00:28:09,818 --> 00:28:11,994
This is my mom's actual story.
664
00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:16,129
"A Nun's Tale"?Yeah.
665
00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:18,261
It's about a deeply
religious woman
666
00:28:18,261 --> 00:28:20,350
who questions whether
or not to join a convent
and become a nun.
667
00:28:20,350 --> 00:28:21,830
Jesus, Claire.
668
00:28:21,830 --> 00:28:23,702
You're messing
with people's lives here.
669
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:26,052
You gotta be careful
with this shit.
670
00:28:26,052 --> 00:28:27,488
You're a weirdo.
671
00:28:34,451 --> 00:28:37,063
♪ ♪
672
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:43,809
♪ You've been livin' life
on a thin line
673
00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:47,377
♪ ♪
674
00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:51,599
♪ But it really gets you down
675
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:54,776
♪ Ah ah ah
676
00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:58,258
♪ You can try,
but it don't feel right
677
00:28:58,258 --> 00:29:01,261
♪ ♪
678
00:29:01,261 --> 00:29:04,438
♪ Oh, to light a candle
for the underground
679
00:29:04,438 --> 00:29:07,397
♪ Ah ah
680
00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:10,836
♪ Not the same song
you remember
681
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:14,970
♪ You can try,
but it's just plain wrong ♪
682
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:17,930
♪ ♪48557
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