Original subtitles

[Roxy Music's "Love is the Drug" playing]

♪ It ain't no big thing ♪

♪ To wait for the bell to ring ♪

[chattering and laughing]

♪ It ain't no big thing ♪

[toilet flushes]

♪ The toll of the bell ♪

♪ Aggravated ♪

♪ Spare for days ♪

♪ I troll downtown ♪

♪ The red light place ♪

♪ Jump up, bubble up ♪

♪ What's in store? ♪

♪ Love is the drug And I need to score ♪

[Irina] "To escape, you need to firmly know not where you are running,

but from where."

[man 1] Is it Pelevin?

[Irina] Might be. Which book exactly?

Omon Ra?

[Irina] Aim higher.

[man 1] Buddha's Little Finger!

-Right? -Yeah, right!

[man 2] Have you read it?

-What? -Buddha's Little Finger by Pelevin.

Yes, I know about Pelevin but I haven't read it yet.

It's on my list. Definitely.

-[man 1] Next! -[Irina] Who's next?

My turn.

"Only parts of us will ever touch only parts of others."

-[man 3] Wow! -[Irina] Right?

Yes? No? Don't know?

Anna Akhmatova?

Pretty close.

It's pronounced Akhmatova.

[all laughing]

[Irina] Pretty, pretty, pretty close.

Now in the original language.

[in English] "Only parts of us will ever touch only the parts of others."

[in Russian] Yes? No? Don't know?

Marilyn Monroe.

[all laughing]

PETROGLYPHS OF MURMANSK

[footsteps approaching]

[knocking on door]

Is everything okay?

Yes. Everything's okay.

Come. I want to introduce you to my former professor.

Let's go.

I'll be right over.

[people laughing nearby]

Let me introduce my Finnish friend to you.

-Nice to meet you. -[man 1] Hello.

She is leaving Moscow tomorrow

to the Murmansk Region to see the petroglyphs.

[man 1] That's really amazing.

Irina is talking about petroglyphs all the time.

Not only me, you were also impressed by them.

Yes, of course.

I'm really excited to go there and see the petroglyphs.

[man 2] Do you study archeology?

No, but I'd like to.

I came here to study the language,

but then I met Irina and--

It's a natural need. It's important for us to know where we come from.

Yes.

It's easier to understand the present if you know the past. Right?

Right.

[Irina] My friends! My friends!

I'd like to raise a toast to my lovely Finnish friend

who is traveling tomorrow far away to the north, to the Arctic,

to see the petroglyphs. Hey!

Here's to you, my dear!

May this journey be unforgettable for you!

-Okay? -Thanks.

[man] Yay!

[Irina] Let me take a picture of you all.

Sit down. Come sit here.

Who is she?

Irina's "lodger."

[Irina] Sit down, please. Come on!

[laughs]

[in English] Three!

[all cheering]

[in Russian] And now!

-[pop music playing on speakers] -There!

Let's dance.

[Irina] I am sorry I had to cancel my trip.

But it was not my decision.

[Laura] It's okay.

[laughs]

Have your passports ready.

There's no rush. I have all the time in the world.

I'm sorry. I do have a passport. It was here, but--

Here.

You both are heading to Murmansk.

No spitting on the floor.

Keep the bathrooms clean.

Enjoy your journey.

Thanks.

[man] Are you done?

No.

We're closing.

We're closing.

[Ljoha] Hey!

I thought you would never come.

What's wrong?

Is it your first time on a train, huh?

No.

Hey!

Look! Hey!

Film it! Look at this snowstorm.

Come on! Hey!

Come here.

Get down here.

Come on!

You've got a camera. Come on.

Come here. Film it.

Down. All right.

A fucking great snowstorm.

Come on, turn it on.

Look!

Wow! Russia is a great country.

We--

We beat the Nazis.

The moon, we went there!

You know, we-- You know--

Listen. What do you--?

What do you have in Estonia that we don't have here?

What?

Not a fucking thing!

How do you say--?

I'm from Finland.

-What? -I'm from Finland.

I don't give a fuck. How do you say it in Finnish?

How do you say "hi"?

How?

-It's "Hei." -Hei!

Got it? Hei!

Hei!

"Hei" it is--

It's--

Bye!

I mean, "Bye. See you!"

How do you say, "Bye-bye"? "Goodbye"?

-"Hei hei." -Shit!

Fuck me! Really? "Hei hei"?

This is like "Hei hei!"

Shit. This sounds so stupid.

In Russian we have many words for...

snow!

Snowstorm and blizzard!

Whiteout. It's when-- Whiteout!

It's when--

How do you say--? Look.

How do you say...

"I love you"?

It's "Haista vittu."

-What? -Haista vittu.

That's it!

All right.

You--

Haista vittu.

-Got it? -Something like that.

Haista vittu.

So you got it? All right.

So tell me. What are you doing on the train alone?

Selling your cunt?

I don't understand what you're trying to say.

I mean "pussy."

You're selling it?

You're selling...

your pussy?

Fuck! You--

Oh, shit! Fuck me! Ouch!

I can't stay in there.

-I can't sleep-- -Can't you?

You think you have a choice?

Are you serious?

[chattering]

You break it, then put it together.

-What are you doing? -I'm putting a yellow one in.

Excuse me. Are these free?

No, both are taken. They've gone to the dining car.

Don't you have a ticket?

[people speaking indistinctly]

[woman] St. Petersburg! Get up!

Get up! St. Petersburg!

[violin music playing nearby]

Excuse me.

Excuse me. When is the next train to Moscow?

In an hour.

Thanks.

-[Irina] Hello? -Hi, it's me.

Oh, hi!

I'm in St. Petersburg.

In St. Pete's? Why?

Don't tell me you're coming back already?

Hello?

No, of course not.

It's just...

the train stays here for a while and I saw a phone so--

I'll be right there.

I see. So how are you? Are your compartment mates okay?

They're on the table.

Well, not exactly. He's a bit weird.

Just a second.

You are never alone, are you?

What are you saying?

Hello?

I have to get back on the train.

-[Irina speaking indistinctly] -[man chuckles]

I see. I have to go too. I'm glad you're fine.

Enjoy the trip. It'll be great.

-Thank you. -Bye.

Hey, lad. I told you the place was taken.

Come on. Get down.

[train brakes release]

Here. Have a tangerine.

[baby crying]

You think I'm a thief?

What?

Why did you take your backpack with you? So that I wouldn't steal it?

No.

I just didn't plan to get back on the train.

So why did you?

[knock on door]

[shouts, then laughs]

Fuck!

-Here's your salad. -Thank you.

-Are you ready to order? -[Ljoha] I'm fucking not.

You look so serious all the time.

You'll get old too soon and be all covered with wrinkles.

Thank you. I know.

Just saying.

So you're heading to Murmansk?

What for?

To sell my cunt.

I'm going to see the petroglyphs.

What are these...petroglyphs?

Petroglyphs. Rock paintings.

Not a clue. What are they? What's so special about them?

They're 10,000 years old.

And?

I study archeology at the university. It's interesting to me.

So you'll look at them, these drawings,

and then what?

Well, I think we have to know where we come from.

If--

Well, it's a natural need for human beings.

It's easier to understand the present if you know the past.

That means you're taking this train,

fuck, to that shithole just to look...

Unbelievable.

Fuck.

And you? Why are you going there?

To work, for fuck's sake.

What's your job?

You've heard of Olenegorsk GOK?

What is GOK?

Well...

GOK is a mining and processing combine.

Shit. It's a huge mine.

You know.

Are you a builder?

Oh, screw it. Okay, a builder.

You know, it's just to make some dough.

I'm saving for my own company.

For a company?

Well, yeah. For an office.

For business.

What kind of business?

Fuck. Just business.

So do you have a boyfriend?

Yes.

What's his name?

What does it matter?

-Finnish? -No, Russian.

And what does he do?

He is a professor of literature.

A professor.

-Excuse me. May we sit here? -[Laura] Yes. Sure.

-Who's sitting near the window? -Me!

[mother] Sit down. And you sit here.

-You're a foreigner, right? -Yes. I'm from Finland.

-A tourist? -No, I'm not a tourist.

I'm studying archeology at Moscow University--

Excuse me. Is the salad good?

-Yes, really good. -All right.

[Ljoha] Can I pass?

-I'm off. Oh, sorry. -Sorry.

We didn't notice your friend.

No, we are not friends, just sharing the same compartment.

[mother] So, what are you having? Pancakes with jam?

You'll have pancakes.

-So pancakes with jam for everybody? -Yes!

-Right. -Strawberry jam!

-Strawberry jam! -[mother] Right.

-And a salad. -[girl] Yes.

-Goodbye. -Have a nice day.

Have a nice day.

Irina, my love...

greetings from...

From...

I don't know where. But...

there is a...

an old lady...

pickles...

another old lady.

And that's...

my neighbor.

He sleeps there.

This should be your bed...

your pillow...

your stuff...

your sock.

[Ljoha clears throat]

-What are you going to do in Petrozavodsk? -What?

You know this train stops at Petrozavodsk for the night?

I know.

Will you go out to the city?

No.

I'll go to bed.

Awesome idea.

Think about it.

I'm going to visit a friend there.

You can join me if you like.

No, thanks.

But why not?

You will like her.

You like old stuff, and she is really old.

Like that thing of yours.

-The petroglyphs. -Yeah, the petroglyphs.

And who is she?

Your mom?

She's better than a mom.

Anyway, I'm not interested.

So?

You sure you want to spend the night on the train?

Or at the station?

Yes.

You're so fucking boring.

She's got moonshine.

And an old Russian stove!

And a cat!

A babushka, a cat, and a stove.

Has she got a balalaika?

No, no balalaika.

I'm not going if there's no balalaika.

Good night!

Screw you.

[phone line ringing]

Come out already.

Get out.

[Laura] Mm?

What "Mm?"

You're not talking to anyone. I know.

Look, have a heart finally.

[Laura] Please.

[banging on glass]

[man] Hey!

What's the problem?

She won't get off the phone, but she's not talking to anyone.

-[line continues ringing] -Hello?

It's me. I'm here in... Petroskoi.

-Are you coming to pick me up? -So now she is talking.

-Great. -I need a phone too.

Fuck off, asshole!

Why so rude?

[line disconnects]

-Is everything okay? -Yeah, everything's fine.

This is your last chance. Are you coming?

Let's go. I have everything fixed there.

Okay, let's roll!

Where did you get the car?

I have connections.

Just to keep me awake.

Where are we going?

To Yuri Gagarin.

That's Yuri.

[Ljoha] I've brought some stuff.

It's in the kitchen.

-Good evening. -You too. Be well.

[cat meowing]

[woman] I'll teach you some statistics.

I can count the population of Ireland,

and you'll see there are more people in Ireland than in China.

-But how? -It's simple.

If we consider only redheaded people...

as human beings.

-[Ljoha] Why? -Just because I want it this way.

I'll count only redheads as people.

There are lots of redheads in Ireland but none in China.

She's redheaded too.

-So she will be counted too. -You're counted as a human being.

There.

Okay. I'll go and have a rest.

-[woman] Go. -And you keep talking.

Women...

are very clever animals, indeed.

There is a small animal inside each woman.

You have to learn to live with it and trust it.

Do what your inner self tells you.

Do not listen to your mom, dad, daughter or husband.

-Right. -Women are very clever animals.

I was lucky to learn to trust my inner self when I was 15.

And I've lived with it happily for 43 years.

I do what it says.

-To... -[Laura] Uh...

[woman] Love?

-Do you want to toast love? I don't know. -[woman] No.

Oh, my!

No, let's drink to something more concrete.

-Yes. -Now I know.

Let's drink to you.

That is right. Just look.

Let's drink to you.

Firstly, I hate moonshine.

But as I agreed to drinking it instead of vodka,

let's make the most of it.

-Here's to you. -All right.

I hope you get everything you wish in life.

To your inner animal. Let's drink.

It tastes really bad.

[clock chiming]

[ax striking outside]

Shit.

Fuck.

[groans]

[ax continues striking]

Hi.

We need to go.

You've found a good man for yourself.

-Yes. -That's it.

-Bye. -Bye.

You think I'm a bad guy?

Well, I only know what I've seen.

[engine starts]

What have you seen?

[Russian ballad playing on radio]

Home at last.

What's the news?

News from Finland.

A Finnish man was arrested

for cursing in a public place.

A foreign tourist...

traveling to Murmansk...

has gone missing.

She was probably

kidnapped and eaten by the Murmansk mafia.

-Is that really in the paper? -Yeah.

Can I have a look?

No.

[both laughing]

-I'll get some tea. You want some? -No.

[woman] This is not your car. You need a different car.

You have a ticket for third class.

And this is second class. Do you understand?

-I don't understand Russian. -[woman] I can't--

[woman] Look, I can't let you in. You are in the wrong car.

God! You need a different car.

[Laura] Can I have a tea bag?

-Are you cold? -Yes.

Thanks.

Go away, or I'll kick you out.

-Oh, for heaven's sake. -Okay, okay.

[in Finnish] Are you perhaps from Finland?

[in Finnish] Yeah. Hi.

Can you help me? I don't know if I'm on the right train.

Murmansk?

Yeah. I didn't understand a fucking thing she said.

I'll be getting off before Murmansk.

-You don't have a compartment? -No.

Well, you can come to ours.

There's this Russian guy and me.

Oh, cool.

So you play guitar?

Yeah, a little.

[man, in Russian] Hi.

How are you?

Ljoha.

[man] Aloha.

[in English] Nice bag.

It's a cool bag, leather bag.

[man, in Russian] Okay, then.

[man vocalizing]

[in Finnish] Have you been traveling a long time?

[in Finnish] A couple of months.

Alone?

Mostly, yeah.

Do you ever feel... alone?

Well, I don't know.

Everyone's alone.

[man resumes playing and vocalizing]

[door closes]

[singing in English] I feel it in my fingers

I feel it in my toes

Love is all around me

So the feeling grows

It's written in the wind

[woman over PA] Please immediately leave the tracks, sir.

How long does the train stay here?

Forty minutes. You can go out if you like.

I'll go outside.

I'll come with you.

[Laura] Is everything okay?

It looked like it hurt.

What?

You fell down on the track.

I did not fall on the track.

I saw you slipping.

I didn't slip.

We're going for a walk. Want to go with us?

It sucks.

-What? -This place is dead.

Okay. See you.

[man] Goodbye.

It looked like he had a situation.

[dog barking]

[barking continues]

[music and chattering inside]

Hi.

You need something?

I'm not sure.

-Drink with us. -The dog came here and so did we.

-Hi. -[man 1] Fucking fate, eh?

[man 2] Come on.

Should we get going? My toes are pretty frozen.

[man 1] Here, take it.

How much?

-[man 1] Take what you can get. -What?

[man 1] Go ahead. Take it.

Russian alcohol.

-[Laura] Thanks. -It's a gift.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

-Thank you. -Welcome.

-Bye. -Thanks. Cheers.

[man 1] Cheers.

[Laura] I've brought you something.

Fuck off.

What did he say?

Uh, he said...

he's not thirsty.

[man] There must be a factory around here where they make guys like him.

Right?

[train brakes release]

Thanks.

Bye.

[woman] Get back on the train.

We're leaving soon.

-Can I smoke inside? -No.

Please.

Come in.

Thank you.

What's wrong?

My camera.

What happened?

Fuck.

What's with the camera?

He took my camera.

That asshole.

You mean he stole it?

Yes.

I had my whole Moscow trip on that tape.

All humans should be killed.

[Ljoha] So, what was it like?

[Laura] What?

[Ljoha] Moscow on the tape.

[Laura] People.

Parties.

Apartments.

Laughter.

Music.

I loved it all,

and now I've lost it.

So, what about the boyfriend?

My boyfriend's name is Irina.

She is the most beautiful person I've ever met.

We...

were supposed to do this trip together,

but she had to work.

And I went, anyway.

I don't know why.

She has a beautiful life

and a beautiful apartment,

like in books.

I wanted so badly to be a part of that life too,

to be a part of that apartment.

Tell me about that apartment.

It's got...

old, beautiful hardwood floors...

high ceilings...

and drawings on the walls.

Patterns,

like paper on the wall.

Wallpaper, eh?

-Wallpaper. -Wallpaper, right.

And...

old furniture that's been in the family for many years.

On weekends, we used to take long walks.

Sometimes, we visited museums.

In the evenings, people would come over.

We drank, laughed...

and talked.

Cool.

I thought I would miss her more,

but honestly...

I just miss the way she used to look at me.

I'm a terrible person. I should be killed.

All right, then.

Murmansk is close.

Let's celebrate.

How? Where?

What do you mean where?

In the restaurant car, of course.

Let's go.

[chattering]

Right.

-Well... -[man] How can I help you?

We don't need help, we need food, so...

Go ahead.

-Champagne and... -Right.

chicken with potatoes.

-Great! -Ran out of it.

Okay, then we'll have salmon.

No salmon either. It's the end of the route.

Well, what do you have? Caviar?

Let me check. Just a minute.

I'm sorry you had to put up with me for the whole trip.

I've had worse, you know.

We can make some sandwiches with cheese and sausage.

No warm food. Sorry.

We'll have sandwiches then.

Bring it all here. Go ahead!

So, let's...

Let's drink!

Damn it. I can't drink this shit. I'll be right back.

Just a second, one second.

Right.

This will do?

You know, look...

Okay.

Right. Thank you. Give it to me.

Here it is! Just look at it!

Now everything's in order, as it should be.

That's better.

Right. Okay.

Let's drink to...

that thingy.

What's it called?

-Drawings. -Petroglyphs.

Right! To the petroglyphs!

Yes. To the petroglyphs!

What's wrong?

-Everything's fine. -Don't like it, do you?

Fine? Then let's have another round.

[clears throat]

Let's drink to...

What's that?

Here, take it.

What is it?

-Is this me? -Yes.

Looks like me, really.

You can draw me too.

No, no! No way! I don't know how to do it.

Don't expect too much.

-Shit... -Can I see?

Well...

-Fuck it. -Can I see, please?

There's nothing to see. It's not good.

Okay...

Write me your address.

-So we'll be best friends? -Well, just in case.

-No need to do that. -What, exactly?

No need to do any of this.

Why not?

You never know what fate holds in store.

No...

No, I don't want it. It's a stupid idea.

-But... -Enough of this crap.

Your sandwiches.

Shit.

Thanks.

Is everything okay?

Yes. Everything is just perfect.

Thank you.

[crossing bell ringing]

-We have arrived. -Yes.

Here.

I'm afraid nothing is booked in your name.

I think the booking was made by Irina Mezhinskaya.

-Yes. And where's Ms. Mezhinskaya? -She's not coming.

Why?

Just because.

All right.

Bye. Have a good stay.

-[clerk] They burned the sofa. -Assholes!

Hello again.

-Do you have a question? -Yes.

I came here to see the petroglyphs. You know about them?

Yes, I know.

But I'm not exactly sure where they are and how to get there.

Can you help me to find a tour guide or something?

-Just a second. -Where? There's no way.

-Car? -Are you kidding? It'll get stuck there.

I'm afraid it's not possible at the moment.

-But why not? -Come back in summer.

No, excuse me, but I know for sure that it's possible.

-My friend-- -How?

With a road like that? There's no road to that place.

Offer her a different tour.

But we have other things to offer.

The Murmansk hero-city tour is very interesting and exciting.

Have a look.

Thank you.

...from 1941 to 1945 with minimal casualties,

and provided coverage of the city and direction of the civilian population.

The Germans were ready to...

-[Laura] Hi! -[man] Hello.

-[Laura] I'm looking for a tour guide. -A tour guide?

Yes. I want to see... this.

-A tour guide. -You know it?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, you can't get there.

Why?

You just can't go there. And where are you from?

Finland.

Oh, I see. That's why you don't know. You can't get there by car in winter.

Well...

is there any other way?

No idea. I guess scientists get there by helicopter.

Archeologists, if you're an archeologist.

[dialing]

[line ringing]

[woman speaking indistinctly]

[phone line continues ringing]

[Irina] Hello?

Hello?

[Laura] Hi, it's me.

Oh, hi. How are you?

How's Murmansk?

-Have you seen the petroglyphs? -No.

Everyone says it's impossible to get there in winter.

It is too far. There is no road.

Everything seems to be too far away.

[Irina] I'm sorry to hear that.

But there are other interesting things to see here too.

I'm sure there are.

Look, I have to go. Anything else you wanted to tell me?

[Laura] What time is it there?

[Irina] What do you mean?

Moscow time is the same as in Murmansk.

[Laura] Ah, yes. Of course it is.

-Look, I have to go. Okay? -Okay.

Okay. Bye!

-Bye. -Bye-bye!

[pop music playing on headphones]

-Can I take these? -Yes.

[pop music continues]

[speaking indistinctly]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello. It's the receptionist. There's someone waiting for you.

-Bye. -Thank you. Yes.

Hi.

Okay, let's go.

Where?

To look at that crap.

But they told me it is impossible.

Oh! They are lazy bastards, you know.

All right. I need my coat.

-Right. -Come on.

Get in.

He'll take us there.

Nice to meet you.

[Russian pop music playing]

[train horn blaring]

-[Ljoha] Hi, guys. -[man] Hey!

So, listen up.

We're heading to...What's it called?

-The petroglyphs. -The petroglyphs.

-Heard of it? -[man] Yeah.

As far as I get it, the only way there now is--

By water, but there's a gale warning.

I see. But it won't take us long, just there and back, you know.

She has come from...

-Finland. -From Finland.

Across the whole country just to have a look at them, the petroglyphs.

-[man] Really? -[Ljoha] Yeah, really.

[Laura] Yes.

-You want to go by sea? -[Ljoha] Yes, by sea!

-No one will go by sea now. -[Ljoha] Why?

It's not safe, goddamn it!

Just yesterday, a boat was washed fucking ashore.

And the wind had come just the day before.

You want another one today?

I'm not asking you to go to the Arctic Ocean, for fuck's sake!

Just go out and move along the shore. Is it hard?

Money is not a problem. I'll pay you! Cut the shit, guys.

-[man] Where? -[Ljoha] The fucking petroglyphs!

The fuck I know where. Tell me where.

[Ljoha] For fuck's sake!

-I know where. -[Ljoha] He knows!

I do.

-Then we'll go with you. -Well, I don't know...

-[Ljoha] Look. Stop whining... -Ljoha. Ljoha.

[Ljoha & men speaking indistinctly]

Ljoha, Ljoha.

-We don't need to do this. -[Ljoha] Okay, let's go!

It's all fixed!

[horn wailing]

That's it?

That's it.

Have you seen Titanic?

Yes.

We are like them now.

We're gonna die soon too?

Well, Rose didn't die.

She did in the end.

Later at some point.

[horn wailing]

[door opens]

-[driver] Back to the hotel? -Yes.

[driver] Music?

[Russian pop music playing]

This is from Ljoha.

HAISTA VITTU

[Desireless' "Voyage, Voyage" playing]

Translated by: Jan Joseff Genduso