All language subtitles for Loudermilk.S01E03.Youre.Only.as.Sick.as.Your.Secrets.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H265-SiGMA

I need help.

I can offer you help.

And a place to stay.

That ain't happening.

You should let her
crash here.
What?

Show that you can be
a good guy,

you'll win some points
with Allison.

If I got a copy
of your book,

would you at least
sign it for me?

You stay clean for 36 hours,
the sofa's yours.

Deal.

Yeah.

I gotta use the bathroom.

Just a second.

Look what I found
behind the toilet.

I'm sorry.

Sorry doesn't cut it, man.

You were supposed
to watch her.

You ever hear of
a vision quest?

Don't leave me out here,
you son of a bitch!

I'm leaving.
Fuck you both.

So when did you have
your last drink?

Thirty-six hours?

You made it.

Uh, who are you again?

I'm Carl.
Uh, Allison's boyfriend.

Yeah.

Enjoy your frittata.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Hey, maybe
you guys can--

Can you settle a bet
for me?

Sure.

I got a buddy
who says Gettysburg

was more deadly than
Appomattox, okay?

Now, I tried
to tell him that

despite its prevalence
in the cultural mindscape,

Gettysburg's actually
the less deadly of the two.

Am I right?

How would we know?

Well, 'cause you're Civil War
re-enactors, right?

I mean, there's no reason--

There's no reason
to have beards

like that
in this day and age.

We're not Civil War
re-enactors.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I saw the itchy
flannel shirts, and I--

Are-are you lumberjacks?

No.

Time-travelers.

You're time-travelers.

We're musicians, asshole.

Well, I hope
the band is called:

The Time-Traveling Lumberjacks
of the Confederacy.

Fuck you.

That is a pretty good
band name.

You're welcome.

I-I was just thinking,
have you ever said a word

over and over, and then,
it starts to sound weird?

There are a lot
of words like that.

Towel.

Towel.

Towel? I dry off
with a towel?

Sponge.

Sponge.

Squeegee.

Squeegee...

Hm. It's all
bathroom products, huh?

Cunt-fart's another one.

Cunt-fart.

Cunt-fart. Cunt-fart.

After a while, it just starts
to lose its meaning.

Actually, not to be
a stickler here,

but "cunt-fart"
is two words.

It has a dash.

Cunt, dash, fart.

Yep, found the Harvard man.

Actually, the word
I was thinking of was,

uh, um, "daughter."

Daughter.

Daughter, daughter.

See what I mean?

Okay, so why are
you thinking

- of the word "daughter"?
- I don't know.

It just pops into my head
this time of year.

And maybe 'cause next week's
my daughter's birthday.

Yeah, that-that might have
something to do with it.

I didn't know
you had a daughter.

What is a cunt-fart
anyway?

It can't be gas,
right?

No. It's air.

Like, this one time,
I was having sex with Wyatt

when he was on some kind of,
like, herbal Viagra.

Let's just say he was pushing
a lot of air up there.

Okay, thank you,
Kate Middleton.

I think we ought to focus
on Mugsy's thing.

I wanna hear more
about her thing.

Mugsy, what, uh--

You gonna see your daughter
for her birthday?

No.

No, no, no.

I-I haven't seen her
in years.

How come?

Well, back when my old lady
and me got divorced,

my daughter--

There it is.
Dau-- Daughter.

Daughter. Anyway,
my daughter, Latte,

uh, she didn't
like spending time

with me on the weekends.

Then, one time,
she and her friends,

they wanted to go to
a Hannah Montana concert.

She told me that
was more important

than being with her dad.

Uh, little star-fucker, huh?

Heh-heh-heh.

No. That's gross.

So, anyway, um,
I said:

"No, it's my day,
and you can see

Hannah Montana
any time you want."

So she got pissed,

and she said I was ruining
her life, and that, uh,

she didn't wanna
see me anymore.

So that was it.

That was it?

Yeah, that was it.

Pretty strong words,
wouldn't you say?

No, teenagers
say shit like that.

Listen, I-I-I would've
accepted it

if it came from a teenager.

She was only 10.

You haven't seen her
since she was 10?

No. She made her choice,

and I'm just honoring
her wishes.

You know?
Like a-a good father does.

Jesus Christ, Mugsy.

Kids say dumb shit
like that, okay?

You gotta-- You gotta
reach out to her.

No. As far as I'm concerned,
ball's in her court.

I'm here if she needs me.

She definitely needs you.

Well, whatever.

It's too late now.

She's 18. All grown up.

No, you're supposed
to be the grownup,

you dumb fuck.

Now, come on,
you're somebody's father.

You start acting like one.

You know, Hannah Montana
doesn't even exist anymore.

She's turned into
some kind of sex gremlin.

Isn't it a shame?
Everybody changes.

Bruce Jenner's a chick.

Cute little Chastity Bono

turned into that singer
from Smashmouth.

Hey, where you get that
herbal Viagra, anyway?

In any gas station.

Goes by the name of
"Nature's Rod."

Hey, Eddie, you sure you're
in the right group?

What day is it?

Shouldn't be
too hard to find

a 17-year-old girl
named "Latte."

By the way,
what kind of maniac

names his daughter,
"Latte"?

What is he, manager
of Starbucks or something?

From what I know about Mugsy,
she's lucky her name's not

"Quaalude"
or "Hash Oil."

"Hash Oil," though,

that'd be
a pretty cute name,

like Popeye
and Olive Oyl.

They have a stoner daughter
named "Hash Oil"

who smokes all
of Popeye's spinach--

Oh, here she is.

That's her Faux Friends
page. Mm-hm.

How are you just able
to do that?

How are you not?

Can't believe
how ignorant you are

when it comes to
the Internet.

Well, it's like,
I don't--

You know, I'm not
a fan of the thing

that destroyed
the music industry.

Feel like I'm sleeping
with the enemy now.

Well, as long as
you're sleeping with somebody.

You remember that movie?

Hello. Hey, you.

No. Well, no, I--

I don't know that
I could right now.

Huh.

Look at her.
She's adorable.

Mugsy's a fucking idiot.

Hey, you know,
I gotta go.

We're in the middle
of something.

Talk to you soon.
Bye. Okay.

Yeah, I don't know
how somebody

goes eight years
without talking

to their own kid.

See if you can figure out
where she lives

or how I can get
in touch with her.

And, uh, oh, do we have
any more cranberry juice?

Stop drinking
cranberry juice.

You love
cranberry juice.

No. No.
I love vodka.

I drink the cranberry juice,
so I can pretend I taste vodka.

Allison, hi.

Hi. I made meatballs,
but Carl surprised me

with a trip to Gozzer
for the weekend.

So you guys
want them?

- Aw, that's very sweet.
- Absolutely. Thanks.

I don't have to share them
with fuckface, do I?

Uh, it might
be nice.

Okay, but I'm
in charge of them.

Okay.
Come on in.

Am I interrupting, or--?

Nah, no, no.

I was just
helping Loudermilk

find a girl online.

Oh.

How's that going?
Terrific. We found her.

She's a little...

young, no?

Yep. She's 17,

but she's got
a birthday coming up.

Hey, you think
she still likes Miley Cyrus?

Might loosen her up if I brought
her an album or someth--

Hey.

What are-- What are
you doing here?

I, um, I just dropped by
some meatballs, so--

Yeah, I'm-- I gotta--
I gotta go.

Oh.

Well, thanks.
That's-- That's, uh--

Oh. She brought meatballs.

Yeah, but I'm
in charge of them.

That's nice of her, right?

She comes over, drops off
meatballs, and leaves.

She's, like, the perfect woman.

Ha-ha-ha.
Hello.

Who? No, you got
the wrong number.

Oh, it's perfectly fine.
Ha-ha-ha.

Okay, you, too. Bye.

You two would make
an adorable couple,

and I know
you're both single.

Shut your mouth,
Loudermilk.

Mrs. Wilkes
stopped by to see

if you've been
making any progress

with her daughter,
Claire.

Actually, yeah,
she, uh, she opened up

at the last meeting.

Oh? What did she say?

Did she give you
any indication

of why she
dropped out of school?

Yeah, I don't--
I don't talk about

what's said in the room.

But she did open up?

I just told you
she opened up.

The other day she called me
a B-I-T-C-H.

Well, don't take it
personally.

She's just lashing out.

No, that was a good thing.

She used to call me
the C-word and the F-word.

A couple of times,
she even called me the N-word.

So she's getting better?

Alphabetically speaking.

I'd love to know what
triggered this.

I know it was more
than her father dying.

Well, why don't you
fucking ask her?

Loudermilk.

What?

Why does every conversation

with you have to
turn ugly?

You asked me to help
your daughter,

not hump your leg.

There's a thing called
accountability,

and you need
to open up an account.

You don't know me,

and you don't know
what I've been through.

All right. I'll look into it.

What a cocksucker.

Yeah.

All right,
so last week,

we touched on some
very heavy stuff

about fathers and daughters,
which I'm sure,

hit home for
a lot of us, right?

Come on. Really?

I took you down a very
emotional road last time,

and now, you're all
sitting here on your hands,

with your mouths shut.

Except Roger.

What does
that tell me?

You, uh, suck at this?

Tells me that nobody's doing
the work in here but me.

What are you talking about?

We're all working
very hard in here.

Yeah? H-how hard
do you work?

Did you reach out
to your daughter?

There's no point.

She doesn't wanna see me.

And even if
she did wanna see me,

there'd-there-- I--

There would be no way
for me to find her.

Yeah, bullshit.

I found her in two minutes
on the Internet.

She lives 20 minutes
from here,

and goes to school
right down the street.

She's a cutie.

She volunteers
at a homeless shelter?

Yeah.

Oh, so maybe she's not
just a star-fucker.

That's good.
That's good.

Gonna be there
on Saturday.

In fact, I think

it's a perfect
opportunity

for you to
re-introduce yourself.

What? What do y--?

You mean,
just show up there?

And do what?

Talk to her.
Tell her you're her dad.

Tell her you're sorry.
Tell her you miss her.

You were wrong.

I-I wasn't wrong.

That was my day.

That was not
Hannah Montana's day.

Yeah, but you let that

ruin the relationship,

and that was wrong.

No.

- I can't.
- Why not?

Because
he's a pussy.

Heh, heh.

Do you know
how wrong it is

to have a daughter

and simply choose
not to speak to her

for eight years?

I lost my dad,
and it hurts every day.

Don't you know
how important it is

for a girl
to have her dad,

even a piece-of-shit dad
like you?

Hey, you think I wanted
any of this to happen?

Then fix it, dickhead.

Grow some balls,
and go down there,

and see your little girl.

Yeah, and-and say what?

Well, now, maybe Claire
could help you with that.

Because I'm sure
she probably understands

a little bit about
how your daughter feels.

Yeah?

Fuck it.
I'll go with you.

Mugsy?

Okay.

And you say
I suck at this.

Well, you know.

Come on. Jesus.

This is kind of
a shitty place

for my daughter
to be hanging out.

Be proud of her.

She's a young woman

who wants to
make a difference.

And you got to
have a good woman.

Sound strategy.
Thank you.

This-- This
is fucked up.

These guys all seem
so lost and broken.

Except for that guy.

That guy's not, like,
mentally-ill homeless.

He's like
bass-player homeless.

You know what these guys are,
is quitters.

That's a little harsh.

No, they're
lousy fucking quitters.

Life gives them
a nut-punch, sure,

but instead of digging in
and fighting back,

they just roll over and let it
define who they're gonna be

for the rest
of their lives.

Didn't you quit
being a music journalist?

There she is.

Where?

All right,
now, come on.

Hey, hey, come on.
Come on, come on.

Latte?

Sam Loudermilk, and I think
you know who this guy is.

Hey.

I'm your father.

You wanna t-tell her
why you're here?

Why? 'Cause you're homeless?

Homeless? No.

Jesus, do I look
like I'm homeless?

A little.

No.

Listen, I was thinking,

if you'd like,

I-I-I'd like
to see you again.

I know it's been
a long time,

but I was thinking if,
you know,

we could just get to know
each other a little bit.

If that something
you're comfortable with.

This is weird.

Mom would never tell me
where you were. So...

I kind of thought
maybe you were dead.

Well, you know,
in a way, I was.

Mm. Mm. Yes,
but he's not dead.

All right? I mean,
you're lucky in that, Latte.

A lot of people,
they lose their father,

and he never comes back.

Your dad was gone,
but here he is.

He-he's back from the dead.

He's like--
He's like--

He's like E.T.
in the cooler, right?

I don't know what that is.

E.T.

The "Home-- Phone home."

Oh, man. I've been
a horrible dad.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I know you got
a lot of anger,

but I was thinking
maybe we could, uh,

start with
an ice-cream cone,

and put all of this
behind us.

Yeah, because that would
make everything all better.

Okay, look,

I accept your apology,

but it doesn't change
the fact

that you walked out
on your nine kids.

What? You had nine kids?

Seven. The twins
weren't born yet.

Jesus Christ.

If it's any consolation,

the pain you caused me

made me wanna help
other people in pain.

So I am a better person today
because you left us.

Man.

And all this time,

I was thinking
I did the wrong thing.

Let's get out of here.

Affinity, communication,

and an empathy
for the human condition

is what binds us
and keeps a soul in wonder.

Two things.
Don't touch me,

and I think
you pissed your jammies.

I like you.

Ah, good guy.
I like that guy.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

He fucking ditches out
on nine kids?

Well, seven, because
the twins weren't--

Jesus Christ.

My dad was
a great guy,

and this piece of shit
gets to live.

Yeah, well, hey.

You don't know what
was going on in his life.

All right? He's an addict.

That's the answer
right there.

Fucking Latte.

She gets the shit-end
of the stick,

and she turns it
into a candy cane.

And look at me.

I get every break
in the world,

and now I'm just
some homeless junkie

that sleeps on
some asshole's couch.

You know, Ben's doing
the best he can.

You know.

All right, let's-let's, uh,
go for a walk, all right?

No, this way, come on.

You know, I bet
if your dad was here,

you'd probably tell him
what was bothering you.

Of course, I'd be shitting
my pants in horror

'cause he's been dead
for six months.

But he's not here.

I am.

What's eating at you?

Nothing's eating at me.

And if there was,
I wouldn't tell you.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Little help?

Uh.

Yeah, sure.

What are you doing?

What?

Go throw with the guy.

What? Why?

What do you mean, why?

Look at him. He doesn't have
anybody to play with.

Come on, come on,
you'll get along great together.

It's not my fault
he doesn't have any friends.

Maybe he's a dick.

He's not a dick. That guy--
Look at him. Look at him.

He doesn't even know
how to be a dick.

Get out there. Come on.

Okay.

Fine.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Oh. Ha, ha.

♪ Ooh, ooh

Charlie,
that's high enough.

Ah, quit your bitching.

Oh, my God.

It's like I'm at
the Cirque du Soleil.

Hey, I got some, uh, stale
gummy fish if anybody wants.

Crazy stale.

Kind of like eating
birthday candles. Here.

Thank you. I gotta go.

I hope to
see you around.

All right, yeah.

Bye, Claire.

Bye.

Nice to see you.

What do you know?
You're dating again.

BTDUBS,
we're out of bologna.

Uh, well, FYI,
we would have some

if you didn't
E-A-T it all.

But look how much time

we're saving
by verbally texting.

LMFAO.

I got some meatballs
that Allison brought over.

Do they taste
like unrequited love?

Ha-ha-ha.

I think I got you
finally figured out, Claire.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Feels to me like
you've lost somebody.

And that's
what's got you down.

And I don't
just mean your dad.

I know that's
a big piece of it.

And I certainly don't mean,
what's-his-name, uh, Pigpen.

Wyatt.

Uh. No, I'm--

Thinking it's somebody else.

Like, somebody
you had feelings for.

Yeah? Am I right?

Somebody at school?

Another student, maybe?
No.

Is it a teacher?

Oh, man.

Yeah, and then,
that went south,

and that's why
you quit school.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

Professor Crane and I,
we just--

We bonded over books.

Mm.

And then, it was lunch.

And then, it was dinner.

And then, it was...

More.

Um, and then,
it was over.

It was just--
It was the first time

in a long time
that I had felt

seen, and...

heard, and...

Connected?

It's affinity
and communication--

--and an empathy
for the human condition--

--that binds us all,
and keeps a soul in wonder.

What's that from?

Uh.

Fuck if I know.

So why, uh,
why did it end?

Because, um...

It had run its course.

For her.

Oh.

A-all right.

How did you know?

Oh, I-- You know, I just--
I had a hunch, you know?

Got a gut feeling.
Took a stab at it.

Gotta give you credit.

You're good at what you do,
Loudermilk.

Mm.

Oh, hey, if
this is Allison,

can you tell her that
the girl on the computer

is Mugsy's daughter?

Mm-hm.

Think she bought it?

What the fuck
are you doing here?

You owe me money.

I gave you
20 bucks yesterday.

I gave it to Claire
for cigarettes.

Twenty dollars
for cigarettes?

And plus,
she show me her tits.

That's your problem,
Charlie.

I didn't tell you
to do that.

Besides, she probably
would have showed you for free.

Nuh-uh. I asked.

You didn't even tell me
the professor was a woman.

I don't see gender.

By the way,
Claire's a horrible fisherman.

What are you talking about?

She had hooks stuck
in her tits, man.

All right, all right.
Here's 20 bucks, all right?

Just go. Okay?

Charlie,
the bill is good.

Come on, get out of here.
Meatballs are ready.

Hey, can you tell Charlie
that we don't have his Frisbee?

Yeah, no, you had it when
you were leaving,

remember? And--

You're a real piece
of shit.

You set me up.

You paid this little asshole
to talk to me.

No.
Yes, you did.

Well, you had to talk
to somebody.

You tricked me again.

Well, if
it ain't broke.

Look.

The important thing
is that the truth is out.

Okay? It's like
Van Morrison said:

"It's all part
of the healing game."

You know what? Fuck you,

and your stupid old-man
rock lyrics.

Fuck.

You like meatballs?

I have Down's Syndrome.

Of course,
I love fucking meatballs.

All right, come on.

Hey, you think Allison,
uh, heard Claire

yelling at me last night?

I think they probably
heard that in Spokane.

Ha-ha-ha. Hello?

Oh, goddamn. No, no, no.
I have had it with that.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Every time
you answer the phone,

you do this stupid fake-ass
laugh as you pick it up.

That's-- What?
No, I don't.

No, here's you
on the phone.

"Ha-ha-ha. Hello."

No, I don't do that.
You do! Absolutely.

You do it every time.

It drives me fucking crazy.

Okay, I think you're
exaggerating a bit, Sam.

Oh, let's call.
Let's call.

I wanna hear your
answering-machine message.

Come on.
No, let's listen.

Because you could be watching

Schindler's List at a funeral,

all right,
and if the phone goes off,

you turn into the fucking
Pillsbury Doughboy.

Here we go.
Hello.

Ha-ha-ha.
This is Ben.

Ha-ha-ha.
Leave a message,

and I'll get back
to you, okay? Ha-ha-ha.

Okay. So let's talk about
how that went down.

You're obviously
at a comedy club, right?

Billy Burr's in town.
He's fucking killing it.

You're laughing your ass off.

And you say, "I'm gonna record
my outgoing message. Ha-ha-ha."

Yeah?
No, I don't think so. No.

No? That's not how it happens?
No. No. No.

Well, what the fuck is it,
then, okay?

Is it you just want
the whole world to think

you're living in
the middle of a laugh riot

or something?
That's bullshit.

I live with you.
That's bullshit.

Okay, I'm an addict.

Heaven forbid, people hear
me laugh on the phone.

I mean, is it so bad for people
to think I'm happy?

What people are
you trying to fool?

Are you trying to fool
somebody out there,

or are you trying
to fool yourself?

So I have a laugh on the phone.
Whatever. Big deal.

It's not just me, okay.

A lot of people
are talking about this.

What do you mean
a lot of people are talking?

If people are talking,
how come I've never heard it?

Well, maybe only a true friend
would, uh, point it out to you.

Oh, well. Hopefully, this is
a real friend calling right now.

Ha, ha, hello?
I have a problem.

♪ When I told my friends
About him ♪

♪ They all were
On my side ♪

♪ But I could see
Through the haze ♪

♪ He looked so crazy

♪ I put my head right down
And I cried ♪

♪ Slow down, cry

♪ My poor lover

♪ Cried like a mother
For my poor lover ♪