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1
00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,292
All right, quick review.
Yellow light means?
2
00:00:06,326 --> 00:00:07,894
Floor it.
3
00:00:07,945 --> 00:00:11,614
- Stop sign?
- Look both ways for johnny law, then floor it.
4
00:00:11,648 --> 00:00:12,999
Yield sign means?
5
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:14,183
Nothing to a Baxter.
6
00:00:14,201 --> 00:00:17,153
[Chuckles] Let's stop right here.
7
00:00:17,187 --> 00:00:19,355
We're gonna go over your parking technique.
8
00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,157
The third spot from the end down there
9
00:00:21,191 --> 00:00:22,792
is the last parking spot you got,
10
00:00:22,826 --> 00:00:24,693
and you're trying to beat
a tree hugger in a hybrid.
11
00:00:24,711 --> 00:00:25,795
You got to be careful
12
00:00:25,829 --> 00:00:27,630
'cause you can't hear those things coming.
13
00:00:27,664 --> 00:00:31,000
Just sit tight and suck
in the g-forces, old man.
14
00:00:31,034 --> 00:00:32,301
[Engine revs, tires screech]
15
00:00:34,888 --> 00:00:36,956
[Groans]
16
00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,307
[Exhales sharply]
17
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,609
Whoo. Okay, a couple of things.
18
00:00:40,511 --> 00:00:42,345
I should have worn a diaper today.
19
00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:43,513
[Chuckles]
20
00:00:43,547 --> 00:00:45,047
And where did you learn how to do that?
21
00:00:45,065 --> 00:00:47,733
I've had the world's
best driving instructor...
22
00:00:48,569 --> 00:00:49,769
"Grand Theft Auto."
23
00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:50,886
A video game.
24
00:00:50,904 --> 00:00:52,672
You know, in my day, if
you wanted to joyride,
25
00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:54,524
you had to actually steal a car.
26
00:00:54,558 --> 00:00:56,909
Yeah, yeah. Life was rough
back then and so much better.
27
00:00:56,944 --> 00:00:58,727
Can we please get out on the open road?
28
00:00:58,745 --> 00:01:01,113
Check the rearview mirror, please.
29
00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:03,065
All right, all clear.
30
00:01:03,083 --> 00:01:04,784
No, there's still something back there.
31
00:01:04,818 --> 00:01:06,402
Really? What?
32
00:01:06,436 --> 00:01:07,837
Your childhood.
33
00:01:08,872 --> 00:01:10,072
Now floor it.
34
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:14,594
[Engine revs, tires screech]
35
00:01:18,198 --> 00:01:22,168
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addiced.com -
36
00:01:22,202 --> 00:01:23,719
"Last Man Standing" was recorded
37
00:01:23,753 --> 00:01:25,221
- in front of a live studio audience.
- [Doorbell rings]
38
00:01:25,255 --> 00:01:27,756
I've got it! I've got it!
39
00:01:27,774 --> 00:01:29,192
Sit yourself.
40
00:01:30,611 --> 00:01:32,261
Hey.
41
00:01:32,279 --> 00:01:33,446
No, none of that monkey business.
42
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,431
I got to get you out of
here before my dad sees you.
43
00:01:35,449 --> 00:01:37,099
Why? Your dad loves it when I come over.
44
00:01:37,117 --> 00:01:38,934
Because he loves putting you to work...
45
00:01:38,952 --> 00:01:41,437
cleaning the gutters, pulling weeds,
46
00:01:41,455 --> 00:01:43,856
scrubbing the guest bathroom.
47
00:01:43,891 --> 00:01:46,108
In fairness, Kyle does
most of the damage in there.
48
00:01:47,444 --> 00:01:48,744
Hey, Kyle. Is that you?
49
00:01:48,778 --> 00:01:50,580
No, Kyle's not here.
Run. Run, run, run. Run.
50
00:01:50,614 --> 00:01:52,248
- Hey, Mr. B.
- Nice running.
51
00:01:52,282 --> 00:01:54,083
I busted one of the
motor mounts in the truck.
52
00:01:54,117 --> 00:01:57,837
It's a two-man job, but we can
make do with a man and a half.
53
00:01:57,888 --> 00:01:59,889
Uh, Kyle and I are going to the mall.
54
00:01:59,923 --> 00:02:01,224
You'd rather go to the mall with her?
55
00:02:01,258 --> 00:02:03,175
You're not half the
half-man I thought you were.
56
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,928
Well, uh, Mandy, honey,
if you want some company,
57
00:02:05,962 --> 00:02:07,096
I'll go to the mall with you.
58
00:02:07,130 --> 00:02:08,764
I mean, I could use a day of beauty.
59
00:02:08,798 --> 00:02:10,600
A day?
60
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:13,769
Oh, ha ha ha.
61
00:02:13,803 --> 00:02:16,656
Yeah, I'm repulsive, but
I'm the best you could do.
62
00:02:17,941 --> 00:02:19,408
No, really, I need to get to the salon.
63
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,744
My eyebrows are like two
caterpillars trying to mate.
64
00:02:21,778 --> 00:02:22,912
[Chuckles]
65
00:02:22,946 --> 00:02:24,813
Come on, honey. My treat.
66
00:02:24,831 --> 00:02:26,148
Yeah, but Kyle and I have plans.
67
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,483
And they don't involve an engine.
68
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:29,485
Uh, well, actually, they kind of do.
69
00:02:29,503 --> 00:02:30,819
This guy Barry at the mall
70
00:02:30,837 --> 00:02:32,922
lets me conduct the
toddler town choo-choo.
71
00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:34,790
He's pretty cool.
72
00:02:34,824 --> 00:02:39,045
I'm not sure he works there, though.
73
00:02:39,096 --> 00:02:40,713
This will just take a second,
Mandy. Come on. Let's go.
74
00:02:40,764 --> 00:02:43,049
Sorry, Mandy. My heart wants to stay.
75
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,102
But whatever organ controls
fear is telling me to go.
76
00:02:46,136 --> 00:02:48,971
Come on, honey. You ready to hit the salon?
77
00:02:49,005 --> 00:02:51,307
[Sighs]
78
00:02:51,341 --> 00:02:53,309
Or I could find a pair of tweezers
79
00:02:53,343 --> 00:02:55,444
and go pluck myself.
80
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,446
Wow. That looks heavy.
81
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:58,731
It is heavy.
82
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:00,900
I want you to slide under the
car so if the chain breaks,
83
00:03:00,951 --> 00:03:02,652
the motor can land on something soft.
84
00:03:02,686 --> 00:03:04,019
Right-o.
85
00:03:04,037 --> 00:03:05,071
Kyle, I'm kidding.
86
00:03:05,122 --> 00:03:06,855
I'm not gonna drop the engine on you.
87
00:03:06,873 --> 00:03:09,024
What I want you to do
is grab the battery posts
88
00:03:09,042 --> 00:03:10,859
and see if there's a full charge.
89
00:03:10,877 --> 00:03:13,045
Aah! Lick your fingers.
90
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,750
Hey, guys.
91
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,252
Oh, hey, Kris, I'm so glad you stopped by.
92
00:03:20,304 --> 00:03:22,254
You won't be when you
hear what I'm looking for.
93
00:03:22,306 --> 00:03:24,674
Have you seen a Guinea pig?
94
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:27,209
Oh, no, I... I thought we
might go to the flea market.
95
00:03:27,227 --> 00:03:29,261
Your new apartment needs furniture.
96
00:03:29,313 --> 00:03:31,297
I'll buy you a couch
somebody's grandmother died on.
97
00:03:31,331 --> 00:03:34,016
Actually, I just came by
to get Boyd's backpack.
98
00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,852
[Sighs] If there's not
a Guinea pig in here,
99
00:03:36,886 --> 00:03:39,855
I am looking down the barrel
of a very rough heart-to-heart.
100
00:03:39,889 --> 00:03:41,857
Ohh.
101
00:03:41,891 --> 00:03:44,110
Shoot. It's not there.
102
00:03:44,161 --> 00:03:45,778
Oh, no snickerdoodle, huh?
103
00:03:45,829 --> 00:03:47,446
- That thing cost 30 bucks.
- Ohh.
104
00:03:47,497 --> 00:03:48,781
Do you think Boyd would notice
105
00:03:48,832 --> 00:03:51,117
if the new snickerdoodle were smaller?
106
00:03:51,168 --> 00:03:53,119
And a... fish?
107
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:55,404
I love you. Got to go.
108
00:03:56,606 --> 00:03:59,058
[Door closes]
109
00:03:59,092 --> 00:04:01,744
So, um... Evie, hi.
110
00:04:01,762 --> 00:04:03,863
Uh, how's it... how's it... how's it going?
111
00:04:03,897 --> 00:04:06,882
Well, the Bills are
sucking it. Big surprise.
112
00:04:06,916 --> 00:04:09,051
They haven't made the
playoffs in like 10 years.
113
00:04:09,085 --> 00:04:11,887
[Sighs] Ghost of Scott Norwood.
114
00:04:11,921 --> 00:04:13,723
Yeah, well, Scott Norwood. Huh.
115
00:04:13,757 --> 00:04:15,141
Damn him. [Scoffs]
116
00:04:16,093 --> 00:04:19,228
We... we sure hate Scott Norwood, huh?
117
00:04:19,262 --> 00:04:20,396
He was the kicker
118
00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:21,981
who blew the '91 Super Bowl for the Bills.
119
00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:24,266
He's sort of like the Buffalo
version of Bill Buckner.
120
00:04:24,284 --> 00:04:27,770
I mean, who needs a Buffalo
version of that guy, huh?
121
00:04:27,804 --> 00:04:28,871
Mandy: You know what, mom?
122
00:04:28,905 --> 00:04:30,206
Let's you and me go to the mall,
123
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,440
'cause I am so fed up with Kyle!
124
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:33,209
Oh, great. Great. I'll get my, uh...
125
00:04:33,243 --> 00:04:35,878
- Ready to go?
- Yes. Bye, mom!
126
00:04:47,123 --> 00:04:49,759
Hi.
127
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:51,967
Am I so horrible that nobody in my family
128
00:04:51,985 --> 00:04:53,301
wants to hang out with me?
129
00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:56,138
Put a little liverwurst on your fingers.
130
00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:58,807
The dog will be your best friend.
131
00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:00,308
No, I meant humans.
132
00:05:00,326 --> 00:05:01,810
- Yeah?
- Even at work.
133
00:05:01,828 --> 00:05:03,746
Yesterday I was talking to Dr. Pullman
134
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:05,697
about oxidizing ventilated air methane
135
00:05:05,749 --> 00:05:07,699
with a thermal flow reversal reactor...
136
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:09,418
Yeah, let me guess how this story ends.
137
00:05:09,452 --> 00:05:10,903
She jumped out her office window.
138
00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:13,205
You know what? I get it. I get it.
139
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:14,456
Geology is boring.
140
00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:17,292
You can't pin this on geology.
141
00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:19,795
It's how you talk about your work.
142
00:05:19,829 --> 00:05:21,463
Listen, you were talking
about trapped gas, right?
143
00:05:21,497 --> 00:05:23,599
- Mm-hmm.
- That should be hysterical.
144
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,601
Listen, tell you what.
145
00:05:25,635 --> 00:05:27,436
Let me clean up. I'll get to this later.
146
00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:28,804
You and I will go out
and do something together.
147
00:05:28,838 --> 00:05:29,972
Yeah, we'll do whatever you want to do.
148
00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:31,023
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
149
00:05:31,057 --> 00:05:32,691
We're not going to a modern-art gallery.
150
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:34,059
Anything else.
151
00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:35,894
I mean, what, do they lure
you in with all that free wine?
152
00:05:35,945 --> 00:05:39,398
And you got to decide
which is the real toilet.
153
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:40,566
Yeah, you laugh.
154
00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:42,234
All you had to do was say, "not that one."
155
00:05:42,285 --> 00:05:43,735
Right.
156
00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:50,876
I hear Vanessa made you
sit through a French film.
157
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:52,544
What was it about?
158
00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:54,713
It was about three hours.
159
00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:55,831
Ah.
160
00:05:55,882 --> 00:05:59,167
A guy in a striped shirt
searching for something,
161
00:05:59,218 --> 00:06:01,953
smoking a cigarette.
162
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,589
Were the stripes vertical or horizontal?
163
00:06:04,623 --> 00:06:06,058
Oh, uh, uh, vertical.
164
00:06:06,092 --> 00:06:09,728
Ah, I haven't seen that one.
165
00:06:09,762 --> 00:06:11,396
I was thinking, why is Vanessa
166
00:06:11,431 --> 00:06:13,398
cutting into your "me"
time all of a sudden?
167
00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:15,267
Well, she usually does
girl stuff on the weekends
168
00:06:15,301 --> 00:06:17,102
with the older two, but kris
has got her own apartment,
169
00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:20,272
- Mandy's in college.
- I got it. All right.
170
00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:22,274
So, you have Vanessa bearing down on you,
171
00:06:22,308 --> 00:06:24,443
you lost your two best
blockers, you've still got Eve.
172
00:06:24,477 --> 00:06:26,194
- Oh, no.
- Hmm?
173
00:06:26,245 --> 00:06:29,030
Vanessa and Eve really
never clicked, you know?
174
00:06:29,082 --> 00:06:31,032
They don't like the same kind of things.
175
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,417
Oh. Eve's more like you?
176
00:06:32,452 --> 00:06:33,502
- You bet she is.
- Oh?
177
00:06:33,536 --> 00:06:36,004
She enjoys doing stuff that's interesting.
178
00:06:37,256 --> 00:06:38,540
Yesterday, she slid the truck
179
00:06:38,591 --> 00:06:40,542
into a tight j-turn right into a 180.
180
00:06:40,593 --> 00:06:41,626
Damn!
181
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:44,613
It was like being in a Springsteen song.
182
00:06:44,647 --> 00:06:45,764
Uh-huh? Wait a minute. Now, why...
183
00:06:45,798 --> 00:06:47,999
well, why don't you
hand that off to Vanessa?
184
00:06:48,017 --> 00:06:51,269
The driving lessons.
Let them bond over that.
185
00:06:51,304 --> 00:06:52,904
But teaching Eve how to drive is fun.
186
00:06:52,939 --> 00:06:54,222
Put her and Vanessa together
187
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:56,725
doing something Eve enjoys doing.
188
00:06:56,776 --> 00:06:59,694
Otherwise, it'll be
"Au revoir, bon temps."
189
00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:03,648
"Goodbye, good times."
190
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:06,184
That should have been
the name of that movie.
191
00:07:08,103 --> 00:07:10,738
Mandy: Kyle, I'm serious.
192
00:07:10,772 --> 00:07:12,172
You've got to start saying no to my dad
193
00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:13,524
when he asks you to work around here.
194
00:07:13,575 --> 00:07:16,193
Or just pretend that
you're incompetent, okay?
195
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,978
That's always worked for me.
196
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:19,914
Yeah, but you're a natural at it.
197
00:07:21,249 --> 00:07:23,417
Hey, morning.
198
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:24,752
Kyle, it smells like
something died under the house.
199
00:07:24,786 --> 00:07:26,036
Guess who's gonna go look for it.
200
00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:27,421
Come on!
201
00:07:27,455 --> 00:07:30,090
And you can keep whatever you find.
202
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:32,626
Kyle, just say "no."
203
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,128
Okay.
204
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,262
Yes.
205
00:07:37,649 --> 00:07:40,050
I'm sorry. I held out as long as I could.
206
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:41,602
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
207
00:07:41,636 --> 00:07:43,020
You're gonna need a hammer, right?
208
00:07:43,054 --> 00:07:44,388
The dead one probably had friends
209
00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:45,672
that are coming to his funeral.
210
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:51,528
Hey. Kyle's mine. Get your own boyfriend.
211
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,449
Hey, Mandy. Good morning.
212
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:57,568
Okay. What's her problem?
213
00:07:57,619 --> 00:07:59,286
I think she's mad at Kyle.
214
00:07:59,321 --> 00:08:01,622
He's been blowing her off a lot lately.
215
00:08:01,656 --> 00:08:03,791
Well, hey, let's hit the road.
216
00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:05,993
I just watched "Fast &
Furious 6" last night,
217
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,162
and I'm all geeked up
to try some new moves.
218
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,330
Hey, a little change today.
219
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,065
Your mom's gonna take
you out for your lesson.
220
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,049
Huh?
221
00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:14,918
No phones, check your mirror,
222
00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:18,372
and remember the brake is your buddy.
223
00:08:21,559 --> 00:08:23,677
Am I being punished?
224
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:27,181
Punished? Didn't you hear your mother?
225
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,883
She's got fun slogans.
226
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,518
Slogans?
227
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,220
Honey, come on, we're gonna
have a blast. Let's go. Come on.
228
00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:34,388
Go on, now.
229
00:08:34,406 --> 00:08:36,940
See how many smiles per gallon you can get.
230
00:08:44,361 --> 00:08:46,512
Hey, Mike Baxter here with
"Protect your nugget" week
231
00:08:46,530 --> 00:08:47,813
here at Outdoor Man.
232
00:08:47,847 --> 00:08:50,650
You know, we sell helmets
for just about everything...
233
00:08:50,684 --> 00:08:53,653
Biking, mountain climbing, kayaking.
234
00:08:53,687 --> 00:08:57,490
We'll even sell you a helmet for fishing.
235
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:04,080
[Bleep] [Bleep] That knocked my hat off!
236
00:09:04,131 --> 00:09:07,083
But we don't sell any protection
237
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:09,585
for the single most
dangerous thing we do...
238
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:13,589
sharing the road with
the American teenager...
239
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,809
The reckless, inept, and accident-prone.
240
00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:18,261
[Horns blares, tires screech]
241
00:09:18,312 --> 00:09:21,097
But in all fairness, they are texting.
242
00:09:24,318 --> 00:09:25,768
The problem is, here in the United States,
243
00:09:25,819 --> 00:09:27,770
we barely teach kids how to drive.
244
00:09:27,821 --> 00:09:29,322
So the first time they hit trouble,
245
00:09:29,356 --> 00:09:31,691
all they know how to do is
slam on the brakes and do this.
246
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,693
[Tires screech] [Whimpers]
247
00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:34,944
"O-m-g."
248
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:38,948
When actually, sometimes
the safest thing to do
249
00:09:38,999 --> 00:09:42,285
is apply a little accelerator
and drive through the problem.
250
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:43,619
Here we go.
251
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:44,921
[Engine revs]
252
00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:48,574
[Bell dinging]
253
00:09:50,827 --> 00:09:54,647
Ah, Denmark... famous for their giant dogs
254
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,132
and breakfast pastries.
255
00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:57,383
And get this...
256
00:09:57,417 --> 00:10:00,202
the lowest automobile-injury
rate in the world.
257
00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:02,555
Why? Denmark?
258
00:10:02,589 --> 00:10:04,223
Because in order to get a driver's license,
259
00:10:04,257 --> 00:10:05,725
a teenager in Denmark has to go through
260
00:10:05,759 --> 00:10:07,693
a grueling series of road tests...
261
00:10:07,728 --> 00:10:09,195
cornering at high speeds...
262
00:10:09,229 --> 00:10:11,096
[Tires screech]
263
00:10:11,014 --> 00:10:12,431
There you go, Sven. Good.
264
00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:15,468
Skid control on icy roads.
265
00:10:15,502 --> 00:10:18,504
Now, those are some skid
marks you can be proud of.
266
00:10:18,522 --> 00:10:20,172
So before you give your
kid the keys to the car,
267
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:22,841
race on down to Outdoor
Man and get him a kayak.
268
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:24,343
Maybe it will keep him off the road.
269
00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:29,532
Or he could paddle it to
Denmark and learn how to drive.
270
00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:37,657
Eve, honey, let's adjust
your grip on the wheel.
271
00:10:37,691 --> 00:10:39,325
Hands should be at 10:00 and 2:00.
272
00:10:39,359 --> 00:10:40,660
There you go.
273
00:10:40,694 --> 00:10:44,163
But isn't it just as good
to have one knee at 6:00?
274
00:10:44,197 --> 00:10:47,300
Honey, keep your hands on the
wheel and watch your speed.
275
00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:50,419
Relax, mom, you're in good knees.
276
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,754
Honey. [Sighs]
277
00:10:51,805 --> 00:10:54,423
Look, I know your father taught
you all kinds of fun tricks,
278
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:56,225
but you still have to pass your test.
279
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:58,377
Don't worry, mom. I'll pass it.
280
00:10:59,179 --> 00:11:00,479
But first, I got to pass this...
281
00:11:00,514 --> 00:11:03,048
[Horn honks] ... dumbass in this R.V.!
282
00:11:03,066 --> 00:11:05,551
I think that's the
organist from our church.
283
00:11:05,569 --> 00:11:07,937
Hey, drive it or park it, Mrs. Gaffney!
284
00:11:07,988 --> 00:11:10,556
Honey, honey! Watch the road rage!
285
00:11:10,574 --> 00:11:13,359
Well, it isn't road rage
until you get out of the car.
286
00:11:13,393 --> 00:11:15,194
You know what? That's it.
287
00:11:15,228 --> 00:11:16,362
You're not taking this seriously.
288
00:11:16,396 --> 00:11:17,730
Pull over. I'll drive us home.
289
00:11:17,748 --> 00:11:19,165
Come on.
290
00:11:19,232 --> 00:11:20,499
Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
291
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:23,035
I think Mrs. Gaffney is pulling over, too.
292
00:11:23,069 --> 00:11:26,422
- Now it's road rage.
- [Stammering]
293
00:11:27,374 --> 00:11:29,258
Hey, you got a problem, lady?!
294
00:11:33,597 --> 00:11:35,348
I found the dead animal, Mr. B.
295
00:11:35,382 --> 00:11:36,415
Good work, Kyle.
296
00:11:36,433 --> 00:11:38,217
Yeah, I just had to wrestle it away
297
00:11:38,251 --> 00:11:41,387
from the animal that killed it.
298
00:11:41,421 --> 00:11:43,556
You know, despite their cuteness,
299
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:46,225
raccoons are kind of jerks.
300
00:11:46,259 --> 00:11:49,428
Kyle, I... I feel bad about
springing all these jobs on you.
301
00:11:49,463 --> 00:11:51,414
Yeah, I've been wanting
to talk to you about that.
302
00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:53,783
So from now on, I'm gonna
be telling you ahead of time.
303
00:11:55,118 --> 00:11:57,936
Tomorrow, we're gonna reseal the driveway.
304
00:11:57,955 --> 00:12:00,406
And by "we," I mean you.
305
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,274
I'll just stop by and critique your job
306
00:12:02,292 --> 00:12:03,776
during the middle of the day.
307
00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:06,779
I do love the smell of tar.
308
00:12:06,797 --> 00:12:08,113
Good deal.
309
00:12:08,131 --> 00:12:10,449
But it's important to
Mandy that I grow a spine
310
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:13,252
and start saying "no," so...
311
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:15,004
No?
312
00:12:15,055 --> 00:12:17,340
Hold on.
313
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:20,009
Mandy wants you to say no to me?
314
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,560
Boy, she doesn't get us, does she?
315
00:12:21,595 --> 00:12:24,230
[Laughing] Yeah.
316
00:12:24,264 --> 00:12:28,067
I'm not entirely sure I do, either.
317
00:12:28,101 --> 00:12:29,735
You know, Kyle, it is important
318
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:31,404
that you learn how to say "no."
319
00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:33,572
I'm so happy to hear you say that.
320
00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:36,409
To Mandy.
321
00:12:36,443 --> 00:12:39,245
You got me again, sir.
322
00:12:39,279 --> 00:12:40,279
Whoa. Stop.
323
00:12:40,313 --> 00:12:42,114
Kyle, did you just promise my dad
324
00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:43,783
that you'd do some other
stupid chore for him today?
325
00:12:43,817 --> 00:12:45,584
- No, first thing in the morning.
- Come on!
326
00:12:45,619 --> 00:12:47,370
Kyle.
327
00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:48,704
Okay.
328
00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:51,490
Mr. B., I... I can't do
this stuff for you anymore.
329
00:12:51,508 --> 00:12:53,492
Yes! I win!
330
00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:56,328
And your reward, Kyle... you
get to take me shoe shopping.
331
00:12:56,346 --> 00:12:57,680
Now, I want to get a true fit,
332
00:12:57,714 --> 00:12:59,682
so I might ask you to carry
me so my feet don't swell.
333
00:13:00,851 --> 00:13:02,835
- Whoa, Mandy.
- Hey, Kyle. Kyle, Kyle.
334
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:04,837
You start carrying her around a shoe store,
335
00:13:04,855 --> 00:13:08,006
you might as well get fitted for a saddle.
336
00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:10,559
I have to start saying "no" to both of you.
337
00:13:10,610 --> 00:13:11,977
You're saying no to me?
338
00:13:12,011 --> 00:13:13,345
- Yes.
- No.
339
00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:14,680
Yes.
340
00:13:14,698 --> 00:13:17,983
We always do what you want
to do, but no more, okay?
341
00:13:18,017 --> 00:13:21,070
Today, I would like to go ride dirt bikes,
342
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:22,955
and you are more than welcome to join me,
343
00:13:22,989 --> 00:13:24,707
especially if you have two dirt bikes.
344
00:13:27,794 --> 00:13:29,745
Can you believe the
way he just spoke to me?
345
00:13:29,796 --> 00:13:31,130
Yeah, that took guts.
346
00:13:31,164 --> 00:13:32,698
My respect for that kid...
347
00:13:32,716 --> 00:13:34,300
actually, I have some now.
348
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:36,919
Yeah.
349
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:39,088
Me, too. That was super hot.
350
00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:41,257
Kyle, wait for me!
351
00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:43,709
Oh, thank God it's you.
352
00:13:43,727 --> 00:13:45,043
There was a 50-50 chance
353
00:13:45,062 --> 00:13:47,546
I'd be holding your dad right now.
354
00:13:48,548 --> 00:13:49,882
Ugh.
355
00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:54,320
Hey. How did the driving lesson go?
356
00:13:54,354 --> 00:13:56,105
- Mom bailed.
- What?
357
00:13:56,156 --> 00:13:59,057
It's okay to get drunk
after driving, right?
358
00:13:59,076 --> 00:14:00,109
What happened?
359
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,944
Well, ask "10:00 and 2:00" over here.
360
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,896
As a driving instructor, she's a zero.
361
00:14:05,398 --> 00:14:08,033
The good thing is you gals had some laughs.
362
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,368
You did all the fun stuff
363
00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:11,370
and you left the boring
stuff for me to teach,
364
00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:13,672
like laws and how not to die.
365
00:14:13,707 --> 00:14:15,407
Dad taught me all that stuff, too,
366
00:14:15,425 --> 00:14:17,159
but at least he enjoys my company.
367
00:14:17,194 --> 00:14:18,577
I enjoy your company.
368
00:14:18,595 --> 00:14:21,514
Not at this moment
particularly, but I... I... I do.
369
00:14:21,548 --> 00:14:22,848
Just forget it, mom.
370
00:14:22,883 --> 00:14:24,183
What? What?
371
00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:25,367
If you have something to say
to me, just say it. What is it?
372
00:14:25,402 --> 00:14:26,552
I'm not an idiot.
373
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:28,387
I know why you suddenly want to hang out.
374
00:14:28,422 --> 00:14:29,722
The two daughters you actually like
375
00:14:29,756 --> 00:14:31,390
are all busy, so you're thinking, "hmm.
376
00:14:31,424 --> 00:14:33,359
Don't I have another one of
these laying around somewhere?"
377
00:14:34,611 --> 00:14:36,094
E... Eve, Eve, Eve!
378
00:14:36,113 --> 00:14:38,697
Don't talk to your mom like that!
379
00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:40,282
Listen, don't listen don't listen to her.
380
00:14:40,317 --> 00:14:41,867
She got hit in the head with a soccer ball
381
00:14:41,902 --> 00:14:44,370
way too many times.
382
00:14:44,404 --> 00:14:45,371
- I do tons of stuff with Eve.
- I know you do.
383
00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:46,705
Honey, you don't need to tell me.
384
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,491
- I... I take her for milkshakes at Stony's.
- I know.
385
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:51,127
Stony's closed years ago, honey.
386
00:14:52,078 --> 00:14:55,414
It turned into a blockbuster,
which is out of business now.
387
00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:56,749
It's a... it's a vacant lot.
388
00:14:56,783 --> 00:14:58,217
But you know, o... oddly enough,
389
00:14:58,251 --> 00:14:59,552
th... they're thinking of putting
a milkshake place back there.
390
00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:01,286
- Oh, stop.
- Yeah.
391
00:15:01,304 --> 00:15:02,788
You know, maybe she's right.
392
00:15:02,806 --> 00:15:03,956
- She's not right.
- Honey, please.
393
00:15:03,974 --> 00:15:05,174
- No, she is.
- Vanessa, Vanessa.
394
00:15:05,225 --> 00:15:06,675
I... I have spent a lot more
time with her sisters and...
395
00:15:06,726 --> 00:15:09,345
and I really let things slide with Eve.
396
00:15:09,396 --> 00:15:11,680
I'm such a bad, bad mom.
397
00:15:11,731 --> 00:15:13,115
Don't be so hard on yourself.
398
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:15,133
You're close to different kids
at different times in your life.
399
00:15:15,152 --> 00:15:16,785
Mm, do you think Kristin
and Mandy resent you
400
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,470
for not spending more time with them?
401
00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:20,138
Don't know, don't care.
402
00:15:22,308 --> 00:15:25,310
I'm gonna go talk to Eve.
403
00:15:25,328 --> 00:15:27,580
Well, you could do that.
404
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:28,581
Or?
405
00:15:28,615 --> 00:15:30,416
Or you could give it some time,
406
00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:31,584
let her think about it.
407
00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:34,703
This is coming from me, the Eve expert.
408
00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:39,992
[Groans]
409
00:15:52,436 --> 00:15:54,186
[Guitar playing]
410
00:15:54,237 --> 00:15:55,504
[Knock on door] Hey.
411
00:15:56,573 --> 00:15:58,291
Mothers and daughters, huh?
412
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,692
What are you doing?
413
00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:01,277
Having a little
heart-to-heart with you.
414
00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:03,579
Hmm. Pass.
415
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:06,115
We could have a foot-to-butt
'cause I don't like
416
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:07,700
how you talked to your mom.
417
00:16:07,751 --> 00:16:10,036
Dad, you know everything I said was true.
418
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:13,039
She'd much rather be hanging
out with Mandy or Kristin,
419
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:15,157
taking them to brunch or to the spa.
420
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,260
Do you have any interest
in any of those things?
421
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:19,362
Hell no.
422
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,497
But I'd like to be asked
so I can roll my eyes.
423
00:16:21,531 --> 00:16:23,299
After seven years of rolling your eyes,
424
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:24,717
maybe your mom stopped trying.
425
00:16:24,768 --> 00:16:26,585
See? She bailed on me.
426
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,720
You bailed on her.
427
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,722
Because everything she likes to do is lame.
428
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,024
"The brake is your buddy.
The brake is your buddy."
429
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,609
The brake may be her only buddy.
430
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,945
[Sighs] Your mom does
that because she loves you
431
00:16:35,979 --> 00:16:37,897
and wants you safe. You
only think she's lame
432
00:16:37,948 --> 00:16:40,232
because you're comparing her to stuff I do.
433
00:16:40,283 --> 00:16:42,618
I killed a mountain
lion with my bare hands.
434
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,203
Mm. I'm not sure that counts
435
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,288
if your bare hands are holding a rifle.
436
00:16:46,323 --> 00:16:51,794
Some guys wear gloves.
That's all I'm saying.
437
00:16:51,828 --> 00:16:54,463
You know, I think
sometimes this is my fault
438
00:16:54,498 --> 00:16:56,666
because I hogged you all your life.
439
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,484
I had two daughters, and
I really wanted a son.
440
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,604
You can only imagine how excited
I was when you came along.
441
00:17:01,638 --> 00:17:04,507
I'm a daughter, too, dad.
442
00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:06,525
Don't sell yourself short.
443
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,595
You're much more than
that to me, all right?
444
00:17:09,646 --> 00:17:11,514
Listen, your mom reached out
to you, and you shut her down.
445
00:17:11,548 --> 00:17:12,865
I think it's time you reach out to her.
446
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:13,983
That's what I'm trying to say.
447
00:17:14,017 --> 00:17:15,801
But she's the mom.
448
00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:17,570
And you're the kid, but not forever.
449
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,654
Time goes on.
450
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,222
This isn't gonna last forever, you know?
451
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,907
You want a connection with your mom?
452
00:17:21,942 --> 00:17:22,958
It's a great thing.
453
00:17:22,993 --> 00:17:25,227
I think it's time you thought of stuff
454
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,730
that you guys can do
together, stuff that she likes.
455
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:28,914
Like what?
456
00:17:28,949 --> 00:17:31,751
Uh, mani-pedis, pedi-manis,
that stuff, and you...
457
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:34,453
you pluck and you prod
and you pull and you oil
458
00:17:34,504 --> 00:17:37,006
and a lot of emollients that stuff.
459
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,842
How... how about French movies?
460
00:17:48,218 --> 00:17:49,685
- Hey, mom.
- Hmm?
461
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,853
Are you busy?
462
00:17:50,887 --> 00:17:52,638
Hey, honey.
463
00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,890
Uh, yeah, I... I just got a call from work.
464
00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:56,709
I got to drive out to Somerset.
465
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,110
Um...
466
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,896
I just wanted to tell you I
thought I was kind of a jerk
467
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,732
today in the car.
468
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:05,267
Yeah, you... you kind of were.
469
00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:09,255
And you might want to send
a note to Mrs. Gaffney,
470
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,992
or at least pay to get her wig dry-cleaned.
471
00:18:14,878 --> 00:18:16,495
Honey, come here, come here, come on.
472
00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:18,838
Come sit down. Come on.
473
00:18:18,872 --> 00:18:21,924
I always have time for my
third-favorite daughter.
474
00:18:24,043 --> 00:18:26,011
I... I just wanted to say
475
00:18:26,045 --> 00:18:28,013
that I... I miss us hanging out, you know?
476
00:18:28,047 --> 00:18:32,318
I think we should do more things together.
477
00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:36,655
Me, too. Me, too.
478
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:38,073
Like what?
479
00:18:39,943 --> 00:18:41,427
[Sighs]
480
00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:43,863
Uh... you like wine, right?
481
00:18:43,897 --> 00:18:46,031
Oh. [Laughs]
482
00:18:46,065 --> 00:18:48,200
Nice try. Nice try.
483
00:18:48,234 --> 00:18:49,368
Now, come on. Come on.
484
00:18:49,402 --> 00:18:50,502
Let's think of something else.
485
00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:51,871
What... what... what did we used to do?
486
00:18:51,905 --> 00:18:54,707
Gosh. I don't know. Just...
487
00:18:54,741 --> 00:18:58,043
Um...
488
00:18:58,078 --> 00:19:00,963
you used to give me baths.
489
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,382
Well, that might be kind of weird now.
490
00:19:03,416 --> 00:19:05,083
[Groans] Yeah.
491
00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:06,552
Well, hey, um, what's going on in Somerset?
492
00:19:06,586 --> 00:19:07,920
Is that something?
493
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:11,757
Uh, well, I'm decommissioning
the entry point to a coal seam.
494
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:14,426
But y... you don't want to hear about this.
495
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,761
No, it... I'm interested.
496
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,981
Uh, well, first, we have
to ventilate the mine
497
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,399
for residual V.A.M.
498
00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:22,735
Yeah, V.A.M. Yeah.
499
00:19:22,769 --> 00:19:24,153
You don't want any of that hanging around.
500
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,487
No, you don't.
501
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:28,374
And after that, we initiate
a controlled implosion
502
00:19:28,408 --> 00:19:30,108
to seal the main shaft.
503
00:19:30,126 --> 00:19:32,945
W... wait. Wait, wait, wait.
504
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,613
Implosion?
505
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,833
That, like, kind of sounds like
you're blowing something up.
506
00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:41,754
- I am.
- Well, why didn't you just say that?
507
00:19:41,788 --> 00:19:45,257
Okay, I'm... I'm... I'm
blowing up a coal mine.
508
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:46,592
[Chuckles]
509
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:49,511
Yeah, maybe I should have led with that.
510
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:50,896
Oh, my... oh, my God.
511
00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:53,349
W... w... what are you working
with, nitro, R.D.X., dynamite?
512
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,017
What's your ordnance?
513
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,685
Dynamite, about half a ton.
514
00:19:56,736 --> 00:19:58,470
Sweet! I'm so in!
515
00:19:58,488 --> 00:19:59,939
No, honey. No, no. It's kind of dangerous.
516
00:19:59,973 --> 00:20:02,141
You don't have to sweeten the pot, mom.
517
00:20:04,945 --> 00:20:06,996
- Please.
- Okay, okay, okay.
518
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,415
Oh, what the hell? But listen.
519
00:20:09,449 --> 00:20:12,084
You got to go by my
rules and no complaining.
520
00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:14,503
I will put my hands at 10:00
and 2:00 on the detonator.
521
00:20:14,537 --> 00:20:16,839
But seriously, I... I can't
wait to tell all my friends
522
00:20:16,873 --> 00:20:18,323
that you, like, blow stuff up.
523
00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:20,092
Not only that, but after the implosion,
524
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:22,378
I examine the sedimentary
debris for bituminous rock.
525
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,162
Don't dork out on me, mom.
526
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,631
Okay. No, no.
527
00:20:25,665 --> 00:20:26,665
[Laughs]
528
00:20:26,716 --> 00:20:29,501
Yeah, I... I blow stuff up.
529
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,503
Great. Let's hit it.
530
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,838
Um, wait.
531
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,473
Uh, Somerset's like three hours away.
532
00:20:34,507 --> 00:20:35,891
You don't need your helmet yet.
533
00:20:35,942 --> 00:20:39,344
Yes, I do 'cause you are driving.
534
00:20:39,362 --> 00:20:41,397
Yes!
535
00:20:51,259 --> 00:20:52,392
- Eve: Yes! Touchdown!
- Mike: Touchdown!
536
00:20:52,443 --> 00:20:53,694
- Whoo!
- I'm gonna celebrate with a cold beer.
537
00:20:53,728 --> 00:20:54,678
You've earned it.
538
00:20:54,696 --> 00:20:57,013
You carried that team on your back.
539
00:20:57,031 --> 00:20:59,149
Oh, honey, is that the player
you were telling me about
540
00:20:59,183 --> 00:21:00,684
on the drive back from Somerset?
541
00:21:00,702 --> 00:21:02,119
The one who got suspended?
542
00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:03,237
Yes.
543
00:21:03,288 --> 00:21:04,288
Luckily for us,
544
00:21:04,322 --> 00:21:05,706
the suspension cost him like 800 grand,
545
00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:06,790
so now he's pissed
546
00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:08,425
and knocking the snot
out of the other team.
547
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:10,377
Oh. Who are we playing?
548
00:21:10,411 --> 00:21:11,861
- The Raiders.
- Hmm.
549
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,864
How's their season going?
550
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,400
Well, you know the mine shaft we blew up?
551
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:18,135
- Yeah.
- A little worse than that.
552
00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:19,269
[Imitates explosion]
553
00:21:19,304 --> 00:21:21,188
- Hey, dad.
- Hi.
554
00:21:21,222 --> 00:21:22,589
What you looking at?
555
00:21:22,624 --> 00:21:28,061
Ah, sometimes when God closes
a coal mine, he opens a window.
556
00:21:31,918 --> 00:21:40,046
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addiced.com -
40444
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