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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,374
ALL RIGHT, QUICK REVIEW.
YELLOW LIGHT MEANS?
2
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,142
FLOOR IT.
3
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:11,745
STOP SIGN?
LOOK BOTH WAYS FOR JOHNNY LAW,
THEN FLOOR IT.
4
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,013
YIELD SIGN MEANS?
5
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,215
NOTHING TO A BAXTER.
6
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,185
[ CHUCKLES ]
LET'S STOP RIGHT HERE.
7
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,420
WE'RE GONNA GO OVER
YOUR PARKING TECHNIQUE.
8
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,155
THE THIRD SPOT
FROM THE END DOWN THERE
9
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,923
IS THE LAST PARKING SPOT
YOU GOT,
10
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,825
AND YOU'RE TRYING TO BEAT
A TREE HUGGER IN A HYBRID.
11
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:25,926
YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL
12
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,728
'CAUSE YOU CAN'T HEAR
THOSE THINGS COMING.
13
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,931
JUST SIT TIGHT AND SUCK IN
THE G-FORCES, OLD MAN.
14
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,366
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
15
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,171
[ GROANS ]
16
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,339
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,740
WHOO.
OKAY,
A COUPLE OF THINGS.
18
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,376
I SHOULD HAVE WORN
A DIAPER TODAY.
19
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,577
[ CHUCKLES ]
20
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,012
AND WHERE DID YOU LEARN
HOW TO DO THAT?
21
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,915
I'VE HAD THE WORLD'S
BEST DRIVING INSTRUCTOR...
22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:49,917
..."GRAND THEFT AUTO."
23
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,051
A VIDEO GAME.
24
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,786
YOU KNOW, IN MY DAY,
IF YOU WANTED TO JOYRIDE,
25
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,588
YOU HAD TO ACTUALLY
STEAL A CAR.
26
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:57,091
YEAH, YEAH. LIFE WAS ROUGH
BACK THEN AND SO MUCH BETTER.
27
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,859
CAN WE PLEASE GET OUT
ON THE OPEN ROAD?
28
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,195
CHECK THE REARVIEW MIRROR,
PLEASE.
29
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,063
ALL RIGHT, ALL CLEAR.
30
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,965
NO, THERE'S STILL
SOMETHING BACK THERE.
31
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,467
REALLY? WHAT?
32
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,068
YOUR CHILDHOOD.
33
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,104
NOW FLOOR IT.
34
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:14,775
[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH ]
35
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:22,216
-- Captions by VITAC --
36
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,884
"LAST MAN STANDING"
WAS RECORDED
37
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,253
IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
38
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,921
I'VE GOT IT!
I'VE GOT IT!
39
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,257
SIT YOURSELF.
40
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,293
HEY.
41
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:33,561
NO, NONE OF THAT
MONKEY BUSINESS.
42
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,496
I GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE
BEFORE MY DAD SEES YOU.
43
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,097
WHY? YOUR DAD LOVES IT
WHEN I COME OVER.
44
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,133
BECAUSE HE LOVES
PUTTING YOU TO WORK --
45
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:41,502
CLEANING THE GUTTERS,
PULLING WEEDS,
46
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:44,004
SCRUBBING
THE GUEST BATHROOM.
47
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,106
IN FAIRNESS, KYLE DOES
MOST OF THE DAMAGE IN THERE.
48
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,842
HEY, KYLE. IS THAT YOU?
49
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,644
NO, KYLE'S NOT HERE.
RUN. RUN, RUN, RUN. RUN.
50
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,246
HEY, MR. B.
NICE RUNNING.
51
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,014
I BUSTED ONE OF THE MOTOR MOUNTS
IN THE TRUCK.
52
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:57,985
IT'S A TWO-MAN JOB, BUT WE CAN
MAKE DO WITH A MAN AND A HALF.
53
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,020
UH, KYLE AND I
ARE GOING TO THE MALL.
54
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,289
YOU'D RATHER
GO TO THE MALL WITH HER?
55
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,291
YOU'RE NOT HALF
THE HALF-MAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
56
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,160
WELL, UH, MANDY, HONEY,
IF YOU WANT SOME COMPANY,
57
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,127
I'LL GO TO THE MALL
WITH YOU.
58
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,962
I MEAN,
I COULD USE A DAY OF BEAUTY.
59
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,764
A DAY?
60
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:13,967
OH, HA HA HA.
61
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,870
YEAH, I'M REPULSIVE,
BUT I'M THE BEST YOU COULD DO.
62
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,507
NO, REALLY,
I NEED TO GET TO THE SALON.
63
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,942
MY EYEBROWS ARE LIKE
TWO CATERPILLARS TRYING TO MATE.
64
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,143
[ CHUCKLES ]
65
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,978
COME ON, HONEY.
MY TREAT.
66
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,146
YEAH, BUT KYLE AND I
HAVE PLANS.
67
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,548
AND THEY DON'T
INVOLVE AN ENGINE.
68
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,550
UH, WELL, ACTUALLY,
THEY KIND OF DO.
69
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:30,984
THIS GUY BARRY
AT THE MALL
70
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,120
LETS ME CONDUCT
THE TODDLER TOWN CHOO-CHOO.
71
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,955
HE'S PRETTY COOL.
72
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:39,026
I'M NOT SURE
HE WORKS THERE, THOUGH.
73
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,861
THIS WILL JUST TAKE A SECOND,
MANDY. COME ON. LET'S GO.
74
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,030
SORRY, MANDY.
MY HEART WANTS TO STAY.
75
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:46,066
BUT WHATEVER ORGAN CONTROLS FEAR
IS TELLING ME TO GO.
76
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,169
COME ON, HONEY.
YOU READY TO HIT THE SALON?
77
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,339
[ SIGHS ]
78
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,341
OR I COULD FIND A PAIR
OF TWEEZERS
79
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,509
AND GO PLUCK MYSELF.
80
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,511
WOW. THAT LOOKS HEAVY.
81
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,879
IT IS HEAVY.
82
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,081
I WANT YOU TO SLIDE UNDER
THE CAR SO IF THE CHAIN BREAKS,
83
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,850
THE MOTOR CAN LAND
ON SOMETHING SOFT.
84
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,051
RIGHT-O.
85
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:05,152
KYLE, I'M KIDDING.
86
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,054
I'M NOT GONNA DROP
THE ENGINE ON YOU.
87
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,022
WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO
IS GRAB THE BATTERY POSTS
88
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,058
AND SEE
IF THERE'S A FULL CHARGE.
89
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,093
AAH!
LICK YOUR FINGERS.
90
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,931
HEY, GUYS.
91
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,334
OH, HEY, KRIS,
I'M SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY.
92
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,336
YOU WON'T BE WHEN YOU HEAR
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
93
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,838
HAVE YOU SEEN
A GUINEA PIG?
94
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,241
OH, NO, I-I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO
TO THE FLEA MARKET.
95
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,343
YOUR NEW APARTMENT
NEEDS FURNITURE.
96
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,379
I'LL BUY YOU A COUCH
SOMEBODY'S GRANDMOTHER DIED ON.
97
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,014
ACTUALLY, I JUST CAME BY
TO GET BOYD'S BACKPACK.
98
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,050
[ SIGHS ] IF THERE'S NOT
A GUINEA PIG IN HERE,
99
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:40,053
I AM LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL
OF A VERY ROUGH HEART-TO-HEART.
100
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,055
OHH.
101
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,124
SHOOT. IT'S NOT THERE.
102
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,959
OH, NO SNICKERDOODLE,
HUH?
103
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:47,561
THAT THING COST 30 BUCKS.
OHH.
104
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,929
DO YOU THINK
BOYD WOULD NOTICE
105
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,098
IF THE NEW SNICKERDOODLE
WERE SMALLER?
106
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,100
AND A...FISH?
107
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,469
I LOVE YOU.
GOT TO GO.
108
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,039
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
109
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,942
SO, UM...EVIE, HI.
110
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,111
UH, HOW'S IT -- HOW'S IT --
HOW'S IT GOING?
111
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,114
WELL, THE BILLS ARE SUCKING IT.
BIG SURPRISE.
112
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,082
THEY HAVEN'T MADE THE PLAYOFFS
IN LIKE 10 YEARS.
113
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:12,119
[ SIGHS ]
GHOST OF SCOTT NORWOOD.
114
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,921
YEAH, WELL,
SCOTT NORWOOD. HUH.
115
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,255
DAMN HIM.
[ SCOFFS ]
116
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:19,293
WE -- WE SURE HATE
SCOTT NORWOOD, HUH?
117
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,494
HE WAS THE KICKER
118
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:21,995
WHO BLEW THE '91 SUPER BOWL
FOR THE BILLS.
119
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,332
HE'S SORT OF LIKE THE BUFFALO
VERSION OF BILL BUCKNER.
120
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,968
I MEAN, WHO NEEDS A BUFFALO
VERSION OF THAT GUY, HUH?
121
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,102
Mandy:
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
122
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,237
LET'S YOU AND ME
GO TO THE MALL,
123
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,505
'CAUSE I AM SO FED UP
WITH KYLE!
124
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,240
OH, GREAT. GREAT.
I'LL GET MY, UH...
125
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,109
READY TO GO?
YES. BYE, MOM!
126
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,923
HI.
127
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,759
AM I SO HORRIBLE
THAT NOBODY IN MY FAMILY
128
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,160
WANTS TO HANG OUT
WITH ME?
129
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,963
PUT A LITTLE LIVERWURST
ON YOUR FINGERS.
130
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,532
THE DOG WILL BE
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
131
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,167
NO, I MEANT HUMANS.
132
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,635
YEAH?
EVEN AT WORK.
133
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,537
YESTERDAY I WAS TALKING
TO DR. PULLMAN
134
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:05,506
ABOUT OXIDIZING
VENTILATED AIR METHANE
135
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,508
WITH A THERMAL FLOW
REVERSAL REACTOR --
136
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,142
YEAH, LET ME GUESS
HOW THIS STORY ENDS.
137
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,711
SHE JUMPED OUT
HER OFFICE WINDOW.
138
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,113
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GET IT. I GET IT.
139
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,147
GEOLOGY IS BORING.
140
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,950
YOU CAN'T PIN THIS
ON GEOLOGY.
141
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,553
IT'S HOW YOU TALK
ABOUT YOUR WORK.
142
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,154
LISTEN, YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT TRAPPED GAS, RIGHT?
143
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,323
MM-HMM.
THAT SHOULD BE HYSTERICAL.
144
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,325
LISTEN,
TELL YOU WHAT.
145
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,127
LET ME CLEAN UP.
I'LL GET TO THIS LATER.
146
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,562
YOU AND I WILL GO OUT
AND DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
147
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,797
YEAH, WE'LL DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO.
148
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,864
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH.
149
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,466
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO A MODERN-ART GALLERY.
150
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,901
ANYTHING ELSE.
151
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,703
I MEAN, WHAT, DO THEY LURE YOU
IN WITH ALL THAT FREE WINE?
152
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:39,072
MM-HMM.
AND YOU GOT TO DECIDE
WHICH IS THE REAL TOILET.
153
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,307
YEAH, YOU LAUGH.
154
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,142
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY,
"NOT THAT ONE."
155
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,544
RIGHT.
156
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:50,350
I HEAR VANESSA MADE YOU
SIT THROUGH A FRENCH FILM.
157
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,152
WHAT WAS IT ABOUT?
158
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,087
IT WAS
ABOUT THREE HOURS.
159
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,255
AH.
160
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,692
A GUY IN A STRIPED SHIRT
SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING,
161
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,495
SMOKING A CIGARETTE.
162
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,031
WERE THE STRIPES VERTICAL
OR HORIZONTAL?
163
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,599
OH, UH, UH, VERTICAL.
164
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:09,202
AH,
I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT ONE.
165
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,038
I WAS THINKING,
WHY IS VANESSA
166
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,040
CUTTING INTO YOUR "ME" TIME
ALL OF A SUDDEN?
167
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,875
WELL, SHE USUALLY DOES
GIRL STUFF ON THE WEEKENDS
168
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,677
WITH THE OLDER TWO, BUT KRIS
HAS GOT HER OWN APARTMENT,
169
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,880
MANDY'S IN COLLEGE.
I GOT IT. ALL RIGHT.
170
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,882
SO, YOU HAVE VANESSA
BEARING DOWN ON YOU,
171
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,084
YOU LOST YOUR TWO BEST BLOCKERS,
YOU'VE STILL GOT EVE.
172
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,786
OH, NO.
HMM?
173
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,589
VANESSA AND EVE REALLY
NEVER CLICKED, YOU KNOW?
174
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,591
THEY DON'T LIKE
THE SAME KIND OF THINGS.
175
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,059
OH.
EVE'S MORE LIKE YOU?
176
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,193
YOU BET SHE IS.
OH?
177
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,596
SHE ENJOYS DOING STUFF
THAT'S INTERESTING.
178
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:37,931
YESTERDAY,
SHE SLID THE TRUCK
179
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,933
INTO A TIGHT J-TURN
RIGHT INTO A 180.
180
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,034
DAMN!
181
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,037
IT WAS LIKE BEING
IN A SPRINGSTEEN SONG.
182
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,205
UH-HUH? WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW, WHY --
183
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,475
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU HAND
THAT OFF TO VANESSA?
184
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,811
THE DRIVING LESSONS.
LET THEM BOND OVER THAT.
185
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,379
BUT TEACHING EVE
HOW TO DRIVE IS FUN.
186
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,781
PUT HER
AND VANESSA TOGETHER
187
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,149
DOING SOMETHING
EVE ENJOYS DOING.
188
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:59,152
OTHERWISE, IT'LL BE
"AU REVOIR, BONS TEMPS."
189
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,123
"GOODBYE, GOOD TIMES."
190
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,793
THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
THE NAME OF THAT MOVIE.
191
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,498
Mandy:
KYLE, I'M SERIOUS.
192
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,065
YOU'VE GOT TO
START SAYING NO TO MY DAD
193
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,266
WHEN HE ASKS YOU
TO WORK AROUND HERE.
194
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:16,069
OR JUST PRETEND
THAT YOU'RE INCOMPETENT, OKAY?
195
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,771
THAT'S ALWAYS WORKED
FOR ME.
196
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,707
YEAH,
BUT YOU'RE A NATURAL AT IT.
197
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,076
HEY, MORNING.
198
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,478
KYLE, IT SMELLS LIKE
SOMETHING DIED UNDER THE HOUSE.
199
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,846
GUESS WHO'S GONNA GO LOOK
FOR IT.
200
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,080
COME ON!
201
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,950
AND YOU CAN KEEP
WHATEVER YOU FIND.
202
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,319
KYLE, JUST SAY "NO."
203
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,954
OKAY.
204
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,155
YES.
205
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,860
I'M SORRY.
I HELD OUT AS LONG AS I COULD.
206
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,294
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
207
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,830
YOU'RE GONNA NEED A HAMMER,
RIGHT?
208
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,031
THE DEAD ONE
PROBABLY HAD FRIENDS
209
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,398
THAT ARE COMING
TO HIS FUNERAL.
210
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:51,238
HEY. KYLE'S MINE.
GET YOUR OWN BOYFRIEND.
211
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,108
HEY, MANDY.
GOOD MORNING.
212
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,210
OKAY.
WHAT'S HER PROBLEM?
213
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,112
I THINK
SHE'S MAD AT KYLE.
214
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,348
HE'S BEEN BLOWING HER OFF
A LOT LATELY.
215
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,551
WELL, HEY,
LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
216
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,819
I JUST WATCHED
"FAST & FURIOUS 6" LAST NIGHT,
217
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,021
AND I'M ALL GEEKED UP
TO TRY SOME NEW MOVES.
218
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,022
HEY,
A LITTLE CHANGE TODAY.
219
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,891
YOUR MOM'S GONNA TAKE YOU OUT
FOR YOUR LESSON.
220
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:11,892
HUH?
221
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,728
NO PHONES,
CHECK YOUR MIRROR,
222
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:18,065
AND REMEMBER
THE BRAKE IS YOUR BUDDY.
223
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,403
AM I BEING PUNISHED?
224
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:27,040
PUNISHED?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR YOUR MOTHER?
225
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,677
SHE'S GOT FUN SLOGANS.
226
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,211
SLOGANS?
227
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,080
HONEY, COME ON, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A BLAST. LET'S GO. COME ON.
228
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,047
GO ON, NOW.
229
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,750
SEE HOW MANY SMILES
PER GALLON YOU CAN GET.
230
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,660
HEY, MIKE BAXTER HERE
WITH "PROTECT YOUR NUGGET" WEEK
231
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,028
HERE AT OUTDOOR MAN.
232
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,831
YOU KNOW, WE SELL HELMETS
FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING --
233
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,834
BIKING, MOUNTAIN CLIMBING,
KAYAKING.
234
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:57,638
WE'LL EVEN SELL YOU A HELMET
FOR FISHING.
235
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:04,211
[BLEEP] [BLEEP]
THAT KNOCKED MY HAT OFF!
236
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,214
BUT WE DON'T SELL ANY PROTECTION
237
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,850
FOR THE SINGLE
MOST DANGEROUS THING WE DO --
238
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,854
SHARING THE ROAD
WITH THE AMERICAN TEENAGER --
239
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,090
THE RECKLESS, INEPT,
AND ACCIDENT-PRONE.
240
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,425
[ HORNS BLARES, TIRES SCREECH ]
241
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,261
BUT IN ALL FAIRNESS,
THEY ARE TEXTING.
242
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,033
THE PROBLEM IS,
HERE IN THE UNITED STATES,
243
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,035
WE BARELY TEACH KIDS
HOW TO DRIVE.
244
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,436
SO THE FIRST TIME
THEY HIT TROUBLE,
245
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,905
ALL THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IS SLAM
ON THE BRAKES AND DO THIS.
246
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,907
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ WHIMPERS ]
247
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:34,975
"O-M-G."
248
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,979
WHEN ACTUALLY,
SOMETIMES THE SAFEST THING TO DO
249
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,415
IS APPLY A LITTLE ACCELERATOR
AND DRIVE THROUGH THE PROBLEM.
250
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,817
HERE WE GO.
251
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:44,985
[ ENGINE REVS ]
252
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,789
[ BELL DINGING ]
253
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,828
AH, DENMARK --
FAMOUS FOR THEIR GIANT DOGS
254
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,229
AND BREAKFAST PASTRIES.
255
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,497
AND GET THIS --
256
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,300
THE LOWEST AUTOMOBILE-INJURY
RATE IN THE WORLD.
257
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,670
WHY? DENMARK?
258
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,271
BECAUSE IN ORDER
TO GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE,
259
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,906
A TEENAGER IN DENMARK
HAS TO GO THROUGH
260
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,841
A GRUELING SERIES
OF ROAD TESTS --
261
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,242
CORNERING AT HIGH SPEEDS...
262
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,111
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
263
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,646
THERE YOU GO, SVEN. GOOD.
264
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,683
...SKID CONTROL ON ICY ROADS.
265
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,752
NOW, THOSE ARE SOME SKID MARKS
YOU CAN BE PROUD OF.
266
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,320
SO BEFORE YOU GIVE YOUR KID
THE KEYS TO THE CAR,
267
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:23,156
RACE ON DOWN TO OUTDOOR MAN
AND GET HIM A KAYAK.
268
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,524
MAYBE IT WILL KEEP HIM
OFF THE ROAD.
269
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:29,830
OR HE COULD PADDLE IT TO DENMARK
AND LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
270
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,938
EVE, HONEY, LET'S ADJUST
YOUR GRIP ON THE WHEEL.
271
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,506
HANDS SHOULD BE
AT 10:00 AND 2:00.
272
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,941
THERE YOU GO.
273
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,277
BUT ISN'T IT JUST AS GOOD
TO HAVE ONE KNEE AT 6:00?
274
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,447
HONEY, KEEP YOUR HANDS ON
THE WHEEL AND WATCH YOUR SPEED.
275
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,617
RELAX, MOM,
YOU'RE IN GOOD KNEES.
276
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,019
HONEY.
[ SIGHS ]
277
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,621
LOOK, I KNOW YOUR FATHER TAUGHT
YOU ALL KINDS OF FUN TRICKS,
278
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,323
BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO
PASS YOUR TEST.
279
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,558
DON'T WORRY, MOM.
I'LL PASS IT.
280
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,660
BUT FIRST,
I GOT TO PASS THIS...
281
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,196
[ HORN HONKS ]
...DUMBASS IN THIS R.V.!
282
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,833
I THINK THAT'S THE ORGANIST
FROM OUR CHURCH.
283
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,068
HEY, DRIVE IT OR PARK IT,
MRS. GAFFNEY!
284
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,838
HONEY, HONEY!
WATCH THE ROAD RAGE!
285
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:13,573
WELL, IT ISN'T ROAD RAGE
UNTIL YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR.
286
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,375
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT.
287
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,576
YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY.
288
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,045
PULL OVER.
I'LL DRIVE US HOME.
289
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,346
COME ON.
290
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,748
OH. UH-OH. UH-OH.
291
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,183
I THINK MRS. GAFFNEY
IS PULLING OVER, TOO.
292
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:26,720
NOW IT'S ROAD RAGE.
[ STAMMERING ]
293
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,456
HEY, YOU GOT A PROBLEM,
LADY?!
294
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,528
I FOUND THE DEAD ANIMAL,
MR. B.
295
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,596
GOOD WORK, KYLE.
296
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,365
YEAH, I JUST HAD TO
WRESTLE IT AWAY
297
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,568
FROM THE ANIMAL
THAT KILLED IT.
298
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,771
YOU KNOW,
DESPITE THEIR CUTENESS,
299
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,373
RACCOONS
ARE KIND OF JERKS.
300
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:49,609
KYLE, I-I FEEL BAD ABOUT
SPRINGING ALL THESE JOBS ON YOU.
301
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,611
YEAH, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
302
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,114
SO FROM NOW ON, I'M GONNA BE
TELLING YOU AHEAD OF TIME.
303
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,018
TOMORROW,
WE'RE GONNA RESEAL THE DRIVEWAY.
304
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,587
AND BY "WE," I MEAN YOU.
305
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,522
I'LL JUST STOP BY
AND CRITIQUE YOUR JOB
306
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,124
DURING THE MIDDLE
OF THE DAY.
307
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,094
I DO LOVE
THE SMELL OF TAR.
308
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,261
GOOD DEAL.
309
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,697
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO MANDY
THAT I GROW A SPINE
310
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,433
AND START SAYING "NO,"
SO...
311
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,135
NO?
312
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,570
HOLD ON.
313
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,140
MANDY WANTS YOU
TO SAY NO TO ME?
314
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,809
BOY, SHE DOESN'T GET US,
DOES SHE?
315
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,411
[ Laughing ] YEAH.
316
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:28,215
I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE
I DO, EITHER.
317
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,050
YOU KNOW, KYLE,
IT IS IMPORTANT
318
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,618
THAT YOU LEARN
HOW TO SAY "NO."
319
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,821
I'M SO HAPPY
TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.
320
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,623
TO MANDY.
321
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,426
YOU GOT ME AGAIN,
SIR.
322
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,460
WHOA. STOP.
323
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,262
KYLE,
DID YOU JUST PROMISE MY DAD
324
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,097
THAT YOU'D DO SOME OTHER
STUPID CHORE FOR HIM TODAY?
325
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,833
NO, FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING.
326
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,567
COME ON! KYLE.
327
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,969
OKAY.
328
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,671
MR. B., I-I CAN'T DO THIS STUFF
FOR YOU ANYMORE.
329
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,673
YES! I WIN!
330
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,476
AND YOUR REWARD, KYLE -- YOU GET
TO TAKE ME SHOE SHOPPING.
331
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:57,945
NOW,
I WANT TO GET A TRUE FIT,
332
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,980
SO I MIGHT ASK YOU TO CARRY ME
SO MY FEET DON'T SWELL.
333
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,950
WHOA, MANDY.
HEY, KYLE. KYLE, KYLE.
334
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,952
YOU START CARRYING HER
AROUND A SHOE STORE,
335
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,155
YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET FITTED
FOR A SADDLE.
336
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,858
I HAVE TO START SAYING "NO"
TO BOTH OF YOU.
337
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,125
YOU'RE SAYING NO TO ME?
338
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,593
YES.
NO.
339
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,995
YES.
340
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:18,131
WE ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU WANT
TO DO, BUT NO MORE, OKAY?
341
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:21,268
TODAY, I WOULD LIKE
TO GO RIDE DIRT BIKES,
342
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,103
AND YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME
TO JOIN ME,
343
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,072
ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE
TWO DIRT BIKES.
344
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,043
CAN YOU BELIEVE
THE WAY HE JUST SPOKE TO ME?
345
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,278
YEAH,
THAT TOOK GUTS.
346
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,980
MY RESPECT
FOR THAT KID...
347
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,447
ACTUALLY,
I HAVE SOME NOW.
348
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,017
YEAH.
349
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,219
ME, TOO.
THAT WAS SUPER HOT.
350
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,488
KYLE, WAIT FOR ME!
351
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,991
OH,
THANK GOD IT'S YOU.
352
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,158
THERE WAS A 50-50 CHANCE
353
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:47,827
I'D BE HOLDING YOUR DAD
RIGHT NOW.
354
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:49,997
UGH.
355
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,501
HEY. HOW DID
THE DRIVING LESSON GO?
356
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,236
MOM BAILED.
WHAT?
357
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,172
IT'S OKAY TO GET DRUNK
AFTER DRIVING, RIGHT?
358
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,240
WHAT HAPPENED?
359
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,142
WELL, ASK "10:00 AND 2:00"
OVER HERE.
360
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,077
AS A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR,
SHE'S A ZERO.
361
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,215
THE GOOD THING
IS YOU GALS HAD SOME LAUGHS.
362
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,582
YOU DID
ALL THE FUN STUFF
363
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,584
AND YOU LEFT THE BORING STUFF
FOR ME TO TEACH,
364
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,987
LIKE LAWS
AND HOW NOT TO DIE.
365
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,655
DAD TAUGHT ME
ALL THAT STUFF, TOO,
366
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,357
BUT AT LEAST
HE ENJOYS MY COMPANY.
367
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,858
I ENJOY YOUR COMPANY.
368
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,761
NOT AT THIS MOMENT PARTICULARLY,
BUT I-I-I DO.
369
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:22,930
JUST FORGET IT, MOM.
370
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,364
WHAT? WHAT?
371
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,598
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
TO ME, JUST SAY IT. WHAT IS IT?
372
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,833
I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
373
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,601
I KNOW WHY YOU SUDDENLY
WANT TO HANG OUT.
374
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,037
THE TWO DAUGHTERS
YOU ACTUALLY LIKE
375
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,604
ARE ALL BUSY,
SO YOU'RE THINKING, "HMM.
376
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,606
DON'T I HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF
THESE LAYING AROUND SOMEWHERE?"
377
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,243
E-EVE, EVE, EVE!
378
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,012
DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOM
LIKE THAT!
379
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,513
LISTEN, DON'T LISTEN --
DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
380
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,949
SHE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD
WITH A SOCCER BALL
381
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,584
WAY TOO MANY TIMES.
382
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:45,585
I DO TONS OF STUFF WITH EVE.
I KNOW YOU DO.
383
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,020
HONEY,
YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME.
384
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,755
I-I TAKE HER FOR MILKSHAKES
AT STONY'S.
I KNOW.
385
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,324
STONY'S CLOSED YEARS AGO,
HONEY.
386
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,595
IT TURNED INTO A BLOCKBUSTER,
WHICH IS OUT OF BUSINESS NOW.
387
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,030
IT'S A --
IT'S A VACANT LOT.
388
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,365
BUT YOU KNOW,
O-ODDLY ENOUGH,
389
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,766
TH-THEY'RE THINKING OF PUTTING
A MILKSHAKE PLACE BACK THERE.
390
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,534
OH, STOP.
YEAH.
391
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,136
YOU KNOW,
MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT.
392
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,104
SHE'S NOT RIGHT.
HONEY, PLEASE.
393
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,405
NO, SHE IS.
VANESSA, VANESSA.
394
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,040
I-I HAVE SPENT A LOT MORE TIME
WITH HER SISTERS AND --
395
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,609
AND I REALLY
LET THINGS SLIDE WITH EVE.
396
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,045
I'M SUCH A BAD,
BAD MOM.
397
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,313
DON'T BE SO HARD
ON YOURSELF.
398
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,315
YOU'RE CLOSE TO DIFFERENT KIDS
AT DIFFERENT TIMES IN YOUR LIFE.
399
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,150
MM, DO YOU THINK KRISTIN
AND MANDY RESENT YOU
400
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,751
FOR NOT SPENDING MORE TIME
WITH THEM?
401
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,353
DON'T KNOW,
DON'T CARE.
402
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,558
I'M GONNA GO TALK
TO EVE.
403
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,894
WELL,
YOU COULD DO THAT.
404
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:28,895
OR?
405
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,663
OR YOU COULD GIVE IT
SOME TIME,
406
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,898
LET HER THINK ABOUT IT.
407
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,102
THIS IS COMING FROM ME,
THE EVE EXPERT.
408
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,107
[ GROANS ]
409
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,987
[ GUITAR PLAYING ]
410
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,388
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
HEY.
411
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,125
MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS,
HUH?
412
00:15:58,158 --> 00:15:59,626
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
413
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,161
HAVING A LITTLE HEART-TO-HEART
WITH YOU.
414
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,530
HMM. PASS.
415
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,965
WE COULD HAVE A FOOT-TO-BUTT
'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE
416
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,700
HOW YOU TALKED
TO YOUR MOM.
417
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,137
DAD, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING I SAID
WAS TRUE.
418
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,140
SHE'D MUCH RATHER BE HANGING OUT
WITH MANDY OR KRISTIN,
419
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,974
TAKING THEM TO BRUNCH
OR TO THE SPA.
420
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,111
DO YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST
IN ANY OF THOSE THINGS?
421
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,212
HELL NO.
422
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,381
BUT I'D LIKE TO BE ASKED
SO I CAN ROLL MY EYES.
423
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,150
AFTER SEVEN YEARS
OF ROLLING YOUR EYES,
424
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,684
MAYBE YOUR MOM
STOPPED TRYING.
425
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,519
SEE?
SHE BAILED ON ME.
426
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,687
YOU BAILED ON HER.
427
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,689
BECAUSE EVERYTHING
SHE LIKES TO DO IS LAME.
428
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,059
"THE BRAKE IS YOUR BUDDY.
THE BRAKE IS YOUR BUDDY."
429
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,526
THE BRAKE MAY BE
HER ONLY BUDDY.
430
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,962
[ SIGHS ]
YOUR MOM DOES THAT
BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU
431
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,897
AND WANTS YOU SAFE.
YOU ONLY THINK SHE'S LAME
432
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,067
BECAUSE YOU'RE COMPARING HER
TO STUFF I DO.
433
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,535
I KILLED A MOUNTAIN LION
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
434
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,037
MM.
I'M NOT SURE THAT COUNTS
435
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,139
IF YOUR BARE HANDS
ARE HOLDING A RIFLE.
436
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:51,744
SOME GUYS WEAR GLOVES.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
437
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,347
YOU KNOW, I THINK
SOMETIMES THIS IS MY FAULT
438
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,549
BECAUSE I HOGGED YOU
ALL YOUR LIFE.
439
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,351
I HAD TWO DAUGHTERS,
AND I REALLY WANTED A SON.
440
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:01,554
YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW EXCITED
I WAS WHEN YOU CAME ALONG.
441
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,424
I'M A DAUGHTER,
TOO, DAD.
442
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,493
DON'T
SELL YOURSELF SHORT.
443
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,562
YOU'RE MUCH MORE THAN THAT
TO ME, ALL RIGHT?
444
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,431
LISTEN, YOUR MOM REACHED OUT
TO YOU, AND YOU SHUT HER DOWN.
445
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,899
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU REACH OUT TO HER.
446
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,033
THAT'S WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY.
447
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,835
BUT SHE'S THE MOM.
448
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,537
AND YOU'RE THE KID,
BUT NOT FOREVER.
449
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,605
TIME GOES ON.
450
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,073
THIS ISN'T GONNA LAST FOREVER,
YOU KNOW?
451
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,941
YOU WANT A CONNECTION
WITH YOUR MOM?
452
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,009
IT'S A GREAT THING.
453
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,078
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU THOUGHT OF STUFF
454
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,714
THAT YOU GUYS CAN DO TOGETHER,
STUFF THAT SHE LIKES.
455
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:28,915
LIKE WHAT?
456
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,751
UH, MANI-PEDIS, PEDI-MANIS,
THAT STUFF, AND YOU --
457
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,387
YOU PLUCK AND YOU PROD
AND YOU PULL AND YOU OIL
458
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,023
AND A LOT OF EMOLLIENTS --
THAT STUFF.
459
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,826
HOW -- HOW ABOUT
FRENCH MOVIES?
460
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,602
HEY, MOM.
HMM?
461
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:50,803
ARE YOU BUSY?
462
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,572
HEY, HONEY.
463
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,874
UH, YEAH,
I-I JUST GOT A CALL FROM WORK.
464
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,643
I GOT TO DRIVE OUT
TO SOMERSET.
465
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,145
UM...
466
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,880
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU
I THOUGHT I WAS KIND OF A JERK
467
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,749
TODAY IN THE CAR.
468
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,185
YEAH, YOU --
YOU KIND OF WERE.
469
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,156
AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEND
A NOTE TO MRS. GAFFNEY,
470
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:13,126
OR AT LEAST PAY
TO GET HER WIG DRY-CLEANED.
471
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,463
HONEY, COME HERE,
COME HERE, COME ON.
472
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,731
COME SIT DOWN.
COME ON.
473
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,868
I ALWAYS HAVE TIME
FOR MY THIRD-FAVORITE DAUGHTER.
474
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,938
I-I JUST WANTED TO SAY
475
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,940
THAT I-I MISS US HANGING OUT,
YOU KNOW?
476
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:32,078
I THINK WE SHOULD
DO MORE THINGS TOGETHER.
477
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:36,483
ME, TOO. ME, TOO.
478
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,050
LIKE WHAT?
479
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,188
[ SIGHS ]
480
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,756
UH...YOU LIKE WINE,
RIGHT?
481
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,958
OH.
[ LAUGHS ]
482
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,161
NICE TRY. NICE TRY.
483
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,128
NOW, COME ON. COME ON.
484
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,297
LET'S THINK
OF SOMETHING ELSE.
485
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,764
WHAT -- WHAT --
WHAT DID WE USED TO DO?
486
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,534
GOSH. I DON'T KNOW.
JUST...
487
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,970
UM...
488
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,840
YOU USED TO
GIVE ME BATHS.
489
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,176
WELL, THAT MIGHT BE
KIND OF WEIRD NOW.
490
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,044
[ GROANS ] YEAH.
491
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,379
WELL, HEY, UM,
WHAT'S GOING ON IN SOMERSET?
492
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,847
IS THAT SOMETHING?
493
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,651
UH, WELL, I'M DECOMMISSIONING
THE ENTRY POINT TO A COAL SEAM.
494
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,221
BUT Y-YOU DON'T
WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.
495
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,655
NO, IT --
I'M INTERESTED.
496
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,958
UH, WELL, FIRST,
WE HAVE TO VENTILATE THE MINE
497
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,193
FOR RESIDUAL V.A.M.
498
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,629
YEAH, V.A.M. YEAH.
499
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,163
YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THAT
HANGING AROUND.
500
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,332
NO, YOU DON'T.
501
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,167
AND AFTER THAT, WE INITIATE
A CONTROLLED IMPLOSION
502
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,069
TO SEAL
THE MAIN SHAFT.
503
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,872
W-WAIT.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
504
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,474
IMPLOSION?
505
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,744
THAT, LIKE, KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE BLOWING SOMETHING UP.
506
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:41,581
I AM.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
JUST SAY THAT?
507
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,984
OKAY, I'M -- I'M --
I'M BLOWING UP A COAL MINE.
508
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,386
[ CHUCKLES ]
509
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,322
YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE
LED WITH THAT.
510
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,757
OH, MY --
OH, MY GOD.
511
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,092
W-W-WHAT ARE YOU WORKING WITH,
NITRO, R.D.X., DYNAMITE?
512
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,927
WHAT'S YOUR ORDNANCE?
513
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,529
DYNAMITE,
ABOUT HALF A TON.
514
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,231
SWEET! I'M SO IN!
515
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,832
NO, HONEY. NO, NO.
IT'S KIND OF DANGEROUS.
516
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,101
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SWEETEN THE POT, MOM.
517
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,906
PLEASE.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
518
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,175
OH, WHAT THE HELL?
BUT LISTEN.
519
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,011
YOU GOT TO GO BY MY RULES
AND NO COMPLAINING.
520
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,281
I WILL PUT MY HANDS AT 10:00
AND 2:00 ON THE DETONATOR.
521
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,716
BUT SERIOUSLY, I-I CAN'T WAIT
TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS
522
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,050
THAT YOU,
LIKE, BLOW STUFF UP.
523
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,019
NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT AFTER THE IMPLOSION,
524
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,088
I EXAMINE THE SEDIMENTARY DEBRIS
FOR BITUMINOUS ROCK.
525
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,056
DON'T DORK OUT ON ME,
MOM.
526
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,392
OKAY. NO, NO.
527
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,426
[ LAUGHS ]
528
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,228
YEAH,
I-I BLOW STUFF UP.
529
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,230
GREAT. LET'S HIT IT.
530
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,632
UM, WAIT.
531
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,200
UH, SOMERSET'S LIKE
THREE HOURS AWAY.
532
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,735
YOU DON'T NEED
YOUR HELMET YET.
533
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:39,038
YES, I DO
'CAUSE YOU ARE DRIVING.
534
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,107
YES!
535
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,152
Eve: YES! TOUCHDOWN!
Mike: TOUCHDOWN!
536
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,120
WHOO!
I'M GONNA CELEBRATE
WITH A COLD BEER.
537
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,121
YOU'VE EARNED IT.
538
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,557
YOU CARRIED THAT TEAM
ON YOUR BACK.
539
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,759
OH, HONEY, IS THAT THE PLAYER
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT
540
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,260
ON THE DRIVE BACK
FROM SOMERSET?
541
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,662
THE ONE
WHO GOT SUSPENDED?
542
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:03,630
YES.
543
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,731
LUCKILY FOR US,
544
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,965
THE SUSPENSION COST HIM
LIKE 800 GRAND,
545
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,066
SO NOW HE'S PISSED
546
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,935
AND KNOCKING THE SNOT
OUT OF THE OTHER TEAM.
547
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,837
OH.
WHO ARE WE PLAYING?
548
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,238
THE RAIDERS.
HMM.
549
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,240
HOW'S
THEIR SEASON GOING?
550
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,843
WELL, YOU KNOW THE MINE SHAFT
WE BLEW UP?
551
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,445
YEAH.
A LITTLE WORSE THAN THAT.
552
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,746
[ IMITATES EXPLOSION ]
553
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,514
HEY, DAD.
HI.
554
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,149
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?
555
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:28,220
AH, SOMETIMES WHEN GOD CLOSES
A COAL MINE, HE OPENS A WINDOW.
40458
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