Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,551
By car!
2
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:31,938
- Hello.
- Hello.
3
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,356
Good morning!
4
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,070
So you find
what does it look like to me?
5
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,905
Absolutely.
6
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,741
- Do I look that dumb?
- I'm afraid of it.
7
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:46,661
Let's see, Miss,
look at that nose!
8
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,497
It's yours.
I can not do anything about it.
9
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,791
Finally, on to me.
10
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,876
But then him.
11
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,171
You arranged it well.
12
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,840
But it's not his head,
it's not his skull.
13
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,842
Where I'm from, that's all!
14
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,387
His upper jaw
is not as prominent.
15
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,931
On the contrary,
that's what stands out the most.
16
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,350
- And the chin?
- Exactly his!
17
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,519
- Too accentuated!
- I see it like that.
18
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:14,230
And then understand, sir,
this is a cartoon...
19
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,232
and tell yourself that the goal
a drawing or a painting...
20
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,693
is not to reproduce
a vulgar photograph...
21
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,529
but to bring out
the characteristics of a fascia...
22
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:25,366
views according to the personality of the artist,
even exaggerating them.
23
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,118
Oh, nuts!
24
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:36,711
25
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,505
Well, baby, the name is Curtis.
26
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,466
- May I present Thomas B. Chambers.
- My name is Gilda Farrell.
27
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,136
- Coming back to the subject of art -
- Are you a painter?
28
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,971
- Yes.
- What did you say your name was?
29
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,181
- Curtis.
- George Curtis?
30
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,851
Yes.
31
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,064
You exhibited a painting
at the Shale Galleries.
32
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,691
- True.
- Let me see.
33
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,152
- Oh, Lady Godiva, wasn't it?
- Did you like it?
34
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,571
I saw it with a friend of mine.
She loved it.
35
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,656
We haven't spoken since.
36
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,915
I, uh -
37
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,085
I wouldn't consider her
one of your greatest admirers.
38
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,298
- Are you a painter too?
- Oh, no, no. Not me.
39
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,924
I'm a playwright.
40
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:27,344
I write unproduced plays.
And very good of that kind.
41
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,931
- Why didn't you like my picture?
- It's smart-aleck.
42
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,892
You're wisecracking with paint.
43
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,478
It simply creaks with originality.
44
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,232
Lady Godiva riding a bicycle!
45
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,111
I know what she means.
46
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:48,324
A bicycle seat is a little hard
on Lady Godiva's historical background.
47
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,742
Shut up!
48
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,079
I see.
49
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,289
Lady Godiva doesn't belong on a bicycle...
50
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,291
but it's okay to put Napoleon...
51
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:00,628
in a Kaplan and McGuire
non-wrinkling, 2.50 union suit.
52
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,880
Quite right.
That's not history.
53
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,050
And if I may say so, they, uh -
they do wrinkle.
54
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,802
I'm a commercial artist.
55
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:11,305
I'm being paid for telling the world
that if Napoleon were alive today...
56
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:15,643
he would wear Kaplan and McGuire's
2.50, non-wrinkling underwear.
57
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,269
Pure hooey.
58
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,981
You're wasting your time
painting for art galleries.
59
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,984
You should get in contact
with some bicycle manufacturer.
60
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,611
You'd clean up.
61
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,405
I'll give you a good slogan:
62
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,616
"Join Lady Godiva on our tandem."
63
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,704
Don't say "nuts."
Not to a lady.
64
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,593
- Hurry up, Gilda!
- Shake a leg!
65
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,432
It's amazing how a few insults
can bring people together in three hours.
66
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,685
It was certainly good to hear
all the names you called me.
67
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,104
I haven't heard 'em
since I left Father and Mother.
68
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,065
What we want to know is, do you like us
better than Kaplan and McGuire?
69
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,360
Let me tell you,
Curtis and Chambers deliver the goods.
70
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,906
En voiture!
71
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,535
En voiture!
72
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,981
- Max!
- Gilda! Darling!
73
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,984
I don't think it's Kaplan.
74
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,821
I doubt if it's McGuire.
75
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,991
And it's certainly not Napoleon.
76
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,557
- Take a letter!
- Yes, sir.
77
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,899
My dear Mr. Thomas B. Chambers.
78
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,442
Uh, cross that out.
79
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,069
Mr. Chambers.
80
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,862
Comma. Paragraph.
81
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:35,616
I am writing you in regard to
your undesirable attentions to Miss Gilda Farrell.
82
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,745
Hello. Yes.
83
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,747
No, no, no, that won't do at all.
84
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,291
I want the copy to read
exactly as I laid it out.
85
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:48,003
"The real aristocrat surrenders
to Murphy Hold 'Em Up Suspenders."
86
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,964
And put "Hold 'Em Up"
in a brighter color.
87
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,217
A-And listen, put that French touch
in the suspenders.
88
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,719
Where was I?
89
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:59,056
Undesirable attention to Miss Gilda Farrell.
90
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,937
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are wrong.
91
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:14,363
I'm afraid, Bassington,
that you are wr -
92
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,662
I'm afraid, Bassington...
93
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,747
that you are right...
94
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,710
but nonetheless boring.
95
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,505
Very good.
96
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,048
Very good.
97
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:37,511
Bassington curls his lips foolishly...
98
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,014
and crosses to left.
99
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,560
Bassington speaks:
100
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,819
There's only one thing
I have to say to you.
101
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,532
What could he say?
102
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,706
There's only one thing I have
to say to you.
103
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,791
Come in, come in.
104
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,172
There's only one thing
I have to say to you.
105
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,927
Ah, Plunkett, Incorporated!
106
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,013
Well, welcome to Bohemia, sir.
107
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,934
- How do you do?
- Why, I'm getting on, sir, in my modest way.
108
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,394
- And you?
- I'm well, thank you.
109
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,896
You're looking splendid.
110
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,566
That's a fetching tie, Mr. Plunkett.
And these spats - very exciting.
111
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,318
What an ensemble, hmm?
112
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,695
But personally, I don't like derbies.
113
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,947
They give a man that undertaker look.
114
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,950
My dear Mr. Chambers, I have come here
to speak to you man to man.
115
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,952
My favorite type of conversation.
116
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,288
I wish to broach
a rather delicate subject.
117
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:50,584
Oh, now, don't let's be delicate, Mr. Plunkett.
Let's be crude and objectionable, both of us.
118
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,921
One of the greatest handicaps to civilization,
and I may say to progress...
119
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:57,132
is the fact that people speak
with ribbons on their tongues.
120
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,635
Delicacy,
as the philosophers point out...
121
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,097
is the, uh, banana peel
under the feet of truth.
122
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:07,142
And, uh, if you've come up here
to raise a fuss about Gilda...
123
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,021
this derby is a thing of the past.
124
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,773
Mr. Chambers, I -
125
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,652
Mr. Chambers, I don't wish you
to misunderstand me.
126
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:21,073
I am not Miss Farrell's husband,
nor her fianc� in any shape, form or manner.
127
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,075
Hmm. I see.
Her devoted friend.
128
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,077
- Yes. For five years.
- Mm-hmm.
129
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,413
- Her guide, I take it, and counselor.
- Yes.
130
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,914
- Her protector.
- Exactly.
131
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:33,001
Mm-hmm. In other words, Mr. Plunkett,
you, uh - you never got to first base.
132
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,545
Yes -
133
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,297
- I'll overlook that insult.
- Thank you.
134
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,049
Will you be seated?
135
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,892
Mr. Chambers, your attentions to Gilda
are undesirable.
136
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,645
- Has she been complaining?
- No.
137
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,814
Well, good, good.
I'm very busy, Mr. Plunkett.
138
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,899
I, uh - I'm creating.
139
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,281
Mr. Chambers, there's only one thing
I have to say to you.
140
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,826
- Do you know what it is?
- Yes.
141
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,703
Immorality may be fun...
142
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:12,916
but it isn't fun enough to take the place
of 100% virtue and three square meals a day.
143
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,918
Now, wait a minute.
144
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,837
Immorality may be fun -
145
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,714
But it isn't fun enough
to take the place -
146
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,342
- Of 100% virtue -
- And three square meals a day.
147
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,677
- Superb!
- Furthermore -
148
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,929
Ah-ah! Not another word!
Th-That's a curtain.
149
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,599
Three square meals a day...
150
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,144
and Bassington exits.
151
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,562
Mr. Chambers -
152
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,148
Listen to me,
Plunkett, Incorporated.
153
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,569
I'm in love with Gilda. I adore her.
I'm quite insane about her.
154
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,661
I love you, Gilda.
155
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,623
Oh, that's sweet to hear.
156
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,168
Gilda, sometimes I wonder
what I see in you.
157
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,254
You don't appreciate me,
and you know nothing about art.
158
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,217
Maybe you love me
because I'm an imbecile.
159
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,719
It must be something like that.
160
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,015
I really love you.
161
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,142
I'm amazed at myself.
162
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,561
It's sincere.
That's what gets my goat.
163
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,565
Gilda.
164
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,198
I'm very fond of you.
165
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,451
Oh. You're fond of me, huh?
166
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,453
Mm-hmm.
167
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,163
I don't like that.
168
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,961
I know what's the trouble.
169
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,672
I swear I'll break his neck!
170
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:48,929
Gilda, you're mine! Tell him to get out of your life
and stay out or I'll cut him to bits!
171
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,765
- Who?
- That pal of yours, Max Plunkett.
172
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,225
Oh.
173
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,519
Well, what's the verdict?
174
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,312
Are you jealous?
175
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,274
No. No, I'm not jealous.
176
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,776
The whole point is
that I just don't want any competition.
177
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,488
It belittles me in my own eyes.
It - It interferes with my work.
178
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,199
I - I can't paint when I'm worried.
179
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,951
All right. I'll tell Max.
180
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,744
See that you do. Understand?
181
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,871
Yes, sir.
182
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,456
Gilda.
183
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,713
Now please go.
I'll see you tomorrow.
184
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,638
Tomorrow my life begins!
185
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,145
- Hello, Mr. Plunkett.
- Hello.
186
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,063
Oh! Mr. Curtis.
187
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,070
- How are you?
- I'm well, thank you.
188
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,489
- Good night, Mr. Plunkett.
- Uh, just a minute.
189
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,700
What are you doing here?
190
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,537
- At the moment I am leaving.
- I mean, you've seen Miss Farrell?
191
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,372
Yes, I've seen Gilda.
192
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,207
- Well!
- She's expecting you.
193
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,209
She has some news for you.
194
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,339
Mr. Curtis, I wish to, uh, broach
a rather delicate matter.
195
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,007
It concerns Gilda.
196
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:09,843
Sit down.
197
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,388
Shoot!
198
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,432
Mr. Curtis...
199
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,602
what is your annual income,
in round figures?
200
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:23,315
In round figures... zero.
201
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,401
- May I ask what you live on?
- Nothing.
202
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,279
I survive by miracles.
203
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:33,617
Mr. Curtis, I must ask you man to man
to discontinue your attentions to Gilda.
204
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,954
Now you're making very
unbecoming faces, Mr. Plunkett.
205
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,623
- She doesn't need you.
- Guess again!
206
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,292
Mr. Curtis, there's only one thing
I have to say to you.
207
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:46,088
Immorality may be fun, but it isn't fun enough
to take the place of 100% virtue...
208
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,548
and three square meals a day.
209
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,092
So!
210
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,553
This is the way you talk to a man
who wears Kaplan and McGuire union suits.
211
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:57,182
Mr. Plunkett, I shall report you
to your clients immediately.
212
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,767
Good night, sir.
213
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,025
- Yesterday it was Tom.
- Yes?
214
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,778
- Today it's George.
- Yes?
215
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,363
Okay.
216
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,907
Hoodlums.
217
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,203
Artistic bums.
218
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,164
Both of 'em put together
aren't worth a dime.
219
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,750
Gilda, no one knows better than you
how unselfish I've been...
220
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,836
in all matters pertaining to you.
221
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,005
- You've been nice.
- I've been marvelous.
222
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,216
No, just nice.
223
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,218
Gilda, I've been your friend
for five years -
224
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,806
And I want you to remain my friend
for the next 50 years, so please shut up.
225
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,315
Max, have you ever been in love?
226
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,109
This is no time to answer that.
227
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,445
Have you ever felt
your brain catch fire...
228
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:55,824
and a curious, dreadful thing
go right through your body...
229
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,119
down, down to your very toes...
230
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,496
and leave you with your ears ringing?
231
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,001
That's abnormal.
232
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,128
Well, that's how I felt
just before you came in.
233
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:11,131
Yes? How'd you feel yesterday
after your promenade with Tom?
234
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,799
Just the opposite.
235
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:17,888
It started in my very toes
and came up, up, up very slowly...
236
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,015
until my brain caught fire.
237
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,434
But the ringing in the ears
was the same.
238
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:27,856
Hello.
239
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,441
Hello.
240
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,239
Did you go for the laundry?
241
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,408
Hardly.
242
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,577
Why not?
243
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,579
Two cans of sardines, five francs.
244
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,999
Madame Poperino, blackmail,
seven francs 50.
245
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,251
- No laundry.
- That's fine.
246
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,171
I haven't got a clean shirt
to my name.
247
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,423
Clean shirt?
248
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:55,008
What's up, a romance?
249
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,761
I'm not talking about pajamas.
250
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,222
I'm talking about a clean shirt.
251
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,308
I don't want to go around
looking like a rag picker.
252
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:07,395
I'm talking about a white shirt,
a shirt without a spot, without any holes...
253
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,273
that won't fall apart
when you unbutton your coat.
254
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,076
How old is the laundress?
255
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,744
Oh, she's about 45.
256
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,913
A young 45?
257
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,706
Oh, I don't know.
258
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,583
She goes barefoot.
259
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,128
She's, uh, rather plump,
a little soapy...
260
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,381
but a very interesting mustache.
261
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,967
Very charming, very charming.
Not my type.
262
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:42,347
Mustache or no mustache,
I need a clean shirt for tomorrow.
263
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,321
End of Act One.
264
00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,656
Curtain.
265
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,575
Don't read it.
I know it by heart.
266
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:04,953
You remember where Bassington has found out
that Edgar was the man on the fire escape?
267
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,330
- All right, shoot!
- "There's a pause.
268
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,749
- Edgar smiles maddeningly."
- Go on, go on!
269
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,044
"Bassington plays with his beard
in order to cover his emotion.
270
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,504
Edgar speaks.
271
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:19,092
'I'm afraid, Bassington, that you are right,
but nonetheless boring.'
272
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,971
Bassington studies his fingernails
like a man of the world, crosses to left.
273
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,181
Edgar continues strumming his mandolin.
274
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,392
Bassington, resuming with his beard -
275
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:30,520
'I have only one thing to say to you.
276
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:32,564
Immortality may be fun...
277
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:37,027
but it's not fun enough
to take the place of 100% virtue...
278
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,946
and three square meals a day."'
279
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,745
What's the matter?
280
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:50,540
- So! Double-crossing me, huh?
- What are you buzzing about?
281
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,251
You didn't write that speech alone,
and I know where you got it!
282
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:56,338
- Well, if you think -
- And don't try to lie out of it!
283
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,798
He was in here - Mr. Plunkett.
284
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,885
And it isn't difficult
to guess why he was here either.
285
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,846
So you've been making love to Gilda.
286
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,264
- Now, listen, if you -
- I know!
287
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:09,351
"100% virtue
and three square meals a day!"
288
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,689
Wait a minute.
289
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,401
So you've heard that speech before!
290
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:23,073
Where did you hear that speech before?
291
00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,824
Oh, I see.
292
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,493
Clean shirt, eh?
293
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:29,913
- So he caught you with Gilda.
- It's a lie! He didn't catch me.
294
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:33,249
Very pretty work.
True blue George.
295
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:37,170
Look who's talking about true blue!
I oughta bust you right in that ugly pan of yours!
296
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,422
Let's behave like civilized people.
297
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,424
It's quite apparent beyond any question...
298
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,427
that you behaved in this matter
as a rather common, ordinary rat.
299
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,929
I'm leaving.
300
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,399
Where's my suitcase?
301
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,651
Or have you sold it to somebody?
302
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:08,535
This is a little silly,
after 11 years of friendship.
303
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,620
You should have
considered that earlier!
304
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,846
Do you mind a personal question?
305
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,514
Not at all.
306
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,516
Are you pretty hard hit?
307
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,144
That's none of your business.
308
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,563
- And you?
- Likewise.
309
00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:45,155
What a pity we had to fall in love
with the same girl.
310
00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:51,828
Charming, isn't she?
311
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,663
Rather.
312
00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:55,165
Nice eyes.
313
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:56,750
Of a sort.
314
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:01,129
Well, I guess we're through.
315
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,214
Looks like it.
316
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,384
Curious to have a little bit of feminine fluff
breaking up our friendship.
317
00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:08,595
Sad.
318
00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:10,346
Quite a dilemma.
319
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,142
I wonder if she's worth it.
320
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,102
I wonder.
321
00:23:16,187 --> 00:23:17,645
In fact, I doubt it.
322
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,273
There's only one thing we know about her -
she's full of deceit.
323
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:23,234
- She's trying to hang it on both of us.
- We shouldn't let her get away with it.
324
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,236
- She's a troublemaker.
- We ought to put our foot down.
325
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,238
You're right.
We oughtn't to let her break it up.
326
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,949
I've been listening to these
half-witted dramas of yours for 11 years!
327
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,202
Yes, and I've grown cockeyed looking
at those humpty-dumpty pictures of yours.
328
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:35,121
And we should give up all this on account of
some girl we met on a train?
329
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:36,414
- Third class!
- No woman's worth it.
330
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,208
Absolutely not.
331
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,464
No more clean shirts?
332
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:46,758
- We ignore her, 50-50.
- Fine.
333
00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,805
- Sacrifice helps an artist.
- Exactly!
334
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:54,557
The sorrows of life
are the joys of art.
335
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:57,560
- I don't think we ought to discuss her anymore.
- Right.
336
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:02,398
If, uh, the occasion arises
which requires our mentioning her at all...
337
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:05,401
we'll refer to her
as, uh, Miss Farrell.
338
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:08,404
- It'll make the whole thing more impersonal.
- Exactly.
339
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:12,992
Hey, George,
did you really sell my suitcase?
340
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:17,247
Yeah.
341
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:18,331
Okay.
342
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:21,584
Monsieur Chambers
ou Monsieur Curtis. Au t�l�phone!
343
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,337
Telephone?
344
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:29,342
Well, um - Oh.
Answer it if you wish.
345
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:32,053
Go ahead.
I trust you.
346
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:33,638
Oh, thanks.
347
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:43,606
- Merci beaucoup.
- De rien.
348
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:45,150
Hello?
349
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,609
Yes?
350
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:49,946
Well, uh, just a second.
351
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,908
It's, uh - It's Miss Farrell.
352
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,371
What do you want, Gilda?
353
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,123
I beg your pardon.
354
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:03,501
I see.
355
00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:05,378
I-I see.
356
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:07,964
Well, just a second, please.
357
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:12,385
- She wants to come up tomorrow.
- Tell her absolutely no.
358
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,554
Okay.
359
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:16,931
Uh, well -
360
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,100
Uh, well, hold the wire.
361
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,223
Miss Farrell's a little late.
362
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:42,809
It hardly matters.
363
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,937
I think we ought to be polite.
364
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:51,359
I'm going to assume
a very nonchalant attitude.
365
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,741
Don't forget. Nonchalant.
366
00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:06,541
Vous �tes bien Monsieur Curtis
et Monsieur Chambers?
367
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:08,459
Oui.
368
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,212
Je les ai trouv�s.
Ils habitent ici.
369
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,923
- Au cinqui�me.
- Merci bien.
370
00:27:33,027 --> 00:27:38,406
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
371
00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,576
How do you do?
372
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:46,140
Tommy, you're such a child.
373
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:18,923
I'm so nervous.
374
00:29:20,008 --> 00:29:23,678
Couldn't we all be
a little bit more nonchalant?
375
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,726
I came here to make a confession -
376
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:34,272
a confession hard to make
at 11:00 in the morning.
377
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,028
George.
378
00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:42,530
Yes, please?
379
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:45,992
Sit down here.
380
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,952
Well -
381
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:55,376
- Shall I leave the room?
- No, please!
382
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:59,505
George. Dear George.
383
00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:03,676
When I let you make love to me yesterday,
I didn't tell you something.
384
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,305
I didn't tell you that the day before,
Tom and I had -
385
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:11,809
Did he tell you?
386
00:30:11,894 --> 00:30:13,519
No.
387
00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:16,564
- Thank you, Tommy.
- You're very welcome.
388
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,734
George, promise me
you won't start smashing furniture.
389
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,696
I'm more than fond of Tommy.
390
00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,742
- I'm sorry, old man.
- Quite all right.
391
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,785
- Thank you.
- Okay!
392
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:34,123
But -
393
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:39,378
Tom, when we were in the park -
Do you remember?
394
00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:42,048
- Very well.
- I didn't tell you.
395
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:46,135
That morning I made a date with George
for the next evening in my house...
396
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:48,221
and I didn't call it off.
397
00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:50,890
- And I want to be truthful. I -
- Oh, I see.
398
00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:53,809
In other words,
you're very fond of George.
399
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,353
More than fond.
400
00:30:58,732 --> 00:31:03,402
A thing happened to me
that usually happens to men.
401
00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:08,908
You see, a man can meet two,
three, or even four women...
402
00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:10,910
and fall in love with all of them...
403
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:14,580
and then, by a process of, uh,
interesting elimination...
404
00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:17,333
he's able to decide
which one he prefers.
405
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:22,630
But a woman must decide purely on instinct,
guesswork, if she wants to be considered nice.
406
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,008
Oh, it's quite all right for her to try on
a hundred hats before she picks one out, but -
407
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:29,011
Very fine. But which chapeau
do you want, madam?
408
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,685
Both.
409
00:31:37,187 --> 00:31:40,940
You see, George, you're sort of like
a ragged straw hat...
410
00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:43,651
with a very soft lining.
411
00:31:44,695 --> 00:31:46,612
A little bit out of shape...
412
00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:49,031
very dashing to look at...
413
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:52,201
and very comfortable to wear.
414
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,329
And you, Tom.
415
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:59,000
Chic, piquant, perched over one eye...
416
00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:02,169
and has to be watched on
windy days.
417
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,550
And both so becoming.
418
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:09,677
Ohh!
419
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:15,057
Oh, I'm the most unhappy woman
in the world!
420
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:17,977
Poor girl.
She's in rather a tough spot.
421
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,895
Mm-hmm.
422
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,356
George.
423
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:26,319
Dear George, there's no use pretending
you could make me forget Tom.
424
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,821
- I'd miss him.
- You would not.
425
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,407
But for the sake of argument, okay.
426
00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:35,328
And, Tom, if I went with you
up hill and down dale...
427
00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:38,247
he would haunt me
like a bogeyman.
428
00:32:38,332 --> 00:32:41,250
It's a pitiful situation.
429
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:45,129
Well, if it'll make you happy,
I'm willing to step out.
430
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:49,717
Never mind the grandstand gesture!
I know how you'd step out - with a club.
431
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:53,512
On the other hand, if you feel
that you can't get along without her...
432
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,806
it wouldn't be the first sacrifice
I've made for you.
433
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,184
What sacrifice?
What have you ever done for me?
434
00:32:58,268 --> 00:32:59,935
Look who's talking! Little Rollo!
435
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,855
Why, you're the most self-centered,
egotistical, double-crosser I ever knew!
436
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,691
- Now, listen, if I -
- Shh! There you have it.
437
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:09,612
You hate him, he hates you,
and you both end up by hating me.
438
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:13,491
Boys, let's sit down.
439
00:33:19,373 --> 00:33:23,584
Now let's talk it over from every angle
without any excitement...
440
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,128
like a disarmament conference.
441
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:41,769
Bonsoir, messieurs. Qu'est-ce que
ces messieurs d�sirent pour d�ner?
442
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,354
Le pain de veau est d�licieux.
443
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:47,066
Les c�telettes de mouton sont fra�chement cuites,
et les pieds de cochon sont merveilleux.
444
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,984
Merveilleux!
445
00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:50,778
Tr�s piquants!
446
00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:52,655
Uh, trois frankfurters.
447
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:54,865
Ah, bon.
Tr�s bien, messieurs, tout de suite.
448
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:01,914
Well? What do you think?
449
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:04,667
I think it can be worked out,
providing -
450
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:06,669
Yes, you're right.
451
00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:08,504
"Providing."
452
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,715
- Voila, messieurs.
- Merci.
453
00:34:10,799 --> 00:34:12,425
Merci bien, messieurs.
454
00:34:21,435 --> 00:34:24,353
Well, boys, it's the only thing we can do.
Let's forget sex.
455
00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:26,605
Okay. Agreed.
456
00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,358
- It may be a bit difficult in the beginning.
- But it can be worked out.
457
00:34:29,443 --> 00:34:31,694
- Oh, it'll be grand!
- Save lots of time.
458
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,821
And confusion.
459
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,823
We're going to concentrate on work.
460
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,825
Your work.
My work doesn't count.
461
00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:40,828
I think both you boys have
a great deal of talent, but too much ego.
462
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,331
You spend one day working
and a whole month bragging.
463
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:48,043
Gentlemen, there are
going to be a few changes.
464
00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:50,546
I'm going to jump up and down
on your ego.
465
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,965
I'm going to criticize your work
with a baseball bat.
466
00:34:53,049 --> 00:34:55,926
I'm going to tell you every day how bad
your stuff is until you get something good...
467
00:34:56,011 --> 00:35:00,306
and if it's good, I'm going to tell you
it's rotten till you get something better.
468
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:03,934
I'm going to be a mother of the arts.
469
00:35:24,331 --> 00:35:25,581
No sex.
470
00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:26,999
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, no.
471
00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:32,213
It's a gentleman's agreement.
472
00:35:52,526 --> 00:35:54,276
Rotten, eh?
473
00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:57,029
Listen, my dear girl, when it comes to
playwriting, you don't know your -
474
00:35:58,031 --> 00:36:00,449
your dear little elbow
from a barrel of flour.
475
00:36:00,534 --> 00:36:02,952
The third act is marvelous.
I've never written anything better.
476
00:36:03,036 --> 00:36:05,079
It's rotten.
477
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,374
Fortunately, I know that intellectually
you're still in rompers.
478
00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:13,546
You should have realized by now, my dear,
that I hate stupidity masquerading as criticism.
479
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,256
Rotten.
480
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:18,217
So I've had enough of that.
You're ruining me. You're ruining my work.
481
00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:20,636
You're just being cheap and malicious.
482
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,179
Rotten.
483
00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:25,599
Very well. It's the last time
you're going to tell me that.
484
00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:28,477
Good-bye, my dear.
485
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,239
- It was a complete flop in London.
- I'm sorry, but I don't ag -
486
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:44,243
- I beg your pardon.
- Forgive me for entering unannounced.
487
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:47,496
- Mr. Douglas is very busy.
- So they were kind enough to tell me downstairs.
488
00:36:47,581 --> 00:36:48,831
- Mr. Douglas?
- Yes?
489
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:51,542
Mr. Douglas, I consider you
the greatest theatrical producer in London.
490
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,210
- I -
- In fact, in the world.
491
00:36:53,295 --> 00:36:55,629
My dear young lady,
what precisely do you want?
492
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,882
Well, I've read your list of productions
for the next London season.
493
00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,592
- Yes?
- They're very bad.
494
00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:01,760
But believe me,
there's no need for you to despair.
495
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:04,555
The situation isn't entirely black,
Mr. Douglas.
496
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:06,682
Have you ever heard of a playwright
called Thomas Chambers?
497
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:07,850
No, never!
498
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,894
You've never read a play called
Good Night, Bassington?
499
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:11,270
Heavens, no! Never!
500
00:37:11,354 --> 00:37:16,108
Well, here it is. Read it.
I'm sure you'll adore it.
501
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:18,193
It's a woman's play.
502
00:37:19,321 --> 00:37:20,946
Good-bye.
503
00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:34,793
Those faking art dealers!
504
00:37:34,878 --> 00:37:37,004
Peanut brains! Parasites!
505
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:42,384
- Maybe he's right. Maybe they are -
- No, they are not!
506
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:44,637
- I don't know, Gilda.
- Well, I know. Those paintings are great.
507
00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:47,097
- And don't let anybody tell you they aren't.
- Three of them have.
508
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,601
Well, they're all fools. They'll be breaking
their necks to get hold of your work.
509
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,353
- Maybe when I'm dead.
- Stop it!
510
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,355
If you can't believe in yourself,
believe in me.
511
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:56,482
I'm no good.
It's getting obvious.
512
00:37:56,566 --> 00:38:01,570
George, you're a fine painter. You're an artist.
You're going to be one of the great ones.
513
00:38:01,655 --> 00:38:05,783
And if you lie down in the
middle of the road, I'll hate you!
514
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:12,498
Well, friends...
515
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:14,500
the gentleman addressing you...
516
00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:18,671
is none other than the illustrious
Mr. Thomas B. Chambers...
517
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:22,216
the new dramatic thunderbolt
of the London theater.
518
00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:25,844
Good Night, Bassington...
519
00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:27,554
has been accepted.
520
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,723
- You don't mean it!
- Did you sign the contract?
521
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,350
In letters of fire.
522
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,395
One hundred pounds advance.
523
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:40,109
It's colossal!
524
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:41,944
- The Bank of England.
- Uh-huh.
525
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:44,446
- That's a good bank, huh?
- It's the best!
526
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,041
By the way, Gilda, I, uh -
527
00:38:56,126 --> 00:38:57,918
I neglected to mention...
528
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:01,005
I'm supposed to go to London.
529
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,800
- To London?
- Tonight.
530
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:08,804
Uh, Mr. Douglas seems to think that
I might be of great help during rehearsals.
531
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:13,350
You know, half the play
depends on someone -
532
00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:16,437
Bringing out its brittle quality.
Oh, yes.
533
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:20,691
What do you think?
Should I go?
534
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:24,194
Oh, well, you could do a lot in London,
no doubt about that.
535
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,739
And it would help the publicity,
of course.
536
00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:29,867
But on the other hand if you stayed here,
you could finish your new play.
537
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:33,037
And yet you might make some
valuable connections in London.
538
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:36,749
But I'm just wondering if you could do
as good work in the midst of all that hullabaloo...
539
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:39,001
as you could if you stayed here.
540
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:43,005
- Oh, well, Tom, I -
- Aw, Gilda.
541
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:47,885
I couldn't do good work anywhere
without you, and you know it.
542
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:53,515
And if there should be any curtain calls after
that third act, how could I take the bows alone?
543
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,226
You're nice, Tom.
544
00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:57,978
I'm not going.
545
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:05,360
Well, drop me a line from London,
old boy, will you?
546
00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:07,112
- Righto!
- Right!
547
00:40:07,197 --> 00:40:09,448
Step a little more forward,
Mr. Chambers.
548
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:11,784
That's it.
Smile, please.
549
00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:14,453
- Take off your hat, Mr. Douglas.
- Oh!
550
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,205
That's it.
Hold it!
551
00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:24,171
Well, in five weeks
you'll be taking the same train...
552
00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:26,799
and the three of us'll sit
in the royal box at the opening.
553
00:40:26,883 --> 00:40:28,550
En voiture!
554
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,803
En voiture!
555
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:33,555
- Good-bye, boy.
- Good-bye, pal.
556
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,224
Good-bye, Gilda.
557
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:38,352
Keep that old typewriter of mine
booted and spurred.
558
00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:40,896
I will.
559
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:42,314
So long.
560
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,153
You've had enough today.
561
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:30,863
Please.
562
00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:32,447
Okay, teacher.
563
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:01,560
I'll have to sew a button on there.
564
00:42:03,897 --> 00:42:05,564
Gilda...
565
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,567
I'm a pretty gloomy guy tonight.
566
00:42:08,651 --> 00:42:11,403
I have an idea I'm going to be
rather bad company.
567
00:42:11,487 --> 00:42:12,905
Why don't you -
568
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:16,074
Why don't you go out
to a movie or something?
569
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:18,869
Tarzan is playing
at the Adelphia Theatre.
570
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,831
Go on, like a good girl.
571
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,920
Everything seems different,
doesn't it?
572
00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:32,674
You'd better go, Gilda, to Tarzan.
573
00:42:35,929 --> 00:42:38,555
I fancy this, uh -
574
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,475
what you might call tension...
575
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,560
would keep up for some weeks.
576
00:42:45,438 --> 00:42:48,899
Wouldn't it be wiser
if I moved to a hotel?
577
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,692
Yes, ma'am.
578
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:13,382
I love you, Gilda.
Why lie about it?
579
00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:16,635
You can't change love
by shaking hands with somebody.
580
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,930
We're unreal, the three of us,
trying to play jokes on nature.
581
00:43:21,683 --> 00:43:23,267
This is real.
582
00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:32,651
A million times more honest
than all the art in the world.
583
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:47,708
I love you.
584
00:43:58,011 --> 00:44:00,846
It's true we have
a gentleman's agreement...
585
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:05,642
but unfortunately
I am no gentleman.
586
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,315
My dearest Gilda
and dear George.
587
00:44:13,776 --> 00:44:16,320
This is the first letter
I've ever dictated...
588
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:19,906
so kindly overlook its correct spelling
and perfect punctuation.
589
00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:23,368
An honest heart still beats beneath.
590
00:44:24,454 --> 00:44:27,122
Exclamation point,
dash, paragraph.
591
00:44:28,124 --> 00:44:30,584
Well, pals,
you'll be interested to know...
592
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:34,671
that all London is agog
with my wit and charm.
593
00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:36,673
Underline "charm."
594
00:44:36,758 --> 00:44:38,550
Period.
595
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:42,846
Lady Upterdyke,
weight 203 ringside...
596
00:44:45,475 --> 00:44:50,395
has smuggled me into
her cage of trained social lions.
597
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,773
Here I am on exhibition nightly...
598
00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:56,818
up to my neck in duchesses.
599
00:44:56,903 --> 00:44:58,987
Period.
600
00:44:59,072 --> 00:45:01,907
The play, by the way,
is in its second week of rehearsals...
601
00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,492
and looks hotsy-totsy.
602
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:08,246
I beg your pardon, sir.
"Hotsy-totsy"?
603
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:09,956
Yes, hotsy-totsy.
604
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:14,878
And yet, dear friends,
these triumphs leave me sad.
605
00:45:15,671 --> 00:45:17,964
In the midst
of all this pomp and glitter...
606
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:20,050
I always remember
that our play was written...
607
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:23,178
on that old
Remington Number 2 typewriter...
608
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:26,431
and on a never-to-be-forgotten
diet of frankfurters.
609
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:29,643
Sir?
610
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,103
Hmm.
611
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:33,522
My heart is in the highlands of Montmartre.
612
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:37,692
And the - Come in. And the night
finds me pale and thoughtful, waiting -
613
00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:41,279
And the night finds me
pale and thoughtful...
614
00:45:41,364 --> 00:45:43,949
waiting for the end of my exile
when the three of us...
615
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,910
Athos, Porthos
and Mademoiselle d'Artagnan...
616
00:45:46,994 --> 00:45:49,746
will sit in the royal box at the opening -
617
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,274
Start the letter over.
618
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:22,654
Dear George and Gilda:
619
00:46:25,575 --> 00:46:27,075
Good luck.
620
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:33,248
As ever, Tom.
621
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:54,478
- Good evening, Mr. Chambers.
- Good evening. Good evening.
622
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,937
- Good evening, Mr. Chambers.
- Good evening.
623
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:57,397
- How's the house tonight?
- Completely sold out.
624
00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:58,648
- Advance sale?
- Colossal!
625
00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:00,025
- Audience behaving?
- Angelic.
626
00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:01,276
- Applauding?
- Terrific.
627
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,527
Thanks.
628
00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:05,113
- How are the programs selling tonight?
- Enormous!
629
00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,872
- Busy?
- Tremendous.
630
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:16,416
And what were you doing
on the fire escape?
631
00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:20,003
Cooling off.
632
00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:43,485
And what was your mandolin
doing in my bed?
633
00:47:43,569 --> 00:47:46,238
I must ask you to leave
my mandolin out of this.
634
00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:57,916
Edgar, I have only one thing to say to you.
635
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,918
Immorality may be fun,
but not fun enough...
636
00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:03,755
to take the place of 100% virtue
and three square meals a day!
637
00:48:22,441 --> 00:48:26,528
- That's the funniest show, I think. Don't you?
- You like that actor?
638
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:29,114
I really enjoyed that show very much.
639
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:37,038
- How do you do, Mr. Plunkett?
- How do you do?
640
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,708
- Oh, Mr. Chambers!
- Yes?
641
00:48:39,792 --> 00:48:41,459
Well, hello.
642
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,212
That's a very funny play
you've got in there, in spots.
643
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:46,673
Thank you. Thank you.
How - How's Paris?
644
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:49,718
Oh, great. Fine.
Advertising going bigger than ever.
645
00:48:49,802 --> 00:48:52,429
- The French are getting billboard crazy.
- I see. Hmm.
646
00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:54,806
And how - how's Paris otherwise?
647
00:48:54,890 --> 00:48:57,976
- Oh, you don't know what happened.
- No. What? What?
648
00:48:58,060 --> 00:49:00,478
Well, it's, uh, quite a story.
649
00:49:00,563 --> 00:49:04,816
The, uh, French government objected
to showing Napoleon in union suits.
650
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,694
Well, I was up against it for a while,
but I changed it...
651
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,321
to Julius Caesar.
652
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,823
I'll tell you something -
outsold Napoleon 2-to-1.
653
00:49:11,907 --> 00:49:13,617
- Hmm.
- Just goes to show.
654
00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:15,160
Mm-hmm.
655
00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:17,996
Anything - Anything else going on in Paris?
656
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,499
Mmm, no. No.
657
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:25,086
Well, I'm glad I ran into you.
Yes. Pretty good play for the money.
658
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:29,966
Oh, Mr. Chambers. I almost forgot.
Best regards from George and Gilda.
659
00:49:30,051 --> 00:49:31,843
Oh, thanks, thanks.
How is George?
660
00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:33,386
We're friends.
661
00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:37,098
As you know, at first I was inclined
to withhold my approval of the whole thing...
662
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:39,392
but you know how much I like Gilda.
663
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:43,897
It's true I didn't get to first base,
but lots of other people didn't either.
664
00:49:43,981 --> 00:49:46,066
Yeah.
665
00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:48,985
Uh, is George, uh - Is George
getting - getting along nicely?
666
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:52,155
Oh, great, great.
He painted me. A portrait, from here up.
667
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,867
- Hmm.
- That put him over in the art world. Yes, sir.
668
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:58,328
And, uh, how - how is Gilda?
669
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:03,375
Fine. When they first broached the project of
painting me, I put my foot down, but Gilda -
670
00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:05,377
- How-How is she?
- Fine.
671
00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:08,088
Turned out to be a great painting.
It's a masterpiece.
672
00:50:08,172 --> 00:50:11,299
Looks exactly like me.
It's called "Man With Derby."
673
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:12,884
- Mmm.
- Yes, sir.
674
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:15,762
French museum bought it.
Snapped it right up.
675
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,931
I'm hanging on exhibition
on the south wall.
676
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:19,933
- Hmm!
- Attracts lots of people.
677
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,810
Yes, sir.
678
00:50:21,894 --> 00:50:24,646
Is, uh - Is Gilda happy? Is she -
679
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:27,399
Oh, she's just crazy about that painting.
680
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:32,195
Well, I'm glad I ran into you.
I don't want to miss this last act. Yes.
681
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:43,581
My things, please.
682
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:45,583
Terrific tonight, isn't it?
683
00:50:46,669 --> 00:50:48,336
Rather.
684
00:51:21,704 --> 00:51:23,288
Excusez-moi.
685
00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:25,039
C'est bien chez Monsieur Curtis?
686
00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:27,333
Non. Monsieur Curtis a d�m�nag�.
687
00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:31,171
Il demeure cent quinze
rue de la Faisanderie.
688
00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:33,673
- Merci bien.
- Il n'y a pas de quoi, monsieur.
689
00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:48,313
Pourrais-je parler � Monsieur Curtis?
690
00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:51,149
- You want to talk to Mr. Curtis, don't you?
- Yes.
691
00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:54,068
Well, I'm sorry,
but Mr. Curtis is not at home.
692
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:56,070
Oh. What time do you expect him back?
693
00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,156
Well, Mr. Curtis is out of town.
694
00:51:58,240 --> 00:51:59,532
That's too bad.
695
00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:02,076
- Something important?
- Rather.
696
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:04,662
Well, I'll let you talk to his secretary.
697
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,706
To his, uh, secretary?
698
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:09,209
Yes, to his secretary. Please.
699
00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:20,280
Hello.
700
00:53:22,616 --> 00:53:24,826
- Mr. Curtis's secretary?
- The same.
701
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,453
My card.
702
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:31,708
"Thomas B. Chambers,
London's leading playwright...
703
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:34,419
and foremost wit."
704
00:53:34,503 --> 00:53:36,546
Oh, come on.
It doesn't say that.
705
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:38,298
It should.
706
00:53:38,382 --> 00:53:40,717
- Hello, you old vampire, you!
- You hooligan!
707
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:43,553
- You Benedict Arnold!
- You -
708
00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:45,346
Shall we be seated?
709
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,233
- Mmm! Like your suit.
- Oh, thanks very much.
710
00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,363
I'm sorry George isn't here.
711
00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:05,074
He's in Nice.
He's painting a Mrs. Butterfield.
712
00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:06,451
Really?
713
00:54:06,535 --> 00:54:09,203
A rotund but noble creature
from Des Moines.
714
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:12,373
- Mmm. Des Moines, lowa.
- Yes.
715
00:54:14,543 --> 00:54:16,502
Oh, it's so good to see you.
716
00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:18,755
Is it?
717
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:27,180
- I've so much to -
- To tell me.
718
00:54:29,058 --> 00:54:30,683
Yes.
719
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:32,560
I can imagine.
720
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:49,494
Oh, Tommy, if you've forgiven George,
why not me?
721
00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:51,913
- We did the same thing.
- Not at all.
722
00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:54,832
George betrayed me for you.
723
00:54:56,627 --> 00:54:59,587
Without wishing to flatter you,
I understood that.
724
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,094
I can still understand it.
725
00:55:08,764 --> 00:55:11,182
But you betrayed me for George.
726
00:55:13,102 --> 00:55:15,061
An incredible choice.
727
00:55:19,441 --> 00:55:20,942
Tommy.
728
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:36,332
You didn't keep it oiled.
729
00:55:38,127 --> 00:55:39,877
I did for a while.
730
00:55:39,962 --> 00:55:42,171
The keys are rusty...
731
00:55:43,132 --> 00:55:45,133
and the shift is broken.
732
00:55:54,476 --> 00:55:56,602
But it still rings.
733
00:56:02,317 --> 00:56:04,235
It still rings.
734
00:56:09,992 --> 00:56:11,576
Does it?
735
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:25,339
Oh! Mr. Plunkett. Please.
736
00:56:26,842 --> 00:56:28,718
Gilda?
737
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,555
- Hello, Gilda.
- Hello.
738
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:34,766
I must get in touch
with George immediately.
739
00:56:34,850 --> 00:56:37,769
I just got back from London, dropped into
the Luxembourg Museum with some friends...
740
00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:39,687
and big results for George.
741
00:56:39,772 --> 00:56:41,731
- I'm glad.
- A commission for two portraits.
742
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,900
Mrs. Olsen of Buffalo.
You know the Buffalo Olsens.
743
00:56:43,984 --> 00:56:46,194
- Oh, yes.
- And Ernie Maxwell, the tomato juice man.
744
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:49,739
- The tomato juice man.
- Hmm. Both are willing to pay as high as -
745
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:52,784
Why, what's the matter?
Is George back? Why didn't you tell me?
746
00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:54,994
- He came unexpectedly this morning.
- He did?
747
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:56,996
- Mm-hmm.
- George!
748
00:56:57,873 --> 00:56:59,540
Shh! He's asleep.
749
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:03,127
He only arrived a couple of hours ago.
He had a dreadful night on the train.
750
00:57:03,212 --> 00:57:05,129
You know, his old neuralgia's back.
751
00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:08,925
Oh. Well, you tell him to get in touch
with me just as soon as he wakes up.
752
00:57:09,009 --> 00:57:11,177
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye. Thanks, Max.
753
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,221
- Oh, I almost -
- Shh!
754
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:20,645
I almost forgot to tell you.
Guess who I saw in London.
755
00:57:20,729 --> 00:57:23,314
- The king?
- No, no, no! Tom Chambers.
756
00:57:23,398 --> 00:57:25,191
Oh. How is he?
757
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:30,154
Well, I wouldn't want George to hear this,
but if you ask me, no good.
758
00:57:30,239 --> 00:57:31,531
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
759
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:33,658
You made the right choice,
all right - in a way.
760
00:57:33,742 --> 00:57:35,535
That guy in there - 10 times as good.
761
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,537
Max, do me a favor. Go away.
762
00:57:37,621 --> 00:57:40,289
Of course, I know, you always had
a soft spot for this fellow Chambers.
763
00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:42,166
Please, Max. I've a terrible headache.
764
00:57:42,251 --> 00:57:43,918
Why, what's the matter?
Anything wrong?
765
00:57:44,002 --> 00:57:46,546
No. Just one of my blue days.
766
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,798
- Can I do anything for you?
- No, Max, please!
767
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:51,801
Well, uh, don't tell George
that I even mentioned Tom.
768
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,303
I wouldn't want to be mixed up -
You know how it is.
769
00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:56,514
- It's a rather delicate matter.
- And you don't want to broach it.
770
00:57:56,598 --> 00:57:58,099
- No.
- Then don't.
771
00:57:58,183 --> 00:57:59,684
- Good-bye, Max.
- Good-bye.
772
00:57:59,768 --> 00:58:01,727
- Thanks.
- Why don't you try some aspirin?
773
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:04,856
Oh, you're sweet, Max,
but aspirin won't help this time.
774
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:07,483
- Nothing serious, I hope.
- I hope not.
775
00:58:07,568 --> 00:58:09,318
Well, if - if anything should happen -
776
00:58:09,403 --> 00:58:12,196
I'll come to you
and ask for your advice.
777
00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:14,365
- Will you?
- Always, Max.
778
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:16,951
- Thank you, Gilda.
- Thank you.
779
00:58:17,035 --> 00:58:18,536
Good-bye.
780
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,798
Breakfast is ready.
781
00:58:45,814 --> 00:58:47,481
No orange juice?
782
00:58:47,566 --> 00:58:49,525
We never have any.
783
00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:52,904
Darling, will you remember after this -
orange juice every morning, hmm?
784
00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:54,780
Large glass.
785
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,908
Every morning, huh?
786
00:58:56,992 --> 00:58:58,701
Except Sunday.
787
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,494
Uh, baked apple.
788
00:59:01,830 --> 00:59:04,415
It's going to make a big revolution
in my menu.
789
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,086
The eggs are just right.
790
00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:11,756
You can have mine too.
791
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,384
- No eggs for Gilda?
- No.
792
00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:19,180
- Conscience bothering you?
- No.
793
00:59:19,932 --> 00:59:21,557
Confused?
794
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:24,393
Very much so.
795
00:59:25,437 --> 00:59:28,022
- Gilda.
- Yes?
796
00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:30,983
Is George still given to smashing things?
797
00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:34,403
Well, we have to tell him the truth
regardless of what happens to the furniture.
798
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:37,782
I wonder if he'll hit me.
799
00:59:38,951 --> 00:59:40,868
He was never very civilized.
800
00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:47,250
You're right.
He is kind of - kind of barbaric.
801
00:59:49,544 --> 00:59:53,756
You know, Gilda, we did
a marvelous job on that third act...
802
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,468
and I have a feeling that if we got together
and collaborated on a note to leave behind...
803
00:59:57,552 --> 00:59:59,178
and really worked on it...
804
00:59:59,263 --> 01:00:01,555
it would not only be
a very fine piece of literature...
805
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,433
but it might save me a black eye.
806
01:00:04,518 --> 01:00:07,478
No, no, I can't run away.
I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
807
01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,814
I don't dare think.
808
01:00:09,898 --> 01:00:12,900
I don't even know
what I'm going to tell him.
809
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:16,904
It's very simple.
810
01:00:16,989 --> 01:00:18,823
You love me.
811
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:21,993
That's the only thing
I'm sure of right now.
812
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:24,328
Let's forget the rest.
Let's not talk about it.
813
01:00:24,413 --> 01:00:27,164
We've two more days.
Let's enjoy them.
814
01:00:27,249 --> 01:00:29,041
Oh, my dear!
815
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:38,676
Tommy, I never forgot you.
816
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,928
In fact, you never left me.
817
01:00:41,013 --> 01:00:43,514
You haunted me like a nasty ghost.
818
01:00:44,516 --> 01:00:48,311
On rainy nights, I could hear you
moaning down the chimney.
819
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:52,523
Tommy. Tommy.
820
01:00:54,943 --> 01:00:57,862
- What'll we do after lunch?
- We'll take a long walk for our digestion.
821
01:00:57,946 --> 01:01:00,448
Oh, yes, let's walk and walk
until we're dead tired.
822
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,533
Gilda, I've got a better idea.
823
01:01:04,036 --> 01:01:06,704
Let's stay home instead.
824
01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:33,064
Well, London Louie,
the old rat himself!
825
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:38,027
- You phony playwright! How are you?
- I'm fine.
826
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:40,154
- When did you arrive?
- La-Last night.
827
01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:42,156
Boy, I can't tell you how -
828
01:01:43,784 --> 01:01:45,409
- How are you, darling?
- Fine.
829
01:01:45,494 --> 01:01:48,245
I forgot to kiss you.
You can blame him.
830
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:55,086
- Well, how are you, pal?
- Ouch! Fine.
831
01:01:55,170 --> 01:01:57,338
Lucky I walked out on the Butterfields.
832
01:01:57,422 --> 01:01:59,090
Well, what happened?
833
01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:03,761
Oh, a very involved argument
about la Butterfield's double chin.
834
01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:08,140
I said to her,
"Madam, I am an artist, not a masseur."
835
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,601
Up speaks Mr. Butterfield, and, uh -
836
01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:17,858
What are you doing in that suit?
837
01:02:31,123 --> 01:02:34,125
Tuxedo for breakfast, huh?
Is that a new London custom?
838
01:02:34,209 --> 01:02:36,210
- George -
- I didn't ask you.
839
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:40,965
Well, Tom.
840
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:43,050
You know what I'm thinking.
841
01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,303
It's true.
842
01:02:46,388 --> 01:02:48,305
- George -
- Shut up!
843
01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:10,244
Well, that's one way
of meeting the situation.
844
01:03:10,328 --> 01:03:13,038
Shipping clerk comes home,
finds missus with boarder.
845
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:15,082
He breaks dishes.
846
01:03:15,167 --> 01:03:17,084
It's pure burlesque.
847
01:03:17,169 --> 01:03:18,878
Then there's another way.
848
01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:23,174
Intelligent artist returns unexpectedly,
finds treacherous friends.
849
01:03:23,258 --> 01:03:27,344
Both discuss the pros and cons
of the situation in grown-up dialogue.
850
01:03:28,638 --> 01:03:31,307
High-class comedy,
enjoyed by everybody.
851
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,892
And there's a third way.
852
01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:36,479
I'll kick your teeth out, tear your head off
and beat some decency into you!
853
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,689
Cheap melodrama. Very dull.
854
01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:44,737
George, stop it.
855
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:46,739
Still very dull.
856
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,366
I suppose you feel sorry for him.
857
01:03:49,451 --> 01:03:51,785
I feel sorry for you.
858
01:03:51,870 --> 01:03:53,787
I'm sorry I hurt you.
859
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:58,000
But it was inevitable.
860
01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:00,419
Go on.
Get out of here, both of you.
861
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:03,130
It's hard to believe I -
I loved you both.
862
01:04:03,215 --> 01:04:05,132
- George!
- I don't want any part of either of you.
863
01:04:05,217 --> 01:04:09,220
Go on! Go with him in his top hat
and fancy pants and silly name in lights...
864
01:04:09,304 --> 01:04:11,305
and good luck to both of you!
865
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,684
The London train leaves at 4:00.
866
01:04:16,978 --> 01:04:19,021
You'll be very happy.
867
01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:20,606
I promise.
868
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:23,859
Thank you, Tom.
869
01:04:23,944 --> 01:04:25,444
I'll pack.
870
01:04:30,325 --> 01:04:31,992
Good-bye, George.
871
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:35,621
You did the right thing
about the Butterfields.
872
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,581
And, George...
873
01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:41,126
after I've gone, don't change.
874
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:43,546
Don't ever bow to double chins.
875
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,256
Stay an artist.
876
01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:46,840
That's important.
877
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:51,887
In fact, the most important thing.
878
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:22,042
I didn't want to praise you in front of Gilda,
but you certainly pack a wicked right.
879
01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:24,795
A real wallop.
880
01:05:32,012 --> 01:05:34,305
There are a number of things here
which belong to her.
881
01:05:34,389 --> 01:05:35,931
Oh, that's all right. Never mind.
882
01:05:36,016 --> 01:05:38,851
No, no, I don't want them.
Where shall I send them?
883
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:41,604
Forward them in my name
in care of the Carlton Theatre, London.
884
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:46,317
- And her mail?
- Same place. I'll see that she gets it.
885
01:05:46,401 --> 01:05:49,069
- Anything else?
- Not that I can think of.
886
01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:52,948
If anything should come up,
will you be at this address?
887
01:05:53,033 --> 01:05:56,577
That's immaterial.
I don't wish to enter into any correspondence.
888
01:05:56,661 --> 01:05:58,245
As you wish.
889
01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:00,331
Better tell her to hurry up.
It's getting to be a strain.
890
01:06:00,415 --> 01:06:02,958
- Well, you gotta give her a chance to pack.
- Well, tell her to hurry up!
891
01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:05,044
All right! All right!
Hurry up, Gilda!
892
01:06:06,755 --> 01:06:08,672
Hurry up, darling.
893
01:06:12,510 --> 01:06:14,428
Here, you rattlesnake.
894
01:06:15,263 --> 01:06:18,432
- So that's how you feel.
- Yes, that's how I feel. Understand?
895
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:20,017
Perfectly.
896
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:23,020
I felt that way once.
897
01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:25,606
Gilda, have you got room in your trunk?
898
01:07:02,102 --> 01:07:04,061
Here. For you.
899
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:06,271
- What's that?
- A note from Gilda.
900
01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:23,539
"Tommy dear.
901
01:07:26,334 --> 01:07:31,463
I am running away because I am afraid
your house in London has a chimney too...
902
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:34,383
and I fancy on rainy nights,
I would hear -
903
01:07:38,179 --> 01:07:42,266
And I fancy on rainy nights,
I would hear that old devil George moaning.
904
01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:44,893
So be nice, and let me be nice.
905
01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:47,479
Maybe I'll like it. Gilda."
906
01:08:36,488 --> 01:08:38,822
- You think she'll come back?
- No.
907
01:08:39,991 --> 01:08:41,658
Should we try to find her?
908
01:08:41,743 --> 01:08:43,368
What's the use?
909
01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:46,789
The mother of the arts
wants to be a nice girl.
910
01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:50,417
Tragic.
911
01:08:50,502 --> 01:08:52,961
No, it's comic.
912
01:08:53,046 --> 01:08:56,548
Two slightly used artists
in the ash can.
913
01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:00,803
You'll get drunk.
914
01:09:02,388 --> 01:09:04,765
It's the only sensible thing to do.
915
01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:11,980
To Gilda.
916
01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:22,407
Would you care to hit me?
Please help yourself.
917
01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:24,868
Sorry. I'm too high-class.
918
01:09:24,953 --> 01:09:27,454
- A gentleman, huh?
- To my fingertips.
919
01:09:28,540 --> 01:09:33,085
May I refer you to a letter sent to you
from London in a similar crisis?
920
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:35,212
A very high-class document.
921
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:38,757
I could have enclosed
some smallpox germs easily.
922
01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:40,843
But you didn't.
923
01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:43,470
Very considerate.
924
01:09:43,555 --> 01:09:45,472
Let's drink to that.
925
01:09:56,317 --> 01:09:58,569
To smallpox germs.
926
01:09:58,653 --> 01:10:01,864
In Latin, variola cocci.
927
01:10:11,332 --> 01:10:13,959
I think we're being very sensible.
928
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,919
Extremely.
929
01:10:16,004 --> 01:10:18,922
- Good for our livers.
- Good for our immortal souls.
930
01:10:19,007 --> 01:10:21,174
But bad for our stomachs.
931
01:10:21,259 --> 01:10:23,468
Ah! That's loose thinking.
932
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:27,848
What's bad for your stomach
may be highly entertaining for my stomach.
933
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:33,020
I'm glad the conversation
has taken a scientific turn.
934
01:10:33,104 --> 01:10:36,106
Well, it's better than discussing this Gilda.
935
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:38,317
- We must forget Gilda.
- Utterly.
936
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,778
- Let's change the subject.
- Right.
937
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:44,698
Let's talk about something entirely new.
938
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:48,702
Let's talk about ourselves.
939
01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:50,454
Very interesting.
940
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,881
- To ourselves.
- No.
941
01:11:01,883 --> 01:11:03,675
It's bad taste.
942
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,261
Well, we can't drink to nothing.
943
01:11:06,346 --> 01:11:08,972
Well, it's better
than drinking to ourselves.
944
01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:11,808
- To nothing.
- No!
945
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,853
I refuse to be silly.
946
01:11:14,938 --> 01:11:16,855
That's right.
947
01:11:16,940 --> 01:11:19,399
Well, there must be a reason
for drinking.
948
01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:24,321
- To, uh -
- No!
949
01:11:24,405 --> 01:11:26,698
I beg your pardon.
950
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:30,911
To Kaplan and McGuire.
951
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,622
Uh, don't be hasty.
952
01:11:34,916 --> 01:11:36,583
To Kaplan.
953
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,089
Ah.
954
01:11:47,095 --> 01:11:49,137
And now to McGuire.
955
01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,311
A letter to my mother.
956
01:11:57,522 --> 01:12:00,607
Mrs. Oscar F. Plunkett,
Utica, New York.
957
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:03,527
Dear Mama:
958
01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:07,948
I will arrive on the 25th of this month
on the U.S. Liner S.S. Manhattan.
959
01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:11,785
I will be accompanied
by Miss Gilda Farrell.
960
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:16,790
Miss Gilda Farrell is the daughter
of Mr. And Mrs. Anthony G. Farrell...
961
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:19,376
of Fargo, North Dakota.
962
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:09,760
- Got the ring?
- Check.
963
01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:11,636
- Feel nervous, Max?
- No.
964
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:14,181
Had a fine nap.
Feel a hundred percent.
965
01:13:44,670 --> 01:13:48,090
How does it feel to be Mrs. Plunkett?
Any different?
966
01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:52,552
Well, it feels like standing
with your feet on the ground.
967
01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:56,640
Peaceful, Max, and so secure.
968
01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:58,058
You bet.
969
01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:01,144
It's going to be nice
to be a law-abiding citizen.
970
01:14:01,229 --> 01:14:02,729
Gilda!
971
01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:05,690
What lovely flowers.
972
01:14:07,485 --> 01:14:10,278
"Strump and Egelbauer."
973
01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:12,322
Very fine people,
Strump and Egelbauer.
974
01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:14,157
- Biggest cement people in town.
- Oh.
975
01:14:14,242 --> 01:14:15,867
Oh, you'll like 'em.
976
01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:17,619
They sound adorable.
977
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,037
- Gilda.
- Yes, Max?
978
01:14:19,122 --> 01:14:22,249
Now that it's all over -
the excitement, et cetera -
979
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:24,417
I'd like to know,
what's your attitude?
980
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,336
My attitude?
Well, toward what?
981
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:28,171
I mean, do you love me?
982
01:14:28,256 --> 01:14:29,714
Oh, Max.
983
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:32,509
People should never ask that question
on their wedding night.
984
01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:34,845
It's either too late or too early.
985
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:37,013
I'm your wife, Max.
986
01:14:37,098 --> 01:14:38,932
That's well put.
987
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,353
- Gilda, it's 9:30.
- Oh, that late?
988
01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:46,022
Yes, and I have an appointment
in the morning, 10:15 sharp.
989
01:14:46,107 --> 01:14:48,066
Oh, yes.
990
01:14:48,151 --> 01:14:49,651
Beautiful!
991
01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:54,698
"Kaplan and McGuire"!
992
01:14:54,782 --> 01:14:57,367
Your friends from now on,
as well as mine.
993
01:15:10,464 --> 01:15:12,132
What did they do that for?
994
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:14,885
Why, they want to remember us.
I think it's very nice of them.
995
01:15:14,969 --> 01:15:16,636
This is no time for remembering.
996
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:20,515
It would have been much more tactful
of them to forget. I think it's offensive.
997
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:23,226
Oh, well, now,
that's a closed chapter in your life.
998
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:25,437
Anyhow, you've nothing
to worry about on that score.
999
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:28,106
- I've forgiven you.
- Forgiven me? For what?
1000
01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:29,858
Oh, that's all right.
1001
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:32,736
- Well, I don't want to be forgiven!
- Well, I forgive you just the same.
1002
01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:34,738
It'll make you feel better.
1003
01:15:34,822 --> 01:15:36,448
It's their idea of a joke.
1004
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:40,619
I can just see them sitting in China,
laughing their heads off.
1005
01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,370
About what?
1006
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:45,290
It's a rotten trick.
1007
01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:47,083
- It's cheap.
- Well, it shouldn't surprise you.
1008
01:15:47,168 --> 01:15:50,420
They never fooled me for a minute.
Hooligans.
1009
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:52,756
Max, I don't care
to discuss them at all...
1010
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:55,217
but if you ever feel it's necessary
to mention them...
1011
01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:57,385
don't call them hooligans!
1012
01:15:57,470 --> 01:15:59,763
Oh, well, of course,
they have some fine qualities.
1013
01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:02,432
Please stop talking about them!
1014
01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:04,434
It's my wedding night.
1015
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:07,187
Leave those two boys
where they are - in China!
1016
01:16:10,024 --> 01:16:12,359
I've an appointment tomorrow morning.
1017
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:16,071
10:15 sharp. It's important.
1018
01:18:09,727 --> 01:18:11,644
- Hello, darling.
- Hello.
1019
01:18:17,651 --> 01:18:20,612
Well, Gilda. Great news for you.
1020
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,697
- Our party's in the bag.
- Really?
1021
01:18:22,782 --> 01:18:24,908
- Yes, sir. Guess what.
- I give up.
1022
01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:27,577
- Mr. Egelbauer has accepted.
- Is that good?
1023
01:18:27,661 --> 01:18:30,205
Say, listen,
I'll guarantee you one thing -
1024
01:18:30,289 --> 01:18:33,750
Let this party be a success, and inside
of two weeks we'll be invited to the Egelbauers.
1025
01:18:33,834 --> 01:18:37,087
I see.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
1026
01:18:37,171 --> 01:18:38,880
Oh, don't talk like that.
1027
01:18:38,964 --> 01:18:42,759
Strump and Egelbauer are figuring on the greatest
publicity campaign in the history of cement.
1028
01:18:42,843 --> 01:18:45,387
Well, what about the Strumps?
Don't we have to invite them too?
1029
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:48,264
Mr. Strump comes first.
"Strump and Egelbauer."
1030
01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:50,850
No, no, no.
We can't have them at the same time.
1031
01:18:50,935 --> 01:18:52,936
- They're not on speaking terms.
- That's right.
1032
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,397
I forgot about Mr. Strump
and Mrs. Egelbauer.
1033
01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,607
Oh, don't mention that!
Don't even breathe it.
1034
01:18:57,691 --> 01:18:59,526
- I won't.
- You promise?
1035
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:01,444
Promise.
1036
01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:03,446
Word of honor?
1037
01:19:03,531 --> 01:19:05,365
Cross my heart.
1038
01:19:05,449 --> 01:19:07,450
And please don't worry about the Strumps.
1039
01:19:07,535 --> 01:19:09,452
A week from Tuesday
we have the Strumps.
1040
01:19:09,537 --> 01:19:11,454
That's diplomacy.
1041
01:19:11,539 --> 01:19:13,790
And if this Strump party
is a big social success...
1042
01:19:13,874 --> 01:19:15,792
is there any chance
we'll be invited to the Strumps?
1043
01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:18,545
- It's a cinch.
- What a season!
1044
01:19:25,428 --> 01:19:29,431
Everybody, please. Everybody who wants to
play Twenty Questions, all in the living room.
1045
01:19:33,769 --> 01:19:36,479
Everybody who wants to play Twenty Questions,
all in the living room.
1046
01:19:36,564 --> 01:19:38,898
Oh, that sounds fun!
1047
01:19:40,151 --> 01:19:41,901
Everybody who wants to play -
1048
01:19:45,948 --> 01:19:48,575
Gilda, what are you doing here?
1049
01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,577
- Just resting between rounds.
- Oh.
1050
01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:52,704
Well, we're going to play Twenty Questions
in the living room.
1051
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:54,414
- Mr. Egelbauer's requested it.
- Oh, Max!
1052
01:19:54,498 --> 01:19:56,166
Oh, it's gonna be great fun.
1053
01:19:56,250 --> 01:19:59,169
But I've had so much fun all evening.
It's almost too much for me.
1054
01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,337
Post Office with Kaplan and McGuire.
1055
01:20:01,422 --> 01:20:03,381
Drop the Handkerchief
with the linoleum group.
1056
01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:04,799
But Mr. Egelbauer -
1057
01:20:04,884 --> 01:20:07,010
Well, I've just played
Going to Jerusalem with Mr. Egelbauer.
1058
01:20:07,094 --> 01:20:09,012
Well, now he wants to play
Twenty Questions.
1059
01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:11,306
Oh, you've got to come.
There's no way of getting out of it.
1060
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:12,932
All right.
1061
01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:21,941
We'll start right away.
1062
01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:25,820
- Shh!
- Shh!
1063
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,032
All right, Gilda.
1064
01:20:31,952 --> 01:20:34,746
Is it animal, vegetable or mineral?
1065
01:20:56,936 --> 01:20:58,561
Are you expected?
1066
01:20:58,646 --> 01:21:01,064
No, not exactly expected.
1067
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,901
Anticipated, uh, hoped for
and dreamed about.
1068
01:21:07,821 --> 01:21:09,822
- Do you wish to see Mr. Plunkett?
- No!
1069
01:21:09,907 --> 01:21:12,951
- Positively no.
- Mrs. Plunkett, if you please.
1070
01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:15,703
Mrs. Plunkett is engaged
in playing Twenty Questions.
1071
01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:19,082
- She can't be disturbed.
- Oh! Oh, I see.
1072
01:21:19,166 --> 01:21:20,917
- Twenty Questions?
- Mmm.
1073
01:21:21,001 --> 01:21:23,127
- Hmm.
- It makes it rather difficult.
1074
01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:25,838
Well, uh, what you say, Inspector?
1075
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:28,049
I beg your pardon.
This is Inspector Knox.
1076
01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,301
- How do you do, sir?
- How do you do?
1077
01:21:30,386 --> 01:21:33,137
Well, Sergeant - Excuse me.
Sergeant O'Toole.
1078
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:35,223
- How do you do?
- How do you do, sir?
1079
01:21:35,307 --> 01:21:37,225
Headquarters.
1080
01:21:37,309 --> 01:21:39,143
Shall I notify them?
1081
01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:41,729
Oh, no, don't bother, please.
We'll, uh - We'll wait.
1082
01:21:41,814 --> 01:21:43,898
- Any trouble?
- No, no, not at all.
1083
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:47,277
We're only here in behalf
of the Policeman's Benefit Ball.
1084
01:21:47,361 --> 01:21:49,445
- About some tickets?
- Righto.
1085
01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,864
All right. Wait if you want to.
1086
01:21:54,326 --> 01:21:56,578
Well, uh, Inspector...
1087
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:58,705
how did the butler strike you?
1088
01:21:58,789 --> 01:22:01,624
- A dual personality.
- Hmm.
1089
01:22:01,709 --> 01:22:03,793
Shall we, uh, look over the premises?
1090
01:22:03,877 --> 01:22:05,420
Righto, Sergeant.
1091
01:22:05,504 --> 01:22:08,214
We may run into some valuable clues.
1092
01:22:08,299 --> 01:22:10,466
- Shall we start with the kitchen?
- No.
1093
01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:12,552
- Let's begin with the boudoir.
- Ah.
1094
01:22:20,227 --> 01:22:22,562
- Animal, vegetable or mineral?
- Animal!
1095
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:57,805
- Gilda!
- I won't do it!
1096
01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:01,100
I guessed Mr. Egelbauer in 10 questions,
and that's enough. I'm worn out.
1097
01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,691
Gilda, I insist.
1098
01:23:08,776 --> 01:23:10,068
I won't do it!
1099
01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:12,403
- You're ruining everything.
- I don't care!
1100
01:23:12,488 --> 01:23:14,697
I won't ask Mr. Egelbauer to sing.
1101
01:23:14,782 --> 01:23:16,783
- All right. Then I'll have to ask him myself.
- Fine!
1102
01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:19,202
- And you'll have to come downstairs and listen.
- Nothing doing.
1103
01:23:19,286 --> 01:23:21,245
But he-he -
he brought his music.
1104
01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:24,207
I'm not going to listen
to that Egelbauer sing!
1105
01:23:24,291 --> 01:23:26,626
I won't! I won't! I won't!
1106
01:23:27,795 --> 01:23:30,713
Oh, please, Max, let me rest.
1107
01:23:30,798 --> 01:23:33,132
All right. Get your rest.
1108
01:23:36,929 --> 01:23:38,930
Take two minutes and come down.
1109
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:43,726
Oh, Egelbauer!
1110
01:23:45,312 --> 01:23:47,647
-
-
1111
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:53,319
1112
01:24:03,122 --> 01:24:06,290
Well, dear me.
Look who's here.
1113
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,006
How did you get in?
1114
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,428
- Shall we tell her?
- I would. We have nothing to conceal.
1115
01:24:19,847 --> 01:24:21,848
The stork brought us.
1116
01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:25,935
I thought you were in China.
1117
01:24:26,019 --> 01:24:27,937
We moved.
1118
01:24:28,021 --> 01:24:30,523
- Shall we sit down?
- Yes, please.
1119
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:37,905
That's Tom.
1120
01:24:37,990 --> 01:24:39,991
- And that's George.
- And this is Gilda.
1121
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:42,076
Oh, no, that's not Gilda.
That's Mrs. Plunkett.
1122
01:24:42,161 --> 01:24:44,871
- No, that's Gilda.
- Oh, let's see.
1123
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:46,998
Well, there's a certain resemblance.
1124
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:48,750
You're right. It's Mrs. Plunkett.
1125
01:24:48,834 --> 01:24:51,878
But from here - from here she looks
a teeny-weeny bit like Max.
1126
01:24:51,962 --> 01:24:53,921
- Maybe it's Mr. Plunkett.
- Oh, I doubt it.
1127
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:58,134
1128
01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:03,139
1129
01:25:03,223 --> 01:25:04,182
1130
01:25:04,266 --> 01:25:06,768
- He really fell in the river?
- Feet first!
1131
01:25:27,206 --> 01:25:29,165
What's this?
What's going on here?
1132
01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:31,501
We have callers from China.
1133
01:25:31,585 --> 01:25:33,252
What are you doing here?
1134
01:25:33,337 --> 01:25:36,172
- Shh!
- We're hiding from Mr. Egelbauer.
1135
01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:37,757
Shh!
1136
01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,343
Listen, this is no time for jokes.
I haven't invited you.
1137
01:25:40,427 --> 01:25:42,512
I don't want you here,
and neither does Gilda.
1138
01:25:42,596 --> 01:25:45,014
Gilda, you must come down.
Egelbauer's on his second song.
1139
01:25:45,098 --> 01:25:48,142
- Egelbauer! Egelbauer!
- Well, what am I going to say?
What am I going to do?
1140
01:25:48,227 --> 01:25:49,852
One moment, Mr. Plunkett.
1141
01:25:49,937 --> 01:25:52,688
Question: Who is this Mr. Egelbauer?
1142
01:25:52,773 --> 01:25:55,274
You see, Mr. Egelbauer
is not only a first-rate singer...
1143
01:25:55,359 --> 01:25:57,276
but he's also the head
of Strump and E -
1144
01:25:57,361 --> 01:26:00,321
I want you two to leave
these premises at once!
1145
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:02,907
Well, Inspector, what do you think?
1146
01:26:02,991 --> 01:26:04,992
Animal, vegetable or mineral?
1147
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:08,663
Vegetable.
1148
01:26:11,542 --> 01:26:15,545
1149
01:26:15,629 --> 01:26:20,967
1150
01:26:21,051 --> 01:26:29,141
1151
01:26:29,226 --> 01:26:31,227
Egelbauer!
1152
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:34,272
1153
01:26:34,356 --> 01:26:38,901
1154
01:26:41,697 --> 01:26:44,490
What do you mean
by smashing into all this?
1155
01:26:44,575 --> 01:26:46,742
You arranged all this.
You were expecting 'em.
1156
01:26:46,827 --> 01:26:49,078
Don't be silly. I arranged nothing.
I knew nothing about it.
1157
01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:51,330
- Well, how'd they get here then?
- The stork brought 'em.
1158
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:53,749
Oh, I see. I see what you mean.
Hooligans!
1159
01:26:53,834 --> 01:26:56,043
That's what they are,
and that's what they always will be!
1160
01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:58,588
Maybe they are.
Maybe I'm a hooligan too.
1161
01:26:58,672 --> 01:27:00,423
Maybe I want to be a hooligan.
1162
01:27:00,507 --> 01:27:03,426
No. No, Gilda, no. No, you don't. No.
Now, we've got to calm down.
1163
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,595
- Uh, you want a glass of water?
- No, thank you.
1164
01:27:05,679 --> 01:27:07,930
Now, I'm willing to drop the whole matter.
I forgive you.
1165
01:27:08,015 --> 01:27:09,682
Are you starting to forgive me again?
1166
01:27:09,766 --> 01:27:12,268
Now, just relax and be a good girl.
I'll handle this.
1167
01:27:12,352 --> 01:27:15,271
You let me go down first,
and I'll sell them the idea that -
1168
01:27:15,355 --> 01:27:17,023
that you've had an attack of hiccups.
1169
01:27:17,107 --> 01:27:19,609
And then two minutes later you come down,
and you tell Mr. Egelbauer -
1170
01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:22,778
- I'll tell him!
- Yes. You tell Mr. Egelbauer
that you're extremely sorry.
1171
01:27:22,863 --> 01:27:25,239
Make a simple little apology,
but sincere.
1172
01:27:25,324 --> 01:27:27,617
Say that you heard his singing
all the way upstairs...
1173
01:27:27,701 --> 01:27:29,493
and even at that distance
it was wonderful.
1174
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,245
Now, listen, Plunkett, Incorporated!
1175
01:27:31,330 --> 01:27:33,789
You go down to those customers of yours
and give them a sales talk.
1176
01:27:33,874 --> 01:27:36,000
Sell them anything you want,
but not me.
1177
01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:38,586
I'm fed up with underwear,
cement, linoleum!
1178
01:27:38,670 --> 01:27:41,130
I'm sick of being a trademark
married to a slogan!
1179
01:27:41,214 --> 01:27:43,299
- Gilda!
- Don't you tell 'em I've got hiccups.
1180
01:27:43,383 --> 01:27:47,595
Tell 'em I've got the advertising blues,
the billboard collywobbles!
1181
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,139
Slogans and sales talks
morning, noon and night...
1182
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:53,809
and not one human sound out of you
and your whole flock of Egelbauers!
1183
01:27:53,894 --> 01:27:56,771
That's just a lot of words.
There's only one issue here.
1184
01:27:56,855 --> 01:28:00,483
If this Strump and Egelbauer deal is spoiled,
I'll know just who to blame.
1185
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:18,250
- Where - Where is everybody?
- I think they've all gone home.
1186
01:28:18,335 --> 01:28:21,045
Gone home? What for? Why?
1187
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:24,173
- You should never have socked McGuire.
- Socked McGuire?
1188
01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:28,010
I admit I was a bit careless, but how should
I know Kaplan would creep up in the back?
1189
01:28:28,095 --> 01:28:29,595
That's partnership.
1190
01:28:29,680 --> 01:28:31,347
- Kaplan? Creep up in the back?
- Yes.
1191
01:28:31,431 --> 01:28:33,724
But the real surprise of the evening
was Egelbauer.
1192
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:37,186
- He starts slow -
- But warms up. Wonderful footwork.
1193
01:28:37,270 --> 01:28:39,105
Wh-What - What - What happened?
1194
01:28:39,189 --> 01:28:41,399
- Was there a fight?
- A marvelous fight!
1195
01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:43,484
It was quite a demonstration.
1196
01:28:43,568 --> 01:28:45,277
Oh!
1197
01:28:48,949 --> 01:28:50,866
- Gilda!
- I know all about it.
1198
01:28:50,951 --> 01:28:53,244
I'm awfully sorry, Max,
but it all can be remedied very easily.
1199
01:28:53,328 --> 01:28:55,162
But we've got to do something
about it at once.
1200
01:28:55,247 --> 01:28:59,125
Quite right. But let me do it.
After all, it's my friends who caused
the trouble, and I'm to blame.
1201
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:03,212
- Well, what do you -
- Max, I'm going to make a great sacrifice
for your business.
1202
01:29:03,296 --> 01:29:04,964
I'm going to leave you.
1203
01:29:05,048 --> 01:29:07,800
Leave me? You're crazy.
That won't help.
1204
01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:09,552
Oh, yes, it will, tremendously.
1205
01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:13,472
Now, tomorrow you put on your nicest derby
and you go and call on your customers...
1206
01:29:13,557 --> 01:29:15,224
and tell 'em
you've separated from your wife...
1207
01:29:15,308 --> 01:29:17,685
because of her connection
with those two terrible wretches.
1208
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:22,231
I guarantee you, you'll be considered
the biggest martyr in the history of cement.
1209
01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:24,150
So, I see.
1210
01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,360
That's the way you feel about the matter.
1211
01:29:26,445 --> 01:29:28,571
Good old Max. Cheer up.
1212
01:29:28,655 --> 01:29:30,573
You really haven't any complaints.
1213
01:29:30,657 --> 01:29:33,117
I've more than doubled your business
since our bridal night...
1214
01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:36,245
and after I leave you,
it's liable to triple.
1215
01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:38,998
That's all you really wanted anyway.
1216
01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:41,917
Now, Gilda, be sensible.
1217
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:44,754
Oh. That's Mr. Egelbauer.
1218
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,216
Hello.
1219
01:29:49,301 --> 01:29:51,302
Oh, hello, Mr. Egelbauer.
1220
01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:53,679
Oh, how are you, Mr. Egelbauer?
1221
01:29:53,764 --> 01:29:57,266
So! And poor Mrs. Egelbauer -
How is she?
1222
01:29:57,350 --> 01:29:59,351
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
1223
01:29:59,436 --> 01:30:03,397
Well, Mr. Egelbauer, you must realize
that I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.
1224
01:30:03,482 --> 01:30:05,274
Good-bye, Max.
1225
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,152
Gilda, just a minute!
Y-Yes, Mr. Egelbauer?
1226
01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:10,738
Oh, I can explain everything
to your fullest satisfaction.
1227
01:30:10,822 --> 01:30:12,656
I guarantee it.
1228
01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:15,951
Oh, thank you, Mr. Egelbauer.
Oh, that's big of you.
1229
01:30:16,036 --> 01:30:18,496
Tomorrow morning, 9:00 sharp.
1230
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:22,500
Oh, you've made me a very happy man,
Mr. Egelbauer!
1231
01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:24,919
Now we'll have some fun.
Back to Paris.
1232
01:30:25,003 --> 01:30:26,921
- To the same old studio?
- The same old dump.
1233
01:30:27,005 --> 01:30:28,464
- And work!
- Great.
1234
01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,674
- But you can't paint in that suit.
- I'll burn it.
1235
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:33,302
- And you can't write in that top hat.
- In the ash can with it!
1236
01:30:33,386 --> 01:30:37,348
Let's hear, Gilda.
Can you still say "rotten"?
1237
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:39,683
Rotten!
1238
01:30:39,768 --> 01:30:42,645
Gilda, you gonna criticize us
with that baseball bat of yours?
1239
01:30:42,729 --> 01:30:44,605
Till you say "uncle."
1240
01:30:44,689 --> 01:30:46,357
Ha-ha! Gilda!
1241
01:30:47,734 --> 01:30:49,568
Dear critic!
1242
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:55,491
But, boys, this is very important.
There's one thing that has to be understood.
1243
01:30:55,575 --> 01:30:57,451
- I know.
- Yes, we know.
1244
01:30:57,536 --> 01:30:59,453
It's a gentleman's agreement.
95609
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.