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# He remains an Englishman,
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♪ He remains an
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♪ E-e-e-e-englishman. ♪
4
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Wow!
5
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That was er... You hate it.
6
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I never said "hate." But it needs something.
7
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Yeah, it does. It needs, er...
8
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Are there any non-singing roles?
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Aw, thank you, Deborah. Thank you very much.
10
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Oh, no come on, don't be like that.
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I'm just being honest.
12
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I know. And I said thank you,
so, you know, thank you.
13
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Look, I've got to go work.
14
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,960
So I'll see you later on then, Simon.
15
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Cos of Simon Cowell.
16
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Cos you were just like... I know, I get it.
17
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-I love you.
-Thank you.
18
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Far, far ago,
the ancients wrote upon the scrolls
19
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that dark forces would sweep our realm,
20
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until only Yonderland remained.
21
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But they telled also of a saviour,
22
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come from a distant world to save
us from the shadows and stuff.
23
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"Thank you for purchasing..."
24
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,400
a yada, yada, yada, yada...
25
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"Ensure it is in the upright position
26
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"and stood on a solid, level surface."
27
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Hmm, you! Fix this!
28
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,040
Well, er, it's the ground
underneath that's the problem.
29
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,120
I'd have to take all that up, level it off,
30
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,960
screed it, re-set the stonewor...
31
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,880
Or you could do that, it's cheaper.
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"In a weird voice chant 'font of...'"
33
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Font of Oris!
34
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Grant me the power of the all-seeing eye!
35
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,200
Excellent! One ruined monastery.
36
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,400
Left a bit.
37
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,480
-I'll do it!
-No, I'll do it! Get your claws off.
38
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Oooh, messy.
39
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Thank you!
40
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,080
I baited the whole place with ogre musk.
They tore it apart!
41
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Yeah, but who got the ogre musk, eh?
42
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I mean have you tried swabbing an ogre's...
43
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,320
HE GROANS What about the...occupants?
44
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No sign of them, your darkness.
45
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I guess they were ogre food.
46
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Unless they heard the ogres
coming and fledded, er, fled?
47
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,680
Fledded? Flud? Is it flud?
48
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Shut up!
I shall dispatch some bounty hunters
49
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to tidy up any loose ends.
50
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We don't need that scum, your darkness!
51
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We can track down any survivors!
52
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We're better than any bounty hunters.
53
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We're not a complete bunch of...
54
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Berks.
55
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,520
Ooh, yeah.
56
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HE BREAKS WIND
57
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I've got a degree.
58
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Oh, termites!
59
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'Ere, what you got?
60
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,960
This is a scarf.
61
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Debbie gave it me, keeps your neck warm.
62
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Why didn't I get a scarf?
63
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Cos you don't have a neck.
64
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,840
Oh, yeah, bring that up!
65
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,760
Right, so, come on then,
what's the big secret? Where we going?
66
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It's a surprise!
67
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I know that, but tell me anyway.
68
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Oh, all right.
69
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,880
Well, once every thousand years...
70
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,800
Yeah?..all the trees in
the Forest of Garvin...
71
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,920
Yeah?..in perfect unison...
72
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Yes?
73
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..yawn.
74
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,640
When this place gets an Imax,
it's going to blow...your...minds!
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00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:55,680
Right.
76
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,680
What's that?
77
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,920
Oh, well, that's what we call smoke.
78
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,040
A sort of a grey, cloudy, billowy...
79
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,680
I know that but where's it coming from?
80
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,240
Oh, that's what we call fire.
A hot orangey...
81
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,760
Debbie! Where are you going?
What about the yawning?
82
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Great - head towards the fire.
83
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,840
Can't see that ending badly - for a stick.
84
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HE GROANS
85
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Is it OK?
86
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,240
Erm, well, put it this way,
if anyone asks...
87
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he was on camera!
88
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,040
I was not on camera, you was on camera!
89
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No, you was on camera!
90
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,400
No, I'm not listening.
91
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,960
Ah, this is Auntie Betty's
birthday all over again!
92
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,520
Hardly, I mean eight people died, Neil.
93
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,480
What happened here?
94
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,680
Looks like ogres.
95
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Smells like ogres
96
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Ogres.
97
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Sh!
98
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Is it me, or does it feel like...
99
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We're being watched.
100
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,960
THEY SCREAM
101
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,920
I did not mean to startle you.
102
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,040
I am aware my face looks like matted
drain hair on a bed of blue cheese.
103
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,640
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
104
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,000
Oh, but you must, tired-looking woman.
105
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,040
Excuse me?
106
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,880
For it is the truth. You see, I cannot lie.
107
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Our holy order believes that truth
108
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is the great light in the universe,
109
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,840
apart from all the suns, obviously.
110
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,440
That's rubbish, everyone can lie -
111
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"I'm washing my hair."
112
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,960
Erm, "It was good for me, too."
113
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,360
I'd know not how.
114
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,960
You see we follow the example
of John of Atherley...
115
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,120
He brought forth truth into a world of lies.
116
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As do we to this day.
117
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Though, as you can see,
not all are ready for it.
118
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What do you mean?
119
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We had a visitor.
120
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,800
He came in the dark hours,
121
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,040
looking for the soothing oils
of the Lappy-Lappy plant.
122
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,560
Hello and it is evening.
123
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Shut up, I need some more of that stuff.
124
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Another rash on your gentleman's excuse-me?
125
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,360
Give me the damned vial!
126
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,280
I fear you may have developed
a tolerance for Lappy-Lappy.
127
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,240
Perhaps I could recommend Punto juice,
128
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,200
which would also help clear up
your rotting-carcass breath.
129
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,560
What?
130
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,720
It is a common condition,
often passed down the maternal line.
131
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,400
Tell me,
did your mother smell of dead sea birds?
132
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-What?!
-Did she stink?
133
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,400
Have weight issues? Body hair?
134
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:25,040
Was she fat and ugly,
your mother...who I presume is dead?
135
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,800
'And then, for some reason,
he became angered.'
136
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,160
Had his minions bait the
walls with ogre musk -
137
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we didn't stand a chance.
138
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,320
They destroyed everything.
139
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,920
Chapel, chambers, most of that shoe.
140
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,520
Ogre hit squad. Classic Negatus.
141
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,200
Oh, not him again!
142
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I know not how he sleeps at night.
143
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,520
SNORING
144
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I mean clearly he's wrong in the head.
145
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,320
But this whole honesty
thing won't have helped.
146
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,040
You just come across as rude.
147
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,440
How so, woman-clearly-nearing-40?
148
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,680
What do you mean 40?! I'm 33!
149
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,760
Do you smoke?
150
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,320
I don't have to listen to this!
151
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,680
Oh, great!
We can still make the yawning if we're quick.
152
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,480
I would say "Nice to meet you," but,
since we're all being honest...
153
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COUGHING
154
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,840
This is all that remains of our holy order.
155
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,280
Hardly the picture of health,
but we are surviving.
156
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,280
Apart from brothers Kevin,
Carl, Robert and Colin.
157
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,760
And Jamaal.
158
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,800
This isn't surviving. You're dying.
159
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,760
Mm. All very sad.
Anyway, about this yawning...
160
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,320
No, no, we can't just leave them.
They need help.
161
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,880
Word will have reached the Elders.
162
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,120
They'll be planning a rescue as we speak.
163
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,560
Well, am I a vegetable then?!
164
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,720
No.
165
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,840
Then I must be a mineral!
166
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:42,960
No.
167
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,560
Oh, for the love of the Gods,
it's been three hours!
168
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,280
OK, OK, let's just play a different game.
169
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,400
I know a way to spice up Twister.
170
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,440
No!
171
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,560
No, no, we can't take the chance.
They need help now.
172
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,600
I mean this feels chosen-y to me.
173
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,480
Doesn't it feel quite chosen-y to you?
174
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,080
But what about the...?
175
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,240
TREES YAWN
176
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
177
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,240
It's fine. I'll catch it next time.
178
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,560
Oh, no. That's right.
179
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:16,600
I'll be dead!
180
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,720
Ow! Oh, there she goes...
181
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,320
Our order has lived here for centuri.
182
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,120
We have everything we need -
183
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shelter...
184
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a well, a toilet.
185
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,480
I thought that was the well.
186
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,480
And what about food? You're starving.
187
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,880
The truth sustains us.
188
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,080
And crisps.
189
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,240
Oh, yes.
190
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,280
But we ate them all.
191
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,560
It was Brother Anthony's half-birthday.
192
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,640
I'm old and forgetful.
But at least I'm not old and forgetful.
193
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,760
And what about Negatus?
194
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,240
What if he comes back or sends more giants?
195
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,160
Ogres.
196
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,240
Cor! There's no such thing as giants.
197
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,760
Silly woman. Silly woman.
198
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,560
All right, well you know what I mean.
The big things that eat monks.
199
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,800
What if they come back? You can't stay here.
200
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,840
But where will we go?
201
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,080
Wait! I've just remembered something!
No, it's gone again.
202
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,840
No - it's back!
203
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,920
It was once foretold that,
in a time of great crisis,
204
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,080
a chosen one would come
and lead us to a new life
205
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,760
where the moon lives under the water.
206
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,320
You mean... Atherley?
207
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,400
Atherley.
208
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,960
Yes, the birthplace of our founder.
209
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,160
Hang on, we can't just saunter
down to Atherley with this lot...
210
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,240
They're wanted men.
What if we're stopped, questioned?
211
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,760
They can't lie!
212
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,640
That's rubbish, everyone can lie.
213
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,280
That's a chicken.
214
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,520
THEY EXCLAIM
215
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,720
No, it's not.
216
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,680
OK, yeah.
I see what you mean, they need work.
217
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,920
And you need some sort of disguise.
218
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,600
Do you have a less monkish look?
219
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,160
Yeah - not that.
220
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,840
You are NOT monks.
221
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,960
So...are you monks?
222
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,080
Yes!
223
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,080
Do you know what? Just don't talk.
224
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,560
Going to be easier.
225
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,920
Here we go again.
226
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,800
No, it's a flutterbug.
227
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,600
No, it's a swivel chair.
228
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,600
No, it's a flutterbug.
229
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,520
I've got a name, you know!
230
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,120
It's Kieran.
231
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,320
Well, they look better on
Pete but it's an improvement.
232
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,680
The ties are a bit big, too much gel.
233
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,200
It's all a bit estate agent.
234
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,880
THEY MUTTER
235
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,600
Who is this Esther Taygent?
236
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,880
Estate agents - bunch of...
237
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,400
Sort of the opposite of you.
238
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,760
This way!
239
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,640
VOICES TALK IN BACKGROUND
240
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:13,200
Quick - this way!
Stay close and keep your eyes open.
241
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,960
SHE GASPS
242
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,840
Prayer beads.
243
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,600
The monks, they're alive. This way.
244
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,000
What monks are these then?
-Seriously? -Hmm.
245
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,440
Well, don't just stand there.
246
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,040
Or do you want some bounty hunter
to become Minion of the Month?!
247
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,200
Come on.
248
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,440
Tree!
249
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,560
-Correct.
-Yes!
250
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,520
So the opposite of what we want.
251
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,280
Oh, no.
252
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,080
Stitch.
253
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,800
We are trying, Debbie.
254
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,640
It's just you're much better at
being conniving and deceitful.
255
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,440
You see, that right there is the problem.
256
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,000
It's the way in which you're honest.
257
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,360
You offend people and you don't
even know you're doing it. Come on.
258
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,880
HE HUMS
259
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,760
Acorn-face. What is this chanting?
260
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,600
It's called singing. Like it?
261
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,600
It could do with a little,
erm, how do you say?
262
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,800
Shut up, yeah?
263
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,640
Thank you.
264
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,120
GUN COCKS
265
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,000
So uh... Slight problem.
266
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,200
Well, well, well, well.
267
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,320
Bounty hunters.
268
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,600
What do we have...?
269
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,600
I thought we said we'd do the
"Wells" together
270
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,320
then I'd do the "What do we have...?"
271
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,520
Yeah, I know we did, babe,
272
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,040
but I just thought it would
add more malevolence, you know?
273
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,680
Just be a bit more threatening.
I know what malevolence means!
274
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,560
Can we talk about this later please?
I think we should! And the rest.
275
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:44,520
Right. Have any of you seen the
following people-slash-creatures?
276
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,080
The Lizard Man of Corn Coppice? Hmm?
277
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,000
That's a no.
278
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,040
The Little Chefs?
279
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,840
Friends of yours, little man?
280
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,840
Er, yeah, cos we're all the same...
281
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,560
Careful!
282
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,320
What about...the Monks of Truth?
283
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:13,840
We are...
284
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,760
Estate agents! Aren't you?
285
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,160
Um...
286
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,880
Fair enough! All right, be on your way.
287
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,560
- Though we used to be monks.
- That's them!
288
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,480
Dead or alive, I believe it said.
289
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,000
Well, you know my preference.
290
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,040
Eat stick!
291
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,160
Quick! Push 'em in!
292
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,960
Oh, my God! Did you see that? We...
293
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,080
Please tell me they're not in my house.
294
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,320
Are they in my house?!
Tell me they're not in my house!
295
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,000
Debbie, do you really think
296
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:03,080
I would let a pair of vicious
bounty hunters into your home?
297
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,480
No. No, of course not. I'm sorry.
298
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,120
That's all right. Who's your Elf, eh?
299
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,400
-You are!
-Who's your Elf? You!
300
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,080
Yeah, I am! Go on.
301
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,640
HE LAUGHS
302
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,440
So where did they go?
303
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,920
No idea. You?
304
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,160
Axed if I know.
305
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,200
Customers are reminded to report
306
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,920
any suspicious behaviour to station staff.
307
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,080
Thank you.
308
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,200
There you are - Atherley.
309
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,000
Atherley.
310
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,080
Where the moon lives under the water!
311
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,880
Last one to the temple is
physically the slowest!
312
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,360
Have they gone?
313
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,280
I think so, yeah.
314
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,240
So, sorry, you were saying...
315
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,600
Oh, right, yeah - basically,
it's a chain of roadside diners.
316
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,080
OK. Go on...
317
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,440
I'm thinking breakfasts.
318
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,880
-Yeah?All day!
-What?
319
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,400
Kevin, you're drunk.
320
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,960
I love you, mate. You're drunk.
321
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,560
I love you. You're drunk.
322
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,720
And I'm drunk.
323
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,560
But this cannot be.
324
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,960
The Moon under the Water is
supposed to be a great temple -
325
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,760
ancestral home of the great non-fibber,
326
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,680
not some common hostelry.
327
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,240
Well, someone's been telling porky pies.
328
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,160
And question 30 - the answer is...
329
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,160
Vitamin D, that's Vitamin D,
330
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,760
though I will accept cantilever.
331
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,440
And I'll be back later with the rest.
332
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,720
Ales all round - the elf's paying.
333
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,640
What? Got no pockets.
334
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,600
Even the prices are dishonest.
335
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,760
This cannot be the home of John of Atherley?
336
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,600
MUFFLED SPEECH
337
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,080
Yes. Know you of him?
338
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,440
Well, such truth and wisdom
must have left an indelible...
339
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,080
What?
340
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,200
HE GASPS
341
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,960
No, no - John of Atherley.
342
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280
But he brought forth truth
into a world of lies.
343
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,760
Thank you. Take care.
344
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,240
Karen! Table.
345
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,720
So, it was all just...
346
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,280
Lies.
347
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,480
I never thought I'd say this,
but the truth hurts.
348
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,680
Yes! Exactly. Sometimes it does.
349
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,600
But now you see that, you've got a choice.
350
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,280
If the truth is going to hurt someone,
why not...?
351
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,400
Quick! Hide!
352
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,400
Ah, get out the way, ah, move...
353
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,080
Mind it, lanky.
354
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,720
You don't look...local.
355
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,880
Quite the opposite.
In fact, you look...distant.
356
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,520
Hang on...
357
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,640
Who are you?
358
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,680
Ay! She asked you a question.
359
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,840
Yeah.
360
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,200
We are...
361
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,000
Yes...
362
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,320
We are...
363
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,800
Yes?
364
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,840
Estate Agents!
365
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,600
Yes, Estate Agents!
366
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,480
We have an important meeting in
the neighbouring village actually
367
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,560
and we are here to discuss strategy.
368
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:22,680
So, Ian - what was that idea
you had about Estate Agency?
369
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:32,040
Well, Craig, my thoughts about
the Estate Agent business...
370
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,760
Let's try the next village -
they can't have got far.
371
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,120
Excuse me.
372
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,000
Four large drinks please, barman!
373
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,240
No,
I find the atmosphere quite intoxicating.
374
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,880
A welcome change from
papa's starchy functions.
375
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,760
Then let us drink to change,
Miss Fanshawe...
376
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,320
Rachel -
for I fancy a change in circumstance may be
377
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,480
just around the...
378
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,280
Move it, you!
379
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,920
SHE CHOKES
380
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,640
Rachel? Rachel?
381
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,280
Guys! Talk about a fib-fest!
You were amazing!
382
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,440
It's all down to you,
Debbie, you big fibber.
383
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,520
Your lies have set us free.
384
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,080
And I think we'd just
all really like to say...
385
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,760
Nope, no idea where I was going with that.
386
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,960
- We love you, Debbie!
- That was it!
387
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,400
And I properly love you.
388
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,280
In fact, why not come back to mine tonight?
389
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,040
I'd definitely call you tomorrow.
390
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,760
Yeah, I think you've got the hang of it.
391
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,360
Come on. No, I...I meant it.
392
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,080
-Oh...and, Debbie?
-Yeah?
393
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,880
You don't look a day over 21.
394
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,200
Liar.
395
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,560
Yes.
396
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,400
Rachel, Rachel.
397
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,840
Live, damn you!
398
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,120
Live!
399
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,360
But they can't even lie -
how can they just disappear?
400
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,360
Unless someone helped them.
401
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,480
That woman! Honestly, what is going on here?
402
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,480
How can such a meaningless
nobody keep getting
403
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,560
the better of an evil genius like me?
404
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,440
Unless she is...
405
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,800
HE SPLUTTERS
406
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,960
Wish I hadn't done that.
407
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,120
Unless she is what they say she is.
408
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,160
The Chosen One?
409
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,920
Don't say it! If you say it, then it's true!
410
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,960
And if it's true, then...
411
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,600
I shall have to tell the boss.
412
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,240
And now this is cold.
413
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,840
Honestly, sometimes I think I've
got the worst job in the world.
414
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,160
I beg to differ.
415
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,720
You think you've got it bad?!
416
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,080
Shut up and do the other one.
417
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,120
OK!
418
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,200
♪ He remains an
419
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:58,880
♪ E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-englishman. ♪
420
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,000
That is so much better!
421
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,920
Can you see that down at the civic hall?
422
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,640
I could see that at the Albert Hall, Pete!
423
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,080
♪ He might have been a Russian. ♪
424
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,520
Yeah - all that's great.
And do you know what?
425
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,720
It's so nice to see you
doing something you love.
426
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,800
Aw! Thanks chuchiface!
427
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,480
Oh careful, don't get tea on your suit.
428
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,120
Don't worry, I've got lots of suits.
429
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,440
So, what do we do with our lives,
now the truth no longer binds us?
430
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,240
It's a Bijou property.
431
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,680
With great potential for expansion.
432
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,600
Benefitting from a roof.
433
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,520
And walls!
434
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,760
So, do we have a deal?
435
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,800
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
436
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,840
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