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1
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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welcome to my underground lair.
3
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I have gathered here before me
4
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,246
the world's deadliest assassins,
5
00:00:46,857 --> 00:00:47,606
and yet...
6
00:00:47,907 --> 00:00:50,288
each of you has failed to kill...
7
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,152
Austin Powers.
8
00:00:52,663 --> 00:00:54,146
That makes me angry,
9
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and when Dr. Evil gets angry,
Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset.
10
00:00:58,937 --> 00:01:01,289
And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset...
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People die!
12
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Why must I be surrounded
by fricking idiots?
13
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Mustafa,
14
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Frau Farbissina,
15
00:01:24,548 --> 00:01:28,031
I spared your lives because
I need you to help me rid the world
16
00:01:28,032 --> 00:01:30,250
of Britain's top secret agent,
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the only man who can stop me now.
18
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We must kill Austin Powers!
19
00:02:15,997 --> 00:02:17,125
Come on babies.
20
00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:18,765
Work with me people, alright.
21
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:19,790
Show me love.
22
00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:24,772
Great babies! Yeah!
23
00:02:25,886 --> 00:02:27,219
Oh, behave.
24
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,809
It's Austin Powers!
25
00:02:51,578 --> 00:02:53,180
It's Austin Powers!
26
00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:49,072
Hello, Mrs. Kensington.
27
00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:50,298
Hello, Austin.
28
00:03:51,108 --> 00:03:53,136
Why don't you ever model for me,
29
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Mrs. Kensington?
30
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You know how Mr. Kensington
feels about that.
31
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Oh, behave.
32
00:04:00,652 --> 00:04:01,552
Yeah.
33
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:02,872
Yeah, baby!
34
00:04:10,572 --> 00:04:11,639
Hello, Austin.
35
00:04:11,664 --> 00:04:13,055
I am Basil exposition,
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with British intelligence.
37
00:04:14,899 --> 00:04:16,900
We have just received word that
38
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Dr. Evil is planning a trap for you tonight
39
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at the electric psychedelic
pussycat swinger's club
40
00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:24,822
here in swinging London.
41
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:25,915
We will be there.
42
00:04:40,324 --> 00:04:42,442
Yeah, have a look, baby!
43
00:04:44,095 --> 00:04:45,862
There you go.
Come on baby, yeah.
44
00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:47,228
Yeah.
45
00:04:54,205 --> 00:04:56,540
Austin, it's a swinging shindig.
46
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It's my happening baby,
and it freaks me out!
47
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Yeah, man!
48
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Can I get you a drink, Mr. Powers?
49
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Sure!
50
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Austin,
51
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we have got to look for Dr. Evil.
52
00:05:26,636 --> 00:05:27,319
Wait.
53
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I have got an idea.
54
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Austin! Why on earth did you hit
that woman?
55
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Right. Let me show you baby.
56
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,030
That ain't no woman.
57
00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:39,990
It's a man, man.
58
00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:44,717
One of Dr. Evil's assassins.
59
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,527
Look out!
He has got a knife!
60
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,284
Good work, Mrs. Kensington.
It's alright.
61
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,666
Get up! Get up!
62
00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:57,929
Right.
63
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,692
Where is Dr. Evil?
64
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:00,868
Where is he?
65
00:06:03,785 --> 00:06:05,067
There is the bastard.
66
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:08,422
Come on. Let's go.
67
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:09,996
Coming through.
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00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:11,038
Excuse me.
69
00:06:14,285 --> 00:06:16,553
I have got you now, Dr. Evil.
70
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,088
Not this time.
71
00:06:18,556 --> 00:06:19,981
Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!
72
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See you in the future, Mr. Powers.
73
00:06:27,932 --> 00:06:29,002
My God!
74
00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:30,807
He is freezing himself.
75
00:06:57,928 --> 00:06:59,813
And so Dr. Evil escaped
76
00:06:59,838 --> 00:07:02,349
and had himself cryogenically frozen,
77
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to return at a time when free love
no longer reigned
78
00:07:05,387 --> 00:07:07,421
and greed and corruption ruled again.
79
00:07:24,102 --> 00:07:24,852
Yes?
80
00:07:25,186 --> 00:07:26,258
Commander Gilmour?
81
00:07:26,415 --> 00:07:27,115
Speaking.
82
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,391
Commander, this is ritter
in sou-west com 3.
83
00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,891
We have a potential bogey
with erratic vectoring
84
00:07:31,916 --> 00:07:33,398
and an unorthodox entry angle.
85
00:07:33,756 --> 00:07:35,224
What are you saying, son?
86
00:07:36,599 --> 00:07:38,936
Well, it appears to be
in the shape of a big boy.
87
00:07:39,301 --> 00:07:40,012
Good God.
88
00:07:40,815 --> 00:07:41,638
He is back.
89
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:44,318
Well in many ways,
the big boy never left sir.
90
00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:47,911
He is always offered the same high
quality meals at competitive prices.
91
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:48,856
Shut up.
92
00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:51,914
Shall I scramble tac hq for an intercept?
93
00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:53,383
What's its current position?
94
00:07:54,051 --> 00:07:55,886
I am presently tracking it over Nevada.
95
00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:57,964
Oh, my God!
96
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:59,155
The big boy is gone.
97
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,253
Listen son...
98
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:03,393
I want you to forget
what you saw here today.
99
00:08:04,464 --> 00:08:05,321
Phillips.
100
00:08:06,422 --> 00:08:07,881
Call the president.
Sir.
101
00:08:07,948 --> 00:08:09,009
Prepare the jet,
102
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:11,285
bring my overnight bag,
103
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:12,399
and...
104
00:08:12,582 --> 00:08:13,314
Phillips,
105
00:08:13,572 --> 00:08:14,619
feed my fish?
106
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,323
Not too much.
107
00:08:17,922 --> 00:08:19,594
I am off to London, Eng-a-land.
108
00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:29,733
Powers volunteered to have himself frozen
in case Dr. Evil should ever return.
109
00:08:30,231 --> 00:08:31,998
Well, I hope your boy's up to it.
110
00:08:32,753 --> 00:08:35,657
We don't wanna have to bail you
guys out again like after.
111
00:08:35,952 --> 00:08:37,452
W.W.2
112
00:08:39,631 --> 00:08:41,600
This is our celebrity vault.
113
00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:53,884
Please.
114
00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:56,530
So, who is this Austin Powers?
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00:08:57,198 --> 00:08:59,099
The ultimate gentleman spy.
116
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Irresistible to women,
117
00:09:00,677 --> 00:09:02,134
deadly to his enemies,
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00:09:02,336 --> 00:09:04,638
a legend in his own time.
119
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:07,468
Attention. Stage one:
120
00:09:07,837 --> 00:09:09,504
Laser cutting begins.
121
00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,836
Laser cutting complete.
122
00:09:25,026 --> 00:09:26,415
Stage 2:
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00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:29,596
Warm liquid goo phase beginning.
124
00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:35,969
Warm liquid goo phase complete.
125
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,523
Stage 3:
126
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Reanimation beginning.
127
00:09:42,269 --> 00:09:44,384
Reanimation complete.
128
00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:49,471
Stage 4:
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00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:51,469
Cleansing beginning.
130
00:09:56,859 --> 00:09:58,339
Cleansing complete.
131
00:10:21,432 --> 00:10:22,830
Stage 5:
132
00:10:23,765 --> 00:10:26,052
Evacuation beginning.
133
00:10:55,434 --> 00:10:57,033
Evacuation comp...
134
00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:08,344
Evacuation compl...
135
00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:10,729
Com...
136
00:11:11,377 --> 00:11:12,114
Com...
137
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,599
Evacuation com...
138
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:25,365
Wher...
139
00:11:25,492 --> 00:11:26,797
Where am I?
140
00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,840
You are in the ministry of defence.
141
00:11:30,585 --> 00:11:32,238
It's 1997.
142
00:11:32,487 --> 00:11:35,422
You have been cryogenically
frozen for 30 years.
143
00:11:35,723 --> 00:11:37,357
Who are these people?
144
00:11:37,525 --> 00:11:40,915
The shouting is a temporary side
effect of the unfreezing process.
145
00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:44,957
Yes, I am having difficulty controlling
the volume of my voice!
146
00:11:46,095 --> 00:11:49,128
This is Commander Gilmour,
U.S. strategic command,
147
00:11:49,153 --> 00:11:50,990
and General Borschevsky,
148
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,217
Russian intelligence.
149
00:11:52,396 --> 00:11:54,848
Russian intelligence?
Are you mad?
150
00:11:55,076 --> 00:11:57,240
A lot has happened since you were frozen.
151
00:11:57,711 --> 00:11:59,341
The Cold War is over.
152
00:11:59,366 --> 00:12:00,263
Well,
153
00:12:00,565 --> 00:12:03,868
finally those capitalist pigs
will pay for their crimes?
154
00:12:03,893 --> 00:12:05,354
Hey comrades! Hey!
155
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:06,491
Austin.
156
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:07,838
We won.
157
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:11,050
Oh, groovy. Smashing.
Yay, capitalism.
158
00:12:11,612 --> 00:12:12,612
Hello.
159
00:12:13,008 --> 00:12:13,823
Hello!
160
00:12:13,963 --> 00:12:14,932
Mr. Powers!
161
00:12:15,178 --> 00:12:16,606
The president is quite concerned.
162
00:12:16,631 --> 00:12:18,800
We have got a madman
on the loose in Nevada.
163
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,384
Dr. Evil.
164
00:12:21,651 --> 00:12:23,052
When do I begin?
165
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,087
Immediately.
166
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:26,189
You will be working
with miss Kensington.
167
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,479
Mrs. Kensington!
168
00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:29,403
Austin,
169
00:12:29,427 --> 00:12:32,248
Mrs. Kensington has long since retired.
170
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,980
Miss Kensington is her daughter.
171
00:12:36,976 --> 00:12:37,972
Here she is.
172
00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:43,974
Vanessa is one of our, top agents.
173
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:53,066
My God, Vanessa has got a fabulous body.
174
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,193
And I bet she shags like a minx.
175
00:12:57,894 --> 00:13:00,644
How do I tell them that because
of the unfreezing process,
176
00:13:00,669 --> 00:13:02,470
I have no inner monologue?
177
00:13:04,628 --> 00:13:08,298
I hope I didn't say that out loud just now.
178
00:13:12,803 --> 00:13:13,870
Mr. Powers,
179
00:13:14,071 --> 00:13:16,706
my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties.
180
00:13:16,974 --> 00:13:19,606
You know, a lot has changed since 1967.
181
00:13:20,059 --> 00:13:21,002
No doubt love,
182
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:23,282
but as long as people are
still having promiscuous sex
183
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:25,715
with many anonymous partners
without protection,
184
00:13:25,942 --> 00:13:29,678
while at the same time experimenting
with mind-expanding drugs
185
00:13:29,703 --> 00:13:31,571
in a consequence-free environment,
186
00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:33,657
I will be sound as a pound.
187
00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:40,823
Danger Powers personal effects.
188
00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:43,715
Actually, my name is Austin Powers.
189
00:13:44,147 --> 00:13:45,965
It says here name Danger Powers.
190
00:13:46,019 --> 00:13:47,480
No, no, no, no, no.
191
00:13:48,814 --> 00:13:50,657
Danger is my middle name.
192
00:13:51,995 --> 00:13:54,897
Ok. Austin Danger Powers.
193
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:58,122
One blue crushed velvet suit...
194
00:13:58,165 --> 00:13:59,098
Hey, alright.
195
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:00,936
One frilly lace cravat...
196
00:14:00,961 --> 00:14:02,194
There it is.
197
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,889
One silver medallion with male symbol.
198
00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:09,251
One pair of Italian boots.
Buongiorno boys.
199
00:14:09,276 --> 00:14:13,090
One vinyl record album
Burt Bacharach plays his hits
200
00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:14,150
Hey, Burt!
201
00:14:14,707 --> 00:14:16,963
One Swedish-made...
202
00:14:17,614 --> 00:14:19,912
Penis enlarger pump.
203
00:14:21,504 --> 00:14:22,539
That's not mine.
204
00:14:22,806 --> 00:14:24,518
One credit card receipt,
205
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:26,810
for Swedish-made penis enlarger,
206
00:14:27,677 --> 00:14:29,312
signed by Austin Powers.
207
00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:32,148
I am telling you baby, that's not mine.
208
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:36,124
One warranty card for
Swedish-made penis enlarger pump,
209
00:14:36,483 --> 00:14:37,793
filled out by...
210
00:14:38,023 --> 00:14:38,921
Austin Powers...
211
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,198
I don't even know what this is.
212
00:14:40,223 --> 00:14:42,180
This sort of thing ain't my bag baby.
213
00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:45,313
One book: Swedish-made
penis enlarger pumps and me.
214
00:14:45,338 --> 00:14:48,641
This sort of thing is my bag baby.
215
00:14:49,066 --> 00:14:49,752
By...
216
00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:51,557
Austin Powers.
217
00:14:53,669 --> 00:14:55,137
Just sign the form.
218
00:14:55,205 --> 00:14:57,051
Ok, don't get heavy man, I will sign it,
219
00:14:57,076 --> 00:14:59,143
just to get things moving, you know.
220
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:01,469
You are alright baby.
221
00:15:02,395 --> 00:15:03,396
Listen Mr. Powers.
222
00:15:04,431 --> 00:15:06,305
I.. I look forward to working with you but...
223
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,517
do me a favor and stop calling me baby.
224
00:15:09,185 --> 00:15:10,341
You can address me as...
225
00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:11,419
Agent Kensington.
226
00:15:12,122 --> 00:15:13,247
Oh, come on.
227
00:15:14,697 --> 00:15:15,694
Alright then...
228
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:16,497
Vanessa.
229
00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,393
Was that so hard?
230
00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:21,964
Now come along.
We have to leave immediately.
231
00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:24,394
We preserved your private jet
just as you left it.
232
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,994
It's waiting at Heathrow airport.
233
00:15:26,937 --> 00:15:28,214
My jumbo jet!
234
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:29,855
Smashing baby!
235
00:15:30,773 --> 00:15:31,644
Sorry.
236
00:15:32,442 --> 00:15:33,509
Mr. Powers?
237
00:15:37,314 --> 00:15:38,227
Quickly.
238
00:15:39,042 --> 00:15:40,710
Quickly. Come on lad. Let's go.
239
00:15:55,702 --> 00:15:58,701
Gentlemen, welcome
to my underground lair.
240
00:15:59,169 --> 00:16:01,531
It's been 30 years, but I am back.
241
00:16:02,055 --> 00:16:04,190
Everything is gone perfectly to plan
242
00:16:04,215 --> 00:16:06,282
except for one small flaw,
243
00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:09,936
due to a technical error
by my henchman Mustafa,
244
00:16:10,158 --> 00:16:13,780
complications arose
in the unfreezing process.
245
00:16:14,218 --> 00:16:15,802
But my design was perfect.
246
00:16:16,369 --> 00:16:18,771
Look what you did to Mr. Bigglesworth!
247
00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:21,772
But Dr. Evil,
248
00:16:21,829 --> 00:16:24,193
we were unable to anticipate
249
00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:27,171
feline complications
to the reanimation process...
250
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,230
Silence!
251
00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:38,957
Let this be a reminder to you all
252
00:16:38,982 --> 00:16:42,033
that this organization
will not tolerate failure.
253
00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:48,579
Gentlemen,
254
00:16:48,955 --> 00:16:50,870
let's get down to business.
255
00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:56,909
We have got a lot of work to do.
256
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,178
Someone help me!
257
00:16:58,545 --> 00:17:00,966
I am still alive, only I am very...
258
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,584
badly burned.
259
00:17:04,451 --> 00:17:06,270
Some of you I know,
260
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:08,474
some of you I am meeting for the first time.
261
00:17:09,022 --> 00:17:10,303
Hello out there!
262
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:11,724
Anyone!
263
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:13,677
Could someone call an ambulance?
264
00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:14,688
I am in quite...
265
00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:16,037
A lot of pain.
266
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:16,815
Ok.
267
00:17:16,846 --> 00:17:19,481
You have all been been gathered here
to form my Evil Cabinet.
268
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,541
Excuse me.
269
00:17:21,368 --> 00:17:22,702
Yes. He is down there.
270
00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:24,057
No, not dead...
271
00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:25,807
Burned.
272
00:17:25,976 --> 00:17:26,837
Badly.
273
00:17:28,575 --> 00:17:29,454
Yes.
274
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,416
Right.
275
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:35,267
If somebody could open the retrieval
hatch down here, I could get out.
276
00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:37,950
See, I designed this device myself,
277
00:17:39,218 --> 00:17:40,600
Hi. Good.
278
00:17:40,987 --> 00:17:42,621
I am glad you found me.
Listen...
279
00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:44,510
I am very badly burned,
280
00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:45,457
so if you could just...
281
00:17:46,927 --> 00:17:48,127
You shot me!
282
00:17:48,922 --> 00:17:50,038
Ok, moving along,
283
00:17:50,063 --> 00:17:52,098
You shot me right in the arm!
284
00:17:52,275 --> 00:17:53,122
Why did...
285
00:18:04,774 --> 00:18:05,642
Right.
286
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:08,688
Let me go around the table
and introduce everyone.
287
00:18:08,828 --> 00:18:10,110
Frau Farbissina.
288
00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:13,570
Founder of the militant wing
of the salvation army.
289
00:18:14,071 --> 00:18:15,594
Random Task.
290
00:18:15,838 --> 00:18:17,450
Korean ex-wrestler,
291
00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:19,876
Evil handyman extraordinaire.
292
00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:21,119
Random Task,
293
00:18:21,696 --> 00:18:23,196
show them what you do.
294
00:18:37,776 --> 00:18:38,959
Patty O'brien.
295
00:18:39,711 --> 00:18:41,295
Ex-Irish assassin.
296
00:18:41,389 --> 00:18:43,661
His trademark, a superstitious man,
297
00:18:43,686 --> 00:18:46,485
he leaves a tiny keepsake
from his good luck bracelet
298
00:18:46,553 --> 00:18:48,423
on every victim he kills.
299
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:50,839
Scotland yard would love to get their hands
300
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:52,925
on that piece of evidence.
301
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:53,928
Yeah.
302
00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:56,195
They are always after me lucky charms.
303
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:02,579
What?
304
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:04,770
Why is everyone always laugh
when I say that?
305
00:19:05,238 --> 00:19:07,190
They are after me lucky charms!
306
00:19:08,258 --> 00:19:09,158
What?
307
00:19:09,803 --> 00:19:12,812
It's a television commercial,
308
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:15,297
with this cartoon leprechaun,
309
00:19:15,465 --> 00:19:17,700
and all of these children
are trying to chase him,
310
00:19:17,768 --> 00:19:19,496
Hey, leprechaun man!
Leprechaun man!
311
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,212
Won't you give your lucky charms?
312
00:19:22,389 --> 00:19:25,708
Oh, and there is always these
little tiny bits of marshmallows
313
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:27,613
just stuck right in the cereal.
314
00:19:27,642 --> 00:19:29,462
So that when the kids eat them, they think.
315
00:19:29,487 --> 00:19:31,623
Oh, this is candy, I am having fun!
316
00:19:34,951 --> 00:19:37,498
Finally, we come to my number-two man.
317
00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:38,591
His name.
318
00:19:39,773 --> 00:19:40,907
Number Two.
319
00:19:41,176 --> 00:19:44,161
For 30 years, number Two
has run Virtucon,
320
00:19:44,311 --> 00:19:47,231
the legitimate face, of my evil empire.
321
00:19:49,016 --> 00:19:50,090
Dr. Evil,
322
00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:52,077
over the last 30 years,
323
00:19:52,351 --> 00:19:54,783
Virtucon has grown by leaps and bounds.
324
00:19:55,857 --> 00:19:57,577
About 15 years ago,
325
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:59,875
we changed from volatile chemicals,
326
00:19:59,910 --> 00:20:01,702
to the communications industry.
327
00:20:03,007 --> 00:20:05,865
We own cable companies in 38 states.
328
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:08,212
We own a steel mill in Cleveland,
329
00:20:08,397 --> 00:20:09,765
shipping in Texas,
330
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,812
oil refineries in Seattle,
331
00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:13,648
and a factory in Chicago,
332
00:20:13,773 --> 00:20:15,202
that makes miniature models...
333
00:20:15,366 --> 00:20:16,418
of factories.
334
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,038
Naturally yes.
335
00:20:18,778 --> 00:20:19,778
Gentlemen.
336
00:20:22,282 --> 00:20:23,550
I have a plan.
337
00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,338
It's called blackmail.
338
00:20:35,929 --> 00:20:40,609
As you know, the royal family of Britain are
the wealthiest landowners in the world.
339
00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:43,195
Either the royal family,
340
00:20:43,631 --> 00:20:45,771
pays us an exorbitant amount of money,
341
00:20:45,772 --> 00:20:47,883
or we make it seem that prince Charles,
342
00:20:47,975 --> 00:20:50,359
has had an affair outside of marriage,
343
00:20:50,384 --> 00:20:51,865
and therefore...
344
00:20:52,557 --> 00:20:54,427
would have to divorce.
345
00:20:57,294 --> 00:20:59,068
Prince Charles did have an affair,
346
00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:01,937
he admitted it and they are now divorced.
347
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:05,081
Right. Ok people, you have
to tell me these things, alright?
348
00:21:05,106 --> 00:21:08,612
I have been frozen for 30 years, ok?
349
00:21:09,679 --> 00:21:11,747
Throw me a fricking bone here.
350
00:21:11,995 --> 00:21:13,351
I am the boss.
351
00:21:13,708 --> 00:21:15,035
Need the info.
352
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,487
Ok, no problem.
353
00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:19,414
Here is my second plan.
354
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:20,806
Back in the sixties,
355
00:21:20,807 --> 00:21:22,741
I developed a weather changing machine,
356
00:21:22,809 --> 00:21:26,879
which was in essence a sophisticated
heat beam which we called a laser.
357
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:28,484
Using these...
358
00:21:28,652 --> 00:21:29,644
lasers,
359
00:21:29,669 --> 00:21:32,584
we punch a hole in the protective
layer around the world,
360
00:21:32,652 --> 00:21:35,246
which we call the ozone layer.
361
00:21:35,989 --> 00:21:39,508
Slowly, but surely,
ultraviolet rays would pour in,
362
00:21:39,637 --> 00:21:42,261
increasing the risk of skin cancer.
363
00:21:42,286 --> 00:21:44,487
That is unless...
364
00:21:45,713 --> 00:21:47,296
The world pays us...
365
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,697
A hefty ransom.
366
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:56,151
That also...
367
00:21:56,552 --> 00:21:57,893
already has happened.
368
00:21:58,550 --> 00:21:59,573
Shit.
369
00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:03,449
Oh hell, let's just do what we always do,
370
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:06,229
hijack some nuclear weapons
and hold the world hostage.
371
00:22:07,011 --> 00:22:07,653
Good.
372
00:22:07,754 --> 00:22:09,598
Gentlemen, it's come to my attention
373
00:22:09,623 --> 00:22:12,077
that a break away Russian Republic,
Kreplachistan
374
00:22:12,102 --> 00:22:14,226
is about to transfer a nuclear warhead
375
00:22:14,294 --> 00:22:16,295
to the united nations in a few days.
376
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,553
Here is the plan.
377
00:22:18,264 --> 00:22:19,618
We get the warhead,
378
00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,769
and we hold the world ransom for...
379
00:22:23,637 --> 00:22:26,005
1 million dollars!
380
00:22:30,077 --> 00:22:32,509
Don't you think we should maybe ask
381
00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:34,509
for more than a million dollars?
382
00:22:34,534 --> 00:22:37,401
A million dollars isn't exactly
a lot of money these days.
383
00:22:38,127 --> 00:22:41,779
Virtucon alone makes over
9 billion dollars a year.
384
00:22:41,988 --> 00:22:42,844
Really?
385
00:22:43,457 --> 00:22:44,491
That's a lot more.
386
00:22:45,658 --> 00:22:46,553
Ok then.
387
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,229
We hold the world ransom for...
388
00:22:50,997 --> 00:22:55,061
100 Billion dollars!
389
00:22:59,556 --> 00:23:01,557
Pretty groovy jumbo jet?
390
00:23:02,027 --> 00:23:03,831
When you see this jet a-rocking,
391
00:23:03,856 --> 00:23:05,941
don't come a-knocking, baby! Yeah!
392
00:23:06,456 --> 00:23:08,631
I am going to need you
to sign these release forms.
393
00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:09,999
Release forms?
394
00:23:10,066 --> 00:23:12,418
Yes. You are not officially working
for ministry of defence,
395
00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:14,969
and these forms indemnify
the ministry against any...
396
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,013
mishaps that may occur in the line of duty.
397
00:23:18,081 --> 00:23:19,132
Mishaps?
398
00:23:19,425 --> 00:23:23,195
But isn't that what being an international
man of mystery is all about?
399
00:23:24,113 --> 00:23:25,325
Ok. Name.
400
00:23:25,744 --> 00:23:26,544
Austin...
401
00:23:27,145 --> 00:23:28,518
Danger Powers.
402
00:23:29,064 --> 00:23:30,604
Sex. Yes, please!
403
00:23:32,721 --> 00:23:34,518
How does a hot chick like you end up
404
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:36,518
working in the ministry of defence?
405
00:23:38,026 --> 00:23:39,211
Well, I went to Oxford,
406
00:23:39,479 --> 00:23:40,198
where I...
407
00:23:40,365 --> 00:23:41,823
excelled in several subjects,
408
00:23:42,012 --> 00:23:44,180
but I ended up specializing
in foreign languages.
409
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:45,951
Now I really wanted to travel.
410
00:23:46,052 --> 00:23:47,240
You know sort of...
411
00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:49,138
see the world?
That's fascinating Vanessa.
412
00:23:49,163 --> 00:23:51,212
Listen, why don't we go
in the back and shag?
413
00:23:51,574 --> 00:23:52,591
What?
414
00:23:52,859 --> 00:23:54,043
I have been frozen for 30 years.
415
00:23:54,068 --> 00:23:56,529
I have got to see if my bits
and pieces are still working.
416
00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:57,910
Excuse me?
417
00:23:57,935 --> 00:23:59,422
My wedding tackle.
418
00:23:59,447 --> 00:24:00,454
I am sorry.
419
00:24:00,479 --> 00:24:02,981
My meat and 2 veg, my twig and berries.
420
00:24:03,186 --> 00:24:05,805
Hello lads, you still awake lads?
Mr. Powers, Mr. Powers please.
421
00:24:06,752 --> 00:24:08,111
I would appreciate it if you could...
422
00:24:08,482 --> 00:24:09,853
concentrate on our mission...
423
00:24:10,174 --> 00:24:11,994
and give your libido a rest.
424
00:24:13,212 --> 00:24:14,247
Can I...
425
00:24:15,627 --> 00:24:17,583
Can I show you something?
426
00:24:32,056 --> 00:24:33,369
I won't bite...
427
00:24:34,443 --> 00:24:35,534
Hard.
428
00:24:40,273 --> 00:24:41,338
Alright.
429
00:24:43,418 --> 00:24:45,204
Let me ask you a question,
430
00:24:45,411 --> 00:24:46,712
and be honest.
431
00:24:48,949 --> 00:24:50,579
Do I make you horny?
432
00:24:50,884 --> 00:24:51,884
Randy?
433
00:24:52,251 --> 00:24:55,153
Do I make you horny baby?
Yeah, do I?
434
00:24:55,384 --> 00:24:58,104
I hope this is part of the unfreezing process.
435
00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:00,611
Oh, turbulence! Oh, look at that!
436
00:25:00,636 --> 00:25:03,024
Oh, turbulence!
Oh, I have gone over!
437
00:25:03,073 --> 00:25:05,047
Oh, I fell over again!
438
00:25:06,265 --> 00:25:07,334
Mr. Powers!
439
00:25:08,461 --> 00:25:10,319
I will never have sex with you.
440
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,186
Ever!
441
00:25:11,417 --> 00:25:12,805
If you were the last man on earth,
442
00:25:12,830 --> 00:25:14,274
and I was the last woman on earth,
443
00:25:14,324 --> 00:25:16,917
and the future of the human race
depended on our having sex,
444
00:25:16,942 --> 00:25:18,251
simply for procreation,
445
00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:20,422
I still would not have sex with you.
446
00:25:21,717 --> 00:25:23,035
What's your point Vanessa?
447
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,502
Remember when we froze your semen?
448
00:25:44,758 --> 00:25:47,305
You said if it didn't look
like you were coming back,
449
00:25:47,372 --> 00:25:49,125
we should try to make you a son,
450
00:25:49,150 --> 00:25:50,941
so that a part of you could live forever.
451
00:25:50,995 --> 00:25:51,714
Oh, sure.
452
00:25:51,739 --> 00:25:54,705
Well after a couple of years, we...
453
00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:56,346
got a little impatient.
454
00:25:57,554 --> 00:25:58,745
Dr. Evil,
455
00:25:59,110 --> 00:26:01,588
I want you to meet your son.
456
00:26:01,838 --> 00:26:02,830
My son?
457
00:26:03,056 --> 00:26:03,877
Ja.
458
00:26:04,622 --> 00:26:05,970
Scott!
459
00:26:14,662 --> 00:26:15,702
Hello Scott.
460
00:26:16,269 --> 00:26:17,061
Hi.
461
00:26:18,187 --> 00:26:19,491
I am your father.
462
00:26:21,021 --> 00:26:22,356
Dr. Evil.
463
00:26:25,245 --> 00:26:27,121
I have not seen you my whole life,
464
00:26:27,145 --> 00:26:30,473
and now you come back
and just expect a relationship?
465
00:26:31,717 --> 00:26:32,918
I hate you.
466
00:26:36,545 --> 00:26:37,545
What?
467
00:26:37,998 --> 00:26:39,377
Could I have a hug?
468
00:26:40,385 --> 00:26:41,221
No.
469
00:26:42,596 --> 00:26:43,979
Give me a hug.
No way.
470
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,480
Come here.
I am not coming over there.
471
00:26:45,505 --> 00:26:46,605
Let's go.
Forget it.
472
00:26:46,716 --> 00:26:47,380
Pronto.
473
00:26:47,603 --> 00:26:48,506
What are you doing?
474
00:26:48,651 --> 00:26:49,596
I am with it.
475
00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:51,253
I am hip.
476
00:27:05,635 --> 00:27:07,934
Don't look at me like
I am fricking Frankenstein.
477
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:09,260
Give your father a hug.
478
00:27:09,773 --> 00:27:11,807
You are...
Hey, don't touch me!
479
00:27:12,708 --> 00:27:13,411
Hug.
480
00:27:13,708 --> 00:27:15,163
Hug.
Get away from me,
481
00:27:15,187 --> 00:27:16,562
you lazy-eyed psycho!
482
00:27:33,357 --> 00:27:35,315
Viva Las Vegas, baby!
483
00:27:35,316 --> 00:27:36,416
Yeah!
484
00:27:48,294 --> 00:27:49,461
Welcome to Las Vegas sir.
485
00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:53,832
So...
486
00:27:54,567 --> 00:27:56,202
Which side of the bed do you want?
487
00:27:56,821 --> 00:27:58,837
You are sleeping on the sofa Mr. Powers.
488
00:27:58,983 --> 00:27:59,989
In fact,
489
00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:02,324
I would like to take this opportunity
to remind you,
490
00:28:02,392 --> 00:28:04,076
that the only reason we are sharing a room
491
00:28:04,143 --> 00:28:06,857
is to keep up the context that
we are a married couple on vacation.
492
00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:08,097
Right.
493
00:28:08,264 --> 00:28:11,166
Should we shag now,
or shall we shag later?
494
00:28:11,577 --> 00:28:12,643
How do you like to do it?
495
00:28:12,668 --> 00:28:14,069
Do you like to wash up first.
496
00:28:14,070 --> 00:28:15,448
You know, top and tails,
497
00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:16,822
whore's bath?
498
00:28:17,190 --> 00:28:18,947
Personally, before I am on the job,
499
00:28:18,972 --> 00:28:21,875
I like to give my undercarriage
a bit of a how is-your-father.
500
00:28:23,897 --> 00:28:25,403
I am just joking Vanessa.
501
00:28:25,428 --> 00:28:27,622
I am just trying to get
a rise out of you, that's all.
502
00:28:27,647 --> 00:28:29,248
For shits and giggles.
503
00:28:30,152 --> 00:28:31,253
Let's unpack.
504
00:28:37,968 --> 00:28:39,136
Gor blimey.
505
00:28:39,599 --> 00:28:40,912
Nude alert!
506
00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:57,257
How did this get in here?
507
00:28:57,451 --> 00:28:59,441
Somebody is playing a prank on me.
508
00:28:59,591 --> 00:29:01,326
Honestly, it's not mine.
509
00:29:02,177 --> 00:29:04,102
Hey, Americans, yeah!
510
00:29:04,630 --> 00:29:05,990
Enjoy that wine.
511
00:29:06,172 --> 00:29:07,492
Hey, there you are.
512
00:29:07,682 --> 00:29:08,906
Hi.
Do I know you?
513
00:29:08,931 --> 00:29:10,586
No, but that's where you are.
You are there.
514
00:29:10,623 --> 00:29:12,976
Hey, viva Las Vegas baby.
515
00:29:13,179 --> 00:29:13,879
Hey.
516
00:29:13,947 --> 00:29:14,980
Ok, how are you.
Austin.
517
00:29:15,248 --> 00:29:16,165
Yes.
Austin,
518
00:29:16,189 --> 00:29:18,551
there is a company
in Las Vegas called Virtucon,
519
00:29:18,639 --> 00:29:20,474
which we think may be linked to Dr. Evil.
520
00:29:21,421 --> 00:29:24,390
Plenty of the Virtucon executives
are gambling in this casino.
521
00:29:25,358 --> 00:29:26,825
Smashing.
Let's go.
522
00:29:27,192 --> 00:29:28,360
Look. There is one over there.
523
00:29:29,041 --> 00:29:30,124
Changing 1,000.
524
00:29:30,377 --> 00:29:31,216
Hello.
525
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:32,748
Excuse me.
526
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:37,792
Do you mind if I join you?
527
00:29:38,321 --> 00:29:39,245
Not at all.
528
00:29:41,607 --> 00:29:43,041
The game is Blackjack gentlemen.
529
00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:45,651
10,000 dollars minimum bet.
530
00:29:46,228 --> 00:29:48,497
King for you sir and a 3 for you.
531
00:29:51,281 --> 00:29:52,331
17.
532
00:30:00,252 --> 00:30:01,126
Hit me.
533
00:30:01,247 --> 00:30:03,166
You have 17 sir.
534
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:06,237
I like to live dangerously.
535
00:30:10,086 --> 00:30:10,711
4.
536
00:30:10,921 --> 00:30:11,687
21.
537
00:30:18,629 --> 00:30:19,446
5.
538
00:30:22,535 --> 00:30:23,872
I will stay.
539
00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:27,044
I suggest you hit sir.
540
00:30:29,857 --> 00:30:32,716
I also like to live dangerously.
541
00:30:33,391 --> 00:30:34,888
As you wish sir.
542
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:39,534
20 beats your 5.
543
00:30:40,314 --> 00:30:41,730
I am sorry sir.
544
00:30:42,118 --> 00:30:43,612
Well, I won't lie to you.
545
00:30:44,414 --> 00:30:46,466
Cards are not my bag baby.
546
00:30:47,257 --> 00:30:49,509
Allow myself to introduce...
547
00:30:51,326 --> 00:30:52,184
Myself.
548
00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:55,372
My name is Richie Cunningham,
549
00:30:56,493 --> 00:30:58,244
and this is my wife Oprah.
550
00:31:00,791 --> 00:31:02,291
My name is Number Two.
551
00:31:03,022 --> 00:31:05,357
This is my Italian confidential secretary.
552
00:31:05,358 --> 00:31:06,697
Her name is Alotta.
553
00:31:07,337 --> 00:31:08,539
Alotta Fagina.
554
00:31:10,703 --> 00:31:11,507
Come again?
555
00:31:11,918 --> 00:31:13,235
Alotta Fagina.
556
00:31:13,933 --> 00:31:15,336
I am sorry.
I am just not getting it.
557
00:31:15,361 --> 00:31:17,397
It sounded like you said
your name was a lot of...
558
00:31:19,723 --> 00:31:20,724
Never mind.
559
00:31:23,459 --> 00:31:26,127
What exactly do you do Mr. Number Two?
560
00:31:26,554 --> 00:31:27,763
That's my business.
561
00:31:28,981 --> 00:31:29,989
Now if you will excuse me,
562
00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:31,641
I have to go to the little boys room.
563
00:31:33,602 --> 00:31:35,571
You keep your eye on the Italian bird.
564
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:37,899
We will rendezvous back at the hotel suite.
565
00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:56,712
You didn't happen to see...
566
00:31:57,558 --> 00:31:58,915
Anything at all.
567
00:32:00,579 --> 00:32:01,630
Sorry.
568
00:32:15,428 --> 00:32:16,386
Howdy.
569
00:32:23,626 --> 00:32:25,994
That is one crazy get up
you got there fella.
570
00:32:26,019 --> 00:32:26,886
Oh thank you.
571
00:32:27,207 --> 00:32:28,340
Are you in the show?
572
00:32:29,107 --> 00:32:30,741
No. Actually I am English.
573
00:32:32,110 --> 00:32:33,145
I am sorry.
574
00:32:34,113 --> 00:32:34,968
Right.
575
00:32:45,065 --> 00:32:46,168
Hey partner?
576
00:32:46,422 --> 00:32:47,657
Have a good one.
577
00:32:48,218 --> 00:32:49,218
Ok.
578
00:33:12,935 --> 00:33:15,295
Hey partner, come on you got to relax.
Don't force it.
579
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,588
Gonna blow out your o-ring, drop a log.
580
00:33:30,819 --> 00:33:35,918
Who does Number Two work for?
581
00:33:36,567 --> 00:33:40,377
Who does Number Two work for?
582
00:33:40,402 --> 00:33:43,004
That's right buddy.
You show that turd who is boss.
583
00:33:45,801 --> 00:33:47,960
Hey. Hey, just grab a hold of something,
584
00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:49,524
bite your lip and give it hell.
585
00:33:49,525 --> 00:33:50,389
Come on.
586
00:33:50,856 --> 00:33:52,157
We are gonna get through this.
587
00:33:56,857 --> 00:33:58,374
Hey, that sounds pretty nasty.
588
00:33:58,399 --> 00:34:00,068
How about a courtesy flush over there?
589
00:34:09,175 --> 00:34:10,909
Jesus Christ boy.
590
00:34:11,333 --> 00:34:12,751
What did you eat?
591
00:34:24,106 --> 00:34:25,085
Gentlemen,
592
00:34:25,386 --> 00:34:27,209
the warhead is ours.
593
00:34:28,476 --> 00:34:32,281
Patch me through to the united
nations security secret meeting room.
594
00:34:34,317 --> 00:34:36,668
Gentlemen my name is Dr. Evil.
595
00:34:37,387 --> 00:34:42,059
In a little while you will notice that the
kreplachistani warhead has gone missing.
596
00:34:42,354 --> 00:34:43,839
If you want it back,
597
00:34:43,927 --> 00:34:45,679
you are going to have to pay me...
598
00:34:47,444 --> 00:34:49,837
1 million dollars!
599
00:34:56,915 --> 00:34:57,906
Sorry.
600
00:34:59,525 --> 00:35:02,295
100 billion dollars.
601
00:35:02,779 --> 00:35:04,327
Gentlemen silence.
602
00:35:05,489 --> 00:35:06,217
Now,
603
00:35:06,724 --> 00:35:08,015
Mr. Evil,
604
00:35:08,087 --> 00:35:09,372
Dr. Evil.
605
00:35:09,483 --> 00:35:11,746
I didn't spend 6 years in evil medical school
606
00:35:11,771 --> 00:35:14,160
to be called mister, thank you very much.
607
00:35:14,496 --> 00:35:16,958
It is the policy of the united nations,
608
00:35:17,165 --> 00:35:19,426
not to negotiate with terrorists.
609
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:21,019
Really?
610
00:35:22,281 --> 00:35:23,415
So long.
611
00:35:30,618 --> 00:35:31,587
Gentlemen,
612
00:35:31,746 --> 00:35:33,623
in exactly 5 days,
613
00:35:33,648 --> 00:35:37,618
we will be 100 billion dollars richer.
614
00:36:13,535 --> 00:36:14,772
Hello mummy?
615
00:36:15,220 --> 00:36:16,912
Oh, hello Vanessa.
616
00:36:17,015 --> 00:36:18,449
And how is Austin?
617
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,061
He is asleep.
618
00:36:20,959 --> 00:36:21,890
You didn't?
619
00:36:22,157 --> 00:36:23,069
No!
620
00:36:23,426 --> 00:36:24,961
I made him sleep on the sofa.
621
00:36:25,276 --> 00:36:26,130
Vanessa,
622
00:36:26,591 --> 00:36:28,166
I am proud of you.
623
00:36:28,832 --> 00:36:29,599
Why?
624
00:36:29,941 --> 00:36:30,927
Because,
625
00:36:31,369 --> 00:36:34,244
you have managed
to resist Austin Powers' charms.
626
00:36:34,345 --> 00:36:36,671
Oh well, God knows he tried mummy.
627
00:36:36,870 --> 00:36:38,972
I actually had to end up
being rather firm with him.
628
00:36:39,487 --> 00:36:40,728
What about his teeth?
629
00:36:40,753 --> 00:36:42,238
It's really bizarre.
630
00:36:42,263 --> 00:36:44,147
Darling, you have to understand,
631
00:36:44,863 --> 00:36:46,865
in Britain in the sixties,
632
00:36:47,391 --> 00:36:50,233
you could be a sex symbol
and still have bad teeth.
633
00:36:50,524 --> 00:36:51,719
It didn't matter.
634
00:36:51,744 --> 00:36:52,811
Did you ever?
635
00:36:53,063 --> 00:36:53,741
Me?
636
00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:55,700
No, of course not.
637
00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:57,715
I was married to your father.
638
00:36:57,810 --> 00:36:58,944
Did you ever want to?
639
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:00,790
Austin is...
640
00:37:01,060 --> 00:37:02,262
very charming,
641
00:37:02,438 --> 00:37:03,802
very debonair.
642
00:37:04,792 --> 00:37:06,785
He is handsome, witty,
643
00:37:07,146 --> 00:37:08,846
has a knowledge of fine wines.
644
00:37:09,601 --> 00:37:11,001
Women want him,
645
00:37:11,026 --> 00:37:12,682
and men want to be him.
646
00:37:13,159 --> 00:37:16,596
Every bit an international man of mystery.
647
00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:18,930
Yeah well, you didn't answer my question mummy.
648
00:37:19,098 --> 00:37:20,233
I know.
649
00:37:21,467 --> 00:37:22,896
Let me just say this,
650
00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:26,029
Austin was the most loyal and...
651
00:37:26,304 --> 00:37:28,173
Caring friend I ever had.
652
00:37:29,395 --> 00:37:30,895
I will always love him.
653
00:37:34,684 --> 00:37:35,809
Do you want to speak to him?
654
00:37:35,951 --> 00:37:37,835
No. It's been too long.
655
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,745
Ok, well I am going to have to go mummy,
but I love you.
656
00:37:41,062 --> 00:37:42,167
Ciao darling.
657
00:37:48,091 --> 00:37:49,718
A limo is just pulled up.
658
00:37:50,852 --> 00:37:52,047
Let me see.
659
00:37:54,508 --> 00:37:56,133
That's Dr. Evil's cat.
660
00:37:56,352 --> 00:37:57,248
How can you tell?
661
00:37:57,273 --> 00:37:58,774
I never forget a pussy...
662
00:37:59,155 --> 00:37:59,855
Cat.
663
00:38:02,875 --> 00:38:04,628
Oh no.
He is gone away.
664
00:38:08,129 --> 00:38:09,197
My God Vanessa,
665
00:38:09,697 --> 00:38:11,833
you are so incredibly beautiful.
666
00:38:13,961 --> 00:38:15,226
That's it.
Yes.
667
00:38:15,421 --> 00:38:16,504
Yes. Yes.
668
00:38:16,696 --> 00:38:17,866
Come on darling,
669
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,902
I am gonna take you out
for a night on the town.
670
00:38:32,075 --> 00:38:34,731
Ladies and gentlemen Mr. Burt Bacharach.
671
00:39:38,055 --> 00:39:40,031
Oh yeah.
Oh go on Austin, get on with it.
672
00:39:40,056 --> 00:39:41,899
I am gonna do it.
I am gonna do it.
673
00:39:42,774 --> 00:39:43,839
Oh, go on.
674
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:45,410
Do it a bit.
Yes!
675
00:39:47,179 --> 00:39:48,685
Right hand green!
676
00:39:48,914 --> 00:39:50,919
Oh, no, no...
677
00:39:53,518 --> 00:39:54,686
You alright?
678
00:39:55,454 --> 00:39:57,021
You alright?
Oh, you know what?
679
00:39:57,389 --> 00:39:59,241
Wait a tick.
I forgot something in the lobby.
680
00:40:01,243 --> 00:40:03,345
Why don't I take the stairs?
681
00:40:07,382 --> 00:40:09,270
Why take the stairs when I could take...
682
00:40:09,567 --> 00:40:10,946
the escalator?
683
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:19,819
Why take the escalator when
I have got a perfectly good canoe?
684
00:40:23,498 --> 00:40:24,565
I know what.
685
00:40:24,848 --> 00:40:26,277
I will take the elevator.
686
00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:31,847
Austin!
687
00:40:31,941 --> 00:40:32,841
Yes?
688
00:40:33,975 --> 00:40:35,434
Come have some champagne with me.
689
00:40:35,549 --> 00:40:36,349
Ok.
690
00:40:37,943 --> 00:40:39,106
Oh, I tripped.
691
00:40:40,614 --> 00:40:42,533
You know, I have not had
this much fun since college.
692
00:40:42,749 --> 00:40:44,083
Well I am sorry.
693
00:40:45,028 --> 00:40:45,736
Why?
694
00:40:45,862 --> 00:40:48,448
I am sorry that bug up your ass had to die.
695
00:40:52,266 --> 00:40:55,210
Always wanting to have fun Austin.
That's you in a nutshell.
696
00:40:55,250 --> 00:40:56,805
No. This is me in a nutshell.
697
00:40:56,891 --> 00:40:58,482
Help!
I am in a nutshell!
698
00:40:58,755 --> 00:41:00,739
How did I get into this nutshell?
699
00:41:00,936 --> 00:41:03,071
Look at the size of this bloody great big nutsh,
700
00:41:03,139 --> 00:41:05,935
what sort of shell has a nut like this?
701
00:41:05,962 --> 00:41:07,333
This is crazy.
702
00:41:08,244 --> 00:41:09,712
Yes.
Look at you.
703
00:41:10,064 --> 00:41:10,945
No.
704
00:41:11,299 --> 00:41:12,955
You are smashed.
No, I am not.
705
00:41:13,182 --> 00:41:14,025
Yes, you are.
706
00:41:14,050 --> 00:41:15,353
No, I am not.
I am the sensible one.
707
00:41:15,384 --> 00:41:17,419
I am always the designated driver.
708
00:41:21,321 --> 00:41:23,062
Oh, kiss me.
I can't darling.
709
00:41:23,087 --> 00:41:23,882
Why not?
710
00:41:23,907 --> 00:41:25,376
Because you are drunk.
It's not right.
711
00:41:25,532 --> 00:41:27,437
No, I am not drunk.
I am just beginning to see
712
00:41:27,462 --> 00:41:29,563
what my mummy was talking
about all those years ago.
713
00:41:30,050 --> 00:41:31,084
I can't.
714
00:41:33,544 --> 00:41:34,511
Alright well,
715
00:41:34,563 --> 00:41:36,167
tell me all about my mummy in the sixties.
716
00:41:36,192 --> 00:41:37,698
I am dying to know what she was like.
717
00:41:39,353 --> 00:41:41,159
She was very groovy.
718
00:41:44,423 --> 00:41:46,235
Your dad loved her very much.
719
00:41:49,547 --> 00:41:51,295
If there was one other cat in this world
720
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,055
that could have loved her
and treated her as well as your dad,
721
00:41:55,039 --> 00:41:56,306
well it was me.
722
00:41:58,241 --> 00:41:59,763
But unfortunately.
723
00:42:00,438 --> 00:42:01,865
For yours truly.
724
00:42:05,548 --> 00:42:07,027
That train has sailed.
725
00:42:11,605 --> 00:42:12,551
Vanessa?
726
00:42:13,478 --> 00:42:14,847
Vanessa hello?
727
00:42:16,472 --> 00:42:17,879
Come on, roll over.
728
00:42:18,282 --> 00:42:19,517
Sleepy time.
729
00:42:24,669 --> 00:42:26,243
Ok, Austin needs his hand back.
730
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,178
You have got mail!
731
00:42:37,099 --> 00:42:38,199
Hello Austin.
732
00:42:38,548 --> 00:42:40,003
This is Basil exposition,
733
00:42:40,028 --> 00:42:41,378
from British intelligence.
734
00:42:41,621 --> 00:42:42,381
Now,
735
00:42:42,616 --> 00:42:43,741
I want you to find out
736
00:42:43,871 --> 00:42:46,269
what part Virtucon plays in
something called...
737
00:42:46,451 --> 00:42:47,761
project Vulcan.
738
00:42:47,895 --> 00:42:51,274
I will need you to go to Alotta
Fagina's penthouse immediately.
739
00:43:19,475 --> 00:43:20,841
Hello, hello.
740
00:43:26,060 --> 00:43:27,916
Yes, yes, ok, great.
741
00:43:31,853 --> 00:43:33,287
Project Vulcan.
742
00:43:33,964 --> 00:43:35,569
Yeah, ok.
743
00:43:35,889 --> 00:43:37,171
Yeah. Yeah.
744
00:43:37,676 --> 00:43:39,194
Come on baby, give it to me.
745
00:43:39,219 --> 00:43:40,358
Yes, yes, yes,
746
00:43:40,383 --> 00:43:41,416
No! No!
747
00:43:49,296 --> 00:43:52,066
You seem surprised to see me miss Fagina.
748
00:43:53,379 --> 00:43:55,252
What do you want Mr...
749
00:43:56,063 --> 00:43:57,562
Cunningham was it?
750
00:43:57,869 --> 00:43:59,010
Your boss...
751
00:43:59,581 --> 00:44:00,600
Number Two,
752
00:44:01,073 --> 00:44:05,437
I understand that cat is involved
in big underground drills.
753
00:44:06,134 --> 00:44:07,369
How did you know?
754
00:44:08,010 --> 00:44:09,252
I didn't baby.
755
00:44:09,821 --> 00:44:11,434
You just told me.
756
00:44:12,013 --> 00:44:14,047
We can talk about business later.
757
00:44:14,529 --> 00:44:17,012
Let me slip into something more comfortable.
758
00:44:17,603 --> 00:44:19,481
Oh behave.
759
00:44:30,245 --> 00:44:31,345
Good God.
760
00:45:09,301 --> 00:45:10,402
Come in...
761
00:45:11,398 --> 00:45:13,885
And I will show you everything
you need to know.
762
00:45:45,170 --> 00:45:47,153
May I wash you?
763
00:45:47,178 --> 00:45:49,580
Oh, groovy baby.
764
00:46:01,352 --> 00:46:02,387
Yes...
765
00:46:02,755 --> 00:46:05,124
That feels yummy.
766
00:46:12,599 --> 00:46:13,803
In Japan,
767
00:46:14,106 --> 00:46:17,349
men come first and women come second.
768
00:46:17,809 --> 00:46:19,576
Or sometimes not at all.
769
00:46:22,741 --> 00:46:25,443
Care for some sake?
770
00:46:25,837 --> 00:46:27,693
Sake it to me baby.
771
00:46:31,344 --> 00:46:32,277
Yes.
772
00:46:32,641 --> 00:46:33,495
Kinky.
773
00:46:33,837 --> 00:46:34,902
Klinky.
774
00:46:45,152 --> 00:46:47,398
How do you feel Mr. Cunningham?
775
00:46:48,746 --> 00:46:52,202
I feel extreme relaxation.
776
00:46:57,444 --> 00:47:00,258
How dare you break wind before me?
777
00:47:00,403 --> 00:47:02,688
I am sorry baby.
I didn't know it was your turn.
778
00:47:07,100 --> 00:47:08,434
Pardon me for being rude.
779
00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:10,005
It was not me. It was my food.
780
00:47:10,030 --> 00:47:11,431
It just popped up to say hello,
781
00:47:11,456 --> 00:47:13,342
and now it's gone back down below.
782
00:47:14,126 --> 00:47:15,726
That's beautiful.
783
00:47:16,097 --> 00:47:17,164
Thank you.
784
00:47:18,698 --> 00:47:19,930
Let's make love,
785
00:47:20,310 --> 00:47:21,827
you silly,
786
00:47:21,976 --> 00:47:24,066
hairy little man.
787
00:47:24,966 --> 00:47:26,903
I say hello vicar.
788
00:47:30,773 --> 00:47:32,273
That's. That's the spot alright.
789
00:47:32,277 --> 00:47:35,597
That's the spot right there.
Look at that now. Good God.
790
00:47:40,867 --> 00:47:43,486
Austin Powers is getting too close.
791
00:47:44,004 --> 00:47:45,221
Any suggestions?
792
00:47:45,690 --> 00:47:47,207
Jawohl Herr doctor.
793
00:47:47,665 --> 00:47:52,026
I have created the ultimate
weapon to defeat Austin Powers.
794
00:47:53,852 --> 00:47:55,781
Bring in the fembots!
795
00:47:56,526 --> 00:47:59,629
These boots are made for walking plays
796
00:48:11,237 --> 00:48:12,371
Go fembots!
797
00:48:15,570 --> 00:48:19,774
These are the latest word in
android replicant technology.
798
00:48:20,084 --> 00:48:21,095
Lethal,
799
00:48:21,312 --> 00:48:22,304
efficient,
800
00:48:22,328 --> 00:48:23,695
brutal.
801
00:48:24,162 --> 00:48:26,552
No man can resist their charm.
802
00:48:26,998 --> 00:48:28,583
Send in the guards!
803
00:48:32,921 --> 00:48:35,356
Kill these women.
804
00:48:59,859 --> 00:49:01,199
Quite impressive.
805
00:49:01,664 --> 00:49:03,702
Thank you, Herr doctor.
806
00:49:04,620 --> 00:49:06,508
I like to see girls of that...
807
00:49:07,206 --> 00:49:08,237
caliber.
808
00:49:12,977 --> 00:49:15,107
By caliber of course I mean...
809
00:49:15,294 --> 00:49:17,136
both the size of their gun barrels
810
00:49:17,182 --> 00:49:19,083
and the high quality of their character.
811
00:49:19,150 --> 00:49:21,081
It's 2 meanings.
Caliber...
812
00:49:21,425 --> 00:49:22,546
it's a homonym.
813
00:49:26,448 --> 00:49:27,352
Forget it.
814
00:49:31,246 --> 00:49:32,446
At ease boys.
815
00:49:35,542 --> 00:49:37,716
Austin, I want to show you something.
816
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,279
We are going to outfit you with this.
817
00:49:40,488 --> 00:49:41,740
It looks like a watch,
818
00:49:41,939 --> 00:49:43,069
but in fact,
819
00:49:43,505 --> 00:49:45,700
it's a geosynchronous positioning device.
820
00:49:45,761 --> 00:49:47,129
Very shagadelic.
821
00:49:47,878 --> 00:49:49,520
And then there is this.
822
00:49:49,545 --> 00:49:50,887
Ok, let me guess.
823
00:49:51,216 --> 00:49:52,778
The floss is garrote wire,
824
00:49:53,017 --> 00:49:56,053
the toothpaste is plastic explosives,
825
00:49:56,121 --> 00:49:58,890
and the toothbrush is the detonation device.
826
00:49:59,575 --> 00:50:00,909
No actually.
827
00:50:01,357 --> 00:50:02,793
Well, since you have been frozen,
828
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,629
there have been fabulous advances
in the field of dentistry.
829
00:50:06,497 --> 00:50:07,731
What do you mean?
830
00:50:08,419 --> 00:50:09,253
Nothing.
831
00:50:10,030 --> 00:50:11,167
Oh look here is Basil.
832
00:50:11,826 --> 00:50:13,460
Hello Exposition.
Austin.
833
00:50:13,831 --> 00:50:15,556
Let me bring you up to speed.
834
00:50:15,891 --> 00:50:20,100
Dr. Evil has hijacked a nuclear
warhead from Kreplachistan.
835
00:50:20,125 --> 00:50:21,972
Only 2 things scare me,
836
00:50:22,199 --> 00:50:24,188
and one is nuclear war.
837
00:50:24,943 --> 00:50:25,762
What's the other?
838
00:50:25,802 --> 00:50:26,521
Excuse me?
839
00:50:26,602 --> 00:50:28,232
What's the other thing that scares you?
840
00:50:29,204 --> 00:50:30,271
Carnies.
841
00:50:30,756 --> 00:50:31,506
What?
842
00:50:31,842 --> 00:50:33,107
Circus folk.
843
00:50:33,337 --> 00:50:34,604
Nomads you know.
844
00:50:34,710 --> 00:50:36,176
Smell like cabbage.
845
00:50:36,602 --> 00:50:37,754
Small hands.
846
00:50:39,619 --> 00:50:40,654
Indeed.
847
00:50:40,834 --> 00:50:43,436
Perhaps these photographs are
the last piece of the puzzle.
848
00:50:44,486 --> 00:50:46,981
I have uncovered the details
of project Vulcan.
849
00:50:47,082 --> 00:50:47,950
Oh, good God.
850
00:50:48,021 --> 00:50:49,297
An underground missile?
851
00:50:49,470 --> 00:50:51,551
Austin, where did you find these?
852
00:50:51,887 --> 00:50:53,770
Austin did some reconnaissance
work last night
853
00:50:53,795 --> 00:50:56,197
at Alotta Fagina's penthouse.
854
00:50:57,432 --> 00:50:58,835
Our next move is to...
855
00:50:59,041 --> 00:51:00,884
infiltrate Virtucon.
856
00:51:00,962 --> 00:51:02,030
Any ideas?
857
00:51:03,205 --> 00:51:04,238
Oh yes.
858
00:51:04,619 --> 00:51:07,413
Virtucon runs a tour of its facility every hour.
859
00:51:07,803 --> 00:51:10,491
I thought perhaps we could
disguise ourselves as tourists
860
00:51:10,516 --> 00:51:12,218
and do some on site reconnaissance.
861
00:51:13,319 --> 00:51:14,986
Top drawer Kensington.
862
00:51:15,264 --> 00:51:17,752
Oh Austin, I would like you to meet somebody.
863
00:51:18,931 --> 00:51:20,059
This is my mother,
864
00:51:20,289 --> 00:51:21,688
Mrs. Exposition.
865
00:51:21,818 --> 00:51:22,957
How do you do?
866
00:51:24,481 --> 00:51:25,648
Austin!
867
00:51:26,878 --> 00:51:28,679
My God man, what have you done?
868
00:51:28,847 --> 00:51:31,615
That's not your mother.
It's a man baby!
869
00:51:31,773 --> 00:51:33,120
Get off! Get off!
870
00:51:33,296 --> 00:51:36,478
Come on!
Why won't this wig come off!
871
00:51:36,572 --> 00:51:37,799
Oh my god!
872
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:39,918
Austin!
Yeah, hold on. Hold on.
873
00:51:39,942 --> 00:51:41,882
One second.
No, no. Let go of my mother!
874
00:51:43,104 --> 00:51:43,954
Oh mother.
875
00:51:44,234 --> 00:51:45,434
Mother are you alright?
876
00:51:46,163 --> 00:51:48,460
Austin have you gone mad?
No.
877
00:51:49,382 --> 00:51:51,711
You have a lot of explaining to do.
878
00:51:51,778 --> 00:51:54,017
I am sorry Basil.
I thought she was a man.
879
00:51:54,501 --> 00:51:56,751
Damn it man, you are talking
about my mother!
880
00:51:56,776 --> 00:51:58,977
Well, you have to admit,
she is rather mannish.
881
00:51:59,076 --> 00:51:59,710
Austin!
882
00:51:59,777 --> 00:52:01,273
Well, no offense but...
883
00:52:01,566 --> 00:52:04,870
if that is a woman, it does look like
she was beaten with an ugly stick.
884
00:52:05,090 --> 00:52:05,824
What?
885
00:52:05,942 --> 00:52:07,230
Really Austin.
886
00:52:13,118 --> 00:52:16,288
Ok, give in to the beauty of your feelings
887
00:52:16,312 --> 00:52:17,805
and say the words.
888
00:52:18,180 --> 00:52:19,029
Come on.
889
00:52:19,874 --> 00:52:21,293
I love you dad.
890
00:52:22,781 --> 00:52:24,782
I love you too son.
891
00:52:30,274 --> 00:52:32,095
Ok group, we have...
892
00:52:32,262 --> 00:52:34,070
some
newcomers here today with us.
893
00:52:34,251 --> 00:52:35,891
Say hello to Scott
894
00:52:35,915 --> 00:52:37,524
and his father Mr...
895
00:52:38,353 --> 00:52:39,053
Avil?
896
00:52:39,233 --> 00:52:40,062
Evil,
897
00:52:40,382 --> 00:52:41,467
actually.
898
00:52:43,953 --> 00:52:45,066
Doctor...
899
00:52:45,404 --> 00:52:46,404
Evil.
900
00:52:47,342 --> 00:52:48,991
Hello Dr. Evil.
901
00:52:49,063 --> 00:52:50,225
Hello Scott.
902
00:52:50,545 --> 00:52:51,579
Hello everybody.
903
00:52:52,246 --> 00:52:54,038
So Scott why don't we start with you?
904
00:52:54,308 --> 00:52:56,377
What brings you here with us today?
905
00:52:57,651 --> 00:53:00,598
Well, I just really met my dad
for the first time 5 days ago.
906
00:53:00,653 --> 00:53:02,903
I was partially frozen his whole life.
907
00:53:03,801 --> 00:53:05,359
That is beautiful,
908
00:53:05,715 --> 00:53:07,357
that you can admit to that.
909
00:53:07,739 --> 00:53:10,815
He comes back and-and now he wants
me to take over the family business.
910
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:14,500
But, Scott, who is going to take over
the world when I die?
911
00:53:14,595 --> 00:53:16,087
Listen to the words he used,
912
00:53:16,112 --> 00:53:18,797
who is going to take over
the world when I die?
913
00:53:19,346 --> 00:53:22,024
It feels like that to some
of us sometimes, doesn't it?
914
00:53:22,878 --> 00:53:23,602
So...
915
00:53:23,903 --> 00:53:26,213
what do you want to do Scott?
916
00:53:26,807 --> 00:53:28,318
I don't know, I was thinking I like...
917
00:53:28,475 --> 00:53:29,336
animals.
918
00:53:30,061 --> 00:53:31,028
Maybe I would be a vet.
919
00:53:31,053 --> 00:53:32,121
An evil vet?
920
00:53:32,587 --> 00:53:33,344
No.
921
00:53:33,848 --> 00:53:35,472
Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
922
00:53:35,497 --> 00:53:36,965
An evil petting zoo?
923
00:53:37,291 --> 00:53:38,726
You always do that!
924
00:53:42,091 --> 00:53:43,764
I just think like he hates me.
925
00:53:43,990 --> 00:53:45,769
I really think he wants to kill me.
926
00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:47,028
Now Scott,
927
00:53:47,256 --> 00:53:49,447
we don't want to kill each other in here.
928
00:53:49,472 --> 00:53:51,372
We might say that we do sometimes,
929
00:53:51,397 --> 00:53:53,183
but we really don't.
930
00:53:54,292 --> 00:53:55,946
Actually the boy is quite astute.
931
00:53:55,971 --> 00:53:57,720
I really am trying to kill him,
932
00:53:57,745 --> 00:53:59,963
but so far, unsuccessfully.
933
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,108
He is quite wily like his old man.
934
00:54:05,009 --> 00:54:06,418
This is what I am talking about.
935
00:54:07,138 --> 00:54:08,237
Ok, well...
936
00:54:08,926 --> 00:54:11,109
we have heard from you Scott now...
937
00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:13,444
you tell us something about yourself.
938
00:54:13,912 --> 00:54:17,031
The details of my life
are quite inconsequential.
939
00:54:17,532 --> 00:54:19,188
Oh no, please, please, let's...
940
00:54:19,213 --> 00:54:20,625
Let's hear about your childhood.
941
00:54:20,650 --> 00:54:22,151
Yeah.
Come on.
942
00:54:25,673 --> 00:54:26,673
Very well.
943
00:54:26,841 --> 00:54:27,908
Where do I begin?
944
00:54:29,188 --> 00:54:31,866
My father was a relentlessly self-improving
945
00:54:31,891 --> 00:54:33,585
boulangerie owner from Belgium
946
00:54:33,610 --> 00:54:36,817
with low-grade narcolepsy
and a penchant for buggery.
947
00:54:37,685 --> 00:54:40,182
My mother was a 15-year-old
French prostitute,
948
00:54:40,206 --> 00:54:41,890
named Chloe with webbed feet.
949
00:54:42,912 --> 00:54:45,714
My father would womanize,
he would drink.
950
00:54:46,217 --> 00:54:47,715
He would make outrageous claims
951
00:54:47,740 --> 00:54:49,693
like he invented the question mark.
952
00:54:50,552 --> 00:54:53,834
Sometimes he would accuse
chestnuts of being lazy,
953
00:54:54,412 --> 00:54:55,530
the sort of...
954
00:54:55,733 --> 00:55:00,169
general malaise that only
the genius possess and the insane lament.
955
00:55:01,216 --> 00:55:02,896
My childhood was typical.
956
00:55:03,630 --> 00:55:05,332
Summers in Rangoon,
957
00:55:05,356 --> 00:55:06,691
luge lessons.
958
00:55:07,311 --> 00:55:09,792
In the spring, we'd make meat helmets.
959
00:55:10,351 --> 00:55:11,495
When I was insolent,
960
00:55:11,519 --> 00:55:14,624
I was placed in a burlap bag
and beaten with reeds.
961
00:55:14,649 --> 00:55:16,554
Pretty standard, really.
962
00:55:17,325 --> 00:55:19,744
At the age of 12, I received my first scribe.
963
00:55:20,272 --> 00:55:22,858
At the age of 14,
a Zoroastrian named Vilma,
964
00:55:23,186 --> 00:55:25,960
ritualistically shaved my testicles.
965
00:55:26,568 --> 00:55:29,560
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum.
966
00:55:29,585 --> 00:55:32,122
It's breathtaking.
I suggest you try it.
967
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,871
You know, we have to stop.
968
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:37,944
Austin, can I have a word with you?
969
00:55:37,969 --> 00:55:39,003
Of course you may love.
970
00:55:42,114 --> 00:55:43,816
Look, I know I am being neurotic but...
971
00:55:44,601 --> 00:55:48,235
I can't shake off this suspicious
feeling about that Italian secretary.
972
00:55:48,323 --> 00:55:49,690
You know miss Fagina.
973
00:55:50,053 --> 00:55:51,954
I-I don't want to sound paranoid but...
974
00:55:52,495 --> 00:55:54,766
I have had some bad
relationships in the past and...
975
00:55:55,189 --> 00:55:57,250
I have been known to be jealous.
976
00:55:57,587 --> 00:55:58,487
I am sorry.
977
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:00,834
No. Don't be sorry baby.
978
00:56:01,044 --> 00:56:02,761
You are right to be suspicious.
979
00:56:02,929 --> 00:56:04,217
I shagged her.
980
00:56:04,709 --> 00:56:05,522
What?
981
00:56:05,675 --> 00:56:07,881
I shagged her rotten baby, yeah!
982
00:56:08,961 --> 00:56:10,469
I don't believe you Austin.
983
00:56:10,536 --> 00:56:11,992
I think she was repellent.
984
00:56:12,184 --> 00:56:13,952
Saucer of milk, table 2.
985
00:56:14,949 --> 00:56:16,262
But did you use protection?
986
00:56:16,329 --> 00:56:17,279
Of course.
987
00:56:17,303 --> 00:56:19,341
I had my 9mm automatic.
988
00:56:19,854 --> 00:56:22,422
You know I meant did you
use a condom?
989
00:56:23,890 --> 00:56:26,276
Only sailors use condoms baby.
990
00:56:26,444 --> 00:56:28,051
Not in the nineties Austin.
991
00:56:28,076 --> 00:56:30,892
Well, they should those filthy beggars.
They go from port to port.
992
00:56:31,974 --> 00:56:33,843
Vanessa, don't have a thrombo.
993
00:56:34,163 --> 00:56:36,142
Alotta meant nothing to me.
994
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:37,853
Well, it means something to me.
995
00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:40,490
Austin, if you want us to have a relationship,
996
00:56:40,515 --> 00:56:43,428
you have to get it into your
head that times have changed.
997
00:56:43,661 --> 00:56:45,913
You can't just go off
shagging anybody anymore.
998
00:56:45,938 --> 00:56:48,772
And if you could, I would not
because I am not like that.
999
00:56:49,831 --> 00:56:50,850
Vanessa.
1000
00:56:53,389 --> 00:56:54,849
You are everything to me.
1001
00:56:55,679 --> 00:56:57,114
You just don't get it, do you?
1002
00:56:59,596 --> 00:57:00,647
Good night Austin.
1003
00:57:01,377 --> 00:57:02,711
Welcome to the nineties.
1004
00:57:03,585 --> 00:57:04,850
You are going to be very lonely.
1005
00:57:27,691 --> 00:57:29,428
Hey. Check this guy out.
1006
00:57:31,709 --> 00:57:33,021
Peace. Peace.
1007
00:57:39,161 --> 00:57:40,311
Jimi Hendrix.
1008
00:57:40,843 --> 00:57:41,808
Deceased.
1009
00:57:42,505 --> 00:57:43,505
Drugs.
1010
00:57:44,322 --> 00:57:45,422
Janis Joplin.
1011
00:57:46,690 --> 00:57:47,649
Deceased.
1012
00:57:47,758 --> 00:57:48,625
Alcohol.
1013
00:57:48,809 --> 00:57:49,828
Mama Cass.
1014
00:57:50,461 --> 00:57:51,235
Deceased.
1015
00:57:51,657 --> 00:57:53,758
Ham sandwich.
1016
00:58:20,390 --> 00:58:21,463
Oh gee, that's great.
1017
00:58:21,521 --> 00:58:22,856
Is the lighting halfway decent?
1018
00:58:23,344 --> 00:58:25,306
Yes, indeed.
They got the flag up now.
1019
00:58:25,331 --> 00:58:26,996
You can see the stars and stripes.
1020
00:58:27,065 --> 00:58:28,731
Beautiful.
Just beautiful.
1021
00:58:33,863 --> 00:58:35,031
Good morning Austin.
1022
00:58:37,182 --> 00:58:40,025
You know, I sometimes forget
you have missed out on the last 30 years.
1023
00:58:41,615 --> 00:58:43,116
Fall of the Berlin wall,
1024
00:58:43,381 --> 00:58:45,490
the first female British prime minister,
1025
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:47,256
end of apartheid.
1026
00:58:47,647 --> 00:58:50,108
Yeah and I can't believe
Liberace he was gay.
1027
00:58:50,970 --> 00:58:52,290
I mean, women loved him.
1028
00:58:52,315 --> 00:58:54,184
I didn't see that one coming, no.
1029
00:58:55,829 --> 00:58:57,665
The tour is about to begin,
1030
00:58:57,693 --> 00:58:59,087
so if you will please take your seats.
1031
00:58:59,947 --> 00:59:01,276
Welcome to Virtucon,
1032
00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:02,649
company of the future.
1033
00:59:02,817 --> 00:59:04,975
Virtucon is a leading manufacturer
1034
00:59:04,976 --> 00:59:07,354
of many items you can find right
in your very own home.
1035
00:59:07,521 --> 00:59:09,172
Do you think she's prettier than me?
1036
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:10,233
Who?
1037
00:59:10,408 --> 00:59:11,554
You know who.
1038
00:59:12,054 --> 00:59:13,958
Oh, the Italian bird.
1039
00:59:13,983 --> 00:59:15,945
No baby. She is rancid.
1040
00:59:16,713 --> 00:59:18,539
I think you are shagadelic baby.
1041
00:59:18,564 --> 00:59:20,817
You are switched on.
You are smashing.
1042
00:59:20,984 --> 00:59:23,160
We make steel, petroleum products,
1043
00:59:23,261 --> 00:59:25,264
and volatile chemicals.
1044
00:59:25,399 --> 00:59:28,535
But don't worry about the Italian bird, ok?
1045
00:59:28,820 --> 00:59:30,554
She is the village bicycle.
1046
00:59:30,617 --> 00:59:32,311
Everyone is had a ride.
1047
00:59:33,905 --> 00:59:35,268
On your right,
1048
00:59:35,292 --> 00:59:38,411
you will notice a door
leading to a restricted area.
1049
00:59:38,436 --> 00:59:40,403
Only authorized personnel are allowed...
1050
00:59:40,471 --> 00:59:41,571
I will take him.
1051
00:59:42,139 --> 00:59:43,340
You take her.
1052
00:59:43,700 --> 00:59:44,300
Ok.
1053
00:59:55,236 --> 00:59:56,022
Alright.
1054
00:59:59,006 --> 00:59:59,639
Let's go.
1055
01:00:00,407 --> 01:00:01,350
It's Bolton.
1056
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:02,976
We have got a problem.
1057
01:00:03,810 --> 01:00:06,491
Intruders in the complex.
Intruders in the complex.
1058
01:00:06,847 --> 01:00:07,577
Watch out.
1059
01:00:09,384 --> 01:00:10,649
Halt. This way.
1060
01:00:11,918 --> 01:00:12,986
Judo chop!
1061
01:00:16,657 --> 01:00:17,691
They are coming!
1062
01:00:17,758 --> 01:00:19,493
Hang on.
I am going to floor it.
1063
01:00:19,518 --> 01:00:21,367
Watch out.
Move!
1064
01:00:21,605 --> 01:00:22,806
Move! Move!
1065
01:00:24,921 --> 01:00:26,155
Careful Austin.
1066
01:00:26,717 --> 01:00:28,317
No!
1067
01:00:31,115 --> 01:00:31,962
Watch out!
1068
01:00:32,072 --> 01:00:33,006
Watch out!
1069
01:00:35,543 --> 01:00:36,426
Watch out!
1070
01:00:42,902 --> 01:00:44,411
Let's go.
Come on, let's go.
1071
01:00:48,013 --> 01:00:49,520
Thank goodness we made it Austin.
1072
01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:51,691
Alright.
Stay very cool baby.
1073
01:00:51,759 --> 01:00:52,493
Ok.
1074
01:01:17,051 --> 01:01:18,668
Mr. Powers.
1075
01:01:19,429 --> 01:01:22,129
Welcome to my underground lair.
1076
01:01:22,423 --> 01:01:23,923
You are just in time.
1077
01:01:23,991 --> 01:01:25,692
Enjoy the show.
1078
01:01:32,257 --> 01:01:34,983
Gentlemen, I give you the Vulcan.
1079
01:01:36,170 --> 01:01:39,773
The world's most powerful
subterranean drill.
1080
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,658
Does that make you horny?
1081
01:01:42,289 --> 01:01:43,469
Not now Austin.
1082
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:46,477
So powerful it can penetrate
the earth's crust,
1083
01:01:46,591 --> 01:01:49,074
delivering a 50-kiloton nuclear warhead
1084
01:01:49,099 --> 01:01:51,500
deep into the liquid hot core
of the planet.
1085
01:01:51,553 --> 01:01:54,073
Upon detonation every volcano,
1086
01:01:54,097 --> 01:01:55,199
on earth...
1087
01:01:55,426 --> 01:01:56,892
will erupt.
1088
01:01:59,773 --> 01:02:01,617
It seems we have no choice,
1089
01:02:01,729 --> 01:02:03,197
but to pay your ransom.
1090
01:02:03,564 --> 01:02:06,130
You have my instructions.
Bye-bye.
1091
01:02:08,919 --> 01:02:09,919
Check it out, butt-head.
1092
01:02:10,088 --> 01:02:11,590
This chick has 3 boobs.
1093
01:02:13,721 --> 01:02:15,503
How many butts does she have?
1094
01:02:22,683 --> 01:02:26,019
Do you like your quasi-futuristic
clothes, Mr. Powers?
1095
01:02:26,475 --> 01:02:28,266
I designed them myself.
1096
01:02:43,804 --> 01:02:44,772
Scott!
1097
01:02:44,977 --> 01:02:46,706
Scott my boy, how are you?
1098
01:02:47,186 --> 01:02:48,368
How was your day?
1099
01:02:48,538 --> 01:02:49,646
Well, my friend sweet Jay
1100
01:02:49,671 --> 01:02:51,489
took me to that video arcade in town, right?
1101
01:02:51,514 --> 01:02:52,825
And they don't speak English there,
1102
01:02:52,850 --> 01:02:54,529
so Jay got into a fight and he is all,
1103
01:02:54,616 --> 01:02:57,183
hey, quit hassling me because
I don't speak French or whatever.
1104
01:02:57,259 --> 01:02:59,764
And then the guy says something
in Paris talk and I am like...
1105
01:02:59,788 --> 01:03:01,922
just back off and they are all,
get out.
1106
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:03,289
And we are like, make me.
1107
01:03:03,995 --> 01:03:05,263
It was cool.
1108
01:03:06,425 --> 01:03:07,644
Fascinating.
1109
01:03:07,842 --> 01:03:09,476
What are your plans for this evening?
1110
01:03:09,713 --> 01:03:10,940
I thought I would stay in.
1111
01:03:10,965 --> 01:03:12,966
There is a good tittie movie on skinimax.
1112
01:03:13,151 --> 01:03:15,869
And that's how you would like
to live your life, is it?
1113
01:03:16,591 --> 01:03:17,255
Yeah.
1114
01:03:18,940 --> 01:03:20,318
Pretty much, right.
What?
1115
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:28,618
Scott,
1116
01:03:29,213 --> 01:03:31,620
I want you to meet daddy's Nemesis,
1117
01:03:31,685 --> 01:03:33,420
Austin Powers.
1118
01:03:35,088 --> 01:03:36,088
Are you feeding him?
1119
01:03:36,535 --> 01:03:37,645
Why don't you just kill him?
1120
01:03:38,158 --> 01:03:40,316
No Scott.
I have an even better idea.
1121
01:03:41,020 --> 01:03:44,097
I am going to place him in
an easily escapable situation
1122
01:03:44,098 --> 01:03:46,733
involving an overly elaborate
and exotic death.
1123
01:03:48,477 --> 01:03:49,828
Why don't you just shoot him now?
1124
01:03:50,221 --> 01:03:52,144
I mean, I will go get a gun.
We will shoot him together.
1125
01:03:52,169 --> 01:03:53,644
It will be fun.
Bang!
1126
01:03:53,791 --> 01:03:54,957
Dead. Done.
1127
01:03:55,029 --> 01:03:57,264
One more peep out of you
and you are grounded mister,
1128
01:03:57,289 --> 01:03:58,757
and I am not joking.
1129
01:04:02,016 --> 01:04:03,350
Alright.
Let's begin.
1130
01:04:04,170 --> 01:04:05,163
Dr. Evil,
1131
01:04:05,483 --> 01:04:07,843
do you really expect them to pay?
1132
01:04:08,305 --> 01:04:09,953
No Mr. Powers.
1133
01:04:11,041 --> 01:04:13,677
I expect them to die.
1134
01:04:15,059 --> 01:04:16,779
Even after they pay me the money,
1135
01:04:16,780 --> 01:04:20,618
I am still going to melt every city
on the planet with liquid hot magma.
1136
01:04:23,585 --> 01:04:24,786
Release the sharks!
1137
01:04:25,189 --> 01:04:26,392
Mr. Powers,
1138
01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:28,018
you will notice that all the sharks
1139
01:04:28,043 --> 01:04:30,160
have laser beams attached to their heads.
1140
01:04:30,185 --> 01:04:33,069
I figure every creature
deserves a warm meal.
1141
01:04:35,782 --> 01:04:36,814
Dr. Evil,
1142
01:04:37,453 --> 01:04:38,735
it's about the sharks.
1143
01:04:39,502 --> 01:04:40,970
When you were frozen,
1144
01:04:41,074 --> 01:04:43,720
they were put on
the endangered species list.
1145
01:04:43,790 --> 01:04:45,102
We tried to get some,
1146
01:04:45,127 --> 01:04:47,497
but it would have taken months
to clear up the red tape.
1147
01:04:48,846 --> 01:04:51,948
You know, I have one simple request,
1148
01:04:52,344 --> 01:04:54,353
and that is to have sharks with...
1149
01:04:54,485 --> 01:04:57,387
fricking laser beams
attached to their heads.
1150
01:04:57,554 --> 01:05:02,205
Now, evidently my cycloptic colleague
informs me that that can't be done.
1151
01:05:02,863 --> 01:05:05,831
Can you remind me what
I pay you people for?
1152
01:05:05,856 --> 01:05:08,003
Honestly, throw me a bone here.
1153
01:05:08,557 --> 01:05:09,907
What do we have?
1154
01:05:10,585 --> 01:05:11,737
Sea bass.
1155
01:05:15,512 --> 01:05:17,126
Right.
1156
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:20,377
They are mutated Sea bass.
1157
01:05:20,744 --> 01:05:21,572
Really?
1158
01:05:22,398 --> 01:05:23,804
Are they ill-tempered?
1159
01:05:24,081 --> 01:05:24,881
Absolutely.
1160
01:05:25,048 --> 01:05:26,850
That's a start, you know.
Just a start.
1161
01:05:27,318 --> 01:05:31,288
Alright guard, begin the unnecessarily
slow-moving dipping mechanism.
1162
01:05:34,007 --> 01:05:35,193
Close the tank!
1163
01:05:37,161 --> 01:05:38,995
Aren't you even going to watch them?
1164
01:05:39,344 --> 01:05:40,444
They could get away.
1165
01:05:40,597 --> 01:05:42,793
No, no, no.
I am going to leave them alone,
1166
01:05:42,818 --> 01:05:44,752
and not actually witness them dying.
1167
01:05:44,777 --> 01:05:47,003
I am just going to assume
it all went to plan, what?
1168
01:05:48,571 --> 01:05:50,340
I have a gun in my room.
1169
01:05:50,341 --> 01:05:51,941
You give me 5 seconds, I will get it.
1170
01:05:52,018 --> 01:05:53,395
I will come back down here.
1171
01:05:53,593 --> 01:05:55,232
Boom!
I will blow their brains out.
1172
01:05:55,727 --> 01:05:56,527
Scott.
1173
01:05:57,725 --> 01:05:58,609
You just...
1174
01:05:58,941 --> 01:06:00,261
don't get it, do you?
1175
01:06:00,518 --> 01:06:01,433
You don't.
1176
01:06:03,347 --> 01:06:04,464
It's no hassle.
1177
01:06:05,230 --> 01:06:05,806
But...
1178
01:06:05,907 --> 01:06:06,480
All...
1179
01:06:07,707 --> 01:06:08,592
All I am say in...
1180
01:06:09,060 --> 01:06:09,876
They are gonna get...
1181
01:06:10,644 --> 01:06:11,177
I...
1182
01:06:11,349 --> 01:06:11,845
I am...
1183
01:06:12,209 --> 01:06:12,725
w...
1184
01:06:12,913 --> 01:06:13,396
would...
1185
01:06:13,714 --> 01:06:14,529
Knock knock.
1186
01:06:14,614 --> 01:06:15,263
Who is there?
1187
01:06:16,884 --> 01:06:17,617
Look...
1188
01:06:17,885 --> 01:06:19,487
Let me tell you a little story
about a man named...
1189
01:06:21,155 --> 01:06:22,393
Even before you start,
1190
01:06:23,108 --> 01:06:24,510
that was a preemptive sssh.
1191
01:06:25,096 --> 01:06:26,882
Just know that I have a whole bag of...
1192
01:06:27,276 --> 01:06:28,588
With your name on it.
1193
01:06:34,601 --> 01:06:35,634
What's your plan?
1194
01:06:36,003 --> 01:06:38,485
First, I plan to soil myself.
1195
01:06:38,906 --> 01:06:41,506
Then I am going to regroup
and come up with a new plan.
1196
01:06:41,531 --> 01:06:42,633
Any thoughts?
1197
01:06:43,575 --> 01:06:44,575
Wait a minute.
1198
01:06:46,163 --> 01:06:48,231
I always have this with me, just in case.
1199
01:06:48,256 --> 01:06:49,787
Ok. I get it.
1200
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,008
I have bad teeth.
1201
01:06:52,438 --> 01:06:53,487
No Austin.
1202
01:06:53,535 --> 01:06:56,003
The floss is to swing ourselves
onto the ledge.
1203
01:06:57,812 --> 01:06:59,195
Alright.
Hold on.
1204
01:07:01,828 --> 01:07:03,557
Got it. Ok.
1205
01:07:03,679 --> 01:07:04,618
Toothpaste.
1206
01:07:04,765 --> 01:07:05,632
Hello.
1207
01:07:09,453 --> 01:07:10,420
Judo chop!
1208
01:07:12,590 --> 01:07:13,624
Hang on!
1209
01:07:23,517 --> 01:07:24,483
Judo trip.
1210
01:07:27,271 --> 01:07:28,326
No!
1211
01:07:40,933 --> 01:07:43,236
Not a good time to lose one is head.
1212
01:07:43,669 --> 01:07:44,627
Indeed.
1213
01:07:45,814 --> 01:07:47,767
That's not the way to get ahead in life.
1214
01:07:47,887 --> 01:07:48,687
No.
1215
01:07:50,477 --> 01:07:52,746
It's a shame he was not more headstrong.
1216
01:07:54,932 --> 01:07:57,383
He will never be the head
of a major corporation.
1217
01:07:57,451 --> 01:07:58,719
Ok, that will do.
Ok.
1218
01:08:05,569 --> 01:08:07,293
Oh, no! What are we gonna do?
1219
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,390
Oh, look. There is an emergency exit.
1220
01:08:09,415 --> 01:08:12,466
Go get help. I am gonna stay here
and keep an eye on Dr. Evil.
1221
01:08:13,133 --> 01:08:14,850
Ok.
I will hurry back.
1222
01:08:16,887 --> 01:08:18,189
Listen Vanessa.
1223
01:08:20,773 --> 01:08:21,942
Whatever happens,
1224
01:08:22,970 --> 01:08:27,079
I want you to know that I feel
really bad about that Italian bird.
1225
01:08:29,236 --> 01:08:30,642
What I am trying to say is...
1226
01:08:31,866 --> 01:08:34,534
That if you want me
to be a one-woman man,
1227
01:08:35,254 --> 01:08:37,163
well, that's just groovy baby.
1228
01:08:38,519 --> 01:08:39,741
Behave.
1229
01:09:16,764 --> 01:09:17,797
Come everyone.
1230
01:09:18,565 --> 01:09:20,834
Let us repair to the main chamber.
1231
01:09:22,202 --> 01:09:24,470
Project Vulcan is about to begin.
1232
01:09:28,104 --> 01:09:28,964
Scott,
1233
01:09:29,198 --> 01:09:31,445
don't you want to see what
daddy does for a living?
1234
01:09:31,712 --> 01:09:32,545
Blow me.
1235
01:09:32,546 --> 01:09:33,313
Excuse me?
1236
01:09:34,468 --> 01:09:35,464
Show me.
1237
01:09:37,213 --> 01:09:38,049
Ok.
1238
01:09:49,012 --> 01:09:51,314
Position the Vulcan.
1239
01:10:05,346 --> 01:10:07,847
Bring in the warhead.
1240
01:10:37,158 --> 01:10:38,691
Hello, hello.
1241
01:10:38,745 --> 01:10:39,851
Hello, Mr. Powers.
1242
01:10:39,876 --> 01:10:41,994
Hello, Mr. Powers.
Hello, Mr. Powers.
1243
01:10:42,215 --> 01:10:43,664
Care to have a little fun?
1244
01:10:43,689 --> 01:10:45,101
Care to have a little fun?
1245
01:10:45,369 --> 01:10:46,727
No actually I...
1246
01:10:47,273 --> 01:10:48,907
I have to save the world.
1247
01:10:59,751 --> 01:11:01,091
Is it cold in here?
1248
01:11:18,252 --> 01:11:19,502
Arm the probe.
1249
01:11:36,570 --> 01:11:37,239
No!
1250
01:11:37,434 --> 01:11:38,156
No.
1251
01:11:38,286 --> 01:11:39,986
No, I have got to get Dr. Evil.
1252
01:11:40,040 --> 01:11:41,875
I have got to get Dr. Evil.
1253
01:11:42,032 --> 01:11:43,454
No, no, no. I w...
1254
01:11:43,478 --> 01:11:44,443
Baseball
1255
01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:45,678
Cold showers.
1256
01:11:46,017 --> 01:11:48,892
Baseball. Cold showers.
Give it up Mr. Powers.
1257
01:11:48,917 --> 01:11:51,352
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
1258
01:11:51,552 --> 01:11:54,019
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
1259
01:11:54,576 --> 01:11:55,849
Right up positions.
Gentlemen.
1260
01:12:00,561 --> 01:12:02,193
Let's lock and load.
1261
01:12:02,228 --> 01:12:03,108
Right, lads.
1262
01:12:03,133 --> 01:12:05,218
Hurry up! hup! hup!
Move, move, move!
1263
01:12:05,299 --> 01:12:06,164
Don't go.
1264
01:12:06,189 --> 01:12:07,509
Stay with us.
Don't go.
1265
01:12:07,595 --> 01:12:09,032
Don't go. Please don't go.
1266
01:12:09,985 --> 01:12:11,618
You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.
1267
01:12:11,688 --> 01:12:13,712
You can't resist us, Mr. Powers.
1268
01:12:14,577 --> 01:12:16,301
Au contraire baby.
1269
01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:18,594
I think you can't resist me.
1270
01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:45,179
Austin?
1271
01:13:45,769 --> 01:13:46,702
Vanessa!
1272
01:13:47,700 --> 01:13:49,535
It's not what it seems.
1273
01:13:51,666 --> 01:13:52,746
At ease, boys.
1274
01:13:52,771 --> 01:13:53,771
Likewise.
1275
01:13:55,508 --> 01:13:56,837
Vanessa, I can explain.
1276
01:13:56,861 --> 01:13:57,942
She. What happened was...
1277
01:13:58,089 --> 01:14:00,263
I broke in trying to get to Dr. Evil.
1278
01:14:00,430 --> 01:14:02,478
Then all of a sudden, the fembots came by,
1279
01:14:02,503 --> 01:14:04,370
and smoke started to come
out of their jumblies.
1280
01:14:04,568 --> 01:14:06,469
So I thought I would work my mojo right?
1281
01:14:06,494 --> 01:14:07,795
To counter their mojo.
1282
01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:10,703
We got cross-mojonations,
and their heads started exploding.
1283
01:14:10,728 --> 01:14:11,697
But you know that thing,
1284
01:14:11,722 --> 01:14:13,978
and I ended up in my knickers
here and then...
1285
01:14:16,656 --> 01:14:18,088
Ok Austin, I believe you.
1286
01:14:18,603 --> 01:14:19,691
Now get dressed.
1287
01:14:20,028 --> 01:14:21,301
Smashing baby.
1288
01:14:22,335 --> 01:14:23,535
Onward boys.
1289
01:14:28,074 --> 01:14:31,084
Launching the subterranean probe.
1290
01:14:35,202 --> 01:14:38,327
Begin initial surface penetration.
1291
01:14:41,522 --> 01:14:46,538
Subterranean nuclear detonation
in 3 minutes and counting.
1292
01:14:56,469 --> 01:14:57,465
Watch out!
1293
01:15:03,444 --> 01:15:04,376
Right front!
1294
01:15:05,552 --> 01:15:09,603
Subterranean nuclear detonation
in 3 minutes and counting.
1295
01:15:19,776 --> 01:15:20,942
Oh, I tripped!
1296
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:24,859
Open the fricking door!
1297
01:15:28,901 --> 01:15:31,353
Probe destruction beginning in...
1298
01:15:31,354 --> 01:15:31,954
Judo.
1299
01:15:32,274 --> 01:15:32,874
Judo.
1300
01:15:33,256 --> 01:15:33,978
10.
1301
01:15:34,585 --> 01:15:35,385
9.
1302
01:15:35,934 --> 01:15:36,734
8.
1303
01:15:37,318 --> 01:15:38,118
7.
1304
01:15:38,594 --> 01:15:39,394
6.
1305
01:15:40,152 --> 01:15:40,952
5.
1306
01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:42,360
4.
1307
01:15:42,868 --> 01:15:43,668
3.
1308
01:15:44,301 --> 01:15:45,101
2.
1309
01:15:45,904 --> 01:15:46,704
1.
1310
01:15:47,304 --> 01:15:50,390
No!
1311
01:15:54,038 --> 01:15:54,997
Abort.
1312
01:15:55,544 --> 01:15:56,373
Abort.
1313
01:15:56,959 --> 01:15:57,820
Abort.
1314
01:15:58,476 --> 01:15:59,250
Abort.
1315
01:16:02,503 --> 01:16:03,903
Now to Dr. Evil.
1316
01:16:05,357 --> 01:16:06,559
Din-din.
1317
01:16:07,848 --> 01:16:09,208
♪ I want chicken. ♪
1318
01:16:09,209 --> 01:16:10,614
♪ I want liver. ♪
1319
01:16:10,639 --> 01:16:13,443
♪ Miam mix miam mix please deliver. ♪
1320
01:16:14,147 --> 01:16:16,349
I have got you now Dr. Evil.
1321
01:16:17,684 --> 01:16:19,485
Well done Mr. Powers.
1322
01:16:20,844 --> 01:16:23,284
We are not so different, you and I.
1323
01:16:24,894 --> 01:16:25,894
However,
1324
01:16:26,084 --> 01:16:29,729
isn't it ironic that the very things
that you stand for,
1325
01:16:30,784 --> 01:16:31,866
free love,
1326
01:16:32,136 --> 01:16:33,160
swinging,
1327
01:16:33,184 --> 01:16:34,099
parties,
1328
01:16:34,124 --> 01:16:36,839
are all now in the nineties,
1329
01:16:36,864 --> 01:16:38,307
considered to be...
1330
01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:41,333
Evil?
1331
01:16:42,142 --> 01:16:44,192
No man, what we swingers
1332
01:16:44,217 --> 01:16:47,137
were rebelling against
is uptight squares like you,
1333
01:16:47,313 --> 01:16:48,509
whose bag was...
1334
01:16:48,533 --> 01:16:50,395
money and world domination.
1335
01:16:50,420 --> 01:16:51,921
We were innocent man.
1336
01:16:52,118 --> 01:16:53,889
If we had known the consequences
1337
01:16:53,913 --> 01:16:55,770
of our sexual liberation,
1338
01:16:55,863 --> 01:16:57,544
we would have done things differently but,
1339
01:16:57,569 --> 01:16:59,583
the spirit would have remained the same.
1340
01:16:59,826 --> 01:17:02,229
It's freedom baby.
Yeah.
1341
01:17:02,837 --> 01:17:03,904
Face it.
1342
01:17:04,565 --> 01:17:05,765
Freedom failed.
1343
01:17:06,314 --> 01:17:08,514
No man, freedom didn't fail.
1344
01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:10,530
Right now we have got freedom,
1345
01:17:10,846 --> 01:17:12,371
and responsibility.
1346
01:17:12,372 --> 01:17:14,182
It's a very groovy time.
1347
01:17:14,830 --> 01:17:18,044
There is nothing more pathetic
than an aging hipster.
1348
01:17:18,479 --> 01:17:19,706
Alright baldy.
1349
01:17:19,730 --> 01:17:20,846
Shut your cakehole.
1350
01:17:21,123 --> 01:17:22,491
Come on. Let's go.
On your bike.
1351
01:17:24,049 --> 01:17:25,562
Not so fast.
1352
01:17:25,906 --> 01:17:27,840
It seems the tables have turned,
1353
01:17:27,864 --> 01:17:29,289
Mr. Powers.
1354
01:17:29,412 --> 01:17:30,634
Go ahead Austin.
1355
01:17:30,658 --> 01:17:31,880
Don't worry about me.
1356
01:17:31,925 --> 01:17:33,731
Hey, I can take my Sega, right dad?
1357
01:17:35,428 --> 01:17:38,564
It seems the tables have
turned again, Dr. Devil.
1358
01:17:38,631 --> 01:17:40,527
Not really.
Kill the little bastard.
1359
01:17:40,552 --> 01:17:41,585
See what I care.
1360
01:17:41,868 --> 01:17:43,970
But dad, we just had
a breakthrough in group.
1361
01:17:44,137 --> 01:17:46,617
I had the group liquidated, you little shit.
1362
01:17:46,642 --> 01:17:47,809
They were insolent.
1363
01:17:48,700 --> 01:17:50,442
I hate you!
I hate you!
1364
01:17:50,467 --> 01:17:52,802
I wish I was never artificially
created in a lab.
1365
01:17:52,879 --> 01:17:55,779
Scott, that hurts daddy
when you say that, honestly.
1366
01:17:58,416 --> 01:17:59,490
Number Two.
1367
01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:01,202
Your timing is impeccable.
1368
01:18:01,227 --> 01:18:02,842
Go ahead.
Take Mr. Powers away.
1369
01:18:04,246 --> 01:18:05,046
No.
1370
01:18:06,141 --> 01:18:06,741
What?
1371
01:18:06,827 --> 01:18:07,828
Dr. Evil,
1372
01:18:08,929 --> 01:18:10,862
I have spent 30 years of my life
1373
01:18:11,274 --> 01:18:13,254
turning this two-bit evil empire,
1374
01:18:13,279 --> 01:18:15,391
into a world-class multinational.
1375
01:18:16,102 --> 01:18:18,629
I was going to have
a cover story in Forbes.
1376
01:18:19,284 --> 01:18:20,017
But you,
1377
01:18:20,041 --> 01:18:22,137
like an idiot,
wanted to take over the world.
1378
01:18:22,292 --> 01:18:24,860
And you don't realize
there is no world anymore.
1379
01:18:25,462 --> 01:18:26,862
It's only corporations.
1380
01:18:27,039 --> 01:18:28,539
Silence, Number Two!
1381
01:18:28,564 --> 01:18:29,348
No!
1382
01:18:29,516 --> 01:18:32,051
I have had enough of you pushing me around.
1383
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:36,897
Mr. Powers...
1384
01:18:37,151 --> 01:18:39,990
I have a business proposition
you might find very interesting.
1385
01:18:42,029 --> 01:18:43,730
Alright. I have had enough.
1386
01:18:48,768 --> 01:18:49,869
Judo chop!
1387
01:18:53,473 --> 01:18:55,391
The complex will self-destruct.
1388
01:19:01,381 --> 01:19:02,636
Let's split!
Let's go!
1389
01:19:05,052 --> 01:19:06,653
This place is gonna blow!
1390
01:19:13,226 --> 01:19:15,545
The complex will self-destruct.
1391
01:19:18,062 --> 01:19:19,218
Come on.
Let's go.
1392
01:19:22,535 --> 01:19:25,137
The complex will self-destruct.
1393
01:19:25,939 --> 01:19:26,905
This way, Austin.
1394
01:19:26,930 --> 01:19:28,667
Come on baby!
It's gonna blow!
1395
01:19:28,692 --> 01:19:30,485
Let's go.
Move it!
1396
01:19:30,510 --> 01:19:31,965
Alley-oop!
1397
01:20:09,009 --> 01:20:10,945
I love you, Mr. Powers.
1398
01:20:11,252 --> 01:20:12,504
And I love you,
1399
01:20:12,762 --> 01:20:14,627
Mrs. Powers.
1400
01:20:17,473 --> 01:20:19,047
Oh, that will be Basil Exposition.
1401
01:20:20,304 --> 01:20:22,203
Oh, ignore it Austin.
Come back to bed.
1402
01:20:22,295 --> 01:20:23,851
Duty calls baby.
1403
01:20:27,751 --> 01:20:28,641
Hello Austin.
1404
01:20:29,211 --> 01:20:30,195
Oh, I...
1405
01:20:30,621 --> 01:20:32,562
I hope I am not interrupting
your honeymoon.
1406
01:20:33,019 --> 01:20:34,977
No, not at all, Basil.
1407
01:20:35,242 --> 01:20:37,243
Did you get that
fruit basket I sent you?
1408
01:20:37,611 --> 01:20:40,112
Yes, we did Basil,
but you sent too much.
1409
01:20:40,137 --> 01:20:41,472
I am gonna have to send
some to my mother.
1410
01:20:43,326 --> 01:20:44,376
Don't forget these.
1411
01:20:44,658 --> 01:20:45,591
Oh, thanks.
1412
01:20:45,919 --> 01:20:46,790
There you go.
1413
01:20:47,053 --> 01:20:48,637
Did you get my other gift?
1414
01:20:49,005 --> 01:20:49,989
We did.
1415
01:20:50,396 --> 01:20:52,478
Yes, Basil, nice rack.
1416
01:20:53,528 --> 01:20:55,996
But who in the world
gave us this drawing?
1417
01:20:56,763 --> 01:20:57,797
It's bizarre.
1418
01:20:58,311 --> 01:21:01,968
Well, as you know, Dr. Evil
has escaped in his rocket,
1419
01:21:02,225 --> 01:21:04,570
which has disappeared
from our tracking system.
1420
01:21:04,749 --> 01:21:05,818
Oh, dear, hold on.
1421
01:21:05,843 --> 01:21:07,149
Coffee?
Oh, yes, please.
1422
01:21:07,174 --> 01:21:08,174
Ok. Thank you.
1423
01:21:09,108 --> 01:21:10,510
Oh and Vanessa by the way,
1424
01:21:10,965 --> 01:21:13,479
you have been made a full agent.
1425
01:21:13,547 --> 01:21:15,855
Oh, that's fantastic Basil!
Thanks.
1426
01:21:16,032 --> 01:21:16,799
Milk?
1427
01:21:17,152 --> 01:21:18,300
Yes, please.
1428
01:21:18,367 --> 01:21:19,321
And Austin,
1429
01:21:19,345 --> 01:21:21,531
her majesty the queen
informs me that you...
1430
01:21:21,697 --> 01:21:23,147
are to be knighted.
1431
01:21:23,585 --> 01:21:25,173
Very shagadelic!
1432
01:21:25,327 --> 01:21:27,412
Well, the best of luck to both of you!
1433
01:21:28,048 --> 01:21:28,971
Thanks Basil.
1434
01:21:29,145 --> 01:21:30,145
Good-bye.
1435
01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:32,062
You know Vanessa,
1436
01:21:32,551 --> 01:21:35,026
I will never forget the first time I saw you.
1437
01:21:35,762 --> 01:21:37,946
You were so incredibly beautiful.
1438
01:21:39,582 --> 01:21:41,433
So incredibly sexy.
1439
01:21:42,642 --> 01:21:44,276
I knew I had to have you.
1440
01:21:45,579 --> 01:21:47,312
Right then and there.
1441
01:21:49,553 --> 01:21:51,884
Did you feel the same way?
1442
01:21:52,191 --> 01:21:54,243
Actually, I could not stop
staring at your teeth.
1443
01:21:58,008 --> 01:21:59,486
I ordered some champagne.
1444
01:21:59,751 --> 01:22:00,549
Come in!
1445
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:02,077
Oh lovely Austin.
1446
01:22:02,358 --> 01:22:04,225
Right over there is fine.
Thank you.
1447
01:22:04,309 --> 01:22:06,318
Let's go out on the terrace.
It's a beautiful night.
1448
01:22:06,343 --> 01:22:07,576
We can look at the stars.
1449
01:22:08,117 --> 01:22:10,152
Smashing idea baby, yeah.
1450
01:22:10,304 --> 01:22:11,320
Look at you.
1451
01:22:15,023 --> 01:22:15,890
Look out!
1452
01:22:19,342 --> 01:22:20,930
That really hurt!
1453
01:22:22,079 --> 01:22:23,993
I am going to have
a lump there, you idiot.
1454
01:22:24,589 --> 01:22:26,138
Who throws a shoe?
1455
01:22:26,271 --> 01:22:27,391
Honestly.
1456
01:22:28,642 --> 01:22:30,170
You fight like a woman.
1457
01:22:45,555 --> 01:22:46,405
Austin.
1458
01:22:48,258 --> 01:22:50,576
Honestly, it's not mine.
1459
01:22:50,643 --> 01:22:52,144
No, use it.
1460
01:23:17,682 --> 01:23:20,089
Look how beautiful the night sky is.
1461
01:23:20,268 --> 01:23:22,042
Hey, isn't that the big dipper?
1462
01:23:22,621 --> 01:23:25,123
Yeah and that looks just like Uranus.
1463
01:23:25,729 --> 01:23:26,829
Austin.
1464
01:23:26,896 --> 01:23:27,898
Well, you know.
1465
01:23:28,570 --> 01:23:30,765
Hey, I have never seen that big star before.
1466
01:23:30,790 --> 01:23:31,924
Yeah. What is that?
1467
01:23:34,954 --> 01:23:36,304
Good God.
1468
01:23:41,794 --> 01:23:44,462
I am gonna get you Austin Powers.
1469
01:23:44,997 --> 01:23:48,567
It's fricking freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth.
1470
01:23:55,468 --> 01:23:58,468
By LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections September 2022
1471
01:24:18,383 --> 01:24:20,116
Darling, you look fabulous.
1472
01:24:20,228 --> 01:24:21,263
Ok baby.
1473
01:24:21,835 --> 01:24:23,301
Alright.
There we go.
1474
01:24:23,413 --> 01:24:25,531
Look at that face.
Show me. Come on.
1475
01:24:25,600 --> 01:24:27,066
There.
Bit of hair, bit of hair.
1476
01:24:27,091 --> 01:24:28,051
Smashing.
1477
01:24:28,176 --> 01:24:28,934
Ok.
1478
01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,739
It's coming around now.
Coming around. Yes.
1479
01:24:31,878 --> 01:24:32,939
Yes. Great.
1480
01:24:32,963 --> 01:24:34,020
Yes. Yes.
1481
01:24:34,081 --> 01:24:35,520
Yes.
No! No!
1482
01:24:36,186 --> 01:24:37,415
No, it's not working!
1483
01:24:37,583 --> 01:24:38,734
Go change.
There you go.
1484
01:24:38,792 --> 01:24:41,210
Can you change her?
Is that ok? Is that alright?
1485
01:24:41,354 --> 01:24:42,321
Very good.
1486
01:24:42,588 --> 01:24:43,639
Very good.
1487
01:24:44,018 --> 01:24:45,201
And right here.
1488
01:24:45,261 --> 01:24:46,753
Right here.
Looking right there.
1489
01:24:47,296 --> 01:24:48,530
I am not even looking.
1490
01:24:49,212 --> 01:24:50,449
Oh, you are wicked!
1491
01:24:50,558 --> 01:24:53,118
You got your mojo
working overtime darling.
1492
01:24:53,157 --> 01:24:53,613
Yeah.
1493
01:24:53,638 --> 01:24:55,856
Look. I am not even shooting it.
It's insane.
1494
01:24:56,089 --> 01:24:57,169
Smashing.
1495
01:24:58,151 --> 01:24:59,639
Come on.
Can I get a smile?
1496
01:25:00,006 --> 01:25:01,271
Ok, come on.
1497
01:25:01,515 --> 01:25:03,116
Come on you boys.
Get together. Come on.
1498
01:25:05,044 --> 01:25:06,612
Ok, good. Loving it.
1499
01:25:06,637 --> 01:25:08,420
Let's make a Vanessa sandwich.
1500
01:25:08,445 --> 01:25:10,113
The winged horn, the winged horn.
1501
01:25:10,249 --> 01:25:12,101
Come on, Austin.
Give it to me. Go. Go.
1502
01:25:12,986 --> 01:25:14,490
Oh, behave.
1503
01:25:14,804 --> 01:25:16,740
Ok, you are an animal!
1504
01:25:16,956 --> 01:25:18,357
An animal!
1505
01:25:18,491 --> 01:25:19,524
Yes.
1506
01:25:22,478 --> 01:25:24,378
Yes! That's it. Yeah.
1507
01:25:24,433 --> 01:25:26,214
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
1508
01:25:26,466 --> 01:25:28,120
Just the top of the hair.
That's all I want.
1509
01:25:28,145 --> 01:25:29,445
Born and shoot.
1510
01:25:29,619 --> 01:25:30,903
Again. Try it one more time.
1511
01:25:30,971 --> 01:25:33,266
And born and shoot.
1512
01:25:33,329 --> 01:25:34,263
That's it.
1513
01:25:35,141 --> 01:25:36,469
Let's go.
Come on. Come on.
1514
01:25:36,494 --> 01:25:37,360
Come on!
1515
01:25:38,027 --> 01:25:39,795
Ignore this.
Ignore this.
1516
01:25:39,962 --> 01:25:41,079
Ignore me doing this.
1517
01:25:44,732 --> 01:25:45,767
Fabulous darling.
1518
01:25:50,890 --> 01:25:52,374
Go! Go! Go!
1519
01:25:57,781 --> 01:25:59,564
Lord. Lord.
1520
01:26:03,436 --> 01:26:04,720
Ok. Show me the eye.
1521
01:26:05,287 --> 01:26:05,982
Yes.
1522
01:26:06,321 --> 01:26:07,105
Yes.
1523
01:26:07,473 --> 01:26:08,360
Yes. No!
1524
01:26:08,470 --> 01:26:09,527
No! No!
1525
01:26:09,999 --> 01:26:12,056
Never get up.
Oh spit!
1526
01:26:12,896 --> 01:26:13,935
We will take you...
1527
01:26:13,960 --> 01:26:15,306
And we will go out on the town
1528
01:26:15,331 --> 01:26:17,599
and swing baby. Yeah.
1529
01:26:18,857 --> 01:26:21,857
By LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections September 2022
101978
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