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1
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Hello? You are Debbie, yes?
Debbie of Maddox?
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The "of" is optional.
3
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Oh! I am so pleased to see you!
4
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I've been in here so long,
my cramps have got cramps.
5
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,360
But I suppose if you spend years in a box...
6
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,040
You've been in there for years?
What?! How many years?!
7
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I don't know.
8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:29,320
34 years, six days and eight minutes...
Oh, and three months.
9
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34 years?
10
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,160
34 years?! Are you serious?!
It seemed like less.
11
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But also much more.
Oh, how I've dreamed of this day.
12
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,880
Though in my dream you are like a buffalo,
but with wings,
13
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,640
and I say "my name is Babbas"
14
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,280
and I show you the message - oh, that's it!
15
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I have a message for you. Where -shall I set it up?
-Set up what?
16
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,720
My projector.
17
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,440
Debs? Did you call?
18
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:53,880
I'm on the phone... Bye... Sue?
Look, I can't do this now.
19
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,040
Can it wait till tomorrow?
20
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,520
What, after 34 years? Are youBLEEPjoking?
21
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,200
Sorry, I lent on theBLEEPbutton
22
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,960
Oh, no, I did it again!
23
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,720
'Far, far ago,
the ancients wrote upon the scrolls
24
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'that dark forces would sweep our realm,
25
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'until only Yonderland remained.
26
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,800
'But they telled also of a saviour,
come from a distant world, to save
27
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'us from the shadows, hopefully!'
28
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OK, two questions -
are we still going to the festival?
29
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,760
and, what's this?
30
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,640
Not for you,
and the festival might have to wait.
31
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,600
What?! He says this is important.
32
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And you trust him?! Cos I don't.
33
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,520
I mean where's he even from?
34
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Clearly, he's from Yonderland.
35
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,600
How do you know? People from Birmingham
have slightly different hands.
36
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,920
Do you want to hear -the message or not?
-Yes.
37
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,760
-No.
-You're the one who's always on about my fate.
38
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,200
Now I've been sent a mysterious
message from Yonderland,
39
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,240
that's been in a box for
more than three decades,
40
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,840
and you don't want to know what it is?
41
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,520
If it means missing Hot Flap
on the main stage at 12, no.
42
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,800
Just play it.
43
00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:58,840
Good.
44
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,160
If you are watching this message,
then, despite my best efforts,
45
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you have become "Debbie of Maddox".
46
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Who is that? What, him? Can't remember.
47
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As such, you must listen very carefully,
48
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for this is of utmost importance.
49
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Whatever you do, you must never EVER...
50
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Aaaaagh! Fire! Fire!
51
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,320
My pleasure. Shall we?
52
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,360
Yeah, Look, we won't be long.
53
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,920
Just try and get that fixed, yeah.
54
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,600
-Of course.
-And stay out of sight. No problem!
55
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,840
If there's one thing history has proved,
56
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,240
it's that Babbas can stay in a box.
In fact...
57
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,040
MUFFLED
58
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,440
OK, stay in the box!
59
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,360
Always in the box...
60
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,240
Will I need wellies?
61
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,200
-No.
-You don't know what they are, -do you? -No idea.
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TELEPHONE RINGS
63
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,880
'Husband alert!
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'Servers are down so I'm going
to come and work from home.
65
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,400
'Lots to do but that doesn't
mean I won't have time for some
66
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,320
'boom-chicka-wow-wow...' BEEP
67
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,680
♪ Are you coming to the Meadowlands
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00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:21,040
♪ Where your brothers and
sisters hold all of their hands?
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♪ Are you coming to a special place... ♪
70
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,360
Sean's Beans beans! Get ya blasted beans!
71
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,920
Come on, what are you waiting for? Cavalry?!
72
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,040
See, told you, it's great here.
73
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,680
Have a massage or something.
74
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,920
It's all free - VIC passes! Ha!
75
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,720
How'd you wangle those?
76
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,360
He told them that you... Friend of a friend.
Of a friend.
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:49,080
The Chosen One!
Oh, my Gods, it's you, you're actually here!
78
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,160
Please, rub your scent gland on -that?
-Em... I'll sign it for you.
79
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,400
Here you go OK, well, that'll...have to do.
80
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,840
Mead! Fizz! Pips! Mead?
81
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,360
No, thank you. All right, suit yourself.
82
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,160
It was lovely to meet you.
83
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,040
Thank you so much!
84
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,280
It's weird how stuff like
that keeps happening.
85
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,160
Yeah, I don't see what's weird about it.
86
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,080
Dress your wife up like The Chosen One!
87
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,960
There you go, mate.
88
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,560
Thank you. Wear it tonight, yeah?
89
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,600
If you must, Gary.
90
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,680
Get your Debbie costumes, Debbie wigs!
91
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,360
OK, that's a bit weird.
92
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,560
Oh, no, no no, Can't you read?
No refunds, darling.
93
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,120
-What?
-For the wig.
94
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,600
Don't look like one of mine anyway,
looks like dry hay.
95
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,320
Is it dry hay?
96
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,160
Oh, do you see those?
97
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,360
Oh, they're very popular, talking dolls.
Genuine Debbie catchphrases.
98
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,200
I'm The Chowsen One!
99
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,440
What a luvvly caake!
100
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:47,680
I would never say that!
101
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,360
Well, I'm guessing they wouldn't sell
102
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,080
if they just whinged about their kids.
103
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,320
-Oh, look!
-Get your Debbie outfits, perfectly normal behaviour,
104
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,560
don't be embarrassed!
105
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:03,520
♪ We breathe it through our nose
106
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:10,400
♪ And touch it with our hands
107
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,760
♪ We dance and we sing... ♪
108
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,000
Under and over, UNDER AND OVER!
109
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♪ ..Cause we're in love with everything.
♪
110
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,280
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
111
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:34,800
Oh! Kings of Things, everyone!
That was so cool guys, utterly cool!
112
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,640
Don't forget later on we've
got our special guest -
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Debbie Maddox is going to be here!
114
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CHEERING
115
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,600
Oh. Did I not mention...?
116
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,920
She'll be telling us how she
plans to bring about global peace
117
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,920
and an end to all pain and suffering.
118
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,880
That's in half an hour - just before Blue.
119
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,080
But now, it's a proud moment for our
beloved local greengrocer, Mr Jack.
120
00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,040
-Whoo hoo!
-Yeah - as his lad takes to the stage.
121
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,680
Please welcome, Michael Jack's son!
122
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:03,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
123
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,400
Oh, no. He's bad.
124
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,280
Let's head backstage!
See if we can blag a backrub.
125
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,480
Don't know where he is... Oh, murder!
There's been a murder!
126
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,960
Oh, that is not cool.
127
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,680
And I completely understand your beef,
your eminence.
128
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,880
I mean I'd be angry too,
if I were in your shoes.
129
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,920
I mean, I'm angry just in my shoes.
130
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,640
My point is my operation here is
about far more than just money.
131
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,800
When you're trying to
apprehend the Chosen One,
132
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,720
there's lots of plates to...
133
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,280
juggle. Balls to juggle...
134
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:47,040
Then you'll be relieved to hear
I've scheduled you for inspection.
135
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,480
I am sending Admiral Anous.
136
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,720
Anous? Coming here?
137
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,400
How...wonderful.
138
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,600
I've always been such a fan of his work.
139
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,120
Really?
Cos you always said he was an utter...
140
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,680
Role model! Yes.
141
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,920
Just out of interest,
when is he due to arrive
142
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,640
because you know what,
I might just pop out to get some nibbles...
143
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,120
I'm sure you will extend him every courtesy.
144
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,120
I'm not here.
145
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,560
What?
146
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,280
Just go about your business as usual.
147
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,640
Right you are.
148
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,080
Neil - what's on the schedule today?
149
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,240
second breakfast,
talk about last night's sport,
150
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,000
-nap... Ow!
-Tour!
151
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,200
I should give you the tour. Shall we?
152
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,880
Me first? OK.
153
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,360
Babbas could stretch his legs a little bit.
154
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,920
OK...
155
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,800
Look! It's Michael Jack's son!
156
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,320
Excuse me. Excuse me.
157
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,400
I only saw him yesterday and he seemed fine.
158
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,440
He didn't say he was going to be murdered.
159
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,560
It's OK, guys - Mountebank's here!
160
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,360
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
161
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,400
Make way for the detective, guys!
162
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,560
HE SNIFFS
163
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,000
Oooh!
164
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,160
Ahh! Oo-ooh.
165
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,760
Ahhh!
166
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,080
So good, man!
167
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,640
Ah!
168
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,720
The victim is a grown-up or large child,
169
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,040
in his late teens to early 80s.
170
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,160
The sole of his right shoe
is worn on the in-step,
171
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,920
suggesting he likes pina coladas
and getting caught in the rain,
172
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,680
hates geese and will not drive
in reverse for religious reasons.
173
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,520
Wow!
-His left arm bends in the middle, and the condition has
174
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,720
spread to the knees, which combined
with that cloud, something else and
175
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,840
the fact I like those biscuits with
the jam in, can mean only one thing!
176
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,520
This man is selling poisoned
mead and he is the killer!
177
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,800
No, I'm not!
178
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,600
APPLAUSE
179
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,520
Is he really the best detective you've got?
180
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,040
Even better -
he's the only detective we've got.
181
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,480
Wow. You guys really make
things easy for evil overlords.
182
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,600
Well, seems my work here is done,
I might grab a beer.
183
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,600
Hang on, excuse me.
184
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,240
I'm not sure that all adds up.
185
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,240
Oh!
186
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,160
How many people here have drunk the mead?
187
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,480
--Oh, yeah.
-I'm not. -Me neither.
188
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,200
You see. And they're not dead.
189
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,000
I have like, a cold?
190
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,880
Young lady,
clearly you posses some limited intellect
191
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,960
and your unqualified
conjecture is a charming
192
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,760
distraction from the constant
churning of my brilliant mind.
193
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,000
But,
if we can take this conversation somewhere
194
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,120
a little more private -
195
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,760
I will explain why my
hypothesis is the only possible
196
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,520
explanation for this most
perplexing of mysteries!
197
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,360
I'm a total fraud!
-Please don't tell anyone! -What?
198
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,720
HE SOBS
199
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,680
It's OK. Just start from the beginning.
200
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,800
Who are you really?
201
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,680
My name is Leslie John Lesley,
and I was a fisherman's friend.
202
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,600
-Sorry?
-Y'know - keep them company, make their sandwiches,
203
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,360
congratulate them on their yield.
204
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,240
It all began on my birthday...
205
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,800
I'd been given shore leave,
so treated myself to a luncheon.
206
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,320
Nice little bistro on the square -
I Forget The Name...
207
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,480
Voila! Oh, thank you, it was lovely.
208
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,840
'I was settling the outrageous bill
when in walked Detective Crichley.'
209
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,840
Ah, Monsieur Detective. Your usual table...
210
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,000
'He had solved many crimes including
the Sound of the Baskervilles
211
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,640
'and the Great Brain Robbery.
212
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,240
'But along the way he
had made many menemies -
213
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,880
'many enemies, mainly men.'
214
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:07,920
He-he-he...
215
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,840
'I was due back at the docks by
one and was reaching for my coat
216
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,840
'when I realised he was in distress,
or a very floral jacket,
217
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,440
'either way he was choking.'
218
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,160
'What happened next is a blur,
219
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,080
'but somehow a tiny chancer ended
up snagged on my coat hook.'
220
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,800
Errr...
221
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,600
He's dead!
222
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,400
Who did this?
223
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,480
'He had guilt written all over his face,
well the bit you could see.'
224
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,760
How did you do that?
225
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,480
'I knew I'd done nothing but in the moment,
I just took their applause.'
226
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,760
Before I knew it, they'd given me his badge.
227
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,800
'Said I had "the gift".
228
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,680
They had me up on their shoulders,
parading me through the town!
229
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,240
-I know what that's like.
-Every time I turned up at a crime-scene there was
230
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,880
a crowd of them waiting,
watching, expecting...
231
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,800
So... how many cases have you "solved"?
232
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,480
What are you here for?
233
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,840
Smoking. You?
234
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,640
I imprisoned -hundreds of innocent people.
-Oh!
235
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,040
I also smoke. Oh.
236
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,240
ROWDY LAUGHTER
237
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,520
Hundreds you say?
238
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,760
Possibly thousands.
239
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,200
No wonder the jails are overcrowded!
240
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,520
Ahhhh!!
241
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,280
No, no - but it's not funny is it,
at the end of the day.
242
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,600
It's serious.
243
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,280
We should probably pardon all
those people at some point.
244
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,520
And he can stand down? Sure, yeah
245
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,240
Can't see why not. Thank you very much.
246
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,600
And you'll take over. Erm... Sorry?
247
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,840
He can't stand down without a successor,
Deb-beh.
248
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,160
I've got two lives as it is!
249
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,640
I've got the kids to pick up...
250
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,960
All right, all right,
don't bore us with that!
251
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,600
Find someone else to do it then, yeah?
252
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,000
And how am I supposed to do that?
253
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,800
I'm sure you'll think of something.
Now then, where were we? Lights!
254
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:02,720
-Urgh!
-So here's the second beach we visited - where, once again,
255
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,200
as you can see, robes were optional...
256
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,600
Onto the Staff Quarters.
257
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,640
We do have electric lights
if the candles fail...
258
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,720
And this is the break-out room.
Where staff take their breaks... Hello.
259
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,560
And this is the torture room.
Where staff get tortured...
260
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,160
For taking too many breaks. Hello.
261
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,760
So, yeah, we're like a well oiled machine -
262
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,480
primed and ready to try
and catch The Chosen One.
263
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,440
And we're getting pretty good at it.
264
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,480
In fact,
no-one has as much experience as we have,
265
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,280
trying to catch the Chosen One, so...
Where are they?
266
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,280
Sorry, who?
267
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:51,720
The other demons.
According to my figures there should be...
268
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,680
381.
269
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,480
Yeah, he got angry and killed...
270
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,800
FOOT AND MOUTH! '94. Terrible business.
271
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,720
And these are all that remain?
272
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,360
Well, they're all I need.
273
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,680
The cream de la creme.
274
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,520
Don't eat that, Jeff.
275
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,880
RATTLING
276
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,640
STOMACH RUMBLES
277
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:19,960
I agree.
34 years is too long between snacks.
278
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,040
Dare I venture beyond the box?
279
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,240
FOOTSTEPS Hmm...
280
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,560
Oh! Will wonders never cease?!
281
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,280
A box beyond a box!
282
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,080
Dare I think outside it.
283
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,160
Well, thank you all for coming.
284
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,200
Just so you know, you were hand-picked...
Hello.
285
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:57,360
You were hand-picked from the
three people that replied to the
286
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,200
-advert, so.
-No pressure!
287
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,640
OK! One victim.
288
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,880
My arm's gone numb
289
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,800
One murder weapon.
290
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,560
Imagine I'm inanimate.
291
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,920
But whodunnit? Did it.
292
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,960
Well,
if you look closely at all the evidence...
293
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,760
And eliminate the impossible...
294
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,560
-Oooow!
-Well, it wasn't suicide.
295
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,000
You should reach the
only logical conclusion.
296
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,120
Was it...
297
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,680
..me?
298
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,600
Can we go now?
299
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,920
Mess of Egg are on the
acoustic stage in ten minutes.
300
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,200
He's alive! Madam, you have wasted my time!
301
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,640
Oh, I like him.
302
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,040
Yet another box!
303
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,880
But what is beyond?
304
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,760
Is there a box beyond a box, beyond a box?
305
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,840
If only there were some way to... Oh!
306
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,360
The sky goes on forever.
307
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,840
Where are the walls?
308
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,880
Where is the lid?
309
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,600
Where does it end!?
310
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:33,640
Ah!
311
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,400
Safe in the box. Safe in the box.
312
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,640
Safe in the box.
313
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,680
Let's just pick one at random.
314
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,520
Any one of these guys could
do just as good a job as me.
315
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,200
Yeah, you see that's kind of the problem.
316
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,240
We need to think of some solutions.
317
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,880
Solar-powered paperclips!
318
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000
I mean - solutions to THIS problem.
319
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,800
And, can we do that back at the festival?
320
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,720
Because there is a lovely massage
321
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,360
which I'm currently very much not having.
322
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,400
Oi!
323
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,000
Who stole my drink?!
324
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,280
Cos it was full before.
325
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,720
-Was it you?
-No.
326
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,360
Was it you?
327
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,360
I'm a recovering alcoholic. I am so sorry.
328
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,280
It's OK, just...
329
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,240
It must've been you!
Let's take this outside!
330
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,560
-No, no.
-Bladder's too small.
331
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,640
What did you say?
332
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,680
His bladder is the size of a thimble...
333
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,760
It's true!
334
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,840
He would not be able to drink an
ale of that scale without several
335
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:39,960
toilet breaks.
336
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,800
So it cannot have been him.
337
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,680
So it could have been anyone else?
338
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,720
No, no, no.
339
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,720
There are only a handful of people
close enough to have pilfered
340
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,440
the beverage in the time he was away.
341
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,600
Go on.
342
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,880
These two are clearly wealthy
and have full tankards of ale.
343
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:54,920
No motive.
344
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,880
This woman is not drinking
because she is pregnant.
345
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,160
Who had the chop?
346
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,640
I did!
347
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,680
And this man has no arms.
348
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,160
Er... Which leaves only... HER!
349
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,040
But she said she didn't do it.
Yes. And I can explain that too...
350
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,200
She lied.
351
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,200
I'll pay for it.
352
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,880
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
353
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,320
We should get a sandwich.
354
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:36,920
Bing bong! Minions.
This is your 11 o'clock reminder.
355
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,760
Stay evil - OK?
356
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,880
--Eh?
-OK. -In other news Allan Kline passed away in the night.
357
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,960
His body will be fired into space on Tuesday,
no flowers.
358
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,080
Raffle tickets! If you want a raffle tick...
359
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,720
We have news, your darkness!
360
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,960
One of our spies has sighted Debbie
and is tracking her to The Festival!
361
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,040
Yes! Get in!
Well done you lot, this is textbook stuff.
362
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,160
Watch what happens now.
363
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,280
I'll send them all off to capture her,
bring her back here
364
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,480
and we'll take her before old Bossyboobs.
365
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,560
Boots, I meant BOOTS!
366
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,280
Um, don't write "boobs", please.
367
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,520
You don't have to write everything I say.
368
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,720
Would you please stop doing that!
369
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,120
Why are you still here?!
370
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,160
Can I have a raffle ticket? HE GROANS
371
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,120
Good evening, Yonderland, we're Blue!
CHEERING
372
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,600
The victim's dressing room
was restricted to very few,
373
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:38,720
so we are looking for someone
who had both access and motive.
374
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,600
Which leads me to you, Mad Donna.
375
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,720
What? Why would I?
376
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,840
Last year's poster. You have top billing.
377
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,600
This year's...
Bumped for Michael Jack's son.
378
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,680
That proves nothing!
379
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,760
Quite right. And no poison was
found in your dressing room...
380
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,040
Which leads me to think...
381
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,560
As I suspected... HE SNIFFS
382
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,880
Brasenic!
383
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,720
Here, you've earned this.
384
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,320
More than I ever did... Because I didn't.
385
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
386
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,960
I'd better get back.
387
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000
Elf?
388
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,200
You're very knotted.
389
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,240
Tell me about it.
390
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,160
Don't you just love a happy ending?
391
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,880
-There she is!
-Grab her!
392
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,240
And I don't know what you've
been writing in that eeny little
393
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,920
book of yours all day long.
394
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,840
But let me tell you this.
395
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:05,280
I may not play by the rules,
I may not tick all your little boxes.
396
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,040
But what matters is results.
397
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,840
And this result speaks for itself.
398
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,600
--Yeah.
-Uh-oh! -Uh-oh.
399
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,840
What? There's no law against it.
400
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,520
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
401
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,720
Now, I don't want to worry you...
402
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,720
Well, you're doing a great job.
403
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,760
We've got a rat!
404
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,200
Big one.
405
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:54,960
Don't worry.
406
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,360
It was too much too soon -
I won't be out of my box again in a hurry.
407
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,800
That'd be great.
Just concentrate on fixing that.
408
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,760
The message, whatever it is,
is message important.
409
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,440
There. I'll see you in the morning. Oh!
410
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,680
Oh! What a lovely cake.
411
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,960
Oh... BLEEP!
412
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,160
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413
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,200
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