All language subtitles for Ghosts.S02E11.WEBRip.x264-ION10

FLOWER:
Ooh. What's going on?

Jay and Sam are interviewing
potential assistants.

So far,
it's been a bunch of duds.

I blame child labor laws.

How are people supposed
to get experience

when they're wasting
their youth in schools?

Oh. Cornell University School
of Hotel Administration.

And three years working
at the St. Regis Midtown.

This is very impressive,Freddie.

JAY:
Mm, yeah.

I just have one question
for you.

You're at the airport.

A gunman is using a hostage
for cover.

What do you do?

Ignore him.

Look, you seem
very qualified,

and no offense-- mainly to us--
but why do you want this job?

Well, I'm from the area,
and I moved back recently

to be near family.

And it's always been my dream
to have my own B&B, so I thought

why not learn from the best?

[chuckles]
The best?

What fool would buy
this malarkey?

The best. That's... [laughs]

Wow.

Look, I read that rave

about you guys
in Sipprlast month.

You're doing something right
here at Woodstone,

and I just want
to be a part of that.

And, Jay, you shoot the hostage.

Speedis the perfect movie,

and Mr. Keanu Reeves
is a national treasure.

You're hired.

I think Jay's in love.

Oh. So am I. [laughs]

What?
So... am I...

officially offering you the job?

I think I am! [laughs]

Wow! [laughs]

What an interesting way
of phrasing that.

So am I accepting the offer?
You betcha.

[laughter]

So Sam and Jay
picked a third?

Sure.

♪ ♪

THORFINN:
Bjorn! Everything okay?

BJORN:
I'm having situation
with other ghost.

It's embarrassing!

Son! Tell me
what troubles you!

I'm getting bullied.

What?!

Bullied!

[laughs]
I'm sorry,

but it sound like you say
"bullied," which is impossible.

Because you are mighty Viking.

Who could bully mighty Viking?

Oh, my God. Are you whining
to your daddy?

No!

Daddy,

the mean 50s housewife
is being mean to me. Wah!

That your bully?!

But she is... tiny woman!No.

She normal size woman,
just tiny 'cause you far away.

That was not
Thor's main issue with it.

I don't understand.

The gentleman hired to be Sam
and Jay's new assistant

just left his companion out here
to wait in his vehicle. Hmm.

I wonder if she's
his girlfriend.

No way.
She's way too hot for him.

[chuckles]Oh, my God.

Thank you.You can see us?

Yeah, I'm a ghost.

Ooh!

Hey, y'all.

I'm Jessica. How's it going?

Hold on. What is happening?
Where did you come from?

Uh, I'm a car ghost.

What's a car ghost?

I died in a car accident,

so now I'm bound to this car.

Well, this car and about...

One, two, three, four...

This car and about
a five-foot border.

This is quite vexing.

You simply go
wherever the vehicle goes?

Yeah, but it's not bad,
for being dead.

Um, Freddie does food delivery,
so I get to see the world

and smell the smells.

Does he deliver pizzas?

All... the... time.

Ooh.[hiccups]

[laughs]
Sorry. I died buzzed.

I was coming from a bottomless
mimosa brunch with my bitches.

Bottomless alcoholic beverages?

How does such an establishment
stay in business?

Oh, well,
they water the drinks down,

but, you know, if you drink
twice as many... [laughs]

Aah! Always forget
about my head wound.

So, this is where we keep
the stapler and the stamps

and the little reception bell
that we had to put away

'cause Jay can't walk by it
without ringing it.

Uh, you gonna
wrap this up soon?

We got an afternoon walk.

This is the guest book.

Hello?

Samantha, after our walk,

will you open the curtain
in my room?

I have plans to stare pensively
for several hours.

Hello?

She's still ignoring us.

Well, this is untenable.

How long
can this situation continue?

Yeah, Sam. How often is
this guy going to be here?

Freddie, I thought
I should let you know

your hours are going to be 10:00
to 6:00 Tuesday through Sunday.

What?!If it's okay with you,
I'll be in early and leave late.

That's not okay with us!

Indeed. It's one thing when
she must refrain from responding

during brief interactions
with the guests,

lest she appear deranged.

But all day, every day?

That we cannot abide.

Freddie, you know,
I'm going to take a walk

around the grounds
to stretch my legs.

Ooh, I'll come with you.

Would love to familiarize myself
with the grounds

so I could
better help the guests.

Oh, get a damn life, Freddie!

[scoffs]

So Bjorn's being bullied

by one of the other ghosts
at the Farnsby's?

Normally, I would counsel Bjorn
to destroy enemy with violence,

but can't do that
with woman, and,

also, violence not affect ghost.

Being father to adult ghost
baby son... very complicated.

I hear you, buddy.

Fatherhood.
It's not easy.

But there's some good news.

There's a simple solution
to Bjorn's problems.

All he has to do
is use his words.

Interesting.

Use words
to inflict emotional violence.

I like.

No, that's not what I meant.
I meant to communicate.

You know?
Talk to the bully,

tell her how her words
are affecting Bjorn.

Or let her know how dumb
her face looks. [laughs]

I don't think
that's what Pete's saying, Thor.

Yes, but is better
than what Pete is saying,

and comes from Pete's idea.

Thor "yes and" Pete.

Okay, do not use improv
for evil.

That is the first rule
of improv.

I thought
the first rule was

always support
your scene partner.Yes.

Okay, love that you guys are
listening, but, Thor, please.

Bullying back
is not the solution.

Yes, and... it is!

[laughs]
All right.

Off to counsel Bjorn on how
to continue cycle of violence.

Good talk!

But probably one
of the best classes

I took was
Beverage Management.

Samantha, you have to see this!
There's a car ghost!

Oh, my God!

Is that a... Toyota?

You don't see those every day.

Really? I think they're
literally the most popular car.

She's bound to the car.

We've never seen
anything like it!

Freddie, would you mind
covering the desk for a bit?

Sure thing, boss.

This is the Living we were
telling you about.Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.Hi. I'm Sam.

So, you live in Freddie's car?
That's interesting.

He seems like
a really great guy.

Oh, yeah, he's so great.

And you're his new boss, right?

Yeah, we interviewed
a bunch of people,

but he really
blew us away.

[laughs]
To be honest,

I can't believe
he took the job.Yeah.

He's the best. Although,
um, if he's working here,

there is one thing that I feel
like you should know.

Oh, what?Um, he killed me.

I-I'm sorry, what?
Freddie killed you?

I thought you said
you died in a car accident.

Yeah. A hit-and-run.
It was really sad.

Well, Freddie doesn't seem
like the kind of guy

who'd just drive away.

Are you sure
he realized he hit you?

Well, I flew
through the windshield

and then he dumped my body
in the woods,

so, yeah, I think he noticed.

But I hear he types,

like, a hundred words a minute,

so, that's cool for you.

How did this happen?Um, I was at brunch

with my bitches.

Uh, we got kicked out because

my bestie Lindsey puked
all over the waitress.

This is a vivid retelling.And

I was walking across the street.

Next thing I know, boom,
I'm getting hit by a car

and flying through a windshield.

Well, you look great
for a victim

of blunt force head trauma.

Oh, you're sweet. [laughs]

I need to talk to Jay.

You really know your way
around that whetstone.

Oh, I'm just here
to support your genius

and allow you to concentrate on
that beautiful crème anglaise.

Oh, my God,
he's got a knife!

[gasping]And Jay has a spoon!

Uh, Jay, can I talk to you
in the hallway for a second?

Yeah, sure.
Freddie, can you...?

Stir for three minutes
then remove from heat?

This guy. He's killing it.

Oh, you have no idea.

JAY:
What is it, babe?

Jay,

Freddie killed someone
in a hit-and-run,

and was never caught.What?

How do you know this?

Because the ghost of that
person, a woman named Jessica,

lives in Freddie's SUV,

which is currently parked
in our driveway.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This dead Jessica lady just goes
wherever the car goes?

Jay, that's not
the key point here.

It is fascinating, though.

What are you doing?Adding this to my Ghost Notes.

This is huge. So,
is the actual car the boundary,

or does it extend to,
like, a perimeter?

Oh.I don't know!

Boundary unknown.

S-So, what do we do?
Do we call the cops?

Yes, yes, call the authorities!

And tell them what? A ghost
told us Freddie's a murderer?

Yeah, that doesn't sound great.

At the very least,
you must fire Freddie.

The ghosts are saying
we need to fire Freddie.

I mean, if he actually did that,

that's really bad.

Yeah.Cut and dried.

Give him the heave-ho!It will mean

a return
to slightly more work

for the two of you,
but you'll be able

to speak freely
to us once again,

which is a trade-off
I, for one, am willing to make.

He was just

such a good assistant.The best.

Oh, Lord, here comes
the rationalizing.

The truth is, anybody could
have done what he did.

Yeah. You know,
I ran over a cone

in that grocery store
parking lot,

and that could have been
a tiny orange person.

Totally.

Oh, for God's sake.

You cannot simply overlook
the fact that he killed someone

just because

he knows how
to fold a towel into a swan.

But we probably would have
stopped and reported it.

Also, Jessica did
sort of mention

that Freddie dumped her body
in the woods.

Ooh, that's hard to get past.

I mean,
that's a string of decisions.

We have to get rid of him,
don't we?

[whispers]:Yeah.

Hey, Jay, just wanted
to let you know

I went ahead
and created a digital backup

of all your recipe cards.

The archive
is searchable

by flavor profile, protein type
and country of origin.

Of course it is.

Father?!

Father!

Hey, Bjorn, I'm Pete!

I'm a good friend

of your dad's!

Let me go get him for you,

okay?!

Actually, if you don't mind me
asking, h-how's that bullying

situation going?

He told you?! How embarrassing!

Oh, no, don't be embarrassed.

I-I was bullied constantly
as a kid.

My mom says it was

'cause I was special
and the other kids were jealous,

which was not true,
but comforting nonetheless.

Father says I should be mean to
Judy, but it doesn't feel right!

Here's the thing, Bjorn!

Your dad means well, but
that doesn't necessarily mean

that's the best advice
to follow!

Well, what is best advice?!

I think just
communicate honestly!

Tell her how her behavior
is making you feel!

What do you think
you're doing?

Thor, I was just
looking for you.

I-I was just
coming to get you

because B-Bjorn was
looking for you.

No, you weren't.

You're trying to replace me
as father to my Baby Bjorn!

No, no, not at all.

You say I shouldn't
listen to father?!

Pete, is that right?

Not now, Bjorn!Okay!

Just want to be clear. You say

listen to you
and not my father.

He's-he's joking.
He's a funny kid.

We talk after Housewives.

Why are you doing this?

I thought
everything was working out.

It's just not
the right fit.

Is this because
of the Diet Coke I took?

Jay said I could help myself.

Yes, it is the Diet Coke.

You did something unforgiveable,

and I hope
it keeps you up at night.

So what's it gonna be
for you and Freddie now?

Guess we're gonna go back to the
open road and food deliveries.

Well, that works out
pretty well for you.

We get our Samantha back, so,
seems like everybody wins. Hmm.

What's going on?

Oh, uh, Sam and Jay
are getting rid

of Freddie,
cause, you know, the murdering.

Oh. So, I guess that means
you're going to be...

Leaving, yeah.
I know it sucks, but, um,

maybe we'll still
see each other, you know,

if like your Livings, like,
order a burrito or something.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally.

I just feel like I didn't really
get a chance to know you.

Like, do you have a ghost power?

Um, well, kind of.
I can set off the car alarm.

Whoa. How?

I have the keys.
Here, I'll show you.

[car alarm blares]

Oh!Oh. Ooh, wow.

[laughter]

Wait.

Why do you have the keys
to this car?

What?

Well, you said you got hit

when you were walking
across the street.

Yes, isn't this Freddie's car?

Uh... yeah.

[laughs]
Okay.

Can totally see where

you guys are getting confused.

See, what happened was,
after I was hit,

I flew through
the windshield,

and the force of the accident
made Freddie's keys

fly up and land in my pocket.

Mm, that does not make
any sense at all, my dear.

Mm-mm.No.

Okay, you know what? [scoffs]

I'm too buzzed
to pull off these lies.

Uh, Freddie didn't kill me.[all gasping]

I was driving the car,
and I ran into a telephone pole,

which came out of nowhere.

And Freddie bought the car used
a few years ago.

So, that means Samantha is
firing that poor young man

for no reason.

Well, we need to tell her.No!

Please don't, okay?

I miss the open road,

and the smell
of chicken tikka masala

wafting through the car.

That's why I lied--
just to get back to that life.

Let's not forget,
with Freddie out of the picture,

we do get Sam
all to ourselves.True.

But at what cost, guys?

What about this poor guy,
accused of a terrible crime,

about to lose his job
for no reason?

Please, Sass, for me?

Yeah, okay.

Oh, there you go.[door closes]

Mom, hey, listen, I got fired.

I know it's just
been one day.

I don't want to talk about it.
I'll pick up some Arby's?

Because that's what I do now,
Mom-- pick up food.

[crying]:
That's all I'm good for.

Oh, yes!

Arby's Horsey Sauce, baby!
[laughs]

[crying]

We're doing the right thing.

A sauce made from horses.

I'm so sorry,
Mrs. Greenstein.

I didn't see the note
about your kosher meal.

Oy gevalt!Oy gevalt!

We have a new system, and
I'm still getting used to it.

The toilet paper triangles
won't stay, Sam.

They won't stay!

I'm kind of drowning here.

Freddie installed
all these new systems,

and he didn't get a chance
to walk me through them.

This isn't good.

The sounds of Freddie crying
and phoning in that Arby's order

are going to haunt me
for a long, long time.

Stay strong, my friends.

Oh, before I forget, we need

to cancel our dinner
reservation tomorrow night.

Our date night? I was really
looking forward to that.

What is this?
Date night?

It's a thing that modern couples
do to reconnect.

We were gonna go out
for a nice dinner.

It's been months,
but with Freddie not here,

somebody has to stay
for the guests.

Stupid murderer.

Okay. I can't do this.
We have to tell Sam

that Freddie didn't
kill anyone.

That we know about!

Ugh. All right, fine.

Samantha, funny story.

Turns out Freddie didn't
actually kill the car ghost.

What?!

Jessica was driving
and got in an accident.

ISAAC:
After brunch

with her bitches,

which, apparently,
is a term of endearment.

The point is,
Freddie didn't kill her.

Why would you lie to me?!

ISAAC:
We never actually lied.

It was more of a sin
of omission,

if one wanted
to get technical.

ALBERTA:
We missed you!

With Freddie around,
you were ignoring us.

We didn't want to share you.

[laughs]
If you think about it,

it's actually very sweet.

Feel free to "aw"
if you're so moved.

SAMANTHA:
Guys, one of the reasons

that we were getting
an assistant was to free us up.

Yes, there was a breaking-in
period, but eventually,

I would have been
more available.

That was not
communicated clearly.

Jay, we need
to get Freddie back.

Yes! I completely agree.

Who cares
if the guy killed somebody?

He can organize the hell
out of a pantry.

What?! No. No,
Freddie didn't kill anyone.

The car ghost
was lying.

Even better.
Let's get the bastard back.

[scoffs]"Bastard" is a term
of endearment?

What has become
of the lexicon?

FLOWER:
Hey, Thor, what's up?

Housewivesover.

Now why do you go
behind Thor's back?!

I think
Pete just wanted to help, Thor.

Like an uncle.

That's what uncles do.

They give you advice
and buy you weed,

and stare too long
at your friends.

Do you think Thor bad father?

And that you better father

because you actually got
to be father?

No, no, not at all.

I-I just understand what Bjorn
is going through, okay?

Yeah. I know. I heard.

You were bullied, too.

But that doesn't excuse.

No. I-I... I mean, because...

my dad was a lot like you,

Thor-- a distant tough guy...

Thank you.

...who pushed me to solve
my problems through aggression,

and I hated it

because I wasn't
that kind of kid.

But your father was
trying to help you.

But he wasn't listening to me.

I-I didn't want
to fight fire with fire.

I-I just wanted a dad
who accepted me

and understood who I was.

Thor have idea.

Maybe Thor accept Bjorn,

let Bjorn be who he is.

So, kind of just what I said?

It's slightly different.

Okay. Just glad
you got there.

Ah...Ooh, what's all this?

It's a pile of burritos.

[doorbell rings]Freddie isn't responding

to any Sam and Jay's
calls and texts.

So, Samantha and Jay
are repeatedly

placing orders in the hopes

that one of them
shall be delivered by Freddie,

thus allowing them
to apologize and win him back.

ISAAC:
Unfortunately,
drivers other than Freddie

keep appearing, which has led
to this comical, yet aromatic,

mountain of burritos.[door closes]

Damn it.
That wasn't Freddie, either.

Sam, what are you going
to do with all of these?

Well, have a safe trip home,
Mrs. Greenstein.

And enjoy your complimentary
kosher veggie burrito.

Jay, this is getting
very expensive.

Maybe we should just
throw in the towel.

Here's your burrito.

Hey! Freddie!

What are the odds?!

I didn't even want to come.

I just need
to keep my rating high

since this is my only form
of income right now.

I threw in a Diet Coke
so now we're even.

My God, the drama.

Wait. Freddie?

Look, we, uh...

we overreacted,
and we're sorry.

JAY:
We're-we're not
used to being bosses.

But-but I've gotten
a chance to sleep on it,

and, you're right--
it was just a Diet Coke.

That you said I could have.

Freddie, we could go round
and round on this thing,

but you know what?
The point is, we want you back.

Wait.

Did you order, like, 50 burritos
just to talk to me?

Yes. Yes, we did.

But you guys are, like, broke.

Okay, every tenth one was free.

That is... so sweet.

[laughs]
Crazy,

but sweet.

So, does this mean
you're coming back?

I want three of those burritos.

Push that leverage, young man.
Gouge 'em!

You got it.

Well, then, you guys got
yourself a new old assistant.

[laughter]Oh, Freddie's back.

I think I'll just go outside
for some fresh air.

Ah, I'll come with you.

Please don't.Ooh!

Don't get poked by that glass

sticking out of her forehead
if you kiss her!

THORFINN:
Bjorn, I was wrong to try

to make you do things my way.

From now on, I listen

and accept you
for who you are, my son!

I'm so happy
to hear that, Father!

And good news--
it went really well.

Turns out, Judy only bully
because she have crush on me.

[laughs]
Yes, my boy!

How was the sex?

We haven't done that yet,
Father.Right.

Because we have not
had the talk yet.

So,

you know how sword
go into sheath?

He's fathered children, Thor.

I think he knows
how it works.

With Dane, maybe,
but with person, different.

Just let him have
his moment, Pete.Okay.

So, your body is going
through lots of changes.

This is good!

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