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1
00:00:45,704 --> 00:01:08,393
[BEEPlNG]
2
00:01:24,743 --> 00:01:26,035
[GUNFlRE]
3
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,331
Yeah, baby.
4
00:02:30,642 --> 00:02:33,686
Hi, l'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
5
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:40,443
l may just be a small-town
FBl agent-slash-single mother...
6
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,529
...but l'm still tough and sexy.
7
00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:48,701
Well, Miss Normous, shall we shag now...
8
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,119
...or shag later?
9
00:02:50,287 --> 00:02:53,372
Oh, Austin, behave.
10
00:02:57,503 --> 00:02:59,170
Hey, Powers.
11
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,173
You better watch your frigging self...
12
00:03:02,341 --> 00:03:06,761
...because this is one doctor
who does make house calls.
13
00:03:09,973 --> 00:03:11,974
Right, Mini Me?
14
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:14,393
Hey, assholes.
15
00:03:16,688 --> 00:03:20,900
l'm right over here. l'm Mini Me.
Come and get me.
16
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,405
[BOTH LAUGHlNG MANlACALLY]
17
00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:30,076
MAN 1:
And cut.
18
00:03:30,327 --> 00:03:32,078
That's a cut, everybody.
19
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,288
MAN 2:
Moving on. Check the gate, please.
20
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,086
So, Austin, what'd you think
of the opening credits?
21
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,421
Well, I can't believe
Sir Steven Spielberg...
22
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,924
...the grooviest filmmaker
in the history of cinema...
23
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:48,094
...is making a movie about my life.
24
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,638
Very shagadelic, baby. Yeah.
25
00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:52,473
[LAUGHS]
26
00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:55,935
Having said that,
l do have some thoughts.
27
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,603
SPlELBERG:
RealIy?
28
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:01,524
Uh, my friend here
thinks it's fine the way it is.
29
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,693
Well, no offense, Sir Stevie...
30
00:04:03,861 --> 00:04:07,697
...but you've got to have mojo, baby.
Yeah.
31
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,448
Hit it.
32
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,617
["SOUL BOSSA NOVA" PLAYlNG]
33
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,955
[PANTS]
34
00:05:19,311 --> 00:05:21,520
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Quincy Jones.
35
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,692
Yeah.
36
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:33,407
This is where the movie
gets its mojo, baby.
37
00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:35,785
Groovy, yes.
38
00:05:49,132 --> 00:05:51,342
MAN:
Quiet, everybody. Music video, take two.
39
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:53,177
lt's Britney Spears.
40
00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:56,013
[SPEARS SlNGlNG "BOYS"]
41
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:42,601
[GROWLS]
42
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:49,900
Oops, I did it again, baby. Yeah.
43
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,161
[CHEERlNG]
44
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,288
WOMAN:
l love you!
45
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,802
Yeah.
46
00:07:35,238 --> 00:07:37,782
Welcome back, Herr Doctor.
How was space?
47
00:07:37,949 --> 00:07:40,785
Space was cool. Wasn't it, Mini Me?
48
00:07:40,952 --> 00:07:42,578
-Mm-hm.
-Yeah.
49
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:44,747
Dr. Evil, while you were in space...
50
00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:48,501
...l created a way for us to make
huge sums of legitimate money...
51
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:52,254
...and still maintain the ethics
and the business practices...
52
00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:54,256
...of an evil organization.
53
00:07:54,424 --> 00:07:58,844
l have turned us into a talent agency:
The Hollywood Talent Agency.
54
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:02,014
-Really?
-By charging A-list clients 9 percent...
55
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,601
...rather than the traditional 10 percent,
we've been able to sign such stars...
56
00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:07,311
-...as George Clooney...
-Ooh.
57
00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:09,188
TWO: ...Julia Roberts...
-Hey.
58
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,940
...and Leo DiCaprio.
59
00:08:11,108 --> 00:08:12,441
[WHlSPERS]
Leo.
60
00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:17,363
And the best part of the whole scheme
is we aIl get our own assistants.
61
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,365
Hi, l'm Number Three.
62
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,325
[YELLS]
Whoa!
63
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:24,620
l'm really excited to be part of the team
here at HTA.
64
00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:26,455
Very impressive, Number Two...
65
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:30,543
...but I finally have the perfect plan.
66
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,338
ln the '70s, there lived
a Dutch metallurgicaI hedonist...
67
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:36,006
...by the name of Johann van der Smut.
68
00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:37,216
[YAWNS]
69
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,551
He loved gold so much...
70
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:42,012
...he even lost his genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
71
00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,098
Hence the name...
72
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,641
...GoIdmember.
73
00:08:45,809 --> 00:08:46,851
[SNORlNG]
74
00:08:47,018 --> 00:08:48,978
He invented a cold-fusion power unit...
75
00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:52,064
...for a "tractor beam"--
76
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,817
"Tractor beam"...
77
00:08:55,026 --> 00:08:57,361
...powerful enough
to pull a meteor to Earth.
78
00:08:57,529 --> 00:08:58,988
The meteor was called...
79
00:08:59,614 --> 00:09:01,907
..."Midas 22."
80
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,076
lt's made of solid gold.
81
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,703
[WHlSPERS]
ls he sleeping?
82
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,580
Well, that's okay.
83
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,290
l guess Mini Me won't get any...
84
00:09:09,457 --> 00:09:11,125
[YELLS]
...chocolate!
85
00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:12,877
[LAUGHS]
86
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:16,255
You want down, Mini Me?
Use your words like a big boy clone.
87
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:18,340
[MlNl ME GRUNTS]
88
00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:21,677
He's okay.
89
00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:24,930
Here's the chocolate.
90
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,267
lt's from Bruges. That's in BeIgium.
91
00:09:28,476 --> 00:09:30,644
That's where Daddy's from. Yeah.
92
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,939
[BOTH LAUGH]
93
00:09:35,317 --> 00:09:36,775
Check out Mini Me.
94
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:40,613
Yeah. He's gone mental
on account of the chocolate.
95
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,449
lt's like fricking catnip for clones.
96
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,827
-Your chair, Dr. Evil.
-Thank you.
97
00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:48,621
Whoa!
98
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,626
[SPEAKS GlBBERlSH]
99
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:00,966
Thanks. Skedaddle. Right.
100
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,718
You know, when you have kids...
101
00:10:02,886 --> 00:10:05,679
...l think you're gonna find
that all kids are different, eh?
102
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:07,932
[FARBlSSlNA AND EVlL
SPEAKlNG lN GERMAN]
103
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,480
For example, Mini Me loves chocolate.
104
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:15,981
Scotty don't.
105
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,317
-What, I like chocolate fine, I just--
-Scotty don't.
106
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,654
Well, this is very famiIiar. Hang on,
let me do what I do. "Uh, would you stop?"
107
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:22,988
[EVlL MUTTERlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
108
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,490
How about I what?
109
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:26,408
SCOTT:
What are you...?
110
00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:29,328
l don't even-- Honestly, isn't this--?
111
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,039
How about you don't?
Ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't.
112
00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:36,752
Ahem. Dr. Evil, perhaps it's time
that you finished unveiling your plan.
113
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,339
Yes, thank you, Number Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is--
114
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:43,259
-Scotty don't.
-Come on. You're such a lame-ass.
115
00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,427
[SPEAKlNG lN FRENCH]
116
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,682
-Oh.
EVlL: Oh.
117
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:52,393
-Oh.
-Oh.
118
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:53,644
-Yeah.
SCOTT: Oh, this is--
119
00:10:53,812 --> 00:10:56,105
-Yeah, yeah.
SCOTT: Oh, so we're--
120
00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:59,441
You know, this is causing me
serious psychoIogicaI harm.
121
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:01,360
[lMlTATlNG SCOTT]
l don't know. Who am l?
122
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,654
Fine. You know what?
l would love some chocolate.
123
00:11:03,822 --> 00:11:04,989
Here you go.
124
00:11:05,156 --> 00:11:06,824
Thank you. Perfect.
125
00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:10,160
[GROWLlNG]
126
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,623
Heel, Mini Me.
127
00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,375
Heel.
128
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,295
Come on. Got me a marlin. Yeah.
129
00:11:22,173 --> 00:11:23,382
-You okay, Mini Me?
-Mm-hm.
130
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,135
Yeah? Did I pull too hard?
l don't want to hurt you.
131
00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:28,137
-Dr. Evil.
-Yeah?
132
00:11:28,305 --> 00:11:31,056
What does GoIdmember's plan
have to do with us?
133
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,810
Our early attempts at a tractor beam
went through several preparations.
134
00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:39,064
Preparations A through G were a failure.
But now, ladies and gentlemen...
135
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:43,777
...we finally have a working tractor beam
which we shalI call:
136
00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:46,572
"Preparation H."
137
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,115
[CHUCKLES]
138
00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:49,533
What?
139
00:11:49,701 --> 00:11:52,745
Why don't you just call it
"Operation Ass Cream," you ass.
140
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,539
l'm sorry, did you want some ice cream?
141
00:11:55,707 --> 00:11:58,917
Yes. l'd love some chocolate ass cream.
142
00:12:00,211 --> 00:12:01,378
Perhaps later.
143
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:05,049
-Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
-Yeah, eh?
144
00:12:05,216 --> 00:12:08,052
Ja, Herr Doctor, it's a really good plan.
145
00:12:08,219 --> 00:12:11,513
Yes, Frau, on the whole,
l think Preparation H feels good.
146
00:12:11,681 --> 00:12:13,515
[SCOTT LAUGHS]
147
00:12:13,683 --> 00:12:16,643
-What is it now?
-No, nothing. You know what, I agree.
148
00:12:16,811 --> 00:12:21,023
Preparation H does feel good on the hole.
149
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:24,818
Well, l'm glad we're sprechen Sie
the same lingitty, ja.
150
00:12:24,986 --> 00:12:26,236
Ladies and gentlemen...
151
00:12:27,405 --> 00:12:30,783
...using my time machine,
l shaIl travel back to 1975...
152
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,869
...pick up Goldmember
and bring him back to the future.
153
00:12:34,037 --> 00:12:37,122
And the best part of this plan is...
154
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:39,458
...no one can stop me.
155
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,460
Not even...
156
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,004
...Austin Powers.
157
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,799
[LAUGHS MANlACALLY]
158
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:51,804
[ALL LAUGHlNG]
159
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,142
Not so fast.
160
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,228
You're surrounded, Dr. Evil.
161
00:12:59,396 --> 00:13:00,813
[GUNS COCKlNG]
162
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,564
Shit.
163
00:13:03,858 --> 00:13:08,821
Dr. Evil, the World Court
sentences you to 400 years.
164
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,489
Do you have anything to say?
165
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:14,201
No, but I think Mini Me does.
166
00:13:16,746 --> 00:13:17,788
[GASPlNG]
167
00:13:17,956 --> 00:13:19,623
JUDGE:
Order! I will have order!
168
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:22,584
Looks like two eggs in a hanky.
169
00:13:25,422 --> 00:13:28,549
The criminal genius known as Dr. Evil
and his clone...
170
00:13:28,758 --> 00:13:31,051
...were sentenced today
at the World Organization.
171
00:13:31,219 --> 00:13:33,345
For his efforts, Austin Powers...
172
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,556
...son of England's most famous spy,
Nigel Powers...
173
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:39,184
...will be knighted by the queen
at Buckingham Palace.
174
00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:44,356
Arise, Sir Austin Powers.
175
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:46,984
Thank you, Your Majesty.
176
00:13:47,152 --> 00:13:51,363
-Your father must be very proud of you.
-Oh, yeah.
177
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,867
Come on, Dad, stand up and take a bow.
178
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,872
[GUESTS LAUGH]
179
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,498
[WHlSPERS]
Daddy?
180
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:04,751
Dad?
181
00:14:21,853 --> 00:14:23,520
[SlNGlNG]
Daddy
182
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:28,233
Daddy wasn't there
183
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,238
Daddy
184
00:14:35,158 --> 00:14:37,451
Daddy wasn't there
185
00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:39,912
To take me to the fair
186
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:44,875
It seems he doesn't care
187
00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,752
Daddy wasn't there
188
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,217
When I was first baptized
When I was criticized
189
00:14:53,384 --> 00:14:55,552
When I was ostracized
When I was Jazzercised
190
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,055
Steak and kidney pies
One-hour Martinize
191
00:14:58,223 --> 00:15:00,891
When I was circumcised
192
00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:03,268
Daddy wasn't there
193
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,395
To take me to the fair
194
00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:07,898
To change my underwear
195
00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:10,234
Daddy wasn't there
196
00:15:10,818 --> 00:15:12,194
"Daddy Wasn't There." Peace.
197
00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:14,363
[CHEERlNG]
198
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,615
l am a sexy beast.
199
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,783
[LAUGHlNG]
Yes.
200
00:15:20,578 --> 00:15:22,246
Bangs. Yes, how's it going?
201
00:15:22,413 --> 00:15:24,122
The robot. Haven't seen that in a while.
202
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,419
-lt's Austin Powers! You so funny.
AUSTlN: Well, you know.
203
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:33,006
AIso, very sexiful. Can I have autograph?
204
00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:35,592
Of course. Your name is...?
205
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,302
Fook Mi.
206
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:41,390
Oh, behave, baby. Yes.
207
00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:43,976
-Now, your name is...?
-Fook Mi.
208
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:45,811
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
209
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:50,232
Fook Mi. Like this.
210
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,192
Oh, I see!
211
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,653
Your name is Fook Mi.
212
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:56,989
-You want drink?
-Yes, of course.
213
00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,867
You know, I have a private bar in the back
that you're more than welcome to use--
214
00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,744
Here you go.
215
00:16:02,912 --> 00:16:05,122
Fook Mi, that was fast.
216
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:06,331
Fook Yu.
217
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,667
You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom...
218
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,128
...and I don't care who knows it.
219
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:12,879
Austin.
220
00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:14,673
[STAMMERS]
221
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:18,135
This is my twin sister. Her name Fook Yu.
222
00:16:18,386 --> 00:16:19,803
Fook Yu.
223
00:16:19,971 --> 00:16:21,471
Fook Mi.
224
00:16:21,639 --> 00:16:22,681
See?
225
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,516
Twins. Twins.
226
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,684
[SlSTERS GlGGLlNG]
227
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,853
[lMlTATES SPRAY BOTTLE
AND SQUEEGEE]
228
00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:30,897
Twins. Yes.
229
00:16:31,107 --> 00:16:33,692
We're going to see the twins. Yes.
230
00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:39,990
l also think Austin Powers very sexiful.
231
00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:42,534
We think you are very gravy, baby.
232
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,578
Do we make you sleepy?
233
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:47,539
Well, you make me many things,
but sIeepy's not one of them.
234
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,749
[CHUCKLES]
235
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:50,917
We give you top-secret massage.
236
00:16:51,085 --> 00:16:55,422
Yes, top-secret massage, baby.
237
00:16:58,468 --> 00:16:59,760
Sorry about that.
238
00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:02,512
l swear to God that never happens,
heh-heh-heh.
239
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,556
Yes, hold on a tic.
240
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,350
Okay....
241
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:13,565
Okay. Now, where were we, babies? Yes.
242
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,400
[PURRlNG]
243
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,235
[ELEVATOR DlNGS]
244
00:17:17,695 --> 00:17:20,113
Ah, Austin. l'm sorry to interrupt.
245
00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:22,407
Twins, Basil. Twins.
246
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:25,035
Austin, it's your father.
247
00:17:25,203 --> 00:17:26,244
-Bye-bye.
-What?
248
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:28,080
-Bye.
-He's been kidnapped.
249
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,417
Very heavy, man.
250
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:36,713
Oh. So that's why my father
wasn't at the knighting ceremony.
251
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,298
Well, no, actually.
252
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:41,259
He was kidnapped
after you were knighted.
253
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,636
Ah.
254
00:17:42,804 --> 00:17:44,763
He was Iast seen on his yacht.
255
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,432
Ah, yes, the HMS Shag-at-Sea.
256
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,685
Exactly. Just take a look.
257
00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:51,019
Gentlemen, fall in.
258
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:55,023
Austin, these men were assigned
to guard your father.
259
00:17:55,191 --> 00:17:57,567
Okay, chaps. Chins up, trousers down.
260
00:17:57,735 --> 00:18:00,529
l think we may have found a cIue.
261
00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:06,076
Cor blimey. All your privates
have had their privates painted gold.
262
00:18:06,244 --> 00:18:07,703
How bizarre.
263
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:09,871
lmagine, gilded tallywhackers...
264
00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:13,166
...golden wedding tackle,
14-karat trouser snakes--
265
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,127
-That's enough.
-Okay.
266
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:17,921
Basil, there's only one person
in the world...
267
00:18:18,089 --> 00:18:22,175
...who truly understands
the psychology of a madman.
268
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:25,137
lN UNlSON:
Dr. Evil.
269
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,364
[BEEPlNG]
270
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,911
l've been expecting you, Mr. Powers.
271
00:18:50,079 --> 00:18:51,830
My father is missing.
272
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,666
Yes, I heard. How ironic.
273
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:58,754
You finally caught me,
yet now you need me more than ever.
274
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:02,591
But then again, you've always needed me,
haven't you, Mr. Powers?
275
00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:06,428
Remember when I told you
we're not so different, you and l?
276
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:09,931
We're not so different, you and l.
277
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,768
See? I did say that. Mm-hm.
278
00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,771
Very clever. Now, who has my father?
279
00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:17,189
Uh-oh!
280
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,816
Someone has some daddy issues.
281
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,943
Nothing could be my father from the truth.
282
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,362
Ooh! You said, "my father."
283
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,698
-No, I dadn't.
-Hey-oh!
284
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,116
Didn't. Did not.
285
00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:29,367
She-ba.
286
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,953
-For me, this is a dad issue.
-Ha--
287
00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:33,205
Dead issue. Dead dad.
288
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:36,124
Deadbeat dad. Daddy didn't love me.
289
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:41,421
lt seems the knighting ceremony
wasn't the only time...
290
00:19:41,964 --> 00:19:44,716
...your daddy let you down.
291
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,096
Remember that day at the academy?
292
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:51,932
Think.
293
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:55,477
lt was graduation.
294
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:57,938
[PLAYlNG REVElLLE]
295
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:04,778
AUSTlN: Yeah, baby, yeah.
Do I make you horny, baby?
296
00:20:04,987 --> 00:20:06,571
Oh, yes, that's the spot. Right there.
297
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,115
You're a naughty one. Yes, you are.
298
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:11,368
Hello, vicar. Crikey!
299
00:20:12,286 --> 00:20:14,538
Have you ever heard of knocking, man?
300
00:20:14,705 --> 00:20:16,498
Right.
301
00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,250
We were just getting started.
302
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,126
Bye, love.
303
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:24,172
Don't forget, Master Powers,
later you have a brief oral exam.
304
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:27,467
Well, I hope it's mostly oral and not too...
305
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,804
...brief, baby.
306
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:34,432
You know, "brief" and "oral exam"....
307
00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:38,687
Marks are in, lads.
308
00:20:41,023 --> 00:20:43,358
lt looks like Master Evil
is the top contender...
309
00:20:43,526 --> 00:20:46,111
...for this year's
lnternational Man of Mystery.
310
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,696
He's number one in the class.
311
00:20:47,864 --> 00:20:49,781
Whoop-de-do, Basil.
312
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,868
Hey, everybody, l'm number one.
313
00:20:53,035 --> 00:20:54,202
Who cares?
314
00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:56,705
Hello, l'm Number Two.
315
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:58,623
Nice to meet you, Number Two...
316
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:03,128
...but now l'm going to be named
this year's lnternational Man of Mystery.
317
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,629
Yeah, right.
318
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,798
[LAUGHlNG MANlACALLY]
319
00:21:11,596 --> 00:21:13,013
BOY:
Shut your gob.
320
00:21:13,264 --> 00:21:14,389
Ow!
321
00:21:15,933 --> 00:21:18,310
Who throws a cupcake? HonestIy.
322
00:21:21,606 --> 00:21:24,983
DEAN: And now it's time to award
our greatest honor.
323
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:29,070
This year's lnternational
Man of Mystery is...
324
00:21:29,697 --> 00:21:31,781
...Austin Powers.
325
00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:34,576
Well done, Austin.
326
00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:41,875
DEAN: Jolly good.
MAN 1: Top notch.
327
00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:44,753
MAN 2: We're proud of you.
WOMAN: Very well done, indeed.
328
00:21:46,881 --> 00:21:51,009
lt's aIways been my dream
to win this award, just like my dad.
329
00:21:51,552 --> 00:21:53,178
And l'm glad he could be here.
330
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,639
Stand up, Dad. Take a bow.
331
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,516
[CROWD MURMURlNG]
332
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,355
Dad?
333
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:07,525
Daddy?
334
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:13,365
[WATER TRlCKLlNG]
335
00:22:16,327 --> 00:22:17,369
[TOlLET FLUSHES]
336
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,245
Boo-frickity-hoo.
337
00:22:19,413 --> 00:22:23,041
l had the best grades in the class
and I didn't get diddlysquat.
338
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,627
-Here we go.
-TelI me, Mr. Powers...
339
00:22:25,795 --> 00:22:27,545
...what did you find on those sailors?
340
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:32,217
A golden surprise, perhaps?
341
00:22:32,802 --> 00:22:35,387
How did--? Yes.
342
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:39,557
AIl the sailors had their
meat and two veg painted gold.
343
00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:43,144
Yes, it's the distinctive calling card
of a criminal mastermind.
344
00:22:43,312 --> 00:22:45,438
The aptly named...
345
00:22:46,774 --> 00:22:48,984
...GoIdmember.
346
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,154
How can I find this Goldmember?
347
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,741
Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.
348
00:22:57,493 --> 00:23:00,412
Yes, squid pro row.
349
00:23:01,038 --> 00:23:05,917
l'll give you Goldmember, you give me
a transfer to a regular prison...
350
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:09,671
...so that I could be with
my beloved Mini Me.
351
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,133
Okay, I'll get you a transfer
to a regular prison.
352
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:14,676
Now, where's GoIdmember?
353
00:23:14,844 --> 00:23:17,095
Not where, Mr. Powers...
354
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,680
...but when.
355
00:23:18,848 --> 00:23:23,601
1975. Studio 69 Disco. New York City.
Corner of 69th and 8th.
356
00:23:24,478 --> 00:23:26,187
You go now, Mr. Powers.
357
00:23:26,397 --> 00:23:28,565
Fly, fly.
358
00:23:36,073 --> 00:23:37,824
l'll get it.
359
00:23:44,749 --> 00:23:48,209
lnstead of hiding your father
in some remote location...
360
00:23:48,419 --> 00:23:50,962
...GoIdmember is hiding him in 1975.
361
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:54,424
So our engineers
have crafted this vehicle...
362
00:23:54,592 --> 00:23:56,760
...to time-travel to the '70s.
363
00:23:56,927 --> 00:24:00,472
Smashing, Basil. A pimpmobile.
364
00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:03,641
Oh, yes, yes.
l knew it would tickle your fancy.
365
00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:05,935
What can I say? Look.
366
00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:07,145
Cough.
367
00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:08,563
[COUGHS THEN LAUGHS]
368
00:24:08,731 --> 00:24:11,733
Here we go, 1975.
369
00:24:11,901 --> 00:24:12,984
Good luck, Austin.
370
00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:14,986
1975!
371
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:17,489
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
372
00:24:20,576 --> 00:24:22,577
[STAMMERlNG]
373
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:01,032
[SlNGlNG]
Solid Gold
374
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,161
Solid Gold
375
00:25:05,579 --> 00:25:08,706
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
376
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,584
It's solid gold, baby
377
00:25:14,296 --> 00:25:17,340
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
378
00:25:17,508 --> 00:25:20,510
It's solid gold, baby
379
00:25:20,678 --> 00:25:22,303
Yeah
380
00:25:22,471 --> 00:25:24,556
He's got the Midas touch
381
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:26,349
But he touched it too much
382
00:25:26,517 --> 00:25:30,895
Hey, Goldmember
383
00:25:31,063 --> 00:25:32,897
He's got a golden pad
384
00:25:33,315 --> 00:25:34,983
He's super bad
385
00:25:35,151 --> 00:25:39,571
Hey, Goldmember
386
00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:43,908
Good evening, everybody,
and welcome to Studio 69.
387
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:45,910
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen.
388
00:25:46,078 --> 00:25:49,455
lt's Goldmember!
389
00:25:53,335 --> 00:25:54,377
[LAUGHS]
390
00:25:58,090 --> 00:26:00,967
Hey, everybody, I am from Holland.
391
00:26:01,135 --> 00:26:03,720
lsn't that weird? Yes. Ha, ha.
392
00:26:05,431 --> 00:26:07,348
FOXXY [SlNGlNG]:
He's got the Midas touch
393
00:26:07,516 --> 00:26:09,392
But he touched it too much
394
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,603
SlNGERS: Hey, Goldmember
FOXXY: Yeah
395
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,771
SlNGERS:
Hey, Goldmember
396
00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:15,607
FOXXY:
You're gettin' down tonight
397
00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:17,775
-Ow!
FOXXY: You're dynamite
398
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:19,277
SlNGERS:
Hey, Goldmember
399
00:26:19,445 --> 00:26:22,363
-Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
400
00:26:22,531 --> 00:26:24,616
FOXXY: 'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
SlNGERS: Uh-huh
401
00:26:24,825 --> 00:26:26,784
FOXXY: He likes it, uh-huh
SlNGERS: Uh-huh
402
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:28,953
FOXXY: Goldmember
SlNGERS: Goldmember
403
00:26:29,121 --> 00:26:31,206
FOXXY: He loves it
SlNGERS: He loves it
404
00:26:31,373 --> 00:26:33,374
FOXXY: 'Cause that's the way, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
405
00:26:33,542 --> 00:26:35,293
-He likes it, uh-huh
-Uh-huh
406
00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:37,503
-Goldmember
SlNGERS: Goldmember
407
00:26:37,671 --> 00:26:39,505
FOXXY: He loves it
SlNGERS: He loves it
408
00:26:39,673 --> 00:26:41,716
FOXXY:
He's got the Midas touch
409
00:26:41,884 --> 00:26:43,968
He touched it too much
410
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:45,803
FOXXY & SlNGERS:
Hey, Goldmember
411
00:26:45,971 --> 00:26:47,972
SlNGERS: Hey, Goldmember
-Goldmember
412
00:26:48,140 --> 00:26:50,808
He's from the Netherlands
413
00:26:50,976 --> 00:26:53,144
-It's where he learned to dance
-Hey, Goldmember
414
00:26:53,354 --> 00:26:55,188
-Gold, Goldmember
-Hey, Goldmember
415
00:26:55,356 --> 00:26:57,315
Hey, Goldmember
416
00:26:57,483 --> 00:27:00,193
It's gold, it's gold
It's gold, it's gold
417
00:27:00,402 --> 00:27:03,404
It's solid gold, baby
418
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:06,824
-Goldmember's so solid
SINGERS: It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
419
00:27:06,992 --> 00:27:08,910
It's gold, it's gold, it's gold
420
00:27:09,078 --> 00:27:12,330
-It's gold
-It's solid gold, baby
421
00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:14,832
His member's so gold
422
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,502
Yes, it is, yeah
423
00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:27,804
FOXXY:
Well, if it isn't Austin Powers.
424
00:27:27,972 --> 00:27:29,013
l'm sorry?
425
00:27:29,181 --> 00:27:32,433
FOXXY: You got a lot of nerve
dragging your jive white ass in here.
426
00:27:32,601 --> 00:27:35,019
l don't believe we've met.
427
00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:37,647
lt's me. Foxxy!
428
00:27:37,815 --> 00:27:39,148
Foxxy Cleopatra!
429
00:27:39,566 --> 00:27:41,192
Long time, no see.
430
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,695
-Oh.
-Stop!
431
00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:46,030
We can't be seen talking to each other,
you dig?
432
00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:48,616
l'm using this cat as a distraction.
433
00:27:48,784 --> 00:27:50,368
l get it. Yes, very clever.
434
00:27:51,245 --> 00:27:52,704
First things first.
435
00:27:52,871 --> 00:27:55,707
Ow! Ouch-kabibble!
436
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:59,711
Eight years and no phone call?
Nobody stands up Foxxy Cleopatra!
437
00:27:59,878 --> 00:28:01,212
Where have you been?
438
00:28:01,380 --> 00:28:03,423
Listen, Foxxy.
439
00:28:03,590 --> 00:28:06,801
l just want you to know
l never intended to hurt you, baby.
440
00:28:07,428 --> 00:28:09,721
Well, all I know is...
441
00:28:09,888 --> 00:28:12,432
...Mama only got a taste of honey...
442
00:28:12,599 --> 00:28:15,310
...but she wanted the whole beehive.
443
00:28:16,895 --> 00:28:18,563
Oh, beehive.
444
00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:20,898
[LAUGHlNG]
Yes, "beehive."
445
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:23,318
You always knew how to make me smile.
446
00:28:23,485 --> 00:28:26,404
Well, you know, it's a gift, really. l, um--
447
00:28:26,572 --> 00:28:27,905
Ugh, what am I doing?
448
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:31,075
Foxxy, what are you doing
in Goldmember's club?
449
00:28:32,077 --> 00:28:33,244
FOXXY:
l'm undercover.
450
00:28:33,412 --> 00:28:37,081
About a year ago,
my partner at the bureau was killed.
451
00:28:37,291 --> 00:28:40,752
And that jive-ass turkey GoIdmember
is the prime suspect.
452
00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:42,253
Ow!
453
00:28:43,088 --> 00:28:45,548
Your father's in the back room,
under heavy guard.
454
00:28:45,716 --> 00:28:48,551
-Thanks, Foxxy.
-Austin! Good luck.
455
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,763
[AUSTlN GRUNTlNG]
456
00:28:54,141 --> 00:28:55,475
[MAN PANTlNG]
457
00:29:05,069 --> 00:29:06,277
WOMAN:
Oh!
458
00:29:06,445 --> 00:29:08,279
-Dad!
-Hello, son.
459
00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:11,074
Just overpowering my guards. Heh, heh.
460
00:29:11,241 --> 00:29:13,618
l'm here to rescue you. Come quickly.
461
00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:16,496
l've got a better idea.
Why don't you rescue me in about...
462
00:29:16,663 --> 00:29:18,956
...what, seven or eight minutes, eh?
Ha, ha.
463
00:29:19,124 --> 00:29:22,794
Oh, knock it off.
l don't want to see my dad on the job.
464
00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:23,961
Come on, let's go.
465
00:29:24,129 --> 00:29:26,798
-Okay. l'm sorry. l'm sorry, girls.
GlRLS: No.
466
00:29:26,965 --> 00:29:29,467
l've got to go, it's my boy. Hold on.
467
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:31,469
[GROANS]
468
00:29:31,637 --> 00:29:34,013
-What's wrong with your neck?
-l took a Viagra.
469
00:29:34,181 --> 00:29:36,557
lt got stuck in my throat.
l've had a stiff neck for hours.
470
00:29:36,725 --> 00:29:37,975
lN UNlSON:
l thank you.
471
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:39,352
[ALL LAUGH]
472
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,021
Listen, Dad, if you are gonna
talk about naughty things...
473
00:29:42,189 --> 00:29:43,856
...in front of these American girls...
474
00:29:44,024 --> 00:29:46,109
...then at least speak "English" English.
475
00:29:47,069 --> 00:29:48,694
AIl right, my son.
476
00:29:48,862 --> 00:29:51,489
l couId've had it away
with this cracking Judy, my old china.
477
00:29:51,657 --> 00:29:53,491
Are you telIing pork pies
and a bag of tripe?
478
00:29:53,659 --> 00:29:56,327
Because if you are feeling quiggly,
why not just have a J. Arthur?
479
00:29:56,495 --> 00:29:58,579
-What, Billy No-Mates?
-Too right, youth.
480
00:29:58,747 --> 00:30:01,290
Don't you remember the din-din
with the grotty Scottish bint?
481
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:03,459
Oh, the one that was alI
sixes and sevens?
482
00:30:03,627 --> 00:30:07,088
The trouble and strife of the Morris dancer
that lived up the apples and pears.
483
00:30:07,256 --> 00:30:09,882
Yes, yes, she was the barrister
that became a bobby in a lorry...
484
00:30:10,050 --> 00:30:11,384
[MUMBLlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
485
00:30:11,552 --> 00:30:13,928
...with a Gatling gun
in and above St. Regis...
486
00:30:14,096 --> 00:30:15,221
[lN UNlSON]
...tea kettle.
487
00:30:15,389 --> 00:30:16,597
AUSTlN: Yes.
NlGEL: Then she--
488
00:30:16,765 --> 00:30:19,016
BOTH:
Shat on a turtle.
489
00:30:19,184 --> 00:30:23,020
-Oh, God, we had some good times, eh?
-We had some good times, eh?
490
00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:25,648
-Wonderful times, we had.
-Good times, yeah.
491
00:30:25,816 --> 00:30:29,110
NlGEL:
We had some good, uh...
492
00:30:30,446 --> 00:30:31,487
NlGEL & AUSTlN:
...times.
493
00:30:31,655 --> 00:30:33,865
Welcome to 1975...
494
00:30:34,032 --> 00:30:36,451
...Austin Powers and father.
495
00:30:36,618 --> 00:30:40,371
Excuse me whiIe I change.
The roller boogie has made me sweaty.
496
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,039
Yeah, sweaty.
497
00:30:42,207 --> 00:30:43,833
You see, Mr. Powers...
498
00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:50,590
...l love gold.
499
00:30:50,799 --> 00:30:52,717
The look of it, the taste of it...
500
00:30:52,885 --> 00:30:55,636
...the smelI of it, the texture.
501
00:30:55,804 --> 00:30:57,513
l love gold so much...
502
00:30:57,681 --> 00:31:01,976
...that I even lost my genitalia
in an unfortunate smelting accident.
503
00:31:02,644 --> 00:31:04,562
Hence the name...
504
00:31:04,730 --> 00:31:06,647
...GoIdmember.
505
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,233
[GOLDMEMBER STAMMERS]
506
00:31:14,615 --> 00:31:17,575
We are both swingers, you see? Ha, ha.
507
00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:20,244
You have a tight body. Yes.
508
00:31:20,412 --> 00:31:22,246
l see that from your tight pants.
509
00:31:22,873 --> 00:31:26,042
Yes, you are tight like a tiger.
510
00:31:26,210 --> 00:31:28,377
Would you like a smoke and a pancake?
511
00:31:28,545 --> 00:31:31,422
-A what?
-A smoke and a pancake.
512
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:34,759
You know, flapjack and a cigarette?
Hmm?
513
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:36,928
AIl right. Cigar and a waffle?
514
00:31:37,137 --> 00:31:39,263
No? Pipe and a crepe?
515
00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:42,099
-No? Bong and a blintz?
NlGEL & AUSTlN: No.
516
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:45,228
Ah, welI. Then there is no pIeasing you.
517
00:31:45,395 --> 00:31:47,104
That's not right.
518
00:31:47,272 --> 00:31:50,149
Ooh, hello. What have we here?
519
00:31:50,359 --> 00:31:51,817
That's a keeper. Yes.
520
00:31:51,985 --> 00:31:54,612
Put it in the skin box, please.
With the others.
521
00:31:54,780 --> 00:31:58,115
-l'm peeling.
-Oh, that's just disgusting.
522
00:31:58,283 --> 00:31:59,951
Quickly. Quickly. Thank you.
523
00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:01,285
Save me from myseIf.
524
00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:03,579
You're insane, GoIdmember.
525
00:32:03,747 --> 00:32:05,122
[LAUGHS]
526
00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:07,792
And that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
527
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,294
KC and the Sunshine Band.
528
00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:13,756
AIl right, GoIdmember,
don't play the laughing boy.
529
00:32:13,924 --> 00:32:16,968
There are only two things
l can't stand in this world:
530
00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:21,347
People who are intolerant
of other people's cultures...
531
00:32:21,515 --> 00:32:23,641
-...and the Dutch.
GOLDMEMBER: What?
532
00:32:24,476 --> 00:32:25,893
[BEEPS]
533
00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:28,980
Take the father away.
534
00:32:31,066 --> 00:32:35,570
Dutch-hater. And now, ha, ha,
it is time to say goodbye.
535
00:32:35,737 --> 00:32:37,822
Dr. Evil's orders.
536
00:32:37,990 --> 00:32:41,325
Which for you is bad news, bears.
537
00:32:41,493 --> 00:32:42,577
Walter Matthau.
538
00:32:42,744 --> 00:32:43,995
Shazam.
539
00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:46,706
Up yours, jive turkey.
540
00:32:46,873 --> 00:32:48,666
-Traitor.
-Ugh!
541
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:51,127
Heh-heh-heh. Yes, the gun.
Good, very good.
542
00:32:51,295 --> 00:32:52,837
2002.
543
00:32:54,089 --> 00:32:56,507
They're taking my father
to the time machine.
544
00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:59,552
-The say-what machine?
GOLDMEMBER: Come on, now. Ha, ha.
545
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,262
AUSTlN: No!
-This way, sugar.
546
00:33:11,732 --> 00:33:13,733
That was close, Foxxy. I owe you one.
547
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:17,987
Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office.
lt's a microfiIm. lt may be a clue.
548
00:33:18,155 --> 00:33:20,823
-Smashing.
-l want to go to the future with you.
549
00:33:20,991 --> 00:33:24,035
We can catch Goldmember together.
l owe it to my partner.
550
00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:27,163
l should warn you, Foxxy,
2002 is very different.
551
00:33:27,331 --> 00:33:30,207
Well, heh, the future
better get ready for me.
552
00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:34,629
Because l'm Foxxy Cleopatra
and l'm a whole lot of woman.
553
00:33:34,796 --> 00:33:37,048
[BOTH LAUGH]
554
00:33:37,215 --> 00:33:40,384
2002, here we come.
555
00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:50,811
GUARD [OVER PA]:
All visitations limited to five minutes.
556
00:33:50,979 --> 00:33:53,230
No spitting in the visitors' room.
557
00:33:57,235 --> 00:33:58,736
Herr Doctor...
558
00:33:58,904 --> 00:34:00,571
...l have some news.
559
00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:02,365
-lt's your son.
-Oh.
560
00:34:02,532 --> 00:34:04,408
He wants to take over
the famiIy business.
561
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,911
Scotty does?
562
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,122
Oh, he's gotten so evil,
he has even started Iosing his hair.
563
00:34:10,290 --> 00:34:11,707
l know, it's sweet.
564
00:34:11,875 --> 00:34:14,919
Oh, he just wants to make you proud,
Herr Doctor.
565
00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:17,463
After all, it's hard on the boy
not having a father.
566
00:34:17,631 --> 00:34:21,759
You know, first you were frozen,
then you were in space, now you're in jail.
567
00:34:21,927 --> 00:34:24,553
Well, don't tell me he feels negIected.
568
00:34:24,721 --> 00:34:27,556
l was adopted by fricking Belgians, eh?
569
00:34:27,724 --> 00:34:29,100
You were adopted?
570
00:34:29,267 --> 00:34:31,811
l never met my birth parents.
571
00:34:31,978 --> 00:34:34,271
There was a car accident.
572
00:34:34,523 --> 00:34:37,358
EVlL:
I'm told it was a beautiful Belgian day.
573
00:34:37,526 --> 00:34:41,529
The smell of waffles and Brussels sprouts
filled the summer air...
574
00:34:41,697 --> 00:34:43,364
...until....
575
00:34:44,491 --> 00:34:46,617
My birth mother was incinerated.
576
00:34:46,785 --> 00:34:49,829
l only survived
because her smoking carcass...
577
00:34:49,996 --> 00:34:53,624
...formed a protective cocoon
of slaughtered human effIuence.
578
00:34:53,792 --> 00:34:56,877
EVlL: A Belgian man and his 15-year-old
love slave with webbed feet...
579
00:34:57,045 --> 00:34:58,546
...was looting the accident scene.
580
00:34:58,714 --> 00:35:00,923
They came across a blood-soaked baby,
moi.
581
00:35:01,091 --> 00:35:03,134
EVlL:
They raised me to be evil.
582
00:35:03,301 --> 00:35:06,095
You know, that old chestnut.
583
00:35:06,263 --> 00:35:07,304
[SPEAKS lN GERMAN]
584
00:35:07,472 --> 00:35:10,474
But nothing compares to this,
being inside the belly of the beast...
585
00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:12,768
...night after night, all alone.
586
00:35:12,936 --> 00:35:15,146
Daddy's all pent up. Let's freak!
587
00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:16,647
FARBlSSlNA:
Oh!
588
00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:34,373
Time's up.
589
00:35:34,541 --> 00:35:37,460
GUARD [OVER PA]:
Visiting hours are over. Step to the line.
590
00:35:37,627 --> 00:35:39,253
Cuffs up.
591
00:35:45,093 --> 00:35:46,635
Move it.
592
00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:52,767
Hi, there.
593
00:35:52,934 --> 00:35:54,810
How you sleeping? Good?
594
00:35:57,189 --> 00:36:00,024
Gentlemen, listen up, y'all.
595
00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:02,193
Here's the new plan:
596
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,236
You're gonna start a riot...
597
00:36:04,404 --> 00:36:07,531
...and we're gonna
walk out the front door.
598
00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:10,117
[ALL LAUGHlNG]
599
00:36:10,285 --> 00:36:11,619
Hey, man.
600
00:36:12,287 --> 00:36:14,830
l know guys on crack
that makes more sense than you.
601
00:36:15,499 --> 00:36:16,540
RealIy?
602
00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:19,794
Then let me put it to you this way, cuz.
603
00:36:20,712 --> 00:36:22,713
["HARD KNOCK LlFE" PLAYlNG]
604
00:36:25,383 --> 00:36:26,717
Yeah.
605
00:36:27,385 --> 00:36:29,970
-[MOUTHS] Instead of treated
-[MOUTHS] We get tricked
606
00:36:30,555 --> 00:36:33,307
-Instead of kisses
-We get kicked
607
00:36:33,475 --> 00:36:34,558
It's the hard knock
608
00:36:34,726 --> 00:36:36,811
[SlNGlNG] I don't know how to be
No crib on MTV
609
00:36:36,978 --> 00:36:39,063
God only knows
Got my Mini Me in the G.P.
610
00:36:39,231 --> 00:36:41,273
See how it goes
Evil's all that I see
611
00:36:41,441 --> 00:36:43,567
And you ask me my name?
D to the rizzo
612
00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:45,402
E to the vizzo
I to the lizzo
613
00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:47,780
I'm a crazy
Y'all knew that
614
00:36:47,989 --> 00:36:51,075
Austin caught me in the first act
It's all backwards, what's with that?
615
00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:53,911
So I'll make a prophecy
From the dogs to the Mini Me
616
00:36:54,079 --> 00:36:56,747
Give me an Escalade, a two-way
Bling bling on eBay
617
00:36:56,915 --> 00:36:58,666
Domino
618
00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:04,755
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it
619
00:37:04,923 --> 00:37:06,590
[MOUTHS]
Instead of treated
620
00:37:07,467 --> 00:37:09,844
EVlL:
This is for all my homeys in Bruges
621
00:37:12,931 --> 00:37:14,598
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
622
00:37:17,561 --> 00:37:19,436
Ah, Cristal.
623
00:37:19,604 --> 00:37:20,646
My Moto.
624
00:37:20,814 --> 00:37:22,273
A couple of beyotches.
625
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,941
Why not?
626
00:37:24,526 --> 00:37:26,652
I gotta bust a move
Drop and bust a groove
627
00:37:26,820 --> 00:37:29,071
Feelin' fine, got an evil crew
Goldmember too
628
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:30,239
Lick my 9
629
00:37:30,407 --> 00:37:32,950
Till then I'll...on my...butt
Brains out
630
00:37:33,118 --> 00:37:35,786
Put...on call
And splooge in your...that's all
631
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,705
Fo' shizzle my nizzle, y'all
632
00:37:41,001 --> 00:37:42,334
Yeah.
633
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:44,420
AIl right, listen up.
634
00:37:44,588 --> 00:37:47,214
Tonight, 8 p.m.,
you're going to start a riot.
635
00:37:47,382 --> 00:37:49,633
ALL:
Yes, Dr. EviI.
636
00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:53,304
GUARD [OVER PA]: Attention, all guards.
There is a riot in progress.
637
00:37:53,471 --> 00:37:55,306
Seal all exits.
638
00:37:55,473 --> 00:38:00,352
Attention. Dr. Evil and his clone
are trying to escape.
639
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:04,398
All guards report to Cell Block A
immediately.
640
00:38:04,566 --> 00:38:07,651
Dr. Evil and his clone are getting away.
641
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:09,820
[DOGS BARKlNG]
642
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:17,995
There you are.
643
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:20,998
-Good morning, sunshine.
-Good morning.
644
00:38:21,166 --> 00:38:22,458
How did you sleep?
645
00:38:22,626 --> 00:38:26,003
-Great.
-Me too. lf these lips could talk.
646
00:38:26,171 --> 00:38:27,463
[LAUGHS]
647
00:38:27,631 --> 00:38:29,840
Mm. Oh, helIo.
648
00:38:31,051 --> 00:38:33,093
You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
649
00:38:33,261 --> 00:38:35,554
Oh. I hope there's a search involved.
650
00:38:35,722 --> 00:38:37,973
[BOTH LAUGH]
651
00:38:38,141 --> 00:38:39,266
COMPUTER:
You've got mail.
652
00:38:39,434 --> 00:38:41,852
So, what does this thing do?
653
00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:43,520
Well, it's caIled the lnternet...
654
00:38:43,688 --> 00:38:46,065
...and it's compIetely revolutionized
the way we Iive...
655
00:38:46,232 --> 00:38:47,858
...and access vital information.
656
00:38:48,026 --> 00:38:49,985
For example, have a look at this:
657
00:38:50,153 --> 00:38:51,487
WOMAN 1:
Oh, look at the monkey.
658
00:38:51,655 --> 00:38:54,698
WOMAN 2: Oh, he's got his finger on his--
WOMAN 1: Oh, no. Watch out.
659
00:38:57,285 --> 00:38:59,787
Wow. Now, that's vital information.
660
00:38:59,955 --> 00:39:01,455
l know. lt's amazing.
661
00:39:01,623 --> 00:39:02,957
[ELEVATOR DlNGS]
662
00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:07,044
Oh, Basil. What's happening, baby?
663
00:39:07,212 --> 00:39:08,879
A lot is happening, Foxxy.
664
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:11,131
Dr. Evil has escaped.
665
00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:13,342
The good news is that
one of our agents...
666
00:39:13,510 --> 00:39:16,887
...has managed to infiltrate
Dr. Evil's organization.
667
00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:20,724
ExceIlent. We've been trying for years
to get a mole inside Dr. Evil's lair.
668
00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:22,851
-We now have that mole.
-Yes.
669
00:39:23,019 --> 00:39:24,311
[ELEVATOR DlNGS]
670
00:39:24,479 --> 00:39:26,313
And here he is.
671
00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:29,358
So you're the--
672
00:39:30,151 --> 00:39:33,904
Mo....
673
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:35,948
Most. Most.
674
00:39:36,116 --> 00:39:38,492
-Most.
-Most excellent agent we've ever seen.
675
00:39:38,660 --> 00:39:40,911
Yes, most exceIlent agent we've ever seen.
676
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:42,913
-Mm-hm.
-Thank you.
677
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:44,581
Thank you.
678
00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:47,418
Now, I wasn't able to get an exact location,
but I did learn...
679
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:50,379
...that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair
outside of Tokyo, Japan.
680
00:39:50,547 --> 00:39:52,423
Hmm.
681
00:39:53,967 --> 00:39:56,593
By the way, I realize
that I have a large mole on my face.
682
00:39:57,929 --> 00:39:59,513
Where? Ha, ha.
683
00:39:59,681 --> 00:40:02,349
What? Where's that mole? Heh, heh.
684
00:40:02,517 --> 00:40:04,601
l didn't see one.
685
00:40:05,437 --> 00:40:09,064
l also realize the irony
that I am myself a moIe.
686
00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:12,860
No one would make that connection.
687
00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:17,781
Anyway, weIl done, old chap.
688
00:40:17,949 --> 00:40:18,991
Jolly good work.
689
00:40:19,159 --> 00:40:22,453
Yes, nice to mole you-- Meet you.
Nice to meet your mole.
690
00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:23,787
-Don't say "mole."
-Stop.
691
00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:25,998
-l said "mole."
-Stop.
692
00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:28,417
[MOUTHS]
Stop.
693
00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:31,128
-Bye.
AUSTlN: Mole.
694
00:40:35,341 --> 00:40:36,633
Mole.
695
00:40:36,801 --> 00:40:38,510
[MOUTHS]
Stop.
696
00:40:40,513 --> 00:40:43,223
-Mole.
-Oh, shut up!
697
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:48,812
Moley-moley-moley-moley-moley.
698
00:40:57,238 --> 00:40:59,239
[SUBMARlNE FARTS]
699
00:41:02,827 --> 00:41:04,912
Up, periscope.
700
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:11,835
Ladies and gentlemen...
701
00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:14,171
...welcome to my new submarine lair.
702
00:41:16,174 --> 00:41:19,259
lt's long and hard and full of seamen.
703
00:41:21,012 --> 00:41:22,346
[LAUGHS]
704
00:41:24,140 --> 00:41:26,183
Nothing? No?
705
00:41:26,351 --> 00:41:27,601
Not even a titter?
706
00:41:27,769 --> 00:41:28,977
Tough sub.
707
00:41:29,145 --> 00:41:31,939
Dr. Evil, you look very tight.
708
00:41:32,107 --> 00:41:33,607
Yes, tight Iike a tiger.
709
00:41:33,775 --> 00:41:35,192
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Really?
710
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,152
Yes, you look like a macho man.
711
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,154
VilIage People.
712
00:41:39,322 --> 00:41:40,531
You know, Goldmember...
713
00:41:40,698 --> 00:41:43,784
...l don't think that's something
one dude should say to another dude.
714
00:41:43,952 --> 00:41:46,495
Yeah. A little creepy. Mm-hm.
715
00:41:46,663 --> 00:41:51,458
Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
This is a keeper. Oi.
716
00:41:51,626 --> 00:41:52,876
Yes.
717
00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:57,005
AIl right, you're not gonna put that skin
in your mouth, are you?
718
00:41:58,508 --> 00:42:01,009
You did. Okay, that's just gross.
719
00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:04,471
Yes, salty. Yes, that was good.
720
00:42:04,639 --> 00:42:06,723
Ladies and gentlemen...
721
00:42:08,268 --> 00:42:09,935
...as you know...
722
00:42:10,103 --> 00:42:12,855
...we've been designing
a "tractor beam"...
723
00:42:13,022 --> 00:42:15,149
...code-named Preparation H.
724
00:42:15,316 --> 00:42:19,069
-Heh-heh-heh.
-lt's powerful enough to pull the meteor...
725
00:42:19,237 --> 00:42:23,073
..."Midas 22" into a collision course
with the Earth.
726
00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:27,619
Upon entering the atmosphere,
the hot baIl of magma...
727
00:42:27,787 --> 00:42:31,623
...wilI strike and melt the polar icecaps,
causing a global flood.
728
00:42:31,791 --> 00:42:36,253
But enough of my technical mumbo jumbo.
AIlow me to demonstrate.
729
00:42:36,421 --> 00:42:37,880
[SPEAKS lN YlDDlSH]
730
00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:41,925
Lower the globe.
731
00:42:42,093 --> 00:42:43,927
[SHRlEKS]
Lower the globe!
732
00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:47,264
EVlL:
Ow! Ow!
733
00:42:47,432 --> 00:42:48,765
[SPEAKS lN GERMAN]
734
00:42:48,933 --> 00:42:51,018
EVlL:
Well, congratulations, numbnuts.
735
00:42:51,186 --> 00:42:55,230
You've succeeded in turning me
into a fricking jack-in-the-box.
736
00:42:55,398 --> 00:42:57,858
Get it off. Get it off. lt's dark, it's dark.
737
00:42:58,026 --> 00:42:59,735
l'm okay. l'm okay.
738
00:42:59,903 --> 00:43:01,153
[CHUCKLES]
739
00:43:01,321 --> 00:43:02,946
Release the meteor.
740
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:05,115
[SHRlEKS]
Release the meteor!
741
00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:08,285
-Ow!
-Oh....
742
00:43:08,453 --> 00:43:10,120
[MOANlNG]
743
00:43:10,288 --> 00:43:11,371
No way.
744
00:43:11,539 --> 00:43:13,040
Right in the kniggin.
745
00:43:13,208 --> 00:43:16,251
-Goddamn it. Oh!
-Ow.
746
00:43:16,419 --> 00:43:17,961
Guys.
747
00:43:18,463 --> 00:43:19,796
Way to go, A-hole.
748
00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:24,301
AIl right, hold on while I try
and find my balIs, for God's sakes.
749
00:43:24,469 --> 00:43:26,678
One, two and three.
750
00:43:26,846 --> 00:43:28,639
Okay. l'm okay.
751
00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:32,726
Dr. Evil, we still have
the ultimate insurance policy.
752
00:43:32,894 --> 00:43:34,311
May I present to you...
753
00:43:34,479 --> 00:43:37,689
...the very sexual, the very tight...
754
00:43:37,899 --> 00:43:40,984
...Austin Powers' father.
755
00:43:41,152 --> 00:43:43,820
-His what?
-His father, Dr. Evil.
756
00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:45,739
His "farger"?
757
00:43:46,407 --> 00:43:50,118
-What's a farger?
-His father. You know, the father.
758
00:43:50,286 --> 00:43:54,957
Yeah. Goldmember, I don't speak
freaky-deaky Dutch, okay, perv boy?
759
00:43:55,124 --> 00:43:57,251
Father. His dad. Dad is father.
760
00:43:57,418 --> 00:43:58,543
Oh, his dad?
761
00:43:58,711 --> 00:44:01,004
Oh, his father.
762
00:44:01,172 --> 00:44:03,674
Yes, I have a Dutch accent.
lsn't that weird?
763
00:44:03,841 --> 00:44:05,759
Father. Father.
764
00:44:06,511 --> 00:44:09,012
Ah, Nigel Powers.
765
00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:10,514
NlGEL:
Hello, helIo.
766
00:44:12,016 --> 00:44:13,976
[FARBlSSlNA SQUEALS
THEN NlGEL LAUGHS]
767
00:44:14,143 --> 00:44:18,480
-Bring him to me.
-Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.
768
00:44:18,648 --> 00:44:21,733
Oh, put the guns down.
ls this the first day on the job or something?
769
00:44:21,901 --> 00:44:25,529
Look, this is how it goes.
You attack me one at a time...
770
00:44:25,697 --> 00:44:28,949
...and I knock you out with a single punch.
Okay? Go.
771
00:44:29,117 --> 00:44:30,534
-Judo chop.
-Oh, he's good.
772
00:44:30,702 --> 00:44:31,952
Judo chop.
773
00:44:32,620 --> 00:44:33,996
Do you know who I am?
774
00:44:34,414 --> 00:44:36,748
Have you any idea
how many anonymous henchmen...
775
00:44:36,916 --> 00:44:39,376
...l've kilIed over the years?
And look at you.
776
00:44:39,544 --> 00:44:42,546
You haven't even got a nametag.
You got no chance.
777
00:44:42,714 --> 00:44:44,172
Why don't you just falI down?
778
00:44:44,340 --> 00:44:46,258
Go on, son.
779
00:44:48,136 --> 00:44:51,638
AIl right, Dr. Evil, give yourself up
while you've still got a chance.
780
00:44:51,806 --> 00:44:53,223
[GUN COCKS]
781
00:44:53,391 --> 00:44:56,351
Okay. Okay. You've got me.
782
00:44:56,519 --> 00:44:58,895
NigeI Powers, meet...
783
00:44:59,814 --> 00:45:01,565
-...Mini Me.
NlGEL: Oh, blimey.
784
00:45:01,733 --> 00:45:03,066
l thought I smelled cabbage.
785
00:45:04,235 --> 00:45:05,402
Take him away.
786
00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:09,573
Uh, Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold?
787
00:45:09,741 --> 00:45:12,409
lt's kind of my thing, you know.
788
00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:21,501
How about no, you crazy Dutch bastard?
789
00:45:23,796 --> 00:45:25,964
MAN [OVER PA]:
Attention, henchmen, it's health week.
790
00:45:26,132 --> 00:45:28,759
Don't forget your physical.
Dr. Evil's orders.
791
00:45:32,847 --> 00:45:35,849
You know, I think it's a shame
the way they treat you.
792
00:45:36,017 --> 00:45:38,602
Just because
you're one-eighth their size...
793
00:45:38,770 --> 00:45:41,772
...doesn't mean you deserve
one-eighth of their respect.
794
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,066
Does it?
795
00:45:44,233 --> 00:45:46,943
Say, mini-fella, l'm, uh...
796
00:45:47,111 --> 00:45:48,945
...l'm curious.
797
00:45:49,447 --> 00:45:52,783
ls, uh, everything in proportion?
798
00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:56,953
You know, your bobby-dangler,
your general, two colonels...
799
00:45:57,121 --> 00:45:59,373
...your giggle stick, master of ceremonies.
800
00:46:00,708 --> 00:46:02,959
Yeah. Oh, don't be shy. Let's have a look.
801
00:46:08,591 --> 00:46:10,300
My word.
802
00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:11,968
You're a tripod.
803
00:46:12,136 --> 00:46:13,553
[NlGEL CHUCKLES]
804
00:46:13,721 --> 00:46:17,599
What do you feed that thing, eh?
lt's like a baby's arm holding an apple.
805
00:46:17,767 --> 00:46:18,809
[NlGEL CHUCKLES]
806
00:46:19,268 --> 00:46:23,480
The good news is, you ever get tired,
you can use it as a kickstand.
807
00:46:28,736 --> 00:46:32,572
l think we both know who the real brains is
behind this operation, eh?
808
00:46:32,740 --> 00:46:33,782
Mm-hm.
809
00:46:33,950 --> 00:46:34,950
[NlGEL LAUGHS]
810
00:46:47,839 --> 00:46:50,799
Tokyo à gogo, baby. Yeah.
811
00:46:50,967 --> 00:46:52,467
[CELL PHONE RlNGS]
812
00:46:52,635 --> 00:46:54,261
Oh, what's kicking, Basil?
813
00:46:54,429 --> 00:46:57,180
A lot's kicking, Foxxy. Austin...
814
00:46:57,348 --> 00:47:01,601
...one of Dr. Evil's henchmen
has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena.
815
00:47:01,769 --> 00:47:03,687
Proceed there immediately.
816
00:47:03,855 --> 00:47:05,188
Thanks, Basil.
817
00:47:07,442 --> 00:47:09,443
[MAN SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE OVER PA]
818
00:47:11,404 --> 00:47:16,158
Ah, Jesus Christ.
This diaper's making my nuts rub together.
819
00:47:16,325 --> 00:47:19,202
lt's gonna start a fire.
820
00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:21,121
That's Fat Bastard.
821
00:47:21,289 --> 00:47:25,041
[SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
...Fat Bastard.
822
00:47:25,209 --> 00:47:26,460
[AUDlENCE BOOlNG]
823
00:47:26,627 --> 00:47:28,628
[REFEREE SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
824
00:47:28,796 --> 00:47:31,131
[FAT BASTARD GRUNTlNG]
825
00:47:34,802 --> 00:47:36,219
[GRUNTS]
826
00:47:36,387 --> 00:47:37,387
[MOANS]
827
00:47:37,555 --> 00:47:39,890
You know what my favorite
Helen Hunt movie is?
828
00:47:40,057 --> 00:47:41,057
Twister.
829
00:47:41,225 --> 00:47:42,893
[SCREAMlNG]
830
00:47:47,356 --> 00:47:48,732
Oh!
831
00:47:48,900 --> 00:47:51,401
[SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
Fat Bastard...
832
00:47:51,569 --> 00:47:52,903
[AUDlENCE BOOlNG]
833
00:47:53,070 --> 00:47:55,363
-That's not right.
-Sure ain't.
834
00:47:55,531 --> 00:47:57,365
Are we done here?
835
00:47:57,533 --> 00:47:59,701
l've got to take a crap.
836
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:02,787
AUSTlN:
Wait a tick.
837
00:48:02,955 --> 00:48:05,040
Something doesn't smell right.
838
00:48:05,208 --> 00:48:07,751
And I think it's Fat Bastard.
839
00:48:07,919 --> 00:48:12,339
FAT BASTARD [SlNGlNG]:
On top of spaghetti
840
00:48:12,507 --> 00:48:16,092
All covered in-- Ahh! --cheese
841
00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:21,515
I lost my poor meatball
842
00:48:21,682 --> 00:48:23,016
'Cause somebody--
843
00:48:23,184 --> 00:48:24,768
[FAT BASTARD GRUNTS]
844
00:48:25,478 --> 00:48:30,065
-[WHlSPERlNG] You okay, Austin?
-Sound as a pound, love. Yeah. Good.
845
00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:34,194
What the--? I didn't have any corn.
846
00:48:34,779 --> 00:48:36,446
[TOlLET FLUSHES]
847
00:48:38,449 --> 00:48:40,116
Aah!
848
00:48:41,202 --> 00:48:42,452
[AUSTlN CHOKlNG]
849
00:48:49,043 --> 00:48:50,460
FAT BASTARD:
Hey, diaper lady.
850
00:48:51,212 --> 00:48:52,754
Here's my diaper.
851
00:48:52,922 --> 00:48:54,256
[FAT BASTARD LAUGHS]
852
00:48:54,423 --> 00:48:56,550
l think I might have pinched one off
too soon.
853
00:48:59,053 --> 00:49:02,389
Oh, I left a rosebud in there for you.
854
00:49:02,557 --> 00:49:03,890
[FAT BASTARD LAUGHS]
855
00:49:04,892 --> 00:49:06,893
[SCREAMlNG]
856
00:49:11,732 --> 00:49:14,484
You realIy are a fat bastard.
857
00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:17,988
You know, that hurts my feelings.
l tried going on a diet, you know.
858
00:49:18,155 --> 00:49:21,658
The Zone. You know,
"carbs are the enemy"?
859
00:49:22,243 --> 00:49:24,327
We don't like carbs,
you know what I mean?
860
00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:25,870
Oh.
861
00:49:27,540 --> 00:49:28,915
Who's your friend?
862
00:49:30,167 --> 00:49:32,669
Oh, l'd like to have a go with that filIy.
863
00:49:32,837 --> 00:49:35,380
Oh, do you find me sexy?
864
00:49:35,548 --> 00:49:37,424
Oh, look at my titties.
865
00:49:37,592 --> 00:49:38,842
[MOANlNG]
866
00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:42,345
-Shut your mouth.
-Mm, yeah.
867
00:49:42,930 --> 00:49:44,431
AIl right, that's enough.
868
00:49:44,599 --> 00:49:46,600
Okay, you got me.
869
00:49:46,767 --> 00:49:48,184
-Put it there, would you?
-Okay.
870
00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:50,353
[BOTH GRUNTlNG]
871
00:49:53,774 --> 00:49:55,108
FAT BASTARD:
Come here, you.
872
00:49:55,901 --> 00:49:58,361
Ow, my titties!
873
00:49:58,529 --> 00:50:00,697
Ow, you gave me a nurple.
874
00:50:06,329 --> 00:50:08,371
l've got you now, ha-ha-ha.
875
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:10,707
Come here, you.
876
00:50:17,214 --> 00:50:20,717
Prepare for the ultimate
wire-fighting maneuver.
877
00:50:20,885 --> 00:50:21,968
[FAT BASTARD CHUCKLES]
878
00:50:22,136 --> 00:50:25,305
l just hope my wire-fighting team
is ready.
879
00:50:26,849 --> 00:50:28,016
[YELLS]
880
00:50:28,184 --> 00:50:30,060
Whoa!
881
00:50:30,227 --> 00:50:31,311
[ALL YELL]
882
00:50:41,489 --> 00:50:42,697
[WlRE SNAPS]
883
00:50:45,326 --> 00:50:47,494
-Crikey.
-Oh, great.
884
00:50:47,662 --> 00:50:49,496
lsn't this magical?
885
00:50:49,664 --> 00:50:51,373
One of my wires broke.
886
00:50:54,210 --> 00:50:56,086
[FAT BASTARD GRUNTS THEN MOANS]
887
00:50:59,048 --> 00:51:00,548
You under arrest, sugar.
888
00:51:03,052 --> 00:51:06,096
Okay, Fat Bastard, who's the Japanese cat
you made an exchange with?
889
00:51:06,263 --> 00:51:08,431
Oh, all right.
890
00:51:08,849 --> 00:51:11,059
His name is Roboto.
891
00:51:11,227 --> 00:51:13,353
He owns Roboto lndustries.
892
00:51:13,521 --> 00:51:18,191
He's designing some contraption
for Dr. Evil. I don't know.
893
00:51:18,359 --> 00:51:19,943
[lN UNlSON]
The tractor beam.
894
00:51:20,111 --> 00:51:21,361
-That's it.
AUSTlN: Listen...
895
00:51:21,529 --> 00:51:24,531
...do you honestly think
that crime can pay?
896
00:51:24,699 --> 00:51:27,617
Well, to be honest with you,
l've been trying to go legit.
897
00:51:28,285 --> 00:51:31,413
l reaIly take my sumo wrestling
seriously, you know.
898
00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:35,834
But when you're an overweight chiId...
899
00:51:36,001 --> 00:51:39,671
...in a society that demands perfection...
900
00:51:40,506 --> 00:51:42,966
...well, your sense of right, wrong...
901
00:51:43,134 --> 00:51:45,677
...fair and unfair...
902
00:51:46,971 --> 00:51:50,473
...wilI aIways be tragically skewed.
903
00:51:51,767 --> 00:51:54,102
[FARTS]
904
00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:57,814
Did you just soiI yourself?
905
00:51:57,982 --> 00:52:00,442
Maybe, heh-heh-heh.
906
00:52:00,609 --> 00:52:03,319
lt did sound a little wet, didn't it?
Right at the end.
907
00:52:03,487 --> 00:52:04,738
Ooh. Ha-ha-ha.
908
00:52:04,905 --> 00:52:06,281
Let's have a smell, alI right?
909
00:52:06,449 --> 00:52:07,490
[GUN COCKS]
910
00:52:07,658 --> 00:52:08,992
Ooh, wafting, wafting.
911
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,746
Oh, everyone likes their own brand,
don't they? This is magic.
912
00:52:12,913 --> 00:52:14,622
AIl right, analysis:
913
00:52:14,790 --> 00:52:17,834
Oh, it smells like carrots and throw-up.
914
00:52:18,002 --> 00:52:20,003
Oh, that could gag a maggot.
915
00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:24,674
l smell like hot, sick ass
in a dead carcass.
916
00:52:25,384 --> 00:52:28,970
Oh, even stink wouId say that stinks.
917
00:52:29,138 --> 00:52:31,347
You know when you go
into an apartment building...
918
00:52:31,515 --> 00:52:34,184
...and you smelI other people's cooking
on each floor and you go:
919
00:52:34,351 --> 00:52:37,604
"What are they cooking?" That, plus crap.
920
00:52:45,404 --> 00:52:47,280
-Hey, Pop.
-Hey, Scotty.
921
00:52:47,448 --> 00:52:49,032
How you been, sport?
922
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:50,700
Whoa!
923
00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:52,160
l got you a present.
924
00:52:52,328 --> 00:52:53,661
RealIy?
925
00:52:53,829 --> 00:52:56,206
-Open the tank.
-[SHRlEKS] Open the tank!
926
00:53:02,838 --> 00:53:06,549
Are those sharks with laser beams
attached to their heads?
927
00:53:08,761 --> 00:53:10,386
[GRUNTS THEN YELLS]
928
00:53:11,138 --> 00:53:13,765
Cool. You mean I actually have
fricking sharks...
929
00:53:13,933 --> 00:53:17,393
...with fricking laser beams
attached to their fricking heads?
930
00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:21,189
You're the best evil son
an evil dad could ever ask for.
931
00:53:23,609 --> 00:53:24,651
Well, I love you, Dad.
932
00:53:24,819 --> 00:53:26,486
[GRUNTS]
933
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:29,489
l love you, son.
934
00:53:29,657 --> 00:53:31,074
[GASPS]
935
00:53:31,242 --> 00:53:32,450
lt's touching moment, yes.
936
00:53:32,618 --> 00:53:35,036
Scotty, come here.
937
00:53:35,996 --> 00:53:38,164
Pop a squat right next to Daddy.
938
00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:41,960
Mini Me?
939
00:53:42,503 --> 00:53:44,504
Move down the bench.
940
00:53:46,006 --> 00:53:47,423
[WHlSPERS]
Move down the bench.
941
00:53:47,591 --> 00:53:49,008
There's a power struggle, yes.
942
00:53:54,431 --> 00:53:56,766
Scotty's on fire.
943
00:53:56,934 --> 00:53:58,434
[GROWLS]
944
00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:00,395
AIl right, it's getting crowded in here.
945
00:54:00,563 --> 00:54:02,772
Everyone out, everyone out. Come on.
946
00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:05,066
Not you, Scotty. Not you, Number Two.
947
00:54:05,234 --> 00:54:06,901
Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember.
948
00:54:07,069 --> 00:54:08,403
Not you, guys back there.
949
00:54:08,571 --> 00:54:10,613
Not you, Henchman Holding Wrench.
950
00:54:10,781 --> 00:54:12,782
Not you,
Henchman Arbitrarily Turning Knobs...
951
00:54:12,950 --> 00:54:14,951
...Making lt Seem Like
You're Doing Something.
952
00:54:27,131 --> 00:54:29,966
Oh, this is uncomfortable.
953
00:54:30,134 --> 00:54:32,802
Heh, heh. The tiny one can't take a hint.
Heh-heh-heh.
954
00:54:33,929 --> 00:54:36,472
He doesn't understand.
He is small, heh, heh.
955
00:54:44,023 --> 00:54:45,356
[WHlMPERS]
956
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,363
[GASPS]
957
00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:53,907
[PHONE RlNGS]
958
00:54:54,074 --> 00:54:56,284
Hello, Foxxy. Austin.
959
00:54:56,452 --> 00:54:59,954
We've confirmed what Fat Bastard told you
about Roboto is accurate.
960
00:55:00,122 --> 00:55:03,499
He was hired by Dr. Evil
to construct Preparation H.
961
00:55:03,667 --> 00:55:07,754
So Roboto had the technology
to build Goldmember's tractor beam.
962
00:55:07,922 --> 00:55:09,797
Which means Roboto
will lead us to Goldmember.
963
00:55:09,965 --> 00:55:13,051
Which means GoIdmember
will lead us to my father.
964
00:55:18,682 --> 00:55:20,683
[lN JAPANESE]
965
00:55:25,439 --> 00:55:28,524
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. I thank you.
966
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,361
[lN JAPANESE]
967
00:55:34,031 --> 00:55:36,115
-You speak Japanese?
-A little.
968
00:55:36,283 --> 00:55:38,952
Well, you might be a cunning linguist,
but l'm a master debater.
969
00:55:39,119 --> 00:55:41,120
[BOTH LAUGH]
970
00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:44,958
l'm looking for my father.
He was kidnapped.
971
00:55:50,297 --> 00:55:52,006
PIease eat what?
972
00:55:52,424 --> 00:55:53,758
FOXXY:
Wait.
973
00:55:54,677 --> 00:55:58,388
He said,
"Please eat some shitake mushrooms."
974
00:55:58,555 --> 00:56:00,348
Tell me...
975
00:56:00,516 --> 00:56:01,975
...what do you know...
976
00:56:02,142 --> 00:56:05,728
...about my father's where...
977
00:56:06,897 --> 00:56:10,191
...abouts?
978
00:56:10,359 --> 00:56:11,693
Mm.
979
00:56:15,489 --> 00:56:17,740
"Your ass is happy"?
980
00:56:17,908 --> 00:56:19,242
No.
981
00:56:21,495 --> 00:56:24,831
He said,
"Your assignment is an unhappy one."
982
00:56:24,999 --> 00:56:26,290
Oh.
983
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:29,002
[GASPS]
984
00:56:29,169 --> 00:56:31,754
Nice potty mouth, dirtbag.
985
00:56:33,757 --> 00:56:34,882
Oh.
986
00:56:37,094 --> 00:56:39,846
Yes, quite off topic,
thank you very much.
987
00:56:40,681 --> 00:56:42,890
[lN ENGLlSH]
Why don't I just speak in EngIish?
988
00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:46,102
That would be a good idea,
now, wouIdn't it?
989
00:56:46,270 --> 00:56:48,271
That way I wouldn't
misread the subtitles...
990
00:56:48,439 --> 00:56:51,607
...making it seem like
you're saying things that are dirty.
991
00:56:51,775 --> 00:56:54,944
l'm sorry to hear about your father,
but I can't help you.
992
00:56:56,780 --> 00:56:59,115
PIease excuse me.
l have another appointment.
993
00:57:05,122 --> 00:57:06,330
By the way...
994
00:57:06,498 --> 00:57:08,499
[lN JAPANESE]
995
00:57:11,712 --> 00:57:15,048
-Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
-TelI me something I don't know.
996
00:57:15,215 --> 00:57:17,467
-l open-mouth kissed a horse once.
-Say what?
997
00:57:17,634 --> 00:57:19,052
That's something you don't know.
998
00:57:19,219 --> 00:57:22,138
My spider sense is telling me
that my father's still in this building.
999
00:57:22,306 --> 00:57:25,641
You keep a lookout.
l'm gonna try and sneak in.
1000
00:57:26,977 --> 00:57:28,478
[PHONE RlNGS]
1001
00:57:30,481 --> 00:57:35,651
[lN JAPANESE]
1002
00:57:40,574 --> 00:57:41,908
[PHONE RlNGS]
1003
00:57:42,576 --> 00:57:44,494
[GUARD SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
1004
00:57:49,041 --> 00:57:50,124
[PANTS UNZlPS]
1005
00:57:53,837 --> 00:57:56,422
[SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
1006
00:57:56,590 --> 00:57:57,840
[MOANS]
1007
00:58:04,139 --> 00:58:10,019
[GRUNTS]
1008
00:58:14,858 --> 00:58:16,859
[GRUNTlNG]
1009
00:58:29,832 --> 00:58:31,833
AUSTlN:
Mm.
1010
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:43,970
[GUARD SPEAKlNG lN JAPANESE]
1011
00:58:45,848 --> 00:58:47,390
[GRUNTS]
1012
00:58:48,517 --> 00:58:49,767
Come on, come on, come on.
1013
00:58:55,399 --> 00:58:56,732
[CHUCKLES]
1014
00:58:58,735 --> 00:59:00,570
[GASPS THEN YELLS]
1015
00:59:01,822 --> 00:59:03,531
[AUSTlN CHOKlNG
AND GUARD CHUCKLlNG]
1016
00:59:03,699 --> 00:59:05,366
[GUARD GROWLlNG]
1017
00:59:06,994 --> 00:59:08,578
[BOTH GRUNTlNG]
1018
00:59:08,745 --> 00:59:09,912
Judo chop!
1019
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,081
[AUSTlN PANTlNG]
1020
00:59:36,023 --> 00:59:37,940
Shazam!
1021
00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:39,442
Come on, sugar.
1022
00:59:44,489 --> 00:59:47,283
-There's Goldmember and Roboto.
GOLDMEMBER: Yes, very impressive.
1023
00:59:47,451 --> 00:59:50,119
Put Preparation H
into my schtuppen transporten.
1024
00:59:53,415 --> 00:59:56,417
-What's this?
-You need this to turn on the tractor beam.
1025
00:59:56,585 --> 00:59:58,294
lt's a gold key.
1026
00:59:58,462 --> 00:59:59,879
lt's gold.
1027
01:00:00,839 --> 01:00:02,173
Smarty-pants.
1028
01:00:02,341 --> 01:00:04,467
-Let's spread out.
-Yeah.
1029
01:00:08,889 --> 01:00:11,349
Hands up, Goldmember.
lt's payback time.
1030
01:00:11,516 --> 01:00:12,558
[LAUGHS]
1031
01:00:12,726 --> 01:00:14,143
GOLDMEMBER:
Sure, you can kilI me...
1032
01:00:14,311 --> 01:00:18,064
...but then what happens
to Austin Powers' father?
1033
01:00:19,066 --> 01:00:20,483
[BEEPS]
1034
01:00:20,651 --> 01:00:22,944
[MUFFLED SCREAMlNG]
1035
01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:27,865
-Dad.
-Yes.
1036
01:00:28,033 --> 01:00:31,327
And now he's going to have
an unfortunate smelting accident.
1037
01:00:38,502 --> 01:00:40,336
-Hiya!
-Unh!
1038
01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:43,089
Don't worry, Dad. l'm here to rescue you.
1039
01:00:43,257 --> 01:00:47,593
Ow! May I point out that last time around,
you fell into an obvious trap.
1040
01:00:47,761 --> 01:00:50,179
Now you're trying to save me
instead of stopping Goldmember.
1041
01:00:50,347 --> 01:00:53,182
Oh, please. l'm not gonna
let Goldmember get away.
1042
01:00:53,350 --> 01:00:55,351
Austin, Goldmember's getting away.
1043
01:00:55,519 --> 01:00:56,852
Ah.
1044
01:00:57,479 --> 01:00:59,188
[LAUGHlNG]
1045
01:01:01,525 --> 01:01:05,361
Hello, helIo.
Aren't you going to introduce us, Austin?
1046
01:01:05,529 --> 01:01:07,822
-Foxxy, this is--
-Powers. Nigel Powers.
1047
01:01:08,949 --> 01:01:12,451
-ls that Eau de Flores you're wearing?
-Yes, it is.
1048
01:01:12,619 --> 01:01:13,995
That's how a woman should smell.
1049
01:01:14,162 --> 01:01:16,372
Especially one as beautiful as you.
1050
01:01:16,540 --> 01:01:20,459
My, my. Even in the face of danger,
you live up to your reputation.
1051
01:01:20,627 --> 01:01:21,836
[FOXXY AND NlGEL LAUGH]
1052
01:01:22,004 --> 01:01:23,212
[NlGEL GRUNTS]
1053
01:01:23,380 --> 01:01:24,547
Get on with it.
1054
01:01:29,136 --> 01:01:30,720
NlGEL:
l've got an idea.
1055
01:01:35,225 --> 01:01:36,892
Your spy car's a MlNl?
1056
01:01:37,060 --> 01:01:40,062
lt's not the size, mate,
it's how you use it.
1057
01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:00,583
[SPEAKS lN GERMAN]
1058
01:02:03,545 --> 01:02:05,338
l would've found my way off that.
1059
01:02:05,505 --> 01:02:07,506
FOXXY: FelIas.
-What? I saved your life.
1060
01:02:07,674 --> 01:02:10,217
-You should've been doing your job.
-Oh, you're welcome, man.
1061
01:02:10,385 --> 01:02:12,386
Shut up and turn around, please!
1062
01:02:12,554 --> 01:02:13,679
[BUS HORN HONKlNG]
1063
01:02:13,847 --> 01:02:15,556
[ALL SCREAMlNG]
1064
01:02:31,782 --> 01:02:33,783
[SHOPPERS SCREAMlNG]
1065
01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:43,167
Run! lt's Godzilla!
1066
01:02:43,335 --> 01:02:46,921
lt looks like GodziIla, but due to
internationaI copyright laws, it's not.
1067
01:02:47,130 --> 01:02:49,465
Still, we should run like it is Godzilla!
1068
01:02:49,633 --> 01:02:50,883
Though it isn't.
1069
01:02:51,051 --> 01:02:53,094
[BOTH SCREAM]
1070
01:02:56,473 --> 01:02:57,807
There's GoIdmember.
1071
01:03:04,147 --> 01:03:06,315
GOLDMEMBER [OVER RADlO]:
Breaker, breaker, 1 -niner.
1072
01:03:06,483 --> 01:03:08,317
This is Goldy-Wang. Over.
1073
01:03:08,485 --> 01:03:09,985
10-4, there, Goldy-Wang.
1074
01:03:10,153 --> 01:03:12,488
This is Rubber Ducky.
What's your 10-20? Over.
1075
01:03:12,656 --> 01:03:16,450
l've got Preparation H in my rear
and Smokey the Bear in my back door.
1076
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:18,911
We've got us a convoy. Over.
1077
01:03:19,079 --> 01:03:22,832
Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch
pile of monkey nuts.
1078
01:03:23,542 --> 01:03:25,876
GOLDMEMBER [OVER RADlO]:
Open wide there, Rubber Ducky.
1079
01:03:26,044 --> 01:03:28,546
I am entering your mouth now. Over.
1080
01:03:33,301 --> 01:03:34,635
[SUBMARlNE SlREN BLARlNG]
1081
01:03:34,803 --> 01:03:38,514
AUSTlN: Oh, great. Goldmember got away.
FOXXY: Now what?
1082
01:03:38,682 --> 01:03:41,475
l think it's obvious.
We should take Dr. Evil's Iair by force.
1083
01:03:41,643 --> 01:03:44,061
-You can be my backup, son.
-Backup?
1084
01:03:44,229 --> 01:03:46,147
Well, that's fairIy condescending.
1085
01:03:46,314 --> 01:03:48,399
Do you think Dr. Evil's
gonna expect an attack?
1086
01:03:48,567 --> 01:03:50,401
We should infiltrate his lair.
1087
01:03:50,569 --> 01:03:53,195
This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy.
1088
01:03:53,363 --> 01:03:57,366
We need commandos, scuba,
gadgets, for God's sake.
1089
01:03:57,534 --> 01:03:59,869
Well, I don't like to use gadgets...
1090
01:04:00,036 --> 01:04:02,163
...outside the bedroom. I thank you.
1091
01:04:02,330 --> 01:04:04,874
[BOTH LAUGH]
1092
01:04:05,041 --> 01:04:06,125
Outside the bedroom.
1093
01:04:06,293 --> 01:04:09,712
You know, I think being frozen
damaged your brain.
1094
01:04:10,547 --> 01:04:13,007
RealIy? And how would you know?
1095
01:04:13,175 --> 01:04:16,844
This is the most time
that we've ever spent together since...
1096
01:04:17,345 --> 01:04:18,387
...ever.
1097
01:04:18,555 --> 01:04:20,639
-What are you saying, son?
-Oh, please.
1098
01:04:20,807 --> 01:04:23,726
What boy learned to drive a car
with machine guns on it?
1099
01:04:23,894 --> 01:04:26,896
Or had a helicopter
you can fit in a knapsack?
1100
01:04:27,063 --> 01:04:29,064
What about your Swedish nanny, Helga?
1101
01:04:29,232 --> 01:04:30,357
[PURRS]
1102
01:04:30,525 --> 01:04:31,567
Oh, yes. HeIga.
1103
01:04:31,735 --> 01:04:33,569
Let's say I didn't hire her for the cooking.
1104
01:04:33,737 --> 01:04:35,321
-Ha-ha-ha.
-Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes.
1105
01:04:35,489 --> 01:04:37,156
She stayed on until you were 24.
1106
01:04:39,075 --> 01:04:40,659
We were mates, you and l.
1107
01:04:40,827 --> 01:04:44,038
l didn't need a friend, I needed a father.
1108
01:04:44,915 --> 01:04:47,082
Do you know I risked my life
trying to save you...
1109
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:49,710
...and you still don't give me any respect.
1110
01:04:49,878 --> 01:04:54,173
Respect? Oh, come on.
lf you've got an issue, here's a tissue.
1111
01:04:54,341 --> 01:04:56,342
[NlGEL AND FOXXY LAUGH]
1112
01:05:02,015 --> 01:05:05,351
That is not funny.
1113
01:05:06,269 --> 01:05:08,771
Well, I suppose we better go
our separate ways, then.
1114
01:05:10,649 --> 01:05:16,570
Fine.
1115
01:05:27,457 --> 01:05:30,918
So l've been assigned to welcome you
to the Ministry of Defence.
1116
01:05:31,086 --> 01:05:34,547
l have a Ietter from my director
personally thanking you for switching sides.
1117
01:05:42,847 --> 01:05:45,099
l can't wait to inform Austin
of your defection.
1118
01:05:46,643 --> 01:05:49,311
[PHONE RlNGlNG]
1119
01:05:49,771 --> 01:05:51,814
Oh, hello, Basil.
1120
01:05:51,982 --> 01:05:54,817
Yes, Austin should be here
any second. Yes.
1121
01:05:55,402 --> 01:05:57,820
Yes, l'm in Austin's hotel room right now.
Mm-hm.
1122
01:06:04,286 --> 01:06:06,328
-Aah!
-Oh-- Uh--
1123
01:06:06,496 --> 01:06:08,497
-Assassin!
-Eek!
1124
01:06:09,499 --> 01:06:10,833
[GRUNTS]
1125
01:06:11,167 --> 01:06:13,085
AUSTlN:
Try to kill me, will you?
1126
01:06:16,089 --> 01:06:17,965
Oh, you want to be friends, huh?
1127
01:06:19,634 --> 01:06:21,260
Wait a tick.
1128
01:06:22,596 --> 01:06:23,929
Peace?
1129
01:06:24,097 --> 01:06:25,139
Oh!
1130
01:06:25,307 --> 01:06:27,141
l'm not faIling for that again.
1131
01:06:32,939 --> 01:06:35,316
[BOTH GRUNTlNG]
1132
01:06:36,484 --> 01:06:38,694
But at least he didn't mention it.
1133
01:06:38,862 --> 01:06:41,196
Yes, I realize he can't taIk.
1134
01:06:41,531 --> 01:06:45,367
Listen, I think Dr. Evil treated him badly
and that's why he's decided to help us.
1135
01:06:51,374 --> 01:06:53,626
AUSTlN:
Come back here, you littIe bugger.
1136
01:06:54,753 --> 01:06:55,878
Got you.
1137
01:06:59,174 --> 01:07:01,800
Oh, yes, l'm sure Austin and Mini
will get along famously.
1138
01:07:03,386 --> 01:07:06,472
No, I guarantee nothing wiIl happen
to Mini Me on my watch.
1139
01:07:09,100 --> 01:07:10,559
[PANTlNG]
1140
01:07:10,727 --> 01:07:13,562
Come on, you bugger.
Come on, I got you.
1141
01:07:17,859 --> 01:07:23,238
Oh, I think he and Austin will be united
in their commitment to stopping Dr. Evil.
1142
01:07:27,327 --> 01:07:30,871
Austin, there you are.
l've come to telI you the good news.
1143
01:07:34,918 --> 01:07:36,919
Mini Me has...
1144
01:07:37,754 --> 01:07:38,754
...switched sides.
1145
01:07:39,422 --> 01:07:42,257
Ah! Oh. Heh.
1146
01:07:42,425 --> 01:07:46,887
Sorry about that, old chap. Sorry.
You know. Sorry.
1147
01:07:47,055 --> 01:07:49,515
Welcome aboard, heh-heh-heh.
1148
01:07:49,683 --> 01:07:52,184
-My "mole-stake."
-What was that?
1149
01:07:53,228 --> 01:07:56,438
-Listen, just get it out of your system.
-No, l'm fine.
1150
01:07:56,606 --> 01:07:58,607
-We could work together better if--
-lt's okay--
1151
01:07:58,775 --> 01:08:00,484
Mole! Bloody mole!
1152
01:08:00,652 --> 01:08:04,780
We're not supposed to talk about the moIe,
but there's a mole winking me in the face.
1153
01:08:04,948 --> 01:08:09,201
l'm gonna chop it off and cut it up
and make some guacamole.
1154
01:08:11,287 --> 01:08:13,706
-Better?
-Yeah. Yes.
1155
01:08:21,131 --> 01:08:22,965
[CHUCKLES]
1156
01:08:27,887 --> 01:08:31,056
So you've decided to join us,
huh, Mini Me?
1157
01:08:31,224 --> 01:08:33,475
Welcome to the good side,
my mini-brother.
1158
01:08:33,643 --> 01:08:36,645
And thank you for the map
of Dr. Evil's sub.
1159
01:08:38,148 --> 01:08:39,815
What's this? lt says:
1160
01:08:39,983 --> 01:08:43,444
"Dr. Evil's tractor beam is now complete.
There's not much time.
1161
01:08:43,611 --> 01:08:45,154
Dr. Evil must pay."
1162
01:08:49,784 --> 01:08:52,953
"You are so beautiful.
Are you a clone of an angel?"
1163
01:08:53,121 --> 01:08:54,163
[FOXXY AND AUSTlN LAUGH]
1164
01:08:54,330 --> 01:08:58,459
That is so sweet.
Well, no, my mini-man, l'm not.
1165
01:09:01,755 --> 01:09:04,006
"Are you sure you don't have
a little clone in you?"
1166
01:09:04,174 --> 01:09:05,174
[CHUCKLES]
1167
01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:06,759
Yeah, l'm sure.
1168
01:09:06,968 --> 01:09:08,218
"Would you like to?"
1169
01:09:08,386 --> 01:09:09,720
[LAUGHS]
1170
01:09:11,848 --> 01:09:13,766
Horny bugger.
1171
01:09:13,933 --> 01:09:15,976
That is so not funny.
1172
01:09:16,936 --> 01:09:18,771
Okay, everyone, prepare to dive.
1173
01:09:18,938 --> 01:09:21,440
This spy car's also a submarine.
1174
01:09:36,706 --> 01:09:39,208
Get me the World Organization.
1175
01:09:41,586 --> 01:09:42,878
What is it, Dr. Evil?
1176
01:09:43,046 --> 01:09:44,505
Gentlemen, in a matter of hours...
1177
01:09:44,672 --> 01:09:48,550
...a meteor will crash into Earth,
causing a global flood.
1178
01:09:48,718 --> 01:09:50,844
That is, of course, unless you pay me...
1179
01:09:52,555 --> 01:09:54,014
...one billion...
1180
01:09:54,182 --> 01:09:56,517
[DR. EVlL MUTTERlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]
1181
01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:02,189
...million yen.
1182
01:10:02,357 --> 01:10:04,066
l think you're bluffing.
1183
01:10:04,234 --> 01:10:08,237
Well, perhaps you'd like a demonstration.
Number Two, the key, please.
1184
01:10:08,404 --> 01:10:10,405
[BEEPlNG]
1185
01:10:30,176 --> 01:10:32,261
Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing.
1186
01:10:32,428 --> 01:10:34,429
One of our satellites is faIling out of orbit.
1187
01:10:34,597 --> 01:10:37,015
-Which one?
-lt's the one that looks like a pair of--
1188
01:10:37,183 --> 01:10:40,435
Melons. Big, juicy melons.
1189
01:10:40,603 --> 01:10:42,604
Are they nice and firm?
1190
01:10:42,772 --> 01:10:44,606
Well, what do you think?
1191
01:10:44,774 --> 01:10:47,526
Look at that. lt looks like a set of giant--
1192
01:10:47,694 --> 01:10:49,278
[CHEERlNG]
1193
01:10:49,445 --> 01:10:53,282
-Hey, "A" and "N," you're Iate.
-How we doing? We're back.
1194
01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:55,784
MEN:
Go, Titans!
1195
01:10:55,952 --> 01:10:58,370
Check it out. Those remind me of--
1196
01:10:58,538 --> 01:11:00,873
-Boobs.
-Boobs, Ozzy?
1197
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:05,460
-These filmmakers are ****ing boobs.
-What do you mean, Dad?
1198
01:11:05,628 --> 01:11:10,215
They're using the same ****ing joke
as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
1199
01:11:10,383 --> 01:11:12,801
-What ****ing joke?
-You know, the ****ing joke...
1200
01:11:12,969 --> 01:11:15,470
...about the long smooth rocket
that looks like some guy's--
1201
01:11:15,638 --> 01:11:17,472
-Johnson.
-Yes, sir.
1202
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:21,310
-Any sign of that satellite?
-No, sir. lt's gone.
1203
01:11:21,477 --> 01:11:25,022
Gentlemen, you have my demands.
Peace out.
1204
01:11:59,599 --> 01:12:02,309
Cor, baby. You Iook very switched on.
1205
01:12:02,477 --> 01:12:03,518
[CHUCKLES]
1206
01:12:03,686 --> 01:12:05,395
Thank you, Austin.
1207
01:12:05,563 --> 01:12:06,897
Uh--
1208
01:12:08,524 --> 01:12:11,818
No, Mini Me. Off. Bad. Mustn't.
No humping.
1209
01:12:14,197 --> 01:12:17,115
Dr. Evil, in light of the success
of the device...
1210
01:12:17,283 --> 01:12:19,701
...it is Japanese custom
that I receive a bonus.
1211
01:12:19,869 --> 01:12:20,953
[GASPS]
1212
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,872
A bonus? Ha-ha-ha. That's good.
1213
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:25,707
Yeah, that's awesome.
1214
01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:28,377
Throw me a fricking bonus here.
Ha-ha-ha.
1215
01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:29,836
[CLEARS THROAT]
1216
01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:34,216
Oh, I haven't Iaughed that hard
since I was a little girl. Thank you.
1217
01:12:34,384 --> 01:12:36,593
-Hmm.
-Oh.
1218
01:12:36,761 --> 01:12:38,053
You're not joking.
1219
01:12:38,221 --> 01:12:40,389
No. ln fact,
if you don't give me the bonus--
1220
01:12:40,556 --> 01:12:42,683
SCOTT: Hey, Dad.
-Hey, Scotty. How are you, sport?
1221
01:12:42,850 --> 01:12:44,518
Whoa!
1222
01:12:50,984 --> 01:12:53,151
-Why don't you let me take care of this?
-Okay.
1223
01:12:53,319 --> 01:12:54,486
[YELLS]
1224
01:12:57,198 --> 01:12:59,199
[BOTH CHUCKLlNG]
1225
01:13:00,201 --> 01:13:01,576
[LAUGHS MANlACALLY]
1226
01:13:04,247 --> 01:13:05,414
Ugh.
1227
01:13:05,581 --> 01:13:07,040
He's got a good evil laugh.
1228
01:13:08,543 --> 01:13:09,876
Get along.
1229
01:13:10,044 --> 01:13:11,211
Scotty!
1230
01:13:12,005 --> 01:13:16,216
Scotty.
1231
01:13:16,384 --> 01:13:19,177
Take it down a notch.
1232
01:13:20,430 --> 01:13:21,596
lt's creeping a bit.
1233
01:13:22,015 --> 01:13:23,682
AUSTlN:
Let's go.
1234
01:13:27,937 --> 01:13:29,396
We'll need a disguise.
1235
01:13:30,898 --> 01:13:32,441
There's only one uniform.
1236
01:13:33,359 --> 01:13:36,611
One of us has to go on
the other one's shoulders.
1237
01:13:49,292 --> 01:13:52,169
Hey there, buddy. How's it going?
Good to see you.
1238
01:13:52,336 --> 01:13:55,297
Yeah. Yeah. Hi.
1239
01:13:56,799 --> 01:13:59,301
How are you? Just getting my sea legs.
Sorry about that.
1240
01:13:59,469 --> 01:14:00,802
Hello. You all right?
1241
01:14:00,970 --> 01:14:04,014
Yes, it's a good hat. Very good hat.
1242
01:14:05,224 --> 01:14:07,309
Come on, Mini Me. Let's go.
1243
01:14:08,311 --> 01:14:10,604
Hold it right there, mister.
1244
01:14:13,107 --> 01:14:16,318
Did you reaIly think
you could get away with this?
1245
01:14:16,486 --> 01:14:18,653
l did, actuaIly. Yes.
1246
01:14:18,821 --> 01:14:20,906
Every new recruit must have a physical.
1247
01:14:21,866 --> 01:14:23,617
Now get in here, sailor.
1248
01:14:23,785 --> 01:14:26,870
l'm going to need a urine sample.
1249
01:14:28,581 --> 01:14:29,831
Okay.
1250
01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,754
-[MOUTHS] No.
-[MOUTHS] I don't know.
1251
01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:40,008
Okay, then. Um....
1252
01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:46,223
Okay.
1253
01:14:55,316 --> 01:14:56,608
Hello.
1254
01:15:03,074 --> 01:15:05,826
And here we go.
1255
01:15:06,327 --> 01:15:07,661
Sorry.
1256
01:15:07,829 --> 01:15:10,288
Right. There you go. Right.
1257
01:15:10,456 --> 01:15:11,706
[GRUNTS]
1258
01:15:11,874 --> 01:15:13,125
AUSTlN: Ah, yes.
-Terrific.
1259
01:15:13,292 --> 01:15:15,377
Yes, good. Okay.
1260
01:15:15,545 --> 01:15:19,297
AIl right, sailor, go behind that screen...
1261
01:15:19,507 --> 01:15:21,341
...and strip down to your skivvies.
1262
01:15:21,509 --> 01:15:24,719
AIl right, then. I'll just go to that screen...
1263
01:15:25,513 --> 01:15:28,431
...which is over there.
1264
01:15:32,145 --> 01:15:33,812
Right behind that screen.
1265
01:15:35,148 --> 01:15:36,481
DOCTOR:
Next.
1266
01:15:38,317 --> 01:15:40,402
AUSTlN:
Come on, hurry. The map.
1267
01:15:40,987 --> 01:15:43,071
Okay, what's our plan?
1268
01:15:45,408 --> 01:15:47,826
-l'm going to need a urine sample.
-Okay.
1269
01:15:47,994 --> 01:15:49,578
Which way to the main chamber?
1270
01:16:08,264 --> 01:16:11,183
Okay, so.... Oh, sure.
1271
01:16:13,561 --> 01:16:15,353
Oh.
1272
01:16:23,237 --> 01:16:26,531
-Excuse me, doctor?
-lt's difficult in public, isn't it?
1273
01:16:34,790 --> 01:16:37,292
Mini Me, our shadows.
We're casting a shadow.
1274
01:16:37,460 --> 01:16:39,211
What's wrong, sailor?
1275
01:16:39,420 --> 01:16:41,588
You should check that guy out.
1276
01:16:42,715 --> 01:16:44,716
[AUSTlN WHlSTLlNG NONCHALANTLY]
1277
01:16:47,637 --> 01:16:49,054
What the hell's going on here?
1278
01:16:52,475 --> 01:16:53,892
Hands up.
1279
01:16:55,937 --> 01:16:58,813
You heard me. I said, hands up.
Both of you.
1280
01:17:01,484 --> 01:17:02,567
[GASPS]
1281
01:17:04,820 --> 01:17:06,821
[MlNl ME GRUNTS]
1282
01:17:07,657 --> 01:17:09,157
Oh.
1283
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:11,493
[GROWLS]
1284
01:17:11,661 --> 01:17:14,663
-Come with me.
-Mini Me, the map. Go.
1285
01:17:16,999 --> 01:17:19,793
Okay. You got me.
1286
01:17:22,213 --> 01:17:24,214
[MlNl ME SCREAMlNG]
1287
01:17:31,097 --> 01:17:32,347
Are you all right, little man?
1288
01:17:32,515 --> 01:17:34,015
Uh-huh.
1289
01:17:36,769 --> 01:17:38,270
Right on.
1290
01:17:39,855 --> 01:17:41,815
["SOMEWHERE BEYOND THE SEA"
PLAYlNG]
1291
01:17:55,037 --> 01:17:56,621
Mr. Powers.
1292
01:17:56,789 --> 01:17:58,373
Before I kill you...
1293
01:17:58,541 --> 01:18:02,002
...perhaps you'd like to see
the genius of my plan.
1294
01:18:04,297 --> 01:18:05,672
Key, please.
1295
01:18:09,802 --> 01:18:13,054
What the--? Who? But how? Where? Huh?
1296
01:18:13,222 --> 01:18:14,723
[AUSTlN LAUGHS]
1297
01:18:15,433 --> 01:18:16,891
-Looking for this?
-Huh?
1298
01:18:19,228 --> 01:18:21,021
-Mini Me?
-All right...
1299
01:18:21,188 --> 01:18:24,941
...everybody drop your guns,
because Foxxy Cleopatra's in the sub.
1300
01:18:25,109 --> 01:18:28,236
Smashing, Foxxy. Yeah.
1301
01:18:30,448 --> 01:18:32,574
SCOTT: Unh!
-Here, sugar.
1302
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,743
AIl right, Dr. Evil.
1303
01:18:34,910 --> 01:18:37,662
lt's finaIly come down to this.
1304
01:18:38,247 --> 01:18:41,875
You, me and a gun.
1305
01:18:44,462 --> 01:18:46,546
NlGEL:
What are you going to do now, Austin?
1306
01:18:48,591 --> 01:18:50,216
Dad?
1307
01:18:50,551 --> 01:18:52,969
What are you doing here?
1308
01:18:53,137 --> 01:18:56,097
l've gotta finish this off once and for aIl.
1309
01:18:57,767 --> 01:19:00,310
l'm afraid you can't do that.
1310
01:19:00,770 --> 01:19:02,437
l have to protect my son.
1311
01:19:02,605 --> 01:19:04,606
Dad, l'm fine.
1312
01:19:04,774 --> 01:19:06,941
l'm not taIking about you.
1313
01:19:07,902 --> 01:19:11,112
l'm taIking about him.
1314
01:19:13,991 --> 01:19:15,533
What?
1315
01:19:15,785 --> 01:19:19,120
Dr. Evil's not your son, I am.
1316
01:19:19,580 --> 01:19:21,122
-You both are.
-Huh?!
1317
01:19:23,042 --> 01:19:24,292
What?
1318
01:19:25,294 --> 01:19:29,130
lt was our first family holiday together.
1319
01:19:29,632 --> 01:19:31,633
NlGEL:
Just as I was finishing a case...
1320
01:19:31,801 --> 01:19:34,969
...your mother brought the two of you
to Belgium.
1321
01:19:37,932 --> 01:19:41,476
I stopped to have a tinkle when the car....
1322
01:19:51,821 --> 01:19:56,241
But my parents died in a car accident.
1323
01:19:56,409 --> 01:19:58,493
lt was no accident.
1324
01:19:58,911 --> 01:20:01,287
NlGEL:
It was an assassination attempt.
1325
01:20:01,455 --> 01:20:03,873
I thought only Austin survived.
1326
01:20:04,041 --> 01:20:06,334
I should have told you the truth earlier...
1327
01:20:06,502 --> 01:20:09,337
...but those Belgians,
they made you so damn...
1328
01:20:09,505 --> 01:20:10,797
...evil.
1329
01:20:11,590 --> 01:20:15,260
And, of course, they share a border
with the Dutch.
1330
01:20:16,512 --> 01:20:20,181
Very interesting story, Mr. Powers.
1331
01:20:20,349 --> 01:20:23,643
Of course, l'm gonna have to wait
until I see alI the facts.
1332
01:20:23,811 --> 01:20:25,437
Daddy.
1333
01:20:25,604 --> 01:20:26,855
[SOBBlNG]
1334
01:20:27,523 --> 01:20:29,524
Shh, Daddy's here, Dougie.
1335
01:20:29,692 --> 01:20:31,693
-Shh.
-Uh, "Dougie"?
1336
01:20:31,861 --> 01:20:33,778
-Dougie?
-Dougie. Remember, Dougie?
1337
01:20:33,946 --> 01:20:36,114
Dad, what's going on?
1338
01:20:39,869 --> 01:20:41,703
What are you going to do, Austin?
1339
01:20:55,217 --> 01:20:56,843
-Austin.
-Hmm?
1340
01:20:57,011 --> 01:20:58,845
Are you sure you can trust Dr. Evil?
1341
01:21:01,140 --> 01:21:03,057
He ain't heavy...
1342
01:21:03,392 --> 01:21:05,560
...he's my brother, baby. Yeah.
1343
01:21:08,564 --> 01:21:11,649
l should have toId you this
so long ago, son.
1344
01:21:12,526 --> 01:21:14,027
-l'm very proud of you.
-Unh!
1345
01:21:15,905 --> 01:21:19,532
-Can you forgive me?
-l forgive you, Dad.
1346
01:21:24,538 --> 01:21:26,206
[LAUGHlNG]
1347
01:21:26,373 --> 01:21:27,415
Come on.
1348
01:21:29,919 --> 01:21:31,252
Yes.
1349
01:21:34,632 --> 01:21:37,634
[SOBBlNG AND LAUGHlNG]
1350
01:21:40,763 --> 01:21:42,931
NlGEL:
My two sons.
1351
01:21:43,516 --> 01:21:47,101
l'm Dougie. l'm Dougie.
1352
01:21:50,397 --> 01:21:52,065
NlGEL:
Come on.
1353
01:21:53,108 --> 01:21:55,276
Oh, there you are.
1354
01:21:59,865 --> 01:22:01,366
Oh, come on.
1355
01:22:02,451 --> 01:22:05,078
l mean, first l'm not eviI enough for you.
1356
01:22:05,246 --> 01:22:07,455
And now you're gonna turn good?
1357
01:22:07,623 --> 01:22:09,082
Listen, Scott.
1358
01:22:09,250 --> 01:22:10,875
You can spend your whole life...
1359
01:22:11,043 --> 01:22:14,087
...trying to win your parents' acceptance,
beIieve me.
1360
01:22:15,047 --> 01:22:18,633
But at the end of the day,
you've just gotta do it for yourself, baby.
1361
01:22:18,801 --> 01:22:20,134
[MOCKlNG]
That all l've gotta do?
1362
01:22:20,302 --> 01:22:21,469
Hey, Austin? Shh!
1363
01:22:22,304 --> 01:22:23,596
What?
1364
01:22:23,973 --> 01:22:25,431
l hate you.
1365
01:22:26,308 --> 01:22:28,643
l hate you. I hate you.
1366
01:22:29,895 --> 01:22:32,939
l don't even know you,
but I hate you too.
1367
01:22:33,107 --> 01:22:34,774
And I especially hate you.
1368
01:22:37,820 --> 01:22:39,028
You'll pay.
1369
01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:41,114
You'll all pay.
1370
01:22:45,244 --> 01:22:49,372
l'd like to point out that no one else
in my gene pool runs like a girl.
1371
01:22:49,540 --> 01:22:51,332
Not so fast, smarty-pants.
1372
01:22:52,835 --> 01:22:54,168
Dr. Evil...
1373
01:22:54,336 --> 01:22:59,465
...you might not want to destroy the world,
but I do.
1374
01:23:00,634 --> 01:23:03,428
Preparation H goes ahead as planned.
1375
01:23:03,596 --> 01:23:05,263
l'm going to flood the Earth.
1376
01:23:06,599 --> 01:23:07,765
Think again, Goldmember.
1377
01:23:08,350 --> 01:23:10,685
Ah, Foxxy Cleopatra.
1378
01:23:10,853 --> 01:23:15,607
lt's a shame I had to kill your partner.
Too bad for you.
1379
01:23:15,774 --> 01:23:19,694
Too bad for me?
How about too bad for you?
1380
01:23:19,862 --> 01:23:21,362
Oh, no.
1381
01:23:21,530 --> 01:23:25,199
No! No! No!
1382
01:23:25,367 --> 01:23:27,785
No....
1383
01:23:27,953 --> 01:23:29,954
Luckily, I keep a spare.
1384
01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:35,710
[METAL CLlNKlNG]
1385
01:23:37,963 --> 01:23:39,130
Look, everyone.
1386
01:23:39,298 --> 01:23:41,382
My winkie was a key.
1387
01:23:41,550 --> 01:23:43,509
Only a bIoody Dutchman.
1388
01:23:43,677 --> 01:23:45,637
-Ha-ha-ha.
-You mine, sucker.
1389
01:23:49,058 --> 01:23:50,058
Yes.
1390
01:23:50,225 --> 01:23:51,893
Foxxy, l'm coming.
1391
01:23:52,311 --> 01:23:55,855
Nobody try anything stupid
or the shooting begins.
1392
01:23:56,023 --> 01:23:59,901
Austin. Take Dougie.
l'll stay here and be your backup.
1393
01:24:00,069 --> 01:24:05,156
-Dougie, what do we do?
-l'm not a real "hands-on evil genius."
1394
01:24:05,324 --> 01:24:07,575
Think. You were always the smart one.
1395
01:24:07,743 --> 01:24:11,829
Uh, I could reroute the output capacitor
to the tractor beam...
1396
01:24:11,997 --> 01:24:14,540
...from one of the conduit boxes up there.
1397
01:24:14,708 --> 01:24:15,875
Come on, let's go.
1398
01:24:21,757 --> 01:24:24,592
Yes. The shooting begins.
1399
01:24:28,097 --> 01:24:29,430
Let me shoot.
1400
01:24:34,853 --> 01:24:36,229
You know, Dr. Evil...
1401
01:24:36,397 --> 01:24:39,273
-...l used to think you were crazy.
-l know.
1402
01:24:39,441 --> 01:24:42,985
But now I can see you're nuts.
l thank you.
1403
01:24:44,697 --> 01:24:45,822
Give me the gun.
1404
01:24:48,784 --> 01:24:50,118
Ow!
1405
01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:00,378
[LAUGHS MANlACALLY]
1406
01:25:00,546 --> 01:25:02,130
Hurry.
1407
01:25:05,634 --> 01:25:07,844
-Father. Father. Father.
EVlL: Ow!
1408
01:25:08,470 --> 01:25:10,805
[SlNGS]
Father, can you hear me?
1409
01:25:10,973 --> 01:25:12,098
Father. Father.
1410
01:25:16,478 --> 01:25:17,645
lN UNlSON:
Wow!
1411
01:25:20,399 --> 01:25:21,733
[CHEERlNG]
1412
01:25:22,985 --> 01:25:27,321
Well done, Austin.
He saved the world again.
1413
01:25:27,489 --> 01:25:29,449
AUSTlN:
Hey, yeah.
1414
01:25:29,616 --> 01:25:30,742
Thank you.
1415
01:25:30,909 --> 01:25:32,201
Right on.
1416
01:25:32,369 --> 01:25:35,788
-Austin, you did it.
-We did it.
1417
01:25:35,956 --> 01:25:37,999
Yeah, baby.
1418
01:25:39,668 --> 01:25:42,670
No? Just trying it on.
1419
01:25:44,590 --> 01:25:45,923
Goldmember?
1420
01:25:46,508 --> 01:25:48,009
You under arrest, sugar.
1421
01:25:51,138 --> 01:25:53,306
Hey, assholes.
1422
01:25:53,474 --> 01:25:58,019
Do I have time for a last smoke
and a pancake, or what?
1423
01:26:02,149 --> 01:26:06,319
I am from Holland. Isn't that weird?
1424
01:26:08,947 --> 01:26:10,072
Yeah.
1425
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:12,450
Yes, well done.
1426
01:26:12,618 --> 01:26:14,660
Good on you, man.
1427
01:26:18,707 --> 01:26:19,707
Thank you.
1428
01:26:32,721 --> 01:26:34,055
[CHEERS]
1429
01:26:35,474 --> 01:26:36,474
Yes.
1430
01:26:38,602 --> 01:26:40,478
Hey, Powers.
1431
01:26:43,190 --> 01:26:47,026
Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore.
1432
01:26:47,194 --> 01:26:50,696
l went on the Subway diet.
You know, just like Jared.
1433
01:26:50,864 --> 01:26:53,074
l've lost 180 pounds.
1434
01:26:53,242 --> 01:26:54,826
Congratulations, baby.
1435
01:26:54,993 --> 01:26:58,663
Thank you. I do have a little bit
of excess skin, though.
1436
01:26:58,831 --> 01:27:00,414
Bit of a problem here, yeah.
1437
01:27:00,582 --> 01:27:04,669
And unfortunately,
my neck does look like a vagina.
1438
01:27:07,339 --> 01:27:09,215
MAN 1: Austin! Austin!
MAN 2: Over here.
1439
01:27:09,383 --> 01:27:12,051
[CROWD CHEERlNG]
1440
01:27:12,219 --> 01:27:13,636
WOMAN: Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1441
01:27:13,804 --> 01:27:15,596
MAN 3: Austin, you the boss!
-You all right?
1442
01:27:15,764 --> 01:27:18,182
MAN 4: Loved it!
-Okay.
1443
01:27:18,642 --> 01:27:19,851
Austin...
1444
01:27:20,602 --> 01:27:23,187
...thank you for everything.
1445
01:27:28,986 --> 01:27:30,903
[CROWD CHEERS]
1446
01:27:31,488 --> 01:27:32,780
Shazam.
1447
01:27:45,002 --> 01:27:48,421
l'm gonna get you, Austin Powers.
1448
01:27:49,256 --> 01:27:51,257
[LAUGHlNG MANlACALLY]
1449
01:28:20,245 --> 01:28:22,204
Well, they're using the same
****ing joke...
1450
01:28:22,372 --> 01:28:26,292
...as they did in the Iast Austin Powers
film-- Movie-- What was it?
1451
01:28:26,460 --> 01:28:28,127
Well, they're using the-- Well--
1452
01:28:28,295 --> 01:28:31,589
Well, they're using the same joke
that they did-- Oh.
1453
01:28:32,674 --> 01:28:34,717
-What do I mean?
KELLY: Ha-ha-ha.
1454
01:28:34,885 --> 01:28:37,511
-Boobs, Ozzy.
-Stop, do that again.
1455
01:28:37,679 --> 01:28:39,096
You're starting to laugh.
1456
01:28:39,264 --> 01:28:40,306
[LAUGHS]
1457
01:28:40,474 --> 01:28:44,018
OZZY: Oh, don't start, KelIy,
or I'll put you back in the refrigerator.
1458
01:28:45,854 --> 01:28:46,854
MAN:
One more.
1459
01:28:47,022 --> 01:28:48,731
-l don't like that.
-A little serious.
1460
01:28:48,899 --> 01:28:51,108
Don't make that noise, Sharon.
l'm getting turned on.
1461
01:28:51,276 --> 01:28:53,653
My testosterone is going dancing.
1462
01:28:54,863 --> 01:28:55,863
Get off me.
1463
01:29:00,953 --> 01:29:03,955
ls--? ls it true what they say about you?
1464
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:09,961
Kickstand. Really?
1465
01:29:10,128 --> 01:29:13,547
Um, can I give you my cell phone number?
1466
01:29:13,715 --> 01:29:14,882
PIease?
1467
01:29:17,302 --> 01:29:20,388
AUSTIN: Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Burt Bacharach.
1468
01:29:20,555 --> 01:29:24,558
[BURT BACHARACH SlNGlNG
"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW lS LOVE"]
98309
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