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1
00:01:07,717 --> 00:01:08,556
Houston...
2
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this is Condor.
3
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We are doing an EVA of the payload.
4
00:01:13,256 --> 00:01:16,241
We are about to present the module with...
5
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:18,380
What the...
6
00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:21,364
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
7
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Houston,
8
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we have a problem.
9
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Launch procedure commence.
10
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Oh, yeah!
11
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Oh, yes!
Yes!
12
00:01:49,061 --> 00:01:50,261
Oh God.
13
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And I am spent.
14
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Do you smoke after sex?
15
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I don't know baby, I never looked.
16
00:02:03,908 --> 00:02:04,927
Austin.
17
00:02:06,629 --> 00:02:07,709
What shall we do now?
18
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:09,180
Well, I have got an idea.
19
00:02:09,548 --> 00:02:10,849
Why don't we shag?
20
00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:11,942
Again?
21
00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:15,435
Sure baby. We are only up
to chapter 11 in the Kamasutra.
22
00:02:15,638 --> 00:02:17,625
Don't you wanna try the Wheelbarrow,
23
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,098
the Praying Donkey or the...
24
00:02:19,242 --> 00:02:20,864
Chinese Shag Swing?
25
00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:23,970
I am gonna get us some more
champagne, Jungle Boy.
26
00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,599
I am gonna get us some more
champagne, Jungle Boy.
27
00:02:32,508 --> 00:02:33,863
Are you ok?
28
00:02:34,031 --> 00:02:35,531
I have never felt better Austin.
29
00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:38,910
Alright then.
30
00:02:40,079 --> 00:02:42,397
I am just gonna go watch a movie.
31
00:02:45,918 --> 00:02:47,556
Hey, In Like Flint.
32
00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,079
That's my favorite movie.
33
00:02:58,014 --> 00:02:58,854
Vanessa,
34
00:02:59,047 --> 00:03:00,197
what's going on?
35
00:03:03,019 --> 00:03:04,711
I don't know what you mean Austin.
36
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:06,519
I am the same Vanes...
37
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He must be /
38
00:03:09,782 --> 00:03:11,748
tu imaginación está jugando con ti,
your imagination is playing with you,
39
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,738
querido.
Dear.
40
00:03:12,941 --> 00:03:14,526
Oh, my God!
41
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:20,120
Vanessa!
42
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,079
You are a Fembot!
43
00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:23,873
No shit, Sherlock.
44
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,146
Machine-gun jubblies?
45
00:03:28,712 --> 00:03:30,755
How did I miss those baby?
46
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:34,236
Perhaps next time you should try foreplay.
47
00:03:34,342 --> 00:03:36,602
Right.
Oh, my God.
48
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:57,256
Here is your wedding present, Mr. Powers.
49
00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:59,792
A kamikaze bride from me...
50
00:04:00,093 --> 00:04:01,670
Dr. Evil.
51
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,292
Oh, thank God.
52
00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:24,581
I can't believe Vanessa,
53
00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:26,417
my bride,
54
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,237
my one true love,
55
00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:32,893
the woman who taught me
the beauty of monogamy...
56
00:04:33,861 --> 00:04:35,238
was a Fembot...
57
00:04:35,639 --> 00:04:36,930
all along.
58
00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:39,594
Wait a tick?
59
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,001
That means I am single again.
60
00:04:42,161 --> 00:04:43,763
Oh behave!
61
00:04:45,081 --> 00:04:46,017
Yeah!
62
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,293
Yeah baby, yeah!
63
00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:50,243
Halt!
64
00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:07,379
Disgusting.
65
00:05:11,525 --> 00:05:13,317
Yeah baby, yeah!
66
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,585
Yeah.
67
00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:43,112
Hey, how are you?
Good to see you.
68
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,691
Good.
Hey. Yeah.
69
00:05:45,559 --> 00:05:46,679
Revolting.
70
00:05:49,981 --> 00:05:51,440
What's that?
What's that?
71
00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:54,621
Yes. Yeah, that looks good on you man!
72
00:05:54,777 --> 00:05:56,248
Hey, what's going on?
73
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,263
Good to see you guys.
74
00:05:57,721 --> 00:06:00,223
Yes.
Good to see you.
75
00:06:00,616 --> 00:06:01,767
Yeah.
76
00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:04,870
Rabbis, how are you?
Nice to meat.
77
00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:06,439
Yes, nice meat.
78
00:06:07,665 --> 00:06:08,620
Photo op.
79
00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:34,165
Yeah baby.
80
00:07:33,377 --> 00:07:35,953
Keep a close eye on that
Kreplachistan situation.
81
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:36,769
Sir.
82
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,030
Jerry, Jerry.
83
00:07:44,055 --> 00:07:45,249
Ok.
Thank you.
84
00:07:45,274 --> 00:07:46,724
Thank you very much.
85
00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,306
If you just joined us today's topic is:
86
00:07:49,331 --> 00:07:52,326
My father is evil and
he wants to take over the world.
87
00:07:54,399 --> 00:07:56,998
Ok, let's meet Scott Evil.
88
00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:03,429
Hi Scott.
89
00:08:03,453 --> 00:08:05,057
Nice to have you with us.
Thanks Jerry.
90
00:08:05,368 --> 00:08:06,743
Tell us about your father.
91
00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:11,624
Well, my dad is the head
of a worldwide evil organization with...
92
00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:13,409
aspirations of world domination.
93
00:08:15,336 --> 00:08:17,421
Pretty serious stuff.
Where is he now?
94
00:08:17,922 --> 00:08:18,971
He is like...
95
00:08:19,138 --> 00:08:20,530
cryogenically frozen,
96
00:08:20,554 --> 00:08:21,967
orbiting the Earth or something.
97
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,295
That's what you think.
98
00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:25,391
But we have a surprise for you Scott.
99
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,867
Ok, let's bring out Scott's father, Dr. Evil.
100
00:08:30,435 --> 00:08:31,165
What?
101
00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:32,904
I didn't... What?
102
00:08:35,273 --> 00:08:37,175
General, we have got a situation here.
103
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:41,754
What is it sergeant?
104
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:42,939
Hello Scott.
105
00:08:44,116 --> 00:08:45,407
Daddy is back.
106
00:08:46,227 --> 00:08:47,640
How could you do this to me?
107
00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:49,321
On national television.
108
00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:52,123
Well, throw me a fricking bone here Scott.
109
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:54,468
Why did you run out on me?
110
00:08:56,295 --> 00:08:58,129
Because you are not quite evil enough.
111
00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:01,132
Well it's true.
112
00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:03,927
You are quasi-evil.
113
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:05,637
You are semi-evil.
114
00:09:05,749 --> 00:09:07,621
You are the margarine of evil.
115
00:09:08,432 --> 00:09:10,667
You are the Diet Coke of evil.
116
00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:12,123
Just one calorie.
117
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,378
Not evil enough.
118
00:09:13,646 --> 00:09:15,396
What are you?
Some kind of freak?
119
00:09:15,485 --> 00:09:16,961
Hey shut up ♪♪♪♪ off!
120
00:09:16,985 --> 00:09:18,125
Ok. Ok, come on.
121
00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:21,319
I will kick your ♪♪♪ punk!
Bring it on, you skanky ♪♪♪♪♪.
122
00:09:21,487 --> 00:09:22,946
Alright, alright.
Come on.
123
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:25,378
No one talks to my son like that.
It's ok.
124
00:09:25,417 --> 00:09:27,503
You mother ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪ piece of ♪♪♪♪!
125
00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,058
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
126
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:30,516
Yeah ♪♪♪♪!
127
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,851
I will kick your ♪♪♪
128
00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:33,141
you ♪♪♪♪ ing ♪♪♪♪ sucker!
129
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:34,369
You piece of ♪♪♪♪!
130
00:09:36,711 --> 00:09:38,775
You were born in your mother's ♪♪♪♪,
131
00:09:38,799 --> 00:09:39,941
you ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪.
132
00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:41,674
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
I am ok.
133
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:42,818
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
I am ok.
134
00:09:42,941 --> 00:09:44,510
Jerry! Jerry!
Alright, you were born
135
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:45,943
in your mother's ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
136
00:09:46,346 --> 00:09:48,075
I will ♪♪♪♪ ing kill you!
137
00:09:48,099 --> 00:09:49,431
I will kill you both!
138
00:09:50,225 --> 00:09:51,982
There you go.
Great.
139
00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,263
There you go, I got your hood!
I got your hood!
140
00:09:55,522 --> 00:09:57,043
Settle down. Ok, settle down.
It's ok.
141
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,250
It's ok. Ok, ok.
142
00:09:58,275 --> 00:10:00,243
Calm down. It's only a television show.
Calm down.
143
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:03,028
Ok, I am alright. I am easy.
Ok. Everything ok?
144
00:10:03,055 --> 00:10:04,448
Alright, get this jerk out of here.
145
00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:06,740
I will give you a ♪♪♪ piece of ♪♪♪...
146
00:10:06,992 --> 00:10:08,284
You mother ♪♪♪♪♪♪.
147
00:10:11,037 --> 00:10:12,288
He is biting me!
148
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:13,518
He is biting me!
149
00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:15,040
The ♪♪♪♪er's biting me!
150
00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:16,759
♪♪♪♪ Off, you ♪♪♪♪!
151
00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:19,445
Give me that!
The world is mine!
152
00:10:19,713 --> 00:10:21,951
The world is mine, you ♪♪♪!
153
00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:36,981
You have got mail.
154
00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:38,589
Hello Basil.
155
00:10:38,649 --> 00:10:40,860
Hello Austin.
How was your honeymoon?
156
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,188
Well, it turns out that Vanessa was a Fembot.
157
00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:47,557
Yes, we knew all along sadly.
158
00:10:48,576 --> 00:10:51,244
Anyway, I have a new assignment
for you Austin.
159
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,452
You are scheduled for a photo shoot,
160
00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:56,750
and one of the models works for Dr. Evil.
161
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,168
Groovy baby!
162
00:10:58,336 --> 00:10:59,764
Shaguar!
163
00:11:09,565 --> 00:11:11,229
Show me to the models baby.
164
00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:13,217
Let the magic begin.
165
00:11:14,185 --> 00:11:15,676
Who have we got today?
166
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,388
Ok, great.
167
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:19,381
Austin, I have heard a lot about you.
168
00:11:19,406 --> 00:11:20,605
I am Rebecca Romijn.
169
00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:21,937
I don't believe I have had the pleasure.
170
00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:23,462
Well, of course you have not had...
171
00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:26,013
the pleasure Rebecca.
172
00:11:26,281 --> 00:11:27,840
We just met baby yeah.
173
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:33,819
Who are you baby?
174
00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:35,194
Ivana.
175
00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:37,965
Ivana Humpalot.
176
00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:39,719
Excuse me?
177
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:41,754
Ivana Humpalot.
178
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:44,066
And Ivana toilet made out of gold,
179
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:45,752
but it's just not in the cards now is it?
180
00:11:47,928 --> 00:11:48,928
You know.
181
00:11:49,388 --> 00:11:50,448
Ok, everyone.
182
00:11:50,472 --> 00:11:51,697
Let's get started.
183
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,708
Yes! Beautiful!
Feeling it!
184
00:11:53,975 --> 00:11:55,901
Let's get some smiles.
It's all in here.
185
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:57,268
That's it. Yes.
186
00:11:57,296 --> 00:11:59,000
Let's let the inside out.
187
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:00,414
Ok, you are an animal!
188
00:12:00,482 --> 00:12:03,085
Yes! There we go!
You are a tiger!
189
00:12:03,151 --> 00:12:04,453
You are Tony the Tiger!
190
00:12:04,486 --> 00:12:05,986
You are great!
191
00:12:06,154 --> 00:12:07,173
Very good.
192
00:12:07,198 --> 00:12:09,198
Loving it.
Now you are a lemur.
193
00:12:09,241 --> 00:12:11,450
Running as a pack.
Yes, yes, we go left.
194
00:12:12,452 --> 00:12:13,387
We go right.
195
00:12:13,412 --> 00:12:14,411
Yes, yes, yes.
196
00:12:14,496 --> 00:12:16,523
There is a predator out in the jungle.
What's going on?
197
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,622
Burrow!
Burrow!
198
00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:20,501
You are a lemur!
It's all you have got!
199
00:12:20,669 --> 00:12:22,869
You don't have sharp teeth capable of biting.
200
00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:25,307
Make interconnected tunnels
I like the Vietcong.
201
00:12:25,332 --> 00:12:26,587
And look! Look, look, look, look!
202
00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:28,667
I am not even shooting you.
It's crazy.
203
00:12:28,761 --> 00:12:29,862
And I am spent.
204
00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:32,639
Right, that's a wrap everyone.
205
00:12:33,349 --> 00:12:34,449
Miss Humpalot.
206
00:12:34,812 --> 00:12:35,901
Da, darling?
207
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,476
Shall we?
208
00:12:37,565 --> 00:12:38,953
Give me moment.
209
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:41,861
Yes.
210
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:52,009
Dr. Evil,
211
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,470
several years ago we invested in a small,
212
00:12:54,494 --> 00:12:56,371
Seattle-based coffee company.
213
00:12:57,832 --> 00:12:58,641
Today,
214
00:12:58,665 --> 00:13:01,637
Starbucks offers premium-quality coffee,
215
00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:03,520
at affordable prices.
216
00:13:04,496 --> 00:13:06,098
Delish.
217
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,043
Dr. Evil,
218
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:11,368
if we shift our resources
219
00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:13,204
away from evil empires
220
00:13:13,205 --> 00:13:14,990
and toward Starbucks,
221
00:13:15,057 --> 00:13:17,893
we can increase our profits fivefold.
222
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:18,986
Number Two,
223
00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:21,506
I make the decisions here, ok?
224
00:13:21,773 --> 00:13:23,569
I demand a little respect.
225
00:13:24,082 --> 00:13:26,984
Dr. Evil, you have a little of the...
226
00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:28,488
Silence!
227
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,694
I will not tolerate your insolence!
228
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:33,842
Frau Farbissina.
229
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,596
How are you?
230
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,543
Very good Doctor.
231
00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:38,940
How are things?
232
00:13:39,308 --> 00:13:42,844
I have come to embrace the love
that dare not speak its name.
233
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:44,980
To my right is my lover.
234
00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:47,307
We met at the LPGA tour.
235
00:13:47,674 --> 00:13:49,751
Her name is Unibrau.
236
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,098
Right on.
237
00:13:53,722 --> 00:13:54,970
Welcome Unibrau.
238
00:13:58,035 --> 00:13:58,935
Doctor you...
239
00:13:59,302 --> 00:13:59,918
What, what?
240
00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:00,868
You have a little...
241
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,842
milk, nose, mustache.
242
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:06,000
I know.
243
00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:07,076
I know, I know.
244
00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:08,835
Meant to.
245
00:14:08,996 --> 00:14:10,573
It's how we drink it in Belgium.
246
00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:12,570
It's called a Belgian Dip.
247
00:14:12,908 --> 00:14:13,924
Dr. Evil,
248
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,312
while you were frozen...
249
00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:18,497
we began a program,
250
00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:19,919
to clone you.
251
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:20,851
Cool.
252
00:14:20,852 --> 00:14:22,468
Send in the clone!
253
00:14:23,461 --> 00:14:26,072
He is exactly like you in every way...
254
00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:32,463
except one eighth your size.
255
00:14:34,847 --> 00:14:36,098
Breathtaking.
256
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:37,577
I shall call him...
257
00:14:39,394 --> 00:14:40,561
Mini-Me.
258
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:47,943
Your stock is rising, Number Two.
259
00:14:51,406 --> 00:14:53,013
Come Mr. Bigglesworth.
260
00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:56,342
Mini-Me,
261
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:57,719
are you hungry?
262
00:14:58,246 --> 00:14:59,354
Something to eat?
263
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:00,606
Not even a Hot Pocket?
264
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,500
An Eggo?
265
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,904
No. No, we don't gnaw on our kitty.
266
00:15:07,203 --> 00:15:08,536
Leave...
No.
267
00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:11,029
Leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone.
268
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:12,853
Just love him and stroke him.
269
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:15,986
As you know,
270
00:15:16,197 --> 00:15:19,088
every diabolical scheme that I have hatched,
271
00:15:19,426 --> 00:15:21,986
has been thwarted by Austin Powers.
272
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,603
And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
273
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:27,824
Because you never kill him when you
get the chance and you are a big dope?
274
00:15:29,065 --> 00:15:30,588
No, no, no, no, no.
275
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:32,000
No, no.
276
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,173
Down.
277
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:37,595
Down Mini-Me.
278
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,366
No.
279
00:15:38,691 --> 00:15:41,804
Austin Powers always defeats me
because he has...
280
00:15:41,921 --> 00:15:43,084
mojo.
281
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:44,542
Mojo?
282
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,019
Mojo.
283
00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:47,768
The libido,
284
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:48,853
the life force,
285
00:15:48,877 --> 00:15:50,548
the essence, the right stuff.
286
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,651
What the French call a certain...
287
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,077
I don't know what.
288
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,255
Ladies and gentlemen,
289
00:15:57,426 --> 00:16:01,051
I have developed a device
for traveling through time which I call...
290
00:16:01,518 --> 00:16:03,361
A time machine.
291
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,731
Using this time machine,
292
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:11,153
I am going to go back to the '60s
and steal Austin Powers' mojo.
293
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,667
If you have a time machine,
294
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:16,784
why not just go back and kill Austin
when he is sitting on the crapper something?
295
00:16:17,405 --> 00:16:18,257
How about...
296
00:16:18,522 --> 00:16:19,383
no...
297
00:16:19,571 --> 00:16:21,061
Scott, ok?
298
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:26,210
Why not use your knowledge of the future
to play the stock market?
299
00:16:26,378 --> 00:16:28,087
We could make trillions.
300
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,973
Why make trillions when we could make...
301
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,743
Billions?
302
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,063
A trillion is more than a billion numbnuts.
303
00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:39,862
Alright, zip it.
304
00:16:40,406 --> 00:16:41,774
You can't even...
Zip it!
305
00:16:42,187 --> 00:16:43,088
Zip.
306
00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:45,034
Look I am...
Ladies and gentlemen
307
00:16:45,058 --> 00:16:46,730
of the jury, ex-zip it A.
308
00:16:47,148 --> 00:16:48,495
Number Two, would you please back...
Look!
309
00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:50,276
I am Zippy Long stocking.
310
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,176
I can...
When a problem comes along,
311
00:16:53,294 --> 00:16:54,413
you must zip it.
312
00:16:55,399 --> 00:16:56,599
Zip it good.
313
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:58,367
Frau would you please...
314
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:02,513
Subtitle: Zip it.
315
00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:04,206
I am just trying...
Zip!
316
00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,793
Would you like to have a suckle
of my zipple?
317
00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:07,815
I want you...
Zip!
318
00:17:07,959 --> 00:17:08,855
Stop...
Zip!
319
00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:10,004
Zip it! Zip it!
This...
320
00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:10,957
All...
321
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:11,855
You know...
322
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:13,800
You are like a child.
323
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:15,231
Talking...
324
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:16,398
If you... Just...
325
00:17:16,593 --> 00:17:17,626
One time...
326
00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:20,290
Zip it. Unveil the time portal.
327
00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:32,584
As you know,
328
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:36,600
Austin Powers was frozen in 1967.
329
00:17:36,994 --> 00:17:40,079
Therefore, I will travel to 1969.
330
00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:42,728
Two years after he was frozen.
331
00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:44,415
He will be helpless.
332
00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:48,761
Ladies and gentlemen, I am about
to travel through time, I bid you adieu.
333
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,438
I am ok.
334
00:17:57,639 --> 00:17:58,511
I am ok.
335
00:17:59,847 --> 00:18:01,467
Not turned on, I suppose.
336
00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:02,449
Yeah.
337
00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:03,787
Do you think you could...
338
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:06,937
Yeah, thanks.
339
00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:08,324
Come Mini-Me!
340
00:18:13,028 --> 00:18:14,652
Don't be scared Mini-Me.
341
00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:27,524
Dr. Evil.
342
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,161
Welcome to 1969.
343
00:18:30,629 --> 00:18:32,255
Thank you, Number Two.
344
00:18:32,923 --> 00:18:34,393
You look so healthy...
345
00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:35,782
and youthful.
346
00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:36,892
Oh thank you.
347
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,537
Heil doctor.
348
00:18:39,071 --> 00:18:40,149
And Frau,
349
00:18:40,274 --> 00:18:41,481
you look so...
350
00:18:44,877 --> 00:18:46,199
Right.
351
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:50,564
You know, Dr. Evil, I received
your memo from the future.
352
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,535
Your new lair,
353
00:18:51,559 --> 00:18:52,631
is up and running.
354
00:18:53,026 --> 00:18:55,665
Is it a hollowed-out volcano, like I asked for?
355
00:18:56,863 --> 00:18:57,907
Of course.
356
00:18:59,742 --> 00:19:00,884
Good.
357
00:19:01,452 --> 00:19:04,030
Then it's all going perfectly to plan.
358
00:19:32,358 --> 00:19:34,526
Yeah, baby, yeah!
359
00:19:40,324 --> 00:19:41,992
When did you get the clapper?
360
00:19:42,159 --> 00:19:44,038
November 1964.
361
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:46,471
Dutch East Indies, shore leave.
362
00:19:46,789 --> 00:19:49,174
Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
363
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:52,227
I can guess baby.
364
00:19:52,795 --> 00:19:53,920
We play chess.
365
00:19:54,463 --> 00:19:55,769
I guessed wrong.
366
00:19:56,472 --> 00:19:58,102
It takes a keen intellect,
367
00:19:58,227 --> 00:20:00,129
to play chess Mr. Powers.
368
00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,798
I assume you know how to play.
369
00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,160
Of course baby.
370
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:30,561
What to do, what to do.
371
00:21:01,699 --> 00:21:03,568
Let me ask you a question.
372
00:21:04,535 --> 00:21:05,903
And be honest.
373
00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:08,664
Do I make you horny baby?
374
00:21:09,332 --> 00:21:10,374
Do I?
375
00:21:10,541 --> 00:21:12,648
Do I make you randy?
376
00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:13,836
Yeah?
377
00:21:16,214 --> 00:21:17,348
No more games.
378
00:21:18,145 --> 00:21:19,091
Dr. Evil,
379
00:21:19,285 --> 00:21:21,364
sent me here to kill you but, but...
380
00:21:21,511 --> 00:21:23,120
I find you so...
381
00:21:24,389 --> 00:21:25,397
Sexy and...
382
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:26,411
Yes.
383
00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:29,184
Just make love to me.
384
00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:30,994
Now Austin Powerovich.
385
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,268
Hurry.
386
00:21:37,568 --> 00:21:39,890
You are hairy, like animal!
387
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,871
Grr baby.
Very grr.
388
00:21:42,907 --> 00:21:45,484
Make love to me, monkey man.
389
00:21:46,703 --> 00:21:47,920
Dr. Evil I...
390
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:52,054
don't understand how we can hope
to steal Austin Powers' mojo.
391
00:21:52,418 --> 00:21:53,785
We have tried this before.
392
00:21:55,295 --> 00:21:57,839
The security around Powers is foolproof.
393
00:21:58,966 --> 00:22:02,593
But this time we have an operative
inside the Ministry of Defense.
394
00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:03,845
Really?
395
00:22:04,930 --> 00:22:06,256
Yes really.
396
00:22:08,611 --> 00:22:12,143
He is stealing Austin Powers' mojo
even as we speak.
397
00:22:12,438 --> 00:22:13,455
Really?
398
00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:16,580
Really.
399
00:22:19,111 --> 00:22:24,449
He is a disgruntled Scottish guard known for
his lethal temper and his unusual eating habits.
400
00:22:24,685 --> 00:22:26,353
He weighs a metric ton.
401
00:22:26,452 --> 00:22:27,430
His name:
402
00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:29,221
Fat Bastard.
403
00:22:32,207 --> 00:22:33,382
We have had reports,
404
00:22:33,624 --> 00:22:35,591
there is a spy
in the Ministry of Defense.
405
00:22:36,295 --> 00:22:38,629
The contents of this room
are vital to the country.
406
00:22:39,097 --> 00:22:41,015
Be on special alert.
407
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:42,867
Yes sir!
408
00:22:43,135 --> 00:22:43,934
And...
409
00:22:44,059 --> 00:22:46,529
try to lose some weight,
for God's sake.
410
00:22:47,098 --> 00:22:48,157
Yes sir!
411
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:54,581
Mr. English Colonel, telling me to lose weight.
412
00:22:55,148 --> 00:22:58,191
Oh, I am a hard case, he says.
413
00:22:58,456 --> 00:23:00,414
Well, listen up Sonny Jim,
414
00:23:00,602 --> 00:23:02,688
I ate a baby!
415
00:23:03,156 --> 00:23:04,323
Oh aye.
416
00:23:04,491 --> 00:23:05,372
Baby,
417
00:23:05,396 --> 00:23:07,331
the other Other White Meat.
418
00:23:07,660 --> 00:23:08,500
Baby,
419
00:23:08,524 --> 00:23:10,175
it's what's for dinner.
420
00:23:35,641 --> 00:23:39,060
Oh, I have got your mojo now, sonny Jim!
421
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:42,778
What's wrong?
422
00:23:43,272 --> 00:23:44,270
Crikey!
423
00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:46,848
I have lost my mojo.
424
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:55,236
Austin, the test results confirm
that you have lost your mojo.
425
00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,569
And it could not come at a worse time.
426
00:23:57,837 --> 00:23:59,926
We have evidence that Dr. Evil,
427
00:23:59,950 --> 00:24:01,791
has developed a time machine,
428
00:24:01,882 --> 00:24:04,843
and has traveled back to the year 1969.
429
00:24:05,413 --> 00:24:08,404
Luckily, we too have developed
a time-travel device,
430
00:24:08,429 --> 00:24:10,840
to transport you back to the '60s.
431
00:24:13,150 --> 00:24:13,774
This...
432
00:24:13,932 --> 00:24:15,916
is where you input your destination.
433
00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:17,315
Wait a tick.
434
00:24:17,383 --> 00:24:18,111
Basil,
435
00:24:18,135 --> 00:24:21,807
if I travel back to 1969
and I was frozen in 1967,
436
00:24:21,832 --> 00:24:24,335
presumably, I could go visit my frozen self.
437
00:24:24,507 --> 00:24:27,374
But, if I am still frozen in 1967,
438
00:24:27,554 --> 00:24:30,052
how could I have been unthawed
in the '90s and traveled back to...
439
00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:31,736
Oh, no, I have gone cross-eyed.
440
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,676
I suggest you don't worry about this sort of thing and...
441
00:24:34,786 --> 00:24:36,364
just enjoy yourself.
442
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,364
That goes for you all too.
443
00:24:38,957 --> 00:24:39,778
Yes.
444
00:24:40,317 --> 00:24:41,922
This is smashing Basil.
445
00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:43,684
I will go back to the '60s,
446
00:24:43,685 --> 00:24:45,680
recharge my mojo,
447
00:24:45,831 --> 00:24:48,690
defeat Dr. Evil and be back in time for tea.
448
00:24:49,014 --> 00:24:51,932
Swinging '60s, here I come baby, yeah!
449
00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:52,938
Move!
450
00:24:53,078 --> 00:24:53,675
Move!
451
00:24:53,812 --> 00:24:54,602
Move!
452
00:24:57,222 --> 00:24:58,889
No, Austin, no!
No!
453
00:24:59,203 --> 00:25:00,063
Sorry.
454
00:25:00,692 --> 00:25:02,024
I bet that's expensive.
455
00:25:02,049 --> 00:25:03,014
Quite alright.
456
00:25:04,946 --> 00:25:06,094
Oh! Stop! Stop!
Sorry, here we go.
457
00:25:07,563 --> 00:25:08,466
Almost.
Sorry!
458
00:25:08,491 --> 00:25:09,625
Easy, easy.
459
00:25:09,993 --> 00:25:11,803
God damn barrels, Austin.
460
00:25:11,828 --> 00:25:12,749
Yeah, see, here we go,
461
00:25:12,852 --> 00:25:13,985
here we go.
Alright.
462
00:25:14,606 --> 00:25:15,618
Yeah baby!
463
00:25:15,642 --> 00:25:16,661
Yeah!
464
00:25:17,959 --> 00:25:19,715
Godspeed Austin Powers.
465
00:25:38,898 --> 00:25:40,027
I am home.
466
00:25:50,935 --> 00:25:52,436
Austin Powers!
467
00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:54,590
Austin Powers?
Yes.
468
00:25:56,460 --> 00:25:59,072
I am back in the '60s, baby, yeah!
469
00:26:04,134 --> 00:26:05,758
Yeah, alright, there you are.
470
00:26:14,525 --> 00:26:15,197
Yeah!
471
00:26:18,900 --> 00:26:19,858
Hey, hey, hey.
472
00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:22,541
Get your hands off my heinie baby.
473
00:26:43,461 --> 00:26:44,887
Who are you today baby?
474
00:26:46,142 --> 00:26:48,049
My name is Robin Swallows.
475
00:26:48,713 --> 00:26:49,689
Swallows.
476
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:51,368
That's an interesting name.
477
00:26:51,888 --> 00:26:53,752
Maiden name is Spitz.
478
00:26:54,330 --> 00:26:55,560
Well, which is it baby?
479
00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:56,843
Spitz or Swallows?
480
00:27:45,719 --> 00:27:47,261
Those are skintight.
481
00:27:47,553 --> 00:27:49,638
How do you get into those pants baby?
482
00:27:50,015 --> 00:27:52,141
You can start by buying me a drink.
483
00:28:03,294 --> 00:28:04,170
I want.
484
00:28:04,521 --> 00:28:05,572
I want.
485
00:28:24,482 --> 00:28:25,775
You better play it cool.
486
00:28:25,799 --> 00:28:27,502
Your friend works for Dr. Evil.
487
00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:31,575
And just who do you work for baby?
488
00:28:34,871 --> 00:28:36,457
Tell me, Mr. Powers.
489
00:28:37,496 --> 00:28:38,746
Do you swing?
490
00:28:39,098 --> 00:28:40,418
Are you kidding baby?
491
00:28:40,833 --> 00:28:43,528
I put the grr in swinger baby!
492
00:28:45,007 --> 00:28:47,359
Then why don't you come right...
493
00:28:48,103 --> 00:28:48,840
over...
494
00:28:49,303 --> 00:28:49,923
here.
495
00:28:50,138 --> 00:28:51,763
Ok, I could do that.
496
00:28:53,178 --> 00:28:54,259
Easy.
497
00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:55,655
Cheeky.
498
00:29:06,191 --> 00:29:08,609
Prepare to die Powers!
499
00:29:10,487 --> 00:29:11,946
Use the machine gun!
500
00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:24,209
Say goodbye Powers!
501
00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:28,765
Use the bazooka!
502
00:29:29,841 --> 00:29:30,670
No!
503
00:29:40,768 --> 00:29:43,806
The fall will kill us both Powers!
504
00:29:54,014 --> 00:29:56,201
You can't win Powers.
505
00:29:58,523 --> 00:30:00,113
Why won't you die?
506
00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:07,139
Care for a ride?
507
00:30:11,466 --> 00:30:13,071
Go! Go! Go!
508
00:30:14,260 --> 00:30:16,136
Go!
509
00:30:19,391 --> 00:30:21,267
Austin Powers I presume.
510
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:22,858
Powers by name,
511
00:30:23,261 --> 00:30:25,147
Powers by reputation.
512
00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:28,054
Felicity Shag well, CIA.
513
00:30:28,567 --> 00:30:29,983
Shag well by name,
514
00:30:30,007 --> 00:30:32,445
Shag-very-well by reputation.
515
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:34,248
Oh, behave.
516
00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:36,660
Not if I can help it.
517
00:30:40,529 --> 00:30:41,565
Yes.
518
00:30:50,214 --> 00:30:51,548
You know what's remarkable,
519
00:30:51,817 --> 00:30:55,678
is how much England looks
in no way like southern California.
520
00:31:13,195 --> 00:31:14,184
Crikey!
521
00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:17,192
We have got company.
It looks like one of Dr. Evil's assassins.
522
00:31:40,311 --> 00:31:41,221
Steady now.
523
00:31:41,424 --> 00:31:42,157
Steady.
524
00:31:42,350 --> 00:31:43,305
Hands up.
525
00:31:45,061 --> 00:31:46,148
Do you remember me,
526
00:31:46,521 --> 00:31:47,547
Austin Powers?
527
00:31:48,023 --> 00:31:50,398
I don't recall your name, but your...
528
00:31:50,898 --> 00:31:51,731
fez...
529
00:31:52,114 --> 00:31:53,318
is familiar.
530
00:31:57,699 --> 00:31:59,333
My name is Mustafa.
531
00:31:59,993 --> 00:32:02,028
And I am the man who will be
killing you now.
532
00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:17,344
Who sent you?
533
00:32:17,511 --> 00:32:18,637
You will have to kill me.
534
00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:20,138
Who sent you?
535
00:32:20,447 --> 00:32:22,065
Kiss my ass Powers.
536
00:32:22,278 --> 00:32:23,612
Who sent you?
537
00:32:23,893 --> 00:32:24,927
Dr. Evil.
538
00:32:27,063 --> 00:32:28,164
That was easy.
539
00:32:28,350 --> 00:32:29,397
That was easy.
540
00:32:29,758 --> 00:32:30,866
Why did you tell us?
541
00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:33,694
I can't stand to be asked
the same question three times.
542
00:32:33,873 --> 00:32:35,133
It just irritates me.
543
00:32:35,488 --> 00:32:37,305
Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
544
00:32:37,526 --> 00:32:38,628
Why would he tell me?
545
00:32:38,653 --> 00:32:40,494
I am just one of his low level functionaries.
546
00:32:40,785 --> 00:32:42,412
Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
547
00:32:42,637 --> 00:32:44,411
You will have to torture me,
I will never tell you.
548
00:32:44,436 --> 00:32:45,599
Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
549
00:32:45,718 --> 00:32:47,089
Damn. Three times.
550
00:32:48,376 --> 00:32:49,289
He is hiding...
551
00:32:49,313 --> 00:32:51,211
in the secret volcano lair.
552
00:32:51,551 --> 00:32:54,339
Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
553
00:32:55,715 --> 00:32:57,051
I spit at that question!
554
00:32:57,426 --> 00:32:59,973
Do I really have to ask you two more times?
555
00:33:00,262 --> 00:33:01,864
Go to hell Powers.
556
00:33:02,348 --> 00:33:03,262
Fine.
557
00:33:03,891 --> 00:33:06,514
Where is Dr. Evil's secret...
558
00:33:06,850 --> 00:33:08,650
volcano lair?
559
00:33:09,106 --> 00:33:10,841
I will take it to the grave with me!
560
00:33:12,109 --> 00:33:14,026
You have to answer.
He asked three times.
561
00:33:14,194 --> 00:33:14,932
No, no, no.
562
00:33:14,957 --> 00:33:15,574
No!
563
00:33:16,738 --> 00:33:18,121
The second question was...
564
00:33:18,401 --> 00:33:20,277
Do I really have to ask you two more times?
565
00:33:20,677 --> 00:33:23,595
That would be the first question
in a new line of questioning,
566
00:33:23,713 --> 00:33:26,171
and would not count
in the other line of questioning.
567
00:33:26,288 --> 00:33:27,423
Yeah, he is right.
568
00:33:27,633 --> 00:33:30,046
I am just trying to get information
from you man.
569
00:33:30,071 --> 00:33:33,365
I don't need any consistency
in the questions, do I?
570
00:33:33,476 --> 00:33:35,538
No, no, you are preaching to the converted.
571
00:33:35,563 --> 00:33:36,398
I...
572
00:33:36,717 --> 00:33:38,476
Well, if I am preaching to the converted,
573
00:33:38,477 --> 00:33:41,762
then why are you being so slavish
to the three question form is my question?
574
00:33:41,930 --> 00:33:44,474
You are not even looking at me, man.
Now you are just being rude.
575
00:33:45,142 --> 00:33:46,509
You are not listening man.
576
00:33:51,114 --> 00:33:52,442
Oh, crikey.
577
00:33:56,987 --> 00:33:58,024
Well Austin,
578
00:33:58,125 --> 00:34:00,399
I think this time
you may have finally met your match.
579
00:34:00,490 --> 00:34:01,707
Oh no baby.
580
00:34:02,075 --> 00:34:05,454
I have beaten Dr. Evil before,
and I will beat him again.
581
00:34:05,621 --> 00:34:07,291
I was talking about me.
582
00:34:13,713 --> 00:34:14,760
Yeah.
583
00:34:15,757 --> 00:34:16,901
Hello up there.
584
00:34:17,019 --> 00:34:19,301
I seem to have fallen down a cliff.
585
00:34:19,555 --> 00:34:20,463
I am still alive,
586
00:34:20,487 --> 00:34:22,137
but I am very badly injured.
587
00:34:22,305 --> 00:34:24,092
I think my legs might be broken,
588
00:34:24,116 --> 00:34:25,723
but I will try to stand up.
589
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,367
Yes, they are broken.
590
00:34:28,561 --> 00:34:30,431
Perhaps you could toss me a Band-Aid
591
00:34:30,455 --> 00:34:32,544
or some antibacterial cream.
592
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,395
I am in an extraordinarily...
593
00:34:34,793 --> 00:34:36,393
large amount of pain.
594
00:34:36,544 --> 00:34:38,520
The bone has gone through the skin.
595
00:34:38,521 --> 00:34:40,646
I fear it might be gangrenous.
596
00:34:40,963 --> 00:34:43,630
The wound is beginning to smell a little like almonds,
597
00:34:44,153 --> 00:34:45,278
which is not good.
598
00:34:45,703 --> 00:34:46,411
Please?
599
00:34:47,246 --> 00:34:48,028
No one?
600
00:34:48,779 --> 00:34:50,463
Sorry.
I will try the other leg.
601
00:34:56,366 --> 00:34:58,264
Two of my assassins are dead.
602
00:34:58,749 --> 00:35:01,195
I will not tolerate failure.
603
00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:05,690
I am the man who will maintain
the dignity of this evil organization.
604
00:35:06,058 --> 00:35:07,259
What the hell was that?
605
00:35:08,164 --> 00:35:09,556
Volcanic eruption!
606
00:35:19,196 --> 00:35:20,815
May I present to you,
607
00:35:20,839 --> 00:35:23,533
my spy in the Ministry of Defense.
608
00:35:24,763 --> 00:35:26,247
Fat Bastard.
609
00:35:27,913 --> 00:35:29,362
First things first.
610
00:35:29,651 --> 00:35:31,040
Where is your shitter?
611
00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:33,685
I have got a turtle head poking out.
612
00:35:35,587 --> 00:35:36,588
Charming.
613
00:35:37,256 --> 00:35:38,514
I am not kidding.
614
00:35:38,882 --> 00:35:42,085
I got a crap on deck
that could choke a donkey.
615
00:35:43,696 --> 00:35:45,085
It's squidgey.
616
00:35:46,974 --> 00:35:49,426
Christ, I am getting all emotional
from it you know?
617
00:35:51,270 --> 00:35:52,570
Right.
618
00:35:52,938 --> 00:35:56,007
Fat Bastard, could I have my mojo, please?
619
00:35:56,775 --> 00:35:58,610
Where is my money?
620
00:35:58,950 --> 00:36:00,628
Alright, give him his money.
621
00:36:03,658 --> 00:36:06,354
Jesus Christ, he is tiny.
622
00:36:07,245 --> 00:36:10,073
I have had bigger chunks
of corn in my crap.
623
00:36:12,343 --> 00:36:13,617
Wait a minute.
624
00:36:14,961 --> 00:36:17,188
He kind of looks like a baby.
625
00:36:17,755 --> 00:36:20,632
Come here, I am gonna eat you!
626
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,744
I am bigger than you,
I am higher on the food chain.
627
00:36:24,012 --> 00:36:26,138
Get in my belly!
628
00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:27,309
Come on!
629
00:36:29,434 --> 00:36:31,574
You are lucky, wee man!
630
00:36:32,729 --> 00:36:33,954
Can I have a hug?
631
00:36:35,635 --> 00:36:36,685
Dr. Evil.
632
00:36:37,567 --> 00:36:39,355
Let me make you a deal alright?
633
00:36:40,111 --> 00:36:42,254
You get the mojo, you keep your money,
634
00:36:42,822 --> 00:36:44,724
and I will get your baby.
635
00:36:47,327 --> 00:36:48,578
Right.
636
00:36:50,330 --> 00:36:53,736
I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back, baby back, baby back, ribs.
637
00:36:53,833 --> 00:36:57,629
I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back, baby back, baby back, ribs.
638
00:36:57,959 --> 00:36:58,900
Excuse me.
639
00:36:59,746 --> 00:37:02,980
Chili, baby back ribs
640
00:37:03,344 --> 00:37:04,347
Dr. Evil,
641
00:37:04,755 --> 00:37:06,558
what are we going to do about Powers?
642
00:37:06,931 --> 00:37:10,133
Austin Powers is no longer a threat to me.
643
00:37:10,935 --> 00:37:12,703
I have his mojo.
644
00:37:50,057 --> 00:37:51,357
Alright everyone.
645
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:52,896
You are dismissed.
646
00:37:54,062 --> 00:37:55,371
Private time.
647
00:38:27,887 --> 00:38:31,065
Dr. Evil, I don't want
this to interfere with our work.
648
00:38:31,604 --> 00:38:32,971
Don't worry mama.
649
00:38:33,768 --> 00:38:35,293
Things won't get weird.
650
00:38:44,446 --> 00:38:45,501
One for me.
651
00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,056
And one for my homeys.
652
00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,089
Herr Doktor.
653
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:25,137
Hello.
654
00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:27,530
So, what happened here?
655
00:39:27,916 --> 00:39:29,967
Apparently a rogue agent named Fat Bastard,
656
00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:32,752
infiltrated the unit assigned
to guard your chamber.
657
00:39:32,854 --> 00:39:34,110
He used some sort of nerve gas.
658
00:39:34,134 --> 00:39:35,775
These men don't remember a thing.
659
00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:37,446
Captain,
660
00:39:37,470 --> 00:39:39,740
Why don't you crosscheck Fat Bastard's profile,
661
00:39:39,764 --> 00:39:41,002
with the mainframe at Langley?
662
00:39:41,114 --> 00:39:41,940
Yes ma'am.
663
00:39:42,221 --> 00:39:44,014
Can I borrow that please?
Thank you.
664
00:39:44,147 --> 00:39:45,841
Yes Austin, yes, yes.
665
00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:48,124
Look at me.
I am a sexy bitch,
666
00:39:48,148 --> 00:39:49,342
baby, yeah.
667
00:39:49,486 --> 00:39:51,115
You are a Popsicle, yes.
668
00:39:51,293 --> 00:39:52,336
Yes. No!
669
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,086
No!
670
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:54,918
And I am spent.
671
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:56,966
Let's go baby.
672
00:39:56,990 --> 00:39:57,966
Yeah!
673
00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:03,943
Hey there.
How are you?
674
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,345
Come on Felicity, come on.
675
00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:49,993
Yeah babe!
676
00:40:52,869 --> 00:40:53,923
Shall we sit down?
677
00:40:54,070 --> 00:40:55,012
Yeah.
Yeah.
678
00:40:55,428 --> 00:40:56,442
This is great.
679
00:40:56,699 --> 00:40:57,678
Groovy.
680
00:40:59,917 --> 00:41:00,991
So Austin,
681
00:41:01,462 --> 00:41:02,530
what's the future like?
682
00:41:03,139 --> 00:41:03,991
Well...
683
00:41:04,186 --> 00:41:05,940
everyone has a flying car,
684
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:08,240
entire meals come in pill form,
685
00:41:08,509 --> 00:41:11,462
and the Earth is ruled
by damned dirty Apes!
686
00:41:12,722 --> 00:41:13,763
Oh, my God.
687
00:41:14,307 --> 00:41:15,569
Had you for a second.
688
00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,509
You can have me for even longer, if you want.
689
00:41:20,521 --> 00:41:22,973
You are one groovy baby.
690
00:41:25,276 --> 00:41:26,113
Baby.
691
00:41:28,112 --> 00:41:29,488
Too many babies.
692
00:41:31,324 --> 00:41:33,384
Don't you dare move.
693
00:41:36,956 --> 00:41:41,299
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach
and Mr. Elvis Costello.
694
00:41:45,985 --> 00:41:49,382
♪ What do you get when you fall in love? ♪
695
00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:53,624
♪ A guy with a pin to burst your bubble ♪
Would you care to dance?
696
00:41:53,648 --> 00:41:57,241
I would love to.
♪ That's what you get for all your trouble ♪
697
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:03,800
♪ I will never fall in love again ♪
698
00:42:04,768 --> 00:42:08,706
♪ I will never fall in love again ♪
699
00:42:10,322 --> 00:42:14,759
♪ Don't tell me what it's all about ♪
700
00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:19,247
♪ Because I have been there ♪
♪ And I am glad I am out ♪
701
00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:23,042
♪ Out of those chains ♪
♪ Those chains that bind you ♪
702
00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:27,088
♪ That is why I am here to remind you ♪
703
00:42:27,256 --> 00:42:30,591
♪ What do you get when you fall in love ♪
704
00:42:30,759 --> 00:42:34,513
♪ You only get lies and pain and sorrow ♪
705
00:42:34,681 --> 00:42:38,308
♪ So for at least until tomorrow ♪
706
00:42:38,476 --> 00:42:45,206
♪ I will never fall in love again ♪
707
00:42:45,977 --> 00:42:52,739
♪ I will never fall in love again ♪
708
00:42:52,740 --> 00:42:54,358
You are quite good on your feet.
709
00:42:54,826 --> 00:42:56,602
I am even better off my feet.
710
00:43:10,341 --> 00:43:12,342
Oh, behave baby.
711
00:43:19,034 --> 00:43:20,034
Hi.
Hi.
712
00:43:20,143 --> 00:43:21,143
Hi there.
713
00:43:23,438 --> 00:43:24,381
How are things?
714
00:43:24,405 --> 00:43:25,729
Good Herr Doktor.
715
00:43:26,005 --> 00:43:27,067
And you?
Great.
716
00:43:27,693 --> 00:43:28,458
Great.
717
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,804
Just taking a break?
718
00:43:32,489 --> 00:43:34,925
Try the Hot Pockets.
They are breathtaking.
719
00:43:39,079 --> 00:43:40,655
It got weird didn't it?
Yeah.
720
00:43:41,123 --> 00:43:42,165
I knew it.
721
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,487
You have not called.
722
00:43:45,002 --> 00:43:46,323
Look, we talked about this.
723
00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:48,572
We promised each other
it would not get weird.
724
00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:52,675
I can't let my feelings for you interfere
with my taking over the world.
725
00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:53,717
You know that.
726
00:43:54,428 --> 00:43:55,287
You know,
727
00:43:55,311 --> 00:43:57,264
I will never love another man.
728
00:43:59,861 --> 00:44:01,060
Yes, that's true.
729
00:44:01,727 --> 00:44:02,474
Yeah.
730
00:44:04,772 --> 00:44:05,818
Dr. Evil,
731
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:07,255
I am late.
732
00:44:07,558 --> 00:44:09,234
No, you got here right on time.
No.
733
00:44:09,902 --> 00:44:10,845
I mean...
734
00:44:11,291 --> 00:44:13,034
I am late.
735
00:44:20,746 --> 00:44:21,500
Dad.
736
00:44:23,063 --> 00:44:24,031
Scott.
737
00:44:25,084 --> 00:44:26,344
Hey there sport.
738
00:44:27,336 --> 00:44:28,670
What are you doing here?
739
00:44:28,838 --> 00:44:30,169
I was just thinking that...
740
00:44:30,470 --> 00:44:32,287
maybe we can work all this out.
741
00:44:32,737 --> 00:44:33,701
After all you are...
742
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,164
my father.
743
00:44:35,470 --> 00:44:36,209
Scott,
744
00:44:37,245 --> 00:44:38,497
you had your chance,
745
00:44:38,748 --> 00:44:39,483
ok?
746
00:44:39,766 --> 00:44:42,207
I already had someone created in my image.
747
00:44:42,402 --> 00:44:44,621
He is evil, he wants to take over the world,
748
00:44:44,729 --> 00:44:47,378
and he fits easily into most
overhead storage bins.
749
00:44:48,608 --> 00:44:49,650
Him?
Yes.
750
00:44:49,973 --> 00:44:51,548
Look at him.
He is crazy.
751
00:44:51,861 --> 00:44:53,485
He is like a vicious little...
752
00:44:53,856 --> 00:44:55,025
Chihuahua thing.
753
00:44:56,449 --> 00:44:58,283
He will kill me the first chance he gets.
754
00:44:58,451 --> 00:44:59,329
Probably.
755
00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:02,031
I love you.
756
00:45:02,532 --> 00:45:03,443
I love you.
757
00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:15,714
I am a sexy bitch, yes.
758
00:45:16,261 --> 00:45:17,308
Felicity,
759
00:45:17,432 --> 00:45:19,253
make yourself at home baby.
760
00:45:19,848 --> 00:45:21,974
What do you think of my shag pad darling?
761
00:45:22,142 --> 00:45:24,142
It's amazing Austin.
762
00:45:28,482 --> 00:45:29,603
Wait a tick.
763
00:45:35,948 --> 00:45:38,352
That's how my mojo was stolen.
764
00:45:38,353 --> 00:45:39,408
Fat Bastard.
765
00:45:41,370 --> 00:45:43,062
She is a professional agent.
766
00:45:43,086 --> 00:45:45,432
She is not interested in shagging.
767
00:45:46,106 --> 00:45:47,020
Please God.
768
00:45:47,598 --> 00:45:49,637
Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.
769
00:45:49,672 --> 00:45:50,444
Austin?
770
00:45:50,710 --> 00:45:52,035
I am waiting.
771
00:45:58,762 --> 00:46:01,815
How about one of your
world famous massages.
772
00:46:02,850 --> 00:46:03,916
You mean a...
773
00:46:04,182 --> 00:46:06,390
sensual massage?
774
00:46:06,990 --> 00:46:08,062
Right, then.
775
00:46:09,037 --> 00:46:09,898
Ok.
776
00:46:11,108 --> 00:46:12,132
Here we go.
777
00:46:12,406 --> 00:46:13,067
Yes.
778
00:46:18,175 --> 00:46:20,861
Oh, wait a minute.
Something is itching me.
779
00:46:22,795 --> 00:46:23,889
That's better.
780
00:46:24,356 --> 00:46:25,382
Crikey.
781
00:46:34,090 --> 00:46:35,775
How does that feel baby?
782
00:46:36,343 --> 00:46:37,443
Lower.
783
00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:40,271
How does that feel baby?
784
00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:43,010
What?
785
00:46:43,339 --> 00:46:44,807
You don't have to be cute with me.
786
00:46:44,930 --> 00:46:46,222
We are way past that.
787
00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:48,062
We are?
788
00:46:48,647 --> 00:46:49,656
What do you think?
789
00:46:51,733 --> 00:46:52,909
Listen Felicity.
790
00:46:55,070 --> 00:46:56,093
I am sorry.
791
00:46:57,447 --> 00:46:58,814
I can't do this.
792
00:47:00,617 --> 00:47:01,630
I have to go.
793
00:47:06,036 --> 00:47:06,872
Is it me?
794
00:47:09,334 --> 00:47:10,793
I can't explain.
795
00:47:22,735 --> 00:47:24,079
Hello Agent Shagwell.
796
00:47:24,305 --> 00:47:25,475
Where is Austin?
797
00:47:25,643 --> 00:47:28,728
I must have said something wrong,
so he just left all of a sudden.
798
00:47:29,313 --> 00:47:30,570
Listen Felicity,
799
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,733
I don't want you getting
too close to Austin.
800
00:47:33,901 --> 00:47:35,719
It's not meant to be.
801
00:47:36,279 --> 00:47:38,196
I don't get too close to anybody Basil.
802
00:47:38,364 --> 00:47:40,533
My interest is purely professional.
803
00:47:40,558 --> 00:47:41,299
Good.
804
00:47:41,596 --> 00:47:44,431
Then you won't mind tracking down
Fat Bastard tonight.
805
00:47:44,614 --> 00:47:45,614
No problem.
806
00:47:45,830 --> 00:47:48,312
We need you to plant this homing device
on him,
807
00:47:48,336 --> 00:47:50,475
by any means necessary.
808
00:47:50,543 --> 00:47:51,668
No problem.
809
00:47:52,003 --> 00:47:53,695
Keep up the good work.
810
00:47:53,963 --> 00:47:55,027
Remember,
811
00:47:55,051 --> 00:47:56,774
by any means necessary.
812
00:48:15,152 --> 00:48:16,694
Look at yourself.
813
00:48:17,404 --> 00:48:19,693
You used to be so virile.
814
00:48:21,199 --> 00:48:22,992
You were a swinger man.
815
00:48:24,244 --> 00:48:25,841
And now you are nothing.
816
00:48:28,493 --> 00:48:30,378
But at least it can't get any worse.
817
00:48:31,627 --> 00:48:34,175
Well, surprise, surprise?
818
00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:35,894
Look at that meal.
819
00:48:36,983 --> 00:48:38,613
I am dead sexy.
820
00:48:38,759 --> 00:48:41,085
Look at my sexy body.
821
00:48:41,238 --> 00:48:42,720
Oh, yeah.
822
00:48:42,888 --> 00:48:44,881
Oh, look, I am like a singer.
823
00:48:45,349 --> 00:48:48,392
♪ Sexy man, sexy man. ♪
824
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,312
♪ Eating like a sexy man can ♪
825
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,543
By the way,
826
00:48:52,981 --> 00:48:55,191
would you like some chicken?
I have got more.
827
00:48:55,359 --> 00:48:56,262
No, thanks.
828
00:48:57,569 --> 00:48:59,091
Let's see, what have we got here?
829
00:48:59,115 --> 00:49:00,113
I am done with that.
830
00:49:00,781 --> 00:49:02,111
Alright then.
831
00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:06,744
I will just put this down here.
832
00:49:11,709 --> 00:49:12,646
Remember,
833
00:49:12,670 --> 00:49:14,866
by any means necessary.
834
00:49:15,303 --> 00:49:16,970
Must have eaten them already.
835
00:49:20,134 --> 00:49:22,168
Frisky, are we?
836
00:49:23,221 --> 00:49:24,408
Give it up!
837
00:49:25,348 --> 00:49:26,529
Ladies and gentlemen,
838
00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:30,197
we are about to begin phase two,
of our evil project.
839
00:49:30,222 --> 00:49:31,365
Or is it phase?
840
00:49:31,413 --> 00:49:32,738
I don't know phases.
841
00:49:33,106 --> 00:49:33,902
Anyways,
842
00:49:34,078 --> 00:49:36,207
this is the phase in which we put a giant...
843
00:49:36,657 --> 00:49:38,777
laser, on the moon.
844
00:49:39,045 --> 00:49:40,087
As you know,
845
00:49:40,088 --> 00:49:42,899
the moon rotates around the Earth, like so...
846
00:49:49,789 --> 00:49:52,436
When the moon reaches its appropriate...
847
00:49:52,757 --> 00:49:54,225
lunar alignment,
848
00:49:54,393 --> 00:49:56,928
it will destroy Washington D.C.
849
00:49:57,273 --> 00:50:01,350
You see, I have turned the moon
into what I like to call,
850
00:50:01,772 --> 00:50:03,681
A death star.
851
00:50:06,180 --> 00:50:06,859
What?
852
00:50:06,937 --> 00:50:08,179
No nothing Darth.
853
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:09,767
What did you call me?
854
00:50:09,935 --> 00:50:10,880
No, nothing.
855
00:50:11,277 --> 00:50:12,303
Rip-off!
856
00:50:13,647 --> 00:50:14,482
Bless you.
857
00:50:15,107 --> 00:50:17,900
Anyways, the key to this plan
is the giant laser.
858
00:50:18,168 --> 00:50:20,950
It was invented by the noted
Cambridge physicist,
859
00:50:20,975 --> 00:50:22,145
Dr. Parsons.
860
00:50:22,272 --> 00:50:24,034
Therefore we shall call it,
861
00:50:24,379 --> 00:50:26,833
the Alan Parsons Project.
862
00:50:26,969 --> 00:50:28,462
Oh, my God.
863
00:50:29,906 --> 00:50:30,791
What now?
864
00:50:30,816 --> 00:50:34,586
The Alan Parsons Project
is a progressive rock band in 1982.
865
00:50:35,223 --> 00:50:37,814
Why don't you just call it
Operation Wang Chung,
866
00:50:37,838 --> 00:50:38,750
ass...
867
00:50:39,277 --> 00:50:40,442
Well, what should we...
868
00:50:40,466 --> 00:50:43,112
Nothing. I am sure Operation
Bananarama will be huge.
869
00:50:43,309 --> 00:50:44,316
What are you saying?
870
00:50:44,513 --> 00:50:45,183
If you...
871
00:50:45,879 --> 00:50:47,128
Trying to be hip...
872
00:50:47,153 --> 00:50:48,408
WWWdot...
873
00:50:48,432 --> 00:50:49,271
dot COM
874
00:50:49,349 --> 00:50:50,244
Dot-org.
875
00:50:50,268 --> 00:50:50,973
You are so...
876
00:50:52,269 --> 00:50:53,205
Dr. Evil,
877
00:50:53,229 --> 00:50:55,770
if we could put aside
the family squabbling for a moment...
878
00:50:56,106 --> 00:50:58,425
I think we can get down
to some serious business here.
879
00:50:59,193 --> 00:51:00,467
Really?
Yeah.
880
00:51:00,998 --> 00:51:02,749
I don't like that insolent tone.
881
00:51:02,963 --> 00:51:04,554
I meant nothing by it.
No, no, no.
882
00:51:04,579 --> 00:51:06,218
No, you want to run things here?
883
00:51:06,242 --> 00:51:07,138
No, not at all.
884
00:51:07,699 --> 00:51:09,033
You wanna be daddy?
885
00:51:09,057 --> 00:51:10,427
Is that it, Number Two?
What...
886
00:51:10,692 --> 00:51:12,276
You wanna wear the daddy pants?
887
00:51:12,301 --> 00:51:13,395
Are you gonna cry?
888
00:51:13,420 --> 00:51:14,728
Are you gonna cry?
I don't think so.
889
00:51:15,576 --> 00:51:17,057
You gonna cry?
You gonna cry?
890
00:51:17,502 --> 00:51:18,213
Wait...
891
00:51:19,005 --> 00:51:20,714
Are you gonna squirt some?
Are you gonna cry?
892
00:51:21,841 --> 00:51:23,869
Yeah, see, you are gonna cry?
You are a big man now?
893
00:51:24,322 --> 00:51:25,052
Yeah.
894
00:51:25,220 --> 00:51:26,254
Thought so.
895
00:51:48,243 --> 00:51:49,274
Felicity.
896
00:51:50,027 --> 00:51:51,069
Austin.
897
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,165
About what happened last night.
898
00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:55,157
That's ok.
You don't have to explain.
899
00:51:55,291 --> 00:51:56,333
No, no, no, no, no.
900
00:51:56,420 --> 00:51:58,221
You don't understand.
You see...
901
00:52:00,464 --> 00:52:02,053
I have lost my mojo.
902
00:52:04,426 --> 00:52:05,717
So that's why you...
903
00:52:05,772 --> 00:52:07,084
Yes, yes.
904
00:52:09,056 --> 00:52:10,665
I thought you didn't like me.
905
00:52:10,933 --> 00:52:13,718
Oh, no baby.
You are very shagadelic.
906
00:52:14,186 --> 00:52:16,104
I just didn't wanna fall in love again,
907
00:52:16,129 --> 00:52:18,831
and I thought you'd never love me
without my mojo.
908
00:52:19,441 --> 00:52:20,417
It's not you.
909
00:52:20,584 --> 00:52:21,585
You are fab.
910
00:52:21,610 --> 00:52:23,837
You are switched on.
You are a bit of alright.
911
00:52:23,861 --> 00:52:24,838
Yes.
912
00:52:26,730 --> 00:52:28,105
That is so great.
913
00:52:28,582 --> 00:52:30,285
There is something I should tell you too.
914
00:52:30,452 --> 00:52:33,413
Last night, I planted a homing
device on Fat Bastard.
915
00:52:33,690 --> 00:52:34,931
Smashing baby,
916
00:52:34,955 --> 00:52:37,317
then we can track down
Fat Bastard, get my mojo,
917
00:52:37,342 --> 00:52:38,393
go back to my place,
918
00:52:38,417 --> 00:52:40,162
hop on the good foot and do the bad thing.
919
00:52:41,925 --> 00:52:42,869
But there is more.
920
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,150
In order to get close to Fat Bastard,
921
00:52:45,174 --> 00:52:46,051
I had to...
922
00:52:46,114 --> 00:52:47,114
Hello, hello!
923
00:52:47,262 --> 00:52:48,445
The signal is coming through.
924
00:52:48,469 --> 00:52:49,762
He is at Paddington Station.
925
00:52:49,921 --> 00:52:50,857
Let's go!
926
00:52:53,903 --> 00:52:55,101
We are close baby.
927
00:52:55,269 --> 00:52:56,981
This way.
This way straight, no, no, left.
928
00:52:57,306 --> 00:52:58,306
Through here.
929
00:53:01,860 --> 00:53:02,751
We have got him.
930
00:53:02,775 --> 00:53:04,012
Private bring up the ram.
931
00:53:09,817 --> 00:53:10,697
Go, go, go!
932
00:53:11,453 --> 00:53:12,304
Where is he?
933
00:53:13,955 --> 00:53:15,807
Oh, my God!
934
00:53:15,832 --> 00:53:18,567
Fat Bastard left a floater!
935
00:53:18,936 --> 00:53:21,655
In the name of all things sacred,
that is the most...
936
00:53:21,794 --> 00:53:24,006
foul-smelling thing ever!
937
00:53:24,174 --> 00:53:25,841
Somebody flush it down.
938
00:53:26,009 --> 00:53:27,226
No, no.
Nobody touch anything.
939
00:53:27,227 --> 00:53:29,787
We have to get this sample
to the lab to be analyzed.
940
00:53:31,973 --> 00:53:33,161
I am gonna get it.
941
00:53:42,131 --> 00:53:43,413
Austin, there you are.
942
00:53:43,566 --> 00:53:45,107
Has the sample been analyzed?
943
00:53:45,612 --> 00:53:46,545
Cor baby.
944
00:53:46,569 --> 00:53:49,190
You look very shagadelic, yeah.
945
00:53:50,643 --> 00:53:52,877
But do we really have to be here,
946
00:53:52,950 --> 00:53:55,364
Felicity? I mean it's so boring.
947
00:53:55,831 --> 00:53:57,621
I don't believe in science.
948
00:53:57,959 --> 00:54:00,184
When it comes to the spy game to me,
949
00:54:01,045 --> 00:54:02,337
it's all instinct.
950
00:54:07,982 --> 00:54:09,983
Hello everybody.
Hello Basil.
951
00:54:10,092 --> 00:54:11,609
The results are in.
952
00:54:12,056 --> 00:54:15,034
We have discovered trace elements
of a rare vegetable,
953
00:54:15,098 --> 00:54:17,117
found only on one island,
954
00:54:17,141 --> 00:54:18,643
here, in the Caribbean.
955
00:54:19,282 --> 00:54:20,533
Whoop-pee-doo!
956
00:54:20,558 --> 00:54:22,685
What does it all mean, Basil?
957
00:54:23,067 --> 00:54:24,207
It means that...
958
00:54:24,364 --> 00:54:27,726
this is the location of Dr. Evil's lair.
959
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:29,456
Smashing Basil.
960
00:54:30,324 --> 00:54:31,354
Cor.
961
00:54:31,867 --> 00:54:34,299
This coffee smells like shit.
962
00:54:37,164 --> 00:54:39,081
It is shit Austin.
963
00:54:40,084 --> 00:54:41,952
Oh, good, then it's not just me.
964
00:54:47,374 --> 00:54:48,791
It's a bit nutty.
965
00:54:59,271 --> 00:55:00,655
Excuse me Dr. Evil.
966
00:55:01,023 --> 00:55:02,913
I have to speak to you about this...
967
00:55:02,937 --> 00:55:03,825
Mini-Me.
968
00:55:04,192 --> 00:55:05,308
He is not fitting in?
969
00:55:05,531 --> 00:55:08,200
Is he giving off too much
of a creepy Oompa-Loompa vibe?
970
00:55:08,947 --> 00:55:10,531
No, it's just that...
971
00:55:10,699 --> 00:55:11,594
he bites.
972
00:55:14,460 --> 00:55:15,469
He is a biter.
973
00:55:19,249 --> 00:55:20,469
What's wrong Mini-Me?
974
00:55:21,334 --> 00:55:23,061
Something you wanna tell us?
975
00:55:25,263 --> 00:55:26,224
Teething.
976
00:55:26,327 --> 00:55:27,123
Yeah.
977
00:55:28,208 --> 00:55:31,295
Get me the president
of the United States of America!
978
00:55:32,903 --> 00:55:33,558
He is on.
979
00:55:34,368 --> 00:55:35,999
What do you want Dr. Evil?
980
00:55:36,437 --> 00:55:38,438
Mr. President, in 12 hours,
981
00:55:38,477 --> 00:55:40,843
I will destroy Washington D.C.
982
00:55:40,867 --> 00:55:42,730
with this giant laser.
983
00:55:44,149 --> 00:55:45,499
What the...
Jesus.
984
00:55:47,528 --> 00:55:48,562
Mini-Me.
985
00:55:49,030 --> 00:55:50,556
Stop humping the laser.
986
00:55:51,191 --> 00:55:51,916
Ok.
987
00:55:51,940 --> 00:55:53,060
Honest to God.
988
00:55:53,159 --> 00:55:56,929
Why don't you and the giant laser
get a fricking room, for God sakes?
989
00:55:58,539 --> 00:55:59,664
Mr. President.
990
00:56:00,037 --> 00:56:02,185
After I destroy Washington D.C.
991
00:56:02,210 --> 00:56:04,224
I will destroy another major city,
992
00:56:04,248 --> 00:56:05,902
every hour, on the hour.
993
00:56:05,927 --> 00:56:08,113
That is, unless of course you pay me.
994
00:56:09,550 --> 00:56:12,845
One hundred billion dollars.
995
00:56:18,226 --> 00:56:20,903
Doctor Evil this is 1969.
996
00:56:21,270 --> 00:56:23,467
That amount of money doesn't even exist.
997
00:56:25,691 --> 00:56:29,003
That's like saying,
I want a kajillion-bajillion dollars.
998
00:56:31,114 --> 00:56:32,473
Come on Mr. President.
999
00:56:33,241 --> 00:56:34,621
Show me the money.
1000
00:56:35,535 --> 00:56:36,636
Show you what money?
1001
00:56:36,953 --> 00:56:38,904
Show me the money!
Show me the money!
1002
00:56:39,872 --> 00:56:41,261
You had me at hello. Tear.
1003
00:56:41,738 --> 00:56:43,066
Nothing? No?
1004
00:56:44,413 --> 00:56:45,891
It's 1969.
1005
00:56:46,514 --> 00:56:49,266
Jerry Maguire won't even come out
for another 30 years.
1006
00:56:49,784 --> 00:56:51,521
Nobody knows what you are talking about,
1007
00:56:51,818 --> 00:56:52,712
ass.
1008
00:56:53,220 --> 00:56:54,065
Scott,
1009
00:56:54,362 --> 00:56:55,548
Daddy is working.
1010
00:56:55,711 --> 00:56:56,462
Ok?
1011
00:56:57,015 --> 00:57:00,243
And when you are in the main chamber,
try and use the big-boy voice, ok?
1012
00:57:01,353 --> 00:57:02,243
Thank you.
1013
00:57:03,564 --> 00:57:04,749
Mr. President,
1014
00:57:04,969 --> 00:57:09,429
allow me to demonstrate the awesome
lethality of the Alan Parsons Project.
1015
00:57:09,736 --> 00:57:11,337
Fire the laser!
1016
00:57:17,411 --> 00:57:19,279
Damage report!
Damage report!
1017
00:57:20,247 --> 00:57:21,272
It's ok.
1018
00:57:21,473 --> 00:57:22,598
It's alright, come on.
1019
00:57:24,232 --> 00:57:27,357
Well actually, that was just footage
from the movie Independence Day,
1020
00:57:27,421 --> 00:57:29,998
but the real laser would be
a lot like that. Yeah.
1021
00:57:30,621 --> 00:57:31,373
Scary.
1022
00:57:33,343 --> 00:57:34,375
Now Dr. Evil...
1023
00:57:34,678 --> 00:57:37,397
Talk to the hand, because the face
don't want to hear it anymore.
1024
00:57:38,700 --> 00:57:39,444
What hand?
1025
00:57:39,468 --> 00:57:40,543
Talk to your hand?
1026
00:57:41,020 --> 00:57:43,500
You ain't all that and a bag
of potato chips.
1027
00:57:44,022 --> 00:57:45,169
What are you talking about?
1028
00:57:45,787 --> 00:57:47,325
Don't go there girlfriend.
1029
00:57:49,694 --> 00:57:50,771
Whose girlfriend?
1030
00:57:51,571 --> 00:57:53,818
Don't mess with me.
I am one crazy mofo.
1031
00:57:54,007 --> 00:57:57,276
I had to pop a cop because he
was not giving me my props in Oaktown.
1032
00:57:57,744 --> 00:57:58,471
No?
1033
00:57:58,570 --> 00:57:59,721
I heard that somewhere.
1034
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:03,190
You are an idiot.
1035
00:58:04,459 --> 00:58:07,470
Mr. President,
I think we have an understanding.
1036
00:58:08,338 --> 00:58:09,180
Bye-bye.
1037
00:58:09,923 --> 00:58:10,809
Dr. Evil,
1038
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,430
what are our plans
regarding Austin Powers?
1039
00:58:13,546 --> 00:58:14,898
Austin Powers?
1040
00:58:15,444 --> 00:58:17,438
He is the snake to my mongoose.
1041
00:58:18,334 --> 00:58:20,711
Or the mongoose to my snake.
1042
00:58:21,100 --> 00:58:22,912
Either way, it's bad.
1043
00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:24,531
I don't know animals.
1044
00:58:24,979 --> 00:58:26,431
But I do know this.
1045
00:58:27,398 --> 00:58:29,200
This time it's personal.
1046
00:58:30,652 --> 00:58:31,730
Kill him.
1047
00:58:37,868 --> 00:58:39,794
There is Dr. Evil's island.
1048
00:59:14,225 --> 00:59:15,363
Let's set up camp.
1049
00:59:15,531 --> 00:59:16,873
Be careful with that bag.
1050
00:59:16,898 --> 00:59:18,574
There is explosives in it.
1051
00:59:20,210 --> 00:59:21,725
This could be dangerous.
1052
00:59:32,339 --> 00:59:35,718
♪ What if God was one of us ♪
1053
00:59:36,845 --> 00:59:40,456
♪ Just a slob like one of us ♪
1054
00:59:54,598 --> 00:59:56,113
Well done. Very good.
1055
00:59:56,226 --> 00:59:57,165
Dr. Evil.
1056
00:59:57,189 --> 00:59:58,852
That was fantastic.
1057
00:59:59,075 --> 01:00:00,743
Thank you, Number Two.
1058
01:00:00,768 --> 01:00:02,106
I wrote that.
Yeah.
1059
01:00:02,536 --> 01:00:03,129
Dad,
1060
01:00:03,543 --> 01:00:05,038
he put this in my bed.
1061
01:00:05,449 --> 01:00:06,244
Who?
1062
01:00:06,474 --> 01:00:08,192
Your stupid Mini-You.
1063
01:00:08,460 --> 01:00:10,345
He put roadkill in my sheets!
1064
01:00:11,830 --> 01:00:12,986
What Mini-Me?
1065
01:00:13,461 --> 01:00:16,129
Don't you ever do that again!
You hear me?
1066
01:00:16,259 --> 01:00:18,294
Don't you ever do that again!
1067
01:00:19,398 --> 01:00:20,914
I can't stay mad at you.
1068
01:00:21,014 --> 01:00:22,562
Look at that ponem.
1069
01:00:24,452 --> 01:00:27,974
Dr. Evil's headquarters
is right over that next ridge.
1070
01:00:28,279 --> 01:00:29,264
Let me look.
1071
01:00:30,848 --> 01:00:31,645
Damn it.
1072
01:00:31,718 --> 01:00:32,718
How do we get in?
1073
01:00:32,735 --> 01:00:33,777
Hello, Mommy.
1074
01:00:33,944 --> 01:00:35,780
Mommy, can I have some chocolates?
1075
01:00:35,942 --> 01:00:37,880
I want some Mars Bars.
Austin!
1076
01:00:38,279 --> 01:00:40,270
Don't smack my bottom, Mommy!
Austin.
1077
01:00:41,410 --> 01:00:42,536
Sorry love.
1078
01:00:43,204 --> 01:00:45,339
I got stuck in your dirty pillows.
1079
01:00:46,207 --> 01:00:47,383
Let's look at the map.
1080
01:00:49,418 --> 01:00:50,583
Oh, great.
1081
01:00:50,978 --> 01:00:52,228
Austin what's our plan?
1082
01:00:52,431 --> 01:00:53,906
According to this map,
1083
01:00:53,907 --> 01:00:57,267
the entire island is crawling
with Dr. Evil's guards.
1084
01:00:57,814 --> 01:01:01,070
I wanna make sure the explosives
didn't get wet, but I can't find them.
1085
01:01:01,255 --> 01:01:02,469
Look in the bottom.
1086
01:01:03,327 --> 01:01:04,954
Ok. I will dig a little deeper.
1087
01:01:06,106 --> 01:01:08,023
Well this bag is really full.
1088
01:01:09,522 --> 01:01:11,272
Just keep digging, darling.
1089
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:12,822
I will just feel around for them.
1090
01:01:16,987 --> 01:01:18,275
Good Lord Austin.
1091
01:01:18,611 --> 01:01:20,075
What sort of things do you keep in here?
1092
01:01:20,716 --> 01:01:23,278
Anything that catches my fancy my love.
1093
01:01:23,898 --> 01:01:25,021
Give it a good tug.
1094
01:01:27,536 --> 01:01:28,556
Do we really need this?
1095
01:01:28,581 --> 01:01:30,383
I will ask you not to open that inside,
1096
01:01:30,407 --> 01:01:31,666
thank you very much, ok?
Sorry.
1097
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,838
Oh, my God.
1098
01:01:35,412 --> 01:01:36,597
It went off.
Yes.
1099
01:01:37,008 --> 01:01:39,234
It does that from time to time.
1100
01:01:39,374 --> 01:01:40,468
Yes.
Yeah.
1101
01:01:40,503 --> 01:01:42,062
Yeah, that's nasty.
1102
01:01:42,485 --> 01:01:43,786
Yeah, sorry about that.
1103
01:01:45,517 --> 01:01:46,517
Smelly.
1104
01:01:46,685 --> 01:01:49,305
These people make me sick.
1105
01:01:49,330 --> 01:01:50,602
Can you snap me a beer?
1106
01:01:55,293 --> 01:01:56,156
What is it?
1107
01:01:56,486 --> 01:01:57,744
It's a gerbil.
1108
01:01:58,145 --> 01:01:59,380
How did that get in your bag?
1109
01:02:01,867 --> 01:02:03,134
I-I don't know.
1110
01:02:06,288 --> 01:02:07,338
Dr. Evil,
1111
01:02:08,748 --> 01:02:09,756
We have a problem.
1112
01:02:09,780 --> 01:02:11,500
Austin Powers is on the island.
1113
01:02:11,668 --> 01:02:13,119
Bring him to me.
1114
01:02:13,969 --> 01:02:15,341
Alive.
1115
01:02:16,857 --> 01:02:17,631
You.
1116
01:02:18,005 --> 01:02:18,826
Hit it!
1117
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:22,498
This is a very sensitive subject.
1118
01:02:34,567 --> 01:02:35,417
Yeah.
1119
01:02:38,654 --> 01:02:40,328
♪ From the moment I heard Frau ♪
1120
01:02:40,352 --> 01:02:41,436
♪ Say I had a clone ♪
1121
01:02:41,461 --> 01:02:44,024
♪ I knew that I'd be safe ♪
♪ Because I'd never be alone ♪
1122
01:02:44,055 --> 01:02:46,594
♪ An evil doctor should not speak ♪
♪ Aloud about his feelings ♪
1123
01:02:46,662 --> 01:02:49,024
♪ My hurt and my pain ♪
♪ Don't make me too appealing ♪
1124
01:02:49,055 --> 01:02:51,482
♪ I'd hoped Scott, would look up to me ♪
1125
01:02:51,740 --> 01:02:53,969
♪ Run the business of the family ♪
1126
01:02:54,337 --> 01:02:56,662
♪ Head an evil empire ♪
♪ Just like his dear old dad ♪
1127
01:02:56,714 --> 01:02:59,107
♪ Give him my love ♪
♪ And the things I never had ♪
1128
01:02:59,145 --> 01:03:00,250
♪ Scott would think ♪
1129
01:03:00,337 --> 01:03:01,626
♪ I was a cool guy ♪
1130
01:03:01,677 --> 01:03:04,207
♪ Return the love I have ♪
♪ Make me want to cry ♪
1131
01:03:04,289 --> 01:03:05,465
♪ Be evil,
1132
01:03:05,559 --> 01:03:06,973
but have my feelings too ♪
1133
01:03:07,058 --> 01:03:09,327
♪ Change my life with Oprah ♪
♪ And Maya Angelou ♪
1134
01:03:09,352 --> 01:03:10,608
♪ But Scott rejected me ♪
1135
01:03:10,775 --> 01:03:11,979
♪ C'est la vie ♪
1136
01:03:12,146 --> 01:03:14,231
♪ Life is cruel ♪
♪ Treat you unfairly ♪
1137
01:03:14,398 --> 01:03:15,363
♪ Even so ♪
1138
01:03:15,668 --> 01:03:17,056
♪ A God there must be ♪
1139
01:03:17,193 --> 01:03:19,285
♪ Mini-Me, you complete me ♪
1140
01:03:22,783 --> 01:03:23,683
♪ Yeah ♪
1141
01:03:26,203 --> 01:03:27,356
♪ Just me and you ♪
1142
01:03:36,964 --> 01:03:38,369
♪ You and I ♪
1143
01:03:50,769 --> 01:03:52,476
You have got this packed really tight.
1144
01:03:53,790 --> 01:03:54,831
Are you ok?
1145
01:03:54,856 --> 01:03:56,983
Yeah, I just got a bit
of a back cramp, that's all.
1146
01:03:58,394 --> 01:03:59,953
Just keep packing it in.
1147
01:04:00,622 --> 01:04:01,529
God.
1148
01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:03,745
I found the explosives.
1149
01:04:03,990 --> 01:04:05,169
Help me check them.
1150
01:04:05,346 --> 01:04:07,196
You are surrounded!
Drop your weapons!
1151
01:04:08,203 --> 01:04:09,041
Hands up!
1152
01:04:10,872 --> 01:04:11,862
Move out!
1153
01:04:16,151 --> 01:04:18,109
Ladies and gentlemen,
in just a few moments,
1154
01:04:18,134 --> 01:04:19,469
we are gonna place a giant...
1155
01:04:19,656 --> 01:04:21,507
laser on the moon.
1156
01:04:21,676 --> 01:04:22,638
From my...
1157
01:04:22,662 --> 01:04:26,133
death star, I will destroy every city on the planet.
1158
01:04:26,848 --> 01:04:27,906
Get out of it!
1159
01:04:29,601 --> 01:04:31,898
Mr. Powers, Ms. Shagwell,
1160
01:04:32,102 --> 01:04:34,520
welcome to my hollowed out volcano.
1161
01:04:35,106 --> 01:04:37,399
This is my associate, Fat Bastard.
1162
01:04:37,567 --> 01:04:38,529
Felicity,
1163
01:04:38,881 --> 01:04:41,532
I think you two may have already...
1164
01:04:41,927 --> 01:04:42,834
met.
1165
01:04:43,529 --> 01:04:44,615
Unfortunately.
1166
01:04:44,782 --> 01:04:48,519
Oh, is that all the thanks I get
for the night of hot sex?
1167
01:04:49,203 --> 01:04:51,697
I am dead sexy.
1168
01:04:52,165 --> 01:04:53,373
You were crap.
1169
01:04:54,805 --> 01:04:55,649
Yes.
1170
01:04:55,721 --> 01:04:57,372
In your dreams.
1171
01:05:02,674 --> 01:05:04,676
Felicity would never sleep with you.
1172
01:05:06,721 --> 01:05:07,755
Right?
1173
01:05:08,514 --> 01:05:09,906
I did what I had to do.
1174
01:05:10,250 --> 01:05:11,451
I am a secret agent.
1175
01:05:11,976 --> 01:05:13,061
What?
1176
01:05:20,226 --> 01:05:22,487
Alright, that's enough Fat Bastard.
1177
01:05:22,764 --> 01:05:24,575
As much as I like seeing Powers,
1178
01:05:24,599 --> 01:05:26,175
in agony and I do,
1179
01:05:26,533 --> 01:05:29,046
the thought of you naked is just gross.
1180
01:05:29,912 --> 01:05:32,413
You can't stop me now Mr. Powers.
1181
01:05:32,915 --> 01:05:34,666
I have your mojo.
1182
01:05:34,833 --> 01:05:37,252
My mojo...
And I am taking it with me to the moon.
1183
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:39,628
Put them in the jail cell!
1184
01:05:40,813 --> 01:05:41,970
My mojo!
1185
01:05:42,081 --> 01:05:44,842
I will get you, Dr. Evil, I will get you!
1186
01:05:45,010 --> 01:05:47,595
Oh, look at me, I am shaking
in my little space boots.
1187
01:05:47,763 --> 01:05:49,397
I want my mojo!
1188
01:05:49,765 --> 01:05:51,401
Give back my mojo!
Great plan Einstein.
1189
01:05:53,268 --> 01:05:56,453
Well, you are gonna put them in a cell
with one inept guard and they will escape.
1190
01:05:56,882 --> 01:05:58,517
God, you do this every time.
1191
01:06:00,859 --> 01:06:02,185
You know Scott.
1192
01:06:03,153 --> 01:06:08,491
I have been a fricking evil doctor
for 30 fricking years, ok?
1193
01:06:09,159 --> 01:06:10,204
Cut me some...
1194
01:06:10,408 --> 01:06:11,725
fricking slack.
1195
01:06:12,330 --> 01:06:13,724
You forget Scott.
1196
01:06:14,249 --> 01:06:15,750
We are in a volcano.
1197
01:06:16,418 --> 01:06:18,845
We are surrounded by liquid-hot magma.
1198
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,032
What are you drawing?
1199
01:06:25,434 --> 01:06:27,411
It's just a goodbye card, that's all.
1200
01:06:29,139 --> 01:06:30,314
It's sweet.
1201
01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:39,859
Oh! Hey! Get him!
1202
01:06:39,883 --> 01:06:40,864
Get the baby!
Back off!
1203
01:06:40,904 --> 01:06:41,986
Back off!
Easy Scotty.
1204
01:06:42,010 --> 01:06:42,856
Easy!
Don't fight.
1205
01:06:42,881 --> 01:06:44,155
Simmer down.
Get in there!
1206
01:06:44,179 --> 01:06:44,981
Gnaw on him!
1207
01:06:45,321 --> 01:06:46,489
He is my posse.
1208
01:06:47,741 --> 01:06:48,521
Ok.
1209
01:06:49,106 --> 01:06:50,731
You take special care of him.
1210
01:06:51,676 --> 01:06:53,090
He is my special boy.
1211
01:06:53,913 --> 01:06:55,030
Attention.
1212
01:06:55,498 --> 01:06:56,739
Prepare for launch.
1213
01:06:58,835 --> 01:06:59,420
Repeat,
1214
01:06:59,753 --> 01:07:00,922
all technicians,
1215
01:07:00,946 --> 01:07:02,378
to launch positions.
1216
01:07:03,339 --> 01:07:04,347
Gentlemen.
1217
01:07:05,261 --> 01:07:07,464
I am about to go to the moon.
1218
01:07:07,970 --> 01:07:11,204
Initiate prelaunch sequence.
1219
01:07:11,557 --> 01:07:14,095
Main rocket engine ignition.
1220
01:07:14,351 --> 01:07:15,019
Frau.
1221
01:07:15,555 --> 01:07:17,032
Begin the countdown.
1222
01:07:17,354 --> 01:07:18,219
Five!
1223
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:19,247
Four!
1224
01:07:19,577 --> 01:07:20,338
Three!
1225
01:07:20,537 --> 01:07:21,312
Two...
Frau.
1226
01:07:21,475 --> 01:07:22,926
Begin the countdown at 30.
1227
01:07:25,093 --> 01:07:25,945
30!
1228
01:07:26,335 --> 01:07:27,218
29.
1229
01:07:27,718 --> 01:07:28,580
28.
1230
01:07:29,081 --> 01:07:30,130
27.
1231
01:07:30,564 --> 01:07:31,380
26.
1232
01:07:31,963 --> 01:07:33,146
25.
1233
01:07:33,563 --> 01:07:34,590
24.
1234
01:07:34,982 --> 01:07:36,131
23.
1235
01:07:36,499 --> 01:07:37,599
22.
1236
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:39,151
21.
1237
01:07:39,635 --> 01:07:40,693
20.
1238
01:07:41,094 --> 01:07:42,145
19.
1239
01:07:42,513 --> 01:07:43,630
18.
1240
01:07:43,938 --> 01:07:45,214
17.
1241
01:07:45,775 --> 01:07:46,808
16.
1242
01:07:47,176 --> 01:07:48,182
15.
1243
01:07:48,604 --> 01:07:49,712
14.
1244
01:07:50,189 --> 01:07:51,750
13...
You know what?
1245
01:07:51,898 --> 01:07:54,183
When the doors close, just say go.
1246
01:07:54,668 --> 01:07:55,625
Better.
1247
01:08:00,397 --> 01:08:01,398
Go!
1248
01:08:31,972 --> 01:08:32,680
Colonel,
1249
01:08:32,797 --> 01:08:34,191
you better take a look at this radar.
1250
01:08:35,809 --> 01:08:36,837
What is it son?
1251
01:08:37,602 --> 01:08:38,598
I don't know sir,
1252
01:08:39,154 --> 01:08:40,242
but it looks like a giant...
1253
01:08:40,267 --> 01:08:40,955
Dick?
1254
01:08:41,044 --> 01:08:41,689
Yeah?
1255
01:08:41,857 --> 01:08:43,190
Take a look out of starboard.
1256
01:08:43,358 --> 01:08:44,888
Oh, my God!
1257
01:08:44,912 --> 01:08:46,649
It looks like a huge...
1258
01:08:46,676 --> 01:08:48,427
Pecker!
Where?
1259
01:08:48,697 --> 01:08:49,363
Wait,
1260
01:08:49,449 --> 01:08:51,427
that's not a woodpecker.
It looks like someone is...
1261
01:08:51,452 --> 01:08:52,282
Privates!
1262
01:08:52,784 --> 01:08:55,503
We have reports
of an unidentified flying object!
1263
01:08:55,871 --> 01:08:58,148
It is a long, smooth shaft,
1264
01:08:58,549 --> 01:08:59,390
complete with...
1265
01:08:59,415 --> 01:09:00,428
Two balls!
1266
01:09:00,793 --> 01:09:01,794
What is that?
1267
01:09:02,461 --> 01:09:04,087
That looks just like an enormous...
1268
01:09:04,112 --> 01:09:04,948
Wang?
1269
01:09:05,211 --> 01:09:06,159
Pay attention.
1270
01:09:06,184 --> 01:09:08,738
I was distracted, by that enormous flying...
1271
01:09:08,763 --> 01:09:10,019
Willie.
Yeah?
1272
01:09:10,144 --> 01:09:11,097
What's that?
1273
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:14,204
Well, it looks like a giant...
1274
01:09:14,229 --> 01:09:15,673
Johnson.
Yes sir.
1275
01:09:15,808 --> 01:09:18,385
Get on the horn to British intelligence
and let them know about this.
1276
01:09:35,494 --> 01:09:36,582
What do we do?
1277
01:09:37,163 --> 01:09:39,589
Why don't you just shag Fat Bastard again?
1278
01:09:39,957 --> 01:09:41,715
Austin, this is no time to get jealous.
1279
01:09:41,907 --> 01:09:43,325
Well, how could you do it?
1280
01:09:43,606 --> 01:09:44,836
I was just doing my job.
1281
01:09:44,837 --> 01:09:47,172
No, I mean literally.
How could you do it?
1282
01:09:47,340 --> 01:09:50,377
The man is so fat, the sheer mechanics
of it are mind-boggling.
1283
01:09:50,554 --> 01:09:53,881
Look, don't try to lay your hang-ups on me
just because you lost your mojo.
1284
01:09:54,847 --> 01:09:56,132
Ouch baby.
1285
01:09:57,121 --> 01:09:58,608
Very ouch.
1286
01:09:59,186 --> 01:10:00,184
Look Austin,
1287
01:10:00,208 --> 01:10:01,379
we are running out of time.
1288
01:10:02,022 --> 01:10:03,105
I am sorry.
1289
01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:07,449
I just did what I thought you would do
in the same situation.
1290
01:10:08,682 --> 01:10:10,715
You are the reason that I became a spy.
1291
01:10:12,282 --> 01:10:14,267
I thought that I wanted to be you,
1292
01:10:15,035 --> 01:10:16,456
but then I realized that...
1293
01:10:18,092 --> 01:10:19,535
I wanna be with you.
1294
01:10:20,624 --> 01:10:21,581
You do?
1295
01:10:22,542 --> 01:10:23,339
Yeah.
1296
01:10:24,943 --> 01:10:26,026
Hang on baby.
1297
01:10:26,428 --> 01:10:27,389
Allez-hop!
1298
01:10:28,979 --> 01:10:30,749
Look, maybe we should talk about this later.
1299
01:10:30,918 --> 01:10:32,894
First we need to get past that inept guard.
1300
01:10:33,261 --> 01:10:34,475
Right.
Here is the plan.
1301
01:10:34,630 --> 01:10:37,327
What about pretend to be
desperately ill with food poisoning.
1302
01:10:37,368 --> 01:10:40,395
The guard, drawn by my cries of pain,
comes to investigate.
1303
01:10:40,519 --> 01:10:42,106
Meanwhile, you dig a pit,
1304
01:10:42,107 --> 01:10:45,372
line it with punji sticks made from
sharpened toothbrushes.
1305
01:10:45,440 --> 01:10:47,699
The guard falls in,
Bob's your uncle we escape.
1306
01:10:47,724 --> 01:10:48,791
What do you think?
1307
01:10:49,152 --> 01:10:51,246
That might work but, what about this?
1308
01:10:53,157 --> 01:10:54,654
What do you think of these my man?
1309
01:10:54,855 --> 01:10:55,993
Mommy!
1310
01:11:02,674 --> 01:11:03,494
What a...
1311
01:11:03,881 --> 01:11:04,888
burn.
1312
01:11:07,512 --> 01:11:09,804
That sort of thing could get a man...
1313
01:11:10,341 --> 01:11:11,392
fired.
1314
01:11:13,428 --> 01:11:14,843
I think he was...
1315
01:11:15,144 --> 01:11:15,801
hot...
1316
01:11:16,117 --> 01:11:16,844
for...
1317
01:11:17,170 --> 01:11:17,839
you.
1318
01:11:18,683 --> 01:11:20,104
That's enough.
Yeah.
1319
01:11:26,429 --> 01:11:28,038
Ladies and gentlemen,
1320
01:11:28,276 --> 01:11:30,861
welcome to my moon base.
1321
01:11:31,738 --> 01:11:35,633
You have all been chosen
to be part of my elite moon unit,
1322
01:11:36,254 --> 01:11:38,756
which is divided into two divisions:
1323
01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:40,284
Moon Unit Alpha,
1324
01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:42,419
and Moon Unit Zappa.
1325
01:11:43,291 --> 01:11:45,331
In exactly six hours,
1326
01:11:45,355 --> 01:11:46,665
the moon will move,
1327
01:11:46,689 --> 01:11:48,323
in its orbit around the Earth,
1328
01:11:48,362 --> 01:11:50,628
bringing Washington D.C.
1329
01:11:50,653 --> 01:11:52,612
Within range of my giant...
1330
01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:54,072
laser.
1331
01:11:54,534 --> 01:11:55,449
Begin...
1332
01:11:55,807 --> 01:11:58,440
laser ignition sequence.
1333
01:11:59,013 --> 01:12:01,448
Begin laser ignition!
1334
01:12:02,853 --> 01:12:03,891
Attention.
1335
01:12:03,915 --> 01:12:06,348
Moon Unit Zappa to firing stations.
1336
01:12:07,669 --> 01:12:09,700
Initiation sequence in progress.
1337
01:12:10,194 --> 01:12:11,583
Ok.
Alright.
1338
01:12:12,071 --> 01:12:13,317
Gravity boost to EMS.
1339
01:12:13,608 --> 01:12:14,922
Steady at full power.
1340
01:12:14,961 --> 01:12:18,078
All I asked for was a fricking rotating chair, ok?
1341
01:12:18,410 --> 01:12:19,569
Oh, ok.
1342
01:12:19,904 --> 01:12:20,616
Ok,
1343
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,034
ok. Ok.
1344
01:12:22,300 --> 01:12:23,826
Getting a little afraid.
1345
01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:27,668
I need an old priest and a young priest.
1346
01:12:27,836 --> 01:12:30,291
The power of Christ compels you!
1347
01:12:30,839 --> 01:12:33,810
The power of Christ compels you!
1348
01:12:34,811 --> 01:12:35,401
Hello.
1349
01:12:35,469 --> 01:12:36,861
Ok.
1350
01:12:37,167 --> 01:12:37,883
Sick...
1351
01:12:38,369 --> 01:12:40,444
as a dog now.
1352
01:12:41,016 --> 01:12:42,137
Ok.
1353
01:12:42,764 --> 01:12:44,263
Ok.
Get him a bucket.
1354
01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:45,888
Gonna vom.
1355
01:12:54,311 --> 01:12:57,073
We need to hitch a ride to the moon baby.
1356
01:12:57,951 --> 01:13:00,050
Apollo 11 is good to go.
1357
01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:02,433
Crew to all stations.
1358
01:13:04,094 --> 01:13:07,367
We will have lift off
in T-minus 5 seconds.
1359
01:13:07,754 --> 01:13:08,477
4.
1360
01:13:08,826 --> 01:13:09,594
3.
1361
01:13:10,087 --> 01:13:10,657
2.
1362
01:13:12,090 --> 01:13:13,615
We have lift off!
1363
01:13:13,679 --> 01:13:15,585
Apollo 11 has cleared the tower
1364
01:13:15,610 --> 01:13:18,095
and is heading for a rendez-vous
with the moon.
1365
01:13:27,272 --> 01:13:29,223
Arm the laser.
1366
01:13:30,626 --> 01:13:32,335
Arming the laser!
1367
01:13:32,602 --> 01:13:33,480
Attention,
1368
01:13:33,621 --> 01:13:35,212
arming the death star.
1369
01:13:35,363 --> 01:13:37,509
Battle stations.
Laser armed!
1370
01:13:38,032 --> 01:13:40,751
All crew prepare for ready battle stations.
1371
01:13:41,161 --> 01:13:42,759
Get me the president.
1372
01:13:43,998 --> 01:13:45,858
You are gonna like this part Mini-Me.
1373
01:13:46,417 --> 01:13:49,100
This is the part
where we threaten the world leader.
1374
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:52,114
I know we do it every time.
However, it is important to...
1375
01:13:55,759 --> 01:13:56,810
Mini-Me?
1376
01:13:58,345 --> 01:13:59,335
Mini-Me?
1377
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,012
Where are you?
1378
01:14:01,468 --> 01:14:04,397
Can someone put a fricking
bell on him or something?
1379
01:14:07,199 --> 01:14:07,937
Great.
1380
01:14:08,214 --> 01:14:10,012
Somebody get the stick.
1381
01:14:12,121 --> 01:14:14,360
Just grab on to the hook, alright?
1382
01:14:14,770 --> 01:14:16,152
You complete me.
1383
01:14:16,780 --> 01:14:17,756
I love you.
1384
01:14:19,450 --> 01:14:20,670
Hang in there, Mini-Me.
1385
01:14:21,551 --> 01:14:23,983
If anything should happen to you,
I don't know what I would do.
1386
01:14:25,414 --> 01:14:28,124
I would probably move on
and get another replica but,
1387
01:14:28,393 --> 01:14:31,850
there would be a 10 minute period there
when I would just be inconsolable.
1388
01:14:33,069 --> 01:14:35,148
We have your money Dr. Evil,
but it was not easy.
1389
01:14:35,216 --> 01:14:37,092
Papa has to do some work, ok?
1390
01:14:37,697 --> 01:14:40,725
Well, you have exactly 30 minutes
to get it to me.
1391
01:14:41,438 --> 01:14:42,371
Ciao.
1392
01:14:45,144 --> 01:14:46,511
Jiminy German Jesus!
1393
01:14:46,536 --> 01:14:48,846
I can't believe
we are gonna pay that madman.
1394
01:14:49,314 --> 01:14:51,006
I got nukes out the yin-yang.
1395
01:14:51,007 --> 01:14:53,399
Just let me launch one, for Christ sake!
Sir!
1396
01:14:54,168 --> 01:14:57,238
Are you suggesting
that we blow up the moon?
1397
01:14:57,906 --> 01:14:58,941
Would you miss it?
1398
01:14:59,527 --> 01:15:00,561
Would you miss it?
1399
01:15:04,996 --> 01:15:06,163
Mission control,
1400
01:15:06,842 --> 01:15:08,575
the swinger has landed,
1401
01:15:08,825 --> 01:15:09,638
yeah.
1402
01:15:10,919 --> 01:15:12,474
Airlock open.
1403
01:15:17,330 --> 01:15:19,384
Repressurize.
Let's find Dr. Evil.
1404
01:15:19,459 --> 01:15:20,158
Yeah.
1405
01:15:20,228 --> 01:15:22,220
Enjoy your stay on the moon.
1406
01:15:23,438 --> 01:15:24,480
Hello, hello.
1407
01:15:25,850 --> 01:15:27,018
There he is.
1408
01:15:30,021 --> 01:15:31,238
I will cover your rear.
1409
01:15:31,363 --> 01:15:32,673
No, you go ahead.
1410
01:15:33,900 --> 01:15:35,491
This time, it's personal.
1411
01:16:41,595 --> 01:16:42,796
No more!
1412
01:16:42,797 --> 01:16:44,822
I can't take it anymore!
1413
01:16:45,849 --> 01:16:46,932
Peace?
1414
01:16:47,934 --> 01:16:50,001
You brought my glasses.
1415
01:16:50,302 --> 01:16:52,021
Bless your little heart.
1416
01:16:53,656 --> 01:16:55,184
That's not right, that's...
1417
01:16:56,193 --> 01:16:58,051
Oh, don't, that's just...
1418
01:16:58,052 --> 01:16:59,329
Now I am pissed!
1419
01:17:00,197 --> 01:17:01,347
Judo flip!
1420
01:17:10,248 --> 01:17:11,524
Poor little bugger.
1421
01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,659
He is so small.
1422
01:17:14,306 --> 01:17:15,977
He is like a dog or something.
1423
01:17:17,297 --> 01:17:18,672
Poor little bugger.
1424
01:17:26,983 --> 01:17:27,798
Get off!
1425
01:17:28,228 --> 01:17:28,946
Off!
1426
01:17:40,279 --> 01:17:41,115
Ok.
1427
01:17:45,558 --> 01:17:46,933
Get out of my suit!
1428
01:17:48,462 --> 01:17:49,123
It tickles.
1429
01:17:49,824 --> 01:17:51,072
Oh, it tickles. No.
1430
01:17:55,461 --> 01:17:56,470
Gotcha.
1431
01:18:24,657 --> 01:18:26,033
Poor little bugger.
1432
01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:28,519
I salute you.
1433
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:39,780
Alright slap-head.
1434
01:18:39,982 --> 01:18:41,049
Turn around.
1435
01:18:41,904 --> 01:18:43,787
Where is my mojo?
1436
01:18:44,647 --> 01:18:47,574
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers.
1437
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,315
Save the world...
1438
01:18:50,079 --> 01:18:51,913
or save your girlfriend.
1439
01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:53,059
Austin!
1440
01:18:53,060 --> 01:18:54,187
Felicity!
1441
01:18:54,886 --> 01:18:56,595
Don't worry about me Austin!
1442
01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,232
You have got to save the world!
1443
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,594
Kill him!
1444
01:19:03,861 --> 01:19:05,371
Fire the laser!
1445
01:19:05,458 --> 01:19:06,458
Target locking.
1446
01:19:08,327 --> 01:19:10,778
Laser set to full fatality.
1447
01:19:11,642 --> 01:19:12,693
Judo kick!
1448
01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:17,157
Target missed.
1449
01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:18,857
Mojo in trouble now.
1450
01:19:18,887 --> 01:19:21,506
You may have won the battle Mr. Powers,
1451
01:19:21,531 --> 01:19:23,007
but you lost the war.
1452
01:19:23,117 --> 01:19:24,549
No!
1453
01:19:24,550 --> 01:19:25,911
No, no!
1454
01:19:26,179 --> 01:19:26,920
Felicity!
1455
01:19:27,121 --> 01:19:28,748
Wake up Felicity, wake up!
1456
01:19:35,063 --> 01:19:36,531
I love you Felicity.
1457
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,440
I love you.
1458
01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:40,527
Dr. Evil!
1459
01:19:40,828 --> 01:19:41,893
I will kill him!
1460
01:19:46,488 --> 01:19:47,330
Gotcha!
1461
01:19:55,399 --> 01:19:57,593
You shot me, you A-hole.
1462
01:19:58,760 --> 01:20:01,229
And now I am going to kill you.
1463
01:20:03,032 --> 01:20:04,600
Before you do that,
1464
01:20:07,303 --> 01:20:08,455
know this.
1465
01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:12,158
Austin.
1466
01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:19,151
I am your father.
1467
01:20:21,402 --> 01:20:22,452
Really?
1468
01:20:24,446 --> 01:20:25,797
No, not really.
1469
01:20:26,038 --> 01:20:27,374
I can't back that up.
1470
01:20:28,242 --> 01:20:29,619
Right. Idiot.
1471
01:20:29,620 --> 01:20:30,383
Yes.
1472
01:20:31,203 --> 01:20:33,982
But isn't it interesting, Mr. Powers,
1473
01:20:34,108 --> 01:20:36,075
that you would rather kill me,
1474
01:20:36,241 --> 01:20:38,618
than save your precious Felicity?
1475
01:20:39,086 --> 01:20:40,470
What do you mean?
1476
01:20:40,728 --> 01:20:41,669
Remember,
1477
01:20:42,068 --> 01:20:44,641
there is a time portal in the main chamber.
1478
01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:47,977
You could go back and save her.
1479
01:20:48,469 --> 01:20:49,770
I will do that.
1480
01:20:54,786 --> 01:20:55,837
Felicity!
1481
01:20:57,271 --> 01:20:58,354
Good work.
1482
01:21:00,357 --> 01:21:02,317
Good work!
1483
01:21:04,862 --> 01:21:05,887
Good work!
1484
01:21:22,297 --> 01:21:25,057
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers.
1485
01:21:25,425 --> 01:21:26,934
Save the world,
1486
01:21:27,302 --> 01:21:29,079
or save your girlfriend.
1487
01:21:29,137 --> 01:21:30,049
Austin!
1488
01:21:30,050 --> 01:21:31,086
Felicity!
1489
01:21:31,146 --> 01:21:32,918
Don't worry about me Austin!
1490
01:21:32,949 --> 01:21:34,414
You have got to save the world!
1491
01:21:36,227 --> 01:21:38,115
I choose love baby!
1492
01:21:38,653 --> 01:21:39,812
Wait a tick.
1493
01:21:40,023 --> 01:21:41,193
Who are you?
1494
01:21:41,301 --> 01:21:43,404
I am you, ten minutes from now.
1495
01:21:43,919 --> 01:21:46,302
Damn it, you are handsome.
1496
01:21:47,322 --> 01:21:48,639
I was just thinking the same.
1497
01:21:50,637 --> 01:21:52,638
We are sexy.
1498
01:21:52,744 --> 01:21:55,123
We are sexy bitches, yeah.
1499
01:21:55,830 --> 01:21:58,568
Alright, this is ri-goddamn-diculous.
1500
01:21:58,740 --> 01:21:59,781
Kill them both!
1501
01:22:03,588 --> 01:22:05,155
Fire the laser.
1502
01:22:05,423 --> 01:22:06,465
Thank you.
1503
01:22:06,633 --> 01:22:08,359
Fire the laser!
1504
01:22:08,958 --> 01:22:10,291
Listen, Past Austin.
1505
01:22:10,428 --> 01:22:12,764
Can you save the world
while I go get the girl?
1506
01:22:12,932 --> 01:22:14,995
Sure, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1507
01:22:15,434 --> 01:22:16,527
Target locking.
1508
01:22:18,145 --> 01:22:20,621
Laser set to full fatality.
1509
01:22:25,277 --> 01:22:26,792
Target missed.
1510
01:22:27,062 --> 01:22:29,006
Come on, come on.
You are alright. Yeah, come on.
1511
01:22:30,449 --> 01:22:31,493
You alright?
1512
01:22:31,518 --> 01:22:32,472
Are you ok?
1513
01:22:35,162 --> 01:22:35,906
Say,
1514
01:22:36,133 --> 01:22:38,316
what's the policy on ménage à trois?
1515
01:22:39,792 --> 01:22:42,164
You are adorable.
1516
01:22:42,837 --> 01:22:43,878
Yes.
1517
01:22:44,714 --> 01:22:46,932
Looking for this, Mr. Powers?
1518
01:22:48,050 --> 01:22:49,135
My mojo.
1519
01:22:50,636 --> 01:22:53,966
Self-destruct in two minutes
and counting.
1520
01:22:58,436 --> 01:23:01,049
No!
No!
1521
01:23:03,774 --> 01:23:05,120
Watch out!
1522
01:23:15,328 --> 01:23:17,321
See you in hell, Powers!
1523
01:23:19,624 --> 01:23:20,933
No, my...
1524
01:23:21,501 --> 01:23:23,878
Ok, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1525
01:23:24,045 --> 01:23:26,731
This place is gonna blow!
Let's go! Come on!
1526
01:23:31,344 --> 01:23:34,394
Self-destruct in 30 seconds and counting.
1527
01:23:34,765 --> 01:23:35,665
Twenty-nine.
1528
01:23:36,488 --> 01:23:37,164
No!
1529
01:23:37,189 --> 01:23:38,043
Let's go!
No!
1530
01:23:38,067 --> 01:23:38,980
My mojo!
1531
01:23:39,005 --> 01:23:40,420
We have to go!
We have to go now!
1532
01:23:40,444 --> 01:23:42,247
My mojo, I am useless without it!
1533
01:23:42,272 --> 01:23:44,378
You don't need it,
you have had it all along.
1534
01:23:44,403 --> 01:23:45,269
What do you mean?
1535
01:23:45,294 --> 01:23:47,464
You defeated Dr. Evil, you saved the world,
1536
01:23:47,648 --> 01:23:49,474
and believe me you are gonna get the girl.
1537
01:23:50,489 --> 01:23:51,287
Well.
1538
01:23:54,534 --> 01:23:56,430
Yeah. Alright, then maybe later.
1539
01:23:56,431 --> 01:23:57,271
Yeah, come on.
1540
01:24:00,791 --> 01:24:01,607
Go!
1541
01:24:02,876 --> 01:24:04,823
I will set the controls for 1967.
1542
01:24:06,339 --> 01:24:09,386
Felicity, why don't you come
with me to 1999?
1543
01:24:09,717 --> 01:24:12,097
Well, I don't know the '60s
were just so groovy I mean.
1544
01:24:12,178 --> 01:24:14,638
I wanna to see what happens
in the '70s and '80s.
1545
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:16,329
The '70s and the '80s?
1546
01:24:16,682 --> 01:24:18,083
You are not missing anything.
1547
01:24:18,107 --> 01:24:19,200
I looked into it.
1548
01:24:19,268 --> 01:24:21,824
There is a gas shortage
and A Flock of Seagulls.
1549
01:24:22,259 --> 01:24:24,056
That's about it.
1550
01:24:27,051 --> 01:24:28,051
Let's go!
1551
01:24:50,139 --> 01:24:51,515
I love you Austin Powers.
1552
01:24:51,551 --> 01:24:53,952
And I love you, Felicity Shagwell.
1553
01:24:54,679 --> 01:24:56,063
Wherever we go.
1554
01:24:56,430 --> 01:24:57,623
There we are.
1555
01:25:01,216 --> 01:25:02,571
Special delivery.
1556
01:25:05,602 --> 01:25:07,790
Surprise, surprise!
1557
01:25:09,736 --> 01:25:10,945
Listen Missy.
1558
01:25:11,572 --> 01:25:13,623
Do you fancy another go?
1559
01:25:13,991 --> 01:25:15,682
Because once you have had fat,
1560
01:25:15,706 --> 01:25:17,402
you never go back.
1561
01:25:18,370 --> 01:25:20,731
You shut your mouth you bastard.
1562
01:25:23,166 --> 01:25:24,342
Who is fat?
1563
01:25:24,710 --> 01:25:25,793
That's right, yeah.
1564
01:25:25,961 --> 01:25:27,168
Before you kill us,
1565
01:25:27,328 --> 01:25:28,981
let me ask you one question.
1566
01:25:29,606 --> 01:25:30,553
Are you happy?
1567
01:25:30,578 --> 01:25:33,400
What kind of stupid-ass question is that?
1568
01:25:33,594 --> 01:25:36,259
I am rich and I am dead sexy!
1569
01:25:39,391 --> 01:25:40,525
Yeah.
1570
01:25:44,771 --> 01:25:46,228
Well, you didn't answer my question.
1571
01:25:46,708 --> 01:25:47,791
Are you happy?
1572
01:25:48,400 --> 01:25:49,798
Of course I am not happy.
1573
01:25:50,485 --> 01:25:52,711
Look at me, I am a big fat slob.
1574
01:25:53,363 --> 01:25:55,740
I have got bigger titties than you do.
1575
01:25:55,908 --> 01:25:59,094
I have got more chins
than a Chinese phone book!
1576
01:25:59,996 --> 01:26:02,307
I have not seen my willy in two years,
1577
01:26:02,332 --> 01:26:03,313
which is long enough,
1578
01:26:03,563 --> 01:26:05,855
to declare it legally dead!
1579
01:26:08,504 --> 01:26:10,876
I can't stop eating.
1580
01:26:12,508 --> 01:26:14,593
I eat because I am unhappy.
1581
01:26:18,014 --> 01:26:19,916
And I am unhappy because I eat.
1582
01:26:21,184 --> 01:26:22,624
It's a vicious cycle.
1583
01:26:23,853 --> 01:26:25,254
If you will excuse me,
1584
01:26:26,022 --> 01:26:28,791
there is someone I have
to get in touch with and forgive.
1585
01:26:30,944 --> 01:26:31,816
Myself.
1586
01:26:36,991 --> 01:26:38,183
Oh, God.
1587
01:26:39,417 --> 01:26:40,249
Sorry.
1588
01:26:40,571 --> 01:26:41,668
I farted.
1589
01:26:43,790 --> 01:26:45,241
It's a long road ahead.
1590
01:26:48,191 --> 01:26:49,575
Oh, who am I kidding?
1591
01:26:49,744 --> 01:26:51,380
I am gonna kill you anyway.
1592
01:26:52,048 --> 01:26:53,115
Judo chop!
1593
01:26:54,717 --> 01:26:58,121
Right in the mommy-daddy button!
1594
01:26:58,389 --> 01:27:00,490
That's for calling me crap, you fatty.
1595
01:27:11,184 --> 01:27:13,567
Listen baby, I don't care
if he is a fat bastard.
1596
01:27:13,696 --> 01:27:15,512
You don't give a man a shot in the pills.
1597
01:27:15,964 --> 01:27:17,250
It's just not cricket.
1598
01:27:19,201 --> 01:27:21,202
Do you think I will be happy
here in the '90s?
1599
01:27:21,370 --> 01:27:23,964
Well, I know the '90s might sound boring.
1600
01:27:24,832 --> 01:27:26,558
But as far as I am concerned.
1601
01:27:27,126 --> 01:27:30,062
I have brought the best part
of the '60s back with me.
1602
01:27:31,797 --> 01:27:32,476
You.
1603
01:27:33,796 --> 01:27:34,756
Wait a minute.
1604
01:27:34,843 --> 01:27:35,992
Where are you going?
1605
01:28:22,724 --> 01:28:24,375
Did we get Dr. Evil?
1606
01:28:24,642 --> 01:28:27,394
No sir, he got away in that rocket
that looks like a huge...
1607
01:28:27,562 --> 01:28:28,446
Penis.
1608
01:28:28,761 --> 01:28:31,190
The male reproductive organ.
1609
01:28:31,357 --> 01:28:33,083
Also known as tallywhacker,
1610
01:28:33,157 --> 01:28:34,485
schlong or...
1611
01:28:34,652 --> 01:28:35,547
Wiener?
1612
01:28:35,945 --> 01:28:37,563
Any of you kids want another wiener?
1613
01:28:38,031 --> 01:28:40,090
Dad, what's that?
1614
01:28:40,158 --> 01:28:43,077
I don't know son, but it's got great big...
1615
01:28:43,189 --> 01:28:45,308
Nuts! Hot, salty nuts!
1616
01:28:45,530 --> 01:28:46,757
Who wants some...
1617
01:28:46,998 --> 01:28:48,207
Lord almighty!
1618
01:28:48,374 --> 01:28:50,168
That looks just like my husband's...
1619
01:28:50,336 --> 01:28:51,757
One-eyed monster!
1620
01:28:51,949 --> 01:28:54,672
Step right up and see the one-eyed monster!
1621
01:28:57,635 --> 01:28:59,969
Hey, what's that? It looks like a big...
1622
01:28:59,994 --> 01:29:00,848
Woody?
1623
01:29:01,388 --> 01:29:02,442
Woody Harrelson?
1624
01:29:02,650 --> 01:29:03,866
Can I have your autograph?
1625
01:29:03,891 --> 01:29:05,092
Sure, no problem.
1626
01:29:06,060 --> 01:29:07,254
Oh, my Lord!
1627
01:29:07,279 --> 01:29:08,231
Look at that thing.
1628
01:29:08,437 --> 01:29:09,571
It's so big.
1629
01:29:09,939 --> 01:29:11,390
I have seen bigger. That's...
1630
01:29:11,415 --> 01:29:12,710
Just a little prick.
1631
01:29:13,818 --> 01:29:15,118
It's a flu shot.
1632
01:29:15,486 --> 01:29:18,522
You have been in the coldness of space.
I don't want you to get sick.
1633
01:29:19,490 --> 01:29:21,270
It's one thing to attack me.
1634
01:29:21,428 --> 01:29:23,761
It's quite another to attack my Mini-Me.
1635
01:29:24,829 --> 01:29:26,780
I am gonna get you Austin Powers.
1636
01:29:27,748 --> 01:29:29,241
I am gonna get you.
1637
01:29:33,442 --> 01:29:36,442
By LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections September 2022
1638
01:29:47,769 --> 01:29:48,683
Thank you.
1639
01:29:48,909 --> 01:29:50,581
Re comeback, today we are doing a follow-up
1640
01:29:50,605 --> 01:29:52,219
to a segment we did several months ago,
1641
01:29:52,244 --> 01:29:54,674
on fathers who are trying
to take over the world.
1642
01:29:55,527 --> 01:29:57,486
Let's begin with Scott Evil.
1643
01:30:00,782 --> 01:30:02,199
What's going on with your dad?
1644
01:30:02,224 --> 01:30:05,942
Well, my dad tried to take over the world
with a giant laser on the moon.
1645
01:30:07,789 --> 01:30:08,831
I know.
1646
01:30:08,999 --> 01:30:10,953
Well, Scott, we have a surprise for you.
1647
01:30:11,046 --> 01:30:12,084
What? My dad?
1648
01:30:12,109 --> 01:30:13,187
No, it's not your father.
1649
01:30:13,382 --> 01:30:14,340
It's your mother.
1650
01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:15,773
Come on out.
1651
01:30:18,091 --> 01:30:20,092
Mom, mom, mom.
1652
01:30:20,260 --> 01:30:23,262
Mom, mom, mom.
1653
01:30:23,430 --> 01:30:24,216
Mom?
1654
01:30:24,944 --> 01:30:25,786
Scott,
1655
01:30:26,411 --> 01:30:29,059
you are my love child with Dr. Evil.
1656
01:30:29,603 --> 01:30:31,270
I thought I was a test-tube baby.
1657
01:30:31,938 --> 01:30:32,999
He lies.
1658
01:30:33,023 --> 01:30:34,382
All lies!
1659
01:30:36,186 --> 01:30:37,370
I love you Mom.
1660
01:30:38,945 --> 01:30:40,521
I love you too son.
1661
01:30:46,787 --> 01:30:47,612
Thank you.
1662
01:30:47,765 --> 01:30:48,342
You know,
1663
01:30:48,654 --> 01:30:50,221
what have we learned here today?
1664
01:30:50,833 --> 01:30:52,024
Perhaps it's that...
1665
01:30:52,396 --> 01:30:54,024
no one can take your mojo.
1666
01:30:54,921 --> 01:30:56,079
You can look around you want
1667
01:30:56,104 --> 01:30:57,521
but what you are really trying to find is...
1668
01:30:57,890 --> 01:30:59,065
on the inside.
1669
01:31:00,760 --> 01:31:01,910
Take care of yourself,
1670
01:31:02,211 --> 01:31:03,445
and each other.
1671
01:31:10,334 --> 01:31:11,877
I think I am going to like it in the '90s.
1672
01:31:13,022 --> 01:31:15,241
I never knew it could be this way.
1673
01:31:15,297 --> 01:31:17,313
Oh baby! Baby, baby!
1674
01:31:17,338 --> 01:31:18,365
Oh, no.
1675
01:31:21,903 --> 01:31:23,341
Oh, that's good.
1676
01:31:23,553 --> 01:31:24,559
Felicity.
1677
01:31:27,137 --> 01:31:27,996
Austin?
1678
01:31:28,281 --> 01:31:29,348
How could you?
1679
01:31:29,497 --> 01:31:30,606
I thought that...
1680
01:31:32,041 --> 01:31:33,367
Past Austin?
1681
01:31:35,176 --> 01:31:36,949
Technically, it's not cheating baby.
1682
01:31:37,098 --> 01:31:38,183
Well Felicity,
1683
01:31:38,692 --> 01:31:40,207
I can't blame you.
1684
01:31:40,842 --> 01:31:43,052
The man is handsome baby.
1685
01:31:43,264 --> 01:31:45,229
We are just plain handsome, man.
1686
01:31:45,847 --> 01:31:48,697
Am I wrong, but this makes me horny baby?
1687
01:31:48,800 --> 01:31:50,057
Very randy!
1688
01:31:51,395 --> 01:31:53,076
Well, one thing's for sure.
1689
01:31:53,377 --> 01:31:55,631
I have got my mojo back.
1690
01:31:55,820 --> 01:31:57,744
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
1691
01:31:57,941 --> 01:31:59,455
It's definitely back.
1692
01:31:59,820 --> 01:32:01,287
Hello, you alright?
1693
01:32:02,864 --> 01:32:04,532
Me spuds are boiling.
1694
01:32:08,245 --> 01:32:11,322
Come on, darling, let's hop on
the good foot and do the bad thing.
1695
01:32:11,876 --> 01:32:13,547
Paging Dr. Freud.
1696
01:32:16,672 --> 01:32:19,672
By LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections September 2022
1697
01:34:36,855 --> 01:34:37,808
Hello, up there.
1698
01:34:38,021 --> 01:34:39,495
Is the movie over?
1699
01:34:40,024 --> 01:34:42,935
I am still down here
and I am still in quite a lot of pain.
1700
01:34:43,403 --> 01:34:45,667
Maybe someone in the lobby
could call an ambulance.
1701
01:34:46,730 --> 01:34:48,741
The pain is really quite severe I...
1702
01:34:49,075 --> 01:34:50,902
I have fashioned a makeshift splint.
1703
01:34:51,403 --> 01:34:52,552
Here goes nothing.
112213
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