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♪ Terrible Tudors
Gorgeous Georgians
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00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,880
♪ Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
Woeful wars, ferocious fights
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00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,320
♪ Dingy castles, daring knights
4
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,960
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,360
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
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00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,440
♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen, savage, fearsome, toothless
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00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,080
♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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♪ Gory stories, we do that
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♪ And your host, a talking rat
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00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,240
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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♪ Welcome to... Horrible Histories! ♪
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Horrible Histories presents...
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Our Precious Planet.
14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,200
How do the sideburns look?
Bushy enough?
15
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Oh, you bet they are!
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Right. I'm Charles Darwin.
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Scientist,
Victorian national treasure,
18
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and 1852 Facial Hair Of The Year.
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Third place.
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And this... is Planet Earth.
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Our home, and home
to countless species of animals,
22
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plants, birds, fish and insects.
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And perhaps
the most fascinating of all these
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is this amazing creature.
25
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The humble earthworm!
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Cut! Sorry, Charles, if we could
just leave the worms out of it
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and concentrate on the big stuff.
No problem. Cut the worms.
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Yeah. Got it. Take two!
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The Planet Earth,
this miracle, floating in space.
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And you know what else is a miracle?
It's these little fellows...
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Cut! Cut! Hello!
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Oh, for goodness' sake. You've
slipped into worms again, Charles.
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Did I? Yes. I don't think I did.
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You like worms. Love 'em.
Wrote a book about them.
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The Formation Of Vegetable Mould
Through The Action Of Worms.
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Sounds like a right page-turner.
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It's just this programme's not about
worms. It's not? No. Right.
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Take three!
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Third time lucky.
40
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,120
The Planet Earth.
It's inspired us to invent art,
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technology and... music!
42
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I've asked my son
to entertain the worms!
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Right, cut! What?!
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I want to see if they react
to music. Charles! Hit it!
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♪ Worms
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♪ How I love them, how I love them
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♪ They're so firm and wriggly
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♪ Worms
How I love them, how I love them
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♪ They make me shy and giggly... ♪
Cut!
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Everybody! # Worms... ♪
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Talk about an earworm.
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As well as worms, our planet has
many other riches
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buried underground,
like oil, coal and gold,
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which ideally should all be left
exactly where they are,
55
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but enormous amounts of the gold
got dug up
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00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,200
during the Gold Rush
in 19th-century America.
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00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,440
Good job the oil and coal
are still there,
58
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,240
What? We're taking all of them too?
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00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,160
Unbelievable!
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Hello, stranger!
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Good afternoon, ma'am.
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I will take a shovel, please.
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00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,800
Sure thing, friend.
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00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,800
That'll be 40 bucks. 40 bucks?!
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00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,680
Come on now. Back home,
I can get a shovel for 20 cents.
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00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,640
That's, um... 200 times
the regular back home price, yes.
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00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,640
Exactly! No-one's going to pay that.
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00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,680
Howdy, stranger.
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00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,640
Shovel! 40 bucks.
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You got it.
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Hoo-hoo-hoo!
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Gold, here I come!
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00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,400
I's a-gonna be rich!
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,840
Fine. I'll take a shovel.
That'll be 50 bucks.
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00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,240
50 bucks?! You said it was 40.
Well, now I only got two left.
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00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,840
You could always wait until
I've got one left. That'll be 60.
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00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,520
And that's with a discount
on account of I like your smile.
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00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,320
Well, I don't like yours. Fine.
79
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,160
I'll take the $50 one. Second-best
investment you ever made.
80
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,240
Here. Second-best?
My last jar of Gold Grease.
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00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,400
Ten bucks. Gold Grease?
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00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,200
Strip naked, coat yourself in it,
roll down a hill,
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00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,880
picking up gold as you go.
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00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,280
You must think I'm an idiot!
Have you got any Gold Grease?
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00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,240
I'll take it! Last ten bucks!
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00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,760
But I don't have a care in the world
on account of I'm going to strike...
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♪ Gold! Gold!
Always believed I'd strike gold
88
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,560
♪ I may be clean out of dough
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00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,960
♪ But I'm here to have a go
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00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,360
♪ Always believed, yeah,
he'll strike...
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00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,240
♪ Gold!
Gold!
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00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,880
♪ Thousands of dollars I'll earn
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00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,120
♪ I can't afford to return
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00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,400
♪ So there's no going home
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00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,080
♪ Always believed, yeah
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00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,280
♪ Once they discovered gold
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00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,760
♪ Thousands came here
to mine the land
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00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,240
♪ It has gotten quite out of hand
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00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,640
♪ The trees and the cows have gone
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00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,560
♪ Crime is on the rise every day
101
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,280
♪ You might find some gold though
Hooray!
102
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,560
♪ Going to be rich anyway
The amount they pay
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00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,600
♪ Why did I ever make this call?
104
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,600
♪ Cos with a little luck
I could have it all
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00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,720
♪ Gold!
Gold!
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00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,200
♪ Let's go and look for some gold
107
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,960
♪ Hundreds of spades I have sold
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00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,560
♪ I'm on a massive roll
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00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,080
♪ Always believe, yeah
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00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400
♪ You'll strike gold! ♪
111
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Pack it up, boys.
We done run out of gold!
112
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:54,360
We've dug it all up. Excuse me?
You heard, boy.
113
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,680
Dangnabbit! That can't be true!
114
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,680
Can I get a refund on these, please?
It's against policy.
115
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,320
This is the worst day of my life.
116
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,920
Hi, there.
I'm the Mayor of this here town.
117
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,880
Pithole.
You know, just three years ago,
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00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,960
there was nothing here.
No town, no people.
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00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,360
Now we've got 20,000 people,
54 hotels, a post office
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00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:24,000
and a theatre! And I can tell you
how it happened in one word.
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Oil!
122
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,280
We're getting the oil
out of the ground here
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00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,240
faster than you could say
potential ecological disaster!
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00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,600
And the good news is that oil brings
jobs, money, civilisation
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00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:41,160
and the American Dream.
It's the perfect town.
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00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,920
If you don't mind
the permanent smell of poo.
127
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,760
We're still working on the plumbing.
Ooh!
128
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,400
But, hey, we're a young town
129
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,760
and we've got all the time in
the world to figure that stuff out.
130
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,760
After all, we've got so much oil
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00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,640
that this town's going to be here
forever!
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00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,920
Hey, everyone! The price of oil just
dropped cos there's so much of it!
133
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,040
We're all out of business!
Let's get out of here!
134
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,640
Oh, no.
135
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,440
Hi, I'm the Mayor and I guess...
136
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,040
...the only resident of Pithole. No!
137
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,120
I'm still here. Oh, boy.
BREAKS WIND
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00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,000
So...
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00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,320
If you like derelict ghost towns,
140
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,320
why not pay us a visit?
141
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,160
You may want to give it ten minutes.
BREAKS WIND
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00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,360
Yes, it's me, Henry VIII!
And you're right to be excited.
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00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,960
It wasn't just the Americans
that were gobbling up
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00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,840
the planet's precious resources.
We English were doing it too.
145
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,360
And when I say "we",
I actually mean me.
146
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,080
Timber!
147
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,960
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
148
00:07:55,360 --> 00:08:00,120
Ah, the forests of England.
One of our greatest resources.
149
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,200
Vast swathes of wooded land
teeming with animal life.
150
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,720
Beautiful birds. Nice tune, dude.
151
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,640
Hello there, little fellow.
152
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,920
You know, it's these vast forests
and woodlands
153
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,600
that make England what it is today.
154
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,680
Because we can chop them all down
and make warships.
155
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,520
2,000 oak trees per boat.
156
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,240
And we can use the rest
for charcoal for the ironworks.
157
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,560
Oh, this is such a nice...
Um, Your Majesty?
158
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,360
There may be consequences
to stripping England's woodlands.
159
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,240
For a start,
it wouldn't be sustainable.
160
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,440
What do we do the next time? Nick
all the land off the monasteries!
161
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,320
We've already done that.
Well, we can use the warships,
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00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,760
made from these noble plants,
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00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,920
to conquer other countries and chop
all their trees down. Good times!
164
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,920
Yes, but what happens when
their trees run out? I don't know!
165
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,560
Pass a law to plant some more
or something.
166
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,920
You're the adviser. Boring me now.
167
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,600
Oh!
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00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,000
If you want to make yourself useful,
go fetch that squirrel. Cook it.
169
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,840
I'm hungry.
170
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,880
SINGS TO HIMSELF
171
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:10,120
So we either dug up or chopped down
a lot of our planet's resources,
172
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:14,600
but at least we didn't wipe out
a load of the animal species too.
173
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,600
What? The animals too?!
174
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,400
Oh, come on! My book shouldn't have
been called The Origin Of Species,
175
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,520
it should have been called
the end of them! Wait...
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00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,280
Please tell me
there are still some worms left.
177
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,280
Time now to meet some new
fluffy and feathered friends.
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00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,080
With more and more of the world's
species endangered,
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00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,840
we asked some people from history
to come on the show
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00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,360
with some of the very last
living examples
181
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,520
of some wonderful animals.
I can't wait to meet them.
182
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,520
This is the last of the dodos
from the late 17th century.
183
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:55,400
A large, flightless bird living
on the island of Mauritius.
184
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,960
Sorry. I was under the impression
that this was a cookery show.
185
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:04,000
You... cooked the last dodo?
It's not my fault!
186
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,720
The dodo has... had...
the very unfortunate combination
187
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,920
of being both very tasty
and very trusting.
188
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,840
And very not good at flying away
from people that want to eat it.
189
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,360
This is delicious!
190
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,520
And an absolute disgrace!
191
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,120
You can sit there and
think about what you've done
192
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,160
while we meet our next guest.
193
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,480
Richard is a sailor
from the 18th century
194
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,280
and he is bringing with him
the last ever Steller's sea cow.
195
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,760
Oh. It was not made clear
that you wanted it alive.
196
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,120
That's totally what happened to me.
This is...
197
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,600
...was... a tasty
and trusting sea creature.
198
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,280
Tasty and trusting. Tasty and
trusting. Tasty and trusting.
199
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,600
To be fair, it was floating
on the surface, almost waiting.
200
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,880
You know? After humans discovered
Steller's sea cows,
201
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,880
{\an8}it was 27 years before we'd
eaten them all. I'm not surprised!
202
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,120
It's delicious!
Try the blubber. It's nice.
203
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,200
Right, let's move on.
A live report now from 1918
204
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,280
and Cincinnati, where we will meet
205
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,080
the last-ever living
Carolina parakeet.
206
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,560
{\an8}Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is this not a fashion show?
207
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,880
{\an8}Now that is a lovely hat.
208
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,520
Are they hard to get?
Um... they are now.
209
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,280
Harold? This is a STEM jobs fair.
210
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,200
I work in science.
211
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,440
You sell cakes at the Science
Museum. It's not the same thing.
212
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,840
Interested in seeing the world?
213
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,080
Getting your hands dirty, exploiting
our natural resources?
214
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,800
Join my whaling expedition
and I'll make you rich!
215
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,560
We can kill over 100 whales
in a single voyage.
216
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,600
That's awful!
The cruelty's bad enough,
217
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,640
but if you keep hunting them
like that, we'll have none left.
218
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,560
Yeah, that'll be a shame,
given how useful they are.
219
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,040
Every part of the whale makes money,
you see.
220
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,920
The bones are used in clothing,
the oil's used in lamps.
221
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,480
Ahh! And we eat their vomit.
222
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,080
Well, I think it's disgusting,
particularly the vomit thing.
223
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,800
Then I better not tell you about
using their poo to dye clothes.
224
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,480
Can I ask how you lost your...?
225
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,120
And your...? Minor work injuries!
226
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,360
Yeah, can take hours to kill a whale
227
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:22,720
and by then they've smashed the boat
and most of your limbs to pieces.
228
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,800
Harold, shall we?
229
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,920
Oh, not again!
230
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,880
Is that my other leg?
231
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,680
Interested in oil prospecting?
232
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,240
Oh! Gosh! There's another one.
233
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,520
You could explore
our beautiful planet
234
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:43,120
and get rich in an instant!
Ohhh! That's interesting.
235
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,800
Hang on. Are you what happens
to oil prospectors?
236
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,520
Well, I grant you
there's poor sanitation
237
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,880
and fires are common, but I was
fur trapping when I got attacked
238
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,640
by the bear, so that doesn't count.
Fur trapping?
239
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:59,040
Yep. If you're interested in fur
trapping, they've got a stall there
240
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,160
and an actual bear
you can play with.
241
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,640
That sounds very dangerous.
Yeah, it is.
242
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,840
GROWLING
Oh, look. The bear escaped.
243
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,640
The bear escaped! Aargh!
244
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,000
Can we go home now? Want a job
building the American railroads?
245
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,840
Oh, railroads!
246
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,720
You don't need qualifications.
Just a steady hand.
247
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,080
Perfect. Great. We're giving people
a try-out right now.
248
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,920
All you have to do is carry a box
of nitro-glycerine
249
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,920
from one table to another.
250
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,440
Isn't nitro-glycerine
incredibly explosive?
251
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,960
Yes, it is. That's why we use it
to blast holes in the mountains
252
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,280
for the train tunnels. Right,
253
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,920
you just have to be
really, really care...
254
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,680
...care... Oh...
255
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,480
Achoo!
256
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,800
Oh!
257
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,640
You know what? I might go back
to selling cakes at the museum.
258
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,120
SHE SIGHS
259
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:58,320
We've been trying to tame the planet
for hundreds of years
260
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,880
by creating beautiful gardens
or farming the land.
261
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,560
And one of the first people
to write a guide book
262
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,120
on how to farm the land
was Thomas Tusser.
263
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,440
Bit of an odd fish, this one.
264
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,360
Hello. Are you Thomas Tusser?
265
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,440
Why, yes, that is me.
How can I help, agriculturally?
266
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,440
I'm looking for some advice
on farming and my mate, Steve,
267
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,320
thinks you might be able to help.
Ah!
268
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,880
A cow, good of milk, big of bulk,
269
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,440
hale and sound, is yearly,
for profit, as good as a pound.
270
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,240
MOOING
OK.
271
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,800
Get a cow then.
Nice little money-spinner, is it?
272
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,920
Yet every year
have I proved before now
273
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,320
as good for the purse
is a sow as a cow.
274
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,560
Right. So a pig, then?
275
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,960
Keep one or keep both,
do as thou will,
276
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,840
then all will be saved
and nothing be spilled.
277
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,280
Why are you talking like that?
It's all from a book written by me
278
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,600
called 500 Points Of Good Husbandry.
279
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,000
Should probably just call it
farming, like everyone else does.
280
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,280
Hang on. There are 500 of these?
281
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,400
I gives all my knowledge
quite strictly in rhyme.
282
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,520
That way you remember it every time.
283
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,760
Just starting to get
a little bit annoying.
284
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,720
You could buy my book,
the advice is all sound,
285
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,160
and that way you'll skip
all my prancing around.
286
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,520
Stop that now. Yes, my wisdom
I usually serve up in writing.
287
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:27,680
Turn up in person, there's usually
fighting. Please stop rhyming!
288
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,680
With your permission,
I'll now take my leave.
289
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,200
And give me regards to our mutual
friend Steve! Right, that's it!
290
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,240
Sorry! Come back here!
291
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,480
In France,
if we weren't farming ze land,
292
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,840
we were turning it
into huge fancy gardens.
293
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,840
Ze fanciest of zem all
were those at Versailles,
294
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,240
filled with stunning flowers
and trees, fountains, lakes
295
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560
and exotic animals, zey were truly
a marvel for the eye,
296
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,520
if not always for the nose.
297
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,680
OK, OK, turn.
298
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:05,280
Voila! Ze gardens of Louis XIV's
palace of Versailles.
299
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,640
We're not allowed here! No, it's OK.
300
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,040
Anyone can come in,
as long as they don't have smallpox.
301
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,520
Oh!
302
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,080
That's actually pretty strict.
There's a lot of smallpox about.
303
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,840
Open your heart and listen to...
304
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,440
FART
Oh, sacre bleu!
305
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,760
Pardonnez-moi.
I didn't mean to ruin ze moment.
306
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,240
What are you doing behind zere?
There are no toilets at the palace
307
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,200
{\an8}so some of us use the garden. Bof.
308
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,120
Open your heart and listen...
Madame and monsieur,
309
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,720
King Louis XIV approaches!
310
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,960
Morning, Dennis.
311
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,920
Just looking for a vacant bush
with some double-ply leaves.
312
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,520
The bees,
they are covered in poo poo!
313
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,960
Come away, Marie! Come away!
Come away! Come!
314
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,520
Come.
315
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,360
Morning!
316
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,640
Pardon my pantalon cough.
FART
317
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,600
You need a hat and a sword
to walk through these gardens,
318
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:09,760
but it's OK. You can... hire them...
from the concierge. Ah!
319
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,040
This way, Marie!
It's quieter down here.
320
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,920
SQUELCH
Oh! Oh, no!
321
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,680
Oh, no, no, no. It's OK, Marie.
322
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,880
It's just elephant poo.
323
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,600
The King keeps exotic animals,
so it's fine.
324
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,680
Come. Ooh!
325
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,240
Ahh... That one is human.
326
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,640
Aaah! My darling, nothing is going
as I had planned it,
327
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,600
but listen...
328
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,560
I brought you here
to ask you to make me
329
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,440
ze happiest man...
FART
330
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,560
Oh, excusez-moi.
331
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,840
Zat was me. My darling,
332
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,560
will you marry me?
333
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,040
Er... didn't you just drop that
in a massive poo?
334
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,920
Ah, yes, but...
And you picked it up?
335
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,480
I kind of had to.
This isn't going to work.
336
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,840
But I love you! No... Ooh!
Can you keep it down
337
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,160
for one second? Yep.
FART
338
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,920
No, no... No!
339
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,040
FARTY POOING
340
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,400
I think I'll give that place
a swerve on my next voyage.
341
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,840
Yes, I love to travel
and explore this wonderful planet
342
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,880
in all its glory.
343
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,200
Thankfully, by my time,
344
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,240
we adventurers knew
that the world was round,
345
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,920
unlike some of my predecessors.
346
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,320
Would you look at that?
347
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,840
Marvellous!
348
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,000
Oh, dear!
SMASHES
349
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,240
I'm sure it's fine.
350
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,080
BELL RINGS
351
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,800
It's day one at Grant Academy's
Planet Week.
352
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,200
As Geography teacher Mr Singh got
lost on the way to school,
353
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,040
headteacher Mrs Thomas has
brought in a last-minute substitute.
354
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,760
Welcome to Historical Educating.
355
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,920
I'm really patting myself
on the back for this one.
356
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,000
Mr Democritus is a Greek traveller
357
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,640
and a mathematician
from the 5th century BC.
358
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,920
So he should know a thing or two
about the planet.
359
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,800
Hello, children. So let's check
if you're familiar with the basics.
360
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,920
What shape is the planet?
361
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,200
It's a globe, sir.
Forgive me. That's ridiculous.
362
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,760
The world really is...
363
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,360
...a flat disc.
364
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,920
Shaped like Achilles' shield,
365
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,920
but slightly tilted.
366
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,840
How come everything doesn't
just slide off?
367
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,000
"How come everything doesn't just
slide off?" Look, let me explain.
368
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,680
Imagine this is the Earth.
369
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,200
OK? And...
370
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,960
...these are people.
371
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:53,160
As you can see, when it tilts,
things do not slide off.
372
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,960
Oh, no, they do.
373
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,280
I made a terrible mistake.
374
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,000
Aaaaaah!
375
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,760
Grab a hold of something! Quick!
Before you slide off the planet,
376
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,360
you fools!
Mr Democritus has been called in
377
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,960
to see the headteacher. I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.
378
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,640
You're fired. Yeah, fine.
379
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,360
You might have to wait for the Earth
to tilt towards the door there.
380
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,600
Luckily, Mrs Thomas has managed to
secure another replacement
381
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,360
Geography teacher
at even shorter notice.
382
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,920
Mr Snorri Sturluson was
a famous Viking chronicler.
383
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,400
We Vikings are excellent navigators.
We have sailed
384
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,720
all around the world and you can do
this because, as the sagas tell us,
385
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:42,040
the world is round, flat
and surrounded by oceans.
386
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,680
And the land we are standing on
is made of dead frost giant.
387
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:53,200
The god Odin killed it
and turned its skull into a sky!
388
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,920
And the skull sky is held in place
by four giant dwarves!
389
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,280
And the sea is the giant's blood!
390
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,840
You might want to make notes.
391
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,400
He's cool. He let me hold his axe.
392
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,680
Mr Sturluson has also been called in
to see Mrs Thomas
393
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,840
for a quiet chat. The world is not
held up by four giant dwarves!
394
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,320
Isn't it? What happened to them?
The dwarves have been stolen!
395
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000
Arm yourselves! To the boats!
396
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,960
And you're fired!
397
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,680
Have we tilted back yet?
398
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,880
Of course, the world is round.
399
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,200
Well, ish.
400
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,760
And if we look after it,
hopefully, it will stay that way.
401
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,000
Oh, for goodness' sake!
402
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,400
Of course,
trying to save the planet isn't new.
403
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,600
Long before there was Greta, there
were other environmental pioneers,
404
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,760
desperately trying to do good,
but in those early days,
405
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,320
hardly anyone else thought
there was a problem.
406
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,640
Has anyone got any more tape?
407
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,320
Sorting out the beefs of the past...
I'm the law, Hannibal!
408
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,240
...with the justice of today.
409
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,920
You illegally parked your elephant
in the Alps!
410
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,080
Welcome to Time Beefs
With Judge Rinder.
411
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,920
Rachel Carson, marine biologist
and conservationist
412
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,880
from the 20th century, helped
kick off the environmental movement.
413
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,040
She wants fewer chemicals used
in farming because they kill insects
414
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,880
and damage nature.
415
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,440
The defendants, representatives
from the US chemical industry,
416
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,560
want her to stop being a pest.
417
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,800
Miss Carson, as I understand it,
418
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,720
in addition to being a marvellous
environmental campaigner,
419
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,440
you're also a very famous author.
Isn't that right? Yes, that's right.
420
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,280
Now I believe that farmers should
work with nature and not against it.
421
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,400
Chemicals and pesticides
pushed by these companies
422
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:59,600
may kill pests, but they also kill
beneficial insects.
423
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,760
Good riddance! Ssh! Talking!
Do carry on.
424
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,840
I have been the subject
of many attacks in the press.
425
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:11,360
Communist! Like that. One letter
published in the New York Times
426
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,440
even said that we can manage
perfectly well
427
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,600
without animals and birds.
428
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600
My ideas are all explained
in my best-selling book
429
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,000
Silent Spring, available now.
430
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,240
Should have stayed
a bit more silent.
431
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,680
Excuse me, this is my courtroom.
You understand chemical formulas?
432
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,680
Right. Well, here's one for you.
433
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,480
One part me talking equals
one part you shutting up.
434
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,160
Understood? Now,
435
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,040
I'm willing to listen
to any reasonable arguments.
436
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,000
Your Honour, we have written
our own version of the first chapter
437
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,480
of her book. It's called
The Desolate Year.
438
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,320
Imagine a world without pesticides.
You open your front door... Bugs!
439
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,520
You get in your car... Bugs!
440
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,640
You go for a picnic
in the countryside... Bugs!
441
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,880
There are meant to be bugs
in the countryside!
442
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,240
I wish they were in book shops
so they ate your book!
443
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,640
It wouldn't take them long
to eat your tiny...
444
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,960
You guys are certainly bugging me.
445
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,720
Miss Carson, I shall stop them
immediately. Thank you.
446
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,160
Well, it's a win for the bugs!
447
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,880
Bugs one, progress zero.
448
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:20,800
God dag! It's me, Swedish engineer
Sten Gustaf Thulin.
449
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,280
Today I wanted to talk to you
about plastics.
450
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,960
There have been many forms of
plastics since the Middle Ages
451
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,640
when they used to make it
out of bones or shells.
452
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,960
In 1907, Leo Baekeland invented
453
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:41,760
the first-ever, mass-produced,
man-made synthetic plastic.
454
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,000
And he called it Bakelite.
455
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,040
PHONE RINGS
456
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,280
Please don't call me
while I'm at work!
457
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,640
Since then, we've invented
plastic, well, everything.
458
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,000
The real revolution came
when I invented...
459
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,120
...the plastic bag!
460
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,960
Imagine what environmental good
this plastic bag could do.
461
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,840
No more need to chop down trees
to make paper bags!
462
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,880
And this bag will last forever!
463
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,240
You could just use it over and over
and over again!
464
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,000
Hey, these plastic bags
are really popular. Told you.
465
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,400
Companies are buying billions of
them. And why wouldn't they?
466
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,640
Wait... Billions? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
467
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,120
But these degrade over centuries.
468
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,080
The whole point of these is
that we re-use the same ones.
469
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,200
Ah, people seem to prefer throwing
them away and getting another one.
470
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,760
But I've been using this one
for ages!
471
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,760
But this one's filthy. Here,
have another one. I've got loads.
472
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,600
No...
473
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,480
This is not...
474
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520
What have I done?!
475
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,000
This is too much!
476
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,160
Plastic bags! Can you believe it?
477
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,160
They were invented
to try and save the environment!
478
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:01,080
I mean, the idea was good.
The end result? Less so.
479
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,280
In all honesty, I'm a bit shocked
480
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,840
about some of the things done to our
precious planet since I was around.
481
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,360
But I hear things ARE changing.
482
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,840
And people are realising
we'll need to protect
483
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,760
this wonderful world we live in
if we want to keep it.
484
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,080
I know we can do it.
485
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,720
Together.
486
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,120
From now on, let's be the good guys.
487
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,800
♪ Our planet
We should see the signs
488
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,320
♪ We're damaging it over time
489
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,480
♪ History we must now rewind
490
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,560
♪ To undo our mistakes
491
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,960
♪ Romans reared lots of livestock
492
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,480
♪ For farming
Which released methane
493
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,120
♪ From farting
Plus blacksmith forgers were
494
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,840
♪ Harming the atmosphere
495
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,360
♪ So you're a Roman
Sounds like you had no plan
496
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:08,840
♪ Shame you didn't know, man
But you were just the first man
497
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,680
♪ That's pretty bad, guys.
498
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,360
♪ Huh?
499
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,320
♪ Tudors building warships
500
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,160
♪ Out of forests
501
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,440
♪ They stripped the land
leaving no trees
502
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,040
♪ Wasn't a blip because
503
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,760
♪ It is still happening
504
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,440
♪ So you're a Tudor
Shame you didn't think more
505
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,920
♪ Taking all that wood
for ships to go and fight wars
506
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,880
♪ That's pretty bad, guys
507
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,680
♪ Huh?
508
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,960
♪ Industrial Revolution
509
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,360
♪ An increase in air pollution
510
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:02,240
♪ Machines built with no solution
511
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,640
♪ For our longevity
512
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,840
♪ Black gold, life changed forever
513
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,600
♪ Makes plastic
Degrades, like, never
514
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,120
♪ And fumes that are not so clever
515
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,000
♪ So it's time to think again
516
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,520
♪ It's got to end now
Listen to my friend while
517
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,640
♪ Greta comprehends
how we can make a change now
518
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,680
♪ Be a kind guy
Cleaning up the seas guy
519
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,560
♪ Planting lots of trees guy
Power from the breeze guy
520
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:38,560
♪ Let's be the good guys... ♪
521
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,400
Woooo! Ooh!
522
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,640
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
523
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,760
♪ Hope you enjoyed...
Horrible Histories! ♪
524
00:28:58,810 --> 00:29:03,360
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